Chapter 24. Ahem...Ambridge
In the morning, Ron and Hermione discovered a piece of paper on the notice board, written by Fred and George. They offered an easy way to earn money to anyone interested, but at their own risk.
"No, this is absolutely out of the question!" Hermione sternly declared, removing the paper pinned by Fred and George on top of the announcement about the date of the first Hogsmeade trip, scheduled for October. "We need to talk to them, Ron."
As they entered the Great Hall and took their seats, a tall dark-skinned girl approached them.
"Hi, Angelina."
"Hey," she cheerfully replied. "How was your summer?" Without waiting for an answer, she continued, "Listen, I'm the new captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team."
"That's great news," Harry smiled at her.
Hopefully, from now on, they wouldn't have to endure Oliver Wood's long lectures, which tortured the players.
"We need a new goalie instead of Oliver. Tryouts are on Friday at five, and I want the whole team to show up," Angelina said. "We'll see how the newcomer fits in."
"Alright," Harry said. "I have a promising candidate. And he's not bad at keeping."
"Really? Who is it?"
Harry nodded towards Dudley, who was finishing his second helping of pudding.
"My cousin," Harry said. "I think we won't find a better goalie than him."
"Pleasure to meet you," Angelina greeted Dudley, who mumbled something incoherent with a flushed face. Angelina smiled at him and walked away.
Professor McGonagall was distributing schedules as she walked down the table. "What a day it is today!" Ron groaned. "History of Magic, Double Potions, Divination, and Double Defense Against the Dark Arts... Binns, Snape, Trelawney, and this Ambridge, all in one day! Fred and George better hurry with their Breakfast Bans..."
"What's this I hear? Is the Hogwarts Head Boy skipping classes?" Fred asked, who had just appeared with George. He squeezed himself onto the bench next to Harry.
"Here, have a look at what we have today," Ron grumbled, sliding his schedule towards Fred. "The worst Monday of my life."
"I feel you, mate," Fred nodded, looking over the paper. "Well, I can give you a discounted Nosebleed Nougat."
"Why suddenly discounted?" Ron asked suspiciously.
"Because when you use it, your nose won't stop bleeding," George explained, helping himself to smoked fish.
"Congratulations," Ron said grumpily, putting his schedule into his pocket. "No thanks, I'd better sit through the classes."
"If anything, we can always start a small fire..." Jeanne whispered.
"I'll give you a hint if you need it," Ron muttered.
Only Dudley was paying close attention to the conversation about Breakfast Bans and upcoming exams. It seemed that Fred and George managed to impress him, and he was seriously considering buying one.
The first three classes were really disappointing for Ron and Harry. In Potions, Harry brewed the Calming Draught wrong, in History of Magic, he got bored and spent the whole class playing a guessing game with Harry, and in Divination class, he made up dreams just to avoid interpreting his usual nightmare with Voldemort resurrecting in a graveyard. He already knew the significance of that dream. Unlike him, Dudley was genuinely interested in everything, interpreting his actual dream about arriving at Hogwarts (impressive, isn't it? - Ron grumbled, reading Dudley's parchment with the dream), taking notes during Binns' lecture, and brewing a potion just as well as Hermione, which even Snape couldn't find fault with.
- Have you ever brewed a potion before?
- At home... I've tried, Dudley answered cautiously.
- Excellent. Now teach your cousin how to read the instructions carefully.
The first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson this year started in complete silence. No one knew the new teacher and her methods, so everyone feared she would be a strict disciplinarian. The introduction to her began when she asked the class to greet her together in a loud voice.
- Hello, Professor Umbridge! - chanted the class in response to her request.
— Excellent, sweetly sang Professor Umbridge. — It's really not difficult, is it? We'll put away our wands, take out our quills. Upon hearing this, many exchanged grim looks. Never before had an interesting lesson started with an order to put away the wands. Harry put his wand in his bag and took out a quill, ink, and parchment. Professor Umbridge, on the other hand, took out a short wand from her bag and sharply tapped it on the blackboard, where words immediately appeared. There were many words, but their general meaning quickly reached the students. Umbridge had no intention of teaching them practical skills; all they were supposed to receive from her was dry lifeless theory.
The lesson turned out to be so boring that even Hermione protested for the first time in her life by opening her textbook, which lay on her desk in front of her. Harry looked at her in surprise – he couldn't remember anything like that happening before. She sat at the table with the textbook closed and raised her hand, piercing Professor Umbridge with her gaze. Jean nearby was bored openly, contemplating her nails and considering getting a file from her cosmetics bag. Dudley tried to delve into the textbook's text, but quickly gave up and whispered:
- I didn't understand, won't there be any practice?
Many newcomers shared their mood. Some of them spent a couple of minutes getting acquainted with the text, some immediately buried their noses in the desk, transferring the experience of the History of Magic to Defense Against the Dark Arts, some quietly played with each other, and some studied the clouds outside the window without even attempting to pretend that Defense was interesting to them. At the back of the room, the whisper grew louder, gradually spreading forward.
When more than half of the class was no longer looking at the book, but at Hermione, Professor Umbridge decided that she could no longer pretend that nothing was happening.
- Do you want to ask a question about the chapter, my dear? - she asked Hermione, as if she had just noticed her.
- A question, but not about the chapter, - Hermione replied.
- You see, we are reading right now, - said Professor Umbridge, revealing her small sharp teeth. - Any other ambiguities we can resolve with you at the end of the lesson.
- I don't understand the goals of your course, - Hermione said.
Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows.
- Your name, please.
- Hermione Granger.
- You see, Miss Granger, the goals of the course, as I think, should be perfectly clear if you read them carefully, Professor Umbridge said in a deliberately sweet voice.
- They are not clear to me, - Hermione cut in. - They don't say anything about using defensive spells.
There was a short pause, during which many students furrowed their brows and reread the three goals of the course that were still on the board.
"About using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge repeated with a slight smirk.
"I can't imagine a situation in this class, Miss Granger, where you would need to resort to a defensive spell. Or do you think someone might attack you during a lesson?"
"So, we won't be using magic?" Ron asked loudly. "In my classes, those who want to say something raise their hand, Mr..."
"Weasley," Ron said, raising his hand.
Professor Umbridge, widening her smile slightly, turned her back on him. Harry and Hermione immediately raised their hands as well. After momentarily holding her gaze on Harry's bulging eyes and puffy bags, Professor Umbridge addressed Hermione.
"Yes, Miss Granger. Do you have another question?"
"I do," Hermione said. "Isn't the whole point of defense against the Dark Arts to learn how to use defensive spells?"
"Who do you think you are, Miss Granger, an expert from the Ministry of Education?" Professor Umbridge asked in the same falsely sweet tone.
"No, but..."
"Then I'm afraid your qualification is not sufficient to judge the 'whole point' of my lessons. The new curriculum was developed by wizards who are older and smarter than you. You will learn about defensive spells in a safe way, without any risk..."
"Well, what good is that?" Harry asked loudly. "If someone attacks us, it won't be in that way, not without..."
"Raise your hand, Mr. Potter!" Professor Umbridge sang and immediately turned away as soon as he raised his hand.
A rebellion against the chosen course erupted right in front of her eyes. It was too sterile, safe, and soft, lacking interest for the students. But she skillfully pretended to be their best friend, parrying all arguments they presented to her.
"Who, for God's sake, would attack you and children like you?" Professor Umbridge asked in a repulsively honeyed voice.
"Um, let me think..." Harry said in a mocking thoughtful tone. "Maybe... Lord Voldemort?"
Ron held his breath. Lavender Brown screamed. Neville shifted uncomfortably in his stool. However, Professor Ambrose did not even raise an eyebrow. She looked at Harry with grim satisfaction.
"Minus ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter."
The class sat in silence and stillness. Some looked at Umbridge, others at Potter.
"Now I would like to say something directly and openly," Professor Umbridge said, standing up and leaning forward, resting her short palms on the table. "You have been told that a certain dark wizard has risen from the dead..."
"He wasn't dead," Harry angrily objected, "But it's true that he has risen!"
"Mr. Potter-you-have-already-taken-ten-points-from-your-house-don't-hurt-yourself-now," Professor Umbridge said, without looking at him. "I repeat: you have been told that a certain Dark wizard is walking free. That is a lie."
"No, it is NOT a lie!" Harry shouted. "I saw him, I fought him!"
"He's telling the truth!" Jeanne exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. "I saw it too!"
- Minus fifty points to Gryffindor.
- Even minus a thousand, if you want!
Jeanne was already boiling. Her pupils narrowed to microscopic size, and a ball of flame ignited in her right hand.
- This is the howl of a soul filled with hatred! - Jeanne began. - LA GRO...
Smelling the smoke emanating from the wooden floor in the classroom and noticing sparks jumping from the walls, Harry grabbed her and, covering her mouth, sat her down. He didn't want to know what Jeanne was planning to do with Umbridge; all he knew was that he shouldn't give the Ministry of Magic any extra reason to accuse him.
- You will be punished, Mr. Potter and Miss d'Arc! - Professor Umbridge exclaimed triumphantly. - Tomorrow after classes, at five o'clock, in my office. I am telling all of you once again: this is a lie. The Ministry of Magic guarantees that no Dark wizards are threatening you. If you are still worried about something, do not hesitate to come to me outside of class. If someone is bothering you with stories about revived Dark wizards, I would like to hear about it. I am here to help you. I am your friend. And now, please continue reading. Page five, "Fundamentals for Beginners."
- So, in your opinion, that plane just fell out of the sky by itself, and all its passengers suddenly went mad in unison? - Harry continued to protest.
- The fall of that plane was merely an accident. - Umbridge cut him off.
- Voldemort cast an unforgivable curse into the sky. - Harry argued. He felt his entire body shaking. He had told very few people about it, certainly not his classmates who were eagerly listening. He couldn't even imagine it, but what if some of the new students were somehow connected to the passengers of that Airbus?
- Before he met me. - Jeanne interjected.
Umbridge glared hungrily at both of them. Jeanne boldly and without the slightest hint of pretense responded with an even more predatory gaze.
Sixty students watched their silent confrontation attentively, fearing when the storm would break. Contrary to all expectations, it didn't happen, and Ambrose simply asked them both to take a note to Professor McGonagall. In the corridor, they met their dean and handed her the note. She unfolded the parchment sent to her by Ambrose and led the two of them to her office. Treating them to cookies, she strongly advised them not to get involved with Ambrose.
- Let her just try! - Jeanne continued to blaze.
- I understand your feelings, young lady. - McGonagall addressed her. - But even you should be cautious about making such an enemy for yourself.
Jeanne angrily exhaled in response, but still agreed with the dean.