...quotes within quotes are a nightmare, I have to figure out a better way to handle the talking about the game timeline while in the postgame timeline. #writerproblems again!

Begin Recording

Kellogg

Recording by Scribe Ellison

"This is Emily Mason recording for Scribe Ellison. The latest caravan brought me a couple of notes from people down in the Capital Wasteland who have been listening to these holotapes. Never thought of myself as a bestselling autobiography, but I'm glad you're enjoying it. Please come visit anytime, if you'd like to take a caravan up. Overseer Amata, I'd love to meet you and hear about what it was like living in a real vault. Mayor, I'd love to swap settlement management tips. Scribes, if you're all like the scribe we already have you can all come visit. And whoever Moira Brown is, you apparently borrow these holotapes without asking, and you're a writer? You must be an interesting person. If you get bored with the Capital, come see us in Sanctuary.

"When the last tape ended my friends and I were looking for the key to Kellogg's house, where we thought Shaun might have lived for a while. He did, so he'll talk on this tape too.

"The problem was that the key to Kellogg's house, if there was one, was held by the person in charge of real estate in Diamond City—the mayor. Piper's arch-nemesis.

"So I got to hear from Piper all about how she thinks the mayor is a synth, evidence: he doesn't talk like a real person and he's unwilling to search for people who have disappeared. His law enforcement is spotty so he must have an agenda that pushes him to prioritize one case over another, and that agenda must be that the Institute is pulling his strings.

"Which… could have been true. I'd only been in Diamond City a few days, I didn't even know what normal looked like. So even though the Suffolk County School of Law graduate in me had thought the word 'libel' when reading The Synthetic Truth I didn't know enough to bring it up. Also, I liked Piper and didn't want to lose a new friend.

"Piper thought it would be better if I talked to the mayor by myself so she and Dogmeat waited at the bottom of the rickety elevator to the mayor's office high up in the stands. The elevator was a little scary but from the top I could see why the mayor wanted to live up here. You can see all of Diamond City from the top tier, and out over the wall at the tottering bombed-out skyscrapers. You can see the whole world.

"The mayor's secretary Geneva smiled at me with very red lips and said the mayor was happy to see members of the public as long as they weren't journalists. Piper had also just told me the mayor was having an affair with his secretary, though how that worked with being a synth I wasn't sure.

"The mayor greeted me effusively, said he envied me seeing the place for the first time. He looked like an ordinary man, and had that ordinary shaving soap smell. Talked like a politician. Gave me a speech about the importance of security and private property instead of giving me the key. Even when I said I was working with Valentine to find my missing son he didn't change his mind.

"No wonder Piper thought this guy was so fake, he was so cheerfully unhelpful.

"So I… used the magic of cold hard caps. Bribed the secretary. Not sure what I would've done if that hadn't worked.

"I told Piper the story on our way to get Valentine at his place, then we went to look around Kellogg's house.

It was a tiny place. Rusty metal walls, metal floor, I bet it was freezing in the winter. There was just one room with an even tinier loft with a cot and a sleeping bag. "Two beds! Handcuffs, why did he have handcuffs?" They were on a table with a water pitcher and cups, normal stuff plus handcuffs. That was a little worrying, but the sleeping bag suggested a child might have lived there.

"This place look small to you?" Valentine asked from down below. It did, but I was used to prewar houses where everyone had their own room. Piper didn't seem to think it was strange.

"The two of them started looking through a box of files while Dogmeat sniffed at the beds. I came down from the loft, behind the room's desk. So I saw the wires back there. "Hey, there's something here." I found a button tucked up under the desk and pushed it.

"A section of the wall scraped open and there was another room, filled with shelves and cabinets. Valentine went through first and scanned the shelves. "Well lookit this, all a merc's favorite things."

"I saw ammo boxes and tools, someone had been modifying guns here. There was food on the shelves too, and some glowing bottles. Nuka-cola Quantum! They make the best night lights, but don't drink them.

"I was trying to look at everything at once, looking for some sign my son had been there. But there was nothing. No toys, no Silver Shroud posters on the wall, no lunchbox or schoolwork, no small clothes. Just the sleeping bag. "

Shaun is sitting nearby with The Big Book of Science for Kids open on his lap, half-listening to us as he reads. He pipes up, "I had toys and clothes. Kellogg prob'ly sold them after I left."

Curious I ask, "Was Kellogg nice to you?"

"Mmhm. He was a bad man but he made sure we had food and made me go to school. Always said stuff like, 'I'm not your dad, I'm just looking after you until your mother or father comes to get you. So shove off, kid.' I think he did like me a little bit but I'm glad Mom found me. it's better living here with everybody."

"Thanks, Shaun. Dogmeat helped with the next part of finding you. Turns out Kellogg had a favorite brand of beer and cigars, really stinky cigars. Dogmeat sniffed at them and then at the floor, then he pawed the door.

"Valentine said, "Wasteland mutt like him, bet he can follow a scent even as old as this one is. Grab your traveling gear and let's follow him and see."

"Dogmeat did seem to know where he was going. He led us out of the dreary apartment and was headed out of Diamond City while Piper and I rushed to Publick Occurrences to get the rest of our stuff. Valentine can walk across the wasteland without needing to bring food and water, but we couldn't. I did try to tell piper she didn't have to come, but she wasn't having it.

"You kidding, Blue? I'm not missing this! I'll be back before the next issue has to be out!"

"Nat seemed to be used to her sister doing this, she just waved to us and said now she'd get to eat noodles every meal.

"It was good that we started in the morning, because it was a long trek. Dogmeat led us along the train tracks for miles. There were some feral ghouls along the way, and my first glowing molerat which made me embarrass myself which made me embarrass myself by yelling, "What the hell?" really loudly in the middle of a fight. At least we had plenty of time after that for my new friends to tell me about ghouls, including the important difference between feral ghouls and ordinary ones, and that ghouls aren't welcome in Diamond City which was why I hadn't seen any yet.

"We found some robots Kellogg must have destroyed along the way. They must have done some damage back since we found bloody bandages hanging on a fence a little farther on. And then Dogmeat sniffed his way up a hill and into town and to the front of Fort Hagan.

"I'd been there. Recently, right before Shaun was born Nate and I went to some kind of military reunion at Fort Hagan. I think the military was hoping that people who'd done their tour would get nostalgic and reenlist, but Nate just wanted to hang out with his buddies from the 108th and show me off. The whole reason I learned to shoot a gun was that one of the guys said women can't join the army because they can't shoot and Nate bet a whole night of drinks that his wife could learn by next month. So he took me to the range and I loved it and now Nate had a 'cute, deadly, pregnant' wife who'd won drinks for everyone to show off at the reunion. That was a fun party, even if I couldn't drink because of the baby.

"So there we were, the door I remembered walking through wearing my best dress that hardly fit since I was big as a whale. Only now the door was boarded up and piled with boxes that Dogmeat was pawing at and barking. Kellogg must have gone through this door, but nobody was going through it now.

"We had to find another way in. I turned left, headed for the parking garage. There had to be another door there, so people could get out to their cars when it rained. We found a bunch of dead cars and piled junk, and eventually a door. It was locked but Valentine managed this lock. He peeked in then pulled back and closed the door. "Can't tell what's in there, but if it's Kellogg he may have friends, and if it's the Institute there may be a lot of synths. I know you're not backing down Em, but maybe the nosy reporter should."

"What are you saying about my shooting, Valentine?"

"I'm saying it's dangerous and you have a kid sister waiting for you."

"I can handle myself! But you're right. I'll keep Dogmeat with me and we'll hang back, let you two handle most of the bad guys. Jump in if you get overwhelmed."

And then there was this moment when everyone checks their gun, pats the pocket with the extra ammo, settles their armor more solidly. I've had that moment many times since then with different people at my side, but that's the first time I really noticed it as a thing. Making sure your leg bracer isn't going to dig into your ankle if you crouch, putting the helmet strap under your chin instead of behind your head so the thing doesn't fall down over your face. Gun loaded, ammo accessible, safety on but ready to take it off. Ready to go.

The place was a maze, and it was full of synths. I saw the first one just as it walked out of sight, the shape of a human walking casually from one room to another. I froze, knowing whoever was in here wouldn't be friendly. A moment later it walked back.

Gen-twos are really creepy. Human shape, but the torso is this open cage full of machinery. They don't move right, they don't move like humans. Yellow eyes, but Nick's got yellow eyes and he isn't nearly so unnerving.

We spent way too long clearing the public floors, and I know Piper found even more synths because we heard shots from other rooms too. Finally realized there was no place to go but down into the utility tunnels under the building. It looked like someone had cleared the worst of the rubble out of the halls, and someone had moved in some turrets.

Then a voice said, "Well if it isn't my old friend the frozen TV dinner. Last time we met you were cuddling up to the peas and apple cobbler."

Kellogg's voice. I gasped and looked around wildly. Didn't see the intercom, but there must have been one. Valentine, sounding completely calm, said, "Well he knows we're here. Look out!" As an electric trap shot lightning down in front of me. We waited for it to run out of juice and went around a corner.

"Walk away." Kellogg's voice said.

This time I looked up and saw the speaker. Could he hear me? "No." I said.

"Sorry your house has been a wreck for two hundred years, but I don't need a roommate. Leave."

"Don't let him rattle you." Valentine said, and opened the next door.

A few steps past it Kellogg spoke again. "Huh. Never expected you to come knocking on my door. Gave it fifty-fifty odds you'd even make it to Diamond City. After that? Figured the Commonwealth would chew you up like jerky."

But it did rattle me, because the next synth got me in the arm with some kind of shock stick and I had to spend precious minutes shaking numbness from my hand.

We came out on the edge of a big space, mostly blocked off by glass walls. Most of the lights were out, and we couldn't see anything behind the glass. Our hall was half full of rubble and Nick said, "Some folks never lose their fondness for living in the basement." Half a dozen synths were already living in this one, and I was already starting to get tired.

"Look, you're pissed off, I get it, I do. But whatever you hope to accomplish in here, it's not going to go your way."

I didn't answer.

More synths. Valentine hollering, "Do you really want this to be the last mug you see?" Using a stimpack, then another one. More shooting behind us as Piper took out some stragglers. More stairs down.

"You got guts and determination, that's admirable. But you are in over your head in ways you cannot possibly comprehend." Kellogg was the ghost in the walls, and he almost sounded… real. Like he wasn't just taunting me. But I couldn't really stop and think, because I had to duck behind a door to reload. I leaned out to fire and saw my bullet go right through a synth's open chest, barely touching the machinery that filled it.

"It's not too late. Stop. Turn around and leave. You have that option, not a lot of people can say that."

I'd just taken a hit of med-x when those words came down from the ceiling, and my head was swimming from the drug and the way my leg felt on fire after a near miss from a synth pistol. Again I thought Kellogg sounded like he really was warning me. Valentine paused next to me to reload. "We survive this, I owe you a stiff drink. Now look out, every time he flaps his gums it means we're about to hit a trap."

Nick was right; two laser turrets sank from the ceiling and opened up on us. But beyond them we found what had to be Kellogg's apartment. Clean rooms, a bed and a couch and a kitchen that might once have been the break room for employees. No sign of a child, but there hadn't been in Diamond City either. Another room with a sofa and a big desk, and a third with a hospital bed and a very white table and chair. I remembered the hazard suit the woman who took Shaun had been wearing. I hadn't seen real clean, bright white in a while.

A speaker crackled. Kellogg sounded resigned. "All right, you made it. I'm just up ahead. My synths are standing down. Let's talk." The last door in the room clicked open.

Piper and Dogmeat caught up with us then. "Is that Kellogg? He sounds like a kidnapper. We're fine and the path outside is clear if we need to get out in a hurry. You going in?" Piper said, reloading as she spoke.

So was Valentine, metal hands flashing over his revolver. "We'll stay back, follow your lead. Let you talk to Kellogg."

I nodded. I was tired and hurt and keyed up and I couldn't reload without looking just then, though I'd been doing it for the last few hours. I went for the door, up a few steps, and lights started coming on above me.

Kellogg was waiting. Smiling. "There she is, the most resilient woman in the Commonwealth."

We were surrounded by synths, but their guns were down so I slowly lowered mine as I took a few steps forward. The world narrowed to Kellogg and me. "Where's my baby?"

And Kellogg gave a little sigh, a little shrug like he really did feel sorry for me. "I'm a puppet like you. My stage is just a little bigger, that's all."

"What do-"

"Shaun's a good kid. A bit older than you expected, am I right? But he's doing great. Only… he's not here. He's with the people pulling the strings."

"Then take me to him." I said, my gun coming up again.

Kellogg laughed. A tired laugh but a real one. "Take you to him? Don't you get it? Your son, he's in a place nobody can reach. You came all this way but there's no reunion waiting and I am truly, sincerely sorry about that. At least you'll get to die knowing he's safe and happy, in a loving home. The Institute."

It was so quiet I heard Piper gasp. Kellogg didn't even glance at her. He kept looking at me with a sort of resigned pity. Like he was telling a hard truth he'd rather not have to tell.

Like nobody had a choice. "Then I'll find the Institute."

"You don't find the Institute, the Institute finds you. No matter how many times you open the closet door you won't find the monster. Until it jumps out at you. I did tell you to walk away, but since you didn't… there's really only one way this can end."

And he shot me. My world exploded in pain and a blurred impression of Valentine dragging me out of the way and hitting me with a stimpack while Piper covered us.

And then we shot a bunch more synths, it's kind of a blur. I don't even know who finished off Kellogg in the end but when the shooting stopped he was on the ground with half his head blown away.

I moaned and scooted as far back from the body as I could get, putting a desk between me and the corpse. I could still hear Kellogg's voice in my head. Shaun's a good kid… safe and happy...I hadn't wanted him dead, I wanted to ask him more questions. But Kellogg wasn't going to let that happen.

Piper threw up. But she has nerves of steel and a minute later she was offering me Kellogg's pistol. "You want it?"

"No." I choked. The gun that killed my husband, and put a hole in me just a minute ago. I'm a puppet, like you.

Valentine was looking closer at the body, the last thing I wanted to do. "Kellogg had some strange cybernetics. The man was halfway to being a synth himself! Even his brain..."

Piper twitched. "Oh god Valentine, what are you looking at that over there? Can we look for clues fast and leave? I would like to leave. Our friend don't look so good."

"I'm fine." I said. I wasn't. I didn't even know what fine would look like after this. There's no reunion waiting.

Some minutes passed. Valentine finished whatever he was doing with Kellogg's body and he and Piper checked every drawer and terminal in the room for clues and I sat leaning on Dogmeat and listening to Kellogg's voice repeat in my head and wondering if I'd had too much med-x or not enough.

"I think some of the turrets downstairs might have rebooted but we've got a clear path to the roof. Let's go."

So we waded through the broken synths back up to the public part of the building to the roof access. Dogmeat carried a synth arm most of the way, not sure why I remember that. There was some delay at the door, fumbling with the terminal to unlock it. I was not feeling well but I assumed Piper was just as exhausted and in pain, Nick too if synths got exhausted.

The door opened and the fresh air of a Commonwealth night poured in, along with a thunderous roar. My mind took a long minute to place the sound: a hot air balloon?

Valentine was the first outside and he rasped, "Oh my god."

I stepped out the door and spotlights flashed around us.

It was an airship, so massive and loud it felt like it had its own gravity, like I could fall up from the roof towards it. And I was overjoyed because it meant someone somewhere had the technology to build this beautiful thing with its lights and the smaller aircraft unfolding from its sides and flying away in a buzz of rotors.

"What… is that..?" I said, turning to keep the ship in sight and stumbling into Piper.

Under the roar of the ship I heard Valentine reciting something while he too gaped up at the thing in the sky. Then an amplified voice boomed from the airship.

"Deep into the darkness peering."

"People of the Commonwealth. Do not interfere. Our intentions are peaceful."

"Long I stood there, wondering, fearing..."

"We are the Brotherhood of Steel."

My stage is just a little bigger, that's all.

The words ran together in my head, the lights went sideways, and down I went.