A/N: This is the final chapter currently, but if you'd like an extra one where Arthur talks to Merlin, let me know :) Thanks for reading!

Chapter 3

Arthur shot upright, breathing heavily. He looked his body over, baffled to find no signs of burns. No signs of the fire he'd just died in. He didn't understand. Morgana had just killed him, hadn't she? But, as he thought about it, he knew another ending to the version of events he'd just been through. One where Morgana's magic had failed her and they'd taken Camelot back. One where he'd married Gwen, she'd been crowned queen and they'd been together all through winter, ruling Camelot in harmony until one spring day when they'd gone for a ride in the woods and a picnic.

Arthur looked across from where he was lying and scrambled to his feet. He was in the forest, where they'd stopped to eat and where they'd been ambushed. Where Guinevere and Merlin had been enchanted and were now lying on the blanket side by side, still sleeping peacefully. No one else was there.

The king scrambled over to them and checked them over. Neither seemed to be in danger. They'd both moved slightly from the position they'd been put in by the people who'd attacked them. Gwen had turned her head to one side so it was cushioned by her soft hair and she'd curled her legs up a little. Merlin had rolled onto his side and those little twitches of his face and fingers that Arthur had searched for unsuccessfully when he'd first been put to sleep were back. Hopefully that meant that they were waking up, no longer in the depths of their enchantments.

Arthur kissed Guinevere on the forehead lovingly and gently stroked her cheek before turning his attention to Merlin. Despite the little movements his servant was making, Arthur couldn't help but press his fingers to Merlin's neck and waited until he could feel a pulse. Even though Merlin was alive, Arthur didn't think he'd ever shift the guilt that had overwhelmed him when he'd sentenced him.

Arthur sat by their feet to wait for them to wake up, taking one of their hands each and cherishing the life in them while he thought over what happened.

He'd sentenced Merlin to death and then been shown a vision of something he'd lived through before. When Morgana, Agravaine and Helios had taken Camelot and they'd ended up fleeing the city, seeking shelter in Ealdor, being chased by his uncle's army, finding Leon and the knights, and retuning to Camelot.

But in Arthur's dream, Merlin hadn't been there. They hadn't met Tristan or Isolde and Will was still alive. It had been Arthur and Percival who had taken action to kill Agravaine. And Arthur had died. Morgana had won, her magic working perfectly.

Had Arthur been shown how those events would have played out should Merlin not have existed? Parts of that made sense. Will being alive, not meeting the smugglers in the forest. Even the situation in the caverns. It had been Merlin that went back to lead them away. But Morgana's magic? Arthur's death? How had Merlin prevented that?

The king sat there with his thoughts, trying to figure everything out for quite some time.

And then, finally, Merlin's hand twitched in his. Arthur had long since got used to the little tapping of Merlin's fingers against his, the gentlest of movements. This was a lot more than that though, his wrist twisting and whole hand curling up.

"Merlin?"

Merlin groaned and his face scrunched up. He stretched his neck, rolling back to lie flat on his back before finally, his eyes opened. They focused on Arthur immediately, "Arthur?"

"As usual, Merlin, your observational skills astound me."

"What happened?" he looked down and yawned widely, "Why are we holding hands?"

Arthur snatched his hand away, "Don't be ridiculous."

"What happened? What's going on?" he looked around, "Gwen?"

"Just lie back," Arthur said, "I'll explain everything when Guinevere has awoken."

"Were we attacked?" Merlin ignored him, "Is she injured?"

"What did I just say?" Arthur snapped, "Relax, will you?"

Merlin eyed him suspiciously and yawned again. But Arthur's attention was taken by Gwen when she let out a little squeak and stirred. "Arthur," she mumbled.

Arthur sat beside her and lifted her body a little, holding her head with one hand and placing the other on her waist. He held her while she woke up, confused as to why that made him feel slightly guilty. Gwen would open her eyes to love and affection and the warmth of Arthur's arms. Merlin woke to teasing and insults. That consideration confused Arthur. He'd never doubted his treatment of his servant before.

He had half an eye on Merlin as he sat up and stretched, yawning yet again and rubbing his eyes aggressively. But when Gwen's eyelids finally separated, Arthur smiled at her.

"Arthur."

"You're safe. Everything's alright."

"I-"

Arthur hushed her gently, "Take your time. It's alright."

"I should see to the horses," Merlin made to excuse himself but Arthur stopped him.

"Sit down and stay still," he said, "Just wait."

"Alright," Merlin huffed, a little affronted.

Arthur helped Gwen sit up, making sure she was upright steadily before moving away. "Merlin, was there any food left over?"

"A little, I'll-"

"I'll get it. Stay here."

He took the time to figure out what he was going to tell them. Obviously not the truth. He could never admit to what he'd done to Merlin. Gwen would never forgive him and Merlin-

Actually, Arthur didn't really know how Merlin would react. Knowing him, he'd probably say he did the right thing, and that of course Gwen was more important. But if the guilt was eating Arthur now, he'd never survive the feeling of admitting everything.

He returned with a few bits of fruit and a water skin which he shared between the two.

"Arthur, what happened?" Gwen asked gently, "Are you alright?"

"We were attacked," Arthur told them, "A group of smugglers passing through that didn't want to risk us coming across them on our way back to Camelot. They knocked you both out."

Merlin's hand drifted to his head, feeling around for any form of bump and regarding Arthur suspiciously.

"I fought a few off but knew I couldn't fight them all on my own and I couldn't risk anything happening to you," he made sure he was looking at his wife when he said that, "So I bargained with them. Granted them free passage an honest work to let us go with our lives."

They both stared at him in disbelief.

"I don't feel like I was hit," Gwen said, "I feel good. Well rested. Not sore at all."

"You must have been lucky. We should get going, if you feel well enough to move."

"I feel fine, Arthur, I promise," she looked to Merlin who nodded, still looking wary.

"Right, let's go. We should let Gaius see to you."

They rode back silently, Arthur too caught up in his thoughts to force conversation.

When they reached the courtyard, Arthur helped Gwen off her horse and held her arm. "Merlin, see to the horses and supplies," he ordered, without sparing the man even a glance, "When you're done, finish my laundry and then I don't want to see you until the morning. Find someone else to tend to me tonight."

"Sire?" Merlin asked, holding the horses and watching as the royals walked away. Arthur didn't turn back once but Gwen looked at him in confusion over her shoulder.

"Arthur," she whispered to him as they climbed the steps, "What-"

"Leon!" Arthur got the attention of his knight, "Take the queen up to our chambers and stay with her until Gaius arrives. We were attacked while riding and she needs to rest."

"Arthur!" Gwen protested.

"Of course," Leon stepped forward and held out his arm, "My lady."

"Arthur, I feel fine."

"Better to be safe than sorry," he kissed her briefly, "Gaius will be with you soon. Just relax."

Arthur strode off towards the physician's chambers. If anyone would be able to make sense of what happened, it would be Gaius. But the king would have to be careful with what he revealed.

"Sire," Gaius bowed his head when he entered the room, "Is everything alright?"

"I need you to tend to Guinevere," Arthur requested, "We were ambushed by bandits in the forest and she was knocked unconscious. She claims she feels fine and I can't find anything to suggest otherwise but-"

"Of course, sire, I'll see to her right away."

"Before you go," Arthur said, "What do you know about visions?"

"What kind of visions?"

"Dreams of the past," Arthur said, "But not the past as it happened."

"I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you're asking, my lord. Did something happen?"

"I-" Arthur sighed, "Yes. I was shown visions of when Morgana took Camelot. But the events I dreamt weren't exactly what happened."

"What was different?"

"Morgana won," Arthur said, "We failed to reclaim the kingdom and she had me executed."

"I see. Most disturbing."

"Is it possible that these events could have been an alternative to what really happened had things been different?"

"There are many alternative endings to every situation. May I ask what brought these visions on?"

"There was a sorcerer," Arthur admitted, "He told me he wanted to help me."

Gaius studied him, "Perhaps you were shown these visions for a reason then."

"What should I do with them?"

"Consider what was different," Gaius suggested, "And learn from the consequences of those differences."

Arthur nodded. The difference was fairly obvious. The only one that made sense given what led up to the visions being shown to him. He was fairly sure now that had he chosen to save Merlin and condemn Gwen, he'd have been shown something quite different. He'd have been shown what followed the battle in Camelot but without Gwen rather than Merlin. And he had a feeling that the end result wouldn't have been quite so catastrophic.

"Sire? The queen?"

"Yes," Arthur blurted out, "Thank you, Gaius. And please, don't mention the sorcerer to anyone else. Guinevere is shaken by the attack enough as it is, she needn't know magic was involved."

The physician bowed again and made to leave.

"Gaius?"

"Yes, sire?"

"Merlin," Arthur said, "He was knocked out too. I've given him the rest of the day off once he's finished seeing to the horses. Just make sure he's ok."

"Of course, my lord."

Once he was alone, Arthur paused. He needed somewhere to go where he could think everything through without being disturbed. He made his way to the battlements, as high up and far away from anyone as he could go and looked out across the kingdom.

Part of him had given Merlin time off to make sure he was alright after the events of the afternoon. But the main reason for his dismissal was that Arthur needed to consider everything without the crushing guilt that constricted his heart every time he saw his servant's face suffocating him.

Arthur had made the decision to kill Merlin and then been shown the results of a recent situation if the servant wasn't alive. Did that mean that without Merlin, Camelot would have fallen and Arthur been killed?

'A lesson must be learned for Albion to thrive.'

'There are many things you are yet to understand. Your reign as king is still young. You are doing well but you have far to go if you wish to achieve what destiny has planned out for you.'

'Every choice you make affects your people. The support and advice of those you love and trust is vital.'

That's what Arthur had been told. Was the lesson that he underappreciated his servant? But Arthur did appreciate him. He knew Merlin had saved his life before and he always thanked him for his advice. Past that he was merely doing his job. Right? Maybe he didn't always listen to Merlin's counsel and sometimes he was a bit harsher than he should have been but he was never cruel.

Something about the whole situation didn't make sense. If the sorcerer who had attacked them meant to harm Camelot, there would have been no reason for him to go through the theatrics of putting the others to sleep and making Arthur choose between them. Possibly if it had been some form of emotional torture before death, just to make him suffer. But Arthur had survived. And Merlin had survived.

Which meant that the only things that explained what happened was that the cloaked man genuinely wanted to help. He was no enemy. But how was appreciating Merlin meant to help Camelot?

"My lord."

Arthur turned his head towards his wife's soft voice. "You should be resting," he told her.

"I have been. Gaius declared me fully healthy and I slept soundly for a while," Gwen joined him, looking out, and Arthur realised the sun was setting.

"I'm glad you're alright."

"What are you doing, Arthur? No one's seen you for hours."

"I needed some time to think."

"What really happened in the forest, Arthur?"

"I already-"

"Don't lie to me. Your story doesn't add up, you're avoiding everyone, you can't even look at Merlin."

"Can you blame me?" Arthur tried to joke, "Have you seen how ugly he is?"

The joke fell flat.

"Arthur. I'm not stupid. You can tell me."

"I can't," he sighed, "I did something awful, Gwen. I can't- Merlin-"

"He's alive, Arthur, he's ok."

Arthur shook his head, "Not thanks to me," he said sadly.

Gwen studied him worriedly, "Whatever happened," she said, "It wasn't your fault. Merlin would forgive you."

"I know he would. But he shouldn't."

"I don't understand."

"I love you, Guinevere. You are my everything."

"I know. Arthur, I love you too."

"It's going to be ok," he took her in his arms and hugged her tightly, "I know now."