Written for the 2023 Wizarding Crossover Connection Bingo event
Author's Note: I was rewatching an episode of Derry Girls when I suddenly realized that James and the Girls would have been around the same age at the same time as the HP gang. Of course, my love for crossovers took over at that moment and I absolutely had to write something. I think this simple little friendship fic works well since Dean was raised by his muggle mother in London and Seamus was raised with a muggle father (along with his witch mother) - presumably somewhere in Ireland. Therefore, that place could easily be Derry, right? Consequently, it really is almost like a magical coincidence. :)
Hanging with the Lads: A Magical Coincidence
It was a rare occasion when James was alone without the girls.
Michelle, Erin, Orla, and Claire had decided to go to a new store that afternoon, however. For his part, James had decided to pass on that particular shopping trip entirely when it realized that the store in question was dedicated to women's underwear, of all things. Needless to say, he would have jumped at the chance if it had just been Erin going...or if there had been a possiblity that she would decide to model her purchases for him.
He knew that dream was unrealistic, though. In fact, it was much more likely that Orla would insist on showing him whatever crazy combination of underwear patterns she had chosen. Plus, just the thought of watching Michelle pick out thongs for herself...or actually been forced to help her do so...made him feel physically ill.
Therefore, he had no problem declining the invitation to accompany them.
"Whatever, Loser!" was his cousin's response to the decision as she left to meet the others at Erin's place. "Don't wank so much you pull your dick off while we're gone!" she added cheerfully, however...right before she slammed the door shut behind her as she left.
James just sighed. In reality, though, he had become almost immune to the foul language and constant insults since he had been forced to move from London to Derry in order to live with her. Being used to it all did not make it any more fun to listen to, however. He was just grateful that Erin was not present to hear it this time around.
After all, even though the words wanking and Erin really did go naturally hand in hand with him...so to speak...he did not want her to realize that!
At any rate, since Michelle was gone and his aunt was at work, James had the flat to himself. At first, he thought he would enjoy such a novelty, but he soon found that it was much too quiet. In fact, it had only been about half an hour without the girls' constant chatter...and the associated chaos that he would inevitably get roped into with them...but James was already bored to death.
What am I supposed to do now? he wondered as he steadfastly ignored the obvious route to take as a healthy teenage boy alone in his residence – especially after Michelle's parting words.
Knowing his cousin the way he did, what she had said might turn out to be some kind of crazy curse and actually come true. After all, she had a talent for getting him into all kinds of bizarre trouble through not fault of his own. Even though he knew it was a stupid idea, James decided not to keep his pants on and not risk it...just in case.
In fact, what James really wanted to do was simply to be able to hang out with some other lads for once. He did not think that was too much to ask considering he did go to a girls school and the only other guy in his building who was even remotely close to his age was the Finnigan boy. However, Seamus went to some boarding school in the Scottish Highlands or somewhere like that and rarely came home – even for the breaks. Therefore, James had only been able to speak with him briefly a couple of times in passing, while Michelle insulted them both from the background. Even though Seamus was fortunately able to ignore Michelle with the ease born from many years of practice from living in the same building with her...and did not seem to take an immediate dislike to James the way the other Derry lads had...the two of them still never seemed to have the time or chance to really get to know each other at all.
Unfortunately, any attempt by James to make friends with any other guys always failed miserably, as well. It was all quite depressing - especially since, by default, the only constant companions that James had were those same four girls every day. Consequently, he had to find something to do on his own while they were gone.
The arcade!
James finally made a decision and proceeded to dig out his loose change jar from the hiding place he had chosen so that its contents would not be pilfered by his sticky-fingered cousin.
One day, I'm going to be visiting that girl in prison, James had already decided. He pushed such probable thoughts away for the time being, though, in light of his increasing excitement now that he finally had a plan.
After all, he rarely ever got to actually play any games when he went to the arcade with the girls. That was mainly because they were always much more interested in checking out the boys who were there rather than trying to have some fun themselves. In fact, he and Claire were usually left hanging at such times since the other girls at the arcade were also looking for blokes...just not English ones, apparently. Plus, Claire had never been successful at finding another lesbian there, either.
"It's so hard to tell just by looking!" she always whinged.
Unfortunately, Claire did not like playing most video games, either, so James was usually left to console and entertain her at such times – especially since he liked to think he was doing his duty as a gentleman.
Plus, it's not as if I usually have any other options, he thought gloomily as he realized that, sometimes, the truth really did hurt.
Nevertheless, such musings were part of the reason why he was finally so eager to go to the arcade at the present...even if he had to go solo. Nevertheless, he still retained the faint hope that he could actually find some lads there who were willing to hang out with that "wee English fella" instead of immediately trying to kick his arse. Consequently, he took the stairs down to the lobby two at a time and rushed to the exit. He skidded to a halt, however, when he saw the tall and dark-skinned boy who stood at the door and looked as if he was waiting for someone.
"Dean? Dean Thomas?" James cried out in joyful surprise at the sight of his former friend and neighbor from London. "What the bloody hell are you doing in Derry of all places?"
The other young man looked up with a confused expression for just a moment at hearing another English voice. However, that look soon cleared in recognition of a familiar face as the young man grinned brightly, instead.
"James? What are you doing in Ireland? Man, I haven't seen you since we were in like primary school or something – not since before I left for Hog...um...my boarding school. Then my stepdad got a new job right after that and they all moved from London to the country during my first term away, so I didn't get a chance to go back to London and say good-bye to you." Dean paused and seemed a bit embarrassed for a moment before he regrouped. "I never did find out what happened to you, either. Do you live here now?"
"Yeah," James grimaced as he admitted the truth. "Mum got divorced again and so I got dumped here with my aunt and my cousin."
"Oh! Sorry, Man," Dean replied with a frown of his own since he was not really surprised. After all, even though they had been younger back then, he and James had still been good mates. Since they even lived in the same building, they had spent a lot of time together at each other's flats. Therefore, he definitely remembered what James' mother was like. At the time, she had always acted like more of a helpless child then they had.
"What about you, though?" James interrupted his thoughts as he asked the next question with obvious hope in his tone, "You don't live here, now, do you?"
Dean laughed. "That would be a weird coincidence. Wouldn't it? Almost like magic, I'd say!" Here Dean paused and grinned mischievously for some reason before he finished his answer. "Nah! When I'm not at school, I still live in the good ol' English countryside. I'm just spending this break with a friend from school who lives here. We were going out, but he forgot his wallet and had to run back up to get it."
"School friend?" James asked as he thought about the only other guy in the building who was near their age. "Wait! You don't mean that you go to the same boarding school as..."
Before he could finish his statement, though, a voice sounded behind him.
"Well, if it isn't James! That mental cousin of yours isn't around, too, is she? She must not be, because it's way too quiet in here!"
"Hey, Seamus!" James greeted the newcomer warmly before he added, "That's not nice, by the way. Michelle isn't...um...never mind." He wanted to defend her. He really did. However, he still gave up and sighed. After all, facts were facts and he just could not argue that point. "No. She went shopping with the other girls."
"The other girls, heh? How about you and Erin? You ever...?"
James sighed mournfully. "Still working on that, mate."
"Tough luck, that," Seamus replied sympathetically before he grinned merrily. "Fortunately, I've already found my soulmate right here. This is my best mate and boyfriend, Dean Thomas." He reached up to the taller Dean in order to put an arm around his neck and pull him close. For his part, Dean looked a little embarrassed, but he did not pull away.
"You guys are together?" James asked surprised.
He did not know Seamus very well, but he had never thought about Dean being gay. Of course, back when they had been friends and neighbors, they had been a lot younger and had not even hit puberty, yet. Therefore, he guessed it just had not mattered. Of course, he had been mistaken as gay many times himself...and he had been friends with Claire, as well, before she had figured out that she liked girls. Therefore, he really did not care. The situation just seemed odd because he had not expected it.
"Yeah!" Seamus suddenly frowned and pulled away from Dean a bit. "You got a problem with that?" he asked with a hint of warning in his tone.
James waved his hands in denial. After all, he had only paused because he was thinking. "No way! As long as you're happy and don't hit on me...'cause I still like girls, remember? It's just kind of weird, though, since Dean and I used to take baths together and have sleepovers and stuff, too."
"Don't worry, Mate, you're not my type!" Seamus answered automatically before he realized exactly what else James had said. "Wait a minute...Baths?...how exactly do you already know my ThomCat?" he asked suspiciously as he tightened his grip possessively on the other boy again.
"Shay," Dean replied with a shortened form of his boyfriend's name in an affectionate tone before he gently pushed him away. "I asked you not to call me that in public. It's embarrassing!" He paused before he answered the original question. "No need to be jealous, either. James and I were friends in London when we were younger...before you and I even met at school. We lived in the same building back then, too."
"Really? That's one wicked coincidence!" Seamus replied in relief. "Almost like..."
"Magic...yep...That's what I said, too!" Dean interrupted and they both laughed easily since the potential misunderstanding had already been cleared up before it could cause any trouble.
James did not get the joke, but he did realize how nice it was to finally have some guys to talk to. Therefore, unlike the last disaster when he had tried to impress another lad, he worked really hard to not lose his cool and start randomly babbling about tits and beer. Well, tits might not have mattered too much to the guys in front of him, anyway, since they were gay. However, he did finally remember that Dean had really liked football when they were younger, so he tried out that topic of conversation, instead.
"Do you still root for West Ham?" he asked.
At the question, Dean's eyes lit up. "Finally!" He turned to his boyfriend. "I'm sorry, Seamus, but I changed my mind. I'm going to have to leave you for James, now, after all. I've decided I could never be with someone who doesn't know football."
"No! I'll never let you go, ThomCat!" Seamus cried out in mock despair as he clung to his boyfriend in a obviously comic overreaction kind of way. "What about our mutual love of Quidditch? Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
The two continued to act silly for a few more minutes before they turned back to James...who could not help but smile at their antics.
It must be nice to be that close to someone, he mused. I really wish that Erin...
That wistful thought was cut off, however, when Dean spoke to him again.
"Were you on your way out, too?" The other boy asked. "We're not keeping you from something important, are we?"
"Nah," James replied truthfully. "Since the girls are busy, I was bored so I'm just heading out to the arcade for a while."
"The arcade?" Seamus eyes lit up. "Did you hear that, Dean? I haven't been to one in forever. I could finally kick your arse at Mar..."
"You could try," Dean interrupted cooly, "but I don't think you'd succeed." He looked back at James. "Can you believe that we don't get to play video games at our school? In fact, we haven't played any at all since the last break."
"No way!" James replied in a horrified tone. "Do you guys go to some kind of prison school or something? Despite Our Lady being a Catholic girls' school, I've even seen some of the Sisters playing with the Game Boys they confiscated during class."
That statement triggered an idea for Seamus and he turned to Dean again. "I can easily see him taking them, but can you imagine greasy git Snape playing a video game?" he asked him. They both snickered at the thought.
"Our po...chemistry...teacher, Mate," Dean clarified when he saw that James looked confused. "He's the worst. He looks like a vampire and is always assigning detentions. Of course, Seamus does like to blow stuff up in his class, so maybe he deserves it a little. However, I'm always an innocent angel of a bystander."
"Ha! Innocent, my foot!" Seamus retaliated. "Plus, nobody deserves that...but at least I'm not as bad as poor Neville," Seamus tried to defend himself and Dean thought about it for a moment before he nodded.
"True," he easily agreed before he turned back to James again.
"So...mind if we tag along with you to the arcade? After all, I seem to remember having some epic Nintendo battles together when we were kids. It's bound to be more fun now since we actually know what we're doing and not just mashing buttons to see what will happen."
"And if not, then we'll just fake it until we make it," Seamus agreed cheerfully as he slung his arm casually around Dean again.
James could not help but to laugh at that as he excitedly welcomed their company. After all, finding some lads to hang out with was all he had really wanted to do, anyway. Not only that, but Dean had been his best childhood mate and he had always wondered what had happened to him. Plus, Dean's boyfriend, Seamus, just happened to James's current neighbor, as well.
It really is almost like a magical coincidence, he agreed to himself as that the three of them left the building side by side with Dean in the middle.
"By the way," James asked as they neared the bus stop. "What's quidditch? Is that some kind of game, too?"
Dean and Seamus just shook their heads and laughed.
It was not until much later that night, after they had returned home from hours of the most fun he had experienced in a very long time by playing games, talking trash, eating junk food...as well as their Pac Man-style avoidance of the Derry guys after they noticed that there were now two English blokes in town instead of one...that James realized that the other two lads had never actually answered his question. Plus, it seemed as if they had avoided talking about their school as much as possible after that, as well.
However, he certainly did not feel like discussing his time at Our Lady during his break, either, so he did not think their silence on the manner was too odd. They just had more important things to do...like have fun!
In addition to all of that, even though Dean and Seamus were obviously a couple, it did not feel weird to hang out with them, at all. James had still enjoyed his time out as just "one of the guys" instead of "one of the girls" so much that he really could not bring himself to care very much about their mysteries or their relationship. In fact, James hated the fact that they could not spend even more time together because those two were headed back to Scotland on the very next day. Nevertheless, he found that he just looked forward to the next time the magic of coincidence brought them together so that they could do it all again!
His desire to hang out with the lads again soon was especially strong when, right after his arrival at home, Michelle burst into his room without asking or knocking. Then she...along with her usual neverending spew of profanity...insisted on showing him the thongs that she had indeed purchased that day. James was forced to be grateful for small favors, though, since at least she was not wearing them at the time!