Frostmask's legs shook as she rose to her paws, her mind so full of terrifying thoughts about Paledusk, it seemed about to overflow.
Underneath that, though, there were a current of hurt too. She could feel it, roiling and churning, threatening to shatter through the fragile veneer of terror and rage above. If Frostmask allowed it to get free— if she dwelled in the pain of betrayal from a cat who was her family, who was supposed to care for her over almost everyone else, who had spent moons meticulously prying her hard-won trust from her heart— the powerful emotion would drown her. But, Frostmask ruthlessly shoved it back down beneath the surface. She couldn't afford to feel it now. Not when so many lives could be at stake.
"I need you to go back to the Clans with me," she rasped to Salt.
"I can't," he said firmly, without hesitation.
Frostmask's shoulder fur bristled. Couldn't Salt see what a precarious situation this put her in? He had told her all these terrible secrets, but now refused to follow through with bringing the truth to light? She needed allies to stop Paledusk!
"I have no proof of anything you told me without you," she said in a low voice. "Paledusk is SkyClan's deputy now. He's one of their most respected and looked up to warriors. Can't you imagine how dangerous he is in that position?! I'll probably be able to warn my clan-mates since ShadowClan has no love for SkyClan, but I won't be able to convince Fennelstar of anything bad about Paledusk based on just my word alone. He will continue to be a threat, looming over all the Clans."
"But my word will help convince Fennelstar?" Salt shook head incredulously. "Frostmask, remember I'm a traitor. A deserter. I left SkyClan to become a kittypet. Fennelstar may even feel exactly the same as Paledusk— it'd be better if I was dead, than what I am now."
Frostmask flexed her claws anxiously into the ground. She knew that Fennelstar could be cruel at times, but surely he wasn't completely heartless, right?
"But Paledusk trying to murder his own brother?" she asked. "You really think Fennelstar and the rest of SkyClan would be okay with that? You have the scars on your pelt as proof of your brother's attack. If you're worried about them not believing you because you're a kittypet, you could even say that Paledusk trying to kill you is what drove you away from SkyClan to become one in the first place."
Salt shook his head.
"No," he growled, his one eye narrowing in disgust. "I spent far too much of my life lying about who I am and what I want— to myself and to every other cat. I won't start lying about it again now, even if the truth would turn others against me."
Frostmask's whiskers drooped, her mind shifting to Mottledflame and Larchtail. "Okay, but if you told the truth, there are good cats in SkyClan too, who would probably understand and believe you. You were once a SkyClan cat, so you must know that as well as I do, if not better. I know one of your kits actually… She's kind."
Salt suddenly wouldn't meet her gaze.
"Please, Salt," Frostmask said, almost begging now. "Fennelstar has grown old and sick. We need to act now before Paledusk becomes SkyClan's leader. Then, he'd be so powerful, there would be nothing we could do to stop him and all the harm he can cause."
Salt sighed, his eye closing for a moment.
"If it was only myself at stake, I might come with you and try to speak to Fennelstar," Salt muttered. "But, it's not only my life at risk if I reveal myself."
Pepper's ears twisted back in protest.
"Salt…" he began.
"Don't," Salt meowed quickly, cutting him off and sending him a burning glance. "There's nothing you can say to convince me. I can't let you get hurt. I could never forgive myself if Paledusk killed you. I wouldn't have anything left to live for."
Frostmask's ears flattened. As much as she needed Salt's word and existence backing her up, she couldn't find it in herself to argue against him on that.
Wouldn't I probably do the same if I was in his position, and it was Autumnleap or our kits' lives on the line?
Frostmask bowed her head, conceding the argument, but her belly still knotted and twisted in despair.
"But then what am I going to do?" she whispered. "Paledusk has them all fooled. Stars, he had me fooled for so long. He fed me so many lies and manipulated me for so long. How can I stop him now?"
"Paledusk isn't invincible," Salt insisted. "Sure, he's intelligent and tries to tie up his loose ends, but he makes mistakes like anyone else— you and I are both literally, living proof of that."
Frostmask glanced back up at him, her brow furrowed as she tried to understand his point.
Salt met her eyes, and his lips twisted into an ironic grimace. "I'm still alive because he left me bleeding out, certain that he'd wounded me enough that I'd die. He saw me as worthless, and Pepper as weak. He never considered that Pepper might find me, or that his twolegs would be powerful enough to heal me, or that they'd even care to." Salt blinked at her. "Then there's you. You're here, alive, despite what happened to your mother and littermates. He thought that you wouldn't be a threat to him; that he could trick you and use you. But, he was wrong. I can see how strong, brave, and clever you are, and because of that, you found the truth despite all of his efforts to hide it."
Salt leaned towards her, a fire burning in his green gaze. "His arrogance is his weakness. It will make him make a mistake again, and when he does, you will be ready."
After a few moments of hesitation, Frostmask nodded, swallowing around the lump in her throat. She was still a mouse in the nest of a snake, but at least she now saw the snake for what he was… and that was something.
"I think I have an idea about what I need to do," she murmured. "Even though I won't be able to convince Fennelstar, I may still be able to control Paledusk. If he knows that I know everything, and I threaten to tell to his secrets, he'll have to listen to me. He won't want to do anything to put his reputation at risk."
Alarm flared in Salt's expression. "You're playing with fire, Frostmask. Paledusk will be at his most dangerous when he's cornered. As soon as he feels threatened—"
"I know," Frostmask cut him off, her stomach clenching like she'd swallowed a huge, icy stone. "I'll have to be very careful. But, I can't just sit by and wait for him to slip up again. I think I've done too much waiting already. Too many other lives will be at stake if I allow him to go on like this unchecked. This at least only directly threatens me."
"But why would Paledusk believe your threat?" Pepper piped up, his tail twitching anxiously and his head tilting in confusion. "If you think that Fennelstar won't believe what we told you about how he tried to murder Salt, Paledusk would surely think that too, right? So why would he care if you told everyone?"
Frostmask shook her head.
"You're forgetting one of the other times Paledusk has broken the code; something else he doesn't want anyone knowing about. It's also the only crime I have solid proof of…" Frostmask lifted a paw to touch her chest. "Me."
Parting with Pepper and Salt was more emotional than Frostmask had expected. She'd only known them a day, but after their long, deep conversations and revelations, they felt like much older friends— or true kin even. They'd been kind, even bringing her food from their den when her belly growled, and she admitted she hadn't eaten since last evening. It was kittypet food, but Salt urged her to have it instead of taking any prey from the twoleg-place.
"Twolegs do something to it, a kind of poison…" Salt had said.
Frostmask's stomach clenched. "I know. I've seen it before."
Salt's ears perked in surprise. "You have?"
"Yeah, from the rats in the Carrionplace."
"Ah. That makes sense." Salt gave a nod. "So you know how deadly it is."
But, now with a full belly giving her the energy for her trek home, it was time for Frostmask to return to ShadowClan. Her clan-mates would need her.
"You can visit whenever you want," Pepper said, surprising Frostmask with his affection when he got up and rubbed his face against hers. "If you ever need a place to stay, or if you ever want to hear more about May in… happier times. Our home is always welcome to you." Pepper then purred lightly. "Our housefolk love cats. I promise, they won't kick you out."
"Thank you," Frostmask said, her voice suddenly thick with emotion. "That's very kind. I really appreciate how much you've both helped me, despite the risk."
Frostmask's attention shifted to Salt as he lowered his head to touch his muzzle to hers. She gazed into his scarred face and his one green eye— so much like Paledusk's, but the expression in it much gentler than any she'd ever seen on her father's face.
"I'm glad I got to meet May's kin," Salt murmured. "Although, I have to admit, I'm sorry that you share my blood as well. No cat should have to suffer the fate of having Paledusk as their father."
Frostmask clenched her jaw against the rush of painful anguish that rose in her chest.
"It's alright," she muttered. "I have kin ShadowClan. I may not share blood with them, but they are my family."
Salt pulled his head back and nodded approvingly, wrapping his tail around Pepper and shooting him an affectionate glance.
He must think the same about him.
"I'm happy to have met you both anyway," Frostmask said. "You are both good cats." She met Salt's eye. "I'm proud to call you my kin."
Pepper purred, but Salt blinked hard, breaking the connection of their gazes as he looked at his paws.
"But there is one more thing," he murmured. "I hate that I have to ask this of you, but—"
"You don't want anyone knowing you're alive?" Frostmask guessed. "You don't want me to tell anyone that I found you, or spoke to you."
Salt nodded, still avoiding her eyes.
"I understand," Frostmask said with a soft sigh. "It would be too dangerous for you if Paledusk finds out. I will keep your existence a secret."
"Thank you," Salt breathed, glancing up again at her. "I'm sorry I can't help more, but we believe in you, Frostmask."
Pepper nodded. "Best of luck."
Salt dipped his head solemnly. "But, now we should let you get back to your family in ShadowClan. May StarClan light your path."
"Goodbye," Frostmask murmured. "And, thank you both again— for everything."
Frostmask followed her scent trail away from Pepper and Salt's home, heading back in the direction of SkyClan's territory. Her going out was slower than in. It was afternoon now, and the thunderpaths were busy with twolegs and monsters. She found herself darting from hiding spot to hiding spot and she crawled her way through the twoleg-place. But, she would have to be even more careful once she approached the Treecut-place to avoid SkyClan patrols.
The scent of SkyClan hit her much earlier than she expected— after she'd reached the thunderpaths pointed out to her by Larchtail and Mottledflame, but before she made it out of the twoleg-place. Then a flash of white fur in the shadows of a nearby alley caught in the corner of her vision.
Paledusk.
Frostmask froze where she was beneath a hedge, her gaze flying to him. He was some distance away, but his bulky, sleek white-furred figure was unmistakable. How did he know she was here? Had Larchtail or Mottledflame decided to rat her out to their deputy?
Frostmask couldn't move, panic paralyzing her every muscle. Her heart and lungs were the only parts of her that continued to work, her chest heaving and her rapid heartbeat hammering as loud as thunder against her ear fur. Just one thought echoed in her mind:
Is he here to kill me?
But, Paledusk wasn't looking in her direction. His tail swayed languidly behind him, and his ears were held at a relaxed slant, not pinned or alert. Paledusk appeared to be alone, and he was padding away from Frostmask's hiding spot, a small piece of prey dangling from his jaws. He looked every part a cat confidently traversing his own territory, not like a cat searching for her— or for anything at all.
But, Frostmask wasn't taking any risks. She stayed where she was, silently thanking the stars that she'd disguised her scent before she'd left ShadowClan, and then it'd been muddied further by traveling through these unfamiliar territories and spending time with Larchtail, Mottledflame, and the various kittypets. Even if the wind changed, he shouldn't be able to easily identify her by smell alone. Paledusk disappeared around a corner, but Frostmask remained in her hiding spot. She crouched, watching oblivious monsters and twolegs pass by until her legs started to ache from holding her in the same position for so long. Only then did she cautiously begin to creep forward again. She wished there was some other way that she could get back to ShadowClan without passing through SkyClan territory, but she couldn't risk straying without getting hopelessly lost. Instead, she would have to use all of her skills in stalking and stealth as a ShadowClan warrior to get out of the twoleg-place and SkyClan territory safely.
Oh StarClan, please get me out of here before I run into Paledusk again!
The stars seemed to answer her plea. Frostmask found her way back to the edge of the Treecut-place and SkyClan territory, and then into the unclaimed forest that bordered ThunderClan and the twoleg-place without spotting a single other cat. She was grateful too that Mottledflame and Larchtail hadn't lingered to check on her. There was so much that she'd learned about Slatewhisker that she couldn't tell Larchtail, out of fear that it would reach Paledusk's ears. She basically couldn't tell Larchtail anything, but Frostmask also felt bad about lying to her about it. Larchtail deserved to know the truth about her parents as much as Frostmask had.
Frostmask's journey from there back to ShadowClan territory was relatively relaxing— if reflecting on the fact that her father had tried to kill his brother and now was probably the source of the threatening war between the Clans could be construed as 'relaxing.'
She made it home to ShadowClan's camp not long after sunset to find that Murmurstep was on guard duty outside the thorn barrier. Murmurstep called out a greeting, but utterly exhausted and more stressed than she'd ever been in her life, Frostmask stumbled past her friend without offering more than a tail-flick of acknowledgement. She slipped into camp and started to slink around the clearing in the shadows of the thorn barrier. She'd hoped to make it to the nursery unnoticed and find Autumnleap to unburden some of the weight of all the new secrets that she carried. But, it seemed that all her luck with stealth had run out at the twoleg-place.
"Frostmask!" Poolcloud rushed over to her, his brow furrowed. "Are you doing okay? Pineshade told me what happened. Are you feeling any better now? You look awful."
Frostmask blinked, unsurprised that in her ragged, exhausted, and stressed state she actually looked ill.
"I'm okay now. Just tired," she said, trying to side-step Poolcloud.
But then Redclaw was there, the queen glaring at her with a mixture of relief and annoyance in her green eyes.
"There you are!" she said, her tone scolding even as she brushed her cheek against Frostmask's. "I was starting to get really worried! Why in StarClan's name did you insist on spending the entire day outside of camp instead of staying here where we could check on you?! That's what having a medicine cat is for!"
Frostmask's ears flattened awkwardly. "I just— Well, Pineshade must have told you how sick—"
Frostmask was saved from attempting to explain anymore when Redclaw pulled back from her face, blinking thoughtfully.
"You don't feel feverish, at least. And, I don't smell sickness on you," she said.
"Yes, I'm feeling much better now," Frostmask said, relieved at Redclaw's waning concern. The sooner that she reassured her she was fine, the sooner she could get to Autumnleap. "I think it was just a bad mouse I ate or something. But, I'm doing okay now. I don't need to see Elmclaw."
Redclaw frowned slightly. "Hm. Well, you should still rest."
She nudged her towards the warriors' den with her muzzle, but Frostmask resisted, bracing her paws against the ground.
"Actually, I wanted to go to the nursery…" Frostmask said.
"Autumnleap can take care of the kits for one more night by himself," Redclaw said.
Poolcloud nodded. "Besides, you don't want to spread anything to them just in case your illness is contagious, right?"
Frostmask sighed, a part of her wanting to come clean right then and there about her not actually being sick.
"Fine, but do you mind telling Autumnleap that I'm back in camp, Poolcloud?" she asked.
"Of course," Poolcloud said.
Frostmask nodded, finally turning towards the warriors' den, and Redclaw escorted her over as if ensuring that she would actually go inside. As they padded towards it, Frostmask glanced over at the dark auburn patches of Redclaw's pelt, suddenly struck by how similar they were to that one kittypet she met— Leo.
Frostmask hesitated, licking her lips for a moment nervously.
"Um, Redclaw? This is a really random question, but I just remembered some elders at the last gathering mentioning a name that I hadn't heard before. Was there ever a cat in ShadowClan named Roseflight?"
Redclaw blinked in surprise, her gaze flying to Frostmask's face.
"Yes, there was," she said, her brow furrowing slightly. "That's strange… Why were there cats at the gathering talking about her?"
Frostmask shrugged, doing her best to look not terribly interested. She was so exhausted that the act wasn't all that hard.
"I don't know. I just overheard part of the conversation, and someone said that name. I think perhaps Clearstream had been talking to someone about it? She might have been the one who said it, but I don't remember. I'd never heard of a Roseflight, so I was just curious, that's all," Frostmask said.
Redclaw nodded, the puzzled looked on her face fading.
"Well, she died many seasons before you were even born, so I wouldn't have expected you to recognize her name," Redclaw said.
Redclaw fell silent for a moment, her green eyes turning a bit foggy.
"Roseflight was my mother, actually," Redclaw murmured. "She was a wonderful cat and a noble warrior. It's a shame that she didn't live long enough to meet Poolcloud, Pineshade, Autumnleap, or you." Redclaw's whiskers twitched a bit ruefully. "But, I supposed that's on me and Weaseltail for waiting until we were seasoned warriors before having kits."
Frostmask's paws tingled at the revelation. She knew from all the occasional gossip that she'd picked up from her seasons in ShadowClan that Redclaw and Emberflower's mother had never named a father for her kits. No cat would dare question Redclaw or Emberflower's heritage to their faces— not when their mother had plausible deniability, and especially not now that the two senior warriors had proved themselves to be loyal ShadowClan cats through and through.
But, as Frostmask had suspected when she'd met Leo, she clearly wasn't the only cat who had secrets lurking in the twoleg-place.
Do I tell her? she thought, blinking at Redclaw.
No, I can't. Not right now at least— without explaining how I know about Leo.
"I wish I could have met her too," Frostmask murmured in response instead.
Redclaw purred at that, and Frostmask nodded at her in goodnight before slipping into the warriors' den. She retreated to her nest. She at least would be able to talk to Autumnleap soon, and tell him what happened and her plan for dealing with Paledusk. But, her heart twinged that she couldn't check on Newtkit and Mistkit yet. She knew that in the one day that she was gone, nothing in the five Clans had really changed. But, the new information she'd gleaned had shifted her view of the state of the forest— it cast a much more dangerous and deadly pallor over everything. Frostmask was almost certain now that it had been Paledusk who had told WindClan about her kits' true parentage.
But, why? Was he just trying to push WindClan into attacking ShadowClan because of it? Regardless of his reasons, it put her kits in danger. It would be comforting to see Mistkit's and Newtkit's fluffy pelts and breathe in their warm scents, and reassure herself that they were okay, at least for now.
But, Frostmask would have to wait a little longer. After she got to speak to Autumnleap in a moment, she could return back into the nursery. Then once she curled around her kits, heard their soft purrs and finally let herself rest for the night, she'd be ready for the next day. That's when she would solidify her plan to confront Paledusk— and face everything that came with it.
But, when Frostmask lay down on her nest to wait for Autumnleap, her exhaustion returned tenfold, and before she knew it, a dark wave of sleep engulfed her.
"Hey."
Frostmask awoke to the gentle touch of a nose to her ear and a warm breath stirring her ear-fur. Her eyes flicked open, and she blinked hard a few times to drive the bleariness from her gaze. The warriors' den was still dark, but it was now full of sleeping cats, unlike when she'd entered. Autumnleap stood over her, blinking down with a mixture of apprehension and concern.
Frostmask's jaws parted in a massive yawn. A faint headache from exhaustion throbbed behind her eyes.
"What time of night is it?" she whispered.
"A little after moonhigh," Autumnleap said, also keeping his voice quiet.
Frostmask's ears flattened. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"I figured. I checked on you earlier, but you seemed so tired, I wanted to let you rest for a bit."
Frostmask bit back the urge to scowl. She knew that Autumnleap was just trying to be thoughtful, but it was urgent that she told him what she learned. She was the only cat in the forest right now who knew the truth about Paledusk. If something happened to her… no one would be able to stop him, or even know that they should.
"We need to talk," she said, rising to her paws.
Autumnleap nodded, unsurprised. He led the way out of the den, and through the thorn tunnel into the pine forest. Safely away from the hearing range of anyone in camp, he turned back to her.
"What happened? Did you find the black-and-white kittypet?" Autumnleap asked, his brow furrowed.
Frostmask exhaled heavily. "I found him, and found out so much more. You should sit down; this will take a while."
Autumnleap nodded and sat, and then she started to explain.
"StarClan…" Autumnleap breathed once Frostmask had finished relaying everything she'd learned during her time in the twoleg-place. She'd even told him the truth about Slatewhisker— she knew she could trust him with Salt's secret, but she warned him that he could not tell anyone else that Slatewhisker was still alive.
"That's just… Snake-dung," Autumnleap cursed. "That's so much worse than I thought. I mean, Paledusk has always been shady, but I couldn't imagine…"
"A cat who would try to kill his own brother?" Frostmask asked, her mouth twisting in a grimace of sour, humorless amusement. "That I'd be related to a cat like that?"
"Well… yeah," Autumnleap said, blinking at her with concern. "I mean, this must have been so much worse and shocking for you to find out since he's your fath—" Autumnleap's voice cut off into a gasp as he suddenly realized something. He stared at her wide-eyed. "Oh StarClan, Frostmask, you're in danger! If Paledusk could do something like this to his brother, just for wanting to leave SkyClan, there's no telling what he'd do to you if he ever thought you could threaten him! And, you can threaten him since you know everything! Him being your father probably means as much as fox-dung to him!"
Autumnleap sprung to his paws and started to pace, his tail swishing with agitation. "Oh StarClan, this is bad! We need to do something to protect you! We need a plan… We have to tell Sedgestar!"
"I have a plan," Frostmask interrupted quickly, her stomach flipping at the thought of telling Sedgestar.
She was self-aware enough to see that her time of lying to her leader may be coming to an end. If she needed to tell Sedgestar about the threat of Paledusk, she would, but she'd have to explain herself to do it. And, she couldn't right now— not like this.
Frostmask couldn't even imagine how that conversation would go at the moment.
Hey, Sedgestar. So, remember that time that you called me a traitor because my father is a SkyClan cat? Well, I decided to go against everything you told me about him and figure out who he is anyway. Then I met with him a bunch of times and let him gain my trust. Now it turns out he's actually been terrible all along, like you said. He's probably threatening ShadowClan, and now I do actually look like a traitor for meeting with him. Sorry.
Frostmask gave her ears a small, swift shake. Sedgestar would be furious. He'd probably want to exile her or worse. Frostmask could lose everything.
If or when she told Sedgestar the truth, it would only be after she regained some control of the situation. That was her only chance of redeeming herself and proving that she wasn't the traitor that she appeared.
"Then what is the plan?" Autumnleap asked, blinking at her with wide amber eyes.
Frostmask exhaled heavily. Although she couldn't tell Sedgestar the truth yet, things were perilous enough now that she didn't think that she and Autumnleap could manage all of it alone.
"Can you go get Poolcloud and Pineshade?" Frostmask murmured. "It's time that they knew the truth… We need their help. I'll tell you all together."
Autumnleap's ears perked in surprise, but he nodded, quickly vanishing into the dense pine forest. It wasn't long that he returned, his littermates in tow. Both Pineshade and Poolcloud looked concerned and disgruntled about being so suddenly pulled out of their nests. Well, Pineshade seemed more disgruntled than concerned, but Frostmask knew her well enough by now to notice the uneasy slant to her ears.
"Frostmask? Are you okay? What is it?" Poolcloud asked, his brow furrowed. "Autumnleap said there is something urgent you need to talk to us about."
"I know I told you that you had to explain yourself, but couldn't it wait until tomorrow?" Pineshade added through a massive yawn. "I had just started to have this nice dream."
"Wait, 'explain yourself?'" Poolcloud echoed in bewilderment. "Frostmask needs to explain herself about what?"
Frostmask tensed. Her belly twisted like she was going to be ill as a rush of renewed worry and fear flooded through her. Now that the moment was actually upon her, her resolve had fled and her tongue felt as heavy as a boulder in her mouth— unable to form words.
Pineshade just shrugged in answer to Poolcloud. Autumnleap padded away from his siblings to stand next to Frostmask. She managed to release a tiny bit of the tension in her muscles and exhale some of her mounting panic as she felt the comforting brush of his pelt against her side.
I have to tell them. If I don't, my clan-mates will be in danger, and I could lose the whole life I made for myself in ShadowClan.
Still, a doubting thought whispered in the back of her head.
But if I do tell them, I could lose them…
As her silence drew on, Poolcloud sent a worried glance from Frostmask to Autumnleap and then back.
"Okay seriously guys, what's going on?" he demanded. "You're really starting to freak me out."
Frostmask sighed so hard, her frame trembled. She summoned her strength.
"I'm about to tell you two something that no one else but Autumnleap knows," she said in a soft voice. "It's something that I maybe should have told you all a long time ago, but I didn't because I was scared that it would change the way you'd feel about me… But it can't be kept a secret any longer."
Even Pineshade looked more worried now. She and Poolcloud exchanged a look, identical expressions of confusion in their amber eyes.
"I'm still scared that it will change the way you feel about me," Frostmask admitted in a low rasp, dropping her gaze down to her paws. She took a shaky breath. "If it does though, I just want you to know that how I feel about you won't ever change. You've all been the best friends I could have ever asked for, and I'll always cherish every moment we've had as friends. But, if you do start to hate me now, I can't entirely blame you for that. I have made stupid mistakes that may have put our Clan in danger."
Autumnleap made a soft noise of protest, draping his tail over her back. "Frostmask, you couldn't have known—"
"Wait," Frostmask murmured, cutting him off. "Let me finish telling them everything first." She lifted her gaze again, meeting Poolcloud's eyes first, then Pineshade's. "That's all I ask— that you two hear me out until the end."
She waited until Poolcloud and Pineshade both gave hesitant nods of agreement.
"Thank you," Frostmask whispered. "Let me start at the beginning."
Frostmask began with the first day that she'd arrived in ShadowClan, explaining how when she was a kit, she hadn't known anything about her father, but May had told more information than Frostmask had been aware of to the ShadowClan patrol that rescued them. May had told them that Frostmask's father was a SkyClan cat, and he'd injured May as he'd drove her and Frostmask away from sheltering in SkyClan. Then after May had died, Sedgestar had decided to keep this information a secret from Frostmask, not wanting to divide her loyalties.
The more Frostmask talked, the easier the words became, spilling out of her like a flood that had been dammed up for too long. She kept a careful watch on Pineshade's and Poolcloud's expressions, watching their faces turn from confused to incredulous to troubled the more Frostmask's story went on. But they kept their word, and both stood in stoic silence, neither interrupting her as she spoke.
Frostmask explained how she found all this out originally when Sedgestar accused her of betraying ShadowClan for SkyClan after the battle in ShadowClan's camp. She told them about how she'd finally spoke to Paledusk, and how his story conflicted with the one their leader had told her. She described how she struggled to believe the bad things Sedgestar told her about Paledusk when he would have every motive to want her to hate her birth father.
She told them about how she and Paledusk had started meeting, how her feelings on him were so conflicted after what he'd done to Swoopstrike and Autumnleap, but that her curiosity about her blood-relatives had drove her towards him anyway.
Finally, she described the recent suspicious occurrences— Paledusk's desire for an alliance between SkyClan and ShadowClan, ThunderClan's increasing hostility, and WindClan finding out about her kits. She admitted her growing misgivings that these could be his designs. Paledusk could be working to create conflict between ThunderClan and WindClan to drive Frostmask and ShadowClan into an alliance with SkyClan. These fears had also cast doubt on Paledusk's stories about May, and the circumstances he gave of Frostmask joining ShadowClan. But, with Paledusk's word against Sedgestar's, Frostmask had no other solid proof, besides coincidence, that Paledusk could be capable of such deceit and treachery.
"That leads me to what happened yesterday," Frostmask murmured. "I wasn't actually sick. I was gone because I went to the twoleg-place to find a kittypet, Pepper, who once knew May, Paledusk, and Paledusk's brother, Slatewhisker very well. They all were good friends for moons. And, what Pepper told me did so much more than just confirm my fears about Paledusk."
Frostmask inhaled a shaky breath. "Pepper said that Slatewhisker had become discontent with Clan life. He wanted to leave SkyClan to become a kittypet. Paledusk found this out and was so furious at the 'embarrassment' that he murdered Slatewhisker— his own brother… If Paledusk is capable of such a horrible act, I no longer doubt that all the terrible things I heard or suspected about him are true. And, I don't doubt that he may try to kill me to stop me from telling everyone the truth and disgracing him. After all, he did the same to Slatewhisker, his brother that he spent every moment of his life with. Why would he hesitate then to hurt me, his bastard daughter?"
Poolcloud was shivering slightly now, and Pineshade's jaw was clenched so tightly, it looked like holding her words back was putting her in physical pain.
"Not to mention, if Paledusk is the one turning WindClan and ThunderClan against ShadowClan as I believe, our entire Clan may be in danger. And, especially my kits," Frostmask continued, her ears pinning against her head. "I need to get Paledusk under control. But, I need your help to do it… That is, if you still want to help me now that you know everything that I've done."
Frostmask finally finished speaking and stared at Pineshade and Poolcloud. Her heart hammered in her chest faster than the drumming feet of a startled rabbit, and her throat closed as she took in their conflicted, disturbed expressions.
"Well, snake-dung," Pineshade broke the silence with an emphatic curse.
"I think we should kill him," Autumnleap burst out before she could say anything else, sinking unsheathed claws into the mossy ground.
Frostmask's stomach flipped in shock, and Poolcloud's eyes stretched wide as well.
"What? Autumnleap!" he exclaimed.
"I'm serious," Autumnleap insisted, his face more grave than Frostmask had ever seen it. "I've been thinking about it. Paledusk is too dangerous to be kept alive. Killing him is the only way to keep everyone safe."
Pineshade shook her head. "Don't be frog-brained. Four ShadowClan warriors murdering SkyClan's deputy in cold-blood sounds like an excellent way to start a vicious war with SkyClan. We can't risk that when we already have ThunderClan and WindClan breathing down our necks. And, do you seriously think that Willowstar would be rushing to our aid?"
Frostmask nodded, relieved that Pineshade shared her thoughts on the matter. And, admittedly… it did turn her stomach a little to think about murdering Paledusk. She'd considered it once before— in her darkest moment when Sedgestar had accused her of betraying ShadowClan and finally told her the truth about her father. But, she couldn't do it then, and she didn't think she could do it now.
Well, if Paledusk was the one that attacked her or someone she loved, that was another matter. But, to hunt him down like prey? …Even after everything Paledusk had done, Frostmask didn't have the stomach for it.
"Obviously we wouldn't murder him in plain sight," Autumnleap snapped to Pineshade. "We kill him and hide his body. SkyClan will realize that he's missing, of course, but know nothing else."
"It's still too risky," Pineshade insisted, narrowing her eye at her brother. "What if there's a witness? What if they find his corpse?"
"I'm with Pineshade on this one," Poolcloud said with a nod.
"Wait…" Frostmask broke in softly, finally finding her voice again. "So you both do still want to help me?"
Pineshade shot her an impatient, glowering look.
"Yes, Frostmask. Keep up," she huffed, her tail thumping rhythmically against the ground. "I mean, don't get me wrong— I'm pissed off. But, I'll save the yowling for after we rescue your sorry tail."
Poolcloud rose to his paws and padded towards Frostmask to gently bunt his large head to her shoulder.
"Everything you told us is a lot for me to take in," he admitted. "But, it's not like this has been easy for you either. You've been going through a lot too. It can't be easy learning all this about your father— a cat you thought you could trust."
"Yes," Autumnleap said, his face softening as he looked at her again. "This isn't all your fault, Frostmask. You've been manipulated by Paledusk. And, as much as I am loyal to Sedgestar, it's not like he really helped the situation either."
"What?" Pineshade cut in, her brow furrowed. "Sedgestar did nothing wrong. He didn't lie to Frostmask at all."
Frostmask cast Pineshade an incredulous look. "He didn't tell me that my father was a SkyClan cat for seasons and forced our other clan-mates who knew the truth to do the same. You wouldn't call that 'lying?'"
Pineshade shrugged. "That's omission, not lying. I think Sedgestar made a perfectly sensible choice to not divide your loyalties. After all, once you found out the truth, exactly what he wanted to avoid, happened."
"But Paledusk—" Autumnleap argued, his brow furrowing.
"Yeah, Paledusk manipulated her, I'm not denying that," Pineshade snapped. "But, Frostmask shouldn't have ever gone to meet with Paledusk at all! It was an absolutely frog-brained decision."
"Well, I might not have cared about my father if Sedgestar hadn't lied to me for seasons and unfairly accused me of being a traitor in the first place," Frostmask growled.
Pineshade leapt to her paws, her dark pelt bristling.
"I don't get it! You have a great home in ShadowClan!" she snarled, sudden anger smoldering in her expression. "You're deputy now! You have a mate and kits! You have us. Why would you ever risk that?! Were we not enough?"
Frostmask swallowed thickly.
"It's not like that," she hissed, heat prickling behind her eyes. "You can't understand. You were born here. Your family is here— your mom and dad and brothers. But, for the longest time, I felt like I had nothing real in ShadowClan. Then I was a warrior and finally settling in. Like, maybe I could do this, that I really did belong. But, Sedgestar stripped it all away by calling me a traitor. It felt like all my hard work was for nothing… that he'd never trust me, no matter what I did."
Frostmask shook her head, dropping her eyes down to paws because she found she could no longer hold Pineshade's burning, hurt gaze. "I promise, I never intended to betray any of you or ShadowClan. I've always been loyal. All I wanted was to get to know my kin. I thought I'd find a cat in Paledusk who would accept me easily because we were family. But clearly, I made a terrible mistake and misjudged him. I know now that I risked everything— that I have everything to lose."
Heavy silence met the end of her speech. Frostmask felt Autumnleap press closer against her side in wordless support, and Poolcloud quietly cleared his throat.
"But, we're going to help you, Frostmask," he said. "You'll get through this."
"We should get back on topic with the plan," Pineshade added stiffly. "But, we're not murdering Paledusk."
"I already have a plan," Frostmask said softly, still avoiding looking at their faces. "Paledusk's reputation means everything to him. As much as he's been ruining my life, I have the opportunity to do the same to him."
"So you want to tell everyone the truth?" Autumnleap asked, bewildered.
Frostmask shook her ears. "No. If we tell everyone the truth, Paledusk will have nothing left to lose. There's no telling what he will do then." She finally forced herself to meet her friend's eyes again. "I want to use the truth as a deterrent. I already have a planned meeting with him at the half-moon in a few days. I will meet with him then, tell him that I know everything, and threaten to tell everyone unless he leaves me and ShadowClan alone."
Horror flooded Autumnleap's expression.
"Frostmask, you can't," he said in a hoarse whisper. "He'll just kill you to keep you silent."
"He can't," Pineshade's voice suddenly cut in.
Frostmask glanced over to see her studying her evenly. Pineshade didn't seem overly pleased with her plan, but there was a grim understanding glinting in her eye.
"That's what you want our help with, right?" she asked. "We're your insurance. He kills you; we tell everyone."
Frostmask nodded, relieved that no matter how upset Pineshade was with her, she still understood her.
"Exactly," Frostmask said.
"He may still kill you anyway and hope that you're bluffing," Poolcloud muttered, his ears angled back.
Frostmask swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat. "That's a risk I have to take."
Autumnleap shook his head.
"There must be a better way," he growled.
"I don't think there is," Frostmask mewed gently as she took in his tormented expression.
"Okay, you don't want to kill him. But what if you just cut off all contact with him?" Autumnleap said, almost pleading. "Don't explain anything, just never speak to him again!"
"I can't do nothing," Frostmask said adamantly. "That won't fix any of ShadowClan's problems; Paledusk will just continue to cause trouble. And, killing him in cold-blood risks making too many new problems." She blinked at Autumnleap, willing him to understand. "This way, I can at least control him. He will have to listen to me when I tell him to stop meddling and keep SkyClan from bothering us. I can make things better for ShadowClan and undo some of this mess I got us in."
Autumnleap searched her gaze with his own for several tense heartbeats before he finally seemed to realize that he couldn't talk her out of it. Worry and disappointment washed over his expression, but only for a moment before it was replaced with an intense determination.
"Fine," he said. "But, when you go meet Paledusk, I'm going with you."
Frostmask's ears angled back uneasily. "Your presence may just provoke him more."
"Then I'll hide in the bushes," Autumnleap said, setting his jaw stubbornly. "But, I'm not leaving you alone with him. You can't change my mind on this either. I'm going to follow you to Fourtrees no matter what you say. If he attacks you, I'll be there to help you fight him. And, I'll fight to kill."
"And, if he kills you both instead?" Pineshade asked sharply. "You'd really leave your barely more than a moon-old kits without a single parent?"
The guilt that tinged Autumnleap's expression told Frostmask that he hadn't considered that. He turned his gaze onto Pineshade and Poolcloud.
"You two would take care of them, wouldn't you?" he asked.
Poolcloud frowned. "Of course we would. But, for the record, I'd much prefer that neither of you die."
Autumnleap rumbled a brief purr, forcing a more cheerful expression.
"Obviously that's the ideal scenario," he said.
"The plan will work," Frostmask said with more confidence than she felt. She searched each of her friends' faces in turn as if by trying to convince them, she could convince herself. "Paledusk is like a snake. He flourishes in hidden crannies and long grass. But, strip away his secrets and throw him out in the open, and he's vulnerable. He'll see he's not the one in control anymore. We are."
Autumnleap, Pineshade, and Poolcloud all nodded, and sudden gratitude for their support washed through Frostmask.
"Thank you," she whispered, "for helping me."
Autumnleap touched his muzzle to her ear.
"Always," he breathed.
"Of course," Poolcloud added with a reassuring purr.
"Yeah, well… I don't want you to die," Pineshade muttered, which Frostmask knew was as close to affection as Pineshade was capable of at the moment.
Frostmask glanced at Autumnleap, and as she looked at his auburn pelt, she was reminded again of the kittypet who'd looked so much like him.
"I'm sorry for lying to you," she murmured. "But, I promise, I'll never keep secrets like any of these from you all again… So I think I should tell you about this other kittypet I met at the twoleg-place."
Autumnleap's head tilted to the side in a mixture of confusion and surprise.
"Another kittypet that knew your parents?" he asked.
Frostmask shook her head. "No. His name was Leo. He helped me find Pepper's home, but he didn't really know my parents." She turned away from Autumnleap to sweep her gaze over Poolcloud and Pineshade as well. "But, it did sound like he knew ShadowClan well. Or, he used to. He seemed older than most elders, and he asked about a ShadowClan cat named Roseflight."
"Roseflight?" Pineshade echoed, her brow furrowing slightly. "That name sounds really familiar."
"She's Redclaw's mother," Poolcloud said, blinking thoughtfully. "She's occasionally mentioned her before."
"That's right," Pineshade said, recognition dawning in her expression.
"Leo also looked a lot like Autumnleap," Frostmask added.
Autumnleap blinked hard. "Me?"
His mystified expression sent a rush of equal parts fondness and exasperation running through Frostmask.
"I suspect that Leo is your grandfather," she said, deciding to cut to the point.
Autumnleap's eyes stretched as wide as moons, while Poolcloud's ears jutted up in shock.
"We're related to a kittypet?!" Poolcloud asked.
"Leo didn't actually admit to anything," Frostmask clarified. "But, because of the resemblance and the fact that no one knows who Redclaw and Emberflower's father is… I think so."
Pineshade's nose wrinkled, troubled lines furrowing into her face.
"It's not like it changes how I see you or anything," Frostmask added hastily. "I just… in order to be totally honest, I felt like I should tell you."
She looked at Pineshade anxiously.
Have I just made her even more upset by telling her she's probably part kittypet?
After another moment of tense silence, Pineshade's expression finally smoothed, although it seemed like it took her a bit of effort. She shrugged, casting Frostmask a cool, indifferent look.
"It doesn't matter to me," she said haughtily. "It's not like any of us would ever want to leave ShadowClan to be a kittypet. And, I still hunt and fight better than half of our clan-mates— with kittypet blood and one eye and all."
"I know," Frostmask said with a brief purr.
"…Are you going to tell anyone else?" Poolcloud asked hesitantly.
Frostmask shook her head.
"It's not my information to share. You all can do what you want with it," she said, truthfully a bit relieved to free herself of the burden of at least one family's secret.
"We should probably keep it to ourselves for now," Autumnleap spoke up. "We at least can't tell anyone yet how we know about Leo."
Poolcloud and Pineshade echoed their agreement.
The conversation over, they all were finally able to head back to camp. As Poolcloud and Pineshade returned to the warriors' den, Frostmask followed Autumnleap into the nursery. Contentment and relief washed over her as she finally saw Mistkit and Newtkit.
The pair were sleeping peacefully. Mistkit's chin rested on Newtkit's shoulders, his head gently bobbing up and down with his sister's breaths. As Frostmask stepped into the nest, she was careful to avoid trodding on any of Dewleaf and Poolcloud's kits' legs or tails; they were starting to get quite gangly. Frostmask then curled herself around her kits, Autumnleap settling down beside her.
Newtkit stirred first as Frostmask's plumy tail wrapped around them.
"Hm… Mama?" she chirped, her head abruptly jerking up as she recognized her.
That sent the back of her skull careening into Mistkit's muzzle. He jerked, bleary blue eyes flying open.
"Ow hey—! Mama?" Mistkit said, shifting from sleepy confusion to indignation in an instant, before just as quickly transitioning to happiness as he also noticed Frostmask.
"Hello, little tadpoles," Frostmask purred quietly, lowering her muzzle to nuzzle them both.
"Where were you?!" Newtkit demanded, but she leaned into Frostmask's touch. "You were gone all day!"
"Talk quieter, or you'll wake the whole den," Autumnleap warned, but he blinked affectionately at the kits.
"Dad said you were sick," Mistkit said to Frostmask in a softer voice than his sister, concern in his eyes. "Are you okay?"
"I'm feeling a lot better now that I'm back with you two," Frostmask murmured.
Autumnleap purred from behind her, allowing Frostmask to feel the rumble against her back. Her heart was easing with every passing moment in the nursery.
"Okay but—" Newtkit's sentence was interrupted as her jaws split open in a massive yawn. "—you can't go away for a whole day again! Not without telling us."
Frostmask's relaxation vanished as, instead, her veins chilled as she thought of her looming meeting with Paledusk. What if Paledusk did kill them? What would their kits think if she and Autumnleap just disappeared and never came back on the night of the half-moon?
Oh StarClan, please let this plan work.
"Of course," Frostmask said, before hesitating as she thought that untenable promise over. "I mean, I'll do my best… but the life of a warrior can be dangerous. I may not always come home when you expect."
"But you will come at some time, right?" Mistkit asked, his head tilting to the side like an owl.
"I'll always try," Frostmask whispered. "But, if I don't, you must be brave. You can do that for me, right? Be brave even if I'm not there?"
"Yeah," Newtkit muttered.
"We can try," Mistkit added.
"Thank you," Frostmask breathed, resting her chin on the moss next to the two of them. "My brave, little kits."
She watched them lovingly, purring as Newtkit's and Mistkit's eyelids drooped, sleepiness already overtaking them again. Only a few heartbeats later, they had all drifted off.
The few days until the half-moon passed much too quickly. After fending off Sedgestar's insistent questions about why in StarClan's name his deputy had decided to vanish into the woods for an entire day instead of going to the medicine cat like anyone reasonable, Frostmask spent the rest of her remaining time quietly. She did very little hunting and patrolling. Instead, after she organized the patrols for the day, she ended up spending as much time as possible with Mistkit and Newtkit. She played with them, groomed them, and coasted them into trying their first bites of meat— a freshly killed robin Lizardstrike proudly presented to them.
She refused to consider that these might be the last days that she spent alive with her kits. But, she did still find herself holding them more tightly to her than usual every night when they went into the nursery to sleep.
She was cradling them against her chest in that same way when the night of the half-moon came. She'd been unable to sleep a wink after the sun had went down. Hot anxiety was pulsing much too closely beneath her skin.
Instead of indulging her increasingly fearful thoughts and spiraling into panic, Frostmask busied herself with grooming Newtkit's and Mistkit's pelts to perfection. They were soon lulled to sleep by the rhythmic rasps of her tongue. Once not a single hair on their pelts was out of place, Frostmask chose to occupy her mind by counting their breaths. She watched their round bellies rising and falling, marveling at the downy-soft grey fur of Mistkit's and the adorable little spots that speckled Newtkit's. Frostmask lost count of their breaths several times and had to start over. She was probably on her seventh or eighth attempt when Autumnleap stirred against her back. She didn't think he'd been able to sleep either, but he'd been quiet and still up until now.
"It's time," he murmured.
Frostmask nodded tightly, all of her worry surging back up. She ducked her head to breathe in Mistkit's and Newtkit's sweet, gentle scents one more time before she rose to her paws and delicately stepped over them. Autumnleap licked each of them on their head in turn, lightly enough not to wake them, before he also stood and followed her out of the den.
Frostmask took a trembling breath as she entered into the quiet camp. It felt like her heart was fracturing with each step she took away from her kits, but she couldn't let thoughts about her or Autumnleap dying and leaving them behind distract her. She would need every piece of her wits as focused and sharp as possible when she confronted Paledusk.
Frostmask closed her eyes for a moment, picturing Mistkit's soft, fluffy grey form and Newtkit's sleek tortoiseshell pelt in her mind.
I love you, she told each of them.
Then she gently pushed them aside, tucking them to the very back of her mind and out of her thoughts. Exhaling another heavy breath, Frostmask opened her eyes again to see Autumnleap watching her, his amber eyes solemn.
"Ready?" he asked softly.
"No," Frostmask admitted, but she began to walk towards the thorn tunnel anyway.
They exited camp to see Poolcloud and Pineshade sitting on the other side of the thorn barrier, as expected. Frostmask had assigned them both to guard the camp tonight so they would realize as quickly as possible if Frostmask and Autumnleap weren't going to make it back home.
For a moment, the two pairs of cats just blinked at each other. Frostmask gazed at Poolcloud first before focusing on Pineshade. Sadness prickled at Frostmask's paws. Things with Pineshade had still been tense for the past few days. They'd all spoken often, reenforcing the plan, but Pineshade had refused to talk to Frostmask about anything else beyond that. She was clearly still hurt by Frostmask's actions and secrets.
Frostmask's heart twisted at the thought of leaving things like this between them, especially if she was going to die tonight. But, she didn't know how to fix it. She was already doing all she could— she'd apologized and was now trying to undo her mess with Paledusk. Now it seemed up to Pineshade to decide when, or if, she wanted to offer her forgiveness.
I should just be grateful that she at least still cares about me enough to help me.
"Good luck," Poolcloud whispered, breaking the silence.
He blinked affectionately at the both of them, despite the worry that swirled in his eyes. "I have complete faith in you both. But, just in case things do go bad… you can rely on us."
Frostmask nodded, forcing a soft purr. She glanced at Pineshade again, but she was looking at Autumnleap.
"Keep her safe," Pineshade said in a gruff voice, shuffling her paws. "…And you stay safe too."
Autumnleap lifted his chin.
"No need for such hysterics, Pineshade," he said, arching a brow teasingly. "We've got this."
Frostmask nodded, waiting to see if Pineshade would say anything to her directly. But, Pineshade didn't even respond to her brother's teasing. She was quiet, gazing down at her paws. Frostmask swallowed around the disappointment that rose in her throat.
"We'll be back before dawn," she said, attempting to put on the same confident air as Autumnleap. "See you soon."
She began to turn away.
"Frostmask?" Pineshade said suddenly, stopping Frostmask in her tracks.
She glanced back to see Pineshade had lifted her amber eye and was now staring at her intently.
"I know he's your father," Pineshade said in a low tone, almost a growl. "But if he lunges, you go for the throat."
Frostmask gave a small nod, holding her friend's burning gaze.
"I will," she whispered.
A heavy silence fell over them all. With nothing left to say, Frostmask finally broke eye contact with Pineshade. She and Autumnleap padded into the woods.
Frostmask's first order of business was to make sure that Autumnleap disguised his scent so thoroughly, there was no chance of Paledusk unintentionally noticing his presence. To Autumnleap's credit, he didn't complain once as Frostmask instructed him to roll in a puddle of mud until his pelt was completely covered, and then top off the coat of mud by brushing through a patch of chervil. Once Frostmask was convinced that there was no chance of Paledusk scenting Autumnleap unless he was close enough to step on him, they continued on to Fourtrees.
The walk over there was spent in a tense silence. They had nothing to discuss that they hadn't talked about already. Now the only thing left to do was see Paledusk's response to their plan.
Frostmask and Autumnleap said goodbye at the ShadowClan border. There was a slim chance that Paledusk could be lurking somewhere in ThunderClan's woods, so Frostmask didn't want to risk Autumnleap walking out in the open with her all the way to the slope leading down to Fourtrees.
When they paused at the mouth of ShadowClan's tunnel, Frostmask didn't hesitate to duck her head under Autumnleap's chin, regardless of the mud that clung to his pelt. Autumnleap purred reassuringly, although Frostmask wasn't sure if he was trying more to soothe her or himself. After a few long heartbeats, Frostmask finally pulled back to look at his face.
Despite the mud clumping his fur and disguising his pelt's color, his shining amber eyes were as familiar and comforting as ever. Frostmask searched his gaze, trying to draw strength from it.
"I'll be right behind you," Autumnleap said simply.
Frostmask nodded. There was nothing more to it than that. To actually say goodbye to him… It was too unthinkable.
"Don't let him know you're there," she reminded him.
With that, Frostmask slipped into the tunnel, not giving herself another moment to worry and doubt.
Each of her senses strained at their boundaries as she reached ThunderClan's territory, although it wasn't ThunderClan warriors she was worried about tonight. The wind, at least, was in her favor. It flowed from Fourtrees and buffeted against her nose. The scents didn't warn of any lurking danger ahead, and the breeze also worked to draw her and Autumnleap's scent away from where Paledusk should be coming from. As Frostmask slipped through the thick, dark undergrowth, she kept her ears pricked, trying to pick up any sounds of Autumnleap behind her, but she only heard the slight wind stirring the leaves. That either meant that Autumnleap was demonstrating an excellent feat of stealth, or he was too far behind her for her to hear him. She dearly hoped it was the former.
Finally, Frostmask reached the top of the slope that led down to the Fourtrees hollow. She had hoped that she would arrive early enough to have a chance to compose herself before Paledusk came, but she didn't have that much luck tonight. A white figure was already sitting on one of the Great Oak's roots, his bright pelt only slightly disguised by the shade cast by the tree. Frostmask's anxiety spiked, making her paw-pads damp with perspiration. Exhaling heavily, she forced her legs to carry her forward.
Frostmask didn't attempt any sort of sneaky approach; instead, she just strode out of the undergrowth, finding herself at roughly the opposite end of the hollow as Paledusk. Paledusk spotted her quickly, and rose to trot over. Frostmask felt almost like someone else was controlling her body as her paws took her to the center of the clearing to meet him. Frostmask knew that Paledusk would notice that something was wrong with her within moments. Her breaths were too quick and shallow. She was just barely keeping her paws from trembling. And, she couldn't stop staring at him.
Paledusk, as immaculately groomed and composed as ever, stood in front of her with a stainless white pelt. But, she couldn't look at him without thinking of Salt's recollection— of Paledusk snarling like a mad fox, splattered and dripping with blood. Or, without imagining Paledusk's cool indifference as he clawed May's side to drive her and Frostmask away, uncaring of the fact that his mate was already dying.
Frostmask tasted bile in the back of her throat. Pain, hatred, and even strangely, grief, flooded through her as every emotion she'd bottled up so that she could think, could plan, after Salt had finally told her the truth, came spilling out in the face of Paledusk.
He dipped his head to her in greeting as she reached him.
"Hello, Frostmask," he said, as civil and charming as ever. "How are you this fine evening…"
Paledusk's voice trailed off as he lifted his eyes and finally caught sight of her expression. Puzzlement flickered over his face, but calculative thoughts were already darting in his bright green eyes as he tried to piece together what was wrong— and how he could get ahead of it.
"I need to talk to you." Frostmask's voice was a soft growl. "I found something out. Something deeply troubling."
Paledusk blinked at her, worry shining in his gaze. Could it be genuine? Was it actual worry for her? Or, just worry for himself?
"By all means, tell me," he said.
Frostmask decided not to mince words. She inhaled deeply, bracing herself.
"Slatewhisker wasn't killed by rogues, was he?" she hissed in a low tone. "No. What killed him was something— someone— much closer to home."
Paledusk's ears angled back, but his expression didn't waver.
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
A knot of rage tangled inside Frostmask, the emotion spurning her on.
"I'm talking about you, Paledusk!" she spat, her tail lashing. "You killed Slatewhisker!"
Paledusk froze, his expression unreadable. Frostmask glared at him, waiting for the rebuttal, for the excuses, but there was nothing he could tell her that would change her mind. To Frostmask's utter amazement though, not a single word of denial slipped from Paledusk's lips.
"Whatever it is that you think you know," Paledusk said in a low voice. "I ask that you first allow me to explain."
It was so ridiculous that a burst of sound, half-growl and half-humorless laughter, was torn from Frostmask's throat.
"Explain?! What is there to explain?" she gasped. "You killed him!"
"I cared for Slatewhisker," Paledusk insisted, his jaw clenching. "He was my only littermate and my best friend."
Frostmask's eyes stretched wide in shock. "How could you have cared for him, but also killed him?!"
Paledusk's features drew in a minuscule amount. "It was… a regrettable overreaction."
Frostmask exhaled sharply, almost choking on her incredulousness.
"A— An 'overreaction?!' That's all you have to say about murdering your brother?!" she demanded.
As Paledusk remained silent, Frostmask shook her head, her growl growing louder in her throat as her mind turned to May. "Then what would you call killing your mate by refusing to let me and her join SkyClan? Was that also just an 'overreaction?'"
If Paledusk was surprised by this additional revelation, he didn't show it on his face "May was never a Clan cat. She never wanted to be one and could never be one. I could just see that reality when she could not. My decision avoided an unnecessary confrontation with Fennelstar and my clan-mates. I avoided sentencing her to a life that she would have hated, with cats that would have never accepted her."
"So we deserved to starve to death instead?!" Frostmask snarled.
"No." Paledusk sent her a sharp look. "You are not May, Frostmask. Another regret of mine is that I did not bring you to SkyClan. You are my flesh-and-blood, far more than my brother ever was. Slatewhisker abandoned me and his Clan. Yes, I wish I had tried harder to convince him to stay instead of losing control, but the fact remains that he was a traitor. You, though, understand loyalty. Even with my mistake of not taking you to SkyClan, look at all we've managed to accomplish. We can continue to accomplish so much more." Paledusk's eyes rounded, a fervent glimmer appearing in their bright green depths as he entreated her to understand. "Now with no more secrets between us, we will truly be able to work together. Side-by-side, we can rule these clans. We can establish a legacy— a dynasty— that will last for generations."
Frostmask's lip quavered, and sudden heat prickled in the backs of her eyes.
"You don't understand," she said thickly. "You don't really know anything, do you? You don't know me. We've spoken for so many moons, but I'm not sure if you ever had any idea who I actually am, or what I want. You never even cared to ask." Frostmask set her jaw, fury building in her chest to replace the brief stab of sorrow. "All you've ever done is use me to further your own goals. Don't think I don't see what you're doing with ThunderClan and WindClan, trying to force ShadowClan into an alliance with SkyClan. And, for what? Just for land and power? To kill all of ThunderClan?"
Paledusk blinked at her. "You're a smart cat, Frostmask. Think about it. You must be able to see that is not room in the forest for both ThunderClan and SkyClan. ThunderClan must be dissolved. That so-call 'clan' should have never even existed in the first place! Thunderstar was Skystar's son. He should have ruled SkyClan after his father, not founded a pointless fifth clan. But, we can do what they could not." Paledusk held her gaze, that fervent spark still burning in his eyes. "I am not a monster. If some former ThunderClan cats prove themselves worthy, they can join SkyClan after ThunderClan is gone. Then only SkyClan will remain, as how it always should have been."
Paledusk leaned slightly towards her, his voice dropped to an intent whisper. "Then once you and I are the leaders of SkyClan and ShadowClan, we will be powerful enough to usher in a new era for the forest. We will shape the clans in our image. I do care for you, Frostmask. All that I've wanted has been to use our power for the good of us both."
Frostmask's stomach clenched in shock. Paledusk's delusions of grandeur were even more frightening and grandiose than she could have ever suspected.
"…You 'care' for me?" she hissed from between her fangs. "Like how you cared for Slatewhisker? I don't think you even know the meaning of the word. If you did actually care about me, or know me at all, you'd know that I'd never want to rule the forest! And, I'd rather die than betray my clan-mates by working with you."
Paledusk's eyes narrowed, a dangerous glimmer appearing in their depths, but Frostmask continued before he could speak.
"You're the reason my mother is dead. You're the reason Swoopstrike is dead." Frostmask's voice broke over the words as emotion welled up in her throat and threatened to strangle her. "You even killed your own brother." Frostmask shook her head, the heat of her rage dimming to be replaced by just an aching hollowness. "You can try to justify all of those things to me, or to yourself, or to anyone, but I know the truth now. You're just selfish. You're a poison. You strangle the life out of everything good that you touch. But, I won't let you take anything or anyone else from me."
Frostmask lifted her chin, meeting Paledusk's now unreadable eyes and steeling herself.
"You will never speak to me again, and for as long as you live, you will ensure that SkyClan will never raise a single claw against ShadowClan," she growled. "As a show of good-will, I will do the same, keeping peace between our two Clans. You will also stop whatever trouble you are causing between us and ThunderClan and WindClan— I know you must be the one behind all that. In response, I will stay quiet about you. But, if you don't do those things, I will tell the whole forest your secrets until they all know exactly who you really are, and what you've done. They will know about Slatewhisker. They will know about May. They will know about me."
"You will only turn your own clan-mates against you if you tell them you are half-SkyClan," Paledusk growled.
"I don't care!" Frostmask spat, digging her claws into the ground. "Some of my clan-mates might hate me, yes. But, I didn't chose to be born. You're the one that broke the code. You're the one who will suffer more. In fact, I've already told some cats the truth— all of it. And, if I don't return to my camp in one piece tonight, they will tell the whole forest for me. "
For a moment, Frostmask's threat hung in the air between them. Paledusk was silent as he stared at her, and Frostmask stiffened, fearing that Paledusk may take this rejection from her as poorly as he took the rejection from his brother. But, then Paledusk broke the connection of their gazes, dipping his head.
"Fine. If that is what you wish, I will leave. I'm sorry to have troubled you."
Paledusk turned, and with one swish of his sleek, white tail, he vanished into the undergrowth.
AN: I just love the catharsis of this chapter. It sure has been a long time coming! Thank you all so much for reading as always and I hope you enjoy the fic's approaching conclusion 3 Four more chapters!
Reviews: Cactopus: Yeah it's definitely a lot lol. These last few chapter of the story will be packed!
ShadowDawn93: Thank you so much for reading it! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it :)
simplyaceeee: I hope you enjoyed!
Silvergrass: Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful review! It makes me so happy to hear that you've enjoyed it. I think you are spot on with your analysis of Paledusk. And, as for your question about why Frostmask just didn't ask Redclaw, I think there are a couple reasons. One is that Redclaw would have been able to confirm the injury, but since she was not on the patrol that found May, she may not have known if Paledusk was the source of the injury. Also I think Frostmask had the same concerns with Redclaw as she did with anyone inside ShadowClan, that they would be too loyal to contradict Sedgestar's story, regardless of the truth. That is the main reason she wanted to seek an opinion outside of ShadowClan. Anyway though, it probably was a bit of an oversight on my part to not have Frostmask even consider asking Redclaw.