Chapter 5: Emotional. Hormonal. Gorgeous.

"I've been meaning to apologize to you on behalf of my stepchildren."

It was a couple of days later, about late morning, and Chandler was nearing the end of his Monica shift. He and his best friend were in the kitchen, cleaning up some of the last of the breakfast plates.

Monica turned from where she was gazing out the picture window into the front yard and smiled apologetically at Chandler, her palm resting on her distended belly. Chandler swallowed and he tried not to stare, mesmerized by how lovely she looked, especially with the sunlight hitting her just so.

"They're usually not like that…"

Chandler blinked and cleared his mind, grinning at her easily. "Hey, you know – it's all right. I, uh…. I actually made the rounds with both Tim and Michelle just to smooth things over."

Monica looked even further embarrassed on his behalf. "You shouldn't have had to…." she mumbled.

"I wanted to," he insisted.

"But there was nothing you needed to explain! Let alone apologize for!" Monica insisted. "They know how you're my best friend, and…" she abruptly stopped, her hand shifting down her stomach, and she let out a little gasp. "Oh, my God…. Chandler…. come here…"

"What?" Chandler drifted into her. "What's wrong?"

"The baby…." And when Monica lifted her head, Chandler could see tears shimmering in her sapphire-blue eyes. "He's…. he's kicking…."

"Really?" Chandler grinned weakly as Monica guided his hand to cup her ballooning belly, letting him feel along the curvature until –

There was a sudden fluttering from the walls within, strong enough that Chandler nearly snapped his hand back. "Whoah!" He beamed. "That's wild….!"

He laughed, and Monica giggled with him until the sound turned into a choked sob. She drooped her head into her palm. Chandler frowned.

"Mon….?"

"I – I wish he was here to see this….!" Monica blubbered, melting into Chandler's arms. Chandler wordlessly held her, rubbing her back as she leaned her head against his chest. He rested his chin on the top of her head, much as he had when they had hugged at the funeral, and tried not to let the flashbacks from when he'd first heard the news overtake him all over again.

"Thank God you weren't in that car…. that night…" he breathed hoarsely.

Monica sniffled, shifting a little to burrow further in his warmth.

"I wanted to go to the fundraiser that night…." She mumbled. Drawing back, she grinned up at Chandler tremulously. "I tried to tell Richard that I would be fine, that I wasn't far enough along, and he about had a fit. He insisted that I should remain off my feet, and deserved a break. I waited up for him, but eventually I fell asleep on the couch…." She wiped at her eyes. "Next thing I knew, I got woken up by the cops banging on my door…."

Chandler brushed some loose hair back out of her face. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

"I know," Monica crooned. "…. Thanks….."

They remained frozen like that for a moment, gazing into each other's eyes. Whatever spell they were under was now broken by someone knocking on the door. Monica jumped sharply, probably all the worse considering the memory she had just been reliving.

"That will be Ross…" she murmured quietly, her voice in an odd kind of hoarse whisper.

"He has a key…." Chandler breathed, sounding somewhere outside of himself.

When the knock came again, louder this time, Monica stepped out of Chandler's arms and bustled into the foyer.

Ross was on the front stoop, grinning like an excited little boy.

"Changing of the guard?" Chandler asked, grinning easily at his old college roommate while ambling into the foyer.

"Actually, I was hoping you'd be up and dressed," Ross glanced away from his best friend to smile down at his little sister. "There's a carnival the next town over; I noticed it on my drive in. And well…. once I called the others and Joey heard about it…"

Monica's face fell, and she glanced back at Chandler. "Oh, sweetie, I…. I don't know…."

"You're coming," Ross insisted. "You haven't left the house in weeks! A bit of sunshine will do you some good, Mon!" Then, he added, almost as a kind of leveraging tactic. "Think of the baby! It needs sunshine too!"

Monica smirked, amused. "The baby is currently sitting in my dark womb. It doesn't see or feel sunlight, Ross! As a scientist, I would think you would know that!"

"Come on, Monica, he's a geek about dinosaurs, not babies!" Chandler quipped. "He still doesn't know how to interact with Ben yet!"

"Ha, ha," Ross scowled. He tugged at his sister's hands insistently. "Come on! Please? We'll take the Porsche! Pheebs said she would bring the others in the cab!"

Monica glanced to Chandler again.

"I think some fresh air would do you some good," he told her gently. No matter whether the baby could feel the effects of said fresh air or sunlight or not, Ross was right: she needed to get out at least once. Start to live life again. At the same time: "We don't have to stay for long if you don't want to. Just let us know if you're feeling morning sickness or anything like that, and we'll bring you straight back here."

Monica grinned, pleased by the compromise. "Thanks!"

It happened so fast, Chandler almost missed it: she reared up and brushed her lips along his cheek. He fought not to jerk sharply in surprise, and fought even harder to keep his smile from appearing like one of elation. Luckily, Ross didn't notice any of this.

Phoebe had her tongue sticking out in concentration as she sized up the stacked milk bottles from several feet away. When it came to matters of competition, she was almost as bad as Monica. Watching her, Chandler found it hard not to smirk.

Phoebe finally tossed the ring, and knocked all the bottles down, the tower of them collapsing with a clatter.

"YES!" Phoebe pumped her fist. "Suck it, Geller!"

Next to her, Ross groaned and stared morosely at his own pile of milk bottles, still standing upright except for the top bottle that he'd only just barely managed to nick aside.

Letting Phoebe enjoy her victory, Chandler cast a glance back over his shoulder. Across the way, Monica and Joey were getting into a ski-ball duel to the death. He couldn't tell definitively from this distance, but it appeared that Monica had a smile on her face.

"Hey…." His attention was turned back to Rachel, who now stepped into him and rubbed her hand along his back. "Relax…. She's fine…. She's having a good time…." She nodded to Ross appreciatively while Phoebe picked her prize from the booth-keeper. "This was a nice idea, Ross. Well done."

Ross blinked, his spirits marginally lifted from his loss at the bottle toss. "Thanks, Rache."

"Hey."

The group turned back as Joey and Monica rejoined them, the latter looking a little pale. For his part, Joey appeared uncomfortable.

"What's the matter, bud?" Chandler frowned.

"This guy was hitting on Monica, over by the ski-ball slopes," Joey rasped.

"What….?" Ross's brow furrowed, craning his neck around the others to try and see across the way.

Rachel groaned. "Uggh! Where do men get off, hitting on pregnant women like that?"

"Yeah, and with a ring on her finger!" Joey grumbled.

At the comment, Chandler glanced down at Monica's hand, and realized that Joey was right: even after close to a month since her husband's death, Monica still wore her wedding ring.

"Did you explain the situation…?" Chandler asked.

Joey ogled him. "It's just as well we didn't get the chance! I think bereavement and widowhood would have only encouraged him, to be honest!"

Chandler glanced over in the direction of the ski-ball slopes: his eyes landed on a guy who was staring at Monica with a hungry gaze. Chandler did his best to stare the creep down.

"Some schmuck named Pete…. Tried to give her his number…." Joey was muttering to Rachel and Phoebe.

Chandler made a very deliberate decision. In full view of this Pete loser, he curled an arm around Monica's waist and pulled her close, into his side.

"Chandler…? What are you doing….?" Monica peered up at him.

"Sending a message. Just play along, OK?"

Picking up on his aim, Monica nodded and leaned against him. Chandler watched as Pete picked up on the subliminal hint. He blinked, frowned, but his face fell and he turned and slunk away.

Chandler smirked. Yeah, she's mine, dickwad. Now, scram!

Rachel noticed the exchange, and nodded at Chandler thankfully.

Clearly shaken by the encounter, Monica begged to be taken home not long after. The group headed for the Burke mansion in two separate cars, Chandler and Monica in the backseat of the Porsche with Ross at the wheel. Monica leaned against Chandler sleepily.

Chandler helped his best friend inside while Ross waited out on the drive with the engine running.

"I'm sorry if I made you any more uncomfortable than you already were…" Chandler felt the need to apologize.

"You didn't," Monica beamed at him gratefully. "That was quick thinking on your part, actually…." She sighed, looking near tears again.

"Monica…?"

"Maybe I should have explained my situation and asked for a rain check with that guy. Taken his number for later, you know?"

Chandler let out a disbelieving laugh. "Trust me, hon, you don't want to give an inch to a guy like that. He's a perv!"

Monica chuckled. "I know. I just…." Her bottom lip trembled through a pout, and she started to weep. "I – I just want to be married again!" Chandler recalled Ross saying something of the same soon after his divorce with Carol – it had been funny because immediately after those words left his lips, Rachel had burst into the coffeehouse in a wedding dress and the gang had met her for the first time. Monica now clutched at her swollen stomach, where her and Richard's baby lay within. "Well…. maybe not married, but at least I want to be with someone again! My life was perfect, I had everything I wanted and then…." She hiccupped. She gazed at Chandler helplessly. "I'm having this baby now by myself…. But I don't want to be alone….!"

"You won't be alone," Chandler vowed firmly, gripping her arms. He caught her eyes and held them. "I promise, Monica: you won't ever be alone."

She gazed at him dolefully, her deep blue eyes blinking, and then they suddenly softened in the instant before she was framing Chandler's face in her hands, looping an arm about his neck and tenderly kissing him on the lips.

It took everything in Chandler not to give in with a lustful groan and kiss her back. When he felt himself starting to, he pulled away.

"No. Monica…." He cleared his throat. At his voice, Monica jerked and shied away, her kiss-swollen mouth falling open as her eyes popped and she gasped, realizing what she had just done.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, her voice small. "I…. I don't know what came over me! I'm emotional. I'm grieving. I'm hormonal on account of the baby, and…"

"…. Gorgeous," Chandler breathed out, unable to help himself. "You're also gorgeous." His eyes made an appraising sweep down her belly, her expanding chest, which he now saw was flushing red.

The instant he said this, Chandler inwardly panicked. Once again, he had shown his hand, and to the last person he had wanted to show it to, at least for now. Monica's eyes expanded a little more, and Chandler cast his gaze down to the floor. "I'm sorry: that was out of line, after the day you've had."

"Don't be…" Monica crooned. When Chandler finally had the courage to look her in the face, she was peering at him as if she had never seen him before.

"How long?" she finally asked, and the question echoed through the kitchen like a thunderclap.

Chandler swallowed. Let it be. There was no turning back now. He would say his piece, and brace himself for her to crush his heart. "I….. I first felt things…. shifting…. after you and Richard got engaged." At Monica's look of astonishment, he averted his eyes, almost ashamed. "At the time, I knew I couldn't say anything; it would have been wrong. And you were so happy. And because I love you and you were happy, I did what made sense then: I let you go."

Monica's lips pursed in an emotional line, appearing moved. "Chandler…"

"I told myself that I would wait!" Chandler snapped, frustrated. "After the crash, it was the honorable thing to do, especially after Tim and Michelle got all up in my case! Hell, I never thought I would have another chance like this! I waited forever for you, and then I lost you, to what I thought was forever, and now…." He shook his head. "Now, there's no point. I've jumped the shark. You're still in love with someone else. Someone who's no longer here. I'm not going to put any pressure on you the way that Pete loser did today at the fair."

Monica was quiet for a long moment. At last, she spoke:

"Just because it's hard for me to imagine moving on from Richard now…. doesn't mean I never will…."

Chandler glanced up sharply, hardly daring to believe it. Monica swallowed.

"Let's….. take this slow for now. We'll wait until after the baby is born. Then, if you still…. have feelings for me…. maybe we can…. give this a try?" she winced shyly.

Chandler nodded dumbly, his heart pumping euphoria through his body. "I'll always love you, Mon." He grinned. "I've waited this long. I can wait a little longer."

Monica nodded. "You'll stay with me? And the baby?"

"Whenever, wherever and however long you need me to."

Monica smiled. "I'll always need you, Chandler…" Deciding something, she floated into him. Perching up on her tiptoes, she hesitantly, tentatively, brushed her mouth along his again in a gentle kiss. This time, Chandler closed his eyes and returned it.

Monica drew back, blinking rapidly. "Oh, wow…." She breathed, half to herself. She licked her lips and finally, weakly smiled.

"Goodnight…."

Chandler floated out of the Burkes' mansion in a daze; he hardly noticed Phoebe passing him in the opposite direction to assume her post on evening duty. Leaping into the Porsche, he was grinning from ear to ear broad enough for Ross to notice and frown.

"The fuck's the matter with you?"

"Nothing," Chandler quipped.

He waited until the wind was whistling loud enough, as Ross gunned the Porsche down the highway at the speed limit, before he let out a cheer.