AN: got this thought worm that wouldn't leave me alone so had to write it, hope you love it as much as i do
"Arizona, we need you now" Karev said urgently sprinting up to her, Arizona didn't hesitate to follow, dropping the notes she had been signing on the desk. Over the years they'd been working together they'd learnt to read each other's body language and Arizona could tell Karev was worried.
"What have we got Karev?" she asked falling into step with him,
"It's Torres, she's hurt, it's bad" Alex shouted behind him not breaking his jog.
Arizona quickened her pace, trying to keep up with him, her heart racing, nausea building in her throat. Calliope was hurt. Despite everything they'd been through recently, all the problems, Arizona had never stopped loving Callie, and hated the thought of her being hurt. She winced as she lost sight of Alex, her stupid leg slowing her down. Even with all the physio and rehab she still couldn't run like she used to. She hated how it clunked how at times like this, over time deep hatred and self-loathing, had dulled to acceptance but times like this that hatred came back.
Arriving in the ER Callie was lying on a hospital trolley oxygen on her face. Her colour was grey she was covered in sweat, blood was dripping from the gurney onto the floor and a large puddle was forming underneath. Her eyes were open and she looked distressed.
"Calliope," Arizona cried, distressed, barging past the intern to get next to the gurney gently cupping her face.
"Don't let them take my arm please" Callie begged. For the first time Arizona noticed her right hand, mangled and bleeding, automatically she winced.
"It's not my decision" Arizona said, for a moment relieved, there was no way that hand would survive, she could see several of the bones sticking out, tendons and nerves, it was hard to even make out her fingers.
"You're actually still her medical power of attorney" Owen pointed out, "you are separated not divorced,"
Arizona felt the nausea build, as she stared between Callie's face and the mangled remains of her right hand.
"Promise me Arizona if I can't operate I'd rather be dead, I'll never be able to hold Sofia, promise me" Callie begged, tears streaming down her face. Alarms were blaring in the background, Arizona hestitated, briefly aware of the irony, but horrified, she couldn't promise Callie this, her arm was gone already, only a small sliver of bone held it on.
"We need her calm this stress isn't helping" Meredith said urgently, as the alarms got louder, more urgent,
"Promise me" Callie begged extremely distressed, now trying to fight Meredith who was trying to dress her hand.
"She is tachycardic" Bailey screamed, "I need sedation" she ordered,
"Promise me" Callie begged, now trying to stop the nurse with her needle, her good arm gripping Arizona like her life depended on it, brown eyes pleading with blue,
"I promise" Arizona heard herself say, instantly Callie relaxed her grip her eyes rolling back.
"We need to take her to the OR" Owen ordered suddenly everyone was running down endless corridors and they were in the OR. Arizona trailed behind, her legs feeling numb, it was like she was moving but not as the corridor blurred behind tears.
Before she knew it, Arizona looked down she had gloves on and a gown. Meredith was handing her a scalpel
"You need to remove her hand or she'll die!" Meredith said urgently, Arizona noticed it was just her and Meredith in the OR, Bailey, Hunt, and Alex had vanished. There was just faceless scrub nurses,
"I can't" Arizona cried she tried to hand the scalpel back to Meredith but it was stuck to her gloves.
"I have to operate on her stomach, I can't do both, everyone else is busy. It has to be you" Meredith urged, "It has to be you do you want Torres to die or do you want her to live?"
Arizona paused noticing for the first time Callie's stomach was open, it was going to be an intense operation to try repair the damage, Meredith was needed there.
"Live" Arizona replied weakly feeling the bile build up in her throat, "I want Calliope to live" she whispered,
"Then cut!" Meredith screamed,
"I can't" Arizona cried, she felt the tears run down her face. "You have to" as she stood in the bubble watching Meredith operate.
"Dr Robbins, you have to operate" the scrub nurse said, bringing Arizona out of her thoughts, she noticed that Meredith disappeared,
"You need to page someone, someone else has to do the surgery" she begged.
"There is nobody else, they are all busy" the scrub nurse replied,
"She is my wife" Arizona begged. "I can't hurt her"
"Then she will die" the nurse replied calmly, "it's not like your even properly married," she mocked,
"No, we are married," Arizona said, "She is my wife"
"you cheated on her, she divorced you and now you are going to let her die"
"No" Arizona began gently cutting through the tissue, then sawing the bone, she kept her eyes solely on the arm, not daring to look up and see Callie's face, knowing if she did she'd struggle to continue. In her mind she repeated,
This is just another patient, as a motto. She heard nothing, as she operated all sound fuzzing out to background noise, she didn't speak, knowing if she did she was likely to vomit.
Arizona finished her last stitch finally zooming out to see her beautiful wife stump of an arm being bandaged. She threw off her mask and ripped off her gown vomiting into the scrub sink.
Pushing past the concerned scrub nurse Arizona focused on nothing as she ran out of the OR making her way to the roof to have a cigarette.
"Please God let Callie wake up, let her be okay I can take it she can be as mad at me as she wants but please let her be okay." Arizona begged to a God she didn't believe in.
Shaking she put out her cigarette, had that just happened, was this even real? She remembered her scalpel easily slicing through Callie's flesh that arm she loved the hand she adored lying bloodless on the table, and vomited again. Was this how Callie had felt when she chopped off her leg? Had her colleges been as unsupportive to Callie as they had forcing her to operate. How could Callie ever forgive her, when Arizona knew she would never forgive herself. Still, this wasn't about her, it was about Callie, and Sofia. Their 3 year old daughter needed 2 mom's, she needed Callie, Arizona knew she'd have to help Callie, bear the brunt of her anger if it meant Callie could heal. If it brought Callie back to them.
"Please God, let me be strong enough" she begged.
Please let me know what you think, I'm thinking this might be a shorter fic, 3 chapters at first draft,