Chapter 15
The teamwork was getting worse again.
Naruto was acting like a little shit. Sasuke was acting like a smug little shit. Sakura was currently Kakashi's favourite, all because of her blessed silence.
Sakura was a good pup.
Naruto meanwhile was messing up every mission he was on. All because he kept trying to impress Sasuke and show him what a tough Alpha he was. Sasuke who was clearly not interested in listening at the moment and wanted to sulk in a corner, or insult Naruto and Sakura.
Kakashi wanted to shock them all, but Kurenai insisted that wouldn't help, he'd probably just injure them soon. Izumi helpfully reminded him he could dangle them all from trees, and once again Kurenai said that wouldn't help. She insisted he sat them down to talk. Okay, sure, he might be losing his grip on his temper, but it wasn't entirely his fault. Not really Mr. Kidnapper's either. Oh no, it was all the bloody council's fault.
He still hadn't reported his results to them, and it had been over a month since he had been rescued by everyone. They kept asking, but Kakashi was being evasive. He was determined to look the picture of health in front of them just to mess with them.
Yeah, he was feeling a bit spiteful at the moment.
In fact, he was feeling so spiteful that he was telling everyone but the council first. Hopefully that riled them up, the bastards.
"Right," Kakashi drawled. "Well, I think I finally better tell you three some important news."
They had been walking along, getting ready for the next mission, but Kakashi stopped them outside a restaurant with outdoor seating.
"Take a seat, I'll grab some drinks," Kakashi said.
The pups made confused noises but Kakashi ignored them. He went and bought some teas and handed one to each pup, before sitting across from them.
"Well, you know I was captured just over a month ago," Kakashi reminded them.
"Yeah, by that strong Alpha!" Naruto shot to his feet, fists up. "Did he come back? Get out here! I'll kick your ass!"
"No," Kakashi sighed, grabbing the back of Naruto's shirt when the pup threatened to charge off aimlessly. "He's not back. But he left me with something..."
Sakura got it first. She gasped, cheeks flushed, while Sasuke blinked at her for the reaction. She whispered in his ear, all while Naruto stared at Kakashi, eyes narrowed, studying him closely. It took Sasuke a moment to catch on, and he began downing his tea like it was a shot of alcohol.
That was a worrying reaction.
"Left you with something?" Naruto blinked then wailed, gripping his hair in panic. "An injury? Is it life threatening? Are you dying?!"
"No!" Kakashi scowled.
"Naruto!" Sakura huffed. "Haven't you noticed? Kakashi Sensei has been sick, his moods keep changing, he's back and forth when it comes to bathroom breaks and he always tired, all after he spent his heat with an Alpha. So that means..." Sakura raised a brow expectantly.
"That Alpha injured him badly?" Naruto offered, throwing Kakashi worried looks. "Which we have to fix?"
"By the Sage..." Sasuke groaned. "I managed to get it after Sakura's hint, yet you can't?"
"I'm pregnant, Naruto," Kakashi said blankly, hoping he was not about to have to explain sex.
Otherwise he was dumping Naruto on Iruka.
"Oh, right!" Naruto laughed in relief. "You aren't injured then, you're just pregnant. That's such a relief..."
Naruto froze on the spot, eyes wide, and Kakashi gleefully watched the freak out happen.
"WHAT?!" Naruto screeched. "YOU'VE GOT A BABY?"
"You might want to say that a bit louder, idiot." Sasuke rubbed his ear, wincing. "I don't think they heard you in the Sand Village."
Naruto was for once too shocked to actually care about the insult. Huh. That was unusual, but very much appreciated.
"I..." Sakura hesitated. "Are you alright, Kakashi Sensei? With all this?"
"No need to worry," Kakahsi reassured, his mental health was not something he was going to burden the pups with. "I'm perfectly fine. The main problem is going to be training and missions. My pregnancy right now is in the early stages, so my hormones are a mess. I'm going to be suffering from nausea for a while, and I'll probably be exhausted and cranky all the time."
"So you're retiring?" Naruto shook his head. "Please don't! We might get Izumi back and she's terrifying! She's robbed me so many times..."
"Robbed you?" Kakashi blinked. "And no! I'm not retiring. I just have to try take it easy, so our missions might not be intense for a while-"
Naruto sobbed. "That's so not fair."
Yeah, well, if the council hadn't fucked with his contraception pills none of them would be in this mess. He could have had fun sex with Mr. Kidnapper once a month and not worry about babies. Now he had one growing inside him with a father Kakashi had to name. Maybe he should call the baby 'Mr. Baby', to match their father's name, or 'Miss Baby'.
"Get over yourself, Naruto!" Sakura smacked his head. "We can get some more experience this way."
"Yeah, might even be a good time for you to hit the scrolls, Naruto." Sasuke smirked. "You might finally be able to start understanding some of the things we say."
"You guys just go too fast! Normal people can't keep up."
"I'm from a normal family, Naruto." Sakura scowled, crossing her arms. "And I can keep up perfectly fine."
Kakashi sighed. "You all could use a lot of work to be honest. Each of you brings something to the team, but each of you also has a downside. You were created as a combat team, the same as Guy's-"
"Who is this 'Guy' anyway?" Naruto tilted his head.
"My rival."
"You have a rival, Kakashi Sensei?" Sakura startled.
"Yeah, just as you with Ino, and Naruto and Sasuke with each other." Kakashi smiled. "Guy and I are on much friendlier terms though."
"You said a combat team too," Sakura pointed out. "What does that mean?"
"Kurenai's Team have a tracking speciality, while Asuma's specialises in stalling enemies and gathering information-"
"Choji is good for information gathering?" Sakura didn't look impressed. "And Shikamaru is the laziest guy I've ever met! And don't even get me started on Ino-"
"The team Ino-Shika-Cho has been around for quite a few generations now," Kakashi revealed. "Their Clans are close, especially Shikamaru's and Choji's. No Hokage in their right mind would ever split up those three. But you're right. Choji isn't there to gather information, that Ino's job. Choji is there to protect his teammates by taking the heavy hitters out, while Shikamaru is the brains behind the operations."
"Now," Kakashi continued. "This team is full of heavy hitters, well, apart from you, Sakura, but your chakra control might enable you to become one someday. Guy's team is the same way. It's full of taijutsu and weapon specialists. Your teams have been designed in mind with these attributes."
"You want me to be a heavy hitter?" Sakura said blankly. "Me?"
"You have the potential for it, but it will take a lot of time to develop. It was why Izumi was working on taijutsu with you, although, since she's rather relentless, she didn't start you on basic body strengthening first. That was probably Guy's fault, he was the one who trained her after all."
"He's her teacher too?"
"Sort of. It was never an official student mentor relationship, not like the one Guy has with his genin, but he helped her improve her taijutsu."
Sasuke grimaced. "She calls Guy a lunatic."
Kakashi nodded sheepishly. "Sounds about right."
"Kakashi!"
He paused, and winced when Raido and Genma, the Third's elite guards, dropped down beside him. The pair looked rough, branches, leaves and dirt stuck to their uniforms, and they were giving him such evil eyes.
It took them a while to finally find the real him. They must have kept finding the shadow clones.
"Hello, Raido, Genma," Kakashi greeted cheerfully. "You two look serious."
Genma sighed. "You were ordered to go get a pregnancy test done by Lord Hokage, but you never reported to the hospital. He even waited for you at your appointment before sending us out to escort you there."
"To be fair, I was never told exactly when to go," Kakashi said, smiling sweetly.
"Don't give us that bullshit. You've been leading us in circles for hours!" Raido held out Pakkun, who whined.
"They caught me."
"Oh my, so they did," Kakashi teased, taking Pakkun back into his arms.
Okay, yes, he was being mean. But the council started it. Yesterday the Hokage had called him out and told him to report to the hospital for a pregnancy test that next morning. So obviously Kakashi had no choice but to give his scent to each of his hounds, create a few shadow clones, and let them run loose across Konoha while he told everyone but the council that he was pregnant.
Yes, he was being petty.
"Have you been with your genin this whole time?" Raido groaned. "Kakashi, you had us running after your tracks for hours! Just so you could avoid a pregnancy test?"
"Avoid it?" Sakura blinked. "But he's already taken it."
Raido twitched. "Excuse me?"
"Yeah! He told us the news too." Naruto nodded.
"I was just telling everyone my test results before the council." Kakashi grinned wolfishly, fishing out the stick from his pocket, the tip sealed by its cap. He gleefully showed it to the pair. "Here you go."
"How long have you had that for?" Genma sighed.
"Almost a week now."
"You're the worst. Give it here." Raido reached out, but Kakashi withheld it.
"What's the magic word?" Kakashi tilted his head.
Raido looked about ready to strangle him. "Why are you like this?"
"I take my pleasures where I can get them," Kakashi admitted. "Now?"
"Please can I have your pregnancy test?" Raido drawled out slowly, pronouncing every single word deliberately.
"Of course." Kakashi kept up his sweet smile as he handed it over. "See how easy that was?"
"I'm going to kill him one day," Genma groaned.
"He's such a troll."
The pair left, probably to go complain to the Hokage about how much of an ass Kakashi was. He almost cackled at the thought.
"It really isn't just us you mess with, huh?" Sakura said dryly.
"I mess with a lot of people." Kakashi grinned. "Actually, you three probably get it the easiest."
"Huh." Sasuke blinked. "Well, thanks for that."
"Thanks?" Naruto gasped. "Why would you thank him? He's still always hours late!"
"At least he doesn't rob us..." Sakura groaned. "Izumi-san took most of my money..."
Yeah, the fact Izumi was robbing his students was a little worrying.