Chapter 4 - Keep You Lost In the Smoke and Debris
Author's Note: The angst is rising. :D
~ Amina Gila
The holomap shimmers brightly in the center of the briefing room, displaying the most recent rebel movements they've been able to record. Leia presses her hands against the cool surface of the holotable displaying the map, leaning closer to study what she can make of the movements. The other clone commanders' voices filter in from far away, as she tries to focus.
Sometimes when she's looking at things like this, she gets these feelings about things, and that's what she's trying to do now, because they don't have nearly enough data to pinpoint any particular... stronghold or anything.
"Still looking for all the mysteries of life in the same spot of that hologram?" Ventress asks, breezing up behind her.
Leia shoots her an odd look. She still doesn't know why the bounty hunter was invited, but apparently, she's been doing some work for the Empire. Though she'll admit she's a little curious about her, when she's someone who fought in the Clone Wars, on the other side. "I was concentrating."
"Need some help?" she drawls, lazily crossing her arms. How she always looks so flippant, Leia has no idea.
"Do you have something to offer?" Leia asks.
"You seem pretty good at this already," she replies, "I can see why Skywalker – or right, Vader – picked you for a pet."
"What's with always saying pet?" At least she hasn't caught on that there's more to Vader and Leia than just that.
"Pet, apprentice, what's the difference?"
"Perhaps because there's a vast difference between owning a tooka and teaching someone?"
"Ever taught a tooka tricks?" Ventress smirks, "And you should've seen Skywalker's last one. She acted just like a feral tooka every time I met her."
"So I've heard," Leia says. She wishes she could get to meet Ahsoka, with how much her father talks about her.
Something's shifting in the Force suddenly. Leia can feel it from her bond with Vader, pulsing as bright as ever even when they're on opposite sides of the galaxy. It's a constant, warm, glowing safeness in her mind, that she can reach to whenever she wants, but right now, she feels something wrong, on his end. It's not danger. It's... something else.
He's upset, hurting – it's wild and deep enough that she can easily pick up on it despite their shielding, and that doesn't speak well for whatever's happening.
"Leia?" Ventress asks, frowning, hovering at her side.
"Something's wrong," she mutters.
"Where?" Ventress asks, tensing a little, "Nothing's off here."
"With – with... Vader," Leia forces herself to say, as awkward as it is not to say Father.
"Don't worry, kid," she assures, touching Leia's shoulder almost uncertainly, though why she's trying to make her feel better, Leia's not sure. "Skywalker's got more midi-chlorians than he knows what to do with. He'll be fine."
Seriously?! Leia gives her an incredulous look. She might laugh at the absurdity of the statement if not for the circumstances. Because something is very wrong, and she'll have to wait until her father's back to ask him about it.
"You're... very attached to him," Ventress notes, eyeing her.
Leia shrugs, unsure what to say. They're approaching a dangerous topic, after all.
"Got any family anywhere? You're a bit young for an Inquisitor."
"Why does it matter?" Leia asks, keeping her expression smooth.
"Just curious," she replies, shrugging, "You're too young to have been a Jedi. Unless the Sith specially kidnapped you from your crib at the Temple."
She gives her an odd look.
"What?" Ventress defends, "Ever wondered what they did with all the babies there? I'd have thought there'd be a lot more baby Inquisitors running around then there are."
Leia never has wondered actually and doesn't know that she really wants to. "My mother died when I was born," Leia replies, carefully weighing how much she says, "Most of who I'd consider my family are adopted." Isn't much, but Leia can't offer her very much, anyway. She doesn't need to know more.
"Hmm," she offers very descriptively.
"Do... you have a family anywhere?" Leia can't help asking. Though, why would anyone choose to be a lonely bounty hunter if they did?
Ventress eyes her. "No."
She doesn't miss the flare of grief from Ventress, even if it's something long buried, like she's grown so accustomed to it. It sounds incredibly lonely. Maybe that's why she hasn't left yet.
"You can stay around if you want," Leia offers, even if Ventress already seems to have made up her mind, and so far has proved herself loyal.
"That was the plan," Ventress replies flippantly, though Leia thinks she did catch the real reason for the offer, "Who else is gonna keep an eye on you when your master's not around?"
"Me?" Leia repeats, "I have way too many babysitters already." At least, if everyone in Clone Force 99 counts.
"Then it sounds like Skywalker might appreciate my additional efforts for once," she drawls, and Leia huffs.
"Fine. Let yourself believe that." Because really, it's Leia who's keeping an eye on her.
"Oh, I will. Want to go over that holomap again for your next babysitting session?"
Leia's this close to rolling her eyes at her. Or maybe sticking her tongue out, but that would prove Ventress' point. "Sure."
**w**
"Why did you leave? Where were you when I needed you?"
"I made a choice. I couldn't stay."
"You were selfish. You abandoned me. You failed. Do you know what I have become?"
It's a figment of her own imagination, Ahsoka knows, because Anakin would never talk to her like that, even if he'd have every right to. She left him, and she couldn't stay in the Order after what happened, but that doesn't make the fact that she left him hurt any less.
It wasn't something she could help – things had gone too far, and she knows Anakin would never hold that against her, but that doesn't mean her guilt will go away.
She left him, and this is what happened in her absence. Anakin needed someone, and she could have helped him. She didn't though.
She should have, and he's gone now, Fallen because of it.
Maybe it's not because of her, exactly, but it certainly feels like it. He's with the Sith, fighting against her, and Ahsoka can't imagine a reality where that happens, but... it's the truth. It's happening, right now, and she'll have to fight him eventually.
She came to the Lothal Temple with Kanan and Ezra, mostly for guidance and some way to find a shred of calm in times like these, but she certainly hasn't found any of that yet. Anakin is a Sith, and she has no idea what to do.
Probably, she should go back to find the others, or –
The floor beneath her suddenly trembles slightly, the overwhelming feel of the Dark Side suddenly flooding the Force around her. And it's so, so familiar.
Anakin is here. Right now, maybe even right outside the Lothal Temple. How did the Empire track them here?! She should've known this was coming, though.
She did, but she didn't expect it to be so soon. None of them are ready for this confrontation and that doesn't matter because she can feel Anakin moving closer. He must be in the Temple now, looking for her.
That. This is what she was afraid of. Anakin is... Anakin, and Ahsoka might know him well, but he's far too skilled for her or really, anyone, to do anything about. That won't stop her from trying, because that's what she'll have to do, no matter if she doesn't want to.
He's a Sith now. He's changed, and he's not who he used to be. He's fighting her, the Rebellion, fighting against the Light, and that is everything Anakin Skywalker would never have done. He would never condone the destruction of the Jedi and everything else the Empire has done along the way.
And she has to stop him, whatever that will... entail.
Ahsoka sprints back out into the main room near the entrance, as Kanan and Ezra run out two other entrances in the rocky walls that certainly weren't there before. The doorways vanish the moment they're through.
"The Sith are here," she tells them breathlessly, "You need to go."
"What about you?" Ezra protests.
"I'll slow them down." They aren't skilled enough to be anything but collateral damage in the fight she's certain is about to happen.
Footsteps echo on the rock floor somewhere nearby. It sounds almost metal, and Ahsoka doesn't have a moment longer to wonder why before Maul appears in another doorway to the room.
He's here too? This is not good.
"Go!" she yells at them, and they sprint opposite directions, for doorways on the other side of the room. She's expecting Maul to chase her, but he goes after the other two instead, which... is bad, but maybe it's also good because she can't deal with him if she's going to face Anakin.
**w**
The Temple is dark inside, though Vader can see enough to get around. It's entirely closed off from outside, but it's still lit by something unseen, not exactly uncommon for Jedi Temples, especially old ones.
There's a beauty to them, something which has long been lost over time, as the Jedi fell from their way.
The path through the Temple isn't defined here; even from the intensity of the Force, he could sense ahead of time that something about the place was different than any usual building, so he's unsurprised when a doorway he goes through slides closed with a mind of its own, sealing him inside.
Not that Vader needs to turn back right now. He has to keep moving, to find Ahsoka. She's somewhere close by, and he doesn't understand what it is that directs where the Temple allows him to go, but it's not stopping him from finding her. Unless it's that she's trying to find him.
He and Maul went different ways after entering, so he doesn't know where the Zabrak is now, but that's not his focus. He can sense the soft rose petal Force presence Ahsoka always was, even if he can also distinctly sense the thorns to it right now. She's... upset.
That... was expected.
He is, too, if he's being honest, but the fact still remains that Ahsoka was his padawan and nothing else really matters. Not what she's done, even if she has fallen to the same point as the rest of the Jedi. She may not be his daughter in quite the same way Leia is, but it's similar. And Vader wants to have that back.
It feels wrong, after everything that's changed, but it won't stop him from trying. They fought together throughout the war, did everything together, and he genuinely thought they would do everything together until Ahsoka left.
He senses as much as hears the movement up ahead, and he rounds the corner to come face to face with her for the first time in... sixteen years.
She's an adult now, her full height about the same as his. And he has no idea why, despite the circumstances, his first thought is that she isn't little enough for him to hold anymore, the way he'll always be able to hold Leia because she's always going to be small.
"Our long-awaited meeting has come at last," Vader says, looking her up and down.
"I'm glad I gave you something to look forward to," she snips back, glaring. There's a familiar fire in her blue eyes, though never has he seen it this angry, and never directed at him.
"We need not be adversaries," he offers, immediately, "The Emperor will show you mercy if you tell me where the remaining Jedi can be found."
"There's not many Jedi left anymore," she throws back, eyes still burning with anger, "You and your Inquisitors have seen to that."
"The Jedi are destroying the galaxy," Vader points out. "You have seen that."
"I've seen the ceaseless destruction the Empire has caused," Ahsoka retorts, "I will not stand for it."
"The rebellion and the Jedi have torn apart the galaxy when the Empire could otherwise have brought peace," he counters. That's what they were trying to do – still are – but the war will never end until the Jedi are gone. And that is entirely their choice; instead of choosing to help people the way they claimed, they're doing the opposite.
"Peace?" Ahsoka echoes incredulously. "When has the Empire ever tried to bring peace?"
"From the moment it formed," Vader replies firmly, and he knows Ahsoka will fight him on this, but it's the truth. It... will hurt, but he knew this would hurt from the start. That's why he was so afraid. "Ahsoka. Join me, and we can bring an end to this conflict." Probably, he sounds about as desperate as he feels.
Ahsoka hesitates, but the fire in her eyes hasn't shifted. She's angry and hurt, and for as long as those are present, she won't be able to make a rational choice. "I'm not going to join the Sith, Anakin," she says finally, still as fiercely as ever.
"You must have seen planets almost entirely destroyed because of the Jedi's ceaseless quest to regain their power," he responds.
"I've seen the destruction you and the Inquisitors cause, hunting the Jedi to extinction senselessly," she argues. The words would sting more, if he still had all the doubts he did in the beginning. But he knows this is the only way now, if the Jedi won't stop. They've already been given chances, and they always refuse.
"They have chosen their fate," he starts to explain, even if he doubts that she'll accept this anymore than she has anything he's said.
"I was beginning to believe I knew who you were behind that mask," Ahsoka retaliates sharply, "But it's impossible. My master would never stand for what you are doing."
"I have changed," he replies, for as much as it might hurt. Sometimes, he misses what it was like to be Light, misses when he felt something other than this darkness, even if he knows it's not inherently dark the way the Jedi always taught. (Mostly, he just misses what things were like the days when he was still Light.) "I cannot stand for what the Jedi have become."
"That doesn't justify this senseless destruction," Ahsoka replies steely, reaching for her lightsabers.
He knew this moment was coming, feared it from the moment he knew he would have to confront her, but that doesn't mean he's ready. It hurts more than he could ever say, that she's willing to attack him like this, even if he can understand why. Even if –
Ahsoka runs at him, white lightsaber slashing, and Vader swings his lightsaber up to parry. She cuts at him with a series of quick blows, with the same fierce rapidness that he remembers so vividly.
He trained her to fight like that, showed her how to use her speed, size, and agility as opposed to his strength. It hurts to have to raise his lightsaber against her, but it isn't as though Ahsoka is giving him a choice. His best chance is to capture her, to get her somewhere that she won't be a danger to anyone, where she won't be a danger for others, either.
And it's so, so wrong to feel this towards her.
Ahsoka backflips when Vader slashes at her, drawing in on the Dark Side, letting his pain and anger flood through and fuel him. He doesn't like delving into it, but sometimes, like right now, it's... easier. Faster.
She brings her lightsabers up, parrying, and steps back, giving ground.
Vader presses the attack forwards, but for all that she's giving him ground, she's still not giving him an opportunity to knock her lightsabers from her hands. It's really the only choice he has of winning.
She Force-shoves Vader back, though he counters most of it, catching his balance easily and starting forwards again. She jumps at him again, blades crossing with his mid-air. They spark against each other as she flips entirely over his head, landing behind him. Vader twists around to block her instantly before she can come anywhere close to hitting him. She swings her blades up to block him, crossing them to hold him off.
Finally, Vader shoves her back. A second longer, and he could risk accidentally hurting her, and he won't. He presses forward with his own attack immediately, though, before she can find the chance to recollect herself. Ahsoka hastily backs away, blocking his occasional blow, but still he doesn't have the chance to come anywhere close to disarming her.
Ahsoka dodges another his next swing, ducking around him and aiming for his head, but he blocks it easily, forcing her back. That doesn't mean every second of this doesn't hurt, being forced to fight the child he once raised like this. It reminds him jarringly of Mortis, but there, he knew it wasn't her. Here, it... is.
It is, and Vader has absolutely no idea how to deal with this.
Anakin has sparred with her before, and this is so much a reminder of the past.
She moves back, parrying with one lightsaber, then the other on alternate, sometimes with both. She braces herself against the floor, shoving back against him when he presses down on her white blades.
She's holding her ground against him so well, and Vader is still of the sense of mind to be proud of her, of everything she's capable of, even if it hurts.
Ahsoka Force-shoves him back, jumping at him again. White clashes on red when she lands in front of him, throwing her weight against him, but Vader shoves her back and stands again. She can't get through his defenses, either, even if she's temporarily trying to drive the fight.
She's so... good.
Vader pushes her back towards the wall, and Ahsoka jumps over his head, making a break for the door.
She's been here. Probably, she's trying to lead him somewhere that she knows, trying to trap him.
Vader gives chase, anyway.
Ahsoka is fast as she always has been, and it's easy to lose track of her, so he tries to track her by her presence instead.
Likely, she's either trying to lead him away from the others – unless she's trying to lose him in the twists and turns of the Temple because she feels the other Jedi are in danger. With Maul against them, they probably are. Hopefully, he's gotten to them.
Another door slams shut between them, and Vader skids to a stop, panting a little. Now the Temple's fighting against him? That isn't too much of a surprise, though – he is a Sith, and the Temple will no doubt register him as the enemy. It's fine. He... if Ahsoka's still out there, he'll find her again. Somehow.
**w**
She wanted to stay and finish the fight through to the end, to make sure it... something. It feels wrong to register Anakin as a threat, but he is, and Ahsoka wanted to make sure she wouldn't have to worry about him hurting anyone else again.
She felt the danger in the Force, though – that Kanan and Ezra were in danger – and she couldn't ignore that either. Dealing with... Anakin here would be ideal, but she can't do it. She's not even going to try lying to herself about that. Even if she could bring herself to, she'd never be able to win their fight – Anakin has always been a far greater fighter than her.
Ahsoka is furious at him, yes, but she can't – can't imagine hurting him, either.
Maybe he's changed, maybe he's Fallen and turned on everything they used to be, but Ahsoka still... loves him. Maybe she hates what he is and what he's become, but he's still Anakin, and he is still her brother.
She's almost unfairly hurt by the fact that he was willing to fight her, but she knew it was coming. (She attacked him, first.) Ahsoka saw him, and her mind just... she was so angry. So hurt, and she did everything that Anakin always taught her not to do.
The Temple's halls are long and winding, but she finds the others quickly enough, all things considered. They're still fighting Maul and being rapidly outmatched.
Ahsoka jumps between them, blades crossing to meet the other Sith's.
"So, we meet again, Lady Tano," he says, as they trade blows in a furious blur.
"Can't say it's a pleasure," Ahsoka snaps – honestly, she's more irritated by the situation than anything else.
Their blades clash into a saberlock, and Kanan takes a step forwards. "Get to the ship!" she yells before they can try to intervene.
Maul shoves her back, spinning for Kanan before she can stop him. "Ezra will be mine," he hisses, "And there is nothing you can do to stop me."
"Uh, no, I'm not," Ezra calls back.
Ahsoka jumps for Maul's head, and the other two run for the doorway up ahead. Their blades spark against each other's for a few more moments before she throws Maul back and runs after.
She can hear him giving chase, but the rock structures are shifting again, blocking his path. Even so, she doesn't dare breathe a sigh of relief until they finally make it back to the ship.
"You okay?" Kanan asks, looking between them both.
"Yes, I am," Ahsoka assures, and Ezra nods.
"How are we gonna stop the Sith now? They're so... strong."
"We can't do it alone," Ahsoka replies, sinking into the seat behind them as they fly for the atmosphere before anyone can give chase. "We'll have to do it together, with... others." She doesn't know what that'll mean, except that she's going to face Anakin again eventually, and she doesn't know that she'll be anymore ready then than she is now.
She's not looking forwards to it. (It would help if it didn't hurt so much, if she didn't still desperately wish that Anakin would go back to – to how he used to be.)
**w**
By the time Vader finally makes it out of the Temple – it's definitely slowing him down intentionally – the ship he'd spotted waiting outside before is already taking off. He can feel Ahsoka on board. If the ship weren't so far out, he'd try to catch it with the Force and pull it back down, but it's already too far away.
She's... gone.
Somehow, it feels like a mirror image of that day he stood on the Temple steps, watching the sun setting as Ahsoka disappeared into it, and out of his life. Forever.
He doesn't want it to be forever, but this is her choice, and it's... what she's choosing. He wants to find her again anyway, to talk to her, but he doesn't know when that will happen. Doesn't know if it will have any different result than it did now.
He hears the rocks groaning behind him, and finally turns to see Maul sprinting out, panting, before the Temple doors slide closed again.
"They got away?" the Zabrak demands, scowling.
"Yes."
"The boy would be an ideal apprentice," he says, grumpily, "But I must destroy his master first."
Vader side-eyes him. "The Sith do not truly have apprentices anymore."
"You have your daughter," he shoots back.
"She is my child, not my apprentice."
Maul scoffs, not that Vader expected him to concede the point.
"We must find them regardless," Vader adds, moving for their own waiting ships, "But I find it unlikely the boy will want to join you if you harm his master." Which is... understandable, regardless of what Vader thinks of the Jedi now. Though, something about these two was different than many of those he's sensed. They don't feel blinded by the same sense of vengeance. Not yet, at least. There may be a chance they could be swayed to the Empire's side. Maybe. He doesn't really trust any of the former Jedi, though.
"I will find a way," Maul insists, "And what of Tano?"
"She... was unreceptive, but I will find her again." He has to, even if he's not looking forward to the confrontation. She had questions, though, so maybe... Maybe there's still a chance.
There has to be, because he could never bring himself to hurt her.
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