"I want to cry for you,
I want to hurt instead of you…"
"When You Love Someone"
Day6
The fresh snow outside is probably twinkling in the moonlight, and surely there are servants stopping to look at Camelot's fresh blanket. Merlin can see twinkling, of course, only it's not from the moon or the snow. Instead, the twinkling of Arthur's freshly spilled tears are lighting up in the flickering glow of the only candle that the king has left burning in his room.
A long time has passed since that warm day that Morgana sabotaged Arthur's relationship with Guinevere. He had done all he could in his power to prevent the events that transpired, but Merlin always feels that each step forward is a step in the wrong direction. The idea has been plaguing his thoughts, his dreams, and his fears for many years now; he can't escape it. But this – the king crying in the supposed privacy of his own chambers – is a future he never could have imagined would come to be.
Merlin's own eyes begin to sting, tears threatening his own eyes now. A massive part of him wants to run inside and warp his arms around Arthur, comforting him and showering him with all of the compliments that he forgets to hear. He even lurches forward, just a sliver, believing that he'll take action. Then he's crippled again by the fear of rejection. More than once Arthur has declared the impact and value of their friendship, of Merlin's unwavering loyalty to him, and the trust they have in one another, but the servant cannot believe that the king would accept his efforts without a fight.
So, for as much as Merlin would like end Arthur's pain, take it from him and bear the burden on his own, he knows that this is a battle Arthur must fight on his own. This is the result of many events coming together, so many of which Merlin played and active role. This is simply life, and these are simply consequences.
These tears of the king are just the consequences Merlin must bear.