Of Sunshine, spiders and tin cans
Summary: In which Hazel Stark has a crush on the sun and Peter is confused by it all. Or, how Hazel wants a Polly and falls in love with an alien being name Apollo. In the meanwhile Tony Stark could swear Pepper Potts wasn't always a can.
Chapter 1 in which Pepper Potts is a peppers can
The weirdest of the weird happened when Tony Stark found a peppers can sitting on his table and it wasn't just any sort of peppers can it was Doctor Pepper can sitting on his table. And, for the life of him Tony Stark couldn't work out why or how it got there in the first place. Either way, it was there and it baffled him. He didn't get this riddle and then something weird happened when his daughter waltz into the household with a big grin on her face and dreamily looked out at the large window.
"I'm in love with the sun," she smiled happily. And, walked off as if nothing happened.
"Okay," said Tony Stark as slowly as possible to himself because for the life of him. He didn't understand what his daughter was on about then again he also didn't understand why there was a can of Doctor Pepper sitting on his table.
He stared at it real hard and frowned at it. Only to decided to leave it for the time being because for the life of him this riddle was too hard to work out there for too difficulty to work out and the next thing he knows something odd dawned on him.
For he was sure something odd had happened that day. Something which fell into the paranormal list. A woman just appeared out of the blue and according to Jarvis she didn't come through the window nor the front door or the back, leaving him a bit baffled at the thought. The last he saw was a woman in brown with long dark red hair and green eyes wearing a golden crown on her head as Pepper Potts sat on his couch, typing away finishing off the last amount of paper work. She was meant to do.
And, as he left he could've sworn she left a can of Doctor Pepper on his table top. Only the more he thought about it and the more he dealt with the idea of the issue it dawned on him. It dawned on him that this meant one thing. He was dealing with a witch whom turned his bookkeeper into a can.
"Pepper!"
He rushed as fast as he could back into the living room. Past his dreaming daughter and through the narrowed hallway where he reached the can quickly before Happy could. Knowing Happy Horgan he would swallow the liquor inside and there would be the end of Pepper Potts, so with a quick save he plucked it off the table.
"Sorry, Happy it's uhh my can."
"I see sir," said Happy and whistled away as he walked off down the hall. Tony Stark sighed in relief.
"Hazel look after this can. It has your mother in it at this point."
For Pepper Potts has been working with the Stark family long before Hazel was born, but off course she wasn't Hazel true mother by blood.
"Ohh a drink. How, nice."
Before she could open it Tony stopped her and snapped his fingers at her trying to snap her out of her dream world.
"What? What? What an earth did I miss?"she demanded.
"Hazel this a serious matter some nob turned your mother into a can."
"A nob. What's a nob?"
"A person who's below us."
"Huff."
"That isn't my daughter, my son in law, my body guard, my parents in law and this can."
"You have a can that's dear to you?"she seriously wondered.
"Yes, I have a can that is dear to me and she is name Pepper."
"A can?"she wondered looking as if her father had lost the plot, but she couldn't compare thought Tony Stark for she was in loved with the sun.
"Yes, Hazel a can. Now, what's your problem with off today?"
"I want a Polly."
"You want a Polly? Why would you want some woman name Polly?"
"Eww, gross. I don't want some woman name Polly. As in more than one person in my relationship."
"Is Parker cool with this?"asked Tony Stark.
"No, not yet at least. But then again I haven't told him once he gets home from work I'll end up telling him the truth. Now, do you want a Polly with a can?"asked Hazel with curious eyes wondering what an earth he was on about.
Tony Stark felt old in that moment because he did not at all know what a Polly was.
"And, a Polly is?"
"Three people in a relationship old man," mocked his daughter.
"Aww, I'm not old."
"You're forty compared to me."
"This is true. That I am and alright you can have one more person in this relationship if and only if you asked Parker about this as will."
"Fine," she huffed. "I will. I will indeed asked Peter about this subject as will."
"Oh, good. Now, who's this third wheel you want to take along with?"asked Tony Stark.
"The sun."
There was a moment of silence between the pair as the two stared at one another. Hazel happily, content and smiley dreaming meanwhile Tony Stark very baffled, concerned and worried that his daughter was slightly going loopy in other words going Stark mad.
"Can you say that again?"
"Apollo," Hazel said.
"An apple?"
He truly didn't get the name at all as if it came from another country another place, where the name was unheard off.
"Apollo not an apple. Gee, catch up dad."
"Alright, alright I'll catch up then. In other words you're in love with the new coming from out of town."
"He's the Champion of the Sun."
"He's the what and a who now?"
"The Champion of the Sun," she said again.
"Jarvis?" Tony Stark asked his AI. "What does Champion mean?"
"Sir, it means Kinghood."
"He's the King of the sun? So, he owns the sun?" Tony Stark asked.
"In a sense."
"In a sense."
He was completely lost and feeling very old school compared to his daughter.
"Huh."
"And, I've seen him at least twice."
"Huh?"he said again still feeling lost on the matter.
"So…"
"He's alien being although I call galactic being,"
"Huh?"
"In other words he's from space."
The gears in his mind started to move, slowly, slowly and ever so slowly before it slowly dawned on him then slowly quick and then it snapped into gear his eyes widen.
"He's from space."
"What's this about the space bar?"asked Hazel Stark.
"Space kiddo. Space, the big unknown."
"The big unknown, whoa."her eyes widen before it dawned on her. "Wait? You mean that weird thing in the sky."
"Yes. That's space."
"Whoa? Space. Heavy on the disc."
"Wait what?"
Sometimes he wondered if his daughter came from another planted at all and sometimes he wonder if he should've tracked down the woman he slept with all those years ago and kept her by his side. Just so he can get to know that said woman in the process and understand the puzzle which is Hazel Stark.
"Anywho, thanks dad got to go. Gotta to tell Peter the good news."
Hazel stood up and walked off with a skip in her beat leaving Tony Stark to himself to think about this problem carefully only to pause and wonder what to do about his can that used to be his best friend.
Chapter 2 In which Peter Parker is baffled by it all
Peter Parker was terribly confessed by the time he arrived home with his Aunt May. His wife came skipping up to him with a smile on her face and kissed him on the cheek and said very proudly that she wanted a Polly.
The problem was. He didn't know what a Polly was nor never heard of anyone by the name of Polly to begin with. And, let here he is wandering around the tower at six in the morning with the biggest question left on his mind. What is a Polly? However, there was one small problem because when he went to ask the others they were all still ever so asleep and showed no sign of waking up until at least about eight in the morning.
Jarvis wasn't much help either because the AI. Wouldn't let anyone through much less Peter Parker. He tried calling his uncle, but Rhodey phone went straight to voice mail leaving, Peter even more baffled by it all.
He tried to wake up his wife, but his wife was fast asleep and snoring loudly and her hair was a mess covering up most of her face as she slept half naked on their bed. He tried to wake her up, but every time he did she would slightly moved to the left and she would be heard snoring telling him that his beloved wife was very much alive.
Endless as the search may be. Peter Parker decided his next cause of action was to wake up his body guard, just for fun. Unlike his father in law. He could get away with this sort of thing because he couldn't get away with this sort of thing with the Great and ever so famous Tony Stark. Or, he'd be dead. Just dead. No, grave mark at all.
So, as any twenty- six year old he marched outside humming his lovely tune and started to climb on the windows of the skyscraper. Humming as loudly as possible just to make sure Flash Thompson can hear him and so off he went climbing and climbing, up ever so high and stopped at the or so, one hundredth floor.
Flash Thompson his old bully from school whom was now his body guard. Was fast asleep with one arm sling over his head in his own bed in Stark tower.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Tap. Tap. Tap, goes the bird tapping at the glass window before the little sparrow few off into the distance and Peter blinked at the odd blizzard moment in his life before he went back to knocking on the window. Flash woke up ever so slightly before turning around with his messy blonde hair and grunted a little and then went back to sleep, tucking his head into his pillow and pretending there was nothing wrong with the world.
Knock, knock.
Flash Thompson woke up and walked all the way to the window, middy asleep and kept running into that said window and shrugged his shoulders. As if to say, he really couldn't do anything about the window since the windows didn't have scroll opened window shutters.
He tried his best to give Flash Thompson some hand signs to show that he was coming inside his bedroom to explain to him the latest thing his wife wanted. Flash shrugged his shoulders picked up the remote control that lead to his room and the door magically opened. Peter cheered to himself and walked back down the ever so tall tower, trying his best not to look down at the busy road below him fearing the worst, fearing it.
Fearing the fact he might fall and hit the bottom, but he had to get down to tell Flash something and with his powers he was the only one with the skill and the power to climb up walls. All thanks to the fact that he was bitten by a mutant radioactive spider. Allowing Peter Parker to swing webs at people faces and climb walls with strength of a red back. If any other human did this they would never make it past the first window and if they went down they would go following to their doom.
Peter was a special child, Aunt May told him. Peter shouldn't play with spiders his aunt told him and if he did stay away from the sickly ones, his uncle Ben would say. And, so Peter never listened and went playing with spiders when he was a teen and now he was stuck with a billionaire as a father and a loving wife who wanted a Polly.
The question reminded what an earth was a Polly and why did he not like that idea?
Chapter 3 In which Hazel babysits a can
In which Hazel Stark finds herself looking after a can, but not just any can a Doctor Peppers can. It was red in colour with big bold black writing on the label that said, Doctor Pepper drink me now or else you'll miss me. Hazel glared at the writing and turned to Rhodey. Her godfather walked into the room and smiled plopping down next to her.
"Hey, kiddo your husband called this morning. Any idea what it might be about?"
"No, clue. I was fast asleep," said Hazel. "Slept peacefully I might add. And, you?"
"Slept myself, but by the time I checked my phone calls there wasn't a message from him."
"Huh," she said more to herself than to him.
"So, what do you have there?"
"A can."
"A can?" Rhodey wonder to himself at the thought.
"Yes, a can. But not just any can a tin can," she said happily. "If only I was ever allowed to drink this I'll be ever so happy."
"Your father gave you a can to stare at. Not to drink it, but to stare at it and look after it?"
"It might live to old age uncle," she said wish-full thinking.
"Okay," uncle Rhodey said slowly as if he was probably thinking his best friend has gone slightly mad. "Any idea where he is?"
"In the lab down stories."
James Rhodey nodded his head, took the lift and press the password code into Tony Stark lab and then off he went behind the glass walls to find his best friend digging through paper and blue prints. Paper? His best friend was looking through paper? Out of all the things his best friend touched Paper was not one of them and for a moment Rhodey thought there might've been something wrong and something different about his best friend as he attempt to read one of those old tiny blueprint plans. For this was not a normal sight, much less bitting on the tip of a pen at that . And, yet here he was looking up at James Rhodey with curious eyes and a slight frown as if to say. He was busy, come again next time, but Rhodey wasn't going to leave anytime soon not with his best friend working away madly on who knows what.
"Sup, Tones. My man in the game is up to who knows what?"
"Rhodey, shoo."
"Busy, Tones want to talk to you and see what you're up to," said Rhodey. "Care to tell?"
"It's a project of mine."
"For the Air Force?"he asked.
"No, for Pepper."
"And, Pepper is what to whom?"Rhodey wondered.
"My bookkeeper whom been beside me since Hazel was born." Tony said with a light scowled as if you're meant to remember a nob, but Rhodey didn't want to remember a nob much less one which might've broken into his best friend tower. Calming she was looking for a job, refusing to leave no matter what and sat there serving lunch which wasn't poison and somehow knew how to look after a baby as if the angels had sent her.
"Huh. You're helping a nob," said Rhodey.
"Not all women are nob."
"You're right. Only when they're Pepper."
"Not all people are nob's," said Tony Stark.
The two stared at one another, stare, and stare before they broke the stare and crackled up laughing at the mere thought.
"Okay, let's both admit that only Pepper and Hazel aren't the nob."
"Fine by me. But what of the others? Aunt May does more work than you in companies. So, by that theory you're the nob."
"I work," said Tony wrinkling up one of his blueprints.
"You're a weapon company that decided to make suits."
"Weapon like iron suits made of iron and not fabric."
"Still your make fancy suits," said Rhodey.
"I am not a dress shop," said Tony with a blank stare.
Rhodey pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Fine, you're not a dress shop."
"Thank you. Now, what are you here for and why?"
"Simple. Why is your beloved daughter looking after a can?"he wondered to himself.
"Because that said can is said to be the infamous Pepper Pots," Tony Stark said proudly.
"The infamous Pepper Potts is a peppers can?"wonder Rhodey.
Both white men stare once more and kept on staring before Rhodey let out another sigh as if he was dealing with Tony Stark dumb, dumb, dumb moments while rare it happened.
"So, you're best friend turned into a can and now you're looking for answers."
"And, that isn't all," said Tony Stark his eyes glancing around radially. As if expecting someone to pop out at any moment by now. "My daughter in love with the sun."
"The sun?"
"Yes, Rhodey. The sun the actuals sun that's who my daughter is said to be in loved with is the sun you know that big ball of rock floating in space that lights up on fire. That. My daughter in love with the sun."
"The sun?"wonder Rhodey. "She has a husband."
"And, they've talked about it. And, she's the one who wants a Polly with it."
"A Polly?"
"Yes."
"A Polly."
"An, actual Polly?"he asked out loud shock to hear such an answer.
"Yes, an actually Polly," Tony paused. "Wait. What's a Polly and how do you know about it?"
Rhodey slung an arm around Tony Stark shoulder and walked over to the door where he planned to get his friend some lunch.
"Tony, Tony, Tony my friend a Polly is where you want a pulse one in your relationship."
"My daughter wants a third wheel?"
"Or, there's a clan."
"And, how many people are in a clan?"
"More than two."said Rhodey. "I knew some weird people in University Tones. Weird people. Very weird people."
"Huh? And, it's not seen as cheating?"
"No. It's only seen as cheating if the woman or the bloke finds another person and doesn't tell them behind their back. But for the most part clans and Pollys are normally healthier just weird. Weird if you're a single bloke like me."said Rhodey.
"Huh. Good to know, good to know."
"Now, why is my daughter in love with the sun?"demanded Tony Stark.
"She might not be. She might be in love with it's Champion," said Rhodey as succeeds in walking his best bud out the door.
"She might be in love with it's Champion?"mumbled Tony Stark. "And. Who is that?"
"Apollo a galactic being," said Rhodey.
There was another moment of silence between the two men as Rhodey paused to let his best friend think about this fact a little bit more. He stood there staring at the floor his mouth opened and he could basically see the gears turning in his mind.
"Yes, Tony a galactic being," said Rhodey.
"Huh and you know this how?"
"Air Force top project. Super, hushed. They're looking for a parting gift."
"It better not be my daughter,' scowled Tony.
"It really isn't."
"And, you better not be planning to set them up with trash or else Earth is doomed which includes my daughter," frowned Tony Stark.
"Ah."
"Will I had my dine say in the matter. Now, about this Polly."
"Tony I am not going to be your friend third wheel."
"But Rhodey," he whined.
"Stark no, just no. I'm fourty-four for Christ shake. Now, about this project. I think I know a way in turning your friend back from a can to a person."
"Oh, thank the stars."
And, that is when and that is how Peter Parker and Flash Thompson came rushing towards them.
"What's a Polly?"asked Peter Parker.
"Why is Hazel staring at a tin can?"wonder Flash.
Rhodey just sighed and let out a chuckle because despite it he was stuck with these people and he was perfectly fine with living with that fact.
Chapter 4 In which there are two cans and a witch
Peter stared baffled at the sight of it all. There it was his wife a tin can sitting next to another tin can only his wife happened to be a can of coke saying hah, written in big bold letters. His jaw was dropped opened at the sight of it all and he couldn't believe this was happening to him because his wife was a tin can.
"Now, we get the footage out." Tony Stark said.
"The camera footage that's fine by me Tones," said Rhodey.
The three men rushed up to the floor above them while Peter stared in shock. There before him and in front of him was his wife a tin can.
A tin can.
"Jarvis. Show the recent data of this morning," said Tony.
"Of course Sir," said Jarvis. The computer system started to upload and camera footage appeared.
It showed Hazel Stark sitting on the couch her legs moving back and fourth as she hummed to herself and then it also showed a shadow appearing to the left. As a woman with dark red hair and a golden crown appeared.
"Where did she come from?"asked Tony.
Hazel didn't seem to recognise the presence or the movement of the strange woman appearing to her, but by the time she did she disappeared and Hazel was a can.
"Who the heck is she?"demanded Tony.
"I have no idea. I'm more baffled by the fact a random person walked into your tower turned your daughter into a tin can and got past home security."
"That isn't the point."
"Tones, this is the exactly the point. Your daughter has been and was and is a tin can. With her final words saying hah. Hah!"
"So, we have a problem?"asked the normally fairly mind and smartest man in the tech industry said.
"Your daughter a tin can, along with your bookkeeper this is a cold red for us Tones. Now, come on let's get a move on. If anyone knows how to fix things it's an alien being from another plant."
"My daughter says they're galactic," pointed out Tony Stark.
"Your daughter a tin can."
"I might've forgotten about that," mumbled Tony more to himself than to Rhodey.
Chapter 5 In which there is three cans now
"We have a can," said Peter Parker as he rushed up to the General.
"Make that two," said Rhodey both showing them their cans of drinks.
Doctor Pepper was very silent can meanwhile people could've sworn they can hear the coke can still saying. Hah!
"Well done you two. You are here by classed in the special class known as team dumb, dumb. Or, as I like to call it team stupid. Now, please get back to whatever you were doing and let me work," said the General.
"Sir, I'm wondering if those beings can help us solve the problem since those beings might've been the ones who have caused it to begin with."
"Beings? What an earth are you talking about?"asked the General of the Air Force glaring at Rhodey.
"Galactic," said Tony proudly.
"Alien," said Rhodey blankly.
"And, are you sure this was caused by an alien being?"
"Yes. Maybe, possible all we know is that the camera footage showed us a woman with red hair and a golden crown. She's not from here with that outfit," said Rhodey.
"You can say that again."
"Not from here with that outfit."said Rhodey.
"Figure of speech Private."
"Yes, sir."mumbled Rhodey.
"I'll see if I can get there messages on the line somehow," said the General as if he was looking at a very complicated puzzle for the most part.
"What do we do in the meantime?"asked Peter Parker. "My wife a tin can and Pepper Potts is one to. How do we know it won't be long before we are all tin cans?"
"Hmm," thought the General. As he thought and thought very hard on the matter about why an earth there were two civilians being turned into magical tin cans one was even still speaking the world - hah.
Then it happened. It happened too fast for the group likely because all of a sudden the General was gone and he too turned into a tin can. Not just any tin can a lemonade tin can that said, halt.
"Great. Now, we have three tin cans," said Rhodey. "Now, what?"
"Now, we cry and burrow our beloved people before the awful trash bin gets them," moan Tony Stark.
Peter Parker snapped his fingers and went ah-huh at the mere thought of an idea occurring for Peter didn't have that many ideas and when an idea did occurred it was just too golden to throw away. So, naturally they all gave Peter a pat on the back and Aunt May would make him her famous apple pie. Aunt May and uncle Ben though were both away on their holiday enjoying beach weather and getting stuck in traffic. Meanwhile the rest of the group was stuck in New York dealing with the tin can issue.
"Or you can just call me. I exist too, so you know. I'm here if you need to send a message to the elite," said Hermis the paper boy to the Champions of space.