A/N: Ok i will admit, this rule gave me some trouble, but this oughta be good!
9. Grenades are not toys. So, no more grenade baseball, hockey, or RAM cycle polo.
General Hawk did let this one slide at first, because the Joes and Greenshirts were using unfuzed practice grenades. However, an unfortunate incident led to the implementation of this rule...
"Okay guys lets make sure that we have everything for our game!", called Lady Jaye to a group of Joes who were getting RAM cycles, colored vests, and oddly enough, polo mallets.
"Don't worry, we got everything L.J." said Breaker with a pop of his bubblegum. the group made their way to a field cose to the motor pool where they would play their game of Grenade RAM Cycle Polo!
As they reached the field, Lady Jaye realized that none of them had grabbed the practice grenades that they were to use for the game, so she sent two greenshirts to the armory to get some.
When the two greenshirts arrived to the armory, Beach Head was sitting at the check in/out station. Hearing their footsteps he looked up.
"Hello Private Lieber, Private Ayers, what are y'all here for?", he asked.
"Hi Sergeant Major," said Private Ayers, " We just came to get some practice grenades for our RAM cycle polo game."
The Ranger tilted his head, "Ah yes, Ah heard Lady Jaye mention somethin' about that the other day. Ah set the practice grenades ova there." he nodded in the direction of two small cases marked PRACTICE GRENADES sitting on the floor.
The two Greenshirts walked over to the cases and picked them up.
"Pretty sure y'all know this by now, but y'all be careful with 'em, practice grenades are still grenades, hear?" warned the Ranger.
"Don't worry, Sergeant Major," said Private Lieber, "We're not gonna detonate them or anything like that." With that the two walked out of the armory.
"Pfft," muttered Beach Head to himself, "Polo. Gawddamned rich pogue sports, it's just golf on horseback. What's wrong with real sports, like football, or stock car racin', or..."
Soon the grenade RAM cycle polo game was underway! A crowd of Joes watched from the sidelines as the opposing teams whacked the ball back and forth across the field, neither side gaining an advantage.
"Looks fun eh, Zap?", said Short-Fuze.
"Yeah, man," chuckled Zap, I think I wanna go next!"
"Wish it was bein' played with real horses though.", sighed Wild Bill.
"Hmph, tell me about it." huffed Thunder.
"Horses would be more impressive.", agreed Spirit.
"Still fun though," said Airborne, "Im with Zap, I'd like to go ne-", the helicopter assault trooper suddenly trailed off; he had a strange look on his face, one that Wild Bill had seen too many times to not know what it was.
"Uh-oh, trouble?", asked the Dragonfly pilot.
Airborne pointed at the game, "That grenade, Bill," he said, "somethings wrong with it!"
Airborne jumped up and ran down to the field yelling "STOP THE GAME!!! STOP THE GAME!!!"
Lady Jaye looked up, "What's wrong Airborne?", she asked.
"You've got to stop the game!", he said, "That grenade's gonna blow!"
But it was too late. Just as Lady Jaye blew her whistle to stop the game, Wet-Suit whacked the grenade so hard, it flew out of bounds towards the entrance to the motor pool! And as if that weren't bad enough, the pin had fell completely out!
"Oh, no!" exclaimed Lady Jaye.
Meanwhile at the entrance to the motor pool, Steeler, Clutch, and Heavy Metal were walking out of the garage to bring in a fuel tanker that was parked outside so they could refuel the vehicles that were fresh off the repair line. As they walked, Clutch was talking about a waitress he'd seen at a restaurant in town.
"Guys I'm tellin' ya, this chick was hotter than a volcano!", said the VAMP driver, "I mean she had a face like a movie star, great cans, and legs that go on for days!"
"Didja get her number?" asked Heavy Metal.
"I asked, but she's got a boyfriend!", grumbled Clutch.
Steeler could only shake his head, "Well Clutch, you shouldn't be surprised by that. But, enough of your lack of women we gotta fuel up those-", The MOBAT tanker trailed off as he saw a grenade fly towards the tanker!
"GRENADE!!!", roared Steeler as the three men ran like hell!
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately, Clutch ran a bit too slow, and was rather close to the explosion and took some shrapnel!
"CLUTCH, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!?! SPEAK TO ME?!?!", Steeler cried.
Miraculously, Clutch was alive and in one piece. However, thanks to the shrapnel, he had a rather embarrassing injury to, well read for yourselves:
"OWWW!!! MY ASS!!!", screamed Clutch.
Eventually, an investigation was launched. The grenades were traced back to the manufacturer. This in turn led to the discovery of a Cobra Crimson Guardsman who had replaced the practice grenades with live ones.
The Siegie was then sent on an all expenses paid trip to a federal penitentiary.
Clutch was recovering in the medbay on a special bed so that he could lay face down because...well you know. He wished he was dead though, thanks to all the jokers laughing at him!
"Hey Clutch, when ya get better have a look at my car will ya? I gotta problem with my tailpipe!", chuckled Barbecue.
"It's gonna be a while before that happens, 'Cue. Clutch needs to heal properly." said Doc.
"Hardy har har Barbecue, very funny!", snapped Clutch.
"Oh calm down Clutch, it's not the end!", laughed Gung-Ho.
"I assume he's made because he has to stay behind from missions for a bit!", laughed Dusty.
"Yeah, " laughed Shipwreck "he'll be safer in the rear!"
"Et Tu, Shippy?", groaned Clutch.
"Sorry buddy, it's just too funny!", the sailor snickered.
"Okay guys, quit picking on him." said Scarlett.
"Thank You, Scarlett." Clutch smiled.
"You're welcome, Clutch. After all despite your flaws, you're still a valuable asset to the team." she giggled.
"When I get better, all of you are gonna get a wrench to the head!", he snarled after Scarlett's joke.
"Hey, don't get mad! I'm just letting you know that I've got your back!", Scarlett laughed along with the others.
"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!", yelled Clutch.
General Hawk was not pleased that his best driver was incapacitated due to a game gone wrong, so he added a rule forbidding games with grenades.
No ifs, ands, or BUTS about it!
A/N: Once again, im sorry for the late update.
I hope everyone had a great holiday season! I know I did, because I got some of my first G.I. Joe Classified figures for Christmas!
Poor Clutch! One day I might throw him a bone and let him be the main subject of one of my fics!
Up next, Rule 10!