Chapter 11

John didn't comment when Dean stated he wanted to take a short break before heading back home. He had a good idea what he was going to do but kept his thoughts to himself. It still haunted him what had happened between him and his youngest son. Memories of that night flipped through his mind when Sam told him he was leaving for college. He had gotten a full scholarship at Standford University and was going to start that fall.

Bitter bile rose in the back of his throat as the images switched to a yelling match that almost came to blows if Dean hadn't stepped between them. He had felt betrayed by Sam for wanting to leave before his mission to find the one who had killed their mother, his wife, and all the others were brought to justice. He had made it his life's mission to find every last one and destroy them.

After being sure he had everything, John shouldered his bags and paused for a moment to listen to the water running in the bathroom, before heading out to his truck. He stored the bags in the back and dropped into the driver's seat, cranking the car to head home. It would be a long trip back to Lawrence, but he had gotten used to it over the years.

John never remarried or even had a relationship with another woman since Mary's death. She was his true love and soul mate. There was no one out there that could ever replace her. There had been the occasional one-night stands, but they were few and far between. His main focus was on training his sons to follow in his footsteps and find Mary's murderers from the one who actually killed her to the one who ordered the hit.

Deciding not to push himself, John got a motel room as evening darkened the sky and the sun disappeared. It was a small, family run place that was quaint and cosey. Not what he usually picked but it was convenient. After getting a room, he took a shower to help relax after the drive. He lay on the bed watching some random action movie when his cell started ringing.

With an annoyed huff, John got up from the bed to find his jacket and dig out his cell.

"Hello," John greeted the caller.

"Dad, Sammy's missing," Dean blurted out without any small talk.

"Dean? Hold on, what are you talking about?" John questioned as he sat at the table and tried to make sense of what Dean was saying.

"I went to find Sammy at Standford to be sure he was okay. But the thing is, he's not there. Admission said he left before the first semester was finished. I've searched the DMV database, and his address is still Lawrence. I checked all the local papers about maybe an accident or something around that time but didn't find anything there either. I don't know what happened to him Dad," Dean finally ran out of steam and let his voice trail off.

"Easy there, son; there's got to be a logical explanation. Where are you? I'll head back your way early in the morning. I need a little sleep after the drive."

"I'm at a motel in Palo Alto called The Baywood, room 7."

"Stay there and I'll get there as soon as I can."

"Should I go to the local cops and file a missing person's report? What if he was hurt or…Killed…And he had no ID. He would be listed as a John Doe."

"It's a start. I have some contacts there we can get in touch with too. Don't panic or worry. Sam is a smart kid and there must be a reason for this."

"I should have tried to contact him sooner," Dean mumbled beating himself up for what happened.

"Sam made his choice. We abided by that. If he wanted to talk to us, he would have called."

"Really!" Dean growled in anger. "Is your memory that bad? I recall you told him to never come back," he accused his father.

"I don't like that tone of voice Dean," John spat back. "Remember who you're talking to. I'm still your father."

"Yes sir," Dean whispered as he ground his teeth to not say more. His main concern was finding Sammy and he needed John's help.

"I'll see you tomorrow." John hung up and laid the cell on the table as his mind whirled with the news of his youngest son being missing. He knew Dean blamed John for not wanting to contact his brother since he had been gone. He chalked it up to the Winchester stubbornness and his hardheadedness that he could also see in his oldest son. Sam had a personality like his mother, gentle, kind, loving, and always had a smile.

John stepped to his duffle and rummaged around for a bottle of whiskey he kept in there. He looked at the amber liquid for a moment before snagging a plastic glass and pouring a generous portion. He swirled it around for a moment and then swallowed half of it. He grimaced as the strong-tasting whiskey burned his throat and warmed him all the way down to his stomach. After a small cough, he finished his drink and fought whether to pour another one.

It took all his willpower to not finish off the bottle but knew he needed to have a clear head in order to help his son. He put the bottle back and went to his bed to lay down. He needed sleep so he could backtrack and go back to California and join forces with his oldest son. He closed his eyes and let the soft muffled voices from the television lull him into a restless sleep. The most vivid one was him reaching for his youngest son only to have him jerked away and disappear into the darkness with his name being called by Sam.

Spn

The traffic was picking up as John entered the city limits of Palo Alto. He got stuck in the rush hour commuters and didn't think he would ever get to the motel Dean was staying at. He pulled into the parking lot and drove around to the back to park beside the Impala. He got out and went to room number 7, knocking twice and waiting for Dean to answer it.

"Dad," Dean greeted him as he opened the door wider so John could come inside.

"Hello son," John replied, stepping into the small room and glancing around. He saw the unmade bed with covers wadded at the bottom, his laptop opened on the table, empty cartons of takeout food, and empty bottles of beer sitting around it. It looked like he had been there days instead of just over twenty-four hours.

"I've done what I can, but we need someone with better computer skills than me," Dean started.

"Let me catch my breath Dean," John sighed before dropping into a chair at a tiny table by the window. He picked up an open bottle of water and downed it in several long gulps.

"Sorry, I'm just…" Dean trailed off as he paced the room trying to control his mounting panic. He didn't sleep last night and used every skill he had to try and track his brother after he left college, but nothing panned out.

"We'll find him son," John told him. "I know someone who can help. You met him at the Roadhouse once, but I don't think you really noticed him."

"Damnit!" Dean chastised himself smacking his forehead. "Ash, I never thought of him."

John got his cell out and made a call. Dean dropped into the other chair at the table and listened intently to the one-sided conversation. His hopes inched upward a notch in the hopes that Ash could find his brother.

A/N: They know Sam is gone but not what happened to him. What is going to be their reactions when they learn what he did. Thank you for coming on this journey. Thank you to any guests who left reviews/comments. I do like reviews/comments. NC