Scrutiny laughed at Roman's expression. He reached forward and smoothed Roman's rust colored bangs into place. But once Samuel focused on his hair, he simply couldn't stop with just his bangs. His fingers gently straightened and flattened every small imperfection away. Roman pouted but allowed himself to be petted and groomed. He looked down at Logic's list, still in his hands.

Roman asked, "Do you feel any pain?"

"A slight discomfort behind my eyes." Scrutiny said, shifting from Roman's hair to straightening his wrinkled shirt and jacket. Scrutiny distantly categorized any other small discomforts he had. His heels hurt a bit and his muscles were sore. None of that seemed out of the ordinary for a new fusion.

Scrutiny closed his eyes tightly for a second, refocusing on the first thing he noticed: Roman's smell. Like cinnamon and B.O. Roman held his arms out so he could still see his lines while Samuel's hands roamed.

"What's your greatest ambition?" He asked.

"What's the purpose of ambition if it's impossible to reach your goals?" Scrutiny asked.

Roman frowned, pushing his hands away at last. "Wait. Hold on- Who said you can't achieve your dreams?"

"No one. I'm just talking reality. Statistics. And what's in front of us."

"What's in front of us?" Roman looked only more confused. It was quite adorable.

Scrutiny shrugged, looking over to the picture of Patton's large family on the wall. He spoke in a monotone, as if none of this mattered. "Our two absent Sides are polar opposites. This isn't generally uncommon, but ours are rare." He could feel Roman's gaze on him. "It's not common for the opposite Sides to both be Ethicals."

Only 6% of Sides have opposite Ethical Pairs. Of those, only 1% reach Establishment.

"So…?" Roman didn't have the mental capacity to draw conclusions, only to draw pretty pictures.

"They'll be home soon." Is all Scrutiny said, glancing at the clock.

Almost 39,000 people died in car crashes last year.

Scrutiny moved to the window, looking out at the setting set and the darkening road. He knew their Sides would be home within the hour or so. There was no need to focus on the way the cars sped through the neighborhood without care. Or how the headlights seemed extra blinding tonight.

Statistically most assault and batteries happen on weekend nights.

"Hey Sam." At the sound of Roman's voice, he startled. Roman tilted his head and asked slowly, "What were you going to say about Virge?"

Scrutiny's chest felt odd, like someone was filling his lungs with liquid nitrogen. His gaze landed on Roman's frown, and he said, "Why do you want to know?"

Roman shrugged, losing some courage. He muttered, "Just curious."

"Is that your Side name?" Scrutiny asked, before he shook his head and continued, "No, couldn't be. You lack the drive for knowledge."

"Hey! I can drive! And not everyone needs to be a Logic-smarty-pants." Roman said, huffing and puffing his chest out like a disgruntled rooster.

Almost 53,500 people die every year to rooster attacks.

"Would you stop that?!" Scrutiny threw his hands in the air.

Roman stepped back, holding his own hands up in defense. "What'd I do?"

"Not you!" Scrutiny pressed his palms against his eyes.

You! He thought.

15 billion trees are cut down every year. He thought back.

I can't focus when you do that!

With the same sensation as a cat knocking a full glass off a table, Scrutiny felt bombarded with the facts presented.

Mars is populated by robots who will never meet.

His heart thumped in his chest, frantic and uncomfortable.

Cuckoo birds invade other birds' nests and kill their young.

His lungs felt short, like he wasn't able to fully expand them; constricted within the cage of his too-tight ribs.

Pandas often have twins but the mother usually has to abandon one of them.

His fingers and toes felt staticy, almost like they'd fallen asleep.

Orlando has over 2,000 houseless people.

Scrutiny shook his head. He could distantly hear Roman going, "Hey are you ok, dude?"

Record high temperatures has caused-

"I can't-" Scrutiny grunted. A sharp pain pierced through his skull. "Think!"

With a shout, Scrutiny crumbled and vanished in a blinding light.

Virgil's chest rose and fell rapidly as the tingling sensation faded. He was on the ground, staring down at his hands. He felt a bizarre bubble of laughter rise out of him.

He ran a hand through his hair as he giggled, "You know so much! That was-"

"Violating!" Logic gasped beside him. Virgil looked up to see the nerd's glasses askew, his eyes distant.

Virgil felt his heart sink, the excitement fizzling out instantly. He swallowed around the sudden tightness in his throat. "W-wait, I-"

Logic blinked hard, shaking his head. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. Virgil could see his lips mouthing counting backwards. He thought he was going to be sick.

"What did you do?!" Roman shouted, dropping to his knees beside Logic and wrapping a protective arm around him.

"Nothing!" Virgil hissed back.

Roman scoffed, gesturing to Logic's haunted expression. "It clearly wasn't nothing!"

Logic cleared his throat, placing a hand on Roman's arm. Roman relaxed slightly, turning his full focus on Logic. Virgil held his breath, ready to be cast out.

"It was … nothing." Logic said at last. He looked into Virgil's eyes, and Virge felt his heart twist at the tiny tears in the corner of Logic's gaze. Logic cleared his throat again, "I was aware of the kind of trait I was fusing with. I should've … been better prepared."

He was speaking carefully, but the words only stung. Virgil looked down at his hands. He pulled on the black sleeves of his jacket, unraveling the ends.

Distantly, he heard Logic speaking. "Roman, could you give us a moment?"

"...Sure. I'll be in my room." After a long pause, Roman left. The silence that followed was brief.

They said at the same time, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Virgil said, frowning at Logic's expression. He was usually so calm, and Virgil could tell he was trying to keep his cool, but there was an undeniable worry in his eyes. Virgil did that. His voice was quiet when he asked, "Are you?"

Logic glanced away. "When I've fused previously, I could sense the others learning from me. But with you- it was different. Intense. Just the physical sensations alone-"

"I didn't mean to make us spiral." Virgil interrupted, placing his hand on Logic's knee. He seemed to appreciate the touch, so Virge scooted closer. "It was Roman- well. Not Roman, but the questions he was asking."

"Oh." Logic blinked, his shoulders relaxing slightly. "Would you prefer different questions?"

"No man, I-" He sighed and said in a rush. "I don't want to be in your study anymore! I don't like being dissected when I just formed a new person and I don't know who I am yet! Don't you think a guy deserves a minute to breathe first?"

Logic stared at him, then slowly corrected his glasses. His voice was odd. "I could wait until a later date? The second fusion?"

"Logan!" Virgil dropped his head, letting it thunk on the side of the couch softly. "I don't want to be in the study. Please."

When Logic didn't respond, he turned his head to gaze up at him. He spoke softly, begging to be understood, "I don't want to scare anyone else."

Logic cleared his throat and mumbled, "Yes, of course, Virgil. I apologize."

"It wasn't your fault." Virgil stood up and offered Logic his hand. "I'm the one with the scary Illness cooties."

Logic huffed a small barely there laugh, and took his hand. As he stood he said, "Still, I'm sure I'll get used to the sensation-"

"Thanks, but." Virgil smiled sadly, "I don't want to be an acquired taste."

Logic's eyes widened and he took a small step back. "I see. So, you don't want to fuse again."

"Well, if it happens, it happens." Virgil shrugged. "But it can't happen like this."

Logic nodded slowly, straightening his shirt and glancing away. "I see. Thank you, Virgil."

And without another word, he left upstairs.

"Mwwr?" Shadow crawled out from under the couch, eyeing Virgil curiously.

"Tell me about it." Virgil said, stooping down to pick up the cat.

There was a knock at Virgil's bedroom door only half an hour later. He opened it to see Logic. He appeared to be in better condition; looking fresh and composed. But he didn't quite meet Virgil's eye.

"Patton called. They'll be home in a moment." Logic said.

"Is it a bad sign or a good one that he felt the need to give us a heads up?" Virgil asked as he followed Logic down the stairs and to the livingroom. He could hear Roman in the kitchen, rummaging around.

Logic shrugged, before responding belatedly, "It may simply be in his nature."

"Yeah." Virgil said awkwardly. Not wanting to stand around Logic and upset either of them further, he decided to find Roman in the kitchen. Logic seemed to agree with that idea, as he stayed in the livingroom alone.

"Hey." Virgil said as he walked up to Roman, desperate for a distraction. "What're you doing?"

Roman looked up from the counter, surprised. Before him was a small tray of fruits, veggies, and cheese that he had been cutting up. Instantly, Roman turned defensive and said, "Taking care of my Sides, what's it look like?"

"It looks like you cut your finger. Twice." Virgil said with a raised eyebrow. Sure enough, Roman had two colorful bandaids on his fingers, one green, the other pink.

Roman held his fingers away from Virgil and muttered, "Don't you diss Cosmo and Wanda."

"What?"

Roman squinted and pointed a finger at him. "What did you do to Logic, in his head? He's acting weird now."

"Nothing, he just needs to decompress. Don't worry about it." Virgil said.

Roman gave him another glare before he turned back to his chopping board. "Well, don't do it again. The last thing we need is a broken Logic. Nothing would ever get done around here."

Virgil snorted and leaned against the counter. He stole a grape and said, "You got that right."

They were quiet for a moment, only the sound of Roman's unsteady chopping filled the air. Then, startling Virgil, Roman asked, "Hey, about what Sam said-"

"Keep in mind, I won't remember much about what happened. I was actively trying to ignore you." Virgil said, Roman frowned a tiny, adorable pout. Virgil gestured for him to continue.

Roman sighed and asked, "Do you think we'll ever be Established?"

For some reason, the question made Virgil's cheeks heat. He looked away and shrugged. When that didn't feel good enough, he crossed his arms and muttered, "I dunno, dude. It's…"

Roman nodded, uncharacteristically thoughtful. "Yeah."

Guilt grew in Virgil's gut. He caused this doubt in Roman, or his fusion did. Virgil tried to think through the right words, the right tone. He hoped he didn't royally fuck this up any further.

"But, you know, we have our entire lives to worry about that, so-"

His amazing speech was cut short by the sound of the front door opening. He heard Patton's voice call out, "Honeys, we're home!"

Roman gasp and practically sprinted out of the room. He shouted as he went, "My friends!"

Virgil took a second to calm his nerves before he followed after. Everyone was gathered by the door. Patton was offering Logic and Roman an exhausted smile, but otherwise he seemed fine. Virgil glanced at Janus, who was silently hanging back.

"Oh gosh, hi guys!" Patton said as Roman squeezed the everloving shit out of him. "It's great to see you too!"

Logic hugged Patton next, although much more gently. Patton carefully side stepped his way towards the stairs and out of the other's reach.

"How was the trip?" Logic asked.

"Oh, fine. Good." Patton said, stopping beside Virgil. He felt Patton's tight grip on his hand. "Uh, no traffic."

"That's good! Are you hungry?" Roman asked, "I made snacks-"

"Aw, thanks Ro! I appreciate the thought, but I really just need to go to my room now." Patton said, pulling Virgil up the stairs with him.

Virge heard Roman ask, "Did something happen?"

And Janus respond, "No. We're just tired. I'm going to bed."

"But, my refreshments-!"

And as Patton's door closed behind him, Virgil caught Janus' frustrated, "Not now, Roman!"

Virgil took a second to unpack all that. He glanced around Patton's room. He had placed stickers on the walls of all sizes and colors. Almost every surface had a stuffed animal or toy on it. In the center laid the fluffiest, softest blue rug Virgil had ever felt. That's where Patton paced now, a stuffed pink walrus in his arms. Pat was mumbling to himself, shaking his head and squeezing the walrus.

Virgil spoke seriously. "Did he hurt you?"

"No, worse." Patton groaned.

Virgil stepped forward, fury growing in his chest. "Worse?"

"He was amazing!" Patton cried, turning to face him. His face was flushed, and he looked distressed, but Virgil realized Patton was safe. He forced himself to relax, rolling his eyes and Patton groaned. "He- he was kind! And! And? Nice!"

Virgil sighed and moved to sit on the bed. He said, "That's great, Patton. I'm glad your visit went by without any problems-"

"It's gotta be a trick." Patton said, dropping his fist into his palm determinedly.

"What."

Patton began to pace again. "It's just- he was too nice. What was he doing …. All that for?" Patton spaced out, his cheeks growing pink.

"Pat?"

He groaned again, biting down on the walrus' head. Virgil watched him stomp his feet for a second, before he asked, "What's wrong with Jan being nice for your family? Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yeah. I don't know. He just-" Patton huffed and stomped to the bed. He threw himself on it next to Virgil, stuffing his face in the teal comforter. Virgil thinks he heard something like "He's surprising", but it could've also been "He's lying", or maybe "cheese crying".

Virgil was growing tired of Pat's dramatics. He nudged his shoulder so Patton would turn his head and look at him.

"Did Janus hurt you?"

"No."

"Did he upset your family?"

"No."

"Did he make you uncomfortable?"

Patton glanced away at that. Virgil gave him his full focus and repeated more sternly, "Patton, did Janus make you uncomfortable?"

Patton pushed himself up quickly, shaking his head. His face was flushed, "No, I liked it!"

Virgil moved so he was leaning his back against the headboard, fully facing Patton. He tried to sound calming as he said, "Then stop worrying about it. Come over here and relax."

He opened his arms, and Patton reluctantly crawled into his lap. Virgil wrapped his arms around him, holding the familiar body close. He closed his eyes and inhaled the sweet smell of Patton's shampoo.

"Can we fuse? I really need Empathy right now." Patton sniffled from his spot by Virgil's chest.

Virgil shook his head, feeling gross and weird. "Sorry, Pat. Not tonight."

"Did something happen?" Patton asked.

"Uh, not really." Virgil didn't want to get into all of that right then. "I just- I'm not in the mood."

"Okay." Patton pouted but curled closer. Virgil relaxed and rubbed Patton's back slowly.

He was certain Empathy wouldn't help either of them right now. Knowing Virgil's luck, he'd cause them to spiral and then two of his Sides would be scared of him. He always thought fusion would be freaky, but not like this. Not in a way that made every fiber of his being feel seen and touched. Worse than that, whoever did the touching clearly didn't like his texture very much. Searching through Logic's mind, pulling up the creepiest, saddest facts he could find, that felt good. But not to Logic. Virgil never felt good to anyone else, he only knew how to take. Virge squeezed Patton closer, stared at the ceiling, and tried to not feel like he was the problem.

Sometimes, when Virgil comes home after work, the house is full of noise. Someone in the kitchen cooking, another in the living room watching TV, and two more arguing upstairs. Virgil grew used to the noise faster than he expected. The others weren't overly loud, just excitable. Lively. Virgil's never had a house that actually felt lived in before.

Today, all the noise was coming from upstairs. He could hear music and laughter, and it made him smile. Virgil's felt off since Sunday. Logic returned to normal, and acted no different around him. But Virge couldn't shake the feeling he messed something up. Patton hasn't asked again to fuse. A part of Virgil wants him to.

Virgil slowly made his way up the stairs. The door to Patton's room was wide open, and Virgil could see inside from his spot on the stairs. The music was definitely coming from there, some annoying pop song. Virgil blinked in confusion when he saw the inhabitants of the room. Patton was there, singing to the music, as he sat on the floor cross-legged. Roman sat behind him, and Logic behind Roman. They were close together. And shirtless.

Virgil blinked again, trying to decipher the scene before him. Patton giggled at something Roman said, and that's when Virgil noticed their hands. Sliding across each other's backs, smooth and slick with lotion. Logic twisted his hand and Roman groaned and leaned back against him. Virgil stood in the hall, utterly bewildered.

"And then I said- oh! Hey Shadow the Hedgehog the Human, enjoying the show?" Roman called as he caught sight of him. Patton twisted around and grinned.

"Virgil! Want to join the massage party?" Patton asked. He held up a bottle of lotion and a cookie. "We have snacks!"

Virgil glanced at Logic, who was smiling in amusement. He picked up his own cookie and raised it in a toast before taking a small bite.

"Yeah, no. Uh… but thanks." Virgil shook his head.

"Yeah, because then you'd have to take off that stupid jacket, right?" Roman said, his tone was teasing, but Virgil didn't like it.

"Exactly." Virgil said, pulling the door closed as he walked off.

Through the door he could hear Patton say, "Oh don't worry about him. He's probably tired from seeing people shirtless all day."

Virgil rolled his eyes and turned to his room. As he moved, he saw a door across the hall open. Janus peered out at him. The music in Patton's room switched to a new song; a deep bass BOOMing rhythmically.

"Loud, aren't they?" Janus said.

Virgil nodded, cautiously watching from across the hall.

Janus opened his door wider. Virgil could see Shadow the Hedgehog the Cat sleeping curled up in the center of his bed. Virgil huffed a small laugh. Shadow always hid around his apartment, and it would be hard to find him sometimes. But now he could almost always be found in someone's room, sleeping soundly.

Virgil walked up to the door, nodding to the cat. "I can grab him."

"He's no bother. We've come to an agreement." Janus said, and Shadow lifted his head to blink at them. Janus hesitated, then added, "You're welcome to join us."

Another loud laugh came from Patton's room. Virgil thought about it for a moment. Janus was already playing music, but at a much quieter volume, and his was some instrumental jazz that made the room feel like a smokey Cafe. The setting sun cast his room in a warm, golden light. Virgil distantly thought the space seemed more homey than his dark cave of a room.

"I promise I'll keep my shirt on." Janus added.

Virgil snorted a laugh, and allowed himself to walk fully into the room. Janus closed the door behind him. Between the walls and Janus' music, the noise of their Sides disappeared. Virgil felt himself relax. Janus didn't have much furniture; but it felt like every time Virgil looked in here there was something new. This time there was a bean bag in the corner he never noticed before. As Janus settled on his bed beside Shadow, Virgil took the bean bag on the floor.

He sat stiffly for a moment, glancing over at Janus. The other Side was silently reading a book, without a care in the world. Virgil tried to see the title, but all he could tell from the cover was a dark scene: a single sword plunged into the ground of a burned down village. He'd never seen the cover before, but it looked interesting and Virgil stared at it, lost in thought.

"Do I have something on my face?" Janus asked. He didn't look up from the book as he turned the page. Virgil felt his ears burn.

"Besides the scar?" He asked, making his voice sound as innocent as possible. That made Janus look at him, scowling over the book.

"Funny." Is all he said.

Virgil felt the air grow thicker. Feeling a little shitty, he tried to change the subject. "What're you reading?"

Janus reached over and pet Shadow, who began to purr. "It's called 'Unnamed', it's by a Negative author. One of her Sides died, so all of her novels discuss loss, solitude, and never being Established. This one takes place in 16th century Japan."

Virgil wasn't sure what to say to that. "Oh."

"I found it in Logic's room." Janus said.

Virgil snorted, "Yeah? On his bookshelf? Does he know you took it?"

Janus shrugged. "I'll return it. I haven't read this one yet."

That made Virgil pause. The words Scrutiny said earlier resurfaced. It was statistically unlikely for their Side group to become Established, because of Janus and Patton's duality. If Janus was a fan of such a depressing author, perhaps he was always preparing for that outcome. Patton acted so weird after they got back from their trip. He was relieved and distressed at the same time. Watching him made Virgil feel dizzy.

Virgil asked, as casually as he could, "How was Patton's family?"

Janus huffed out a tiny laugh. He turned the page and said, "Oh, they're doing lovely. Richard got a promotion this year. And Jenny is taking her family skiing, that will be fun."

Virgil rolled his eyes, "You knew what I meant, asshole."

Janus glanced up at him, smiling close-lipped. "Hm?"

"I noticed you didn't kill Patton." He said, standing up to look at the terrarium on Janus' table. He couldn't see anything but a bunch of rocks. "Congrats."

From behind him, Janus said, "Yes, so you don't have to send your tiny rainbow army after me."

Virgil smiled, imagining Spunk leading her Sides in a charge, armed with brooms and dustpans; each with a different neon hair color. Maybe he could convince Roman to draw that for him. Virgil turned to grin at Janus, "So you are afraid of them."

"I never said that." Janus scoffed.

Virgil stuffed his hands in his jacket pocket and shrugged. "Well, you made Patton happy, that's all I cared about."

Janus seemed surprised to hear that, but he schooled his expression quickly. He looked back to his book and muttered, "It was nothing."

Virgil looked back at the terrarium and said, "Maybe, but Pat said you were Good. So, thanks."

When Virgil moved to sit back down, he saw Janus' very tiny, very pleased smile. And maybe it was just the sunlight from the window, but Virgil thought Jan's cheeks were a pale pink. Shadow's purrs could be heard throughout the room. Virgil pulled out his phone and scrolled through his apps, calmly settling into the bean bag. At last, he felt his mind ease into a peaceful quiet, after the adventures of this weekend settled. Janus' presence was a comfortable addition, and he was glad he agreed to sit with him, instead of alone in his room. Somehow, being here with Janus, made Virgil not mind being voluntarily excluded from the weird, shirtless time the others were having. Virgil didn't want to take part in their massage train, but he didn't want to be alone either. Glancing at Janus, Virgil wondered if he felt the same.

Janus looked up at his stare, always aware of when people are looking at him. Virgil smiled at that. Too often he felt himself relating to Jan and his habits. Janus tentatively smiled back. And together, they listened to a sleepy kitty and soft jazz.

Tell me what you think!