Roman wasn't expecting the light to be shining under Janus' door. He knocked quietly. He didn't want the others to wake up. He heard a quiet noise that he took as a 'come in'.

Janus sat in the middle of his bed, blankets wrapped around him, with Gameboy in hand. Not a Switch, like an old fashioned Gameboy that didn't even have color. Roman caught Janus' disappointed expression and tried to not take it personally. Jan was probably hoping he was Virgil. Those two spooky dudes were the two peas of the pod.

"Come with me." Roman said. "Bring a jacket."

Janus gave him a considering look before he slowly nodded. He slid out from under his blanket cocoon and grabbed a soft looking yellow sweater. Roman led them both across the hall to Logic's room. He knocked on the door but received no answer.

Roman turned the doorknob, wincing when the wood creaked as they walked in. Logic was facing the other direction, his glasses on his night stand. Roman tiptoed up to him and tapped on his shoulder.

"I just got to sleep." Logic's irritated voice came from under the covers. Roman pulled back, suddenly doubting his plan. Logic sat up and turned his glare to him. Roman swallowed thickly. Logic asked, "Apologies. Do you require assistance?"

"Uh." Roman glanced at Janus, who gave him a circular 'go on' gesture with one hand. Roman said, "I have something to show you."

Logic stared at him, face long and eyebags deep. He looked to Janus as well, then back to Roman. At last he said, "Fine. Lead the way."

Roman drove in silence. Janus sat in the passenger seat, tapping his fingers against his leg distractedly. Logic, to Roman's surprise, decided to sit in the back, resting his head against the window. His arms were folded and his eyes closed. Roman kept glancing back at him as he drove. Now that he thought about it, he didn't really interact with Logic this late at night. After dinner, he always holed himself up in his room to do homework. Roman hoped the late hour wasn't enough to ruin his plans.

"What are you doing?" Janus asked in a whisper, leaning across the small car.

Roman didn't have an answer. What the hell was he even doing? He said he wanted time and space, but here he was, dragging his desires away on an adventure. He wanted to make it up to them. And maybe settle some of the tension around them, away from Kyler. He wanted to date them, but he didn't want to just be another Side to them. But his heart ached and moaned for Remy in unexpected ways. He wanted to be a good boyfriend for Logic and Janus. But he couldn't. Not when he was so raw from being tossed aside by Remy. God, he hoped this wasn't a huge mistake.

"Thought I'd show you something." He said in response, barely looking away from the road.

Janus kept glancing over at him, but didn't speak again. They rode in relatively comfortable silence for twenty minutes. The ride was rather nice, actually, since there wasn't anyone else on the roads at this hour. Roman thought he heard a little snore from Logic about halfway through.

When they arrived at his surprise, Roman reached back and brushed his hand against Logic's knee. The other jerked awake, and instantly began to fix his appearance: flattening his hair and smoothing his shirt. Roman felt affection and despair wrestle inside his chest. God, why did he fuck this up?

He glanced at Janus. When Jan said he loved Roman, there weren't butterflies and rainbows. All Roman could think was, 'Oh Gods, he's lying.' And he was! But then he wasn't.

How could they expect Roman to be able to navigate that? His feelings weren't as practiced in the art of pirouette as his body was. He couldn't handle mixed signals like that. Maybe he couldn't even handle stability; he thought he and Remy were going great. Apparently it was all falling apart without him noticing.

Roman must've not meant that much to him if he could be dumped so easily for a Side on the other half of the state. Roman closed his eyes and let out a long, slow exhale. He had to move past this. Or he'd never get Janus and Logic back.

"What is this?" Logic asked, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

Roman opened the door and got out of the car. A moment later, Janus and Logic appeared next to him. They peered out into the dark. Roman got his phone out, shining a light that didn't do much.

"Lake Apopka." Roman said, gesturing to the dark before them. He had set up camp a short walk away from the parking lot. "Follow me."

Logic and Janus turned on their phone lights as well and fell into step beside him. Roman tried to not think about how the two of them were holding hands. Or how he wasn't allowed to reach out for them anymore.

"Look." Roman whispered, trying to not upset the crickets. They stopped and soaked in the shadows.

The water stretched so far, the trees and fancy houses were barely visible on the other side. The few lights shining from the windows of those wealthy enough to live on the shores reflected off the waters. Short ripples of orange and yellow rise and fall with each wave. The rest of the water could almost blend into the night, as inky as the sky was dim. There weren't many stars, which kind of ruined all of Roman's plans, but he couldn't panic. It would be alright, a couple clouds can't ruin his night.

"Cool." Janus said, tilting his head. "Doesn't that sound like a gator?"

Roman hoped not. He didn't need a swamp puppy trying to grab a bite of him. But he had to admit the easy waves and the fireflies were doing their magic.

"We're almost there." Roman said, leading them down a small hill. As they got closer, he could see the soft golden glow of the lights he set up an hour earlier.

Perched as securely as he could a few feet from the water's edge, Roman had set up a white tent-like structure. Its plastic roof and mesh walls would hopefully keep their picnic away from bugs. Roman looped fairy lights around the top and along the inside, providing enough light for them to eat by. Roman heard Logic's small gasp upon seeing it.

Like a beacon in the night, their little camp space was the only visible spot in the dark. Roman hoped it looked more impressive to them than it did to him. But maybe he just wasn't happy with it because he knew it took him twenty-three minutes of struggling to set it up. Roman shifted on his feet, gesturing at it.

"Um. So." Roman lost all his courage. Would he manage to screw this up, too? How would he end up the villain after this? "I thought we could have a fire on the sand. There's snacks and drinks."

They followed him up to the tent. Logic inspected the inside where Roman had stashed pillows, blankets, towels, and a cooler. Janus immediately began inspecting the sand for a good campfire spot. He gathered sticks and logs from around the area, leaving the ones that were too damp.

"You're weirdly good at this." Roman said as Janus had a fire roaring within the next five minutes.

Janus didn't look up from the flames as he shrugged and said, "I like fire."

"Oh! Here." Roman jogged into the tent to grab towels. "We can sit on these."

Logic joined them outside and before long they were sitting together, watching the sticks burn. Their conversations meandered along with little focus. Logic kept looking at him, like he expected Roman to have some speech or something. But Roman couldn't think of anything to say. "I'm sorry" didn't feel right. He was sorry for hurting Janus. But he couldn't help but feel like he was the one that should be apologized to. Roman was just dumped and then the liar of the group was the only one to show him affection - he was in a shaky spot! That wasn't his fault!

But Roman didn't say any of that. He didn't say anything serious at all. He kept his comments light and the topics easy. Roman didn't want to fix anything right now. He just wanted to sit together and pretend everything was still okay.

"What's that sound?" Logic asked.

Roman followed his line of sight out to the water. The clouds from earlier had gathered thicker over the horizon. Roman already knew what the answer would be before he even heard the noise himself.

"That's rain." Janus said, holding his hands out. "It's raining."

Roman sounded unsure, "Maybe it won't get worse?"

But as he said it, he could hear the raindrops getting thicker. He felt a line of cold water roll down his forehead. The drops became more and more noticeable until there was only rain.

Logic grabbed his hand, and the warmth of his skin startled Roman. Logic pulled away, but easily said, "We should take shelter."

The three moved from their spots in the sand to under the glowing canopy. The campfire sizzled out, leaving them with a smokey lump of wet logs.

Roman felt like it was a great metaphor for his love life.

"At least you had this tarp thing." Janus said, running a hand over the mesh walling.

Roman shrugged, trying to not feel bitter. He said, "I don't like bugs."

"That was very prepared of you." Logic said, a funny rise in his voice that made Roman's cheeks warm.

Roman looked out at the rain and said, "I just didn't want mosquitoes to ruin our night."

"No, the rain did that." Janus said, although he didn't sound too upset about it. Sometimes he sounded a tad too much like Logic; just a smidgen too monotone for Roman's liking.

Roman felt his heart sink. He knew a stupid picnic wouldn't be enough for the even stupider mess he made.

"I'm having fun." Logic's voice sounded hesitant. Roman looked behind him to see Logic staring out at the rain, a faint smile on his face. He met Roman's gaze and added, "And I see your effort."

Roman felt a weight lift off his shoulders. Logic sat down on the dry towels and patted the spot next to him. Roman slowly sat down, keeping a foot between them. Janus watched them for a moment before he moved to sit on Logic's other side. Janus leaned his head on Logic's shoulder. Roman was once again struck by the understanding of what he had lost.

"What food did you bring?" Logic asked.

Roman mentally thanked him for keeping him focused. He pulled the cooler closer to them and opened it up.

"Here's drinks," Roman said. He pulled out a water bottle for Logic and a lemon soda for Janus. He set his own ice tea aside and shuffled through the snacks.

"So I have strawberries, of course. Um, I made these little sandwiches but they're kind of lame so we don't have to-"

Logic leaned close and peered into the cooler. He smiled and said "Roman, these look perfect."

Roman watched Logic hand a sandwich to Janus and the two of them bonk their wrapped treats together in a toast. Although it was raining, it wasn't cold. They could sit and watch the raindrops dance across the lake's surface until they grew too tired.

Roman felt his chest warm and he could only hope he had inched closer to forgiveness.

"Yeah." He said quietly. "It is."

Logic drove on the way back home, which Roman didn't mind. It gave him an excuse to watch Logic when he couldn't look back. Janus sat in the back seat, humming quietly. Roman could see the exhaustion setting in, as Janus' blinks became slower. It was, frankly, adorable. And rather unfair. How was Roman supposed to handle such cuteness when he wasn't even allowed to enjoy it?

"How do we feel about Kyler?" Roman asked, filling the easy silence. "Like. Do we think he's, uh, permanent?"

He pulled at his seat belt, letting it hit against his chest rhythmically. Logic thought about the question.

He said as he adjusted his glasses, "Well, he's certainly a very stable Fusion. They don't fall apart because of their emotions, like I was expecting."

"That would be counter-intuitive." Janus said from the back seat. "If the emotions can't handle being emotional. No, he's sticking around. It's already been fucking forever."

Logic said with a slight frown, "He's not a bad Fusion. And he doesn't cause much harm, aside from there being one less tattoo artist in town."

"I didn't say any of that." Janus grumbled.

Roman said, "I think he's sick."

Logic looked at him, "Why?"

"Because he always has this pasty look and he's constantly tired." Roman said.

Janus shook his head, "He's not sick, he gets nightmares."

"About what?" Roman asked.

There was a long pause. Logic didn't have an answer. But the more Roman thought about his own nightmares, the more he realized. Maybe Virgil's memories of Remus could leak through, with a Fusion as emotionally connected as Kyler. Janus must have the same thought, because he touches Roman's shoulder. Roman reaches up to hold the firm hand there.

"Do you ever think about- the forest?" Janus asked.

Roman nodded, looking over his shoulder at him. They shared an emotion in the air, something mentally transmitted, a secret language only their eyes knew.

"Kyler wouldn't survive that swamp." Roman muttered.

"I don't think it would be the same." Janus said. "But if I had to guess, that's what I'd have nightmares over."

He leaned back again and Roman lost contact with the hand.

Logic spoke up then, "Are we discussing Mitoneuraloneiros?"

"Huh?" Roman blinked at him.

"The process of having an internal headspace of subconscious awareness within a Fusion." Logic said, "It typically manifests as some form of room or building, but could be anything, really."

"You mean like the head mansion thing in Sherlock?" Roman asked.

Logic nodded with a small smile. Roman felt his chest light up. He got to see Logic's smiles again!

"Exactly. More than 80% of Fusions claim they experience some form of mental safe space where the Sides are kept, so to speak. Obviously that's not the neurological explanation, but I'm attempting to explain this in a way you can process."

"Thank you." Roman said sincerely.

Janus asked, "So that's why all three of us think of a swamp when we think of Remus? That's where he decided to trap us?"

"Yes, but," Logic sounded hesitant, "Most Sides have stated they don't remember or recognize being inside this headspace. If it does happen, you may not even be conscious for it."

Janus shook his head, looking out the window.

"Have you felt anything for Innovative?" Logic asked.

Roman shook his head. "Not that I remember."

"Perhaps that's what Kyler's nightmares are about." Logic said.

Roman snorted, "I doubt Kyler has a swamp between his ears."

"No, but still…" Logic trailed off. He shook his head and said, "Regardless, it doesn't matter how long Kyler sticks around. We'll be able to do the Establishment ceremony with him if we must."

"God, please, no." Roman muttered. Then he added, "Nothing against Kyler! It's just-"

"He's not them." Janus said, sounding very tired. "He's just not."

"He isn't trying to be." Logic said. "Kyler hasn't done anything to deserve distrust."

Roman looked over his shoulder to Janus. They both made little expressions. No, there wasn't really anything wrong with Kyler.

He just wasn't Patton and Virge. And the longer Kyler existed, the more Roman missed his components. Was that normal? Roman had no idea.

Logic slowed the car as they pulled onto their street. The night was still dark, but the streetlights provided enough light to see fine. Roman opened his mouth to respond, but he couldn't find the right words.

The front door (new and improved after the whole Remus fiasco), flung open as they pulled into the driveway. Patton ran out onto the porch, holding his mouth with both hands. Roman was out of the car before Logic had finished parking.

"Are you okay?!" Roman called as he ran up to the porch. Patton looked at him with wide eyes.

He dropped his hands, shaking them, and said, "Ew ew ew ew!"

Roman gathered he was unharmed and moved to look inside. Just a few feet from the front door, on the livingroom floor, Virgil was attempting to wrestle a mouse out of Shadow's jaws.

Janus appeared by Roman's side. He said, "Kyler unfused. Because of the mouse?"

Patton squeaked, voice watery, "It's dead."

"Oh." Roman looked back at the growling duo inside. Then, it clicked, and he looked back to Patton. He was trying to choke back tears. Because Kyler is Empathy. And Empathy saw- "Oh! Oh, baby!"

He walked back across the porch, arms open. Patton ran to his embrace, hiding his face in Roman's shoulder.

"It's okay! It's the circle of life!" Roman said, petting Patton's hair. Out of all of them, Patton probably has the hair most similar to Roman's, just a little longer and softer. He clearly doesn't use any products in it to keep it styled. Roman likes that about Patton; how he manages to be adorable without putting in any effort.

Patton shook his head, holding Roman tighter. "He was so small!"

"Virge got it." Janus' voice said from behind them. Roman looked over his shoulder. Janus' expression was hard, guarded, and for a moment Roman worried he was mad at him again. But Janus wasn't looking at him at all. He was looking in the house at Virgil. And then down at Patton. Realization hit Roman then, that they were back. Patton and Virgil were back. He pressed his nose against Pat's hair and held him a little tighter.

Virgil came rushing out of the house, hands clamped together over what must be the dead critter. Roman saw the opportunity, and led Patton back inside while Virgil crouched near some bushes.

Janus followed behind them, closing the door. Patton was still sniffling, but his shaking had stopped. Roman led him to the couch where he sat down and ran his hands through his hair. Roman rubbed Pat's back and glanced at Janus.

Shadow was weaving herself in between Janus' legs, back and forth, purring loudly. Even though her treat was stolen by Virgil, she still was proud of her catch. Roman's mom had cats, he knew the lingo.

Janus however, didn't seem to understand. He kept trying to back up while she kept trying to trip him. He grumbled down at the cat before finally picking her up entirely. After a few seconds he figured out how to hold a cat. Roman was so proud.

Janus gave Shadow a few head pats. Shadow batted at his fingers, which made Janus smile.

"Why are cute things so violent?" Patton asked. Roman followed his gaze to see he was also watching Shadow.

"It's not the kitty's fault that food is other animals." Roman said. "That's just how the world works."

Patton sighed and leaned against Roman again. They sat in silence, cuddling and watching Janus.

Logic and Virgil entered a moment later and headed straight to the bathroom to wash their hands. When they returned, Virgil glanced around, wiping his hands on his dark jeans.

He said, "Yeah, so, Kyler didn't like that."

"Fascinating." Logic said.

"No, it really wasn't." Patton mumbled against Roman's chest.

Janus asked, "So, Kyler always stick around that long?"

"Like we knew he was a perma, but that was, like, a lot." Roman added. He quickly backtracked when he realized how he sounded, "I mean, he's always welcome and everything-"

Virgil spoke, silencing Roman with just a glance. "I don't know. I mean. He stays until he wants to leave I guess."

"I guess." Patton repeated. Roman began to rub his back again.

Logic walked over to the couch to sit near them. He asked, "You don't remember?"

Patton and Virgil shared a long, silent look. Roman glanced at Janus. Janus glanced at Roman. The quiet lingered a tad too long before Virgil shook his head.

"I got nothing." He said. He crossed his arms, eyes on Shadow. She was still purring, blissfully unaware of the conversation around her. "I mean. I know Kyler went to work."

"For a few weeks?" Patton said, sitting up slowly.

"But that would mean…" Virgil pulled out his phone. They watched as he thumbed through the screens. He glanced up at Janus, like, three times. Chewing his lip, he muttered, "Fuck."

"Are you alright?" Logic asked.

"I missed stuff." Virgil said, glancing at Janus again. "Big stuff."

"I'm sure it's fine." Janus said, suddenly very interested in Shadow.

Virgil shrugged, looking down at his phone again. "Maybe. But. I, uh. Also have to visit my family."

"Really?" Patton smiled, "Oh, that would be so nice!"

Virgil shook his head, "No, no, it wouldn't." He sighed and then added, "It's my little sister's birthday. God, do I need a gift?"

"That is the custom." Logic said.

"Fuck." Virgil rubbed his face. "Shit."

"What's the big deal?" Roman asked. "My dad's a dick and Patton grew up in a cult. They can't be that bad."

Virgil shook his head. He glanced at Janus. Then to Logic. Then to Janus again. Finally, Virgil asked, "Logan, can you come with me?"

Logic blinked in surprise. "Of course. I'll find room in my schedule."

Virgil flinched and glanced at Janus once more, before he nodded and muttered. "Thanks."

"We could all go?" Patton asked, clearly also seeing the glancing. "If that's your concern?"

"No, less is better." Virgil scratched his face. He looked exhausted between his baggy eyes and his sunken shoulders. "It'll be alright. I'll, um. Call my mom later. Tell her I've not existed for the past month- fuck!"

Virgil turned and started walking to the stairs. Janus watched him as he passed and Roman thought he was going to follow after him. But Jan stayed rooted to the spot. Shadow hopped out of Janus' arms and trotted up the stairs.

"Patton, are you okay?" Logic asked.

"So tired." Patton mumbled, his eyes closed.

Roman pulled Patton closer and did his best impression of a pillow. Janus hesitated, glancing over at them, before he went up the stairs as well. Roman wondered when they would see Empathy again next. And what it would take to split him apart again.

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