Chapter Twenty-Five: Where the Fault Lies - Bella

"Narrative drawing to a close. Still remain the things we couldn't kill. In your eyes I can see it still. How we choose the framing of the scene. Hate begins to spill across the screen. Blinding light illuminates the scene. Trying to fill the spaces in between."

- How To Destroy Angels (The Space In Between)

Friday, September 16, 2005

I looked at Rose and nodded, then stole one last look at my father wishing him better. Then we took off towards the house. Just as we crossed the edge of town Rose's cell phone rang.

"Is Bella with you?" I could hear Edward's voice clearly. She didn't answer and instead handed me her phone and continued ahead while I stopped to talk.

"Edward? What's wrong?" I asked, not sure why he wanted to speak to me.

"Angela is safe at home, and we're watching the area. I thought you would want to know." Edward kept his voice even, and I felt a small smile curl at my lips from his thoughtfulness.

"Thank you." I said easily, as I realized I had forgiven him. Perhaps in time I could even learn to love him as a brother.

"Of course, I know how much she…" There was a strange sound, like stone grinding on metal and the phone landing on the ground. A few seconds later I could hear someone pick it up.

"Are you his mate?" The voice on the other end matched the tracker James. I stopped in mid-step horrified by the thought that Edward was suddenly gone.

"What did you do?" My voice was cold as ice. I was already angry with the situation with my father, and now this monster had hurt my family.

"I'm sorry he had to go, but he was in my way. Get this message to the white haired one, tell him if he wants his human, then he needs to come alone to the clearing where we met." Without another word he ended the call, and I started to run towards town faster than I had ever run before.

I had found my last experience running to be exhilarating, liberating, even wonderful. This felt like the opposite, I was filled with dread and fear. If I had still been human, my heart would've been racing. Instead, my new body simply moved. Faster and faster, through the streets of Forks towards an uncertain future where my family would be broken and grieving. Why hadn't Alice seen this? Wasn't Edward supposed to be alive in the coming fight? I had just gotten over my anger, but I had always assumed I would have time to figure out what we meant to each other, form a real relationship as family. I still wanted him in my life, but he was gone, in an instant.

I knew Angela's street very well; I had spent more time staring out their large bay window onto this street than I could actively remember from my fuzzy human memories. I risked stopping for a second under a tree at the end of the block, scanning everything for any sign of Edward. It took longer than I wanted, but eventually I found him halfway down opposite from Angela's house, in the front yard of a family that was out of town on a off season vacation.

I ran to him without really thinking, and what I found sent waves of shock and fear up my spine. His eyes were motionless, his head nearly sheared off and his right arm severed and laying next to him. I fell to my knees unable to think clearly. I stared at his corpse for what felt like hours, but I knew it had only been seconds when Rosalie came up behind me.

"He's gone." Was all I could say.

"He's not burned." Rose said rather curiously, kneeling down next to me.

"But he's in pieces." I looked over at her, feeling helpless.

"Help me press the pieces together and hold them in place." Rose spoke slowly, her instructions almost seemed practiced despite the horror and fear in her eyes. I dropped the phone I'd stolen from her onto the grass and leaned down to press Edward's head against the trunk of his neck as she fitted his arm back to his shoulder. It was a bit like fitting together pieces of a mannequin, but far more real and terrifying. For five long seconds nothing happened. And then the jagged seam across his next started to knit back together, and as the crack across his neck faded, life flashed back into his eyes. He sat up and stared at me wordlessly.

"Bella?" He said my name in a whisper. I pulled back and looked him in the eyes, feeling a wave of relief.

"I forgive you, brother." I said feeling overwhelmed. His smile was so pure and happy but that happiness vanished in the next instant as he looked over at Angela's house.

"Angela?" He asked with a hopeful look on his face. I shook my head in response.

"What happened?" Rose asked, and he seemed to notice her for the first time.

"Um, he took me by surprise, but Mason was going after Victoria." Edward shut his eyes in pain and then ran his hands along his neck a couple of times. I wondered if there was any pain, or was it just magically healed. The fact that I could be torn to pieces and recover was a jarring realization.

"He got her." I spoke softly, almost afraid to say the words. It felt like admitting she was dead, and a faint hope in my heart withered as I delivered the news. I felt my face fall and inside I felt a scream or rage begin to build. Then as that rage slammed against my shield, I felt it crack down the middle.

"Their play was too easy, were we too complacent?" He looked angry. But I was sure nothing could match the seething hatred I was feeling.

"I was a fool." Mason's voice surprised us both and we looked up and over at him standing only five feet away, which completely defused me for a moment.

"Mason, he wants you to come alone." Rose explained for me, and I gave her a flash of gratitude because I couldn't meet his eyes. He lowered his head and clenched his jaw a few times without responding. Then he looked to each of us once and nodded, anguish crossed his face, and then anger. I loved Angela, but in that instant, I knew he lover her just as much as I did. When he opened his eyes, I couldn't see any hope left in him.

"Where?" He said softly, although I wasn't sure if his anger was directed at us or the two that kidnapped her.

"The baseball field, he wants you to come alone." I said, my voice almost breaking from the emotions that were overwhelming me. He nodded once, and was gone.

That scream that had been building suddenly broke through my shield and I couldn't stop it from bursting from my throat. The inhuman sound shattered the glass of the homes nearby. Rose acted quickly and scooped me up into her arms, carrying me towards home so fast that I thought I was imagining the speed. When we were out of the earshot of human ears she stopped and set me carefully on the ground.

"I trust him, he'll bring her back, I know it." She said, locking eyes with me as she took a hold of my shoulders.

"This is my fault. She shouldn't even be a part of our lives!" I felt so helpless, despite the power in my body there was nothing I could do.

"I thought I was the one who overreacts." Edward said, startling me, and I looked over to see him give me a halfhearted smirk. But the sentiment didn't work, and the deep inside I felt my mind starting to slip. "Bella, you can't blame yourself. I know we'll see her again; Alice would've seen if she was going to die."

"Really, like her visions have been that reliable lately!" The vile emotions seizing me spat out the insult without thought, but Edward took it in stride.

"You can't blame her for that, and I know she'll figure a way around that vision." Edward sounded confidant, then Rose forced me to look at her.

"I may not be sure of her power right now, but I'm sure of her." Rose was holding me at arm's length, and it was almost as if she were holding me in place. I was momentarily frustrated with her and shrugged away from her touch.

I stood up and ran as fast and far as I could into the endless woods. I felt both of them behind me, but they were far enough back to give me space. I ran without purpose until I broke a tree line and found myself in a large clearing. A light layer of snow covered the dead grass and the full moon made the entire field sparkle like I was looking into a reflection of myself in full daylight.

It took them almost a full minute to catch up with me, but as Rose came up and wrapped her arms around my waist I felt myself calm down. When I spoke, it was barely a whisper. "He must be losing his mind." I turned my head to look at her, and she just nodded.

"He's been waiting for her for thousands of years, I can't imagine what he's going through." She spoke with a pained look in her eyes. I glanced over at Edward who was staring at us, seeing us close for really the first time and I could see something in his expression change. He gave me a small nod, as though accepting my choice.

"If she dies, he's done. He let me into his mind for a second as he left, and his intentions were very clear. If he saves her, they'll be back. If he doesn't, he's going to the Volturi to end it." I gasped, as I realized how deep he had fallen. "It was something I contemplated once." He shook his head, as if clearing the thought from his mind. "I have to wonder if my ability worked like it used to, would I have been able to stop him?"

"Edward, it wasn't your fault." I gave him a forced smile, but he shook his head at me.

"That shithead is to blame, not you." Rose said, turning towards Edward and giving him an intense look. They stared at one another for several seconds, until he broke eye contact and nodded once, the same kind of look he gave me a moment before. "Thank you." Was all she said about the exchange, and I knew they had some kind of telepathic conversation. Then her grip tightened around my waist slightly, and she kissed my cheek.

"I love you." She whispered in my ear as I realized he was gone. I began to turn into her arms, hoping to lose myself in her embrace, but then her face hardened. "Damn, Edward just sent me a message, Alice is in trouble." She reluctantly pulled her arms away and then motioned with her eyes for me to follow her. Then we were moving through the forest at what felt like my top speed. As we got closer, I could hear the wolves barking and yapping at something.

"I can't let you take him!" Alice's voice was threatening, angry.

"You're all making this so hard, I'm so sorry." The other voice was Jacob, I had no doubt. Edward entered form another angle, and moved to her side, bearing his teeth and hunching over in a defensive posture. I angled myself towards his voice, and second later I slammed into Jacob with as much force as I could. He flew back nearly fifty feet and as he landed, rolling smoothly and getting back on his feet to launch himself at me. Rose was at my side, bracing for a fight, but he stopped short, skidding to a halt in the last five feet. The other three wolves all barked loudly at him, and he howled once before turning and running towards the West, fast, nearly as fast as I could run.

I turned toward Alice, happy with myself, until I realized she was guarding someone at her feet, my vision tracked down and found something out of a nightmare. My dad, pale and prone on the forest floor. A large gash in his throat seeping, and his body convulsing. I looked at Alice who shook her head, closing her eyes in pain, then shook her head again. I looked at her suspiciously, it was plain on her face that she was ashamed of something.

"Alice, now isn't the time. Tell me what happened to my father!" I demanded, and she opened her eyes but couldn't fully meet mine.

"I told him the truth, and then." Her voice trailed off, but I could guess the rest. In her misguided attempt to make me happy she tried to turn him. "I'm so sorry Bella I never meant to..." I felt my hand flying before I had a chance to understand my action. The slap was deafening, and it left a strange dark imprint on her cheek for a few seconds. She reached up and touched her cheek, and then looked at me with such a look of guilt and fear that I took a step back from her.

"It was the red-head. I visited your father, I had to tell him. I couldn't stand to see him like that." Alice shut her eyes and lowered her head in shame. I reached out, tempted to throw a punch this time. Instead I placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. She flinched, and then fell into my arms.

"I'm so sorry, I found him like this just after the wolves scared her off. Then I started to run home and they caught up to me." Alice's body was shaking, her head bobbing up and down constantly, clearly in a state of panic.

"Then you did something I couldn't, but, Alice, your timing sucks, they have Angela." Alice's eyes flew open and she shook her head quickly a couple of times in confusion.

"No, I saw her, no. She's still alive. We went to the mall. I don't understand…" Alice pulled away and fell back against a nearby tree and collapsed under the weight of her anger and confusion, weeping into her folded arms and resting on her knees which she had drawn up to her chest. Edward motioned for me to pick up my father. I swallowed once, and gave him a curt nod, before leaning down.

"I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm here dad. I'm going to take you to a safe place, and when you wake, we'll explain everything." I gently picked him up. A part of my mind broke a little as I took in the fact that I was holding my own father. A concept that would've been impossible as a human, even when I had my legs. I looked at Charlie for a protracted second, and then back at Rose at a loss of what to do next. I needed time to process everything and it didn't help that my best friend's life was still in mortal peril. She picked up Alice, who was still curled into herself, and together Edward led us towards home.

Esme and Carlisle were already waiting, and Esme immediately reached out towards Rose. "Give her to me." She gently transferred Alice over to Esme, who quickly retreated into the house.

Carlisle helped me get my father onto a couch in his office, and then pulled me into a hug. I didn't feel like I wanted it at first, but after a moment I just buried my head in his chest, feeling my body shake from tearless sobs. After a few minutes he transferred me to Rosalie, who stood holding me for a long time, her patience endless. Eventually I cried myself out, and as I pulled away, she gave me the warmest smile.

"I'll look after him, he'll be fine Bella." Carlisle was still there, at his desk watching over my father. Somehow he had given me a father's reassurance, and some of the guilt lessened from my shoulders.

I quickly turned away and ran out the back of the house. Heavy moonlight drifted down from the broken clouds and made my crystalline skin glow softly in undulating patterns. For a long time, I stood alone with my thoughts until the sun rose in the sky above me. It took me all night to realize that there was nothing I could've done and there was no one to blame. The indignation and fury that felt so natural to me when we were caught up in the chaos of the attack, was gone, and all I was left with was a deep ache. Rosalie eventually joined me, she didn't touch me or try to comfort me. Instead she simply stood next to me, her expression just as tortured as my own.

"Alice will be okay, I think." Rose said cautiously.

"I should apologize, it wasn't her fault." I shook my head; the word fault was starting to sound wrong to me. "Hold me please" I begged, looking over at her feeling like I was unable to stand on my own. She moved over without hesitation and wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me against her chest and kissing my right cheek. A movement that was starting to feel familiar and welcomed. Any question I might've had about us drifted away, as she held me tightly.

"He'll save her, I know it." She tried to comfort me, but I could see the doubt in her eyes.

"We should go, back him up." I suggested, wondering why we weren't out there with him.

"I don't know if we would be a help or a hinderance, he has more experience than all of us put together. He's been a soldier so many times... plus I think they'll kill her outright if any of us show up." Rose's voice was quivering with emotion. I looked back, and then turned in her arms and leaned my forehead against hers.

"You're right. I guess all we can do now is wait." I looked towards the wilderness in the vague direction of the baseball field.

"She's alive, she has to be alive." Was all she said in response, kissing me softly and then resting her head on my shoulder.

I didn't have anything either, my head swimming in contradictions and fear. I wanted to lose myself in her embrace, but I couldn't be selfish anymore. My best friend was in mortal danger, my father was suffering and my family was being threatened by wolves. I didn't know why we seemed to be dangling by a finger on the edge of fate. But I had to hope that an ancient vampire, whose motivations were as secret as his past, could save Angela's life.

Saturday, September 17, 2005 - Alice

Esme set me down on the couch in my room, and then sat on the end pulling me into her lap like I was a child. I felt small and fragile, and accepted her love without hesitation. I desperately needed the support. I knew time passed, just sitting there trying to sort through my guilt. I knew that Bella was going through something similar, until she left with Rose right behind her. Then I heard a soft knock, and Esme got up, moving me carefully. Then Edward walked in and pulled a chair up across from the couch. I just pulled my knees up to my chin, and glared at him.

"What do you want?" I asked after a time, my anger and frustration with myself coming out as hostility directed at him.

"I've given them my blessing, not that they need it. I want them both to be happy, and so does Emmett." He said as though that were foremost on my mind. While I was happy the conflict about Bella and Rosalie's new relationship was essentially over, I didn't really care in the moment.

"Why are you telling me this? What about Charlie, what about Angela?" I shook my head at him, my voice full of anger and guilt.

"Emmett is already tracking after Mason, although he is far enough behind that he may not be able to help." He replied, and it did give me a small boost. But the other shoe dropped immediately, as I brushed my cheek where Bella had slapped me. "Bella was just angry, she doesn't blame you for what happened."

"How, I mean if I hadn't gone there he would be..." I started but he just shook his head, holding up a hand to stop me.

"No, you did what you thought was right. This is a complex and difficult situation, and Charlie's pain was untenable. I had a chance to read him before he succumbed to the venom, and you know what he felt?" I shook my head again, not sure if I had any idea. "He was grateful to you, happy that you had the courage to tell him. He was almost euphoric as he came to accept that Bella is alive. You gave him that, and it might just be enough to help him through the fires."

"I don't know Edward. It still feels like my fault." I couldn't deny his words made me feel a touch better, and I relaxed my grip on my shins a little.

"Bella was going to do the same thing, but Rose kept her from making that choice." I could tell he was trying to help, but it just made it worse. Bella wanting to tell her father made complete sense. Rose helping her realize it was a bad decision made even more. I was a fool, and I couldn't justify my actions.

"I'll be fine, just please leave me alone." I begged, and he frowned but nodded once. Getting up and walking out, but paused at the door before leaving.

"I meant that it might not have just been you that drew Victoria to Charlie, not to mention our own old scent lines going to that house again and again. We laid a path to him directly, and it would be selfish to take all the blame here. We were all responsible, and none of us are. They are the monsters here, they decided to turn things violent. I know him, he's a good man and I'm sure he won't blame you."

"Blame, you know that doesn't matter. I don't even now if forgiveness matters. I'll will feel guilty about this forever." I almost shouted back at him, and he took it without responding, then turned away and leaving me alone. I shut my eyes and tried to look at this new future, but found I could conjure nothing.

Eventually I heard Bella and Rose return, and there was a small exchange as everyone took positions to wait. I slowly got up and wandered downstairs, bracing myself for Bella's anger. I held my breath as I entered the living room, and found them all waiting for me, their expressions open and welcoming. Bella was on the couch, her father's head in her lap. Rose was standing next to her, holding her hand. Edward was at the piano, his fingers moving over the keys as he silently composed a new piece. Esme had brought her easel into the living room and was painting a new portrait, with her back to the room so that we could see her work. This one was of Charlie, the newest member of our family. Carlisle moved over to me, and gave me a brief tight hug, and then motioned towards Bella. I slowly turned towards her, feeling my body tense even more, only to find her with her arm outstretched towards me.

"Sit with us, I know your presence will help him." Bella asked, and I stared at her in confusion. She winced, and sighed. "I'm sorry, I should never have blamed you for this. Please, my sister. I need you."

I stared at her hand, and swallowed once to calm my nerves. Then I walked over with more confidence than I felt, and took her hand before folding myself down to the floor in front of the couch. She held onto me as I leaned against her legs and rested my head against Charlie's arm, feeling peace for the first time in a year.