I had been avoiding Anakin relentlessly ever since the near-kiss three days ago. I was quiet at dinner, our banter was non-existent and even Padme had begun to notice the tension crackling between the pair of us. I could tell my self-imposed distance was hurting Anakin but I couldn't find myself alone with him again - the risk was far too great and besides, I didn't trust myself. Part of me wanted to confide in Padme, my newfound friend, but even this, I feared, was too much to divulge. This wasn't just a crush, not just a passing phase - this was treachery against the very oath I had sworn as a small child, an oath that had since defined my life.

So when the senator suggested a picnic in the countryside, I immediately concurred and soon the three of us found ourselves sitting in the middle of a hilly meadow overflowing with luscious fragrant flowers. There was also a herd of Shaaks grazing just in the distance. Behind them lie the broad sparking blue lake, the sun shimmering on the warm waters. It was...peaceful.

Padme was absentmindedly picking flowers at her feet and twining them together to create beautiful bracelets while I was merely ripping grass out of the ground, dirt spraying across my boots as I did. I had long since ditched the dresses Padme loaned me - they clearly had a negative effect on men. Tuning back into the conversation, I decided to jump in and attempt to mend the rift that had sprung up between Anakin and I.

Padme blushed furiously, not wanting to admit who her first crush had been, "I don't know..."

"Sure you do... you just don't want to tell me," Anakin countered with an arched eyebrow, seeming uncharacteristically blasé about the subject.

"Are you going to use one of your Jedi mind tricks on me?"

"They only work on the weak-minded,"

Padme made a slight face before sighing, "All right... I was twelve. His name was Palo. We were both in the Legislative Youth Program. He was a few years older than I... very cute... dark curly hair... dreamy eyes,"

I 'ooh'ed at this before waving a hand, "You have to watch out for those, though. Attractive but heartbreaking. Trust me, been there, done that,"

My comment seemed to rankle Anakin as he replied tartly, "All right, I get the picture...whatever happened to him?"

"I went into public service. He went on to become an artist,"

"Maybe he was the smart one,"

"You really don't like politicians, do you?" Padme asked, arching an eyebrow.

Leaning over to her slightly, I confessed, "He gets that from Obi-Wan,"

Anakin ignored this jibe and replied, "I like two or three, but I'm not really sure about one of them,"

They shared a look before both broke into smiles, glancing away. A sharp pang of jealousy shot through me but I shook it off.

"I don't think the system works," Anakin admitted seriously then.

Padme leaned back on her elbows as she watched him, "How would you have it work?"

"We need a system where the politicians sit down and discuss the problems, agree what's in the best interest of all the people...and then do it,"

"That is exactly what we do. The trouble is that people don't always agree,"

"Like Anakin and I when we eat out with Obi-Wan at Dex's Diner," I mumbled sarcastically.

"Well, then they should be made to," Anakin continued the political conversation.

I nodded along with his statement, "It's radical thinking yet I have to agree. Anything that's meant to benefit the community in some way must be unanimously decided and acted upon. But when unanimity cannot be reached then force may be necessary in those circumstances,"

Padme looked over at the both of us in clear surprise, "By whom? Who's going to make them?"

Anakin shrugged, "I don't know. Someone,"

"You?"

"Of course not me,"

"But someone,"

"Someone wise," Anakin added.

"That sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me," Padme dismissed with distaste.

A mischievous grin tugged at the corners of Anakin's plump pink lips, "Well, if it works..."

Padme stared at him a moment in pure disbelief before his own serious face melted into a smile.

The senator smiled as well, shaking her head, "You're making fun of me,"

"Oh no, I'd be much too frightened to tease a senator." Anakin shot back sarcastically with a grin.

We fell into an amiable silence before Padme, tilting back her head to observe me, posed the question, "And how about you, Jet? Ani? Who were your first crushes? Surely that's not attachment,"

I had entertained several illicit flings with humanoids and aliens alike yet all the same I could practically feel the blush creeping up my throat and cheeks, flaming my olive skin a light scarlet as the thought flitted through my mind at the possibility of Padme's having overheard our conversation on the cargo ship. A cough emitted from between my lips and covering it, I shook my head.

"Yeah, I have no idea who my first crush was - too long ago now," I waved off her question casually.

She arched one sculpted eyebrow with an expression that screamed 'seriously?'. I held her gaze defiantly, pressing my lips into a hard line of silence. But Padme was too kind to push the matter any further and instead, turned her penetrating gaze on Anakin.

Making a face, he shrugged dismissively, "I can't remember, either. I must've been too young."

The obvious answer hung in the air between us like a suffocating secret, making my stomach twist into uncomfortable knots. Padme, realizing this, glanced over at me once before letting the subject drop. The rest of the day continued smoothly as Anakin and I laughingly played with the Shaak babies before in true Skywalker-fashion, he used the Force to propel himself onto the back of one of the adult creatures.

His feet wobbled and a laugh escaped his mouth at his near-loss of balance. The sun lit up his features and I was stunned by just how handsome he looked in that moment, totally carefree and in his element without the rules and regulations of the Jedi bearing down on us like back in Coruscant. He was...beautiful in every single sense of the word.

It was only then that I noticed Padme watching me with a small smile tugging at her lips. I flushed crimson and glanced away, deciding in that moment to join Anakin in his antics. Even as children we had been competitive and after all, I couldn't be outdone. Using the Force to propel myself upward as he had done, I landed on the soft back of the Shaak unsteadily. Sharing a grin with Anakin, the first in a while, I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up from my throat and spilled from my lips. Excitement raced through my veins as the Shaak began to trot forward, moving us along.

I could hear Padme laughing at us in the distance as she watched. Too caught up in the moment, I had failed to notice one of my boots slipping until it was far too late. A tiny cry of surprise burst free from my lips when I fell head over heels into the grass, my dark hair flying in all directions as the Shaak dumped me unceremoniously on the hard ground. I groaned when the creature trampled over me before sauntering away. My mischievous mind began to whirl then as an idea formed. Instead of moving to get up, I pretended to lie there in the grass with my arms bent at odd angles.

"Jetta? Jetta!" Anakin shouted, fear coursing through his voice as he called out.

I heard him jump down from his own Shaak before racing towards me, his feet moving impossibly fast with his Jedi reflexes. He was by my side and on his knees in the grass in moments, gentle as he began to turn me over.

"Please, please, please..." I thought I heard him murmur in concern.

But as my face met the sunlight, a giggle escaped unbidden and Anakin shook his head at me. With a roll of his eyes and a smile beginning to light up his lovely features, he pushed me slightly before we began to roll down the hill. The giggles had melted into full-blown laughter at this point from the both of us before finally, we landed at the bottom of the hill. Padme was no longer in sight and we found ourselves totally and utterly alone.

His face was mere inches from my own, warm breath fanning my face when the realization came over me that Anakin was on top of me, his legs straddling my own while his hands rested in the grass just above my shoulders. I could feel the heat emanating from the nearness of his body, see every swirl and fleck of blue in his cerulean gaze and it made me want him even more than I had before.

There was desire lurking behind those eyes, an expression I had never seen him direct at anyone before - not even Padme. A welcome shiver raced down my spine at the thought. Anakin began to lean down closer to me then, eyes beginning to shut, plump lips almost brushing mine when...

I shoved him aside and he was dumped onto the grass beside me. Guilt bubbled up inside of me at the forbidden thoughts within my head, thoughts I knew I shouldn't be having. Picking myself up off the ground, I dusted off my tunic before striding away in search of Padme, leaving Anakin with his own thoughts.