Ghosts of the Past
Erek pushed his foot down, crushing the Thrall's skull caught beneath it, ceasing its struggle. He ducked beneath the claws of another, coming behind him, twisting and raking his knife across its thin neck. It was left hanging by a few cracked shards of chitin until a sharp jab sent it spiraling into the distance.
That had been the last of them. Erek, after ripping another knife out of the runny remnants of a Knight's eye, started towards the exit. He stepped over the bodies of dozens of dead Hive as he did. He hadn't been able to sleep so, with some convincing, Variks let him into the Prison of Elders to work off his restlessness. It hadn't helped. Physically, he was tired and sore. Ash, dust and burns stained his armor but mentally, he felt as if he could still fight. As if he should be fighting. Fighting and killing; a feeling he had come in here hoping to quench, if just a little.
"We should start getting ready." Eren materialized at his side once he had left the arena, after the door sealed shut behind them. She called a sweat rag down to his waiting hand. "Also the Queen wishes to see us before we depart."
Once that would have prompted some sort of response from him. No longer. He pulled off his helmet and wiped the sweat from his hair and forehead. He could hear Variks locking down the arena just before he left entirely.
Once he returned to his silent and dark room, he packed what little he had brought with him, tossing them into a pack on the bed, giving little mind to where they would best fit. He almost broke the zipper when he pulled it but it closed and that was enough. "I can send it back to the ship, if you like?" Eren offered.
"No," Erek replied softly. She was the only person he bothered to try with anymore. Not even Kayla. Not even Daniel. That should have made him sad but…
He removed his armor and stepped into the bathroom to shower. He washed the sweat and grime away, the water near scalding. Cupping some of it in his hands, he ran it down his face, down his aching eyes and his stubbly chin.
When he looked down at his hands, blood flashed before his eyes. It coated his fingers, dripped from them, just as scalding.
Erek barely blinked.
Erek turned onto a long, empty hall. Two Corsairs stood at its far end, just before a door that was too ornately decorated to belong in a military outpost. She always did demand the finer things. Halfway to the guards and the door, Erek slipped the strap of his pack off his shoulder, let it fall and hit the ground with a loud thud. The Corsairs had lowered their heads in deference to him. The noise hadn't even made them flinch.
The door slid open as soon he stood before it, as if he was being observed. Mara's back was to him, her eyes on a star chart projected into the air. Of what she was tracking, he knew little and cared even less. The entrance slid close behind him, sealing out the ambient noise of the outside world, leaving them in complete silence. He said nothing in terms of a greeting. He didn't wonder where Uldren was.
"The plan moves forward," she said, her quiet yet powerful voice filling his ears. "You and your team have proven more capable than I had originally believed. Well done."
A compliment? He nearly reacted. "Thank you, Queen Mara," he intoned, careful to keep any sort of familiarity out of his voice. He stopped being a Prince a long time ago.
"I do not know who the Vanguard will send through the portal once it is open," she continued, "I do not know if you have made privy either though I doubt you will allow yourself to be left behind. No matter. Regardless of who goes, ensure that it is Aro who encounters the Heart of the Black Garden."
"Is he the only one of us who can kill it?"
"He is the only one who will give any of you a chance at killing it."
"Does he know this?"
"No. And he doesn't need to, though you can tell him if you wish."
His Ghost said she'd contact Kain as soon as they were back on Earth. That settled, he asked, "Is there anything else?"
The star chart disappeared and finally, Mara turned to him, her face an even mask. She gestured to the wall, where lay a bench carved out of the stone. "Take a seat." She wasn't asking. He did as she said, lowering slowly against the solid surface, internal mechanisms keeping it warm in the frigidity of the Outpost. He noted the lack of guards, Awoken or Fallen or even Petra. She wanted privacy. Before he could begin to guess why, she rendered his attempt pointless.
"Tell me how Eren died."
His hand squeezed into fists. His jaw clenched so tightly, he could have chipped a tooth. As if she couldn't see his face, she continued, "I know the basics but not everything."
"And you just need to know everything, don't you?"
"You know the value of information better than most."
"And what…value-"
"Erek." Eren's gentle voice stopped him, before he could say something he regretted. He might have no longer been a Prince but she was still a Queen. His fists were still tight and they refused to relax. Neither would his neck, his shoulders, his jaw. His eyes, down at his feet, swiveled to look at Mara at his right. Not a single muscle in her face had changed in response.
"Yor was running from the authorities after it was revealed that he was behind a series of murders, civilian and Guardian." He did not know why he was speaking. He did not know why he couldn't stop. "He tore a path through the City while fleeing. Eren wasn't the only one who died that day."
He swallowed thickly. "I was just returning home when I heard the shot. I got inside just as he broke through a window to escape." Blood flashed on his fists again. He had tried to go out again, find her help but her hand had wrapped around his wrist with sudden and surprising strength, forcing him to look down at her as blood leaked from the sides of her mouth. Her eyes; the terror in them pierced him like a knife heated over flames. The pain of the memory hurt so deeply, he wondered if it might kill him. She knew what was coming. She knew she had no chance and she did not want to be left alone. Erek's trembling hands loosened little by little.
"Erek."
Her voice pulled him out of his head sharply. His eyes focused on a singular cold teardrop resting on the side of his finger. Several more dropped when he blinked. "She didn't…" he mumbled, "She didn't deserve…"
Mara said nothing to that, letting silence fall over them both. After whatever amount of time she deemed appropriate to let him stew in cold grief, she said, "I admit, Erek, that I worry for you. I see how you thirst for revenge. For blood. I see the very thought of Dredgen Yor's continued existence causes you unbearable pain, day after day. I see the path ahead of you and Erek…" She leaned closer. "It is unsettling."
Finally, Erek's body began to relax. The tension slipped from his neck, his shoulders, his arms, his jaw and he said to her, "I will see him dead. I will hear him beg. I don't care where it leads me."
"Even if it is down the same path as Dredgen Yor?"
"And why do you think it would come to that?"
"Erek, if I knew the intricacies of how one becomes so slavishly ensnared by their own darkest desires that it drives them to do the things he did…" she huffed out a bitter laugh, "I would wish I didn't."
Erek sighed and rose to his feet. He was cold again, within and without. "It doesn't matter," he muttered, "Nothing does. Not anymore."
He started towards the door and left the room, picking up the bag he had dropped in the hallway, still where he left it, all without her leave. She let him.
"Daniel, a moment?"
When Daniel turned slightly, his eyes landed on Queen Mara, approaching him from behind, a small procession of guards behind her. The corridor was dimly lit but quiet. It was unsettling how easily they were able to approach without catching his notice. He turned the rest of the way around and bowed slightly. "Your majesty?"
She never broke her stride; her footsteps were indeed silent. She gestured to the distant entrance to the Vestian hangar, indicating that he should continue on his way. He fell into step just slightly behind her. "I have questions, Daniel. They concern your family."
Daniel almost stopped walking. "My…"
"You've told me about your father, your uncle and some about your mother," she continued, "I would ask about your siblings."
"My siblings, ma'am?"
Her shimmering eyes flicked over to him for just a moment. "Your youngest sibling, in particular. I hear she has been claimed by a Ghost already."
Erek was the first person who came to mind when he thought of who could have told her this. He didn't believe it. Erek wouldn't even discuss himself when asked.
As if reading his mind, she said, "Erek has told me nothing of this and I have never asked him. We do, however, track your comms."
"Of…of course." He just barely managed to keep the bitterness out of his response. "You've heard of my brother, named after our uncle. My older sister, she is a doctor now. Our youngest is named Maya. She was the one claimed by a Ghost."
"How could such a thing happen?"
"I don't know. Ajay, her Ghost, never could explain it properly." In truth, Daniel didn't think there was a true explanation aside from an abnormally powerful instinct.
"But what do you think?" Mara pressed. Daniel kept his eyes down but turned his head slightly when he felt her eyes on him. He met them again, bright, blue and haunting. "For all your stature, Daniel, I know you are no mere brute." She asked again, "Why do you think she was chosen?"
He has thought about it. He never wanted to before and even less so now but he has. How Maya had always had the strangest fascination with the Traveler; more so than any child would. ow, since she was a little girl, it wouldn't have surprised anyone who knew her well that she'd be chosen as a Guardian. This became even more the case when he was found by his own Ghost.
He thought of how she had seen Pride in her dreams. How, in that terrible future, they stormed the Last City. They killed his family. All just to get to her. He thought about how she would barely escape with her life and not without staggering costs. How they brought down the Tower and the Vanguard. How they destroyed the Traveler. How, despite everything, Maya retained her Light. How regular people, powerless in the face of these monsters, opposed them anyway. Opposed them, endured unbearable pain and often died screaming but opposed them anyway.
It was all because of her. She had rallied them. In that future, she still rallied them. All because of her; this child who loved to read, draw and would always excitedly wrap herself around his legs whenever he made time to walk her home from school.
Has it been so long?
"She was always special," Daniel finally answered, his voice barely above the ambient sounds around them. "We just never knew how much." She had called him after their return from the firebase. She asked him about his mission and he could barely focus because of the amount she seemed to know; it was frightening. She had even asked after Erek, if he was doing okay after the injury he had sustained. All he could think as she talked was that she shouldn't know any of this. She was watching them somehow. She was following them somehow. She was always special. He'd likely never know just how much.
She didn't ask him about Aro, at least.
When the massive doors leading into the hangar slid apart, the Queen's escorts stood to the side and bowed. Mara strode on through, Daniel following her towards the docking bay where his ship awaited, prepped for takeoff.
Erek's ship stood beside it and beneath it, Daniel spotted him speaking with the Queen's Wrath, though it was obvious she was doing most of the talking. Erek's dulled eyes narrowed slightly when he noted Daniel with his sister. Daniel opened his mouth to call him over so they could say a proper farewell.
Mara stopped him with a raised hand. "Erek and I have already exchanged words. There is no need."
"I…see." Daniel quickly took a step back and bowed once more. "We thank you for your assistance in this matter, Queen Mara, and your hospitality. We are in your debt once more."
She looked upon him, her eyes as piercing as they always were. "And as I said before, I may call upon you one day to repay it. Not the City," she told him, "You and your clan." Queen Mara turned her back on him and waved her hand; an aloof gesture of farewell. "To your victory, Guardians."
Daniel remained in place until Mara departed from the hangar. Erek walked past, Petra already gone.
"Hey," Daniel called to his back, "We ready?"
"Sure."
Erek disappeared into his ship. Daniel turned and boarded his own while Caesar started their engines. Behind Erek, he let his ship slowly drift out of the hangar, turning and driving it out of range of the outpost's artificial gravity. Daniel could hear the jumpdrive charging to completion, the engines ready, awaiting his command. He wrapped his hand firmly around the thruster.
He didn't push. His shoulder remained annoyingly stiff, his mind racing all the while. He could hear Caesar call his name but it didn't break him from his stupor. Daniel voiced the only thing he could think about; the singular thought keeping him paralyzed.
"What am I going to say to him?"
His Ghost looked upon him with an eye that was almost sad. "You know I can't answer that." If there was a note of exasperation in Caesar's voice, it was forgivable. No one else was as subject to his inner turmoil as his Ghost was. "What do you want to say?" he asked.
What could he say? What could he say that wouldn't make things worse for either of them? He missed Aro. He'd feel safer if Aro kept his distance. He trusted Aro. He never wanted Aro near his family again. He was afraid of Aro and the only other fear that came close was his fear of losing him.
"I don't know." The metal of the lever groaned as Daniel's fingers tightened around it. "I don't…"
"You're going to break it."
He released his grip though the lever had a mild bend to it now. It still moved easily as he pushed the thruster forward, leaving the Reef behind. Daniel simply slumped in his chair and closed his eyes, hoping to sleep the entire ride home.
"You got it?"
"I got it." Crona heaved, pushing the heavy metal plate closer to the frame, relaxing only when she received a satisfying clunk of it locking into place. She'd have to paint it at some point. No dull gray. No Vanguard orange, no matter what her father said. She had some ideas but those were for later. She pulled on heavy gloves and a welding helmet, then picked up the massive blowtorch lying on the work table, turning it on.
She could feel her father's eyes on her as she worked. Aside from the occasional redirection, Zavala did and said little. As promised, he would serve as a guiding hand but this was her weapon to wield and therefore, her responsibility to create.
The Arc engine was still incoming, according to Lakshmi, who Crona still visited, though not as often, given what was ahead. Nearly every other part of the weapon had been procured in the meanwhile, including the heavy metal frame that would insulate its conducting system, allowing it to cycle on itself perpetually while containing the static build-up.
Last but not least, Crona had been presented with an exotic shard. One her father had held onto for years but never found a use for. It was that very morning she had been called up to one of the vault terminals to receive it.
"While we wait on the engine, this should be on you," he had said as he handed her a small, black container. "Get a start on charging it as soon as you can."
She didn't need to open it to know what it was. She had seen plenty but never had one of her own. "How long does it usually take?" She asked, turning it gingerly over in her hands. It was still dark out and the lights surrounding them remained low, so the box was almost invisible in her fingers. But she could feel her Light reacting. She could almost feel the shard's hunger.
"I cannot say but the longer it takes, the more… 'unique' the effect tends to be." His answer took her mind back to Aro and his own shard. He was nearly a year in. "Not letting up," he had answered the last time she asked. Day and night, while he was studying, training or sleeping.
Crona finished the first seal, letting the torch fall quiet. Several still to go and she was already drenched with sweat. The way her arms and neck ached, one would think she had just been put through yet another one of Shaxx's ridiculous personal training sessions. It didn't matter. She took a few moments to shake off some of the pain before reaching for the blowtorch again.
"Crona." Zavala's voice stayed her hand. She turned to look at him, lifting the welding helmet from her eyes. He nodded to the door. "Take a break."
He had a filled and cooled tankard of water with him when she joined him outside, looking over the mountains that bordered the south of the City. She accepted it with a nod, taking nearly half the thing down, not realizing how thirsty she must have been. She brought the flask down and paused to catch her breath, cool mountain wind blowing through her hair and relieving her aches.
"How's mom?" She asked, just to break the silence.
An innocuous-sounding question but he knew perfectly well what she meant. "Things are getting better." That was all he said. As if sensing that Crona hoped for me, he continued, "You know she only worried for you? While you're here, she trusts me to keep you safe and I failed in that."
"You didn't fail, Dad." Guilt and exasperation mixed into the confused tone of her voice.
"But I did," he affirmed, "And that is my burden to bear." He turned his eyes away from the mountainous skyline to look down at her. "I may have forgiven you, Crona. I may be glad for Asura's safe return and I may be glad that so powerful a construct can never be used by the Vex against us but–"
"I know," she murmured, rubbing the back of her neck. As if she wasn't reminded often enough, by the Aegis permanently bound to her Light, by the nightmares she suffered for weeks after, by the consequences she had faced. It had been a foolish thing to do. And she agreed that it was. She'd still do it again in a heartbeat but she agreed.
Somewhere deep down, she felt he knew that. Still, her father gave a short nod. "Good. Your mother does not know the details of your next mission but she knows you need to be there," he said to her, his somber voice carried on the breeze. The rest of the Tower and the City seemed so far away. "All I've been able to promise her is that you'll have good people by your side when you depart." He sighed, "You know as well as I that isn't enough."
Zavala rubbed his chin with one large hand and Crona was suddenly struck by the memory of that hand in her hair. His palm covered the expanse of her entire head.
She didn't want to think about that. When things were, at the very least, simpler. The nostalgia and sadness and fear would overwhelm her, as it often did in the quiet of the night. And she had work to do.
"Your chess games with Josef." The sudden topic change raised her eyebrows. The hint of a mischievous smile threatening to break out across his face raised them even further. "Tell me about them."
"Oh, pfft. They're…they're going pretty good." Somewhere, in the back of her head, her Ghost chuckled. "I'm learning a lot."
"And you are using those lessons to win, right?"
Crona cleared her throat. "I'd say I've had enough of a break, wouldn't you?" She stretched exaggerated fashion and stepped away from the railing, her father's deep chuckle following her as she started to walk away.
She stopped halfway to the Tower Plaza. "Dad?"
He turned to look at her. "I could use some help with this next part, if you have the time."
A smile finally did break out across his face. "I can find an hour or two." He pushed off the railing and walked over to her. "I even know what we can talk about the entire time."
"We don't have to…"
His hand fell onto her head, rocking it back and forth. "No. No, we don't. But…"
—
"Guardian Aro." Xur extended his arms and lowered his head, an air of cool politeness about him. "Always a pleasure. What do you hope to find today?" The merchant asked. There was some measure of anticipation in the way he spoke.
Aro had been in bed for five hours and slept for only one for the fourth night in a row. The well of his patience was bottoming out. "Answers." His response was curt.
All it elicited from Xur was an amused hum. "Of course. And what would you ask of a humble servant such as myself, young Dragon?"
"Don't call-" Aro stopped with a grunt, calming himself. "It's about Asura."
Xur's head cocked to one side. When he remained silent, Aro pressed, "He says you've been avoiding him."
"'Avoid'? A strong word to use for one such as me." He gestured to his own chest.
He was dodging. Aro knew it and Xur knew that he knew it. "Asura needs an exotic shard."
"Two of which you have."
Aro stared at him in silence for a few moments. "I'm not gonna ask how you know that," he said, "Can you provide him one?"
"I provide what the Nine wish you to have," Xur said, lowering his head, almost in reverence. "If I do not have it, it is because the Nine do not believe you need it."
"Who are the Nine to decide what we don't need?"
Xur did something Aro never thought him capable of doing. In response to his question, he laughed; a rough, throaty chuckle. One which surprised and incensed Aro in equal measure.
His mouth opened but Kain came out between them before he could speak again. "He's building a weapon. One that needs an exotic shard and we…" He glanced back at Aro, "Can't really part with ours."
"A hand cannon," Aro muttered once he had collected himself. "Crafted from…old memories, he tells us. Someone else's old memories."
Xur had ceased his laughter when Kain began to speak but the silence that passed after Aro told him the reason was profound; palpable even. The tentacles projecting from Xur's head seemed to slow in their undulation. He had ceased his bodily heaving movements. His eyes were unblinking and his hands had been pulled into his chest, twitching only slightly.
Aro and Kain shared a glance. "Xur?" Kain tried. The merchant's entire body jolted. He seemed to snap out of it, remembering where he was and who he was talking to.
Aro looked him up and down. "The hell is wrong-"
Xur cut Aro off. "Nothing," he rasped quickly, his eyes everywhere else except for who he was speaking to. Then, he said, "I will…consider your request."
He was gone before Aro could push. He disappeared in the span of a blink, not a sound or sign to indicate his departure. Kain floated over to the space he once inhabited. He turned back to Aro. "Was it something we said?"
"Aro?"
Kain disappeared. Aro turned to find May, one foot on the stairs that led out of the hangar. Aro looked back at the spot Xur had been standing once more before shaking his head clear. He began to jog over to her but something in her face made him want to slow down.
She seemed to notice it as well because her face returned to its original neutral state. "Were you just talking to someone?" Her eyes flit behind him and back, brow furrowed in confusion.
"I…" He was unsure of how honest he should be. "Asura's been looking for an exotic shard but he's having trouble finding Xur. That's who I was just talking to."
The disbelief in her eyes was badly hidden. "A shard?"
"For a weapon he's making, yes."
"Well, I'll let him know if I hear anything." May smiled politely and started up the stairs again, almost jogging. Aro had to do the same just to catch up with her. In the meanwhile, she kept her eyes on the ground and her hands clasped behind her back. She strode out into the plaza and the open sun.
Aro continued to follow. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"
"Nothing," she said quickly, "Nowhere, I mean. Just…getting some things done." May still refused to meet his eyes or slow her stride.
Right, it wasn't his business. "I've been meaning to ask…" Her eyes flicked towards him and quickly away. "How have you been since Mars?"
That neutral expression her face held slipped just for a moment, made all the more obvious by how quickly it snapped back into place. "I'm fine," she said. She turned to him, her bright blue eyes suddenly sad. "What about you?"
He blinked, surprised. "Me?" He repeated.
"You went down. Hard. Then, you woke up…"
"I remember," he said, though he regretted how curt the words came across. The blasts of Light he had been throwing out so casually hurt his head just from the memory of them.
"Right." May started walking again, slower this time, as if she was letting Aro walk with her. "Is there anything else you remember? About your past?" She asked.
He looked down at her. "You know I don't," he said hesitantly, the sudden change in topic surprising him. She had never shown any interest before. "I never have."
"And that hasn't changed?" The avoidant demeanor May had put forth before dropped. She was persistent now. There was even a slight, desperate rise in her voice. Not at all? Not even after meeting Pride? He's"
He cut her off as gently as he could, before she could say what he thought she was going to say. "No. Nothing, May. Believe me, I wish I did."
A small sigh fell from her nose. Her shoulders sagged in disappointment. "Nothing about the Moon?"
"The Moon?" It took some time to click. "You mean Marie?"
May said nothing, just stared at him.
Her silence was confirmation enough. "Look, I had nothing to do with that-"
This time, she cut him off. "You're right. You didn't." She shook her head, her eyes turning down to her feet again. "Forget it. I have to go, Aro." She started to walk away, faster than before, leaving him alone and feeling as if he had just done something wrong.
"Your control is improving."
Aro muttered only a quick thanks. To his credit, the sudden sound of Ikora's voice didn't break his concentration. The swirling sphere of Void Light floating between his hands shrank and grew at his whim. He sat, cross-legged, on the floor with his back to the entrance. Movement continued behind him as Ikora replaced borrowed tomes and took up new ones.
"You're nervous." Ikora wasn't asking.
The sphere trembled and Aro huffed out a humorless laugh. "How'd you guess?"
"Bringing and holding a piece of the Void in one's hands. Helps control your emotions, your thoughts. Aashir used to do the same," she said, "As did Osiris."
The sphere trembled again. He hadn't missed the comparisons to Osiris. Still, he admitted, "Yes, I am nervous." He brought his hands closer until they pressed together and the Void Light between them had been snuffed out. "More than the fight we've got coming, I can't shake this feeling that…everything is gonna change," he said, hunching over and resting his elbows on his knees. "Given our luck, I don't see it being for the better."
Ikora hummed. She let the silence remain for a few seconds more. Then, she asked, "How are you getting along with the others?"
"The others?" He repeated like a frame. "Everything's fine with the others."
He knew why his first instinct would be to lie. What made no sense was why he would follow it, with Ikora of all people. The same thought appeared to have occurred to her, as he could feel her incredulous stare burning into the back of his head. "'Fine'?" She asked, "Your clan finds out the person responsible for all we've been through is your identical twin and every one of them is at peace with it?"
Aro murmured, "He's not the sole person."
"No, I suppose he is not. It must be a heavy burden to bear."
Aro only shrugged. Was a burden heavy if he never knew anything else? Aro could recall a few short months in his second life when he wasn't plagued with knowledge of the Heralds and he could do only that, recall. On the best of days, those times felt as if they were centuries ago and on the worst, Aro would wonder if he had only dreamed of them.
"You don't have to talk about it with me," his teacher continued. He could hear her footsteps drawing closer. "The others. They have the right to feel as they do."
Aro felt a firm hand come down on his shoulder. "What they do not have," she said, "Is the right to your suffering."
He swallowed. "I know," Aro whispered. He knew because May had said the same thing to him. Look where they are now.
"What they also do not have the right to do is hinder you. Whether you wish to believe it or not, you are on a good path, Aro," she told him, "Working here with us, fighting to protect the Last City. Not for praise or forgiveness but because it is the right thing to do."
There isn't always forgiveness. But there is redemption. Aro recalled his own words, said as much to himself as they were to Wrath(A). Saying them never stopped him from believing that there were limits. That he was an exception.
Ikora's comforting hand left him and soon, so did she, departing with instructions for him not to remain there too long. They'd attack the Black Garden soon. She wouldn't accept him spending these last few days hiding from the world.
Aro stood up and left a few minutes after she did, turning off the lights. He stepped into a dim hallway, the lights lowered as Tower personnel departed from their duties for the day. If nothing else, he was grateful for the quiet.
That quiet remained uninterrupted until he was standing before the door to his quarters. Kain had him stop so he could tell him that Daniel and Erek were only two hours away from the City and more so than that, that it was Daniel himself who had sent the message.
Anticipation was balanced out by dread, filling him in equal measures. The result left him feeling only numb.