Chapter 6: Crashing Down

The two of them made it to the second site smoothly, despite Ed's irritation at the drive being too short for him to get some decent rest in. Of course, he didn't mention that to Al, who was still looking at him like he was a string hanging by its last thread. He'd get proper rest when he got back to the house anyways…at least…he hoped he would.

The second drain went about as smoothly as the first had, and luckily none of the workers seemed to bother with asking Ed about his bruise. They had better things to worry about than a random kid with a random bruise.

Ed was just grateful to be out of the house doing something again. Revamping the drain system would help the streets of Central out, and it was simple work. Especially since they'd already done one of them. Nothing like honest work to make him feel better, feel like he mattered and was doing something worthwhile.

Ed shook his head and continued with the transmutations he was in the middle of. He didn't have time to think about his worth; he couldn't afford to let Hohenheim get into his head that easily, though he noticed it was getting easier and easier each time for his harsh words to creep into his thoughts.

Taking a deep breath and grinning to himself, Ed double-checked the transmutations he'd completed. Everything seemed to be in order, and he was relieved that his stomach was still giving him some peace. It had to have just been a morning bug, or something he ate.

"What do you think Al?" Ed asked, kneeling in front of the last pillar he'd reconstructed. "Looking good or what?"

Al chuckled at that, "It looks exactly like the last few we've done."

"Yeah, yeah, but it looks steady? Mustang would have my head if I did the transmutation wrong," Ed huffed.

"It looks fine brother…" Al said carefully, unsure as to why Ed was needing the reassurance all of a sudden. His brother was always so confident in his skills, even a little egotistical at times, and never seemed to think twice about a transmutation he'd done, simply because he knew he had done it right.

Why were things different now?

Why was he questioning his skills, especially for something this simple?

Al sighed and watched as his brother went over the pillar once more, triple-checking his flawless work.

Ed could tell Al was looking at him strangely without having to turn around. He knew he probably tripped up when asking for Al's opinion, but he couldn't risk messing this up and getting more people hurt. Not like how he'd hurt Al…and his mother.

Eyes widening, Edward shook his head quickly to diminish the thought.

"What's wrong?" Al's voice piped up again and Ed steeled himself to be able to lie away what he was really thinking.

Pushing himself off his knees, Ed turned to face his brother and explain things, when his vision grew hazy and he felt himself stagger to the side.

Sturdy leather hands gripped his arm tightly and kept him upright, albeit a little too tightly for comfort.

"Ed?! Ed are you ok? What happened?"

Ed blinked a few times, his vision clearing and the small wave of dizziness subsiding almost immediately.

Weird.

"I'm fine Al, sorry to worry you. I think I just stood up too fast," Ed chuckled nervously. "Must still be kinda drained from yesterday."

If Al could have scowled at Ed, he would have. Though he was fairly certain Ed knew exactly the expression he was intending to make, considering the way he squirmed uneasily in Al's grip.

"I don't know brother, I think we should head home and finish the rest of the job tomorrow. Mustang would understand-"

"No!"

Ed's voice grew shrill and he winced at the urgency of his response.

"No, it's ok. I feel fine, just a little tired. We'll finish the drains and then we can take it easy, I mean come on Al, I can handle a few measly transmutations."

Going home early would disrupt Hohenheim, who wasn't expecting them until later.

Going home early meant he wasn't good enough to do simple tasks.

Going home early meant everything Hohenheim had said was true.

Going home early meant he was a failure.

Al sighed, defeated. "Fine, but you had better be careful Ed; I'm serious!"

Ed chuckled and pushed Al's hands away from his arms. "I know, I know. I'll be careful."

The dizziness had faded, thankfully, and Ed was able to make his way out of the tunnel on his own, though he knew Al was anxiously anticipating the opposite considering he was trailing very, very, close behind Ed and watching him intensely.

The pair said their farewells to the workers and explained what they had done before heading back to the car to make it to their next stop.

Clambering back into the tight and semi-uncomfortable seats, the brothers were on their way to the next site.

Ed knew he was tired, but as soon as he sat down his legs all but melted underneath him and he could feel his body sing his praises. He wasn't sure why he was so worn out; sure, things had been rough - the past few days especially so – but his stomach wasn't hurting anymore, and he hadn't done much other than a few simple transmutations.

Leaning back into the seat and closing his eyes, Ed sighed softly to himself. Maybe he was getting sick, though he severely hoped that wasn't the case. Hohenheim wouldn't give him a break no matter how he was feeling.

Although, Ed wasn't sure about things on that end anymore either. Was Hohenheim finally going to start being an actual father? Was he going to stop treating Ed how he had been?

Ed about scoffed to himself at the thought. He doubted Hohenheim would just up and change that drastically after these past few months, but hopefully he wouldn't get physical with him ever again.

Ed dearly hoped that would be the case, his hand instinctively coming up to gently feel the area around his eye where it was still slightly swollen and sore. Ed had seen and faced many things in the life of a State Alchemist, but even the craziest rouge alchemists had nothing on the sheer terror Hohenheim could somehow manage to stir up in Ed's chest.

Maybe it was because Ed still instinctively looked up to him as a father.

Maybe it was because Ed had so desperately hoped that things would be different this time, and that Hohenheim coming back would be a blessing in disguise.

Maybe it was because his words always cut deep, leaving nasty trails and marks that Ed didn't think he'd ever be rid of.

Not that it mattered, Ed thought harshly. No matter what the explanation behind it was, nothing could expunge the fact that Hohenheim scared the living daylights out of him, and that if Ed ended up coming down with something, the price would be steep.

Besides, if Hohenheim was still wanting Ed to pitch in on rent, Ed needed to actually show up and make an effort.

While the military provided him funding, and Ed didn't have to show up every day to get sufficient earnings, he wouldn't feel right sitting idly and using the Military's money without working for it. Especially not after everything Hohenheim had instilled in him.

It's amazing what a few months can do, huh? Ed shook his head idly at the thought, though he knew no amount of thinking that would change anything.

A light tap on Ed's arm brought him out of his thoughts, and he realized that the car had stopped and the passing scenery ceased to be blurred. Al was watching him expectantly, waiting for Ed to help him with opening the door so he could squeeze back out of the vehicle.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Al asked curiously, "You were lost in thought the entire ride over here."

"Eh, just alchemy stuff. Trying to figure out where the next lead could be, and what our next steps should be after this job," Ed said with a shrug. It wasn't a complete lie, that was always something that lingered at the back of his mind, ever-present and ever-important.

Although… he may not have been actively thinking about it.

…not that Al needed to know that.

"I appreciate you thinking of that brother, but you should just take things one step at a time for now. You're still recovering, and clearly need some more sleep before you start thinking ahead to stuff like that." Al remarked.

Ed simply rolled his eyes at that, not wanting to admit how spot-on Al was. Not that that was ever unusual of course. Al was usually right on target, which is partly why Ed took a small hint of pride and satisfaction at having been able to keep his and Hohenheim's…dealings…under wraps.

What Al didn't know wouldn't hurt him, Ed had convinced himself. Quite literally, in fact, seeing as how Al not knowing about what was going on was protecting him from Hohenheim's rage.

Ed yawned as he strode up to the man in charge of the current operations at this site. There weren't many people here, most being centered at the other two sites. Ed predicted that the next two after this would have even smaller numbers.

"Ah, you must be the Fullmetal Alchemist, we're really grateful to have you here helping us," the lead man said with a grin, arm extended in greeting.

Al sheepishly glanced at the hand extended to him, taking it gently.

"We're happy to help sir, but uh…I'm not the State Alchemist, that'd be my brother."

The man peered around Al to where Ed was standing to his side, slightly fuming. Al was concerned to see that Ed wasn't nearly as fired up at the common occurrence as he usually would be.

The list of peculiar things just kept growing and growing, along with the unease that was pooling in Al's stomach. If he had one of course.

"Oh dear, I'm terribly sorry, I just thought a State Alchemist would be…" the man trailed off with a quiet cough from Al. Ed knew where the man was headed, but couldn't be bothered to pester him about it. Sure he'd usually be biting the man's head off, and sure Al would grow suspicious from his lack of response, but the wave of exhaustion that was riding over him kept him from caring too much about it.

"Well that's beside the point, I take it you'd want to see where you're helping?" The man grinned in an attempt to make peace and led the two boys to their job site. Ed knelt down to inspect the pillar, wincing as his knees buckled slightly halfway down and he more fell onto them than laid onto them.

Al watched as his brother ran shaky hands over the material, and sighed to himself. It was just like Ed to run himself to the ground over work and other people's expectations, but that didn't make it any easier to see and deal with.

Al perked up as Ed took a deep breath, and clapped his hands together, starting the transmutation. The earth rumbled below them as the stone was rearranged amongst flashes of blue light.

Though, it didn't seem to be going as smoothly as it had before. At several moments the stone would rearrange itself only to be pulled back again, as if it hadn't gone where it was intended. It also didn't seem to be happening nearly as quickly as the last two had been, or as quickly as transmutations usually went for him.

After a few solid minutes the process was done, and Ed was left kneeling in front of the newly constructed pillar. Alchemic lines stretched across the surface, more so than they usually would as a result of the constant changing that had happened during the process.

Meanwhile, Ed was struggling to catch his breath. He felt shaky and lightheaded, and couldn't help but notice the beads of sweat that trickled down his forehead. Alchemic work wasn't easy, but by all means, it never took this much out of him.

Placing his hands on his knees, he leaned forward and rested his head against the cool stone, taking a few deep breaths to get himself situated. He closed his eyes slightly, listening to the creaking of metal as Al knelt beside him. A thick leather hand was placed against his back, and Ed sighed at the contact.

"Are you ok Ed?"

Ed sighed, nodding slowly.

"I'm just tired Al," he muttered, feeling defeated. Tired was an understatement, but it wasn't completely incorrect.

Ed was tired, tired from the physical effort, tired of putting up with Hohenheim, tired of things not being ok.

"Do you want to call Mustang and tell him we'll finish the rest tomorrow?" Al questioned. "I think a rest would do you good, and there's no hurry on this."

Ed groaned at the thought of calling Mustang; he already knew exactly what he was going to say.

"I told you you needed to go home and get more rest, Fullmetal."

"So you called after all huh? I knew you wouldn't be up for the full job."

"You shouldn't have taken this if you weren't feeling well, what did I tell you about taking care of your health first?"

"You should have told me upfront you weren't feeling 100%, now all you've done is waste my time."

"Ed?"

Ed jolted out of his inner dialogue with Mustang and glanced up at Al, who was rubbing soft circles on his back.

"Sorry, just got thinking. I'll be ok, we're more than halfway done and I don't want to put this off for another day," he explained.

Al sighed, but nodded slowly, understanding where Ed was coming from. While he wished his brother would take things easy and go home, he knew he wouldn't, and the best thing for him to do was support Ed in any way he could and make sure he didn't get hurt.

Al stood, extending an arm to Ed who took it with a soft smile of thanks. He stood slowly on shaky knees, wincing as his body swayed slightly at the movement. Al simply placed a hand around his shoulder, steadily helping him along.

Normally, Ed would have shrugged off the contact and insisted he was fine, making a point to be as ok as humanly possible.

But normally, Ed wouldn't have to be suffering from everything life was currently throwing at him. Besides, Al's presence of kindness was comforting, and made things seem a little bit better. That paired with Roger's prior extension of help made Ed realize that maybe it was ok sometimes to not be ok.

Maybe.

The two of them got in the car, and rode off to their next destination. Al watched as Ed attempted to fall asleep yet again, and contemplated asking him a few things to clarify some of his worries.

"Ed?"

"Yeah Al?"

"Do…do you want anything in particular for dinner tonight?"

Ed cracked an eye open and looked at Al skeptically, before closing it and humming to himself.

"Let's do pasta."

Al chuckled lightly at the blatant response, guilt still bubbling up inside him at his lack of courage. He had meant to ask about what was going on, what Ed was keeping from him.

Clearly, he was extremely successful in that regard.

Way to go Al, he thought bitterly to himself.

The car slid to a stop at the fourth construction site, and the brothers stepped out and began making their way over.

Word had clearly spread that Ed was doing this job, as this site had a large number of workers eager to watch the alchemist at work.

Typically, Ed would love the chance to show off his skills in front of the people of Central and boost his ego. But at the moment, all he wanted was to get this job over with, so he could move on to the next one and then get some decent sleep.

Sure, he wasn't looking forward to returning home, but he was looking forward to climbing into his bed and getting comfortable.

Ed quickly said his hellos and let Al do most of the talking, not bothering to correct the guy when he mistook Al for him. Within a few minutes, the two of them were headed into the drain system.

The water had hit this one the hardest, and sharp pieces of stone were scattered across the floor where the waves of water had broken them off the pillars themselves. The main pillar was in shambles, and it was a miracle it was supporting the tunnel itself at all. Heavy metal beams arched across the walls and ceiling, seemingly supporting the weaker areas that the pillars couldn't manage.

"Are you sure you're going to be ok for this one brother?" Al asked, looking around at the destruction. "This is a lot more than that last one, and I don't know if it would be safe to try and transmute it all given the state you're in."

"It's alright Al, we're almost done and I just want to get it over with. We came all this way out here anyway."

With that, Ed crouched down to inspect where he'd be starting the process, only for his knees to give in and send him harshly kneeling on the floor, thick fog coating his mind.

Wincing with a slight gasp, Ed placed at hand on the rocky surface to steady himself. He could hear Al asking him questions, but the fogginess in his head wasn't ceasing and he couldn't make out what was going on.

Something was wrong; first, his stomach had wreaked havoc on him all morning, and now he could barely function. Maybe it really was something he ate, though all he had eaten was the soup and the breakfast Al had made him.

Would…Hohenheim have poisoned it?

Ed sighed at the thought; his father might be shitty but he wasn't that shitty.

…hopefully.

If anything, he was just stressing himself out and making himself sick. Things had been pretty stressful in the last few months. Maybe he was overdue on a round of stress-borne illness.

Ed felt Al's hand on his shoulder, shaking it gently. He knew Al was trying to get his attention and he knew he shouldn't ignore him, but he really wanted to get the job over with. Quickly clapping his hands together and placing them on the stone, Ed started despite Al's attempt to quickly stop him.

Light danced through the tunnel, and the stone pieces rattled on the ground as the earth shook slightly with the effort of the transmutation. Ed winced as he felt his body being drained of energy, and he had to grit his teeth to stay focused.

Al watched some of the rocks fly around as they came together to piece the pillar back together, and jumped when a few hit him as well, something that Ed was usually really good at avoiding.

The pillar seemed to groan with the strain, but within a minute was standing fixed, alchemic lines apparent across the whole structure.

Ed let his hands fall to the ground as he hung his head, sweat dripping off his face and hitting the ground below him at a steady rate. He could feel his arms shaking with the minuscule amount of weight he had on them, especially considering he was still kneeling as well.

"Ed?"

Ed closed his eyes at Al's voice, not daring to look up at him until he got himself together. His stomach had started churning slightly again, and he felt nauseous and weak.

"Ed are you ok?"

Ed groaned and lowered himself to the ground, so that he was laying on his side, facing away from Alphonse.

"Edward?!"

"M' ok," Ed grumbled. "Just gimme a minute."

Al nervously peered between where Ed was laying in the middle of the sewer, and to the onlookers who were peering in curiously, eager to see the completed work of a State Alchemist (as if stone pillars were all at exciting).

"Ed you're worrying me, can I carry you on my back at least? I want to make sure to get you home," Al asked, worried Ed would vehemently refuse.

Ed opened his eyes and peered down the tunnel, sighing as the cold stone he was laying on was starting to make his head hurt. He really didn't want to cave in to Al's offer, but he also knew that getting up would be pointless if he were just to fall back over again.

"Ok…" he muttered softly, hoping Al heard it as he didn't want to have to repeat it again. Luckily, he seemed to have been loud enough, and he felt Al's gentle hands helping him stand up, and then lifting him so he was draped across Al's back. The cool metal felt nice, and he wrapped his arms around Al's neck softly.

"Thanks Al."

"Anytime brother. Now I don't care what you say, we're going home. We'll reassess how you feel tomorrow and see if you're up to the fifth site or not," Al huffed, determined to get his brother to rest, and hopefully open up about some things later on as well.

Ed rolled his eyes, but deep down he knew that Al was speaking from a logical place. Besides, staying home and resting felt like heaven right now. He felt absolutely awful.

"Hey Al?"

"Yes Ed?"

"I think…I think I'm sick."

Al chuckled lightly.

"Yeah, I think you are. Which is why we're headed home."

"Wait, Mustang-"

"-will be ok with it," Al finished. "He'll understand Ed."

Ed huffed, "well if you'd let me finish… we need to at least stop by Central Command and let him know."

Al sighed, not enjoying the idea of having another stop before Ed could be safe inside their home, resting.

"Alright, but we'll make it quick and you'd better let me help you."

Ed didn't answer, which Al took as silent agreement and understanding. The two of them clambered into the car once more, the driver sending a sympathetic look to Al.

After informing their chauffer of the change in plans, the two were quickly escorted to military headquarters. The drive was long and Ed drifted off a couple of times, waking up once to slight tremors in the ground that Al told him were probably just from military practice.

Arriving at Central, the two made their way slowly up to Mustang's office, Al heavily helping Ed stay stable and making sure to stop if need be.

"Wow, you look like shit," Havoc commented as the pair made their way into the main office.

"Thanks," Ed growled. "You try fixing a bunch of damn sewers and seeing how you look after."

Havoc held his hands up in mock surrender, "Nah, I just mean you look sick or something." The taller man rolled his cigarette between his fingers, eyeing Ed warily.

"That's because he is sick," Al stated, ignoring the look of betrayal Ed tossed him. "So, we're going to let Mustang know and then get rest at home."

Havoc raised an eyebrow at this, and glanced between the two brothers, understanding the situation. He was still concerned, but Al seemed to have a decent bit of control over his brother and what was going on.

"Gee that sucks, sorry Boss. I hope you start feeling better," Havoc smiled warmly, exhaling a soft plume of smoke that tickled Ed's nose. "If you want I can get the First Lieu-"

"No need Second Lieutenant," Riza stated, peering over his shoulder with a slightly menacing tone. "That had better not be a cigarette lit indoors Lieutenant Havoc."

Havoc paled slightly and grinned, "Of course not Lieutenant, I was just…headed outside to take a break when I ran into the Major."

Riza gave him a pointed stare, and Havoc sent the boys a knowing look before beelining past them and into the hallway.

"Mustang is expecting you two," Riza stated. "Ed, if you're not feeling well, would you like me to call a medic up here?"

Ed shook his head, wincing as it throbbed against his skull.

"I'm ok, but what do you mean Mustang is expecting us?" Ed asked incredulously, feeling his stomach sink as he worried about what that entailed.

Riza's eyes widened a fraction and she sighed softly.

"Why don't you come in and sit down, and I'll let him talk to you about it."

Ed paled at that, his legs growing shaky and his breathing seeming to halt. If it hadn't been for Al helping push him along and into the room, he doubted he'd have moved at all. Everything was going too fast; everything was happening too quickly.

Ed sat down on the couch next to Al, and Riza closed the doors behind them, taking a position in front of them as she watched sympathetically as Roy peered up at the boys, his anger fuming.

"Would you care to explain what happened at the drain site, Fullmetal?"

Ed could barely hear what Mustang was saying over the panic that had settled into his blood, but this drew his attention.

"What do you mean? We fixed them?" Ed asked, uncertain as to why Mustang was so angry at him doing his job.

"Fixed them?" Mustang laughed, a cold and albeit frightening laugh that chilled Ed to the core. "You caused an entire drain segment to collapse because of your half-assed alchemy!"

Ed blanched, his fingers balling into fists as he attempted to stomach what Mustang was saying.

"W-what-"

"You caused an innocent worker to get hurt; he had to get rushed to the hospital and frankly it's a miracle he made it out alive!" Mustang was yelling at this point, and had stood from his chair. "I know you didn't want to do this job, but just because it was easy doesn't mean you can half-ass it like this!"

Ed felt his hands shake and his stomach was clenching with terror. He had thought all the drains were fine, Al had helped double check them, everything had been fine…right?

"What the hell are you talking about? Everything was fine when we left it!" Ed argued back.

Mustang's eyes widened and he sat back down.

"You weren't there?"

Ed shook his head slowly at him, "I, we left the fourth site a little bit ago and came straight here. Everything was fine when we left," he repeated.

Mustang sighed a deep and pained sigh, running his fingers through his hair.

"Fullmetal, the last site you went to…the foundation wasn't built up properly and stable enough. The alchemic work collapsed in on itself and the pillar fell, bringing the rest of the surrounding stone down with it. It caused nearly half the entrance to the drain to cave in, and is going to take an entire team of alchemists to put back together," Mustang explained. "So, I'm asking you, what happened?"

Ed shook his head slowly, staring down at his hands with fear.

"No, it was stable, we left it and it was standing fine and-"

"Clearly it wasn't, Fullmetal. But it's unlike you to do shitty work like this, so what on earth happened."

Ed felt a soft hand on his shoulder, and he was grateful for the support Al was lending him.

"General, sir, I promise we really had no idea that had happened. I should have double checked to make sure everything was stable, I'm so sorry," Alphonse whispered.

Mustang folded his hands under his chin and peered over at Al.

"Alphonse, while I appreciate your apology, I am asking Fullmetal and would like to hear his response," he stated coldly, though the frigidity wasn't directed towards Alphonse.

Ed bit his lip and took a shaky breath. He felt faint and everything seemed to be swimming around him. He could barely focus.

"Fullmetal I swear to god if you don't fucking answer me I-"

"I don't know," Ed stated softly, cutting off Mustang who leaned back in his chair slightly, ready to listen.

"I…the first went by really well, but after the second one I started feeling kind of lightheaded. It got worse the more transmutations I did, and I…I must have missed a step or something," Ed frowned. "If you let me get back out there, I promise I'll fix it and do whatever I can to make it right."

"So you're sick, is what you're saying," Roy stated emotionlessly, "If you weren't feeling up to the job, you should never have agreed to it."

"I felt fine this morning though!" Ed yelled, standing quickly on shaky legs. Al was quick to stand behind him and support him.

"Oh really? You felt 100% fine this morning? Up to an entire day's worth of alchemic work?" Mustang yelled. "If you felt fine this never would have happened!"

"I didn't mean-"

"I know you didn't mean for this to happen, but it did. Your carelessness and lack of self-preservation nearly cost someone else's life."

Ed's face dropped at what Mustang was saying, and he found it hard to get a decent breath in. Mustang didn't seem to notice, however.

"You almost killed that worker, and for what? Pride? To save yourself from being embarrassed?" Mustang snapped. "You messed up, Fullmetal. I gave you a chance to sit this one out and take more time off, but instead, you insisted on completing the job today only to royally screw it over!"

E felt his cheeks getting hot, and he looked down at the carpet. Everything seemed to blur together, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he had failed and almost lead to yet another death.

Hohenheim was right.

Hohenheim was right.

"Sir, with all due respect I think he understands well enough," Riza spoke up, having walked over to stand at Mustang's side.

Mustang peered up at her, brows furrowed together in anger and frustration. He glanced at Edward out of the corner of his eye, noting how bad he looked and how upset he seemed.

However, something about that seemed to strike him funny, and he just felt himself getting even angrier.

"No, I need to make sure Fullmetal understands that this kind of thing can't happen," Roy scowled, getting up and walking around his desk so that he stood in front of Edward, who was still avoiding his eyes.

"Your ideocracy and impulsivity have always cost the military, but this is inexcusable. What would have happened if he had died?" Roy snapped.

"I need you to be on your best game, as a State Alchemist and as a part of my team. Your actions today only put other people in danger."

Ed nodded, biting his lip in a poor attempt to keep from crying. His head hurt, his stomach hurt, he felt sick and lightheaded, all Ed wanted was to go home and forget today had ever happened. He knew he was a burden to the military, he didn't need Roy to tell him that.

"I promise I can go fix it, I'll help-"

"You've helped plenty," Mustang growled. "You are to take three days to recover, and reflect on why you need to be more careful and take better care of yourself. I had better not see your ass within twenty feet of this building until three days have passed."

Ed's eyes widened and he gaped at Mustang.

"But-"

"That's an order, Fullmetal," Mustang glared down at him. "Go home."

The harsh tone of Mustang's voice sent chills down Ed's spine, hauntingly reminding him of Hohenheim's voice, and sending another wave of panic through his body. Taking a shaky breath, he slowly turned and made his way out the door and through the hallways. Nothing was registering, and Ed merely dragged through the hallways on muscle memory alone. His thoughts were racing a mile a minute, and he could barely hear what was going on around him.

At one point he thought Al was saying something to him, but he couldn't understand what was going on.

Al watched as Ed seemed to check out and he began to grow immensely worried. His brother seemed to be in shock with what had happened, and Al could understand why. All he could do was follow his brother through the hallways, apologizing to people who had to move out of the way.

Something was seriously wrong.

Al placed a soft hand around Ed's shoulder and helped guide him out of the building and towards home. He felt awful, he should have checked Ed's alchemy, he should have been better about getting Ed to go home earlier. He knew Ed was probably blaming himself for what had happened, but Al knew he was just at fault.

Meanwhile, Riza was giving Roy a lecture of her own back at Central.

"You shouldn't have been so harsh on them, everyone makes mistakes and no one was seriously injured," Riza stated.

"They put someone in the hospital!"

"For a broken arm," Riza glared at him.

"He had rubble come falling down on him, it could have been a lot worse," Roy argued.

"Sir, Ed isn't feeling well. He didn't mean to make that mistake, and while he does need to be more diligent and not act so rashly, he's still just a kid. He's going through a lot right now," Riza explained softly. "You and I both know something's still wrong; there's something he's not telling us."

Mustang groaned and laid his head on his desk.

"I know. I don't know why I got so angry with him. He just looked so surprised and I got so frustrated. Especially since I knew something was off this morning, and I told him not to take this job if he wasn't feeling well. If only the damn brat ever listened."

"I know Roy," Riza said quietly, placing a hand over Mustang's and giving it a gently squeeze. "You're worried about him, that's all. And I am too, but you need to be more considerate with him, especially right now. Something's wrong, but we can't force him to tell us, and he's not going to come to us if he feels you'll just get angry with him."

Roy sighed, "I…I really screwed up, didn't I?"

Riza chuckled.

"I don't know about that, but I definitely think you need to apologize to him for getting so angry about it. Trust me, he understands the lesson you intended. Knowing him, he's probably going to just make himself even more sick with guilt."

"What would I do without you Riza," Roy muttered.

"Well, you probably wouldn't get as much work done. And you might make a few more people angry," Riza smirked. Roy grinned back at her, laughter rumbling through his chest.

"Do you think he's going to be ok?" Roy said as he lifted his head from his desk.

Riza's silence only made Roy more worried, and he looked at her with fear.

"I don't know," Riza whispered. "But he has us, and he has Al, and I'm sure that even if things aren't ok for right now, they will be with time. I think…I think he just has too many things stressing him out right now, and isn't doing a good job of taking care of himself on top of that."

Mustang nodded to that. "I get it, I went through the same thing. I just hope he can pull himself out of it, I don't…I don't want him to end up like I did during military school and Ishval."

Riza hummed softly and placed a hand on Mustang's shoulder in solidarity.

"He has you looking out for him Roy, he's going to be just fine."

Ed was most certainly not "just fine" as he and Al made their way into the small home. Hohenheim was in the kitchen making coffee, his research notes scattered about the living room.

"Why don't you head upstairs to rest Ed, I'll get going on that pasta with Dad and check on you in a bit," Al suggested. Ed merely nodded dully; his eyes were glazed as he wandered upstairs.

He shut the door behind him and all but threw himself on his bed, where he curled in on himself, gipping his knees tightly. His whole body was shaking, and his stomach clenched and unclenched with every passing thought.

He had almost killed someone.

He had really fucked this job up.

Mustang wasn't going to want him on his team anymore.

Hohenheim was going to yell at him about it.

Hohenheim was right.

Ed was a failure.

He was a failure.

Throwing a hand over his mouth, Ed rolled over quickly and barely made it to the bathroom before losing the measly lunch one of the workers had offered them earlier. Tears ran down his cheeks as he pressed his forehead against the cool porcelain of the lid.

Life is really giving me the short straw on everything right now, huh? Ed grimaced as he lost to another wave of bile and saliva.

He could barely keep his breathing steady, and his lungs ached from the stress they'd been under all day. He slid his jacket and gloves off, the cool air helping calm his overworked and overstressed body. Everything inside of him felt tense and ready to break, and as he stood with shaky legs his vision swam in front of him.

Why couldn't he do anything right?

Ed took a few steps forward, gripping the edge of the sink for a moment to try and catch his breath.

Why did Mustang and Hohenheim hate him so much?

He made it about halfway to his bed, before his vision grew hazy and he couldn't tell what was up and what was down.

He really was a murderer, like Hohenheim said he was. He almost killed another today.

His thoughts were all coming too quickly, and his body was in no condition to keep up with it.

He deserved everything that was happening.

The floor rushed up to meet him, and all Ed saw was black.

WOW ! It has been a hot minute since I've been able to update this, but as such I have a really hearty chapter for you all this time around! It's just going to get more intense from here on out too! Thank you as always for being so patient with me, and continuing to support me! It means the world to me, and I appreciate each and every one of you.