Chapter Eleven: No Secrets Withheld - Angela
"I live among the creatures of the night - I haven't got the will to try and fight -
Against a new tomorrow, so I guess I'll just believe it" - Laura Branigan (Self Control)
Friday, September 9, 2005 - Monday, September 12, 2005
Isaac was screaming, which meant it was a Friday. He always screamed when mom fed him, he just screamed louder on Friday's when she gave him green peas for breakfast. You would think she would have some compassion for the kid, but she insisted that he get a taste of something nutritious so that he would grow up making healthy choices. My mother, the health teacher.
I crawled out of bed feeling out of it, tired in a way I hadn't felt in months. I wasn't better, but I found the will to try lately, likely because I just couldn't disappoint my parents anymore. Of course this morning was an anomaly, because of Alice's impromptu party. For some reason, Alice insisted on a girl's night. Five hours of talking, manicures, make-overs and an awful sappy movie later and I was exhausted and covered in glitter, makeup and hair spray. At least my nails looked amazing, the rest took me almost half an hour to take off before bed.
It was strange though. Alice had coordinated a special night for no reason that I could tell, on a Thursday evening no less. Not that it mattered, the shower helped wash away the last of my sleepiness, and the promise of eggs and coffee helped get me going. Dad was reading when I sat down for breakfast but put down his book when I did. Mom almost immediately placed a plate of food in front of me. While I loved the omelet, the rubbery turkey bacon and cauliflower hash left something to be desired.
"Any plans this weekend Angela?" Dad asked after taking a sip of coffee.
"Not yet. Although I imagine I'll end up over at Bella's or Alice's at some point." I said with a small smile and a nod, taking a bite of omelet and a large swig of coffee.
"Well, I hope you're not too busy. Your mom and I are going to a function on Sunday in Seattle, and we were hoping you could watch your brothers." He wasn't actually asking, but it was nice of him to imply that I did have a choice.
"Of course, Dad, when are you leaving?" I said between mouthfuls.
"Around noon, we should be back after dinner. I'll leave money for delivery." He said with a smile and looked over at mom. I didn't have to ask where they were going, it was the last week of the month. They always went to Seattle for a 'function' that probably meant a date and things I didn't want to think about.
"I'll be here, I might ask Bella over to study. She's helping me with biology and we're helping each other with Calculus." I didn't need to elaborate; they had never had an issue with Bella coming over. Plus, she was great with the twins.
"Of course, but Edward is not allowed as usual." Mom said over my shoulder. I looked back and rolled my eyes at her.
"I know mom, no boys. You do know I'm not dating him." I finally said, hoping for once they would listen to me about my love life, or lack thereof.
"I've seen the Cullen boy around Bella, and while he acts polite, he may not be a gentleman." Dad said reiterating his opinion that he had voiced the last time Edward and Bella were both over. I hadn't told him they were involved.
"Edward Cullen is an old fashioned kind of guy dad; he is probably more of a gentleman than you are." I could remember Bella's frustration back in July, their complete lack of anything physical had been contentious. I was half expecting for her to have broken up with him, but for some reason she hadn't. I scrunched up my nose and finished up my eggs and coffee. "Sorry, I know the rules. See you tonight!" I got up, kissed Isaac and Joshua goodbye on the way out and grabbed my book bag that I had left by the door.
Getting to school I found an unusually bouncy Bella being unloaded from their van by her father. She waved happily at me before heading off in a different direction to class. Charlie watched her go, then turned to me and smiled.
"Angela, Bella has news. I'm struggling with it." He shook his head.
"Another surgery?" I guessed.
"Yeah, but this one… I don't know. Cullen is convincing, I'll say that." He frowned and closed the van's side door a little too hard. "Sorry, it's been a morning. I'm happy she's happy, but I'm worried."
"She'll probably bring it up at lunch, I'll get details from her later." I nodded. "She'll be okay, she always pulls through."
"I hope you're right." He gave me a tired half smile and got in the van. I waved and went into the school. I was right, at lunch she told us about an experimental surgery that could possibly restore her legs. I knew enough about medicine to know that it sounded too good to be true, but I trusted Doctor Cullen as much as Bella did. On the way to our shared afternoon Calculus class I finally had a chance to ask more probing questions.
"So, this surgery, it sounds weird to me. Is Carlisle sure about this?" I asked with genuine worry. She stopped and looked over at me. Her frown seemed almost forced, as if there was nothing that could sour her mounting excitement. She opened her mouth to say something, but shut it before shaking her head.
"Weird how?" She sounded a touch angry, or maybe indignant about my reaction. Yet, at the same time her shoulders and body language told a different story. Her anger was an act, and I didn't know why.
"I don't know. It sounds almost too good to be true." I said playing along, with a small cock of my head, my face twisted slightly in worry. I loved the idea of something that could help her walk, or fully fix her arm, or most importantly stop the constant pain she had to live with daily.
"I thought as much too, and don't get me started on how long it took to convince Dad. Of course, we could just wait until Tuesday and I could sign the forms myself. But I wanted mom and dad to be a part of this, they have both been so miserable since the crash." Bella's clear enthusiasm and determination lessened my own worries a little, and I allowed a smile.
"It's happening next week. That soon?" I was a bit startled about the timing,
"Monday morning, and it's supposed to be a long one too." She pouted slightly, but it was only a show. After as many surgeries as Bella has gone through, she had developed a rather blasé approach to the process.
"Oh, well I'll make sure mom and dad stay home then. The twins can't take the long waits." I furrowed my brow; I knew they only came to wait to support me anyway.
"You don't have to wait either." She gave me a half smile; our game was simple; she never said the truth about the chance she could die, and I never admitted it was a possibility.
"Screw that, you know there's nothing that would keep me away from that stupid musty room. The seat by the window has shaped to my ass." Bella snorted with laughter, and then shook her head at me.
"It's your torment, not mine. I'll be nice and unconscious for the duration." We had a nice laugh before class started. The lecture was also insanely boring, but I didn't even notice the time dragging by. Once we made our way out of class I gave Edward, who was standing silently like a marble statue, a bright smile. But he wasn't happy, his dark eyes were almost dangerous with a strange desperation. I could tell he was still angry about Bella's news.
"Hey Eddie." I said, holding back my irritation. He was apparently mortified that Bella was about to have surgery, not that it was any of his business.
"You know I hate that." He raised his eyebrows in frustration.
"That's why I do it." I stuck my tongue out at him in jest.
"We're going to be late for class." His expression had fallen into a typical deadpan, but his eyes were still alive with that strange desperation.
"Am I still being reckless?" Bella glared at him with that familiar disdain she clearly had for him waiting for him to look back at her.
"Yes, but it is your choice. I just want to know the details; my father hasn't spoken to me about it... somehow." Edward looked down at her and from that point on there was no point in even attempting to talk to him. I didn't know how she felt most days, but he was clearly in love with her. She related the details she knew as he pushed her towards her next class. I didn't have classes with Bella for the rest of the day, but after school we talked for a few minutes. It was clear that while she was still excited, Edward's uncharacteristically sour mood had pushed Bella's buttons. I was about to launch into a diatribe about Edward, when Charlie showed up unexpectedly.
"Dad is taking me to dinner with my mom. It's going to be so much fun." Bella smirked as she looked at the van. "See you Sunday?" She asked, confirming the plan for her to come over and help me babysit my brothers.
"Sunday." I smiled and waved at Charlie before heading to my car.
Two days flew by again, as usual for my weekends at home. Errands with my mother, game night with my family, time spent studying, dinners. My family kept my life busy, which was usually a good thing. But I was distracted thinking about what was about to happen on Monday. Both mom and dad agreed to let me out of school to support Bella, which was gracious of them after my attendance issues last year.
Then Sunday afternoon came, and the doorbell rang as my parents were getting ready to leave. I answered and Charlie waved as he pulled away in the van. I waved back and then focused my attention on Bella who was on my front porch already shivering. She had never liked the cold, but the season had already been a bit worse than usual.
"Coffee?" I asked as I stepped aside for her to come in.
"Yes, pleeease!" She said as she rolled into the living room. "Decaf though, Dr. Cullen wants me to nice to my heart today and as per usual I'm not eating today." The boys were both in their playpen and stood up and reached out to her immediately. A wide bright smile crossed her lips and she went over to them. I turned and headed for the kitchen to make dad's instant decaf coffee. I heard my parents coming downstairs and I poked my head out to say goodbye. My dad stopped and greeted Bella.
"Good luck on Monday, I'll keep you in my prayers. The news of your surgery tomorrow was all anyone could talk about at church today." He said with a touch of pride.
"How did they know? It's not like it's in the paper." Bella said through a forced smile.
"I mentioned it in my sermon this morning. To me it is a sign of divinity, the restoration of your legs would be a miracle." He explained, and Bella's eyes widened ever so slightly.
"Dad, you guys should get going." I interrupted. Dad gave me a look, but mom backed me up and led him out of the house. Once the door was closed Bella's smile dropped and she gave me a bit of a warning glare.
"Couldn't you stop him? I thought he practiced his sermons with you." She was a little angry, but I knew it was mostly embarrassment at the thought of so many people sharing news about her.
"I think out of respect he hasn't included me in his sermons since I stopped going to church." I tried not to frown, but Bella's expression softened.
"I'm so sorry, I know that's partially my fault." Bella said with a sad smile.
"Is Alice coming?" I asked, changing the subject. Alice hadn't confirmed when I invited her yesterday.
"I don't know, I haven't talked to her since Friday." Bella shrugged, then her attention returned to the twins who were both acting up because no one was paying attention to them. Mom of course kissed them goodbye, but the conversation had distracted us from them completely.
Hours ticked by, and Alice never showed. I made a small snack plate for myself, forgoing pizza because Bella couldn't partake. Then Charlie showed up again to take her home, and as I waved goodbye, I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that remained throughout the night. I had trouble sleeping, my dreams tumbling through nightmares again and for some reason they kept featuring that stranger with white hair.
The next morning, I slept through my alarm, and almost missed breakfast had it not been for mom calling me downstairs. I made it to the hospital hoping to see Bella before she was taken into surgery, and when I walked into the waiting room, I was startled to see practically everyone I knew. Renee, Phil and the entire Cullen clan. Alice came over to me as I found a seat and sat down next to me.
"Sorry about yesterday, there was some minor family drama." She said with a small smirk, the frustration in her eyes was clear though, and there was something else. Something elusive in her expression that I couldn't place, but as I looked around the room it was shared by her entire family.
"No worries, although I missed your company." I said waving away the small friendship failure.
"Thank you for that, was Bella disappointed?" She asked, oddly hopeful in her expression.
"A bit, but you know Bella. She never expects anyone to show up." I said with a small sigh.
Then Bella and Charlie arrived. Alice, Rose, Esme, Renee, and Edward all gave her a hug before the appeared and she was immediately wheeled away. Charlie sat down away from everyone else and started to brood. We all knew his routine, and no one tried to approach him. When she was in surgery like this, it was better to leave him alone. He couldn't handle any kind of in-depth conversation or even forced politeness.
After about an hour most of the Cullen's save Alice for and Rose left, it was surprising that Edward was gone but I didn't dwell on it for long. Perhaps she had broken up with him after all. The wait was interminable, and no one wanted to talk. It drew out the hours, and as the minutes ticked away the ball in my stomach started to grow bigger and bigger. I could almost feel what was coming, yet nothing could prepare me when Doctor Cullen finally came out.
Charlie was on his feet the instant Carlisle could be seen through the small window in the swinging doors to the surgery wing. Everyone else followed suit, and as I met Carlisle's eyes I knew something was wrong. Carlisle rarely looked upset; he was always calm in every situation, this time he was at the point of tears.
"No, no… nononono…" Charlie started, already reading into Carlisle's expression. Carlisle flinched a little at Charlie's reaction, and then cleared his throat before starting to speak.
"After several hours of surgery, Bella's heart gave out. We tried every lifesaving procedure we could, but we were never able to revive her. I'm so sorry." Carlisle clearly wanted to reach out and comfort Charlie, Renee, any of us. But he had to remain professional. "I will be available for questions soon, but there are few things I need to take care of first. Again, my sincerest condolences."
"You lying bastard!" Renee spat out, her vitriol surprising all of us, and Charlie most of all who caught her attention and shook his head.
"We can't Renee, she's gone. There's no point." Charlie turned and walked out of the waiting room, holding back the tears already clouding his vision. Renee looked after him, and then bolted through the other door towards the main parking lot, her own anger currently outweighing the devastation. Phil gave us all a strained look and followed her.
Rose had her eyes closed, and Alice was sitting with her head in her hands. I was still in shock, and a part of me refused to believe that she was gone. I sat down next to them and they both and took my hands in theirs, the cold now a comfort to me. Then I let the pain start to pour out of me. I must have cried for twenty minutes, uncontrollably. They sat patiently with me and didn't let go until eventually when I was cried out. Then, rather suddenly, they both stood and left the waiting room without saying a thing. It took a moment but I eventually looked up to search for them and I found Carlisle in the room staring at me with the strangest expression.
"Angela." Doctor Cullen said after a few awkward seconds of silence.
"Carlisle." I said his name almost like a curse. I hadn't quite realized how angry I was about his role in Bella's death.
"Come, let's talk." He offered a hand to help me up. I stared at it like he was handing me something vile, but slowly I reached out because rationally I had no reason to hate him no matter how much I was seething with fury. He helped me to my feet and then let go, leading me through the hospital labyrinth to his office and offered me some water as I sat down. I hadn't realized how parched I was, and the cool liquid seemed to relive some of the pain I was feeling.
"I have something to ask you." Carlisle took a deep breath and waited for me to respond.
"Anything. Ask me anything." I replied quickly, implying a trust I wasn't sure I felt anymore.
"First, let me preface that I am reluctant to do this, but I realize there isn't much choice anymore. What I'm about to tell you is extremely dangerous for you, and it will alter your life in ways I cannot begin to anticipate." Carlisle met my eyes as he spoke, and I felt a strange sense of weight as if he was about to reveal the secrets of the universe or something. Then it dawned on me, he was about to bring me in on the secret. I felt my heart begin to beat faster as I anticipated what I was about to learn.
"I'm not sure I care anymore." I said, knowing my feelings of confusion and fear were just my mind dealing with grief and pain over losing my best friend.
"I can only imagine how you're feeling right now, and I wish there had been a way to tell you before. For some reason it had to be done this way, which feels cruel. But regardless of the timing, we have decided as a family that you deserve the truth." I gritted my teeth, and nodded once before he continued. "Alright, have you ever felt uncomfortable or afraid of us for no reason?" I nodded as I felt my body begin to shiver, I had been able to write it off and pretend that my entire world view wasn't teetering on the edge of a cliff with no bottom.
"Yes." I whispered, terrified of what was about to come. I knew rationally that Carlisle would never hurt me, but how could I be sure? I shook my head and looked down at my hands, because I couldn't look at him anymore. He was silent for almost a full minute, and it started to feel a little uncomfortable sitting there in silence. I looked up and his expression was seriously conflicted.
"Angela. You know me, you know us. I trust you, which is why we want to tell you the truth." I started to shake my head, and shifted to get up but Carlisle held up a hand. "This is for Bella's sake too." I shut my eyes as my whole body began to sob, they had done it finally.
"She's alive." It was more of a statement than a question, and I opened my eyes to find him nodding.
"Yes. The surgery was a ruse to cover her transformation." His confirmation made my heart pound in my temples, and I had to agree the timing was cruel. The confirmation also triggered something deep down, and my fear and grief instantly turned into anger.
"Why couldn't you tell Charlie at least? He deserves to know more than me." I asked the first question that made sense to me, trying to tamp down the anger I was feeling.
"It's complicated but the short answer is she will be different, volatile. Charlie would demand to see her right away without understanding, and that could be potentially... Lethal." He shook his head. "I'm not happy about concealing her from them, but it is an unfortunate consequence of her choice."
"You told her, no wonder she's been so distant. How long?" I needed to know how long my best friend had been lying to me.
"A week. We had a lot to set up and I couldn't do it without her consent and cooperation." He looked down at his hands folded on top of his desk, as I also looked at my own hands feeling a minor sting of betrayal. At the same time Bella probably thought it wasn't her secret to tell. "I can see you have already accepted certain aspects of us, it is time to let you know the rest." He wasn't explicit, but I knew he was asking the question again, and this time I nodded in consent.
"My family are different from most of our kind, we value human life and have made a vow to never take a life unless there is no other choice. It is why I struggled so long with my decision to turn Bella. I was also fighting with Edward over the existential nature of turning someone not mortally ill or injured." He did sound a bit frustrated, and I suddenly understood why Edward was acting so strangely.
"What are you exactly?" Hoping that his next words were not what we had guessed, because no matter how I felt about the Cullens, deep down I was terrified.
"There are many names for us, but the most appropriate, while accurate, does not paint a complete picture." He said, and then paused as if cementing his resolve. "I am a vampire, and I have been like this for three-hundred and forty-one years."
Everything was true and I almost felt sick. Bella and I were friends with a family of vampires, and now my entire world was wrong. My reality had been splintering for months, but in that instant it shattered like a pane of glass under too much pressure. I began to retch, and Carlisle was around his desk with a small trash can ready as I lost my breakfast.
"Try to breathe slowly." He coaxed, and I nodded as the panic attack subsided. "I have a toothbrush I've never used in my bathroom over there, you're welcome to it."
I looked at him thankfully, and slowly pushed myself upright. Then on somewhat wobbly legs I made my way into the bathroom and the sight in the mirror was shocking. I looked like death, pale with dark rings around my eyes. My skin was glistening with a thin sheen of sweat and my very light make up was smeared. I found the toothbrush and a completely untouched tube of toothpaste and spent too long getting the taste of bile out of my mouth. After I was done I had to look away from my reflection, it was too hard to know how badly I was handling things. I went back to my chair, and plopped down hard, before slowly raising my eyes to meet his.
"We figured it out last year, but refused to believe it. Or I thought I did, to be honest I think a part of me knew this was the truth and it's been tearing my world apart bit by bit." I could see my words hit him hard and he started to respond but I stopped him. His eyes were fixed on me, eyes that I realized were truly unnatural. "Are any of them actually your children?"
"Biologically no, but I consider them to be my children." The love in his voice convinced me of his sincerity, of course I already knew how they felt about each other. I had spent more than enough time with them to know it wasn't all an act. There were no slip ups when it came to their connection to one another, no false emotions. They were a family, that much was absolutely true.
"How does that work?" I wondered if they had come together or if he was responsible for them becoming like him.
"They were all as young as you were when they were turned, Emmett was the eldest at twenty. They have been a part of my family for longer than they were ever human. Much like Bella will be in a few days." It wasn't the answer I was looking for, but it was a start.
"Will she be… whole?" I didn't like thinking of her as deficient in any way, but I couldn't deny the joy I would feel seeing her walk again.
"The transformation should restore her completely, and she will never suffer from the pain of the accident again, and hopefully in time she will be happy." He allowed a small smile as he spoke of her happiness which cemented for me that he already thought of her as a daughter. Then he gave me the same look, and suddenly I realized my place in this. I was just as close to their family as Bella, would that mean I might end up a vampire too?
"Why tell me, I don't understand?" I asked, hoping the answer wouldn't involve me becoming a vampire.
"That's complicated, but ultimately it came down to two important facts. The first is that we know we can trust you and all of us think of you as a part of the family. Secondly, because Bella will need someone she can confide in. While I'm confident that she loves us, and will be happy in our family, I feel she needs at least one connection to her human life. In time we may have to move on, perhaps sooner rather than later. If she adheres to our way of life, or even if she will want to, may determine how much she enjoys this life." As he spoke, I realized how deeply he cared, and that almost paternal love eased my mind a little.
"I think I'm missing something." I said, finding the details confusing.
"As I said before, we are unlike most of our kind. We do not drink the blood of humans. It is a moral choice, but not an easy one. The lure of human blood can be so extreme as to be irresistible. Edward for example had to leave for Alaska when he first met Bella to keep from killing her. In time he has managed to control that thirst, but even we are not immune to the instinctual enticements. Bella in her first few months will be unable to control her impulses and cravings; we will teach her as best we can, but it'll be difficult. Eventually she will have to decide whether she wants to stay with us and pursue our lifestyle or strike out on her own. We're hoping that talking with you over the phone will help her with that control, and perhaps your influence can help her choose which path she would like to follow." His explanation made sense but I found myself shaking my head.
"There will be no convincing needed, she will absolutely want to abstain, especially if it means killing." I was more than confidant, we were very much the same in that regard.
"Generally it does, when we feed we have little control over our actions. Plus the simple act of biting a human releases our venom which will eventually turn a human into one of us." He said it somewhat casually, but I had to repress shock. We had been around them for over a year, and if at any point they had lost their control we could've ended up dead or turned into a vampire.
"So knowing about all this, it's a big secret right? I mean the world thinks you are fantasy monsters. If thy found out you were real?" It was a two plus two moment, but it made a lot of sense.
"War, outrage, we would be hunted with your modern weapons and while we are strong, we would eventually lose. This secret is our primary law, telling you could condemn me to death." He sounded sad, but resolute. His choice was already made.
"Why risk it then?" I had to ask; I couldn't understand why they would trust me like this.
"It's selfish, and reckless. But that seems to be what I do lately. Alice has been watching your future, and it is tied to Bella's in a way we cannot separate. Turning her but leaving you out of it would lead to your…" He stopped abruptly and that meant only one thing.
"If you hadn't told me all of this I would have died?" I sat forward, my jaw almost hitting the floor.
"Yes." He met my eyes, and I could tell he was being completely honest.
"So she really can see the future." I shook my head in disbelief, how much had we gotten right?
"Her visions are subjective, based on individual choice. If Bella had her way she would push you away for your own safety. According to Alice that would lead you into a relationship with, I want to say Tyler and you get into a car crash." I almost laughed, me and Tyler Crowley getting together sounded ludacris.
"Well that's a lot. I guess that no longer happens." The reasoning being of course he had already changed things by telling me about that fate.
"Alice had seen two paths for you and Bella, a human path which kept changing and I really have no idea what all the permutations were, and a path where Bella was turned. Half of that equation was completed by starting Bella's transformation, informing you is the other half. According to Alice this locks out a lot of very bad outcomes." He didn't sound very confident as he explained it, which meant I would have to get it out of Alice at some point later on.
"That's a bit of a mindbender isn't it?" I smirked, there was a reason I didn't care for time travel stories, they always made my head hurt figuring out the logic.
"There's a reason I don't tend to ask about Alice's vision unless I have to. What I do know is that she cannot see past a few days from now, but you do have a role in this and you have to know the truth of our secret." He looked a bit pained as he spoke about Alice, and relieved about getting the truth out finally. I was also feeling that relief, no longer wondering and worrying about what might happen. Things felt better, but at the same time I had no idea how the world worked anymore.
"Some secret." I muttered to myself.
"The thing is, there is a possibility that you may become one of us someday. Although that is something that would have to be your choice." Carlisle gave me a tired smile, his inner conflict over his recent decisions clearly weighing heavily on his shoulders.
"I never thought about immortality, even as a philosophical quandary. I guess the idea of seeing the future and being a living witness to history could be fascinating. But I could never hurt anyone… I think I might be a bit overwhelmed right now, and I need some time to think." My mind was racing, and all the possibilities were making me lose focus on the moment.
"Take all the time you need; however, I must know. Angela, will you keep our secret?" He took a deep breath in preparation for my answer. I wondered idly if I answered no, would he be forced to kill me? Did I really have an option? With the consequences on the table, the leverage of telling the world the truth about vampires felt laughable. No one would believe me, and it would hurt them for no reason except for fear. Of course it was just a thought experiment, the idea of betraying the Cullens was antithetical to me, because I loved them as dearly as my own family.
"If you honestly thought my answer would be anything other than yes, you wouldn't have asked." I asked with a touch of incredulity, and he immediately smiled back at me.
"I have no doubts about you, and you're right your silence was almost a forgone conclusion, but for your safety and the safety of my family I cannot assume you will remain silent forever." He said with a warmth that made it very clear this was just a confirmation and not an accusation.
"I know. I do need some time to think through everything." I started, and then realized there was an option I hadn't thought of. "Can I see her? I think I need to see she's alive to know you're telling me the truth." All of this was based on trust, my trust in Carlisle and his trust in me that was a matter of faith, yet I had to have some form of proof about the more outlandish aspects of his story. Then later, I would probably have a nervous breakdown.
"I'll take you down to see her now. The next few days are going to be difficult for her. She will not move for a couple of days, which works in our favor. I will give you a stethoscope to listen to her heart for two minutes. You should hear one to two beats in that time frame." He said with a touch of hope in his voice. With a deep breath he stood up and led me to an employee's only elevator, and then down into a lower level where they had a small morgue and coroner's office.
It was clean and nowhere near as creepy as typically pictured in the movies, but the metal tables were real. Bella was partially covered with a white cloth, and her chest was exposed with a clipboard lying on her stomach from where the medical examiner must have forgotten it. Carlisle momentarily shook his head and moved over to her, covering her up and placing the paperwork in a holder on the wall near the table.
"Small towns." He said, almost embarrassed. "I made sure there would be no autopsy. She will be transferred to Crowley's funeral home, where I believe Renee is arranging a viewing. From there she would be cremated, and her ashes buried. Instead, we will intercept her and bring her home. The timing isn't ideal, the viewing is supposed to be tomorrow, and I'm not sure how long she will be in transition." He handed me his stethoscope and I pressed it against her chest. Sure enough after over a minute I heard a very faint sound that might have been a heartbeat but it was a very slow and sluggish sound as if her heart were pumping molasses instead of blood.
"It doesn't sound like a heartbeat." I said waiting for a second one just to make sure I wasn't imagining things. After almost another two full minutes I heard the exact same thing again. It was so strange and faint that I could easily believe how easy it would be to miss if you didn't know what you were looking for. I stepped away and returned the stethoscope to Carlisle, and he gave me a curious nod. "It sounded strange, like honey being pushed through a baster."
"Interesting analogy, and quite apt." He looked almost proud of me.
"So why aren't you sure of the timing?" I asked, curious after digesting the absolutely macabre description of my best friend's terrifying journey over the next couple of days.
"It is different for everyone, physical size, weight and metabolism make a difference. If the person is overweight the fat is excised from them, and that is… unpleasant. Or like Bella with all that metal we had to use to keep her bones together. Which I removed so her body wouldn't have to force them out the hard way. Typically, though, the process takes about two to four days." His clinical description helped, it made the process seem natural, organic instead of magical or supernatural.
"That means she should be awake by Wednesday. God she's gonna be buried on her birthday. Can she hear us?" I said reaching out, and then pulling my hand back suddenly afraid I would hurt her.
"Possibly, transition is very painful, but physical touch will cause her no pain. You can touch her if you like, as Bella would've normally consented." Carlisle motioned towards Bella, nodding softly.
"Is she even breathing?" I lifted an edge of the sheet and wrapped a hand in one of hers, and then looked back.
"No, her heart and lungs were transformed first. In fact the heart acts as the engine that is working my venom through her system. As it spreads it alters every cell in her body, until there is nothing left to change and she wakes up. Do you ask out of curiosity, or are you interested in medicine?" Carlisle's clinical description was oddly comforting, it put context to the changes I could already see.
"I like science, and yes I thought about applying to medical school." I looked up at him and realized he could be an unbelievable resource and teacher if I wanted to pursue that life. "Although I was waffling between human medicine and becoming a veterinarian."
"My focus has always been on humans, I spent centuries perfecting my control and techniques. I would love to teach you what I know. If you're willing." His warm expression made me finally feel that everything was going to be okay, and I gently removed my hand from Bella's. I decided to ignore his offer for now, until I knew what my life was going to look like.
"How long will I have to stay away from her?" I asked with a feeling of longing. I didn't know when I would see her again, and I was now very curious what she would be like when she woke up from this transformation.
"We don't know for sure; it will really be up to Bella. It could take several months, maybe up to a couple of years." He looked at me to gauge my reaction but I wasn't sure how to react. A week, a year, a decade. It didn't matter, she was my best friend and I would never abandon her. Then I noticed a stray hair stretched across her forehead, so I brushed it away, and then leaned down to whisper in her ear.
"I hope you can hear me. If you can, I promise I'll be there for you, even if that means I can't be in the same room with you. Give me a call when you can. I Love you Isabella, you will always be my best friend." Then I leaned over and kissed her gently on the forehead. "I'm ready to get out of here; I can't see her like this anymore."
I felt torn leaving her alone. I had no doubt that they all loved her, but worried what role she would have in the family. Did Carlisle turn her just to be Edward's bride? If so there might be some massive fall out if she rejected him. Or worse, would she feel obligated to him? If that happened I could see things easily twist into something dark. But what could I do, they were so strong? I couldn't tell anyone without looking like a lunatic. Neither my parents nor Bella's would understand. If they are being truthful then she will either love it or hate it. I only wished I could anticipate which, at least she was going to walk again. That was enough to make me sigh with joy. I just hoped the rest of it was good for her.
"Of course, she already knows that we're bringing you in on the secret. Thank you for this Angela, if there is anything we can ever do for you please let us know." Carlisle hesitated for a moment and then pulled me into a hug. It wasn't the first time, but this time it helped calm my inner chaos a bit. Then when he pulled away his pleasant smile put me even more at ease. Then he nodded at me with an appreciative nod, he was genuinely thankful that I was willing to help.
Together we left Bella on that slab, and I felt so mixed about everything. In less than an hour my entire life had changed again. The consequences of that change were as intangible and far reaching as the cosmos. There was a very real possibility I could be headed down a path that would lead to my death, or eternity as a vampire. As I got in my car and started to drive home, I began to cry, and didn't really stop until the next day.
Author's Notes:
So about embalming. I did a bit a research to see if this was an oversight. Apparently it a strange and complete practice. Embalming is a procedure used by funeral parlors to preserve a body. Often done before a viewing to ensure that there is no obvious bloat or disfiguration of a corpse. However, Washington State does not require embalming within 24 hours before cremation, additionally refrigeration can be used to preserve the body. Embalming can be also quite expensive, so along with burial costs I would assume Charlie and Renee would forgo embalming.
I changed the nature of canon vampire transformation a little. If your heart is the first thing to change, and from there it slowly filters and alters your blood over the course of days instead of minutes it would mean that new heart would be incredibly slow. The way SM described it the heart beats furiously for the entire length of the transition, it never really made sense to me.
Next chapter: Rest in Peace, Isabella Swan - Bella
Thank you for reading!