Have you ever had the problem of trying not to curse in front of the kids, but then remembering she is already old enough to do exactly that when you're not listening?

Fuck.

Would Lucina ever forgive me?

If so, would I deserve it?

Can I do better in this timeline while secretly juggling parenting duties?

How long until someone else notices Kellam is here with us?

…

These were the worries that plagued me as our convoy rolled down the meandering Northroad. Surrounded by the gentle plains of Aurelis on both sides, the road connected the Archanean core to Eastern Ferox, passing through some of the Halidom's most fertile grain-growing regions.

The Shepherd's main convoy currently consisted of three transport wagons in line ahead.

I had Sully and Stahl ride ahead as scouts – which would have to do until we got some air power – and Kellam bringing up the rear, wearing just his chainmail. Somehow, no one has noticed him, or his bulky plate armour which is sitting in the rearmost wagon.

For less than a dozen of us, three wagons is rather excessive, but we can't exactly go on a diplomatic mission empty handed, hence the longer than usual baggage train.

It's been two days of smooth sailing since we split with out Ylisstol guard escorts, Miriel was expected to join us sometime today after finishing another errand in the area, and I was currently resting in the lead wagon, after re-casting [Haste] on all of us in the morning. The perfect time to stew in my dark thoughts if I do say so myself.

Pretending to have amnesia for the past few days has been an… interesting experience to say the least. Not that I didn't have experience doing so; no, I seriously doubted anyone else has had experience with retrograde amnesia, and experience faking it. The problem was the strangeness from knowing all the Shepherds when they didn't yet know me. Friends, comrades, traitors, … and let's not continue that line of thought.

In other news, the team sans Frederick, has been more receptive to my joining. More so than last time around anyways, although being less socially awkward probably helps.

I was still planning to schedule some one-on-one meetings with everyone, with the goal of sorting out some old issues before they have a chance to surface in this timeline. Before I could ponder this deeper, my thoughts were interrupted by a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"(Psst. Hey, Robin!)" Whispered Lissa from behind my shoulders.

I sensed Lissa sneak onto the wagon earlier, my eyes were closed so it must have looked like I was sleeping.

Should I play along?

"…Zzz…"

"(Roobin? Are you sleeeeping?)"

The classic rhetorical question. I held my silence and took another slow breath. Five seconds went by before Lissa felt confident to continue.

"(Hee hee! Perfect! Looks like it's time to quiiietly...)"

And the jig was up.

My eyes snapped open. In a fluid motion I cast a practised [Telekinesis] to bind both of Lissa's hands before she could drop that frog down my collar and pulled her shoulders in with my other arm.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, princess. Wouldn't you rather have my help when setting up pranks instead of the other way around?"

"Teehee!"

"Don't you 'teehee' me! … As you can see, I am awake, so what's up?"

I had released my hold on her hands at this point, which opened to reveal a small earthen coloured frog cupped within, no larger than a copper coin.

I didn't know enough about frog biology to say if these were a different species from the larger palm sized frogs one typically imagines, or if they were just juveniles of the same species. Nevertheless, these small ones in particular are commonly found in springtime, hopping around near streams and even large puddles.

"Weeell, nothing much. I just wanted to chat with you, Robin. It's been sooo long since another girl joined us – no wait, you're actually the first! Me, Sully, and Sumia are all founding members of the Shepherds, and Maribelle was an unofficial member since the start too."

"Fufu… Sure, I am happy to chat. So long as you put that frog away." To which Lissa obliged and released the small amphibian.

"And what about Miriel?" I continued, "I have not been introduced to her in person yet, but was Mirel also a founding member?

"Oh, silly me, Miriel is technically on-loan from the Royal Academy, some department of eggheads I don't remember, but I don't think she has decided to officially join us."

"I see. I assume this was caused by the lack of mages in the Shepherds –"

"Yup. But now you're here Robin! You zapped those bandits real good! No offense to Miriel but all she talks about is research this, research that, so we're not exactly close."

"Heh, I suppose I'll do my best to live up to your expectations for conversation."

"Yes! So, what do you do for fun, Robin? Do you have a hobby? Dreams? Anyone you like?"

"Well you're in luck because I'm rediscovering these things about myself! Let's see – I guess like reading – that's probably what I've been doing the most outside of work-related duties. And I like maps, really, really like maps. Not sure what else though, I am open to trying new things."

To be fair, I wasn't exactly omitting a ton of details for my amnesia act. My past life left little room for pursuing hobbies outside of work or parenting, and I did plan to correct that this time around.

"Wow, I guess that makes sense. Must be hard to be a tactician if you didn't like maps."

I nodded along in agreement as Lissa continued, "Then what about goals and dreams? Robin, you seem like you would be the type to plan everything out."

"What is this, a job interview?" I quipped sarcastically, "you know what they say – 'no plan survives first contact with the enemy' – I'm pretty sure you never planned to meet someone like me asleep on the ground."

"Okay, buuut, even if the plan doesn't survive contact you still make a plan right?"

"You catch on quick. Yep. For now, I don't plan on going anywhere. Chrom welcomed me, a foreigner with no background and no memories. He's been good to me, you've been good to me, … and even Frederick is already starting to mellow out.

"Even just objectively speaking, I would much rather have stable employment here for the foreseeable future rather than living as a wandering sellsword – which is probably what I was, given my skills and equipment when we met. So you can say my goals are Chrom's goals, and my dreams are Chrom's dreams – that's one of the marks of a great leader, someone who can inspire others to share in their dream."

"Oooooo! That sounds so fancy! But don't you want to recover your memories? Or find out if you have any friends or family waiting for you?"

"Thanks for your concern. If I did then I'm sure someone who knows me would come find me, I don't exactly blend in here in Ylisse. The me right now, I don't have any attachments to my hypothetical parents."

A bold-faced lie.

If anything, I am too attached to my past. Although that reminds me, I should write a letter to Tiki, and I do need to decide how to deal with that bastard Validar.

Added to the to-do list.

"I get what you mean," came the reply from Lissa, "I never really knew my parents... I was too young to remember."

"Do you ever wish you did?"

"Hm?"

"-Know them better, I mean. In hindsight, would you rather have known your parents better, been older when they passed, or not? Just curious."

"I… … wow, I never expected our chat to go in this direction –"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to, I was being insensitive."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I know you didn't mean anything by it. I was just caught off guard, you really have a way with people Robin."

"From my perspective, I can't say I agree, but maybe you have a point."

"Hehe, I've come up with an answer. The answer is no. I would not rather have known my parents better."

"Go on-"

"You know, Emm is older than Chrom by almost six years, and older than me by nine. She practically raised us as our mother. I wish Emm didn't have to take on this responsibility at such a young age, but its because I want Emm to be happy. I think Chrom might feel a bit differently, but I just can't really be sad about parents I never knew. Especially knowing the horrible things my father did."

We sat in silence for a few moments, only accompanied by the rocking of the wagon, before Lissa continued, "Robin? Is it weird? Do you think I'm weird for not caring?"

"No, I don't think you're weird for thinking that way, Lissa. Theres no right or wrong answer here."

"I hope you're right. Naga's teaching says –"

"Hold it. I'm no theologist, but you are your own person first and foremost. Being true to yourself should come before being true before the eyes of Naga. Besides, I doubt Naga's teachings would have you prioritize the dead before the living."

"How would you know better, I studied from the church since I was ten, and I still never manifested the brand!"

"I don't, but no one doubts your legitimacy, Lissa. I don't, and I'm sure speaking to Exalt Emmeryn about this will help you sort out these feelings. Look, I never intended to pry into this, but if you're so concerned, why don't we visit the Mila tree and ask the Voice of Naga about this? I'm sure the Shepherds will get an opportunity to go sooner or later."

"How can we ask the Voice for such a trivial thing?"

"Trust me. I'll make it work. I swear as the best tactician you'll ever have!"

In truth, I know Tiki will be happy to oblige, it was just a matter of getting her involved in this whole thing.

"Pfft. You're the only tactician we ever had."

"I'm undefeated too."

"For what, two out of two battles?"

"With more to come!"

With that, Lissa burst into a fit of giggles, and the laughter was so infectious I couldn't help but chuckle as well. This was better progress than I expected, I managed to bring Lissa back from the brink of tears and even exposed a small gap in church doctrine.

Though I quickly berated myself for celebrating too soon. Was it not my own fault she was on the brink of tears to begin with? All it took was another whole timeline's worth of knowing someone just to barely succeed. On the other hand, I did actually have amnesia the last time round'…

…

With the tension broken, our banter continued into the day, even including a discussion about the merits of bear meat versus frog meat. Somehow there was now a rumor going around that I was some kind of bear connoisseur. Frogs taste way too swampy. I rest my case.

Before long, the conversation had shifted back towards that topic.

"Sooo Robin, you still haven't answered me yet. Is there anyone you're interested in? You know what I mean." She said with a wink.

Cute. Moments like this makes Lissa feel even younger than she already is.

"No Lissa," I sighed, "I have spoken to less than a dozen men total since waking up in that field so no, there has not been enough time to realistically consider courting anyone."

"Come 'on, don't deny it, I've seen you sneaking glances at Chrom when he's not looking~"

"Okay, fine I admit it. I was staring at Chrom. Chrom is good looking, but I have professional standards! Just because I talk to him a lot for work - doesn't mean anything!"

"Y'know," Lissa leaned in, "There is a fanclub of at least fifteen noble ladies of marriageable age back home who are after my brother, you better hurry before its too late~"

"You know better than me just how dense Chrom is to these things. Just the other day he said he doesn't even think of me as a lady!"

"Oof. Should I slap him for you, or did you already…"

"No need. I threatened violence, but I wasn't going to go through with it. Even if Chrom wasn't my boss."

"If you say so. But at this rate, the dork might never get married!"

"Are you asking me specifically for help with this, or are you just asking any eligible lady to take a stab at it?"

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'm on your side Robin! You're the first girl Chrom has felt comfortable with since, like, forever! And Sully doesn't count. Everyone knows they don't see each other that way."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. But why not support Sumia? She's far more politically viable than me."

"You might not know this, but Sumia has been trying for the past four years by now. The court gossip circle says Sumia has the best shot, and its not exactly wrong, but Chrom has never responded to her advances, nor anyone else's."

"Four years and nothing!?"

This was certainly new information. In the previous timeline I felt Sumia was a much stronger contender, but then again, I didn't even acknowledge my own feelings for almost six months…

"I mean, Chrom gets flustered whenever a pretty girl approaches him like that, but no one has ever seen anything more. Emm has turned down any arranged marriage proposals for Chrom up until now, but she says she can't deny the nobles for much longer, especially since Emm is still unmarried."

"That's… good to know. I shall gratefully accept your blessing, Lissa. On the other hand, what about yourself? Anyone you fancy yet?

"Noope. All the guys I've met are so booring. Just playing matchmaker for my brother is enough work already."

"You never know, you might find love just around the corner."

"Wanna bet?"

"Alright, lets set the time limit for one month. What do I get if I win?"

"If you're right and I find a crush in one month, I'll call you big sis."

"Isn't that what you're trying to do anyways?"

"Yep! I call it little sister privilege!"

"And if you win?"

"You help me with pranks for a whole month!

"Deal, as long as it doesn't interfere with work."

"Deal!"

Objectively, this little bet appeared to be purely in Lissa's favor, but as some wise man once said: in war, if you're not cheating then you're not trying hard enough – and love is war. The scales were already tipped in my favour.

While I technically have knowledge of future events, including knowledge of romantic relationships between the Shepherds, this is no sure victory. After all, there's no telling what events have already changed as a result of our time travel.

My musings were rudely interrupted by a splotch of red IFF tags lining the edge of my [map]. Speak of the devil. We definitely didn't encounter any enemies during the same trip last time. The movements on the map resemble Risen, but they definitely aren't mine.

Time to get to work. The vanguard should be reporting back with a positive identification in a couple minutes.

"Lissa," I turned to her with a serious tone, "Go get your staff and prepare for battle. Quickly."

Without waiting for a response, I hopped off the wagon, and shouted, "ALL UNITS, SLOW TO QUARTER SPEED!", before running up the column, keeping an eye on the active [map] in my vision. Given the small size of our group, it only took a few seconds to reach my destination.

"Chrom! We have a situation."

"Robin, what is going on?"

"Enemy contact, composition unknown. Maybe ten minutes out by our previous pace. I need you to rally the troops while I draw up a plan."

"Unknown enemies? There shouldn't be bandits this far north… unless…"

"No point thinking about it now. Stahl should be returning with more details in just a minute."

Chrom nodded in acknowledgement, and we went about our separate ways to perform our duties.

I just love how Chrom doesn't try to challenge my casual tone with him, even now that he is technically my superior (at work). Too many lives have been lost due to inflated egos unwilling to accept orders from me in the past. Regardless of my amnesiac act, I know I can't help but act familiar with Chrom. From my perspective we have been married for years after all, so in spite of what happened I still want to… nevermind.

It didn't take long to find a suitable hiding place just off the road. I ordered the convoy to a halt while everyone geared up. Then I left a set of instructions for Kellam, in case anyone needed to fall back to the convoy, and then went about setting a bounded field behind the grove of trees I had chosen to be our parking spot.

By the time I returned to the main group, Stahl had already returned and reported the situation, confirming my initial assessment: two dozen or so Risen scattered around a bridge to the north, aggressive, but otherwise ill equipped and unwilling to give chase. A glance at my [map] confirms Sully's position on a small hill overlooking the Risen markers.

Quickly making the decision to eliminate the threat, Chrom faced the assembled Shepherds and announced the mission details, "Everyone, remember what we're up against! For some of you this is the first time fighting these Risen, stay on guard!"

"Mya ha!" Vaike piped up, "They'll remember ME once I drive my axe into their... Wait... My axe. Where's my axe?! I had it a second ago!"

"Vaike, this is no time for jokes…"

"I'm serious! It's gone, but I JUST had it! It's got to be around here somewhere…"

"Keep to the rear, then!" Turning to me, Chrom gestured, "What next, Robin?"

"Thank you Chrom."

I had recovered from the Vaike-induced facepalm in time to see Miriel's green IFF marker pop up on the other end of my [map].

Perfect.

"I'll keep this brief:

"One, you've all been briefed on fighting Risen. Do not underestimate them. Risen can, in short bursts, move faster and hit harder than humanly possible. They usually do not have a sense of self-preservation and must be decapitated to stay dead.

"Two, if you hear my voice in your head, don't panic, its just my [Telepathy] spell. Speak back normally and I will hear you.

"Lastly, I want two files, Chrom and I will take the center; Frederick on our left flank; Stahl, join Sully on the right flank; Lissa and Virion, stay in the backline and shoot at your own discretion; Vaike, guard the back until we loot you a weapon – then be ready to join the front."

A chorus of "Understood", "I'll do my best!", "Of course milady", and "You can count on the Teach!" came back at me. I allowed myself to crack a smile at their enthusiasm.

This should be good experience for the team.

Trivia Corner

Game be like: Route the enemy.

Dimitri: KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!

Contrary to what IS tries to tell you, routing the enemy does not mean killing everything in sight. All human fighters will have morale, which is a measure of their willingness to continue fighting.

In most battles, the objective is to deplete the enemy's morale, such that they surrender or flee from battle – this is known as routing the enemy. This may be accomplished by defeating or capturing the enemy commander, or it may also be achieved by a show of overwhelming force. However, some foes such as Risen do not have morale and will continue fighting until they lay dead or are ordered to retreat. In these cases, 'route the enemy' does become 'kill all'.

Also [Haste] is basically a longer duration [Rally Movement]. Both spells belong to dark magic, the main difference is that {Haste} is commonly seen in a commercial/transport situation, to speed up travel, while [Rally Movement] is a core part of dark flier formation tactics, used to increase the weight of their charge in short bursts.

AN

Regarding Lissa's reaction - theres a fan theory of how it is tradition for the Ylissean royal children to each be educated in statecraft for the eldest, military affairs for the second, and religion for the third child. At this point in the story, Lissa is the youngest member of the Shepherds, with a sizeable chunk of her education tied to the Church of Naga.

Theres an implicit assumption that Sumia was ordered to stay behind with the convoy, and this benching might be somewhat routine for her since she is trained as a pegasus knight at level one but somehow doesn't have a pegasus to use until chapter 3. To be fair, its not like the Shepherd's duties exclusively revolve around combat, its just that gameplay does, so it gives a rather biased impression.

I also realized that at the time of writing, Vaike is the only Shepherd who has not been added to FEH. In case you are one of those readers who haven't played or watched FE Awakening but decided to read this far, I am flattered you want to keep going, but just go look him up or something.