Rude Awakenings

"I, Tyr Anasazi, certify that I am alive and a citizen of the United States of America," Tyr told the judge, annoyed by the gusty sighs and giggles he heard in the background as he talked. She wasn't here. It had been three weeks since he'd returned. In that time he'd had conversations with every member of his company's Board, but not her. She hadn't visited, though that was to be expected since she'd gotten a restraining order against his mother and her own family in the time he'd been gone. But what bothered him most was that she hadn't even bothered to arrange for a meeting. They were married after all. Given it was a sham marriage, maybe she didn't feel the need to honor it. But, no. He'd seen the videos; she still wore the cheap ass ring he'd given her. That had to mean something.

"If you wanted to make a book about your adventures on Purgatory, I'm sure there are those that would read it," the judge joked, pointing his gavel at the audience, many of which swooned at the prospect. "But without further ado, I pronounce you a living, breathing citizen, subject to all the laws therefore. You have a clean slate, Mr. Anasazi. Don't screw it up." He banged the gavel and a cheer went up from the crowd. He was officially alive again. Time to make the most of it.

… …

"Sir? There's a Ms. Jenkins to see you by the back door," the butler whispered into the man's ear.

"She's here?" Tyr gasped, feeling the need to check himself over. "Show her in."

"The lady refused. And she paid me for a certain degree of discretion." the man responded. "If you'll go to the back door, I'm sure the lady will explain." Tyr was quick to excuse himself from the guests at his mother's party, heading for the back door as if his life depended on it. Outside the house stood his lady, in a conservative suit and skirt that looked all business. She wasn't looking at him, staring fixedly at a point over his left shoulder and that bothered the man. She did not look like she wanted to be where she was, but that didn't matter to him. She was here!

"Wanda. I-"

"Congratulations on regaining your citizenship," she interrupted him. "Here are the proceeds from your last life insurance policy and the sale of your many homes. These are the bank accounts and passwords - feel free to change them at will. I took the liberty of reinstating your life insurance policy, the terms are the same as before. The parts where you need to sign are clearly highlighted, and the self-addressed envelope is attached. As you can see from the balances, you have more than enough to move out of your mother's house should you so choose, and I highlighted a few housing projects that might be to your… gaudy taste. Oh, and here's the divorce papers your boy was so kind as to have couriered to my place of business. Everything is in order, you can give them over to your judge friend and we are officially divorced. Congratulations on getting your life back." With that extremely detailed and cold announcement, she dumped all the paperwork in his hands and turned to walk away.

"Wait," he said, feeling that he'd just been steamrolled.

"For what? For you to gather your friends to taunt me? No thanks. Did you really think I would allow you to make a scene at your 'welcome back' party? I don't think so. You have everything you ever wanted. Congratulations. I have to go now."

"But I don't," he said, holding onto the papers only because she had given them to him. "I want to talk about us."

"There is no us," she said. "There never was. You're officially divorced as of 1708. So go and enjoy yourself. I'm surprised you've lasted this long."

"Please," he said, feeling his chances with her slipping away. "Please, let me-"

"There's nothing to discuss," she said, stubbornly facing away from him. "You now have all the currency you'll ever get out of me. I've unbound you just like you wanted and you're rich again. Leave me alone." She took off the ring he'd given her, placed it on top of the stack, and walked away.

"I know you love me," he called after her.

"Whatever gave you that impression?" her cold tone chilled him.

She messed up though, he glimpsed the tears in the street lights as she turned away. He didn't call after her again, knowing that she wouldn't turn around now that she was crying. She had so much pride in her; he had to admire it. And what she'd done was a stroke of genius. He could slip back into his party as if nothing had happened, or he could announce his good fortune and gloat about his uncontested divorce. The old him would have done the latter before heading out to puruse the night clubs to drink and snort and sex his way to victory. Right now, though, he felt hollow inside. He'd dreamed of hearing her voice, seeing her face, for four long years. There had to be a way to get her back! He wasn't giving up, but right now he felt like he'd been gut punched. He carried his things back inside, feeling lonely.

"What's all that?" his sister, Teresa, asked with a curious look at the papers in his arms.

"I just got a visit from Wanda."

"You mean, 'Luwanda'? No one calls her that anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"After she took over her family's company, she insisted that she be called by her full name or 'Mrs Anasazi'. She's made no exceptions in the meantime; she doesn't respond to 'Wanda' anymore. Gregory told me that she felt a grown-up profession deserved a grown-up name. Nicknames are for kids, according to her. What did she give you?" she asked, peeking at the folders in his hands. "Oh, she finally got rid of that cheap-ass ring you gave her, I see."

He turned away, feeling distraught. He suddenly wanted all the people in the house, all the well-wishers and lookie-loos, gone. He wanted to sulk and possibly hit something. But first he wanted to punch his best friend in the mouth for ruining his chances with the woman he loved.

"I'm going to bed," he said, suddenly angry.

"But what about your party?" Teresa asked in shock.

"I'm not in a festive mood anymore," he answered, taking the back way up to his room.

"Hey buddy! I hear that little Wanda cut you loose-oof." All the air was knocked out of him as his friend tackled him to the floor. He punched Roy in the gut, relishing his look of shock and disbelief.

"You ruined everything!" the angry man yelled. "You mailed her those divorce papers and ruined everything!"

"Of course I gave them to her," Roy said, pushing the man off of him. "It's what you wanted since before you married her! Hell, the only reason you married her in the first place was to merge the businesses! What's the matter with you?"

"I love her," Tyr said for the first time out loud. "I love her and you've ruined everything."

"Woah, woah, woah. You love her? Are you kidding me? This is Wanda we're talking about. The little pissant who we've made a career of torturing. What do you mean, you love her?"

"I mean that I've had four years to think about all the nasty things we did to her and I realized that I'm in love with her. I'm a changed man, Roy. I don't want to party anymore. I want to court her until she believes me."

"Let me guess, you hit your head real hard while you were stranded and-"

"Several times," he confirmed. "Look, I don't expect you to understand. You're still living fast. But I'm done with all that. I was a cold-blooded bastard to her and now I need to find a way to undo it all. I think she might have feelings for me. I have to find a way to reach her."

"You want to remarry that-"

"Call her names again, and I'll punch you in the fucking face."

"You already did that. Look, you really want that girl for yourself?"

"I do," he nodded.

"Then… I don't know, man. I think you're selling yourself short. But if you truly want her, then tear up the divorce papers and tell her that you did it. Give her back her crappy ring and tell her you want an old fashioned courtship."

"You're serious?"

"Yeah, whatever. Look man, you haven't been yourself since you got back. You don't eat, you hardly sleep. You- son of a bitch! You really are in love, aren't you?"

"I want her in my arms. I want her in my bed."

"Miss True-Love-Waits? Good luck."

"She deserves a proper marriage, Roy. After a proper courtship. I've been thinking about this since they found me on that island. There has to be a way to make her believe me."

"Damn, boy, you've got it bad! Why don't you visit her place of business. That'll definitely get a reaction out of her, not likely the one you want. But you'll get a reaction, that's better than most people are able to get out of her."

"Why are you helping me?" Tyr asked. "You've always hated Wanda. And you're convinced that I've lost my mind wanting to court her."

"I think it'll be interesting to see whatever you see in her. I also think you'll never get that stubborn girl. She's going to be convinced you're trying to play her. It should be entertaining to watch."

"Is this a boy's only party?" one of the strumpets from the party cut in, moving into the room.

"Get rid of her," Tyr growled.

"Listen, sweetheart. You might want to come with me. Tyr's feeling particularly grouchy at the moment."

"Oh, that's okay. I like 'em grouchy," she said, trying to push past the man to get at her target. My name's Chiana," she said, reaching out to touch him. "I want to-"

"Are you deaf?" Tyr shouted. "Get lost. I don't want you here."

The woman paused to collect herself. She was determined to be the next Mrs. Anasazi. To do that, she needed to be pregnant. And considering that he hadn't had time to start up his sperm-killing meds, this might be her only chance. "Or… maybe you just don't think you do," she said in a sultry voice, waving her camera crew closer. She wasn't subtle enough, Roy saw it and immediately swung the door open. The sound and camera guys immediately made a break for it.

"Get out of here," Tyr growled, grabbing the woman by the scruff of her neck and dragging her out of the room. He made sure to make a big scene, describing in detail just what the slutty woman had been intending to do to him, before throwing her out of the house in complete humiliation. The party broke up quickly after that, security ejecting two more gold-diggers from Tyr's room. Mind made up that he would seduce his lady no matter what it took, he settled down to sleep.