Thanks to Tif S and Ally J Horan for reviewing.
Happy new year! Or gott nytt år as I usually say. I hope you've all had a merry Christmas. As I'm writing this, I'm a bit over an hour into 2024. So I hope everyone has a nice year.
And as usual I start this year with working on each of my stories at once.
Charlotte POV
In the terrible weather that had gone over Middleton I had had to find somewhere where I could at least stay inside…
Somewhere like Grey House, but still, with the storm roaring outside, most of the time I found myself on the hotel bed, wrapped in a Fleece pyjama and a fuzzy blanket only staring right ahead of me.
Maybe if I just kept doing this, not causing any trouble for anyone I could stay here until I had actually figured what to do next…
Knock, knock, knock.
I could have jumped high when one day, my second full day at Grey House there was suddenly a knock on my door.
Something told me it was only Cassie bringing me some tea or something to eat, I would have only shouted for her to come in but something made me get up on stiff legs and went over to the door.
"Yes?"
Waiting at my door definitely wasn't Cassie.
And it took me several seconds, maybe as much as five minutes of just looking into those blue, blue eyes to actually realize that this wasn't my mind playing tricks on me.
"Jace?!"
Before anything else I found myself throwing my arms around his shoulders and holding him close. It felt like I had been waiting a thousand years for this, to wait for him to wrap his arms back around me and never ever wanting to let go.
Still it felt like yesterday, but when I finally had to take a step back and I knew…
"It won't be so easy though? Will it?"
"No." Jason, my former best friend agreed and then looked away from me. "It won't... My room is right across Grey House's hallways from here... As long as this weather lasts it will be hard for any of us to leave. But if you never want to see me again then I'll hide in my room until the storm's over and then run...
"NO." I found myself almost yelling. "I mean... it's been so long..." I brainstormed for anything to say or ask. "...How are you?"
I could only hope it didn't sound as lame as it sounded to me.
Jason shrugged slightly while seeming to force a smile, after I had known him so well for so long...
"Been better?"
"Been better!"
Already now, only looking at Jason whom I hadn't met in so long there was something new, or at least something that hadn't been there the last time I saw him. And it wasn't just the woman that had constantly been by his side before.
"Is Alexa here with you?"
"No…" Jason peered a bit, as if the one mention of her name was enough but he didn't exactly want to say more. "…We're not together anymore… Look Charlie… I.. I just wanted to say… I needed… I'm sorry."
Speaking in between us had never been so hard before.
"You're sorry? I'm sorry! I shouldn't have just… left."
Thoughts about everything that had happened in between us, after I really thought we had been the best of friends were spinning in my mind.
"I shouldn't have just let you go like that Jace…"
"You were the only one I ever let you call me that."
It had just been easier….
But when I looked into his eyes, as my memories kept flowing back to me. How I had known all along what Alexa had to do with him, how I had stood up and walked away…
"We could literally stand here for hours only going back and forth with apologies." I tried to joke. "But… I know what I did wrong…"
"You didn't do anything!"
"I should have been by your side, no matter what would happen and no matter what anyone thought of it."
"And what would you think Alexa would have thought about me then?"
"I'm so tired of hearing that name! Please don't even mention that name ever again… I… I just can't believe it took me so long before I saw her for what she was worth. I can't understand I can't…." Jason stopped talking, then took a deep breath. "Well, since you're going to be wondering anyway what went wrong…" He made a pause to sigh again. "She was pregnant. And as I thought it was my baby I was over the moon. All I ever dreamed about was my own family but still there was that worry and the thought of having to spend the rest of my life with Alexa… then the baby was born… and he was black!"
"No." I gasped. "Oh my god… Alexa!"
Silence fell in between myself and Jason again, more than ever it felt like we had been spending a thousand years apart.
"And then, just like that everything she had ever done came flooding back to me… And I couldn't even understand why it would have taken me so long… and well. That's a very long story made very short…"
And there was so much pain shining from Jason's eyes!
We had both had so much trouble within our families. I wanted nothing more than to have a child and family of my own and I knew somewhere down the line Jason had experienced the same wishes. I knew that no matter how much I hated Alexa for doing that to him, what I could imagine was nowhere close…
"Then the thing is… I'm relieved… Anyway. Enough about that… It's like… you know. I don't know whether I believed in signs like these or anything. But if we say, just for a minute- that I do. Maybe the whole meaning was for me to see Alexa for who she really was… And really, no one could have any way to still think that that baby was mine… And this whole… mess… maybe there was a way for me to know I had to start over."
Jason stopped talking and sunk back towards a desk chair on the other side of the room…
And all of the feelings I had had once, for him were roaring up inside of me. I wanted him to come closer, closer, closer. Wanted to take Alexa and everything around her and throw away everything that had hurt him so bad.
Everything I had felt for him before and now it was back times ten thousands.
…That little baby…
"Yeah." Was the only thing I could start of saying at last. "…Start over…"
Daniel POV
"Daniel? It was Daniel right?"
I was about halfway up the stairs when I heard two girl's voices calling out for me, and turning around I found the two older sisters of the family staying in the room next to ours on Grey House.
"Yes…" I answered a bit hesitantly. "…Daniel… Why the wonder?"
"It was your sister's birthday today?" The oldest and dark-haired of the girls asked. "Right? How old is she?"
"Yes, and thirteen."
The two girls were smirking as if they were sharing a secret only sisters could. It was making me nervous that I couldn't know what they were both planning and that it obviously had something to do with my sister's birthday."
"Well…" The dark-haired seemed like the more talkative one of them. "…We can't go and buy anything. But we think that Cassie's making a cake and maybe having at least one party here this afternoon. And of course we wanted to give her some gifts, so… what things does she like?"
"Of course…" I agreed with her. "She likes a lot of things but most of all I don't think she'd like any reminding. A party, any gifts or anything…"
It passed my mind how much our mum had enjoyed birthdays, how much she had celebrated Kara right before Christmas and me in March. All of that month even before we came close to the day. All of her celebrations and each onesie was far from the only thing. She spent all year buying us gifts for Christmas and birthdays and we'd wake up to a mountain of them and a cake almost our own height.
This was only Kara's second birthday after mum passed away just over a year ago. Who could have blamed her for hating her birthday- and never letting anyone celebrate it ever again.
But when those two girls' smiling faces looked so brightly up on me, eager for celebrations and the disappointed looks on their faces when I said they shouldn't do anything for it. I just couldn't cause that.
"Like you just said we can't go and buy anything.." I said. "But well. If you come up with anything…. She likes writing and music. Writing music… animals, piano, Pokémon, Harry Potter, bright colours... Making her a card will do more than enough."
Both of the girls just smirked at me- did I really think they would be happy with each handmade card? I took a step to the side so the girls could run past me and disappeared around the corner and out of my sight.
Seeing them only reminded me of how fast they moved- and how slowly and stiffly I did. Damn, this cold wasn't doing my body any good! Every single muscle and joint were aching…
I found my sister, sitting with one of her, almost all filled up notebooks on her lap and writing something. I wasn't about to try and check what she was writing. Whatever she did was her private thoughts and I saw her making notes around them, a sign that she was making them of sheet music and not only poems.
What wouldn't I have given for my sister to have that chance to play her music for real- I knew there was nothing she'd want more! Or at least if it was the right people listening to her, I had quite a few memories of her playing to our mum or me…
Then mum had died, and it had been all silent for almost a year.
I could have watched her only sitting like that for hours but my position had my legs cramping even worse than before…
"You seem a bit restless…" Cassie was in the hallway when I started moving back up the stairs and despite spotting her I jumped "…Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you… I just thought you seem restless walking around… Is there anything I can do for you, except for letting you go outside? I'm guessing if there are any pains or stiffness in your body the cold isn't doing it any good?"
"You'd be guessing it… correct!" I tried to smirk as of a joke. "But I'm okay. Keeping moving helps... It sounded like those two girls wanted to make a birthday celebration for my sister. So I'll be getting my gift… maybe we can set something up in the living room or the kitchen if that's alright. If it doesn't make too much of a problem."
"It certainly will not. But if you could try and keep Kara away from there from about half an hour before the girls wants to put up their celebration."
I didn't comment on it, but it was just that I knew very well Kara wouldn't like a big celebration. Although with those two girls, and whole of Grey House filled with people I had a feeling that things might end up the way things they wanted them, rather than taking it down a notch.
"Hello…" Their grandmother passed me in the stairs. "…Look. Is it's not too much trouble. Can you try and keep an eye on your granddaughters. I think they're about to cause the loudest, biggest birthday party for my sister. And she just doesn't like that." Alice smiled kindly at me. "I hope I'm not disappointing anyone I'm just trying to look out for my sister."
"It's okay… Taylor and Remi are just… girls. You can understand I was the same when I was their age. But I'll keep an eye on them. And you seem to be doing a fine job as a big brother… Now, if you'll excuse me I think I'll try and sort out a gift for her myself." I was on the stairs but took a step to the side so she could pass me. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, fine. Just trying to make up my mind about whether I should go up or down…"
"If you want to." Alice disappeared up the stairs and out of my sight and Cassie returned. "I'll let you and Kara stay in a room here on the ground floor. You won't have to go so much up and down the stairs and you can get away from your dad who wants the room freezing cold… I'll sort it without any extra cost. A Christmas gift if you want to."
"I… I…"
I didn't want to make too much of a fuss, and I didn't want to leave Kara alone in a single room with our dad. Then, we couldn't go out into the storm and buy any Christmas gifts…
"George can help us some to make sure Kara has somewhere too. Because I'm pretty sure there's only your dad that enjoys the cold."
Well… why not?
"If you're sure it's no bother."
"If it was I wouldn't suggest it… as well, there's a bathroom right there…" She pointed. "I can see you're in pain so I'd think a warm bath would do you good…"
"Mhm. Sounds great." I was starting to realize there was no talking back to her. All Cassie wanted to do was care. "But… is that your way of saying that you think I smell and want to do something about it?" Cassie just shook her head. "I… I'll just go upstairs and get some other clothes. Might as well be and smell clean before my sister's party when it's happening tonight."
"I'll go and set the bath filled up."
I didn't even try and protest. But slowly making my way back up the stairs I was suddenly reminded of Kara's birthday gift that laid on the side pocket of my bag. It was a pink mp3 player with white headphones that I had found on a jumble sale a couple of weeks ago. Kara would like it for sure and if what dad wanted to do was for us to play happy families, going on vacation for Christmas so if those girls wanted to set up a party for Kara I might as well hide this and wrap it until then.
Right now I just laid it on my bed to wait and laid a piece of birthday wrapping paper on top to hide it, then grabbed some new clothes and a towel before I went downstairs and to where Cassie had pointed.
"I found those…" She pointed to a basket of orange and black basket of something that looked like a man's spa set. "So…. Well… I hope you have a nice time…" Cassie left the room and I closed and locked it behind her before looking over what was in the basket.
I smiled to myself as there was a bottle of something called "Fresh Citrus bubble bath." So all I had to do was to pour it in and then get undressed. To have a bath full of bubbles was something that I hadn't had for years. I really was more impressed by it than a little kid…
Remi POV
Couldn't you have been sick instead of your sister, Remi? Instead you hung all around school while our friend was missing for weeks with mono. We all just wish you didn't come to school at all…
"Remi? Ramona? Are you in here?"
I pushed my phone in under the pillow I sat next to and forced my breath not to start hyperventilating when I read what Addison from school had written to me. It was true though- Taylor had had mono right before we even thought about going to Middleton. And along with washing our hands properly to prevent spreading it, we all had gone to school normally like always. No matter what Addison or anyone else thought of me being there.
"Are you okay?" My grandfather asked, standing in the doorway to my, Cammie and Taylor's room. "You're not on your phone again are you?"
If there was anything Addison had let me know lately. It was that I could never tell anyone- any adult about what she did to me.
"No." I lied. "Of course not. I just forgot the pencil case I was giving to her."
"I hope you're not giving her all of your backpack and everything." Grandpa moved away from the door as soon as I had grabbed a wrapped gift with a pencil case in it. An excuse for me to come back here right before Kara's party.
"Of course not. I'm not giving away the big backpack and that's the best piece, or that mini backpack. I also keep one pencil cases and the rain cover. I'm only giving away the gymnastics backpack, I don't need it anymore anyway. And the pencil case. And then that all makes a perfect gift for Kara. Daniel told us she likes animals so… let's just hope she likes Arctic ones. Like the pictures on the backpack. And the penguin on the pencil case… sch!"
We entered the living room where almost everyone stood around- everyone except for Daniel who had kept Kara away from here from the past half hour. And on the table there was a small pile of wrapped gifts and an empty space where a cake could be put.
"I don't know…" I heard Daniel's voice just as I laid the wrapped gift with a pencil case on the table and he was obviously talking to someone the rest of us couldn't see. "…They wanted to know something more about what to get you. But none of us can go outside and buy something. Maybe a coupkle of them found something…" Both he and Kara both silent. But we heard their footsteps coming closer, and I wasn't the only one holding my breath until.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARA!
She hadn't as much as entered the room when all of us yelled at the top of our lungs. And for a few seconds she only stood in front of us and stared over the lot of us over and over while Cassie carried in a white cake with candles and we all sang.
Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear Kara
happy birthday to you
Kara at last smiled and blew out the candles while we had finished singing to her. Then looked towards Daniel, who I remembered had told us not to make too much fuss about her birthday. But how could we not? There were still two months left until our family's next birthday (Cammie in February) so it would be so long. And we could only do so much in here. I was really hoping Kara would like it after all.
"I helped out making this cake…" Keira's dad said. "It's one big mess of counting and weighing. So it is ketogenic… You can have a piece Keira. Because I know you really like cake… But I hope you're okay with all of your meals, even your birthday cake being keto…"
I really didn't get what he meant. But it should be fun if it meant Keira and everybody else could it. Including the cake that was covered in blue and red berries.
"Mm." Kara sniffed. "It smells yummy. And I've never had a birthday cake like this before. That's okay Mr. Jacobs. And it's the most fun if everyone can eat it. Thank you all so much…" She looked towards her pile of gifts. "Are those for me?"
"Where do you want to start?" Grandpa asked. "Cake or gifts?"
Everyone might be noticing. But grandpa was always the most excited about anyone's birthday. It didn't matter if it was his own or any of ours. And obviously it didn't matter if the birthday was more or less of a stranger because I hadn't seen his smile like this since grandma's birthday in November.
"I…." Kara looked from yet one direction to the other. "…I don't know…"
"I have an idea." Keira's dad took one step forward from where he stood. "I'll start cutting up the cake and just put up a piece on each plate. In that way, whenever someone wants a piece, you can just grab each plate. You can start opening your gifts if you want Kara."
"Hmmm…" Kara looked over the pile of gists, I crossed my fingers and hoped she'd choose mine- the biggest, or the small one in the front. Instead she picked one I didn't know who it was from.
"That one's from me." Came from George, where he sat on his knees trying to light a fire, that had been burning constantly the past couple of dasy but obviously gone out. "I hope you like it."
Kara was carefully opening the gift. And I couldn't help but to feel like it should have been my birthday. Like I should be the one who received gifts. Or… maybe I just really wanted to be the one who received gifts.
"Tay?" I turned to my sister standing closest to me. "Do you think we'll still be here for Christmas? And get all Christmas gifts even though we're not home?"
"I hope so…" Taylor answered me, then looked towards the window- It was storming as much as it had since we came here. "…Otherwise, there's no way Santa can find his way here through the storm?" She suddenly smiled. "And if he's going to come with some baseball caps, such as the one that George gave to Kara then he's got to come here." Kara had unwrapped a baseball cap in dark blue and dark red, with a fish embroidery on the front. "That one looks really nice Kara. But I think the gift from grandma will suit more for this time of the year. It's that soft one over there."
I could only watch as Kara opened her next gift, this one had belonged to me actually. But grandma had promised her that if the beanie cap, and infinity scarf she was giving away fit Kara, which they might since she had made them for me to grow into. I could pick any colour of yarn, or melange yarn I wanted and she'd be knitting me new ones before I could even need it.
"These are so nice." Kara beamed over the hand-knitted and rainbow patterned infinity scarf and beanie cap and right away pulled the scarf on. "Did you make these yourself?"
"I did… And I'm so happy it suited you." Kara put the beanie on and then the cap from George on top of it. "Although maybe not like that. Are you happy with the colors? I have yarn, so I could make some new in some other shades if you want. It doesn't look as if we'll be getting out of here any time soon which will give me a whole lot of time to knit."
"But…" I couldn't help but say- she didn't forget did she? "You promised you'd let me pick a color and you'd make a new one for me?"
"Don't worry Remi." Grandma told me. "I'll keep that promise. I'd have the time to knit twenty caps and infinity scarves before we're out of here. And if they fit you dear then you just make sure you use them. Although I think those caps will fit you better if you only wear them one at the time…" I excitedly watched as she was choosing for another gift.
I just really wanted her to open the one with the backpack from me….
"You don't have to make a new Mrs. Moore. Rainbow pattern is my favourite… Now I really want to try that cake Cassie and Mr. Jacobs made. It looks really good. I've never tried a cake like that before."
I didn't really understand what had been so special about the cake. Maybe it was about some sort of diet…It had red and blue berries on it and white cream. But Mr. Jacobs had cut it all into pieces and was going around handing out plates to everyone.
I really wanted to try it, but I really wanted to watch as Kara unwrapped the one gift for me. And it didn't seem she wanted to do that any time soon.
"Please Kara." I couldn't keep myself from it anymore, I was bouncing up and down on my toes and almost yelling. "Please can you open the gifts from me? There are two of them. That big one in the back, and then one of the smaller ones to the side. Please can you open them now? Please?"
"If I were you Kara." Grandpa answered from behind me. "I'd wait until the end to open those now Remi has nagged you to. Because that's not nice and she should learn it." I was still bouncing up and down and regretted what I did- but I just couldn't help it!
Kara shook her head and smiled more, then took the big gift with a backpack in it and unwrapped it. She didn't smile or say anything while opening it, and then also opened the gift with the pencil case.
She did like it did she?
"Thank you Remi. These are really nice. I really needed something like them for school when it starts again. And it's such a pretty blue. Thank you so much. I and my brother have gotten to switch rooms. So it's great that I can carry all things in this."
She did like it! Good!
I couldn't help a big toothless smile that formed on my lips. I was just so happy.
Meanwhile I took a piece of cake, and at first a piece of the blue berry. I had never blueberries before but I wasn't as picky with foods like my sister. It might be good.
"No… yuk! Sour… Yuk!"
It wasn't!
I gave the plate to grandma. Perhaps she would like it better.
"Try a strawberry or raspberry here Remi." She told me. "Careful so you don't get cream all over your fingers… But they're not as sour as blueberries… By the way Cassie? I haven't seen you go outside. So where did you find berries at this time of the year?"
"I picked some last summer. Then I've kept them in the freezer. I thought there might come a day when they came in handy. I do know though. Especially blueberries taste really sour. You should try the others. Especially strawberries are sweeter." I looked to them, then shook my head. "Don't you like berries Charlie? Perhaps we should have made some muffins too or we should have kept a piece without the berries,"
"It's okay Cassie." Charlie was pushing away the berries from her piece. "It tastes great, but I'm actually allergic., A bit of the others- raspberries and strawberries I can have a little bit. But not at all of blueberries…"
"I was with her once when she had some." A guy I didn't know the name of said. "It wasn't pretty."
"And that's nothing I want to go through again. Especially not here, and I don't think I've got allergy meds or anything."
I turned my concentration away from Cassie and the girl with cake. Kara had already opened the gifts from me but it was still fun to watch as Kara opened her gifts. Now she had put her cake, slightly to the side on the table while she opened a gift from Sarah and Sarah explained to us what it was.
"It's called a Swedish Lapland Bracelet." She explained while Kara fit it around her wrist. "It's made of leather from a reindeer. That button that holds it closed is from the horn. And the pattern on it is made from copper… It's a bit big for you, but you're still growing so it's going to end up perfect size."
"It's so pretty. And now I have several things with rainbow pattern. Thank you."
Kara put the bracelet on properly, I wanted one the same…
"Remi…" I suddenly heard my grandpa next to me. "…I can see the look on your face. Don't forget that it's only a few days left until Christmas when you're all getting gifts like these. For now, can you go to my room and get the glasses I forgot on my bedside table? My old legs aren't used to so many stairs up and down."
"I can do that."
Without saying anything more I passed all the people that were still in the living room and celebrating a birthday, then made my way up the stairs but accidentally went into my, Tay's and Cammie's room instead of going to grandma and grandpa's and Elsa's. And I was just on my way to go to that right room when I saw my phone was blinking with a new message.
At least we got a couple of days without you before the Christmas holidays when all the teachers were on their conference. So after all the time that passes by while you're not even in town. Maybe we've gotten enough of time to start over.
For a few seconds my phone was silent before there was another text from Addison.
Who am I trying to fool? It would be better if you just disappeared of the face of the earth and didn't come back.
Kara POV
I laid the bracelet from Sarah to the side where I had put the rest of the gifts I had opened. I still had a few ones left but I really liked the ones I had opened so far. Especially the backpack from Remi, I had really needed a bag from school as my old one that mum had gotten for me was falling into pieces.
The cake Cassie and Mr. Jacobs had made for me, that even Keira was able to eat was also really good.
Although, I and Daniel hadn't had much sleep the last couple of nights since we came here. Since dad only liked the room cold and refused to have it any other way…
"Actually…" I scraped the plate of the cake. "…Can I take the rest of the gifts and open them in our room?" I tried to think of a reason. "I… All of this was so nice but…"
"There's no reason for you to be so ungrateful." Dad interrupted while I had barely even finished. "Why are you so ungrateful when people have done their best for you only?"
"I don't mean to be ungrateful." I said, almost all quietly. "I just… I mean…"
I'm dizzy with fatigue. Whether I like the gifts or not I can't look up enough to show it. Then I'll act ungratefully!
"Don't be like that dad!" Daniel interrupted before I was about to take another gift. "I know what it's like when you're opening gifts like this and whatever it is you just have to smile and thank you no matter if you like it or not… If that's what you want, I think you should go for it…"
"I do want." I took my new backpack and started packing the gifts I had opened in it. "And this cake was amazing too. So good. Thank you so much everyone for doing this. It's been so much fun."
I wasn't so sure. Birthday celebrations would just never be the same ever since mum died. And no one except for her could think of the best gifts anyway. But right now, without looking up and hearing one last comment from dad as I left the room to the nearest hallway.
"Hmph. Well at least I won't have to look at that god- awful ugly dress anymore."
I looked down on the onesie Grace had lent me earlier today, the same that mum had given me what felt like yesterday. It made my stomach turn that dad hated it so much. But then he usually hated what I wore…
You just have different styles. I tried telling myself, at least it was something to think about. Don't even look at him.
I didn't look up while I hurried through the whole hallway, to the bottom and after what felt like miles and miles into my and Daniel's room where I could finally close the door behind me and dropped the backpack on the bed next to me while I leaned forward and put my head in my hands.
For for certain two minutes I just sat like that.
I didn't even know what I thought about this. I hated my family! And dad wanted us to play happy at this time of every year.
Then too for my birthday.
I couldn't help it. The tears, so many had come before I had the time to stop them.
I could still hear all people in the living room. Yet it was still quiet inside of me. I didn't know if I wanted to be alone or if I wanted someone to come in here and maybe just stay by me…
Yet I just stayed there- frozen in a position and wondered when on earth my brother would come into this room? He would, would he? He wouldn't just leave me alone in a place like this with everything that was happening.
"I'm sorry." At last, after almost an hour in silence the door opened and Daniel came in. "I wanted to come after you but… you know what dad's like!"
"Yeah. I know that."
Daniel came and sat down next to me then laid his arm around my shoulders. I had just been able to stop crying, but when I leaned my head against his fuzzy sweatshirt- his best shirt for hugging set the waterworks right on again.
"There were so many people here today…" I said at last. "…Yet there's only one single person who I'd ever want to be here. And she won't be here ever again. Not for my birthday nor for any other day."
That was just another thing I had been wanting to say for so long. Yet I couldn't find another way to say it now. And I couldn't even find a way to brace myself to hear Daniel- or anyone else agree with me. As if the answer he ended up giving me was a surprising one anyway.
"I beg to differ."
Really surprising!
"I see mum as good as every day. Loads of times but usually with you. When she died and you were so quiet… Whenever you play I can see her next to you singing or playing along. Or dancing, spinning around and around and around. Whenever you're laughing she's laughing along and whenever you're crying she's there, comforting you just like she always did. Kara, mum loved me and dad- but that was still nothing to the way she loved you… It might not have been our parents' plans to have children with fourteen years apart. But I did see the way she looked at you when you were a newborn. And I've never seen anything like it."
Daniel finished, and for a while we only sat still like that while I tried to understand what he had said. It could take me a while. But if there was any indication that mum loved me half as much as I loved her each of these days.
"Do you remember what mum was like about birthdays?" At last, remembering one evening when she had had a fight with a roll of tape and wrapping paper I couldn't help but smile at last.
"My cheeks are cramping from all the smiling. I think I'd rather do the unwrapping in here."
"If that little girl sees you unwrapping another gift she might explode with jealousy so it's probably for the best… Despite how little I've slept these last couple of days…. I just don't feel like going to bed."
"Can't we just sit here and talk for a little while?" I glanced towards the clock- it was still almost half an hour left until midnight. "Do you remember when I was ten? And I'd forgotten some gifts so mum made me save them until Christmas day… And we were both going crazy with curiosity. So then we stayed up until midnight in between Christmas eve and day too."
"I do remember. But I can't remember what was so special about those gifts."
"I don't either. But I never forgot about any gifts like that again… But I can talk and open gifts at the same time so I open the rest of the gifts before my birthday's over." I took my new backpack and laid it on the bed, then laid each of the still unwrapped in front of me. "Mum always beamed over all gifts, but especially big ones… Now there are just some small ones and it just feels right."
"I was actually telling people not to make a big deal of your birthday. I don't know how much people were listening though."
Meaning to start opening the rest, I looked over the gifts before reaching for the one Grace. I unwrapped it and it turned out to be a 40x pack of stabilo pencils. Lying like they did in their pack they almost seemed as of something even more made of the rainbow's colours.
"I remember…" Daniel suddenly started. "…you were turning one and getting your first pens. You got it for your birthday. Mum said you'd probably end up like writing as if she already knew- and before Christmas we had pen marks at absolutely everything everywhere." Daniel snorted with laughter. "Dad was furious, but she just laughed and helped you at least get it off your face and hands. Now, with those…" Daniel took one of the gifts and handed it to me. "I think this one from Cassie will do. But then, can you update this one from me?"
"Only because of that I'll save yours for last." I teased him and carefully unwrapped a notebook, it had a lock and was purple with golden details. "Oh… it's so pretty." I ran my hand over the whole thing and the lock. "I wonder what secrets I'll be keeping in this one. Mwahahaha." Daniel smiled, I had never seen him trying to read anything I had written- dad was another story. So if he knew I was trying to hide something…
What would I be trying to hide anyway? I had no idea about what I'd be using it for. But I could just as well use it for secrets…
I took the two gifts, with the one from Daniel there were three gifts, but like I had just said I was saving that for last. Both of the gifts I had were small and light, one of them felt like it had something very small of metal in it. So at last I put the other to the side and carefully opened it to find a key ring. With a small poodle that was like a silver version like Pearl the dog.
"It's so cute… It's like so many of these people knew what I needed. I needed a key ring too so I don't forget my key at home more times, then the backpack and the pencil case and the scarf and the pencils… I'm sorry I couldn't act more gratefully."
"You have been acting gratefully… I meant what I said. I hate that time when you have to smile and say you really like the gifts or not. And you have been showing you really like the gifts… Do you remember how mum would beam for any? Practically dancing for any new gift?" I nodded. I couldn't help but seeing it in front of me. "She's still in you you know- by opening gifts…"
"I wish I could have faith as strong as yours."
Daniel leaned his head to the side as if deeply thinking about what to say next.
"I wish so too." He said at last. "But… I guess… I can help you. Because I want to help you. For you and to show dad and mum and anyone else. If you can't find the faith in you. Then let me try at least once and I'll prove you wrong."
I had heard him say that before. My brother was the most stubborn person that a human ever could know. Yet I had never felt such a feeling as right then- what was it? Relief? The one faith that wherever we were he could make everything bad go away.
I was suddenly feeling how tired I was, my eyelids were closing by themselves. But the memories of how mum had felt so great with gifts I opened the one last gift except for Daniel's. It was from Taylor and held a yellow hair brush with Pikachu from Pokémon on the back.
"Awesome." I said tiredly. "I wonder if she plays Pokémon Go. Then maybe we can play together some time this summer…" I had to take a break to yawn, but could see in Daniel's eyes how much he was looking forward to me opening the gift from him. It was still a few minutes left of my birthday, and I couldn't help but tease him a bit.
I was the little sister after all, so with that I got out of the birthday dress and into my pyjamas- thankfully this room was warmer than dad's. So five seconds in my underwear didn't make me freeze to death. Then, as Daniel picked off the gifts and wrapping papers off the king- sized bed that could fit us both, I crawled in beneath the covers before I started unwrapping the last gift from Daniel.
"Awesome. A pink mp3 player… I've been wanting one of these forever… It wasn't crazy expensive, was it? Because I don't want you to break your bank for me."
"Don't worry about it. I know I'm not supposed to tell you but I got it at a jumble sale… I hope you don't mind."
"Why would I?" I laid the player and headphones on the bedside table. "I bet I will have hours and hours listening to this." Daniel just smiled, that was the last thing I heard before my eyelids closed by themselves, but I could hear him moving and then his lips while he kissed my forehead.
"Happy birthday sister."
There was a storm outside, as loud as it had been for days now. But still, from somewhere far, far away in the night I heard some church bells ringing for midnight.
Pictures of all gifts, the cake and Daniel's spa set and the sweatshirt he's later wearing are all up on my Instagram Linneagbfanfiction.
Alexa is made by Ally J. Horan and looks like Kelli Giddish. Before the next chapter I'll make a full cast list and not put these minor characters' portrayers here. Nicole (Kara and Daniel's mum) is made by Tif S and portrayed by Courtney Cox.
Some storylines have been added and changed. The bullying one has been changed to Remi instead of Taylor. Taylor had mono before this story starts and they're both very much into their phones.
Writing from children's pov's is hard. Of course, Cameron will have at least one too. But it's hard as an adult to get into the way of children's thinking.
Random fact
I'm always careful when it comes to comment on characters' skin colour. I never want to sound racist and I'm 100 % white. But there was a storyline in Jason's form, and I decided to use it but still make something else of it. Then in some way, make it very obvious that that baby wasn't Jason's.