(Highland Mall, Two Months Later)

"Cool." Butthead muttered to himself as he sauntered past the beaded strands which had been hung in the entranceway of Adler's Novelties. While the array of suggestive t-shirts, lava lamps and alcohol/weed related paraphernalia tickled his fancy, it was the store's rear section that called to him like the sirens of old; along one section of the wall hung erotic hosiery and costumes, keychains which when pressed emitted the sounds of a woman having an orgasm, blow up dolls, vibrators, dildos, flesh lights, lubes of all flavors, beginner's bondage sets, and more.

Clearly, the Land of Milk and Honey for any sex-starved adolescent.

Looking around the room for a moment, Butthead zeroes in on a pair of cute blonde girls rifling through the markdown shelf. Both were clearly in college, as evidenced by their practically skintight shorts which bore the crest of a nearby establishment of higher learning coupled with their equally form-fitting and midriff bearing hoodies advertising their sorority. The one with the darker hair had a tongue piercing (which glistened and gleamed as she blew a raspberry after her friend made a comment in jest about her prudish nature).

"Yes...huh, huh…come to Butthead."

Finally, the girls grabbed their intended purchases (a full size bubble lamp with plastic recreations of aquarium fish, some disposable neon colored shot glasses, an erotic party game, and a comically large bag of gummy candies in the shape of a phallus) before making their way to the cashier. Knowing they would pass his way, Butthead leaned against the t-shirts and made his move after emitting his signature guttural guffaw.

"Uh…Hey Baby. Wanna like…go someplace else and…uh, let me feel your boobs?"

Apart from a disgusted grunt, the girls paid Butthead no mind as they paid for their goods and made their way towards the exit. He sprints in some attempt at catching up with them and shooting his shot again, only for a burly staff member to block him off, thus allowing the pair of them to leave the store unbothered.

"Whatta you want Butthole?"

"Look pal." He says curtly. "The staff and I have gotten more than an earful from our female shoppers about you and your equally brain-dead friend lurking around and bothering them. So I'm gonna make it clear; if either of you step foot in here again, we call security."

As the associate escorted Butthead out, another put up a warning in the window with the words 'KEEP OUT' superimposed over their portraits and a small summary of why such a notice exists. Casting a rueful glance at the bawdy boutique, he shuffles away to sit by the giant fountain.

(At the food court, upper level)

"The nachos here rule!"

Setting down two orders of the Fiesta Supreme Cheese-a-saurus Pizza Nachos from Burrito Baron, Beavis and Glennis begin to dig in, naturally while she eats with decorum, her date scarfs them down like there was no tomorrow. While any other human would blanche in revulsion at this beastly spectacle, the blue haired girl gave a small smile. However, in some feeble attempt at table manners, Beavis suppressed a belch that under other circumstances would have been released with abandon followed by a lip smack and satisfied sigh.

The past two months had been a whirlwind courtship for the two of them; still clearly in the honeymoon phase, Beavis and Glennis elected to spend this day aimlessly bumming about the mall. As far as any other patron was concerned, the two of them were inconspicuous from any other young couple…save for the occasional impulsive eccentric expression of the boy in blue; such as making "boing" noises at the mannequins outside the Clandestine Catherine's lingerie store or scarfing down a sample tray of caramels and going on a Cornholio bender that ended with him close to frolicking through the giant fountain.

But unbeknownst all, mitigating Beavis's outbursts were a pair of luminescent and toga-clad life forms who despite their appearance and attire went unnoticed as they chaperoned the two love birds (thanks to some intergalactic technology that made them perceptible as humans to those about them). For the past two months it had been like this for them, serving as a leash to the socially stymied lad as he navigated through the uncharted waters of high school dating. But as they sat some tables over from Beavis and Glynnis as they engaged in lunch, the topic turned to where they were to go from here.

"…your investment in our carbon-based counterpart's attempts at scoring is noble Smart Beavis, but all things must end if there is to truly be a new beginning."

"Oh…oh yeah, I think I heard these sentiments expressed in a popular song once."

"Indeed. That song was of poor quality." Smart Butthead remarked as he took a sip of his soda.

"Eh, I don't know Smart Butthead." Smart Beavis replied. "It's annoyingly sentimental at certain points, but then you get those days where…like, you just get it."

"That's cause you're a wuss." Smart Butthead said flatly before throwing his cup at the trashcan. It goes in. "Huh. I just scored."

"Heh. Heh. Heh. Yeah. Heh. Heh. Cool."

The two of them pause for a minute to watch Glennis lovingly wipe the nacho residue from Beavis' mouth.

"Levity aside, a time must come where Beavis will stand on his own." Smart Butthead remarked before his voice suddenly turned fearful. "And we must account for ourselves to the Empress."

"I must heartily concur Smart Butthead…and something tells me this moment of fledging will come sooner rather than later. Look below us."

(By the Fountain, Lower Level)

"Well, this sucks."

Kicking an empty cup as he strolls about aimlessly on the first floor of the mall, Butthead's brow furrows in deep frustration over being exiled from Adler's Novelties all of ten minutes ago. Yet this ostracism cut something of a hole in his dense disposition, and once his dormant thinking skills whirred and creaked for a while, the barely evolved boy with the brown hair stopped in his tracks and inquired to himself thusly:

"Where the hell did Beavis go?"

The party had slowly become a memory and in that time, Beavis had become increasingly distant. Where once the two of them wasted away the hours riffing on stupid music/internet videos or engaging in malignant shenanigans, such pursuits now instead have become solitary endeavors on Butthead's part. And now with mind no longer burdened with where else in the mall was he going to score with hot chicks now that Adler's gave him the boot, this nagging feeling began to take its place.

From the corner of his eye, Butthead sees the two girls from earlier emerge from a Scrub and Skin Shoppe. With a libidinous chortle, he watches them take the escalator to the mall's second level and make a bee line to the food court. As they disappear into the crowd, Butthead makes out a vaguely familiar hairdo among the patrons enjoying their respective meals.

"No way."

Ascending the moving stairway, Butthead's suspicions are all but confirmed as he sees Glennis wipe the last of Beavis' lunch off his face. His eyes briefly widen in shock as she and the blonde boy share a smooch before going to toss away their garbage and freshen up in the women's room.

"Pfft. Beavis you wuss."

Beavis turns around to see Butthead leaning against one of the other trash receptacles. Something in the boy's guttural sniggering triggers irritation.

"Don't tell me this is why you haven't been around all that often." He continued before the slight shadow of realization dawns weakly on him. "Wait…wasn't she the weird misery chick who burned the school down?"

From the corner of his eye, Beavis sees Glennis stepping out of the bathroom. Even amidst the daily soundtrack of mallgoers going about their dealings, Butthead's words still manage to cut at her, and the sight of Glennis' crestfallen countenance seems to be like gas on the fire.

"Damn it, Butt-Head!" He snapped with a slam of his fist on the table. "I finally found someone, and you're jealous!"

"'I have feelings, Blue-haired girl, wuh-heh-heh, let's hold hands. Wuh-heh-heh.' You're a weirdo with another weirdo because you can't score like me."

"SHUT UP, BUTT-HEAD!"

Before Butthead could register what was happening, Beavis lunges like a hungry lion at the brown haired boy and pins him to the ground, repeatedly kneeing him in the nads.

"Her! Name! is! Glennis!" He shouts after doling out four particularly potent foursome of thrusts to the genitals of his former friend.

"Dude, settle down." Someone called out from the food court.

"No!" Beavis said bringing his balled-up hands into tremoring fists. "I won't settle down! Not this time! Dammit! This always happens! I'm always this guy's butt-monkey! Always getting slapped around. Always insulting me. Always getting kicked in the nads, stung by wasps, and having fishing hooks in my mouth! Well…well no more! I'm tired of you weighing me down!"

As a swelling sensation gripped Beavis' chest, he stood triumphantly atop one of the tables.

"Glennis…I…I may not have said so before…but… well, if I had to score with some chick forever, you're the chick I'd do so with. You're like the cheese on the nachos of my life or something! And if nachos have no cheese, what's the point of anything...well, I guess…what I'm saying is…"

The girl in question stood by the restroom entrance, tears of joy flowing from her eyes as her lips curl into a relieved smile.

"I love you too Beavis." She whispered to herself.

This was it; the moment that had kept Glennis afloat and sane amidst all those years of institutionalization, court-ordered therapy, and a whole buffet of antipsychotic drugs spanning at least five alphabetical systems. But even if Beavis' proclamation may not have been worthy of a Hallmark card, the sentiment remained crystal clear.

It was endearing.

It was brash.

It was him.

"Glennis...I...I...Yaaaaagggghhh!"

And it was also an easy way to get security to tackle one to the ground and shock you with their electric batons.

While many a normal maiden would have shuffled away in mortification from such a spectacle, Glennis instead leaves the mall alongside the trio of mall cops and Beavis (who at present is more of a drooling and mentally fried mess than he was normally). With some semblance of order restored, Butthead continued to stare intently at the rest of the food court's patrons while processing the last few minutes and all that transpired therein. A lifetime long friendship gone to smoke…and over a girl. Such a situation happened in storybooks and songs from the sirens of old. Perhaps even in brainless slice-of-life buddy comedies…but not the real world, right?

He had lost the cherry on his sundae.

The foam off his root beer.

But instead, the Butthead gave a disinterested shrug and walked away. But not before casting one detached glance at the food court and saying to nobody in particular…

"Pfft. Whatever. Butt Munch."

Taking advantage of everyone watching the train wreck before them, Smart Beavis and Smart Butthead agreed that their work in playing silent wingmen to the former's earth counterpart had run its course. They would now return to the citadel where no doubt an ass-chewing would be in store for disrupting the fabric of this particular reality…but they knew that going in, and realized the music must be faced.