An omake-chapter created by Proximatic / Dan. A crossover between Hyperdimension Neptunia and Nanatsu no Taizai (The Seven Deadly Sins).
Before we begin, I'd like to make a few disclaimers.
1. Due to personal reasons, as well as me shifting my interest entirely to Neptunia because of Sisters VS Sisters, my motivation to write new (main story) chapters is currently very low. Do not take this as me saying that the story is ending, though. Simply be aware that some chapters might take MUCH longer to publish than others, especially when considering how long it took me to publish this. Please understand that this is not me choosing not to write these out of spite, pressure, or frustration. I'm simply more interested in other things at the moment.
2. If it being an omake chapter does not make it obvious, this is very loosely connected to the main story, if at all (likely not). This is simply me wanting to write something that's less focused on the main story, and moreso something that I want to write for the purpose of re-sparking my interest in this, as well as a way to spread some of my comedic and slightly headcanon-ish creativity.
Now with that out of the way, let's move on to the chapter.
Kingdom of Liones — Inside the Boar Hat
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currently playing ;;
Megadimension Neptunia VII OST — Let's Bake the Cookie!
0:01 •— 3:17
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ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ: —•
The celestial lamp hangs high in the sky above the Boar Hat tavern, with rays of sunlight beaming through the windows on the left side of the tavern. The entire lower floor was lit up radiantly like a chandelier hanging over the room. On the lower floor, Neptune was standing in front of the counter, whilst Meliodas, Gowther, Merlin, Diane, King, and Ban were standing behind it, all wearing aprons and chef hats.
"Oi, oi, Nep, how come you had us all wake up earlier than normal and come downstairs to put these on? It's a little uncomfortable, y'know," said the Dragon Sin of Wrath as he had his hands crossed over his chest.
"Hmhmm! I'm glad you asked my blonde friend! Today, I'm gonna have you all compete!"
"Compete? Well, then, I'll gladly throw down with ya—!"
"No, not that kind of compete, dummy! Why do you think I'm making you wear aprons?"
"Hoh. I see. . .so if it's not fighting, then. . ."
"Iiit's bakiiing!"
As she takes out a party popper from her Parka Dress pocket, Neptune pulls the string and begins clapping, as an unseen audience gives them a round of applause as well. The Seven Deadly Sins simply look around in confusion.
"Where's all this applause comin' from," the Fox Sin of Greed asks, raising an eyebrow in bewilderment.
"Don't worry about it, Banny-boo! So, I invited you all—"
"Forced us all," Meliodas bluntly said.
"—invited you all down here to compete in a baking competition! So that means today. . .you're going to be bakiiing. . .an apple pie!"
Another party popper comes out of Neptune's pocket, and once more, the unseen audience gives them a round of applause.
"Alright, alright, can it already, you loudmouths!" Ban shouted out, and the audience quickly fell silent.
". . .ahem; anyways! You're gonna be baking an apple pie! Should be pretty easy right?"
"But what if I don't know how to make one?" the Serpent Sin of Envy asks, raising her hand politely.
"Good question, Diane! If you don't know how to make an apple pie, I can give you a recipe! So, if you already know how to make one. . .raise your hand!"
In that moment, Ban, Meliodas, Gowther, and Merlin raise their hands up. As the Fox Sin turned to his left and sees Meliodas raising his hand with an enthusiastic, yet seemingly dopey smile on his face, he couldn't help but snicker.
"Danchō, are you serious? Do you honestly think you can bake a pie?" he teased, nudging the Dragon Sin a bit.
"Of course! What do you take me for? A fool?"
"Danchō, you are a bit clueless in regards to your culinary skills," Gowther said with a deadpan tone.
"Oh, can it. . ."
"Well, I suppose in that case. . .Diane and King, you two will have recipes!"
"Now then, Neptune, if you don't mind me asking. . .what exactly are we going to be competing for," the Boar Sin of Gluttony asks, gently hovering above the ground with her arms folded across her chest. Neptune had told them they were going to compete, but the thing that they would be competing for hasn't been stated yet.
However, just as Merlin asked that question, Neptune pulled out her N-Gear and the screen lit up, causing binary code to spew from the screen and coalesce into the shape of a sword. Once complete. . .
"Tadaaa! Introducing the prize! Mechanical Blade: Zenith!"
A sword so beautiful; so wonderfully and masterfully crafted, that it captivates the soul of those who bear witness to it. Even those who don't use a sword cannot help but look on in awe at the craftsmanship.
"Wow. . .this is such a perfect sword! Its edge is so sharp and refined. . .the handle looks comfortable to squeeze, and the blade appears light for combat use!" King said, getting closer to the sword, wanting to reach out and touch the blade, though Neptune quickly jerks the weapon away before he could do so much as leave a fingerprint on it.
"Ah ah ah! None of you get to touch it until one of you wins the competition! So, whoever bakes the pie that I end up enjoying the most. . .will receive the sword. Got it?"
"Hoi hoi hoooi! Looks like we've all got something worth competing for! How much do you think it would sell on the market?"
"Danchō, you're not seriously gonna sell this thing, are you?!" Diane exclaimed, with a shocked expression falling on her visage. An apt reaction, given how lovely the blade is.
"Sate sate sate, I'm just feelin' a little curious! I'm sure if that thing were a Sacred Treasure, I'd be gunning for it without a doubt."
"Well, regardless of what you wanna do with it after you get it, y'still gotta bake the best pie in order to win!"
"This'll be a cinch," the Fox Sin said, cracking his knuckles. Turns out, Ban is actually an amazing cook, and is responsible for a majority of the (actual good) cooking for the Boar Hat. Considering this, his chances of winning are very high, but that doesn't mean he's guaranteed to win!
"Is everybody ready," the Guardian Goddess asks, clasping her hands together.
"Yep!"
"You got it, kid."
"I'm all set to go!"
After hearing everyone's confirmations, she raises her arm up and swings it down, as if performing a karate chop, though this is just a gesture to signify the commencement of the competition.
"Start!"
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Hyperdimension Neptunia: The Animation OST — Fresh Again
0:01 •— 3:25
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Once Neptune gave the green light to begin their competition, everyone scrambled around the tavern floor, grabbing all the ingredients they needed to make the pie. Neptune, in the meantime, sat against the wall, N-Gear in her hands as she played some games, her tongue stuck out to the side as a sign of her focusing. The sounds of wooden tools smacking against each other and ringing through the air brought joy to the kitchen.
"Damnit, Ban, move out of the way!"
"It's not my fault I know how to cook here!"
"Well, maybe you should quit while you're ahead!"
"Like hell, I will!"
Neptune mischievously giggles with her button-mashing antics continuing as a way to distract herself so she doesn't end up getting bored waiting for the six of them to get done with their craftsmanship. She can hear the sounds of apples being peeled from their skins, the water splashing in the wooden bowls to form the dough, the ceramic clanking of salt pots as they move around on the counter and tables in a chaotic fashion.
"What are you even doing, Danchō?! That ain't a pinch of salt, you idiot!"
"I'm just doing what I know! Yare yare, is this really such a perfectionist thing?"
"At least do it correctly!"
Neptune lets out a few more giggles, bordering on some laughter as she tries to remain focused on her games. But something about the livelihood of the tavern in such a disorderly way felt so akin to how things are back in Planeptune. People just enjoying their days, even in the most unorthodox and strange ways, but in a manner such that anyone looking at it could get a nice chuckle out of it. She feels almost right at home. Though. . .there is a certain someone that she misses a bit.
"Danchō, it's not a pizza! You're stretching it out too much!"
"The bigger, the better, as they say! This is gonna be my best pie yet!"
"The likelihood of this specific pie being better than the other pies you have created is approximately 1.5%."
"Sate sate sate. . .what am I gonna do with you after this, Gowther?"
"Jeez Testries*, what's all that hackin' and slashin' about over there?"
*Testries are an enemy found in Re;Birth 1.
"Oh, Nep. We're just having a friendly discussion over here."
"It sounds like something straight out of a Neppit thread post or something like that! Oh man, are we about to get super toxic up in this tavern? I better escape before it's too late!"
Everyone just looks at her in a confused manner. They have no clue what she's talking about, and it shows. Like, it really shows.
". . .I-I don't see why you have to escape, Lady Neptune. . ." Elizabeth said in a more nervous and bewildered tone.
"Well, if I don't escape, then I'll end up reliving the days of the old Neppit subs! I remember when they slandered me sayin' I was lazy and that I'm nothing but a pudding-eating loser!"
"Isn't that what you already are," King bluntly asked.
"Nepu-pu-pu-pu-pu?!"
"King, isn't that a little mean?" Diane asked, putting her hands over her chest, a tad concerned for her friend after having been pretty blatantly insulted.
"Come on, King, lay off Nep a little. She's not from here, y'know. We can't really expect to understand her entire lifestyle just like that. If she's not doing stuff here, then what's to say she doesn't do stuff over in her world too?"
"Mmh. . .you're right. I'm sorry, Neptune."
"Hmph. . .whatever, just. . .go back to doin' your stuff now," the Goddess says in a frustrated tone, pouting and turning away from them with an upset expression. Everyone besides Diane and Meliodas resume their baking; the aforementioned pair walk over to the pinkette and stand behind her.
"Hey, Nep, you good? Don't mind King when he says stuff like that, sometimes he's just a bit too forward with what he says," Meliodas asks, putting his hands on his hips and trying to make eye contact with Neptune.
"Danchō, I can hear you, y'know."
"Well, he isn't exactly wrong. Heh."
"I'm fine, I just. . .I really hate it when people're always trying to call me lazy, even if they don't say the word itself! It's like they're tryin' to make me out as some sort of. . .unreliable goofball who can't do anything right! I might, sure, I might not get that 'perfect' bonus when I clear those spherical blues, but I still try my hardest!"
Deciphering the game analogy she made, she's essentially saying that, while she may not be the best Goddess ever, she's still doing what she can to make people happy.
"Mmh. . .well, it's like Danchō said, Neptune, we don't really know a whole lot about you! I mean, we don't know where you came from, or what kind of family you have. . .or even your race! Maybe King was just judging you based on the kinda stuff we've seen from you?"
"Hmph. . .well, he can't tell fiction from reality, I'll give him that."
King, overhearing their conversation as he continues to bake his pie, can't help but feel a little bad now. He basically tried to assume Neptune's overall demeanor from what he's seen for the past few days, and. . .well, he made the wrong call.
"Aaanyways, I'm probably gonna go take a little nappy nap upstairs, so when you all finish your pies, lemme know and I'll come down to give them a taste!"
Picking up her N-Gear from the floor where she had left it, the Goddess walks up the stairs to the second-floor bedroom and flops down on it. Unbeknownst to her, Diane had followed her, but remained hidden behind the doorway.
"Hmhmhmm~. . .when I get home, I'm gonna tell Nepgear about all the pies I got to taste from my friends," Neptune exclaims as she casually lounges on the mattress; one leg over her knee with her foot extended a bit, arms in front of her as she button-mashes her N-Gear once more in a video game. The casual gamer position, of course. She's nervously propping her leg up a bit periodically as she button-mashes, too. She's just like me.
"Cheeest-ooo!"
Leaning forward, she spots a certain brunette's right pigtail just barely out of her peripheral view and turns up, completely ignoring the fact that she's in the middle of a quick-time-event.
"Nepu? Diane, is that you?"
The crunchy, 8-bit sounds of Neptune's character dying in the game plays, and she immediately looks back down with a shocked expression on her face.
"GYAAA?! Wh-what in the what?! How did I die?! Aaaagh. . .!"
Ah, the frustrations and lamentations of a gamer failing in a video game because they were distracted by something else. . .it's something I'm sure all of us can relate to.
"Ehhh?! Neptune, you died?! But that would mean. . .you're a ghost!"
Since Diane still isn't familiar with the idea of video games yet, she doesn't know the context behind Neptune saying she "died", thus her reaction.
"No, no, you silly. . .silly! I'm playing a game right now, and I just died! I'm not a ghost! If I was, then. . .well, wouldn't I have like, some sort of tail coming out of my butt or something?"
"Wait, so you're not dead? Oh, thank goodness. . ." the Serpent Sin said, putting a hand over her chest with a sigh of relief.
"But how come you're awake? I thought you said you were gonna take a nap?"
"Weeell, sometimes a true gamer can't exactly sleep! It's like we always say, sleep is for the weak," she exclaims, picking her N-Gear up once more and restarting from her last checkpoint. She's determined to complete this level, whether it takes her hours to do it or not. It's just how she is!
"And what 'bout you, Diane? Did you do your pie that fast? Ooh, are you some sort of natural baker? Maybe we could have you go to a bakery and make some money for Meli so he stops whining about people not coming to the tavern—?"
"Ehehe. . .I'm not really the kind of person who likes that stuff. I'm a meat-type girl!"
"Ohhh, okay! Wait, how come you didn't say that, then? I would've just given ya a participation prize or something off the bat! Mweeeh, nobody ever tells me these things," the Goddess laments with another pout as she folds her arms over her chest, her N-Gear still in hand.
"Well, I didn't want you to feel bad, so I tried it! And. . .we-well. . .I might have accidentally burned some of Danchō's clothes."
"Nepu?! You burned Meli's clothes?! Ha-wawawawa, what are we gonna dooo?!"
Neptune's having a bit of an overdramatic panic with her hands to her head and sweatdrops rolling down her cheeks like bullets. But Diane's just even more baffled.
"What's the problem, Neptune? I don't know why this is such a big deal to you. . ."
"Because what if his clothes don't have the plot-convenient power of being able to regenerate or whatever?! Don't you realize the kind of danger we'd be in?!"
In that instant, Neptune jumps off of the bed and grasps Diane's shirt by the shoulders, looking up at her with the most comedically panicked face ever.
"If he can't regenerate his clothes, then that means. . .someone has to make them for him! And that's too far!"
"Making clothes for someone is. . .too far?"
"Of course!"
"But. . .why?"
"Because we protagonists shouldn't need to make our clothes! We just have them every time!"
Diane's face goes cartoonishly blank with white dots for her eyes.
"I-I see. . ."
"But. . .well, if you're not making it out to be as big of a deal as I think it is, then maybe he doesn't care? Ooh, maybe Elizabeth is his seamstress?"
An awkward silence filled the room soon after. . .nothing but the sound of a gentle breeze flowing through the windows for a few seconds.
". . .weeell, I'm gonna go back to being the epic gamer that I am, m'kay?"
"Okay, then! I'll just go back downstairs and watch everyone make their pies. Don't fall asleep, or else you won't be able to hear us call to you when we're done!"
"Come on, what do you take me for? A sleepyhead?"
Diane chuckles a little bit as she turns around and walks back down to the tavern's first floor. Meanwhile, Neptune does a (cool) backflip onto the bed once more, dropping her back on the mattress and popping up her N-Gear, which she quickly snatches out of the air. She really is an epic gamer. With her index fingers on the shoulder buttons, her left thumb on the control stick, and her right thumb on the four face buttons of the N-Gear, she's ready to resume her gaming quest. Until she realizes. . .she accidentally turned off the device—.
". . .you've gotta be FU—!"
One hour passes. . .
"Z z z. . ."
Looks like, in spite of her confidence that she wouldn't end up in a deep sleep, Neptune had passed out somewhere along the way. But the salivating scent of freshly-baked apple pie wafted through the air, perking up her nose as she took a few sniffs. . .
"Mmh. . ."
The deliciousness caused her to lift her body upright. . .it was warm and tantalizing, just like the scent of a pudding. . .
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Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth 1 OST — Lite Light
0:01 •— 2:27
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"Oooi, Nep! We're all finished now! Y'wanna come downstairs?" a certain blonde yelled up the stairwell, waiting for the pinkette to arrive. Seems like everyone has finished with their pies. With the Goddess pushing herself off the bed in an acrobatic manner, she slides down the handrailing for the stairwell and makes her way to the first floor of the tavern, where all of the pies were laid out on the counter. She clasped her hands together as a warm, excited feeling bubbles up in her chest.
"Heh. . .look at how excited she is to eat them. I can't wait to see how she reacts when she gets a bite out of yours, Danchō."
"Oh man, ohhh maaan. . .I don't know where to start! They all look soo taaastyyy! Ooh, how about this one?"
She points to the furthest-left apple pie sitting on a table by the door.
"Ah, that's mine, Neptune. I added a hint of sugar to try and make it sweeter. I know some of these apples can taste particularly bitter when eaten raw," the Boar Sin said, floating above the ground with her arms folded as usual.
The Planeptunian sat down at the table, and with a nearby knife, cut out a slice of the pastry and lifted it up, close to her mouth. The aroma was captivating, and thus she took a bite out of it, letting the flavor flourish in her mouth, satisfying her senses.
"Mmmh! So goooood! It tastes just like how Compa does it!"
With a confident smile on her face, Merlin stared at Ban, her greatest competition in this type of battle. The Goddess finished off the slice and put the knife down on the wooden appliance.
"Aaah. . .now that was tasty! I guess I'll go in order, then! So, whose pie is next?"
"That would be mine!" King said, gesturing Neptune towards his apple pie. The aroma was a little less strong, but still managed to motivate Neptune to take a bite out of it. After picking up a slice and gnawing off a chunk. . .
". . .hm! Not bad! A little more bitter, but it's pretty good!"
King breathed a sigh of relief. Even if his didn't get as much of a reaction as Merlin's did, he's happy to know that he did well.
"Eh? Wait a second, there's only two pies left? I know Diane didn't make one, but. . ."
"Oh, Gowther decided to get rid of his."
Adjusting his glasses, the Goat Sin posed dramatically. Perhaps a bit unfittingly, given how he does that too much. . .
"I disposed of the pie. It was around 5.3 centimeters away from symmetrical measurements. But that is simply not enough for visual perfection. Therefore, it is not usable for this competition."
Neptune just stared at Gowther with the blankest, most uncouth expression she's made.
". . .go you, then. Well, I guess that only leaves Banny and Meli! Whose is this," she asks as she points to the second right-most pie on the table.
"Aah, that one's mine, kiddo. Go ahead, give it a taste," the Fox Sin said in a confident manner, hands behind his head in a lax fashion as a tooth grin appears on his face. Seems like he's pretty sure of himself that Neptune will end up liking it a lot more.
"Don't mind if I do!"
Another knife right next to her, she cuts out a slightly larger ration than the other pastries she tasted. After taking a large bite out of this slice. . .she could feel the taste of the apple pie exploding in her mouth like the first time she tried a pudding.
"Oh my Histy. . .this is so good! Wowie. . .the combination of the bitter and sweet apples on top of the crunchy dough and flavoring. . .it's sooo goooood!"
That reaction got a chuckle out of Ban as he pumps a fist.
"Well, that settles it then! Looks like I'm the winner. Sorry, Merlin, better luck next time."
"Hm. I suppose your culinary skills are still unmatched amongst the rest of us, Ban."
"Ehh? But I haven't tried Meli's yet!" Neptune exclaimed with a hint of confusion in her voice.
Ban snickered for a bit, before following up with,
"Sure, go ahead. . .if you want your insides to be scrambled by the cooking."
Blink blink. . .Neptune shrugs and walks over to the fourth and final pie. She takes out a slice of it and bites into it. . .
Gulp.
. . .
"Nep. . .u."
She drops the slice and her arms start to quiver a little bit. There was this. . .dangerously and metaphorically poisonous feeling traveling down her throat and into her stomach. Something. . .terrible. Taking the N-Gear out of her pocket, Neptune shakingly materializes the Mechanical Blade: Zenith and hands it over to Ban.
"H-here you go, Ban. . .y-you win. . ."
"Nishishi! How does it taste, Nep?" Meliodas asks, almost innocuously so. The Goddess turned towards Meliodas with cross-popping veins on her forehead. As a flash of violet light envelops her body, Neptune instantly transformed into her Goddess Form, Purple Heart, still retaining that happily frustrated expression on her face.
"Mel. . .step outside for a bit, okay?" the Guardian Goddess asks with the most spiteful tone in her voice, picking up the disgusting pie and walking over to the door.
"You and I need to have. . .a chat."
"Huh? O-okay. . ."
Meliodas couldn't help but feel a chill in his spine, alongside the other Sins, and a sweatdrop runs down each of their foreheads as Meliodas walks out the door, with Purple Heart slamming it closed behind her. . .
"Welp. . .I guess Danchō's probably done for. Mind giving 'em one more round of applause, audience," Ban asked, as a closing remark to this moment.
And thus. . .the audience begins to numerously clap.
End of Omake Chapter!
Author's Note: Hey everyone. Sorry for the lack of updates in the span of what is essentially a month. I hope the disclaimers at the top have given you an idea as to why this took so long. I'm not done writing this story, of course, and I hope that this is a good sign for that. But unfortunately, I can't necessarily feel the motivation to write a new main chapter at the moment because of my current interests and personal life. Again, I'm very sorry, but that's just the way it is.
But with all of that said, I really hope you enjoyed this little omake of mine! It was super fun to write and honestly gave me a bit of motivation to continue activity here, both in terms of reading stuff, and writing stuff.
Have a nice rest of your day!