Something Good
"I may not comprehend, may not remember." And he: "I am not eager to rehearse my thoughts and theory which you have forgotten."
~ T.S. Eliot
Sylvie and I remained silent for a long while after viewing what transpired in the dungeons. The sheer mental struggle the other Loki felt, the torturous rune burned into his back, I knew. I knew it deep in my soul, and living that moment, re-living his memories, for unfortunately while Sylvie merely viewed, I could also sense his memories, his feelings. My own soul felt burdened down with what was.
"Loki?" Sylvie murmured.
"Hmm?"
"Are you okay?"
"I'll live."
"The rune, the Kenaz? You still bear it between your shoulders."
"I suppose I do." I frowned. "I hadn't thought of it. It stopped affecting me when I came to the TVA."
"It's dark magic was cancelled out." Sylvie deduced and I nodded.
"I guess so."
"Can I see if it's still there?"
"If you must." I raised a brow at her. She hoped up, and ducking around the back of the throne, proceeded to shift my cloak, and slip her hand beneath my garments and down my spine, eliciting a shiver from me. Her fingers brushed lightly between my shoulders and heat flared, and I jerked forward. "Ow!" I grit out, closing my eyes, pushing back a swirling nausea of memories.
"Sorry, I wanted to check if it had perhaps faded or had vanished."
"Still there, and still apparently active."
"Sigyn will need to do what she did to the other Loki's." Sylvie said, voice having taken on a shake. She came to face with me once more, looking uncomfortable. "I'm sorry you went through that."
"He did, not me."
"No, I'm sorry you went through what they did to you." She clarified softly. I shrugged. "Do you think Sigyn went to Odin?"
"Only one way to find out." I picked up her branch.
Asgard 616
(sometime during Loki's imprisonment)
"You wished to speak with me, dear?" Odin's tone was doting, and it was clear he favoured Sigyn.
"Yes, Allfather." Sigyn rose from a curtsey, and twisted her hands together. "It was I who volunteered to check in on Loki to fulfil Queen Frigga's request."
"I see." Odin frowned from where he sat upon his throne. "Did harm come to you, child?"
"No, no, nothing like that." Sigyn hurried out. "It was brought to my attention harm has been brought to Loki. Harm I do not think anyone was aware of when he was brought back from Midgard."
"What kind of harm?"
"He was subjected to heat torture. Given his heritage, no form of torture would have been crueller." She explained.
"And he told you this?" Odin raised a brow. Sigyn swallowed hard. "He is a very talented liar." Odin commented. "And would have no qualms with spinning a sorry tale to pull at a soft women's heart." Sigyn's hands fisted.
"He said nothing, I figured it out myself at his trial. He looked unwell, and he was sweating. Did you not notice how ill he fared?" She added, a touch of challenge in her voice.
"Indeed I did." Odin replied as if they discussed the weather. Out of old habits, my teeth clenched.
"Then why was nothing done? Why did no one enquire to what ailed him?"
"Because it is his burden to suffer for the suffering he caused others, the lives he has destroyed."
"I think he was tortured into compliance." Sigyn replied. "Does that mean nothing to you?" Odin remained silent. "Using dark seidr, someone branded the rune, Kenaz, upon him, to torture him.
"And you've seen this rune?"
"I have seen it for myself." She bit out, clearly upset by Odin's reaction. How could she have expected anything different?
"And what do you propose I do about it?" Sigyn was treading into dark waters, but still she held herself regally.
"A re-trial. This time, taking into account the torture Loki endured. Why would he be tortured, if not to force him into doing something he did not fully agree to? I believe there is far more to what happened on Midgard." A warmth filled my chest, at her fighting words. Her absolute defence of me. Standing up to Odin, very few dared.
"And should we not see to this torture still inflicted upon him?" Odin said, his one eyed gaze boring into hers, causing Sigyn to look down.
"I umm..." She faltered, hands twisting together once more. "I already negated the rune and ended any further torment to his body or mind." She murmured, a hint of fear in her voice now. The end of Odin's spear, gilgunir slammed hard into the marble floor, a great crack resounding around the throne hall, and Sigyn physically jumped in fright.
"And who gave you leave to use your rune seidr on a prisoner?" His voice hardened further.
"No one, my King." She whispered.
"Do you realise to aid a prisoner without leave is treason?" Sigyn's face physically paled, but somehow she held her ground.
"I was only trying to help ease a torture I realised Loki had revealed to no one. I thought it unfair he had to suffer it on top of the penalty for his crimes. I meant no disrespect, and certainly no ill to Asgard."
"His suffering was noted upon his arrival to Asgard." Odin said, and my blood froze. Odin had known? "Loki had every opportunity to speak his truth, except he chose to march back to Asgard and play the thwarted conquerer, the hard done by." Sigyn said nothing, but gave a sharp nod. "You will not aid him again, Sigyn." Odin warned. "If you do, I'll strip your runes myself."
"Yes, my King." Sigyn replied with a definite shake to her voice.
"You are dismissed." With a less composed curtsy than when she had arrived, Sigyn rushed from the throne room, eyes bright with tears and sadness, mouth set in anger.
~~
I leaned back and let out a long breath. So far, Sigyn had only proven there might have been something developing between herself and the original version of myself.
"She doesn't look like she's finished with you." Sylvie commented, her tone flat. Before I had a chance to argue, a time door appeared and Mobius practically skipped through it.
"Oh, don't you two look nice and cosy?" He chortled upon seeing us.
"And aren't you in a chipper mood?" Sylvie muttered, jumping up from her seat beside me and stalking towards the remaining smoothie on the table. She brought the drink to me.
"Thanks." I took it from her. She glanced warily at Mobius then back at me.
"I'll find something else for you to eat, and be back shortly."
"I'm fine, really..." I trailed off at her pointed look.
"I felt more than a rune, Loki. I'm finding more food."
"Okay." I nodded, watching her go. Mobius stood, arms crossed, assessing me.
"Is everything alright between you two? She seems pissed off. Well, more pissed off than she usually is."
"It will be fine, we've been looking into my thread, from what I never experienced."
"And how's that going?"
"Terrible, yet, insightful." I muttered. "It was her idea."
"Why?"
"You really don't want to know."
"Oh yeah? Try me?"
"No, really." I insisted.
"Alright, if you say so." Mobius shrugged, and then glanced at an analogue watch on his wrist, his expression turning impatient.
"How long until you meet Sigyn?"
"There's still eight and a half hours until I..." He paused, eyes narrowing. "How do you know-wait-were you watching us?" He accused and I tried sucking my lips in to hide my smile but failed.
"She likes you." I commented, hoping beyond all hope it would remain that way.
"And I like her, a lot. More than I should." Mobius groaned.
"Is that a problem?"
"Yes, it's a problem. I belong here, and in the TVA. She belongs back on her timeline, back with her people."
Remember when you said you were afraid of finding out your life on the timeline was something good?"
"Yes, and it was!"
"Sigyn is that something good, something great even. You can both have a life, at the TVA and on a branch. Hers, yours, any really.
"Not my branch."
"Okay, true, not your branch, but anywhere else. The TVA is only a time door away."
"Perhaps." Mobius mulled over my suggestion.
"Do you have a home at the TVA?" I asked, never having thought about it before, and had never looked.
"Yeah, the TVA."
"No, I mean a home, a house of your own?"
"Yeah, of course." He replied with a look which suggested I sounded like an idiot for asking.
"Okay, but is it a home, or just a house? Or, is the TVA more your home?"
"Where are you going with this?"
"I'm not actually sure, but answer the question."
"The TVA." He sighed. The TVA is home to me.
"Me too." I admitted, and Mobius looked up at me.
"We all miss you. I miss you. It was nice having you on the other end of the tempad in Egypt. Nearly like old times."
"I miss it too."
"O.B is onto something, I'm confident it will work."
"Oh yes, what was the thing you and Sigyn figured out would help with his, Infinity loop?"
"Ah, you'll have to wait and see, but I promise, you are going to love being reunited with it." There was a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes, and my own narrowed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He merely grinned, and Sylvie's return with an enormous platter of food ended the conversation.
"Where did you get all that?" Mobius's eyes widened at the full pork roast and accompanying vegetables." Sylvie merely grinned at me.
"You're not the only one who can raid Asgardian feasts. Oh, and you're red headed counterpart says hello."
"You spoke to him?"
"Of course not." Sylvie snorted. "I don't have a death wish. "He's uh, well they're married now." She added quieter and I stilled. Married? It was nothing new, I'd witnessed the very same scenario on enough branches earlier, but it was the defeat colouring Sylvie's voice. Of all the branches, all the Asgards, 26283's Loki and Sigyn felt the closest to my old self, and to my Sigyn. No! I let out a groan, I had to stop that. I didn't even understand where the mindset came from? My skin prickled, as it had been on and off since Sylvie had touched the forgotten rune between my shoulders and inadvertently activated it. I wouldn't tell her, but I would seek Sigyn's help to negate it as she had to the original Loki. I closed my eyes, knowing I needed to resume our trip down a memory lane I had never walked.
"Well uh, I'll leave you two kids to it." Mobius spoke and I glanced up, noting how he looked between Sylvie and I with a bemused smile. I wanted to tell him my current fears, but I didn't want to instil those fears, those doubts as Sylvie had, in him too. Whatever I found in my thread, it could affect us all.
"Think on what I said." I urged, for both his sake and my own. He stared at me a moment, expression changing to something I didn't quite understand.
"I will. I want that something good." A smile touched his lips, and I returned it as he disappeared through a time door.
"What was that about?"
"I told him Sigyn could be the something good in his life, if he's willing to go after it."
"And he is." Sylvie deduced.
"I'd say so. He really likes her. There's something there. It just, well, from what we've seen, what I've seen, it looks easy for them. Natural."
Sylvie turned to gaze sceptically at me. "Whatever she has with you looks easy and natural too."
"Firstly, that wasn't me."
"But, it kind of was." There was that knowing sadness in the way her lips tilted up in a small smile. There would be no winning this argument with words alone. This, fight. This, whatever the Hel this was. Shaking my head, I summoned my own thread and sought out the next memory of Sigyn.
Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.
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