Don't mind me, I'm just a "little" oneshot that has been occupying my writer's mind for months now, so she decided to finally get me out of it.
This is inspired by Kate's line in s4e12 "Cuffed" when she tells Castle they should sign up for the three-legged race at the next NYPD picnic. I couldn't help but imagine that scenario, and this little story is what my mind came up with while thinking about it. It is set sometime between "Cuffed" and the episode where Castle finds out Kate remembered what he told her when she was shot.
While I wrote this, I listened to my favorite album by my favorite artist over and over again. And maybe some of the lyrics inspired some of the actions and words of the characters. But since there are people here who like to call out stories for using song lyrics I would like to stress that I did NOT copy any lyrics or pretend they were my work. But getting inspired by music and paraphrasing lyrics or even repeating some common phrases isn't a crime.
I would love to have you guess which album and artist I'm talking about. And if there's someone who gets it right without looking at the solution at the end of this story, let me know!
Apart from that, enjoy and let me know what you think!
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Kate took a quick step through the subway door before it had a chance to close again. The platform was crowded, no wonder on a Saturday afternoon with weather like this. People wanted to get out in all different directions and catch a few of the last sunrays this summer had to offer before it would eventually turn into fall soon.
She made her way up the stairs along with the other people wanting to get to the street. Most of them probably had the same destination as her to spend some time at the Central Park. Usually, she wouldn't be someone to head to Central Park on a day like this, especially when so many people would have the same idea. No, she would prefer someplace quieter and less crowded.
But today, she didn't really have a choice. Of course, no one could force her to attend the annual NYPD picnic. But since the whole team was going, she didn't want to be the one to kill the other's fun. She even had to admit that most times, these picnics turned out quite funny, so why not give it a chance.
Walking out onto the street, the crowd spread a little, and Kate felt more comfortable. Casually putting her hands into the pockets of the light jacket she was wearing, she made her way down the street, the park now within walking distance.
She hadn't even walked ten steps when she heard a familiar voice over the noise of the street calling her name.
"Beckett! Hey Beckett, wait!"
The smile spread over her lips before she even turned around. When she did, he had almost run up to her, a little out of breath but grinning at her.
"I saw you were on the same train, just a different wagon," Castle said between a couple of heavy breaths.
Surprised, Kate arched her brows at him. "You took the train? I don't think I heard you ever did that in four years."
Castle shrugged his shoulders and fastened his grip on the basket he held under his arm. The confusion on Kate's face grew even deeper.
"What is that?" She nodded at the basket as she slowly started walking again, waiting for him to follow her. "You look like you're on your way to visit your grandmother on the other side of the deep, dark woods. Have you forgotten your cape?"
Her joke didn't seem to affect his great mood one bit. "Well, we're having a picnic, so I figured I could bring my picnic basket. Alexis gifted it to me on my birthday when she was ten. We loved to go and have a picnic when she was little. It's good to get to use it again."
Her teasing smile turned into a soft and compassionate one at the hint of sadness in his voice. "But Castle, you realize there will be tables and everything, right? You won't need that or the blanket." She pointed to the piece of fabric tied to the bottom of the basket.
Castle's smile faded a little. "Oh, really? But won't that kill the mood?"
Kate chuckled softly. "I think the mood would more likely be killed if hundreds of middle-aged cops would have to sit on the ground for hours. At the end of the picnic, the mood probably wouldn't be the only thing dead, meaning only more work for us."
Castle's grin returned to his lips. "Then I guess it's better that way. Still, nothing beats a real picnic. You know, I'm a master at packing the best picnic baskets."
Kate rolled her eyes but laughed. "Is there anything you aren't a master at, Castle?"
With another shrug of his shoulders, he pretended there wasn't anything he could think about. "If you need proof, I would love to show you some other weekend before the weather turns to cold and rain again."
Kate softly bit her bottom lip, barely daring to look over at him and his expectant expression. Hints like these had come up more and more often over the last few weeks. And slowly, they started to feel a little bit less intimidating.
"Maybe." She replied with a pounding heart. It felt incredibly strange to admit to one of his invitations, even if it was a maybe, not a yes. But it wasn't a no anymore. She didn't feel like no anymore. But what exactly she felt, she still had no idea.
But what she knew for sure was that she loved the way his face lit up at her answer.
"Really?" His voice sounded excited, but he quickly brought it back under control. "Then let me know. Whenever you are free."
Kate replied with a soft nod and a crooked smile. Oh yes, it felt strange. But it didn't feel wrong.
They had almost reached the park, and Kate started to recognize some of the faces heading in the same direction as them. Not soon after they walked down one of the park's gravel paths, she spotted the rows of tables set up just like the years before.
As they got closer, she scanned the people already sitting at the tables or standing in small groups on the grass, most of them already with drinks in hand. After a couple of seconds, she spotted Ryan and, next to him, Esposito.
She nudged her elbow into Castle's side. He seemed a little lost in thought, and for a moment, she wondered if it maybe was because of her sudden sort-of agreement to go on a picnic with him. Pointing her finger over to Ryan and Esposito, he nodded, and they changed their direction to walk over to the rest of their team.
Kate's own thoughts trailed off to what doing something like a picnic alone with Castle could mean or, better, what it could lead to. But she didn't have enough time to wrap her mind around it before they reached Esposito and Ryan.
Esposito's gaze immediately fell to the basket under Castle's arm, but Castle lifted a defensive hand before Esposito could even begin to speak. "Don't worry, I've already been mocked. No need to come up with anything yourself."
Castle placed the basket on one of the benches by the tables and pulled two beers from the coolbox on the table in front of him. Opening them while walking over to the team, he handed Kate one of the bottles with a little smile, getting a bright one in return.
"So, what's the plan now?" He asked, trying to get the attention away from him and his picnic basket.
Ryan pointed over to a dark-skinned man in a suit on the other side of the meadow. "The Commissioner will hold a little speech, then there's food, and then…"
"… then the games begin." Esposito interrupted him, and it was hard to tell if he was looking ambitious or despising the idea of having to participate in these games. "For three years now, these idiots from 14th won these stupid games. I won't have them winning again this year."
Castle raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Wow, a little competitive, aren't we?"
Esposito answered with a stiff shrug of his shoulders while taking a sip of his beer.
"So, there are multiple games, and the precinct that wins most of them is the overall winner?"
Ryan nodded. "Yeah. The last time our precinct won was the year before Javi and I started there."
"Well, you could have invited me to this picnic at some point earlier these past three years, I surely would have been helpful," Castle replied with an accusing tone, and Esposito almost snorted out his beer.
Kate rolled her eyes and took a grasp on Castle's sleeve before he could start a comeback at Esposito. "Come on guys, let's sit down. I think the speech is about to start."
They took a seat on opposite benches, Castle sitting next to Kate, and she barely caught a word of the Commissioner's speech. Her mind was too busy with feeling Castle's proximity so clearly, like she had done a lot in the last few weeks. She was somehow much more aware of him most of the time. She just hoped he didn't notice. At least not as long as she figured out how to deal with all it caused.
Applause tore her out of her thoughts, and a little startled, she joined in the clapping as the Commissioner shut off his microphone. The people around her started to move, getting food from the buffet on the other side of the meadow.
She got up with the rest of the team, and they lined up between the other cops, exchanging greetings and a little small talk here and there. With filled plates, they returned to their seats and started eating. Soon, the conversation started, easy and uncomplicated, even funny.
Just what Kate needed to keep her mind from circling around the man sitting beside her, his presence still awfully aware to her.
"So," Esposito started, "Did you sign up for any of the games?" He looked from Kate to Castle, an expectant expression on his face.
Kate just shook his head, and Esposito looked almost a little offended. "Beckett, how are we ever supposed to get a win at this when you never sign up for anything?"
Kate laughed at him and finished her beer. "Just maybe you should reconsider the priority this win has to you. You seem a little stressed."
Esposito huffed. "I'm not stressed. I just like to win." He turned to Castle. "What about you, Castle?"
A mischievous smirk snug to Castle's lips, and he glanced over at Kate. "Actually…" he started but was suddenly interrupted by a loud static noise, causing everyone to wince and look back to the podium again.
"Now that our bellies are full, we should proceed with the part of this event all of you are looking most forward to. Let the games begin!" A middle-aged woman said into the microphone with a grin on her face.
Clapping erupted among the cops, and all Kate could do was shake her head. She just didn't get why everyone seemed to be so engaged in these games. She had fun watching, yes, but participating? Never.
"Traditionally, we're going to start with the three-legged race. Is there anyone who would like to sign up last minute? Remember, the more of you participate, the higher the chances your precinct might win!" The blonde woman looked around the rows of tables but found nothing but shaking heads. "Alright, then I'll just read out the teams that signed up in advance, and you'll come forward."
A few people already stood up before she even started to read out the names. Kate wondered once more what kind of people would voluntarily do something so stupid. But well, she would have her fun watching them.
Castle cleared his throat beside her. "Actually, I meant to tell you before, but…"
"And for the 12th precinct, we have Detectives Ryan and Esposito and Detective Beckett with Mr. Castle!" The blonde woman called into the microphone, causing Kate's jaw to drop.
She stared at Castle in horror. "Castle, you didn't!"
"You signed us up, too? Are you nuts?" Esposito called while three shocked pairs of eyes stared at Castle, who defensively raised his hands.
"Hey! I meant to tell you! But I didn't get the chance!" He tried, but Kate interrupted him before he could properly explain himself.
"Oh, that chance would have been the moment you signed us up so that I could have told you to take it back right then!"
"You were the one who proposed it in the first place!" Castle shot back.
"What?" Kate's expression was a mixture of confusion and anger. "Never!"
"Yes, you did!" Castle shook his head and slowly let his hands sink. "Don't you remember? A few weeks ago, when we were locked in with the tiger, well, it was before the tiger, but when we were cuffed. You said we should sign up for the three-legged race."
With her mouth still slightly ajar, she stared at him, shaking her head in disbelief. Tearing herself out of her shocked freeze, she pinched the bridge of her nose and squinted her eyes.
"Castle, that was a joke! How could you have thought I meant that seriously?"
"Yeah, and why drag us into this?" Esposito interfered, looking just as angry as Kate.
"Because I thought it might be fun! And I don't even know what your problem is." Castle nodded towards Esposito. "Only minutes ago, you bragged about how important it is to you that the 12th wins. How, if no one participates?"
Esposito's cheeks turned slightly red. "There are other games to participate in." He said through gritted teeth. "Only idiots do this race."
"I think Castle's right," Ryan said and earned irritated stares from Kate and Esposito, which didn't seem to bother him. "I mean, it could help us win, and actually, it might be fun when the whole team participates."
"You guys from the 12th, are you coming?" The woman on the podium interrupted them again. Ryan got up together with Castle, both men looking expectantly at the other members of their team.
With a deep sigh, Kate let her head sink. "Fine." She hissed and got up. Castle held out his hand to help her out of her bench, and even though she didn't want to, she took it, throwing him a warning glance. "If you somehow embarrass me in front of the whole NYPD, I'm going to castrate you."
Castle grinned at her in response. "Oh, don't worry. We're trained. I think we got good chances."
Kate huffed and let go of his hand. All four of them walked over to the podium, where a few other teams had already gotten their legs tied together.
"Hey, Castle," Esposito called over while a young officer tied his leg to Ryan's. "If we have to do this, then let's do it with a bet!"
With raised eyebrows, Castle nodded and placed his leg close to Kate's, so that another officer could tie them together, too.
"You and Beckett win; we'll do your paperwork for a week."
"Two weeks!" Kate shot back, Esposito clenching his jaw in response.
"Fine." He answered after a brief pause. "Two weeks. But if we win, you do ours for two weeks, and you'll get both of us a presale version of the new game."
"And what if none of us wins?" Castle asked, shaking his leg to test whether the rope around his ankle was tight enough until Kate stopped him with a slight slap to his chest.
"Believe me, we're gonna win this thing," Esposito answered, and something in the complacent tone of his voice triggered Kate.
"Why so sure, Espo? You secretly practiced?"
Esposito ignored her. "So, it's a deal?"
Both, Kate and Castle nodded their heads. "Get ready to spend long nights at the precinct, boys." Kate teased as the officer who had tied them together led them a little bit backward, so they formed a straight line together with the other teams.
"Speak for yourself!" Esposito shouted back as the woman on the podium held a NYPD flag up into the air and started counting into the microphone.
"Three." Kate felt her body tensing as she repositioned her leg to get a better grip on the ground.
"Two." Suddenly, Castle's hand wrapped around hers, and for a heartbeat, she was shocked but quickly realized it would be easier that way.
"One." She returned the squeeze of his hand and took a deep breath, her eyes glued to the grass in front of them.
"GO!" Instantly, they started moving like all of the other teams around them.
The first few steps were clumsy, almost making them trip a couple of times. A few teams actually did. But then, they somehow found a rhythm that worked, and as the first team to figure out their rhythm, they quickly built some distance from the teams behind them.
"Ha! We're winning!" Castle called, throwing a glance over his shoulder.
"Don't look back, Castle!" Kate shouted, but it was too late already. The moment Castle turned his head back around, he lost his balance for a second, breaking their rhythm, and with the pace they were running, it caused them to crush onto the ground with blunt force.
Kate stopped her fall with her hands just at the last moment while Castle fell on his shoulder beside her, letting out a scream. She barely even noticed the other teams passing them by, but she did hear Esposito and Ryan laughing when they crossed the finish line first.
Taking a second to concentrate on her body, to see if anything was hurting, she was relieved that all the pain she felt was coming from a few little scratches on her palms. She pushed herself up and blew her hair out of her face to get a look at Castle.
"You okay?" She mumbled, trying to come to a sitting position, but Castle winced as she moved her leg, which was still tied to his.
"Fine." He managed through gritted teeth, his eyes squeezed shut. Taking a deep breath, he opened them and pushed himself up to reach the rope around their ankles. He quickly opened the knot and pulled his leg away from Kate, who sat up beside him.
"Really?" She asked again, and he forced herself to look at her with a little smile.
"Yeah." He replied, but it didn't come out as convincing as he had intended it to.
"You should have kept your eyes on the track!" Kate muttered, getting up and brushing the remains of grass and dirt from her clothes.
"I know, I'm sorry," Castle mumbled as he took the hand Kate held out to him, pulling him up.
He winced again as he put a little weight on his right leg but quickly hid the pain written over his face before she could notice.
"Now we'll have to do their damn paperwork. And listen to their jokes for weeks!" Kate groaned as she walked back to their spot at the table. Castle followed her with a limp, putting as little pressure on his right foot as possible.
"I know. It's my fault. I promise I'll help you."
"Help me?" Kate shot back, throwing him a glare over her shoulder. "Oh no, my friend, you got us into this, you'll pay for it. All I will do is put my sign under that paperwork you will do while I sip coffee and read my book."
Castle didn't reply. He knew she was right, and the sharp arrows of pain shooting through his ankle were somewhat distracting. He let himself fall back on the bench beside her, and within a minute, Ryan and Esposito returned, too.
It didn't even take them a breath to start laughing at them, Esposito acting out how Castle had looked and screamed while falling. Pretending to be good losers, Kate and Castle laughed along, and after a while, Ryan and Esposito seemed to get bored by their jokes.
The rest of the afternoon was quite amusing again, with Esposito actually participating in a couple of other games, winning most of them. And when he got to walk up to the podium to receive the little bow as a representation of the 12th precinct winning this year's NYPD picnic championship, he looked almost a little too proud.
The afternoon turned into evening, and as the sun slowly started to set, it became a little cold. Ryan proposed to grab a few drinks with some of the other people from the 12th, but Kate reclined. As much as she liked all of them, she looked forward to getting to spend at least a few hours of her weekend in the calmness of her apartment to relax a little.
"I'm out, too," Castle said and received surprised glances from Ryan and Esposito, who weren't used to Castle ever missing out on a chance to grab a drink.
He shrugged his shoulders in response. "Tired. It's been a long week."
Ryan and Esposito nodded, not seeming quite convinced. But soon, they said their goodbyes and headed off with a few other members of the 12th precinct, leaving Kate and Castle behind.
"Are you taking the train back home?" Kate asked while getting up.
Castle weighed his head from left to right but then shook it. "Nah, I think I'm going to grab a cap."
Kate raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Why's that? Got tired of the normal people's life already, Castle?" She teased with a smile.
Again, he shook his head, and looking at his pale face, Kate realized there had to be something wrong.
"What is it, Castle?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips.
"Nothing!" He replied in his most nonchalant, innocent tone.
"Castle." Her voice, combined with her stare, didn't leave any room for discussion.
With a sigh, he gave in. "I might have hurt my foot a little when we fell."
Kate furrowed her brows and glanced down at his foot, hidden under the table. "What do you mean, a little? You said you were fine."
He sighed again, looking down himself. "Yeah, that wasn't true." He started reluctantly. "It's like a little much, like meaning I can't really walk, I think."
Now Kate's brows shot up in shock. "Castle, why didn't you say anything?"
He kept his eyes down and muttered, "I didn't want to bother you after I had already embarrassed you."
Shaking her head, Kate sat down beside him again. "Don't be silly." She said, her voice softer now. "Show me your foot."
With a little hesitance and a grimace on his face, Castle pulled up his foot to carefully rest it on the bench. With tender fingers, almost scared to touch and hurt him, Kate shoved up the rim of his pants a little, gasping when she saw the blue color spreading from his ankle.
"Castle, that looks bad. You need to see a doctor with that!"
She reached out to trace her fingers over the bruised skin, but he pulled his leg away before she could touch him and waved off her comment.
"No, it's fine. Just a little bit of ice, and I'll be as new tomorrow."
Kate firmly shook her head. "I don't think so. And I won't let you go home like this."
Castle arched one brow with a teasing smile. "Why so caring, Detective Beckett? Can't stand the thought I could be in pain?"
"Actually, no." She replied dryly, taking him by surprise and making him forget what he had wanted to say next.
She got up again and held out her hand to help him get up. "Come on, Castle." She said with a nod of her head. "I'm taking you to the hospital. No talking back."
Still taken aback by her answer from a few seconds ago, he got up without any resistance and let her help him climb out of the bench. She placed his arm around her shoulders and smiled up at him while she concentrated on holding the butterflies in her stomach under control.
He tried his best to rest his weight as little as possible on her, but his foot hurt like hell. There wasn't a chance she wouldn't notice.
"That bad, huh?" She sounded sincerely concerned, and he was touched by that. Something about her had seemed to change ever so slowly that he hadn't even noticed. She seemed… softer, nearer. Maybe it was just because of this situation, but he was sure, one year ago, she wouldn't have looked at him with that much worry on her face.
It made him smile, no matter how painful every movement of his foot was. "I'll live." He mumbled, and his heart jumped a little as she smiled back at him. Yes, something about her was different than it used to be, something between them.
Suddenly, she stopped and looked up at him with wide eyes. "We forgot your basket!" She called out, and before he could even say anything, she had let go of him carefully so that he could keep his balance on one foot and hurried back down the path.
He watched her grabbing the basket and jogging back to him. "Thanks." He smiled as she reached him, offering him her shoulder for support again.
"Of course. Couldn't leave it here when it's so important to you." She shot him a grin that looked a little insecure. "And you promised me a picnic, remember?"
His heart pounded against his ribcage as his head started to spin a little. What was going on? Why was she suddenly so open? His arm lying around her shoulders, he felt so close to her but not only physically.
They reached the exit of the park, and Kate led him to the side of the street, waving for a cap to stop. One of the yellow cars pulled over and stopped before them. She opened the door and got into the backseat, placing his basket beside herself.
Confused and unable to move through it, he stared at her sitting in the backseat. She looked up at him, a puzzled look on her face as well. "What?" She asked, and Castle slightly furrowed his brow.
"What are you doing?" Kate's frown deepened, and she shrugged her shoulders.
"I'm taking you to the hospital like I told you."
Castle slightly shook his head, still not able to get a grip on what was going on between them today. "You mean you are coming with me?"
Suddenly Kate blushed a little and lowered her gaze. She hadn't even questioned whether he would want her to come along. "Um, yeah, I thought it might be nice if you would let me keep you company. The waiting hours at the emergency room can be long if you're not close to death."
The uncertainty in her voice, the flush on her cheeks, Castle couldn't understand it, and he couldn't believe it either. But he didn't want to question it but just enjoy it.
"Of course! That would be great!" Clumsy so as not to hit his injured foot, he climbed onto the backseat, too, and shut the door behind him. He looked over at her and found her still smiling softly. He felt the need to say something.
"Thank you, Beckett. I appreciate it."
She reached out her hand over the basket and softly took hold of his. "Of course." She mumbled, the crimson on her face still in place. "We're partners. We need to have each other's backs."
With sparks of joy taking flight in his stomach, he squeezed her hand back and smiled down at their intertwined fingers. "Yeah, we do."
"Where you headed?" The driver interrupted the moment with his heavy East European accent.
A little startled, Kate pulled her hand away and faced the driver through the rearview mirror. "Um, the next hospital with an emergency room, please."
The driver nodded as he popped a bubble of his chewing gum and then steered the car back into the busy traffic. The drive only took ten minutes, which they spent in comfortable silence. Kate looked out of the window, and Castle pretended to do so, too. But once and again, his gaze shifted over to her, taking in her profile.
Now that he thought of it, maybe it wasn't just today. Maybe these tiny changes had started sooner already. He just hadn't noticed them or thought of them as something meaningful. But just a week ago, when his mother had performed her one-woman show for them in his living room, hadn't she taken hold of his hand as well?
A casual touch but not casual for her. No, those little things had somehow sneaked into their relationship, and he was baffled by the way he couldn't have noticed. When he looked at her once again, he thought that maybe his heart was trying to protect himself by not getting his hopes up over little things like that.
But today, hadn't something been different today? He wasn't sure. Maybe it was just the same stupid heart now playing a trick on him because he wished so badly for something to change between them. Something to make him brave enough to take the next step.
But she was here. On the way to the hospital with him, even though she wouldn't need to. And she had accepted his invitation to take her on a picnic. That had been a joke, but now it was more than serious to him. And she had even reminded him of it. So it couldn't be just a joke for her, couldn't it?
The spinning of his thoughts was stopped when the cap came to a stand in front of the hospital's emergency room. Kate reached out to the front and handed the driver some money.
"Hey!" Castle said. "I'll pay that. We're here because of me."
Kate rolled her eyes with a little laugh as she opened her door. "It's fine, Castle. Just promise me you won't cry like a baby as soon as a doctor touches your foot, and we'll be even, okay?"
Castle pouted his lips a little, pretending to be hurt. "No, I won't." He said, getting out of the car, too. "But I would have every right to do so because it really hurts like hell."
As he finished the sentence, she was already by his side again, his basket in one of her hands, the other one grabbing his arm to place it around her shoulders again.
"Oh, poor thing." She smirked up at him. "But maybe it's a lesson to you, Castle. Stupid games make you win stupid prizes."
He kept his offended mask in place, but underneath it, he felt like he wanted to grin like the happiest man on earth. If the prize was an evening like this with her, filled with all these little things that suddenly made his heart flutter in anticipation of what they could mean, it was worth every bit of pain.
Kate supported him all the way to the counter of the emergency room, where she slowly let go of him again. "Good evening," she said to the friendly-looking young nurse behind the counter. "I'm Detective Beckett, this is my partner, Mr. Castle. He hurt his foot while…" She quickly glanced up at him, and he could tell she was struggling to suppress a smile.
"Um, while on duty." She finished, and Castle felt the corners of his mouth wanting to lift, too.
The dark-haired woman looked up at him with a friendly smile and held out a little board with a few sheets of paper on it. "Please fill out these and hand them back. A doctor will take a look at your foot as soon as possible."
They thanked her, and Castle hopped over the few feet to the row of chairs next to the counter where a couple of other people were already waiting. Kate took a seat beside him and remained silent while he filled out the papers.
When he was finished and pinned the pen back to the top of the board, she took it out of his hands with a slight smile. "I'll do that." She said, her voice so low it was almost a whisper.
He smiled at her, and his gaze followed her as she walked over to the counter. He longed to ask her why she was here, but he wouldn't. At least not here in the crowded emergency room of the hospital.
She walked back to him but didn't sit down again. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, looking a little insecure. "Would you like something to drink?" She asked and pointed over to the vending machine at the other end of the room.
He softly shook his head. "I don't suppose they have bourbon there or whisky." A smirk spread over his lips, and she returned it.
"That would be quite unprofessional for a hospital." She replied as she sank to her seat beside him again. At her feet stood his basket, and after eyeing it for a while, she looked up at him with an arched brow. "Do you mind?"
He shook his head and watched her as she opened the basket and started to laugh softly, making his heart melt a little. "Well, Castle, at least we won't starve while waiting here." She pulled out a little box from the basket and opened the lid. With the grin still on her face, she put one of the strawberries into her mouth and then held out the box to him.
With a soft shaking of his head, he declined. He didn't feel like eating. The turmoil of feelings in his stomach, mixed with thousands of butterflies going crazy, was enough for him right now. She didn't seem to have that problem, though, and finished the whole box of strawberries while they waited. Castle couldn't tear his eyes away from her for even one second.
"Mr. Castle?" A male voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts of how terribly tempting her lips looked when biting into one of the red berries. He swallowed and followed Kate's gaze to a middle-aged doctor standing by the counter, holding the board with papers in hand that Castle had filled out earlier.
With a little cough to clear his throat, he raised his hand. "Here." He got up and looked back at Kate before he followed the doctor.
"I'll wait here. Don't worry, I'm good." She tapped her foot against the basket and grinned.
He returned her grin and then limped off to follow the doctor into one of the examination rooms. Kate's gaze followed him and even remained on the door as he had long closed it behind himself.
After staring at the door for a full minute for the first time that day, the thought of what she was doing here crossed her mind. Why was she sitting here in the middle of the emergency room after 9 pm just because Castle needed to get his foot fixed?
For the same reason, you accepted his invitation to go on a picnic. The voice in her head whispered. Because you care about him and you want to be where he is. Especially when he's not feeling well.
She ran her hands over her face to quiet the little voice and the truth it told. She knew these things, had known them for a while already. And for a while, she had been working on accepting them and letting them grow. But now, as they slowly and yet so suddenly became so present, they scared her.
But hadn't that exactly been her goal? One of the main reasons why she went to therapy every week? To finally learn to accept what she was feeling and allow her feelings to have an influence on her life?
Yes. But she hadn't expected them to lead her here after a day like this. And still, she wanted to be here. She wanted to make sure he was okay. And so she waited.
It took Castle almost thirty minutes to come back from the examination room, and when he did, he limped through the door with a big black boot on his foot. Kate stared at it with a frown on her face and looked up at his face, he didn't look happy at all.
"What's that?" She asked and pointed to the boot that looked very ungraceful, but at least it seemed like he could walk again wearing it.
He came to a stand before her and held the foot with the black boot into the air, wiggling it a little. "My ankle is sprained, and now I get to wear this baby for two weeks. Oh, how wonderful these two weeks at work will be. Boot and paperwork. Fantastic."
Kate slightly chuckled at the dryness in his voice and the fretful expression on his face.
"Yeah, yeah. You can laugh." He huffed as he limped over to the exit of the emergency room.
Still laughing, Kate grabbed his basket from the floor and followed him, quickly reaching him again.
"Oh, come on, Castle. It could be worse. At least you're not on crutches."
He muttered something incoherent and stopped walking when they reached the spot in front of the hospital's entrance where a couple of caps were waiting for customers.
Turning to her, he forced the anger on his injury away and tried to smile again. Looking at her, it wasn't hard. "Anyway," He started. "Thank you for sitting through this with me, Kate." A little tense, he rubbed his palms against his hips before they could become sweaty.
Her heart jumped a little at the use of her first name. Not like he hadn't used it many times before, but the way he said it sounded just the slightest bit different today. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but it made warmth spread from her stomach to her entire body.
"No problem, Rick." She replied, and her heart stumbled in her chest again as she said his first name, too. She hadn't planned that. Her lips had just acted on their own account. But the smile on his face only made the excited feeling in her chest want to explode.
Her fingers twitched to reach out for him, but she held them back. Not here, in front of the hospital. She tore her eyes away from him and cleared her throat.
"So," She pointed over to one of the caps. "You're headed home now?"
Looking back at him, she saw him nodding. "You as well, I suppose?"
She nodded, too, and searched for something to say before the situation of a weird goodbye could come down on them, but he was faster.
"Except you would like to join me for a drink?" He damned his voice for sounding a little choked. The insecurity on her face and how she stayed silent for a couple of seconds was enough to make a lump form in his throat. Maybe he had been wrong all day and had let his hopes carry him away into some delusional dream.
She didn't look up at him right away when a soft smile spread over her lips. She desperately tried to get a grip on her feelings, find out what she wanted to do, what she should do. But the twirl of thoughts in her head was unable to come up with something clear. The only thing she was sure of was the feeling that she didn't want him to be anywhere else than she was right now.
"Why not?" She answered quietly, and Castle was glad he was wearing his boot. Otherwise, he would have probably started jumping up and down in excitement.
"Are you serious?" He asked with a smile full of disbelief.
She chuckled to cover up her own insecurity. "Yeah, otherwise, I would have said no."
She forced her legs to move before she could change her mind or start to panic. Reaching one of the cabs, she opened the door and looked back at him. He stared at her with amazement on his face, and it made her blush.
"Come on." She said and got into the car.
Taking a deep breath to calm his tingling nerves, he started moving. This was by far not the first time she would come to his place, he reminded himself. It wouldn't have to mean anything. But he couldn't shake off the feeling it could. Because today felt different. And it would be the first time they would be completely alone and without an excuse apart from wanting to spend time together.
The drive to his loft felt torturingly long. They chatted a little but nothing of importance at all, feeling like the driver was listening and trying to figure out what kind of relationship the two people in the backseat might have. If only I could tell you. Castle thought when the car pulled up into his street.
His nervousness was making dampness spread over his palms again, and he nondescriptly wiped them on his pants after he had paid the driver. His heart was beating like it wanted to jump right out of his chest. He wanted to walk around the car to open the door for her, but with the boot on his foot, he wasn't fast enough.
Kate had already emerged to the sidewalk when he reached her side. She looked at him and couldn't help but smile. She could tell he tried to hide it, but he was excited and nervous. Hell, she was too. Her heart was beating in her throat, and the tingling feeling in her stomach felt even stronger than it had all day.
Castle limped over to the door and held it open for her. She gave him a little smile as she walked by him into his building. He followed her inside when she suddenly stopped.
"Uh Uh." She said and pointed her finger to the elevator, a huge sign reading Out of service. "Seems like fate isn't working in your favor tonight."
Castle groaned, running a hand over his face. So he would have to climb six floors' worth of stairs with this boot and his still-hurting foot. Great. But more than anything, he wanted to bring Kate upstairs, for whatever it may be good. He wanted to spend time with her, absorb and explore this new feeling between them. Maybe fate was working in his favor, and he wanted to test it.
"Well, then let's go. I might make it before midnight." He grumbled and headed for the stairs.
He did his best to hurry, but it wasn't easy. And with every floor, the pain in his foot became worse. Kate always stayed behind him, making a joke she would catch him if he fell, but he was too busy concentrating on his steps to laugh.
When they finally reached his floor and made their way towards his door, he felt like thousands of knives were stabbing his ankle, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hide the pain from his face.
His fingers were trembling slightly when he tried to get the keys into the lock. Suddenly, Kate's warm hand was on his, wordlessly taking the keys from his hand and shoving them into the lock, opening the door with a little click.
"Hurts bad?" She asked, her voice filled with sincere sympathy.
He nodded but couldn't fight a smile, no matter the pain in his foot.
"Didn't they give you any painkillers?"
He shook his head as he held the door open for her to walk through. "Didn't want any." When the doctor had offered some to him, he had already hoped he could convince her to take a drink together. And he hadn't wanted to risk getting high on a combination of alcohol and drugs.
She looked at him in surprise, and he chuckled. "But you could always try to kiss the pain away, Detective." Jokes like these used to feel easier. Now, he was almost scared she would agree and send his mind into madness.
Kate laughed, feeling her heart flutter. "I don't think kisses help against sprained ankles, Castle."
"You wouldn't necessarily have to kiss the ankle." He shot back, and a knot of nervousness and anticipation formed in his stomach.
She bit her bottom lip in the way that almost drove him crazy, but didn't look up at him. When she turned to walk further into the loft, he thought he heard her mumble something like, "We'll see." Now, he was sure his mind was playing tricks on him.
He watched her walk over to his shelf with liquor and surveying the bottles with a slight drop of his jaw. She grabbed a whisky bottle and took two glasses from the little table by the shelf. Pouring a little of the amber liquid into them, she closed the bottle and put it back into its place. Without looking at him, she picked up the glasses and walked over to his couch, sitting down with her back turned to him.
His mouth was dry, his mind blank. All he could come up with was to close the door behind him before he slowly started to approach her. The way she sat there on his couch like she belonged there, the soft curls of her hair shimmering in the dim light of the living room, and her slender fingers slowly running through them. Maybe the doctor had given him drugs, some of the heavy kind that made him hallucinate.
"Come here." Her voice was low and soft, but he was sure he wasn't just imagining it. With a racing heart, he walked the last few steps to her and sat down beside her, leaving enough space between them to get to look at her.
Her gaze was lowered to the glass in her hands as she made the liquid swirl in slow circles with the movement of her hands. She remained silent, and he did, too. The silence between them felt heavy but promising and they let it built up until Kate was the first one to give in to its pressure.
"You know, Castle, I know I'm a handful. And I know dealing with me over the last few years has been frustrating for you in so many ways." She kept staring down at her glass, and he wasn't sure whether she expected him to respond, but he wanted to.
"You're right. Still, I enjoy every day with you." He saw the soft smile playing around her lips and felt the tension in his chest ease a little.
"Thank you, Castle." She replied softly, and he could hear in her voice that she was grateful for his words. "And thank you for having my back every day."
"Hey," He chuckled. "You have mine as well, just like today."
She didn't join in his chuckle like he had hoped she would. Instead, she remained silent, still not looking at him, and her expression turned serious, he could tell by the slight clench of her jaw.
She struggled for words. She wanted to tell him so badly what was going on inside her head, had been going on there for weeks and months now. Though it scared her, she finally felt strong and safe enough to tell him. This day filled with small but meaningful moments had somehow been the last nudge into the right direction she had needed. Now, if only she had the words to tell him.
Sighing, she started a try. "Listen, Castle, I don't know how to say this, but…" It quickly subsided into cluelessness again.
"Hey." He whispered and edged closer to her on the couch, placing his drink on the table before him to have his hands free. Carefully, he placed one of them on her knee. A sudden calmness washed over him, knowing the moment had come.
"I can talk first if that would make it easier for you. I've got like a hundred speeches I wanted to say to you so many times, but then I was never brave enough. But now I think I might be."
Brave. Yes, she needed to be brave now, too. Just let her thoughts and feelings flow off her tongue. Taking a last deep breath, she took the jump off the edge.
"I know it's all me. I know I am the reason we are in this position and not already so much further. I know that I'm the one holding us back." She slowly exhaled the air in her lungs and held on to her glass as if it could grant her some form of hold or safety.
"I know, I've been living like an island, shutting everyone out, including you. And I know it breaks your heart sometimes. But Castle, I've been working on this. And I don't want to do this to you. Not anymore."
With a trembling sigh, she forced herself to meet his eyes. "I just don't want to lose this with you. Whatever it is."
He had already taken a breath to answer her when she placed her glass next to his and straightened up. Her eyes were once again staring to the ground, but now her voice was firm and determined. "I don't want to be defined by the things that haunt me anymore. I want to be defined by what I love."
Castle couldn't hold back a gasp at her last word. "Kate…" He whispered.
"And I know that it's me, everything I just said. And I know I might have missed my chance years ago, but if you…" Her courage suddenly left her again, making her shoulders sink, the slight change in her posture making him step into action.
Reaching out for her face, he softly palmed her cheek, making her face him again. "Kate…" He whispered again. "Kate, you're all I want."
Her eyes grew wide in surprise, but there was no trace of fear in them, so he wound up the courage he needed to say what he had only told her once before. "I love you, Kate. For four years, I have loved you. And I will, for all years to come."
Her heart threatened to stop its fierce rhythm any moment as she stared at him. Should she be scared? Like the last time he had said those words to her? She had been scared to death by them at that time and kept them a secret ever since. But now she wasn't scared.
What she felt wasn't paralyzing fear. It was the pure feeling of joy spilling from her heart, spreading through her veins until it reached her face, forming her lips into a smile.
It mirrored on Castle's face, and as she stared into those blue eyes, his hand shifted from her knee to her thigh. The warm touch and soft movement were enough to break the freeze they had both fallen into.
Leaning forward in the same moment, smiling lips hit each other, hands reaching for the other's body to pull each other close.
Without any resistance, Kate let herself fall into his embrace, the touch of his hands leaving burning traces all over her body while the kiss felt like it should never end. But suddenly, he pulled away, got up from the couch, and pulled her up with him and back into his arms while his lips found hers again.
With limping steps, he walked backwards, guiding her into his bedroom, when Kate stopped him, slowing down the kiss.
"What about your foot?" She whispered against his lips.
He fastened his grip around her waist, pulling her closer to his body. "Believe me," He husked. "My foot is the last thing I'm feeling right now."
She kissed him again, a grin on her lips. "So, kissing away the pain does work."
He chuckled into her mouth as he started moving again. After a few more steps, he hit the mattress and came to sit on it.
Their lips parted, and Kate looked down at him as he whispered. "You shouldn't stop, though, just to be sure."
She bit her still-grinning bottom lip as her hands softly pushed him down onto the mattress. Climbing on top of him and straddling his hips, she leaned down to kiss him again.
"Oh, I don't even think of stopping." She murmured, running her lips along his jaw and down to his neck as his hands on her back pulled her close.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.
I know, it's a little bit mean to end here but I wanted to keep this T rated. Maaaybe I'll do a little follow-up, supposed there's interest and I have time to spare.
Oh, and before I forget, the album/artist solution is "Lover" by Taylor Swift.