Chapter Thirty-Three:
Fishing Out a Weegee
Two failed scams in a row. Even with Mario helping him, Wario still found his own scams backfiring in his face, and it frustrated the greedy Italian greatly. In fact, that stupid dimwit clad in red and blue may not have been as helpful as Wario hoped he would be. Once they were in a safe spot in the city, away from Koupey, the money-loving criminal glared angrily at Mario.
"All right! That does it!" Wario shouted, "You have one more chance... Otherwise, its back into the chair you go!"
Mario wailed with fear, his hands and knees were shaking, and his lip was quivering. The dimwitted Italian hero did not want to end up back in that chair or in another chair like it. "No, no…" Mario whimpered, "Okie-dokie, Wario. Mario will be okie-dokie..."
He followed Wario past an avenue, and Mario dreadfully prepared himself for when he would be needed to fill the role of his greedy counterpart's scam partner once again. Hopefully, when they were finished with the shady stuff, Wario would allow the spaghetti-loving plumber to go home without any trouble.
'Oh, mama mia, being a scam artist isn't as fun as Wario cracks it up to be.' Mario thought.
Even as he dreaded how the next scam would play out, the fat Italian and his counterpart were soon looking around a waterfront for another scam target. Wario had stolen some binoculars he'd found on a sidewalk, and he'd started to survey the area for anyone they could find.
"Hmm..." Wario pondered aloud, "Who to scam next?"
He spotted Deadpool, the merc with a mouth, laying atop a curtain over a vendor in a suggestive manner. Deadpool waved towards Wario, then he waved at the viewer, breaking the fourth wall as he tended to do whenever he got the chance. Wario dismissed the wacko, then he looked to another area, spotting Ronald McDonald and Barney the Dinosaur going at each other in a Mexican Standoff.
"Too crazy..." Wario dismissed the two of them, seeing they were too busy to care about whatever Wario had in mind to scam them. The greedy Italian then looked down, staring over the edge of the waterfront, and remarked, "Perfect, we can scam Luigi next!"
And as soon as he heard the greedy Italian mention his little brother's name, Mario's eyes lit up with shock. "Luigi?! Where?!" The plumber exclaimed. He grabbed the binoculars from the scam artist and peered through them, spotting Luigi afloat in the river, drenched in sewage and yelping with fear. Mario digested the scene, filled with worry for his younger bro, as well as slight relief to see him.
"HELP MEEEEEEEE!" Luigi shrieked.
'Oh, man.' Mario thought, 'Hang on, Luigi. We'll help you.'
Down in the river, Luigi was feeling dizzy, half-sick, and disoriented from drifting through that dark sewer for who knew how long. His overalls were wet, stained, and his mustache was ruined, even his nose was still aching from the Salmonid bite. At least he was out of the sewer, but how was Luigi going to get out of the water?
'Uhhh, where is Mario...?' The green Italian thought, he was feeling very miserable at this point as he continued to drift through the river. At least he hadn't ended up in a sewer plant, that would have been pretty bad for him.
Just then, someone, something, splashed in the water next to him. Luigi turned, seeing an old man with a rope wrapped around him.
"QUICK!" He heard Mario's voice cry, "GRAB ON!"
The green Italian did so, holding onto the makeshift lifeline hard as he was pulled out of the water. The old man spluttered, saying something unintelligible, and Luigi groaned as he took in the elderly hobo's ramblings. On the bright side, at least he didn't have to be stuck in a river connected to a sewer anymore.
And the next thing Luigi knew, he was finally back on dry land. And, for the first time in a while, he could take in the bright blue sky above. However, the green Italian was still pretty dizzy from the sewer ride. He struggled to stand, but collapsed due to dizziness.
"Hey, bro! I'm so happy you're not dead!" Mario cried happily as he threw himself onto the weary Italian to hug him.
"Th-thanks, but could you please get off me?" Luigi asked.
Just then, Wario came over, wearing an obviously fake nurse's outfit, as he mimicked a hospital ambulance's siren, carrying an unconvincing stretcher and a pair of defibrillators. "Looks like I got here just in time!" 'Nurse' Wario exclaimed as he ran to the weary Luigi, "You need saving!"
"No, I-I'm fine actually, just a bit tired." The green Italian quipped.
"CLEAR!" Wario brought down his defibrillators on Luigi's heart, which wound up shocking Mario's little brother and caused him to cry out in pain. Luigi fell over and protested, but Wario made his move again, and his act nearly burned the wet little Italian brother. Thankfully, Wario grabbed some water and cooled down the timid hero before he burned.
"See? All better!" Wario remarked, "Now that'll be 30,000 coins for my life-saving services."
"I don't have any money on me…" Luigi groaned, feeling dizzier than ever.
'Poor Luigi.' Mario thought, feeling compassion for his little brother.
"YOU FREELOADER?!" Wario shouted furiously, shedding his fake doctor/nurse appearance, "YOU THINK SAVING LIVES IS FREE? IT'S A COSTLY EFFORT, YOU IDIOT! Looks like its back into the water for you, pal!"
Wario grabbed Luigi and, just when he was about to toss him back into the river, Mario, finally fed up with the scam business, stepped in and punched Wario hard enough to make him drop Luigi. Mario glared at his greedy, selfish counterpart furiously, disgusted by his actions. He may have been an "idiot", but Mario had a heart of gold in many areas.
"Go away, Wario!" Mario snapped, "You are just as bad as Waluigi, except he unleashed a T-Pose apocalypse while you just go around scamming people!"
"You dare to betray me, you bastard!" Wario snapped, shaking his fists and gritting his teeth as his temple bulged, "You'd get into a fight just to protect your..."
He stopped short, staring at the angry Mario standing near his tired little brother, and thought about what the plumber had just said. Wario unclenched his fists, his anger soon replaced by a feeling of sorrow.
"Brother…" Wario said in a somber tone, he turned away and began to leave, "You know what, just forget about the whole thing."
He ran off, tears rolling down his cheeks, leaving Mario to take care of his little brother Luigi in peace...