Chapter 17: Aftermath

The ride to the hospital was quiet, quieter than Mustang would have anticipated. The nurses seemingly had little to ask him, and simply worked to place an IV and do what they needed for Edward.

The silence was thick, suffocating. Despite the loud panic that consumed him and the urgency of the situation, Mustang could feel himself choking on the stillness in the air. Ed laid on the stretcher in front of him, his face still and serene. He'd have looked peaceful, if not for the underlying distress.

Mustang sighed and hung his head, listening to the nurses move throughout the vehicle as they passed buildings and streets. Not once did he let go of Edward's hand, even when they were placing the catheter. He knew the nurses were likely irritated with him, but he would face a firing squad before letting Edward down.

Again.

Guilt met the silence with a cascading wave, and Roy was quick to blink away the tears that had threatened to trickle down. There would be plenty of time for that later, when he wasn't Colonel Mustang escorting his subordinate to the public eye.

Would all of this have happened if he'd been able to catch up to him? If he'd managed to stop him, console him?

Roy let out a deep sigh and his free hand came to gingerly feel around his swollen nose. Ed hadn't wanted Mustang to catch up to him.

Even though he knew what awaited him.

He wondered if Hawkeye would get there when they did, if they were able to get Alphonse released from his unholy crucifix on the wall. Roy shuddered with the image, knowing it would join Ishval to haunt him when his mind wandered at night.

He wondered if Hohenheim would try to escape, or if he would continue to try and justify his actions, turning whomever he could to his web of lies.

He wondered if Ed was going to ever resemble ok, if he made it through this. Mustang had wanted Hohenheim to be lying through his teeth with every word he spoke, but he'd seen the crumpled letters on the floor as the medics ushered Ed from the room. There had been threads of truth amidst the laced façade.

Would Edward have really followed through with it?

What would they have done if he had?

What would they tell Al, the team?

What would the future look like without him?

Mustang shook his head to clear the haunting thoughts, his hands shaking where he still gripped Ed's with iron. He was still alive, still breathing, still with them. It didn't do him any good to mull over what could have been.

"We'll be there soon sir," one of the nurses said to him as they continued to monitor Edward, ensuring his stability.

Mustang could do nothing more than nod curtly, his gaze quickly returning to where Ed's chest rose and fell.

He was alive.

He was alive.

Hawkeye parked the car hastily, not caring how in line it may be. It was uncharacteristic of her, but the situation at hand was more pressing than a good parking job.

She helped Alphonse out of the car, wincing slightly at the creak of his metal against the car door. She cared little for the vehicle, but knew Alphonse had only recently been patched back together. Cold rain hit her uniform, and she prayed that it didn't find its way inside Al's armor.

If something happened to him too…Riza shook her head and ushered Al to the hospital doors.

They were met quickly with staff who took in Riza's uniform and the hulking suit of armor and instructed them to follow. Roy had to have informed them of their impending arrival.

They wandered through the maze of hallways and white walls, anxiety bubbling up the longer they spent walking until it reached a near boil when they saw Roy.

He was sitting outside one of the rooms, head in his hands and gloves discarded on the seat next to him. Riza would have chided him for the careless act, if he hadn't looked so distraught.

"I-is he…" Alphonse spoke first, seeing Roy's dejected appearance and fearing the worst. Mustang was quick to jolt at his voice and stood, wrapping the suit of armor in a tight embrace.

"He's going to be ok," Mustang said, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

"He's going to be ok."

Alphonse's suit quivered, and Hawkeye gulped back tears at the crushing relief that flooded through her. She stepped forward, picking up the discarded gloves and joining in on the hug.

And everything stilled.

For a moment in time, it was just them. A broken, poorly shaped family against the world that had brought them together.

The clock at the end of the hallway ticked away, its droning and dull noise echoing in Mustang's brain. Each click seemingly drove a nail through his ear, until his head ached with the consequences.

They had been waiting for hours, with little to no updates on what was going on. Mustang had been furious they hadn't let him in the room with them, but despite being Ed's legal guardian his lack of blood-connection wasn't enough to allow him in.

He knew it was for the best, he would only get in their way and prolong the measures they needed to take to ensure Edward's life. However, even that knowledge did little to ease the agitation that fueled his restlessness. He'd thought about mentioning to Alphonse that he could probably go in, but he knew Alphonse would likely be better off not seeing some of that.

Riza had asked him to stop pacing about an hour ago, from where she sat on one of the chairs outside the door. Alphonse was sitting next to her, absentmindedly picking apart the golden tassel she had given him off her uniform to keep him occupied.

The request had not gone unnoticed, but after standing still for ten minutes Riza had decided the pacing was less irritating than his steel toes tapping against the tile floors.

His heels clicked against the floor in a chorus, joining the rain that met the roof of the building. It would have been relaxing to sit and listen to it, in different circumstances.

Mustang glanced at Alphonse every so often during his walking, unsure of what to say or if there was anything to say that would help soothe his nerves. He had more reason than any of them to be anxious, concerned, devastated. His world had been turned upside down in less than 24 hours and his brother was in there.

Hell, his world had been destroyed.

Roy didn't know if Alphonse had also seen the crumpled letters, if he'd realized what Edward was about to do. He desperately wanted to ask him what all had happened, how things had gotten to where they were when they' walked in, but knew that this was neither the time nor place for that.

They would talk about it when Al was ready, and again when his brother was as well.

A nurse had emerged from the room at some point, but walked past them quickly in search for someone else. When they returned with another doctor, Roy tried to ask how things were going but was met with an apologetic glance and the door was shut once again.

The waiting continued until the doctor they'd seen brought in stepped out of the room, removing bloodied gloves to discard them in the box near the door.

"I'm terribly sorry for the radio-silence," He started, moving to shake hands with Mustang who had ceased his burning of a trail in the hallway.

"My name is Dr. Marvin Guía, but most people just call me Dr. G. I'm specialized in automail trauma and injury, and was brought in to help on Edward's case."

"Colonel Mustang," Roy turned and waved to Riza and Al who had stood to linger behind him. "This is First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, and Alphonse Elric: Edward's brother."

"Greetings," Dr. Guía said with a smile.

"I know it isn't customary, but I am his legal guardian. We have staff members on their way down here now with the paperwork," Roy was quick to add. "I assure you we are as close to family as he has."

Dr. G gave a light chuckle with that and waved Roy off in a polite but casual manner.

"I'm well aware, as we all are. The triage nurses gave us the rundown and your staff members have already called to inform us of that. You needn't worry Colonel," Dr. G. said. "We all appreciate you being here for him."

The doctor eyed his face for a moment, and Roy suddenly remembered the wall that had rushed to greet him earlier. It had been only a few hours ago, but it felt like weeks.

"I'll make sure someone brings you something for that," he said, hands motioning to Roy's face.

"But I'm sure you're all anxiously awaiting news so I'll jump to it."

"Edward is doing well, all things considered. Three of his ribs are broken and he has significant abdominal trauma. There's likely some internal bruising and hemorrhage, but nothing to warrant surgical intervention at the time. His body should take care of the internal healing with time, rest, and proper nutrition."

Roy let out the breath he'd been holding tightly in his chest, relieved but solemn.

"He has several lacerations that have been stitched up, many crossing his back and a particularly gnarly one across his chest. It seemed to have been agitated, but he's lucky it wasn't any deeper than it was. He'd lost quite a bit of blood, but has received a unit since being here to help. His skull doesn't appear fractured in any way, but he does have signs of head trauma and likely has a concussion."

"Is he awake right now?" Alphonse chimed in, fingers still pulling at the tassel's strands with anxious fervor.

"Not yet; he was given an anesthetic and pain medication initially but started to come to while we were stitching him up, and was further sedated for his and our safety. He should be waking up within the hour."

Alphonse nodded, retreating back to stand just behind Mustang and Hawkeye, not that either of them were tall enough to truly hide him from view.

Mustang spared a glance at Riza who met his eyes and nodded, taking in everything the doctor had told them.

"You said you were an automail specialist, how…how is it?" Roy dared ask, knowing the state it was in when he'd seen him lifeless on the floor.

Bent out of shape, metal pieces broken and twisted. As if someone had crushed it with their hand and tried to pull it off.

"Yes, of course." Dr G. gave them a sympathetic smile and ushered them back toward where they were sitting. "You may want to sit down for this."

Mustang felt the blood drain from his face, and the harsh clunk of automail collapsing in the seat told him Alphonse was feeling similar shock. He shakily sat next to Alphonse, watching from the corner of his eye as Hawkeye grabbed Alphonse's leather hand with a supportive squeeze.

"His automail is, for the most part destroyed. I'm afraid it's unlikely there's any chance in repairing it for future use, and I recommend getting an entirely new unit produced and fitted for him. I'm no mechanic, however, so if you know the mechanic who's been servicing him I would give them a call first. They'll know more about the hardware than me."

The doctor sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his hand. His glasses creaked with the movement until they rested comfortably as his hand was removed.

"His arm, or shoulder, I'm afraid is much worse for wear. Whatever happened to his automail was extremely traumatic and painful. The automail works by forming connections to Edward's nerves in order to provide movement and functionality. The damage this piece saw, it's likely his nerves were damaged from the trauma and injury of it all."

"What…what are you saying doctor?" Roy asked, his hands aching from where his nails were pressing into his palms from worry.

"There's a chance that the damage was severe enough that his nerves will never recover, not enough to form another connection to an automail piece again."

Alphonse let out a choked gasp, and Riza squeezed his glove even harder as her other hand came to rest on his forearm. Roy felt his voice freeze in the back of his throat, and had to fight just to get something, anything, out.

"Is…what are…w-what does that mean?"

"I'm afraid Edward may never be able to wear automail prosthetics on his arm again."

Roy tried to say more but choked, his voice dying in his throat. He tried to imagine Edward without his automail, without his ability to do alchemy the way he'd become accustomed to. Edward, having to spend the rest of his life living with the pain that the person that had taken so much from him took away his lifestyle.

"It's not for certain, however, and Edward seems like a tough kid. There is still a chance that his body can handle it down the road, even if the chances are slim."

Mustang nodded, looking to Riza to say something where he was falling short.

"What do you think Doctor?" Riza asked, her voice softer than normal but still strong, steady.

Dr. Guía opened his mouth to respond but froze, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as he sat in thought.

"Do you think he has that chance?"

The doctor nodded slowly, then faster with more certainty.

"I do. I don't know his full story, but I have my suspicions. He seems like a fighting type, and if he's truly a State Alchemist as I've been told, then he has more of a chance than anyone of making a full recovery. However, it will take extensive time and care. His body is not currently in the condition to support more automail than necessary I'm afraid. Frankly, it's a miracle that it was functioning at all with how emaciated he is."

"What-what do you mean?"

Alphonse had been quiet, sitting in shock and taking everything in. His voice quivered now, with fear and with pain.

"I'm not sure how to say this lightly Mr. Elric, but your brother is severely underweight, and is going to need a slow transition back to ensure he gets the nutrition he needs to support himself and his automail. Automail is extremely taxing on the body, and requires a greater nutrient intake than a normal growing boy would need."

"Oh," Alphonse said with a slow nod, hanging his head to once more focus on the tassel in his hands. It resembled a husk of corn now, frayed and torn at the edges with no real definition. Mustang made a note to get a new one for Riza…when things calmed down a bit.

The doctor turned as the door opened and the rest of the nurses and staff in the room dispersed, leaving Edward's door ajar. One of the nurses motioned to Dr. G. and he gave a short wave before turning back to the solemn trio.

"I'm afraid I have other matters to attend to, but I assure you I will be following up with Edward and doing whatever I can to help his healing process go smoothly. You three are welcome to wait in the room with him, we don't normally allow more than two at a time but I think that an exception can be made," He said with a wink. "If you need anything at all, there's a button next to Edward's bed that will alert the nurses, but one of them will be by later to check on him as well."

Mustang stood, reaching out to shake the doctor's hand once more.

"Thank you, I can't begin to thank you enough for everything you've done for him. For us."

"Of course, I'll do all that I can." Dr. Guía gave them a kind smile before turning and following the nurse down the hallway, likely to another patient needing his assistance.

Mustang helped Hawkeye and Alphonse to their feet as the three of them were quick to usher into the small room. Roy could see why they limited to two usually, but he wasn't about to talk poorly on the doctor's compassionate gesture.

"Oh," Alphonse said with a weak warble, laying soul fire eyes on Edward resting on the hospital bed.

The white sheets nearly swallowed him up, and he looked so much more like the child he was. The child he was when Roy came to recruit him all those years ago, and the child he still was despite everything, despite what was expected of him.

His automail arm had been removed and was sitting on a small table to the right of the bed. Roy couldn't bear to look at it, for fear he would be physically sick. The metal port across Ed's torso was all that remained of what used to be, and Roy wondered what would become of it if he never was able to connect automail to it again.

Thick white bandages covered his arms and the rest of his chest, likely where the stitches and wounds were. A thick brace was wrapping his lower chest, to support his broken ribs.

Despite the severity of the wounds, and the obvious trauma he'd been through, it was his fragility that really shocked Roy. His arms were thin, and Roy knew that if he could see his skin under the bandages, his ribs would be poking through angrily. His face was sunken and heavy bags rested under his eyes.

Gone was the Fullmetal Alchemist they'd come to know, the fierce boy who didn't hesitate to throw hands with anyone who looked at him funny. The spitfire who never understood what an indoor voice was, whose foul mouth and loud personality made him seem older than he really was.

Roy felt Riza grip his hand with a squeeze, and when he turned to look at her, she had rivers flowing down the sides of her face in a silent sorrow.

She didn't have to say anything for him to understand, and for the pain they shared to be left exposed in the hospital room.

Ed resembled the children of Ishval, starved and destroyed and on the last legs of life. The children that haunted his memories, his sleep, his every waking moment. Roy regretted every part of that war, wished he could go back and change things, erase the memories that clung to him stronger than his own shadow.

"This is all my fault…" Alphonse started, collapsing to kneel beside his brother's bed as he grabbed his remaining hand gently, as if holding too hard would shatter it.

"Alphonse-"

"No!" Al cried, "It's my fault, I should have known everything was too good to be true. That dad…Hohenheim wasn't who he said he was, who I wanted him to be. I knew Ed was suffering, hiding things, I was just too blind and dumb to see what was going on. What-what I…what I needed to do…"

The room fell silent as Al cried tears that would never come.

Riza was quick to kneel beside him and place a hand over his, and over Edward's. She leaned until her head rested on his metal shoulder, crying for him the tears he so desperately wanted to shed.

"We all blame ourselves Alphonse," she sniffled. "I won't tell you to stop blaming yourself, because I know that there will always be a part of you that does. Just like for me, and for Roy, there will forever be parts of us that harbor guilt over this."

Roy stepped forward until he was at the end of the bed, gripping the edge with shaking hands.

"But know that you aren't alone in this Al. Ed isn't alone in this. We'll all get through this together and take things one step at a time. There is only pain to come from crying over what could have been, all we can do is move forward with what is. You're here, Ed's here, and right now that's all that matters."

Alphonse ducked his head and gave a shaky nod, his thumb moving in slow circles over Ed's pale skin.

Riza's eyes met Roy's and he gave a sorrowful frown. They were going to need a lot of time, a lot of help, to get both of them through this. To get all of them through this.

Roy wanted to move closer, to be with Edward, and Al, and Riza, but something kept his feet cemented at the end of the bed. He didn't know how Riza could be so strong throughout all of this, could support Alphonse, when he knew she was shattering inside from reliving all of this.

After what her father had done to her, he couldn't imagine how traumatic this was. The memories it had to bring back to the surface, the fears she was reliving.

Yet somehow, she was pushing that aside to be here for Alphonse, and for Ed.

He found comfort in her strength, and her resilience. It was what kept him grounded after the war, and what kept him grounded as he tried to process everything that was going on today. It was one of the many things he loved about her, though he still had yet to have the heart to tell her so.

The bed creaked and Mustang jolted to gaze upon the frail alchemist. Edward's body shifted every so slightly, and his eyes slowly blinked open with a wince at the overhead lights.

"E-Ed!" He remarked, "We didn't expect you awake for another half an hour or so."

Ed didn't seem to have heard him, his eyes lazily flittering around the room. They were glossy and unfocused, and Roy watched as his gaze settled on Riza and Alphonse.

"A-Al?" He rasped, his voice heavy with sleep. Dried blood was caked on his chin from where he'd spit up blood when Hohenheim kicked him.

"I'm here Ed, I'm n-not going anywhere."

Ed nodded, glancing around the room as if looking for someone.

"He's not here, don't worry," Roy stated. Ed's golden eyes turned to rest on him for a moment before his face twisted up with pain and his eyes widened.

"Shit, Riza he's-"

Edward barely made it to the side of the bed before expelling everything that was in his stomach. He coughed and choked as blood and bile pooled on the floor.

Riza was quick to jump up, gently grabbing his frizzled hair and rubbing circles on his back.

Roy found his feet and came to stand beside Alphonse, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder. He didn't know if Alphonse could feel it, but he knew the kid would understand what he was trying to portray.

Ed blinked back tears as he struggled to regain his breath. Every part of him screamed in pain and protest, and his vision went in and out of focus as he hung there with his head over the bed.

He knew someone was next to him, talking to him in a soft voice and holding his hair. His head ached, and he feared if he glanced up at who it was, he'd pass out.

He knew he was in a hospital of some sorts, though how he got there he wasn't sure. His memories were foggy and fractured, and he didn't have the energy to try and piece them together.

After what seemed like an eternity, Ed was able to catch his breath. The figure next to him remained the entire time, and Ed felt his eyes drooping closed with exhaustion.

"Let's get you back in bed," Riza said, helping move him slowly until he was rolled onto his back once more. His head hit the soft pillow and he let out a content sigh.

"Thnnks Mom," Ed slurred, the gentle hands of sleep pulling him down once more.

Riza froze, her hands gripping the edge of the thin hospital blanket as she moved to tuck him in. Her mouth gaped as she tried to figure out what to say, how to respond to something like that.

"S-sleep well," she settled on, pulling the blanket over his chest to rest below his chin. She didn't think he'd heard her, sleep consuming him as soon as his head met the pillow.

She felt a light touch on her shoulder, and turned to see Roy handing her a damp handkerchief. She took it and wiped the blood from Ed's mouth gently. The room started to smell of iron, and Riza was thankful she didn't get queasy easily.

A nurse came in later and helped clean up, letting them know this was to be expected with the extent of his injuries. She pulled out an oxygen mask and slipped it over his face, just to be on the safe side.

The room was quiet once again after she left. Riza was stoic but Roy could tell what Ed had said was getting to her. Mustang stood next to her, holding an ice pack the nurse had given him up to his nose. The cold stung, but was a welcomed pain.

Roy's eyes drifted to Alphonse, who was sitting silently next to his brother in the chair he'd moved next to the bed. It was hard to get a read on the suit of armor, but Roy knew Alphonse was hurting.

He's just a kid, Roy had to remind himself. Just a kid who witnessed his father tearing into his brother.

Just a kid, who was now feeling the crushing guilt of realizing this had been going on for months while he was right there, oblivious to it.

Just a kid, who's childhood was bartered for his life, for his soul.

Tears bubbled up at the corners of his vision, and Roy let out a shaky breath. His composure was failing, all the tears he'd forced away in the last few hours returning at full force. They trickled down his cheeks in a silent stream, Roy powerless to stop it.

Rain continued to dance on the windowsill outside, tapping the glass with a soft patter. Roy nearly scoffed at the irony of it all.

Through blurred vision he barely registered Riza turning and pulling him into a tight embrace, his hands on autopilot as they gripped the back of her uniform to return the gesture.

A wet spot formed on his chest where Riza's face was buried, but he paid it no mind. Tears dripped slowly from his face, and he took in quivering gasp before resting his forehead on her shoulder.

For the second time today the world stilled, and everything faded to silence.

And this time, this time they wept.

A/N: I'm ashamed at how long it's taken me to continue this, but I'm committed to seeing it through properly. This story means so much to me, and I owe it to myself and all of you to take my time and do it justice, rather than hastily bringing it to an end point to be done. Because of that it took me much longer than intended, but I'm glad I was able to get some of it out before the new year (barely haha). I revisited my outline for it and made some edits to reflect where things have gone, so that I have an easier time working through it all.

I'm still in awe at how many of you are continuing to read, to comment, to support this. Even though it's been radio-silent for over a year, you continue to amaze and humble me with your compassion and patience. I can't begin to thank you all enough, for sticking by me and waiting as I work through this. I still have a good bit I want to portray before the final chapters, but I know once we get there it will be a truly bittersweet ending.

Thank you again, as always. I know this chapter is a little more "setting things up" than the intense action it follows, but hopefully it is enjoyable nonetheless.