Chapter 29
Return
My thoughts were a jumbled mess, a Gordian knot of anxieties and insecurities and questions.
I hadn't ended up rejoining the group - as recurring images of the night's developments had swarmed through my brain, running roughshod over my rational mind, I'd genuinely been given over to exhaustion, and the lure of my bed had proven too great. I was unconscious long before any of the others had returned to the room; thankfully, they'd had the good sense to leave me be.
Even Second Place-san.
Driven to sleep abnormally early, I found myself waking up alongside the sun - the dull bluish-grey of dawn filtering in via the window opposite the door, diffusing through the thin fabric that covered its surface. Rising, I quietly moved over to the light source, slipping the curtain gently aside to gaze up at the peaks far above.
In the early morning serenity, something inside me longed for the outdoors. Maybe clarity would come if I escaped the wooden walls that surrounded me.
Quietly getting dressed, I exited the bedroom, and within minutes was breathing in the cool mountain air outside the lodge. The sun wasn't yet visible over the rising spires of stone, but its hidden presence was evident, light reflecting around the rocky summits and flowing down into the still-shaded valley below. Within minutes, it would surely show its face. Birds were chirping in the distant treeline, and I thought I could see a few flitting from branch to branch, scarce visible in the dull glow of early dawn.
There was a chill in the air.
Shivering, I pulled my coat tighter and began to walk. I didn't quite have a destination in mind; I just wanted my feet to take me somewhere. Anywhere I could think was fine.
Evidently, my feet were craving nature, and I was soon in the woods, following a very particular trail which was at this point almost well-worn. Stepping over roots, leaves crunching underfoot, traversing the small wooden bridge over the creek - these were things to which I'd very quickly adjusted, things which I'd catalogued and filed away as being quintessential parts of the mountain experience.
To my mild surprise, I realized that I would miss them once I returned to the city.
Following the trail, I eventually emerged at the playground which Yotsuba, Itsuki and I had located on the very first day - our orienteering goal. With the sun having now fully risen, the sandbox and see-saw and all the other structures present therein felt... hollow. Empty. In the stark light of the barely-birthed dawn, there was something forlorn about them, absent any people or noise.
I wondered if the answers I was seeking could possibly be found in a place such as this.
Unconsciously, I was drawn to the swings.
Settling on the cool plastic, I gripped the chains with each hand, and stepped backwards. I rose, and rose, until I was standing on the tips of my toes. Taking a moment to pause, I took a breath, dropped my body weight onto the seat- and swung, just as I had the morning of our departure days before.
Pumping my legs forward and back to build momentum, the landscape ahead of me was unchanging - forest and greenery obstructed my sight of the wider view, and the mountains beyond. Even at the peak of my swing, the world did not open up. There were no lights, and there were no people moving in houses far below. There were no infrequent cars, and there were no sounds of a city just beginning to awaken. There was silence - but the loneliness here wasn't the right loneliness.
It wasn't my loneliness.
The comfort I'd found in the ephemeral stillness of that park on the hill wasn't here.
My swinging progressively slowed, round by round by round by round, until eventually I was barely moving.
Friction killed the last fleeting scraps of momentum, and I sat still, staring up at the dull blue November sky.
The sparsely scattered clouds were unmoving.
I breathed in, the cool autumn air seeping into my lungs. My grip on the chains tightened, ever so slightly. Cold metal on warm flesh. It was reassuring, somehow - but only that. There were no answers in the steel, just as there were no answers in the small eddies and flows of the water vapour far above; my eyes, searching, tracing the edges and boundaries of their immobile forms, gained no knowledge from their stillness.
There was nothing here for me. My answers couldn't come from without.
Sighing, I stood.
This didn't help.
Shoving my hands in my coat pockets, I gave the playground one more forlorn look, and then left it behind. The return trek was as much a blur as the way out had been, my mind discarding the irrelevant trivialities of navigation and the passing of time. Emerging from the trail head, I trudged towards the front door of the lodge - but then noticed a lone figure at the picnic tables off to the side, her red hair waving gently in a light breeze as she read a book.
As I approached, Itsuki glanced up at me.
"Oh, Uesugi-kun," she smiled warmly, closing the book about her finger. "Good morning."
"G'morning," I said, slipping onto the bench across the table from her.
"We missed you last night," she said, unconsciously glancing back at the paperback in her hands. "It's too bad - Yotsuba seemed pretty down about it."
"I... see," I said carefully.
"To be honest, it didn't seem like it was just about you missing the last evening of the trip," she said, tapping the book gently against the picnic table in thought. "I saw you two coming down the hill together - tell me, did something happen?"
I sighed, and lowered my chin into my arms on the table.
"...I can definitely say that something happened," I shrugged, looking up at her. "The problem is, I'm not entirely sure what it was either."
As she raised an eyebrow inquiringly, I sank my chin even deeper into my arms. Somehow, talking about the situation aloud with someone else made it feel more real; more overwhelming. "I asked her to dance last night, during the bonfire. She... she said yes, and so... we danced. It was nice."
I bit my lip. This was proving surprisingly difficult to talk about, a swirling acidic feeling in my stomach reaching up, trying to still my moving mouth. "I... think she was happy? She was joking... but then, something changed - it's hard to articulate exactly what. She seemed... upset. Or... no, maybe that's not the right word? I don't know."
Itsuki nodded slowly, though I noticed a slight pink tinge come across her cheeks at the mention of the dance. Then, she pursed her lips.
"That's tricky. Maybe you could just ask her? Yotsuba is direct like that, after all."
I furrowed my brow, taking her words into consideration. Then, slowly, I shook my head.
"I could try that... but I can't shake this feeling that she wouldn't want to talk about it. The last time something seemed to bother her, she didn't want to answer my questions at all."
Itsuki frowned... and then shrugged. "I guess so. Yotsuba has her secrets, just like everyone else in the world. I'm pretty surprised that she would be upset after a dance with you, though."
I frowned. "Why's that?"
Itsuki just stared at me for a moment incredulously - and then she sighed, and shook her head, a gesture which I had a vague feeling was derogatory. "You know what? Nevermind. Maybe you're just a really bad dancer."
"Probably," I muttered. "It's not like I had any idea what I was doing."
"Regardless," she said, emphasizing the word. "The only thing you can do to figure this out is talk to her. You're never going to make any progress by sitting by yourself and thinking about it. If she doesn't want to answer your questions, then that's that."
I paused to consider her words, my thoughts cast back to the swings in the woods - and the answers they had lacked.
"You're right," I murmured, sitting up and stretching my shoulders. "You're definitely right - I've just never been in a situation like this before, with the dance and everything. It's not obvious what I should do..."
"Just act how you always act," Itsuki shrugged. "If she wants to tell you when you ask, she will. If she doesn't, she won't."
I nodded. "That's... quite good advice, actually. Thanks, Itsuki."
"I try," she said, a half-smile coming onto her face. "I am a good friend sometimes, you know."
"More than sometimes," I said quietly, a feeling of fondness for the redhead across the table welling up inside my chest. An odd look crossed her face, but she shrugged, smiled, and went back to reading.
We sat there in silence for a while, she with her book, and I staring up at the mountains far above, pondering my best course of action. Memories of the previous night were bubbling unbidden into the forefront of my mind- memories of Yotsuba, and her eyes, and her lips. My hands on her waist, the small of her back. The soft feeling of her hand in mine. The pressure of her head against my chest, her resting on my shoulder.
The look of guilt on her face.
I realized with a start that Itsuki was looking at me from over-top her book.
"Yes...?" I asked.
"I have to say," she said, a smirk growing on her face. "I'm shocked that you were the one to ask her to dance. How scandalous, Uesugi-kun."
I scowled. "You sound like Ichika."
"Well, that makes sense- we are sisters, after all."
I chuckled, then stretched my arms. "I guess. I honestly surprised myself- I have no idea what came over me."
Deep in my chest, there was a resentful growl.
I couldn't have imagined, at this time last year, that I would have asked a girl to dance. It would have been completely outside the realm of possibility. An absurdity.
At least these days, it would be...
On the other hand, five years ago... before I met her-
The quickly aborted thought left me unsettled, and I shook my head.
"Ah, well, it is what it is."
"Wow- truly profound, Uesugi-kun," Itsuki snorted. "Anyways, in the end, all of this boils down to the fact that something happened when you danced last night. You need to either just ask her about it, or let it go. Those are the only real options, right? Dwelling on it without doing anything will get you nowhere."
"Right," I nodded amicably.
Itsuki looked me up and down, a slightly pensive look on her face. "That said... you've talked a lot about Yotsuba's feelings. Are you sure that you're completely confident in your own end of things?"
I shifted on the bench, glancing away from her. "That's... an uncomfortable question."
She blinked. "Why?"
"Because the answer is no, and that makes me uncomfortable."
Itsuki snorted, and shook her head. "That's such a you answer."
"I... don't know how to take that," I said, scratching my cheek.
"I don't know either," Itsuki said, laughing. "Anyways, it seems like you're having quite a bit of trouble - both with your feelings, and hers. I'll try my best to help you figure it out."
"I don't remember asking-"
I paused, and quickly weighed my options. Then, I sighed.
"No, sorry, you're right. I'll gratefully accept. I need the help."
I have no idea what the hell is going on with Yotsuba... or with me. Maybe two heads will be better than one.
"Of course you will," Itsuki said smugly, closing her book again entirely. "I'm amazing at this sort of thing!"
"Uh... right," I said doubtfully.
"Hey! I am!"
"I believe you," I lied smoothly.
"You're lying! I can tell you're lying, Uesugi-kun!"
"...No, I'm not," I lied again, glancing away.
"Ugh, fine!" Itsuki growled. "I'll prove it to you by helping you sort this whole thing out!"
I bowed my head. "I'm truly grateful, Itsuki-sensei."
She rolled her eyes, and then rose from the table. "Whatever. You're lucky to have me, and you know it. I'm heading in now - I think they need me to help set up breakfast."
I nodded, and rose to my feet along with her. As we approached the front door of the lodge, however, she turned back to look at me.
"I'm serious though, Uesugi-kun," she murmured. "I want to try and help you, at least as best I can. You're one of my closest friends, after all. I... really realized that after the fight we had on the slopes."
Caught off guard by the sudden sincerity, my eyes widened. Then, almost against my will, a grin crossed my face.
"Despite the fact that you endlessly torment me, you're one of my closest friends too," I laughed.
"Hey! I-I-" Itsuki spluttered, outraged. "I don't- No! That's you! You're the one who's always making fun of- geez! Actually, you know what? Nevermind, I'm leaving."
Huffing, she walked away - but as she entered the lodge, she cracked, and started laughing; and a moment later, I joined her. After that brief moment of camaraderie, we parted ways, and I settled into an armchair by the fire blazing in the hearth. Leaning back into the comfortable depths, I turned Itsuki's words over in my head.
I need to just ask her. It's simple, right?
The acidic feeling in my gut had returned, demanding my silence, demanding that I keep it all in - to turn it over and over and over in my mind until the pieces fell together. To not ask, to not receive outside help.
To not open myself up to the possibility of being rebuffed. Rejected.
You're many things, Uesugi Fuutarou - but not a coward. Get it together, and do what you need to do.
I smacked my cheeks, as I'd seen Yotsuba do. It didn't do much to clear my head - but it was a distraction, and that was enough.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement.
A flash of red. A spark of green, wavering barely in view.
Yotsuba was up on the balcony, far above; from what I could make out, she was crouched behind the railing, rendering her mostly invisible. As her ribbon waved gently above her supposed hiding spot spot, I glanced at it indirectly - I couldn't tell if she was just busy doing something up there which required her to crouch, or if she was peeking down on me from up above, delusionally thinking that she was being sneaky.
The thought of it being the latter amused me.
That's deeply weird... but also adorable.
Eventually, I got bored of waiting, and looked directly up at where the bow was wavering. Unmoving, I raised a single eyebrow.
Caught you.
The ribbon gave a start of surprise, and then began to scurry to the left, towards the stairs.
Ha. She was definitely peeking.
Sheepishly, Yotsuba emerged from the stairs and walked over to me.
"G-Good morning, Uesugi-san," she said, laughing awkwardly, her voice nearly imperceptibly shaking.
At the sight of her face, flushed and laughing, I could already feel my heart picking up - memories of the previous night flooding back in. I could feel my face heating up; yet, as those thoughts swirled, Itsuki's advice reverberated in my head.
Just act normally. If she wants to talk about it... she will.
"Morning," I said, leaning back in my chair, hoping desperately that my voice contained some approximation of normalcy - whatever the hell that meant. "How'd you sleep?"
It must have worked, because Yotsuba visibly relaxed.
"Pretty well - though we stayed up late! It's too bad you couldn't join us. Are you... are you feeling any better?"
The quivering tone was still there.
My own stomach was doing flips - but I didn't want her to realize how nervous I was. How much I was desperate to just... ask. To know.
"I fell asleep pretty quickly after I got back to the room. I'm glad you guys had fun, though."
It wasn't the entire truth - but it was enough of the truth to be plausible. To not feel like I'd lied to her. I could only hope she wouldn't notice that I hadn't actually answered her question; I didn't want to discuss my own feelings... at least, not until I'd figured out what the hell they were.
Yotsuba' shoulders seemed to relax further.
"Oh. G-Good! I'm glad!"
"Yeah," I said, stifling a yawn with my arm. "I think breakfast is soon. Food?"
Yotsuba brightened at that. "Oh- um, sure! Food sounds great!"
Getting up, I followed her out of the lodge. As she marched ahead, however, my eyes were firmly trained on the back of her head.
I need to know what she thinks. About last night. About me. About... everything. I need to find a chance to ask her directly, to get answers.
Glancing around at the crowd of students slowly growing in the lobby by the minute, I sighed.
But... not now. When we're alone.
Quickening my pace, I caught up to her, walking at her side out the front door of the lodge, and around towards the picnic tables. The food team had almost finished setting up, and we milled about as we waited for the breakfast bar to open - but we were far from alone. Even here, other students lingered, making open discussion of such a sensitive subject unthinkable.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Yotsuba idly shifting her weight from one foot to the other; she was furtively stealing glances at me, thinking I hadn't noticed.
I pretended I hadn't.
Eventually, breakfast was ready, and we formed a line; bowls of cereal, plates of toast, and other classic morning foods. After loading up, I was seated with Yotsuba, the others not yet having arrived. Even as we ate, she was still acting awkwardly, fidgeting and glancing at me when she thought I wasn't looking. After a while, I got tired of pretending I couldn't tell what she was doing, and so I decided to employ my most effective Yotsu-strategy - distraction.
"So," I said, spreading butter on my toast. "What did you guys do after I went to bed?"
"Oh!" she said, caught off-guard by my question. "Um... mostly a lot of ping-pong. I forced- um, I mean, I convinced Nino to play with me for a bit."
I frowned. I can't visualize that at all.
"She was actually pretty good," Yotsuba said, munching on her own piece of toast. "We had a lot of good rallies."
"Did you win?"
A smug look crossed her face. "Sure did!"
I flashed a grin at her. "Good. I'm proud of you."
A smattering of pink began to cross her face, but we were interrupted by the arrival of Itsuki, who flopped down onto the bench next to her sister.
"Ugh, that took forever," she complained. "Who knew there were that many kinds of cereal?!"
"Probably you," I nodded to myself, filing Yotsuba's reaction away for later. "Somehow, in my head, you have a catalogue of all the different types of cereal, and which ones taste the best."
"...Rude," Itsuki pouted."Partially true, but rude."
Snorting, I returned to my food. Yotsuba looked back and forth between us, and for a brief moment, there was a look that I didn't understand on her face; a tightening of her lips, a narrowing of the eyes. Then, it was gone, and she grinned, leaving me to wonder if I'd imagined it, projecting it onto her because of my own inner turmoil.
"Itsuki, what do you think of my cereal? Did I get a good one?" she asked innocently. Itsuki looked over at her bowl, and then sighed.
"Meh."
"Wait, what?! Noooo!" Yotsuba cried, a look of distress crossing her face. "That's- That's- I was sure this was the best option!"
"You can do better; that one's really sweet," Itsuki shrugged dismissively. "Mind you, maybe something that sweet is the best option for you."
Yotsuba pouted, but dug into her cereal without a riposte.
Eventually, the other sisters (apart from Nino) joined us at the table, and the conversation grew more fragmented as it split between five people. Once we'd all finished eating, and breakfast drew to a close, the gym teacher called all of the students together, and roared that there would be thirty minutes provided for packing bags; once we'd finished, we were to meet with our suitcases at the front of the lodge.
Temporarily separating from Yotsuba and returning to my quarters, the six of us who shared a room began to pack. The three boys who had participated in the previous night's dance were laughing and joking amongst themselves; Second Place-san and Maeda, on the other hand, seemed to be having a very animated conversation.
"Indeed, my man! You must tell me more of this exciting development!"
"Well," Maeda said, scratching his cheek, "I dunno. I took her through the forest for the test of courage, and- Oi! Uesugi!"
I glanced over as I zipped my suitcase shut, not particularly wanting to get dragged into the conversation. "Yeah?"
"...Thanks."
I raised an eyebrow, confused. "Why?"
"You and that Nakano girl... uh, I don't remember her name..."
"Yotsuba?"
"Yeah, her," Maeda said. "You two scared the shit out of Matsui during the test of courage. So... thanks."
I blinked. "Um... you're welcome?"
"Yeah, I took advantage of that... what was it you called it? The 'suspension bridge' effect? I don't remember. Anyways, I asked her to the party after that, and she said yes - and so, we danced at the bonfire. It was awesome."
I frowned. Did I say something like that?
After a moment's thought, I finally vaguely remembered discussing something along those lines with Maeda while making the curry. So much had happened since then - the test of courage, Yotsuba's secret discussion with Ichika, skiing, the bonfire itself and the dance that had come with it, my morning consultation with Itsuki - that it had completely slipped my mind.
"You're welcome," I shrugged. "Glad it worked out for you."
Maeda simply grinned at me, and went back to his conversation with Second Place-san; the blond boy, however, gave me an unreadable look before turning back around.
I thought it might have been a look of respect, but I was certain I was imagining it.
With my bag fully packed, I wheeled the small suitcase out of the room alone, and to the front of the lodge. Stepping out into the cool breeze that had picked up, I noted that I was among the first to arrive: and so, alone, I contented myself with sitting on top of my suitcase and simply gazing at the mountains surrounding the campgrounds. It was the last time I would be able to see sights such as these for a while... so I attempted to soak in as much of the view as I could.
Though it had only been a few days, I was already feeling nostalgic.
Eventually, there was a rumbling sound, and a small platoon of buses rounded the bend and approached the large central building. Rising off my suitcase, I glanced behind me to see that more students had begun to filter out the front doors. As the vehicles came to a stop in front of me, Yotsuba bounded up, suitcase in hand.
"Uesugi-saaaaaaaan!"
She seems more energetic now, somehow...
"Hey," I smiled, raising a hand in greeting. "Long time, no see."
Yotsuba laughed, but then looked up at the huge bus - and her face dropped.
"I'm sad we have to go... I had a lot of fun on this trip," she said, her ribbon drooping dramatically. "I wish it would last forever."
"I had fun too- but if it lasted forever, you'd fail your exams," I said drily.
"On the contrary, Uesugi-san!" she said, puffing up her chest and putting her hands on her hips. "If the camping trip lasted forever, there would be no more exams!"
"That sounds like a nightmare," I said, shaking my head. "Let's head back right now."
"Eh? EH?! What- no! I want all exams to be cancelled! Forever!"
I raised an eyebrow. "How are you going to manage to pass all five subjects if there's never another exam? You'd be stuck at four out of five forever."
Yotsuba pouted at me, her cheeks big and puffy. "U-Unfair! You're right, I guess, but... unfair! Ugh... I'm definitely going to pass all five this time!"
She looked adorable- and I couldn't help but laugh. Her pout only deepened as her sisters approached from behind, suitcases in tow. Nino was trailed by her two friends, and seemed distinctly disinterested in being anywhere near me.
What else is new?
"Well then - when we get back, I guess it's back to studying. Let's do our best," I said, a hint of eagerness entering my voice.
After a weekend of doing without, I was excited to get back to my favourite pastime.
Eventually, the buses opened their guts, and our suitcases were loaded on-board. Climbing the stairs at the front, I was relieved to see that we were once-again on the type of bus with tables - the cards could be pulled out, and I could enforce my supremacy on any foolish prey who dared challenge me.
Settling at a table at the back, I'd expected Yotsuba to plop into the spot next to me, as she had on every other ride. She wasn't given the opportunity, though: Miku had gotten on the bus before her - and to my surprise, she sank into the empty seat next to me, instead of the set across the way.
Yotsuba paused at the edge of the table, an unreadable look crossing her face for a moment once again, that same tightening of the lips, that drawing of the eyes... before she gently shrugged her shoulders and slid into the seat across from me. Ichika sat down next to her, while Itsuki took one of the seats across the aisle, her book already in hand.
I glanced at the headphone-clad girl next to me, before looking across at Yotsuba.
...Hmm.
A few minutes after we'd settled into place, the bus engine roared to life... and we began to slowly ascend out of the valley.
"So," I ventured, pulling out a pack from my coat pocket. "...Cards?"
The game was swift - and as per usual, Miku and Yotsuba were swiftly dispatched, leaving just Ichika and I to duke it out. As the mountains soared by, with their craggy peaks and snowy caps bidding us adieu, I felt my phone rumble in my pocket as soon as we re-entered cell signal range. After finally dispatching Ichika, I checked it and saw that I'd received a text from Raiha:
{I hope you had a great trip, Onii-chan! I wanna hear all about it when you get back!}
I smiled down at my phone... and then felt my face heat up as memories of the previous night once again flooded my mind. I shot her a quick response, and then put my phone away.
"Uesugi-san?"
I looked up to see Yotsuba looking at me, her eyes searching. My face was still burning - I hoped she hadn't noticed.
"Yes?"
She paused... and then shook her head. "It's nothing. Nevermind."
Then, her own phone buzzed, and she pulled it out. As she read the contents of whatever message she'd received, her eyes narrowed, and a puzzled look crossed her face. Biting the inside of her cheek, I could see her turning something over in her mind. Eventually, she looked up at me.
"Uesugi-san?"
"Yes?" I repeated, a note of amusement entering my voice.
"Can I get your advice on something?"
The question surprised me, but I nodded. "If I can help, sure."
Yotsuba set the phone face-up on the table, and rested her elbow next to it, supporting her head as she gazed down at the screen. Her face was a picture in conflict, indecision reigning supreme across her eyes, her cheeks, and her lips.
"I just got a text from the captain of the school's running club; apparently, one of the teachers recommended that they try and recruit me."
I blinked. I hadn't expected that, though in retrospect it made perfect sense.
"Do you think I should do it?" Yotsuba asked.
I leaned back in my chair to give it some thought. A month ago, I would have categorically said that it was a terrible idea - back when we'd first started studying for the midterms. Back when I'd been doubtful she stood a chance of passing a single test, let alone five.
That had been then. Now, though...
"Is this something you want to do?" I asked pointedly.
She paused, turning it over and over... and then she nodded.
"I used to do track in middle school... so I would love to get back into it."
I frowned; there was a feeling in my chest telling me there was something off - that her words weren't the entire story, and that there was another motivator.
"Plus... it sounds like they really need me."
There it is.
I sighed. "Look, if it's something you really want to do, then that's one thing. On the other hand, if you're just doing it because they want you to, and you don't want to disappoint them... that's another thing entirely."
Yotsuba pursed her lips wordlessly.
"It would be disrespectful to this team and their captain if you went in with an 'I'm just doing this to help you out' attitude, after all," I said, shaking my head. "You need to be going in with actual commitment, right? Otherwise, you're just wasting your time - and theirs."
She frowned, looking down at her phone. There was a moment of silence where I could see that she was turning my words over. Then, looking up at me, she nodded.
"I think this is something I really want to do. I really loved track in middle school... and I want to do it again."
I nodded. "In that case, I think you should do it- on one condition, though."
"Yeah?"
"Make sure you're still passing the finals," I said, frowning. "No slacking on studying. You don't want to throw away all the effort you put into the midterms."
Yotsuba's eyes searched mine for a moment - and maybe she found what she was looking for, because a grin broke out on her face.
"Deal! I'll let Eba-san know that I'm in."
I simply grunted in response. Yotsuba typed a quick response, and then smiled at me.
"Don't worry, Uesugi-sensei! I'm not gonna shirk on my studying - I'm going to blow those finals out of the water."
"Excellent," I said, nodding. "Now, I hope you're prepared for me to blow you out of the water."
"H-Huh?" Yotsuba asked, a sudden note of panic entering her voice.
With a grin on my face, I shuffled the deck of cards, and then dealt.
A look which I thought might have been disappointment crossed her face.
Two and a half hours later, the bus pulled to a stop in front of the school, and we slowly disembarked. I was the last one off, following Yotsuba down the steps. As she grabbed her off-loaded suitcase from amidst the crowd of bags, I noticed that the large black car of foreign make which regularly brought them to school was parked near the gates. Locating my own luggage, I watched her and her sisters walk towards the imposing vehicle. Turning around and waving, Yotsuba grinned at me.
"It was a great trip!" she called. "See you tomorrow, Uesugi-san!"
I could feel a grin spreading across my face at her enthusiasm as I raised my hand and waved back; then, as they entered the car with its tinted windows, I felt my fingers curl slightly, my arm sagging.
I still need to ask her about what happened. To understand her feelings... and my own.
Biting my lip, I began walking towards the gate deep in thought, the black car pulling away and soon vanishing.
But... it'll have to wait.
"Uesugi-kun!"
I pulled up short, and turned to look behind me, the honorific paired with the boy's voice striking a discordant tone which snapped me from my brief reverie. Second Place-san had pulled up behind me, suitcase in tow, his hand raised.
"Yes?" I asked, a note of irritation entering my voice unprompted.
"Um... may I speak with you for a moment?"
My eyes narrowed... but I nodded.
"Sure, what's up?"
He shifted uncomfortably. "Ah... not here. Perhaps somewhere slightly more private?"
Baffled, I nodded. He led the way around the corner of the school, walking until we reached an area entirely devoid of people. It was only there that I noticed that a slight breeze was blowing - I pushed my hands into my coat pockets for warmth. It was less cold than in the mountains, but it was still November.
"So? What is it?" I asked, shivering slightly.
To my utter shock and bewilderment, Second Place-san bowed his head.
"I... I need your help."
There was a moment of silence that stretched between us, primarily caused by my trying to process his words. Then, finally, I frowned.
"...Why?"
His bow deepened. "I've... I've come to the realization that when it comes to tutoring, and especially tutoring those five... I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Blunder after blunder, sometimes without even realizing I've made a blunder- I'm entirely out of my depth."
I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that.
"So... I'm asking for your help. Please."
I shook my head. "I'm not a tutor. I don't know anything about tutoring - ask someone else."
"Please! You helped Nakano Yotsuba pass most of the midterms, when I couldn't even get the majority of them to attend my sessions! I was only able to make up with Nakano Itsuki because of your guidance. If you won't help me... I don't know what I'm going to do!"
Scowling, I scratched my head. This wasn't remotely how I'd expected the rest of my afternoon to go.
"So... what exactly do you want from me?"
Second Place-san looked up at me, a hopeful expression on his face.
"Just advice. You've told me many times that my pedagogy is... is bad. I've been forced to admit that you're right. So... please. Teach me. Teach me what I should be doing to succeed."
The twitch of his face, the trembling of his lower lip... I could tell how difficult those words were for him to get out. How much effort they'd taken.
How much he'd needed to swallow his pride.
Looking over his hope-filled face, I thought back on the trip - and how many times he'd surprised me.
And... the others' grades depend on him. Since I refused to teach them, and I have no intention of taking up the mantle if he fails... I suppose I owe them this much.
I bit my lip... and then made a decision.
"So... just to be clear," I said slowly, "all you want is advice. You don't want me to partake in the sessions, or anything like that."
"I mean, if you'd be willing-"
"No."
"Then... yes, that's all I want. I want to do right by those girls, and make up for the failures that led us to this point," he said. "It'll be a very steep upward climb, trying to get them to all pass the finals... but I need to at least give it an honest try."
Rising back to his full height, he sighed. "Though, as I said... I don't actually have any idea what I'm doing."
I looked him up and down... and then a half-smile leaked onto my face, practically against my will.
"Well... I'll see what I can do. I'm not an expert either, but... maybe I can help you with figuring out how to make sure the sessions are productive, and that they're actually learning something. Since, you know, your pedagogy sucks."
Reaching over, I clasped his shoulder. "I'm glad you're facing them head-on, though."
The boy met my eyes, and gave me a wan smile. "It's the least I can do, after everything that's happened."
He extended his hand awkwardly.
"I look forward to working with you."
I looked down at the outstretched hand. I looked back up at the blond boy in front of me. Then, I pursed my lips.
"I do have one condition."
"...Oh. Yes?"
I shook my head. "I'm only willing to help insofar as it doesn't impact my own studies, or Yotsuba's. I'm not throwing either of our grades away over this."
He nodded. "Deal. Their grades are my responsibility anyways. I wouldn't ask you to go that far."
I nodded back to him and, releasing his shoulder, I firmly shook his hand.
"Let's both do our best, Takeda."
After the brief shake, he laughed nervously and withdrew his hand. "Well... I suppose I'll see you tomorrow, or some other time this week. We can coordinate."
I nodded, and Takeda began to walk away... but then paused.
"Ah, actually- if we're to coordinate, I suppose it would be easiest if we share contact information. Would that be agreeable to- um, would that be alright with you?"
I nodded again blankly, and we then quickly exchanged e-mail addresses. Walking away, he waved back at me.
"Thank you for the help, Uesugi-kun! I shall endeavour to make it worth your while!"
"Sure," I said, awkwardly raising a hand in response. Then, he rounded the corner, and Takeda was gone.
In a mild daze, I looked down at my phone... and the list of contacts had once again grown.
Nakano Yotsuba, Nakano Itsuki... and now, Takeda Yuusuke.
Shaking my head, I stowed my phone, and walked back to the gates, suitcase in tow.
I didn't particularly expect anyone to be home - Raiha had school, and my dad was likely at work. So, I took my time with the commute home; catching the bus when it eventually came, but not rushing to catch the earlier option; watching the scenery as it passed; slowly walking from the stop to the apartment. Leisurely climbing the stairs, step by step, dragging the suitcase behind me, I was eventually outside our door. Fishing the key out of my pocket, I swung it open, and then made my way inside.
After a weekend of being constantly surrounded by people, the apartment felt... barren.
Closing the door and locking it behind me, I took off my coat and shoes, and walked in. After rolling my suitcase into a corner, I lowered myself to the floor, and sighed. The silence was deafening, the solitude claustrophobic. It was like I was coming down from a runner's high - not that I'd ever experienced what that was like.
I flopped over, spread-eagled on the floor next to the table. I knew precisely what the problem was.
After four days straight together, I was experiencing acute Yotsuba-withdrawal.
The thought made me laugh quietly to myself.
After it subsided, I sighed. Staring at the ceiling, the previous night's scene replayed in my mind for the thousandth time.
I want to understand. I want to understand why she grabbed my hand like that... and what she was thinking. Why she had that look on her face.
Rolling onto my side, I closed my eyes.
Deep in the cage in my chest, in the shadowy reaches where the beast lazed, a harsh purr rumbled.
I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I was suddenly jolted awake by the sound of somebody fiddling with the lock. Blearily sitting up, I looked to the kitchen, the entrance out of sight around the corner. The refrigerator was suddenly lit up with grey-blue light as the door swung open - and a blast of chilly November air entered the room.
Then, Raiha bounded into the apartment, followed shortly thereafter by my dad.
"Ah- Onii-chan! You're home!" she squealed, charging up to me. "Tell me everything!"
Amused, I paused, thinking back on everything that had happened.
Then, I shook my head.
"...Where do I even start?"
A/N: With this, we draw the third arc of "How We Met Again" to a close, and also mark the end of the entire first half of the story. Thank you very much for reading this far, and for sticking with the story for so long - we've come a long way from Fuutarou not wanting Raiha to sell his kidneys, and getting smacked in the head by Itsuki's volleyball!
Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, whether it be on FF.N, AO3, Reddit, or on Discord. It was definitely my most-reviewed chapter, and it really meant a lot to me to see all of the reactions to what I'd written (and in particular, the dance and the scenes that came before it). Thank you all so much!
Finally, an announcement. You may have noticed that this chapter took quite a while to come out compared to my usual schedule. I meant to announce this at the end of the last chapter, but frankly, I just forgot to do so: I've been participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) this year, a yearly challenge every November where you try to write a 50,000 word novel in one month.
In my case, I'm writing a 50,000 word fanfiction in one month. It's going to be a Fuutarou x Itsuki fic, called "A Sonata of Solitude". It'll be comprised of five chapters, each about 10,000 words. As you could imagine with writing 50,000 words in one month, there hasn't been a lot of time for editing - so I'll be spending most of December editing the fic and cleaning it up. I plan to begin posting sometime at the end of that month, though I'm not sure of an exact date yet. I hope you'll all check it out once it's live!
Also, I'm doing the challenge alongside Miimbot, the author of "Marching Forward", who's also writing a Fuutarou x Itsuki fic. It's called "Lesson Five". Please consider checking it out once it's released! (Also, if you haven't read Marching Forward... what are you doing?! Go read it!)
Thank you so much for reading - see you all in the next arc!