Chapter 3: Can We Just Agree on One Thing?

A couple days later, when Chandler met Rachel for coffee at Central Perk and told her about the incident, she laughed and laughed.

"It's not funny!" Chandler whined, staring at how Rachel was actually moving to wipe tears of mirth from her eyes.

"I know…. I know, sweetie, it's just…." Rachel shook her head. "Oh, I feel bad for you…"

Chandler jeered. "I'd feel bad for you too, if you had to deal with their dirty looks. We should all be so grateful they didn't fall out of Monica's…."

"Chandler!" Rachel whacked him, admonishingly.

Chandler snorted dismissively. "I'm just saying – grown adults, acting like little brats! Here's hoping that the kid actually growing in Monica's belly is going to be more like her and not its dad!"

Rachel smiled sympathetically. She leaned forward over the small bistro table thoughtfully.

"Did anything actually happen between you and Mon that would have made Michelle and Tim worried?"

"No!" Chandler gawped. "I carried Monica up to bed, went to the restroom. I was all ready to take the couch when she asked me to stay with her! She asked me to!"

Rachel grinned almost knowingly, perhaps detecting the pride in Chandler's voice when he said this. "Then that's all there is to it," she shrugged. "You shouldn't have to apologize for acting like a perfect gentleman around her. If Michelle and Tim don't want to believe that nothing happened, then that's their problem."

Chandler gawked and began to wildly gesticulate with his hands. "Except nothing did happen! Nothing!" he squeaked.

Rachel took Chandler's hand. "Tim and Michelle are going to be a little possessive around Monica. They're circling the wagons, just trying to protect her. That's probably more than we could say for most step-kids in their situation." At Chandler's jaw dropping again, she held up a finger. "However: they are going to have to get used to the fact that there will be other people around who want to be there for Monica. Joey's staying with her today."

Chandler curled into himself, arms folded, grumbling darkly. "Yeah. If Michelle and Tim ever wanted to be concerned about someone 'making a play,' Joey would be their guy!"

Rachel tilted her head at him chidingly. "Chandler: you have more faith in your roommate than that. You know and I know that our Joey, for all his… instincts, is a better man than that."

Chandler sighed. "Yeah…. I know…. He's probably hovering around her like she's another one of his seven little sisters…."

Rachel smirked. "He would, at that."

Chandler thrummed his fingers around the rim of his coffee mug. Finally, he glanced up.

"Do you think I should take a step back? Let you guys hold down the fort and be there for Monica until this whole thing with Richard's kids… blows over…?"

Rachel pursed her lips. "Well, now, I wouldn't let Tim and Michelle scare you off. Tim especially can run a little hot under the collar. Don't you remember at the wedding, when he got drunk and tried to hit on Phoebe?"

Chandler grinned. "Ross and Joey were about ready to tackle him."

Rachel chuckled. "Besides, you don't want to step back and have Monica wonder why, or wonder if it's on her account. She needs you, perhaps even more than she needs any of us." She grinned at her friend kindly. "She did ask for you, and only you, to stay that night. She really is so fond of you, Chandler."

Chandler nodded, head hung. He could feel Rachel watching him, likely even sensing all the jumbled emotions inside of him. She took his hand again.

"Give it time…"

"If I ever did…. tell her…. if something ever did…. happen…." Chandler blurted out suddenly. He glanced up and peered into Rachel's face searchingly. "… would I have your blessing?"

Rachel pursed her lips in thought. "…. You would, honey," she stated finally. "Of course, it would all depend on how Monica felt." She eyed Chandler meaningfully. "You might need to be prepared that she doesn't…."

Chandler nodded quickly, trying to fight back tears at the very thought. "I've waited this long. I can wait a little longer. And if it's not to be, I'll suffer in silence, but…" He didn't finish, patting Rachel's hand as he rose to leave.

"I still think it would go a long way if I apologized anyhow. You wouldn't happen to have Tim or Michelle's contact information, would you?"

Rachel bit her lip. "I still have Richard's old office line, from when I was his patient. You might be able to reach Tim at the practice that way, now that he's taken over." She provided him with the number.

"Great. Thanks, Rache!" he buzzed her on the cheek.

"I'll ask Mon for Michelle's number, and try to keep it casual. Remember:" she called to Chandler's retreating back. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"I know," Chandler nodded gratefully. "But I'm still going to."

Chandler had never once set foot in the late Dr. Richard Burke's ophthalmology practice. Monica had registered as a patient with him soon after they met and began dating at a catering function she had hosted for her future husband. Certainly, it would not have been above-board for Monica and Richard to get involved after she was his patient. Her glowing recommendation, while by that point more than a little biased, had convinced the others to migrate on over, even Joey, despite the tenuous status of his health insurance. Chandler had begged off, using his 20-20 vision as an excuse.

That had been the first time that he had acknowledged jealousy, much less deeper feelings for his best friend, on his part. But by that point, it was too late to tell her.

He had watched Monica and Richard's relationship progress seriously, to the point that she eventually moved out of Bedford Street and to his mansion on Long Island. When the couple had gotten engaged, he had put on a brave face, for Monica's sake. The wedding in Westchester County had been admittedly beautiful, and Chandler had been there with bells on, the better to cover how he was dying inside.

Rachel had discovered Chandler's feelings for her best friend almost by accident, at the reception, when she had encountered Chandler outside the bathroom only to find him drunk and crying and bemoaning in incoherent babble about his 'lost love.' To her everlasting credit, Rachel had kept his secret, and had been supportive long past the point when lesser friends would have probably told him to get over himself.

Chandler set aside these painful memories as he walked into Burke Ophthalmologists. He approached the front desk, and cleared his throat to get the attention of the front desk secretary; when he did, she studied him severely.

"Uh…. hi…. I'm here to see Dr. Tim Burke…."

"Do you have an appointment?"

Chandler winced. "No….."

"Are you a new patient?"

"Er….. no…. I'm just here to talk to him about a personal matter…."

The secretary pressed a button corresponding to the intercom. "Doctor, there's a gentleman out here who says he needs to speak with you…."

"It's urgent," Chandler supplied helpfully. Actually, it really wasn't, and Chandler's nerves were now such that he was starting to wonder whether he should just come back later.

"…. He says it's urgent." The secretary half-glared at Chandler. "Probably some solicitation…."

"No, this isn't a solicitation…"

"I'll be right out…." Tim rumbled over the intercom, the sigh in his voice apparent when crackling through the sound system.

Chandler stepped back from the front desk and waited patiently. Finally, Dr. Tim Burke emerged from a door on the right. He pulled up short and froze when he saw Chandler.

"Oh. It's you…."

Chandler nodded, stepping forward. "Can we talk? If you're not busy…"

Tim glanced back down the hallway behind him uncertainly. Finally, he beckoned Chandler forward. "Linda," he called to his secretary. "Have Teri take over for me with Mrs. Wilzheimer. I'll just be a minute…"

Tim led Chandler back into an empty examination room. Chandler scanned the examination table nearby and was relieved to find no sharp objects that Tim might use to attack him.

Richard's son finally turned back to Chandler, arms folded.

"It's Chandler, right? What do you want?" He didn't even give Chandler a moment to answer before he was launching in. "Oh, I know…. you're here to ask for my blessing, is that it?"

Chandler clenched his jaw. He worked to keep his breathing in check. This was Monica's son by marriage, whom she presumably loved, no matter how much of an ass he could be.

"Can we agree on just one thing?"

Tim nodded warily. "I suppose…."

"That we both want to protect Monica and be what's best for her. For me, what is best for her is that I am there for her as a friend." Chandler emphasized the last word heavily, letting it almost drip from his mouth. "Your stepmother is my oldest and dearest friend. That's it."

"But you want more," Tim accused, eyeing Chandler hard.

"No." It was a lie, but Chandler at least knew how to lie better than Joey, or Monica, for that matter. That should have been more than enough to put an end to it.

But then Chandler opened his mouth and overplayed his hand. "Even if I did, that's none of your business."

"The welfare of my stepmother, who is carrying my baby brother, is completely my business, thank you very much!" Tim hissed, the fury in his tone palpable.

Chandler held up his hands in surrender. "Look, Tim, believe whatever you want. But I know that nothing untoward happened between Monica and me, the night of the wake. She personally asked for me to stay behind, and then she asked me to lie down next to her. Just to sleep. If she hadn't asked, I never would have done even that."

Tim stewed, arms folded. "Some best friend you are, then." He actually had the gall to use air quotes.

Chandler took a deep breath through his nose. He decided to de-escalate the anger with kindness, as much as he thought this piece-of-shit nepo baby didn't deserve it.

"…. Monica is very lucky. To have family like you and Michelle." At Tim's dumb blinking, he plowed on. "I don't know many adults who would stand by their widowed step-parent in a tragic situation like this."

Tim seemed knocked off-step by the compliment. Glancing down, he mumbled, "She's pregnant with my baby brother. What do you think we would do: abandon her?"

Chandler was almost tempted to ask if Tim's loyalty would hold if Monica wasn't pregnant with his little sibling, but he figured that would be too low a blow. He ducked his head, meeting Tim's eyes.

"You know that song by The Remembrandts?"

Tim frowned. "You talking about the one that goes…?" He hummed a few bars.

Chandler nodded. "For my friends and me, that's more than just a song. It's more of an ironclad rule. I am going to be there for her, Tim – as her best friend – and you're gonna have to be OK with that."

"Fine," Tim quipped curtly. "But I'm going to be watching you – and you're gonna have to be OK with that."

Chandler dipped his head cordially. "Fine." And he swept from the examination room and then the office.