Chapter 22: Joint mission with the Sound Pillar, Uzui Tengen

Notes: Part 1 of the Entertainment District Arc. Spoiler Alert for those who haven't read the manga.
*pokes head out of her comforter*wiggling hands out of the burrito she wrapped herself in*smiles sheepishly* Thank you for not giving up on this just yet and waiting so patiently for me to upload the rest of the chapters. The Skeleton Detective and his Combat Accessory are currently wrecking havoc in the back of my mind.

'Four months had passed since the train mission. During that time, Zenitsu, Inosuke and I trained at the Butterfly Estate, with the help of Kiyo-chan, Sumi-chan and Naho-chan. We each did push-ups with one of the girls on our backs, with Kiyo-chan ordering us how many we'd do, and then we'd run through the nearby forest, from the Kamado Residence to the Butterfly Estate and back.'

"I'll do my best. Just give me a strand of Nezuko-chan's hair." Zenitsu would look ready to pass out, as they trained.

"I'm charging in until my bones break!" Inosuke would scream, "Come on, you guys!"

"Come on! Just a little more! Keep at it!" he'd call towards Zenitsu, encouraging him, as they all ran through the forest.

'Inosuke showed me his Beast Breath. Trained me. He even tried to chip my swords to look like his. We took breaks from training to go hunt demons when the crows brought our orders. When we had to go carry out our duties alone, Zenitsu kept whining and Inosuke became even more reckless than before. Tamayo-san and Shinobu had stabilised Rengoku-san and we were now waiting for him to wake up. I think the fact I am not alone…makes me kinda happy.'

After the end of each mission together, or on his own, they returned to the Butterfly Estate. Tanjirou would always make a stop by his house first, to let his family know he was alright, but that he'd be at Shinobu's.

And so was the case, that day.

'I'm tired.' Tanjirou thought.

He was making his way back to the Estate, after a quick visit to his family, when he heard the cries.

"Let us go!" he heard Aoi-san's voice, "I… This girl…"

Then, after a moment, he heard her again, "Ka-Kanao! Kanao! Kanao-sama!"

'Shinobu's out on a mission?' he wondered, picking up his pace, and then, 'Who would attack the girls in broad daylight?!'

A stunned silence followed.

And then a voice he recognised.

"JUST SAY SOMETHING, YOU PLAIN BORING PERSON!"

"CH-CHAAARGEEE!" multiple cries of attack followed.

"HEY! DAMMIT, YOU! CUT THAT CRAP OUT!"

"What are you doing to the girls?!" he called out, running in, ready to fight Uzui-san, "Get your hands off them!"

He ran to see what caused all the commotion, fearing the worst, only to see the girls swarming Uzui-san.

"What." he blinked, 'Wait… Are they swarming him? Did he… Which is it?'

"He is a kidnapper!" Kiyo-chan shouted, "Help us!"

"You dumb little brat!" Uzui-san shouted turning to Kiyo-chan, making the little girl scream.

Tanjirou rushed forth in the blink of an eye, but Uzui-san managed to avoid him easily.

Tanjirou fell down and Kiyo-chan landed on top of him.

"Are you okay?" he asked quickly.

"Yeah." she cried.

"You fool. You forgot I am a former shinobi and known as the most flamboyant man around these parts?" he asked, "Did you think I could get headbutted by a brat like you?"

"Give Aoi-san and Naho-chan back, Uzui-san!" he called.

"Yeah, yeah!"

"What are you even planning?!"

"Pervert!"

"You dumb brats! Who do you think you're mouthing off to?! I am a Pillar! I have superiority here!" Uzui-san looked ready to blow a blood vessel in his anger.

"You are not acting a lot like one right now, so I don't accept you as one. Hmph!"

"Don't 'hmph' meeee! What the hell do you mean you don't accept me!? You lowly brat! You're just an underling! Is your brain completely dead!? I need a girl member on the mission, so I am bringing them along. They aren't Tsugukos, so I don't need Kochou's permission!"

"Naho-chan isn't a member of the Corps! She isn't wearing a uniform." Kiyo-chan called.

"Then I don't need her." Uzui-san dropped the little girl and Tanjirou managed to catch her.

"What are you doing?! Are you out of your mind?! You inhuman bastard!" he called out, "And what gave you the idea Shinobu-san won't be poisoning you for touching Aoi-san and Naho-chan?!"

"He dropped me!" Naho-chan was crying.

"Anyways, for now I am taking her on my mission. She doesn't look useful, but she's stil a corps member regardless."

"Aoi-san is second only to Shinobu-san in medicine. The reason so many Slayers recover so well, is because of Aoi-san. People have their own circumstances and different abilities and needs. You can't use them with no regard of them at all, or poke around insensitively. Let Aoi-san go!"

"Tepid. So tepid. You're a mess and plain out tired. You're supposed to be the next Sun Pillar. Spouting things like that, I can see why the corps is getting weaker."

"Take me in place of Aoi-san!" Tanjirou said.

Just then Zenitsu and Inosuke appeared.

"I was just on my way back, but I've got some strength left." Inosuke said, "I can head out."

"L-L-L-L-L-L-Let go of Aoi-chan!" Zenitsu stuttered in anger, and fear, pointing a finger at Uzui-san, "Even if you're some kinda muscle monster, y-y-y-y-you're not t-t-taking a single step…"

Uzui-san thought about it for a moment.

"Whatever. Okay. Then I'll take you guys with me." he said.

'He's clearly stepping down without a fight.' Tanjirou thought, a bit surprised, 'Then again, that's Uzui-san; unexpected.'

"But you better not disappoint me." he smirked, spanking Aoi-san.

"Hey!"

"Do your wives know you're feeling up young girls?" Tanjirou frowned.

He didn't talk after that for a while.

Tanjirou felt like he hit a sensitive nerve.

"I am so sorry." Aoi-san said, as the three of them moved to follow Uzui-san.

"It's fine, Aoi-san." Tanjirou smiled, "I wasn't going to stand by and let him take you. My father said that a Pillar is supposed to protect other Slayers, as well as civilians. From anything. Not just demons."

"Please be careful." Aoi-san said, tears in her eyes.

Tanjirou smiled.

"We will." he promised.

"Tanjirou-san…" Kiyo-chan looked on sadly.

And they were off, the girls of the Butterfly Estate watching them go.

"So…?" Inosuke asked, "Where are we going?"

"To the flashiest and most flamboyant place in Japan, steeped in lust and avarice." Uzui-san said, "It's the entertainment district where demons dwell."

"Oh, Gods above, my mother is going to kill you and then Shinobu-san will kill you again, because you wanted to take Aoi-san and Naho-chan to the red light district. Uzui-san, you are a pervert." Tanjirou said, with a disgusted look on his face.

Zenitsu cowered at that look. He'd seen it, before. Had been on its receiving end.

Uzui-san seemed to wilt a little at it, too.

But he recovered quickly.

"All right… Now! I am a God! You are trash! First off, get that right into your skulls! Screw it in there! If I tell you to become a dog, become a dog! If I tell you to become a monkey, become a monkey! You will always humor me while stooping down and imploring me for favors. And do your best to flatter me!" Uzui-san declared, "I'll say this one more time! I am God!"

Tanjirou, having heard something similar before raised his hand, to humor him.

"What are you the god of? What exactly do you rule over?" he asked with a straight face.

He could smell Zenitsu's shock beside him.

"Nice question. I have high hopes for you." Uzui-san said, proudly.

Tanjirou almost lost it by how ready Zenitsu was to lose all hope for humanity at this point.

"I am the god who rules over flamboyance… The god of festivities."

"I am the king of the mountain. Greetings, god of festivities." Inosuke said with a straight face.

"What are you talking about… You're just disgusting." Uzui-san replied, just as seriously, "Eww."

Tanjirou nearly gave himself away, while Zenitsu gave off a smell of utter incredulity. Uzui-san and Inosuke just glared at each other.

"The Wisteria Crest House is on the way to the Flower district. We'll get prepared there." the Sound Pillar said, "Follow me."

And with that he was gone – a dark speck in the distance.

"Huh?"

"He's gone?! Ah! He's so far gone he looks as small as a sesame seed!" Zenitsu exclaimed.

"So this is the power of the god of festivities!" Inosuke exclaimed, impressed.

"No, that guy's Uzui Tengen-san, the Sound Pillar." Tanjirou explained, kindly.

"After him! After him! Quit chatting!" Zenitsu urged them, as they ran.

They managed to catch up to him and keep pace.

Once at the Wisteria Crest House, a very annoyed Uzui-san gave out his orders to bring him what items he'd need.

"Once we infiltrate the Flower district, we first have to look for my wives. I'll be looking around for information on the demon as well." he explained, once they sat down to eat.

"THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE!" Zenitsu exploded.

"Huuuh?"

"Please, just stop joking around! Don't use your subordinates to look for personal brides! The Demon Slayers Corps aren't a matchmaking service!"

"Huuuh? You're misunderstanding something."

"No, I'm not. So I'm just going to say it harshly," he shouted, ignoring Tanjirou's attempts to stop him, "weird ass people like you will never be popular! However, you're telling us Demon Hunters that you want a bride!"

"You damn foooool! My wives infiltrated the Red Light District in order to collect information on the demon! Our regular contact was cut off, so now I'm going too!" Uzui-san shouted back.

'Ah.' Tanjirou realised why he didn't reply after his comment earlier.

"That's all in your head there, right? That's the weird fantasy you tell yourself?" Zenitsu said after a moment, Tanjirou still trying to get Zenitsu to sit back down and calm down.

"You shitty brat!" Uzui-san threw wads of letters as projectiles towards Zenitsu, "Here are all the letters that were sent to me via crow!"

Tanjirou picked a few up.

"There sure are a lot. Has she been in there for a long time?" he asked, assuming he had sent only one of the three.

"I have three wives." Uzui-san grumbled.

"THREE WIVES?! TH-THREE?! YOU…YOU BASTARD! WHY DO YOU HAVE THREE WIVES?! HOW CAN YOU HAVE THREE WIVES?! CUT THE CRAP OUT!" Zenitsu screamed, drowning out Tanjirou's shocked, "You sent all three of them?!"

Uzui-san punched Zenitsu in the stomach, knocking him out.

"Any other complains?" Uzui-san looked at Tanjirou and Inosuke murderously.

"Uhm… In the letters, they remind you multiple times to do your best not to stand out, but…how are we going to do this?" Tanjirou asked.

"Well, we're gonna use disguises, of course. And, as much as I hate the idea, be plain. You guys just have to do a certain something, then infiltrate for your mission." he said, "My three wives are top of the line kunoichi, female ninja. We believe that the Flower District is an ideal place for demons to lurk. When I infiltrated as a customer, I couldn't find any traces of demons, so for that reason, we went a bit deeper than mere customers." the Sound Pillar explained, "We've narrowed the number of suspicious stores down to three. So you guys will look for my wives there and gather intel." he said, "Suma in the 'Tokito' House. Makio in the 'Ogimoto' House. And Hinatsuru in the 'Kyougoku' House." he raised a finger at each set of names.

"Aren't your wives dead already?" Inosuke asked, picking his nose.

Tanjirou blanched beside him, shocked by his friend's lack of tact and manners.

Uzui-san punched him in the stomach, leaving him on top of Zenitsu, unconscious as well.

There was a knock on the door.

"We brought the necessary items." the head of house said, with a smile, as his wife and child looked inside curious.

"Thanks." Uzui-san replied.

And that was how they ended up in this mess.

Tanjirou sighed, when he noticed how utterly rubbish the cover up was.

"Here." he said, taking charge.

"You know how to use make up?" Uzui-san sounded genuinely surprised.

"I have two sisters and Kanae and Shinobu lived with us for a while." Tanjirou said, "First off, Inosuke has a naturally feminine face, he's fine as he is." he started explaining, "And if you 'sell' ugly girls while you look like that, people will be suspicious."

He makes a good job.

He is worried about Suma-san, Makio-san and Hinatsuru-san, he knew them, had trained with them once or twice – they were often out on information gathering for Uzui-san after all.

"Before we start, these are my familiars." he said, presenting two mice, "They are trained and can carry your swords to you. They'll hide your swords at your respective houses. You'll contact me through them, as well. If you find something, arrange a meeting the next morning, before work starts."

"Okay." the three nodded, handing their swords over.

And with that, they got dressed and left.