Reader Djpunupipi created even more beautiful fanart for this fanfic! You can view it on AO3, under the fiction titled "Memento Vivere Artwork."
For the rest of the year, this fiction will be updating around the 15th of each month. I hope this helps ease some readers' minds! :-)

41: Reunion

The first sign of life Rikku spotted was little more than a speck against the vast blue sheet of the ocean. As they approached the dot on the horizon, a green-sailed ship, decorated with familiar tribal patterns, gained definition; they were probably nearing Kilika.

Bahamut dove swiftly towards the ferry, announcing his presence with a roar. He banked himself well away from the boat, but Rikku could still see surprised sailors running across the deck, likely at their unexpected appearance.

Bahamut rumbled, flapping his wings and hovering over the ocean.

"Thanks, big guy," she said, tightening her hold around Braska's body. "I've got it from here."

Gently, the dragon released them; they slid into the water with a splash. On seeing both of his passengers safely resurface, he flew away; a quiet rain of pyreflies fell when he disappeared into the clouds.

Braska stirred and she loosened her grip, still treading water for them both. "Welcome back. Can you swim?"

"I think so," he told her, cautiously testing the waters. He looked around, spotting the ship that was now sailing towards them. "Is that our salvation?"

"Well, they don't look like a firing squad from Bevelle," she told him. "I think I know those sails. Looks like the Winno, from Kilika. You ready?"

At his nod, they set off towards the ship, keeping a wary eye out for fiends. After all they'd been through in the past few days, their self-engineered "rescue" seemed almost anticlimactic –

An unmistakable whoop sounded.

A few figures were standing on the bow; one jumped up and down, before running to the stern and diving off the ship.

Rikku faltered, shocked. "Was that – ?"

"Jecht?" Braska finished, also looking surprised.

It had to be; their greeter was swimming through the water with all the power of a professional Blitzer. As he drew closer to them, the bright red headband around his hair was unmistakable.

"Holy shit! We found you guys!" Jecht yelled when his head broke water. "Auron nearly jumped off the ship right after me!"

"Jecht! I've missed your ugly face!" Rikku yelled, glomping him hard enough to send them both underwater.

When they surfaced, Jecht dunked her again. "Who you callin' ugly?"

Rikku sputtered and flailed, flipping sopping braids out of her face.

"Still, I'm happy enough you guys are alive that I'm not even gonna hold that against ya," Jecht said. "Braska! You okay? The hell happened to your hair?"

"The story would take longer to recount than I have strength to tread water," Braska replied. "And I am sure Auron is beside himself with worry."

Auron! Relief and excitement hummed through her veins. He's here, he's okay! Her head swivelled towards the ship, trying to seek out his familiar red coat.

"Jecht, a moment," Braska said, turning towards her. "Don't hesitate," he told her clearly. "Auron needs to see you more than me." He smiled, wry. "Jecht is here to protect me now."

"Braska's right, Blondie. The past two days haven't been no vacation, lemme tell ya. I ain't ever seen Auron so bent outta shape." Jecht pitched his head towards the approaching boat. "Give 'im a reason to breathe easy. It'll do us all some good."

"Rikku! Braska!" She turned; Auron was calling out to them now, even as the crew prepared to intercept them.

Rikku raised one hand in a wave and redoubled her efforts to reach the ship, eager to see him. Grabbing for the rope ladder someone had thrown over the side, she scrambled up to the deck as quickly as she could. Auron reached down and hauled her up over the last few rungs, pulling her into his arms.

"You've returned." He pressed his forehead against hers, his voice full of all the things he couldn't say. I missed you. I thought you had died. Thank you for saving my best friend. I love you. Rikku returned his hug and eagerly met his lips. His hand wound through her hair, tilting her head back to deepen the kiss.

Her mind buzzed, some of the euphoria fading as the memory of Braska's parting kiss rose to taint her reunion with Auron. She pulled away suddenly and tried not to feel like the sea scum trailing in the wake of the boat.

Sensing her tension, Auron eyed her uncertainly. His hands, still clutching her arms, tightened. "Is Braska well?"

Rikku nodded and forced herself to look at him. "He's... changed. A lot of…" Her eyes skittered away from his. "Things happened."

"Is he hurt?" Auron asked, and she knew he wasn't referring merely to physical injuries.

Yes, she wanted to tell him, all the time – but she suspected Auron already knew that. "Not really. He's gotten stronger." She thought of her unpleasant encounter with Anima's power and suppressed a shudder. "A lot stronger."

"But – " Auron began.

" 'ey! Stop canoodlin' and give us a hand here!" Jecht's voice carried from the side of the ship, and shortly afterwards, Braska's head appeared over the edge.

"Braska!" Auron moved to help the summoner onboard, his eyebrow rising at Braska's appearance. "This is a new look for you," he noted, inspecting the summoner's shortened hair, bedraggled shorts, and tatty, stained shirt. Then his expression tightened as he saw the scar on Braska's back. "What happened?"

"It's good to see you too, my friend," Braska said, pulling Auron into a hug. "We can trade stories of our adventures later. For now, I believe some real food and clothing would be much better suited as a greeting."

Rikku looked down at herself at Braska's words, realizing she was still wearing her yellow bikini from Luca. It, much like Braska's clothing, had not weathered their adventure well. Her skirt was torn in several places, though thankfully her pouches and grid belt were still intact. The last remaining sleeve of her outfit was a lost cause, with only a single forlorn bow remaining, and her scarf was nothing more than a tatty rag fluttering in the breeze. The only part of her that didn't look like it had been dragged through a warzone was her Celestial Weapon, still as pristine and battle-ready as ever.

"Yeah, some new digs would be good," she agreed.

"Of course," Auron told them. "Jecht, take them below. I'll speak with the captain and join you in a moment."

"C'mon," Jecht said, leading them towards their cabin. The whole ship was very similar in construction to the Pualu, but lacking in the obvious displays of wealth their previous vessel had boasted. Instead, brightly dyed cloths were draped against the walls, and the unique tribal patterning native to Kilika decorated almost every wooden surface. Though lacking in luxury, the resulting atmosphere was homey.

Rikku felt herself relaxing, even though the yawning chasm of her anxiety still licked at her heels.

"Lords an' Ladies first," Jecht said, opening one of the cabin doors and gesturing grandly.

They trailed in one after another, and Rikku made a beeline straight to the nearest bed and flopped onto it face-first. "Pillows," she moaned into the cloth. "I will never take pillows for granted again, ever, I swear."

Braska mirrored her, falling backwards onto the next bed with slightly less drama but an equally loud sigh.

Jecht snorted, obviously sulking. "You guys are showin' them pillows more love than me? Some friends you are."

Though she knew he was joking, Rikku tensed, her misadventure with Braska still at the forefront of her mind. She lifted her head and snuck a glance at Braska, who'd thrown an arm over his eyes. "I think I'd rather shower my affections on pillows right now," she mumbled.

"Huh," Jecht said, looking back and forth between them with a growing frown. "Somethin' I'm missin' here?"

"We have had a rather difficult trial," Braska said. "One I will be happy to share with you once Auron returns."

Rikku shot up, her eyes wide. "No way! You can't tell Auron!"

"Tell Auron what?" Jecht asked suspiciously, at the same time Braska started and gave her a guilty look.

"Rikku, while I understand your hesitation well…" Braska began.

Jecht's sudden and intense scrutiny made her break into a cold sweat. "No-no-no! I mean about the other thing! With the spell!" She glanced nervously at Jecht, who was squinting at her with the promise of a full interrogation later on. "You know, that thing. Regrowing my eyeballs and stuff."

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA," Jecht said, throwing his hands up. "That totally didn't go where I was expectin'. Regrew your eyeballs? How the hell'd you lose 'em in the first place?" He paused. "You can do that?" he asked in disbelief.

Braska fell back against the bed. "Apparently so, when properly motivated." His brow furrowed. "I'd prefer not to dwell on it, in fact."

"Ditto," she said with a shudder. "Can you guys just keep this one on the down-low around Auron though? He… wouldn't take it well, I think. I mean you said he was already bad enough when he thought we died, right?"

Jecht's attention snapped back to her. "Thought you died? What, did you really die?"

She paused, a memory dancing through her grasp like pyreflies when she tried to catch it. "Not yet," she answered slowly.

The door swung open, and Rikku jumped. Auron strode in, clutching a crumpled paper bag and carrying a bundle of clothing under one arm. "I've updated the captain to our situation. He's agreed to turn the Winno around and return to Kilika." He dropped some clothing off at the foot of each bed. "Courtesy of the members of the crew," he added, settling himself next to Rikku. "Now, what happened to you both?"

"Oh no," Rikku declared, leaning over him and grabbing her prize. "Prioritize, Auron. Clothes first!" After stripping off her accessories and her ruined sleeve, she shook out the geometrically patterned tunic he'd brought. It was much too large, obviously a man's shirt, but she threw it on over her head anyway. It settled over her like a baggy dress, and with a sigh Rikku reached for her belt and cinched it tight. "I feel so underexposed," she complained, rubbing the cloth against her abdomen. "This sucks!"

"It suits you," Auron said gruffly.

Rikku blushed and revised her opinion of the outfit.

Braska had also donned his replacement shirt, though it did little to make him look like a summoner any more than before. If not for his pale skin, his shortened hair and loud tribal clothing would've marked him as just another resident of Kilika. "I suppose I can find attire more suitable to my station at the temple," he murmured. "As well as a new staff."

Rikku winced. It was that stupid staff that had started everything, right down to Braska being thrown overboard. "It's not like you even need one anymore," she said with a scowl. "You summoned Bahamut just fine without it."

"Is this true?" Auron looked surprised. He, more than anyone, would understand the significance of her words.

"I still need a staff to perform the Sending," Braska reminded her. "A summoner has other duties besides that of summoning."

"So you need a new staff, we'll get you one, fine." Jecht yawned. "Now can we get to the point sometime before we hit the docks? Spill, we wanna know what happened!"

Auron dug through the paper bag and passed each of them a sandwich. "How did you get that scar on your back?" he asked Braska.

"That was an accident." Braska put his sandwich down. "Perhaps I should start from the beginning. When Sin attacked, I was washed overboard…"

"... because of that stupid staff," Rikku muttered.

Braska frowned and cleared his throat. "...and rescued by Rikku, who dove after me. We were dragged away from the battle…"

"Wrong! Totally not dragged. We rode into the sunset on the back of that remora like the bosses we are," she corrected.

"I distinctly recall being dragged. And slapped about by a very large tail," Braska said with a touch of impatience.

"Spoilsport."

"... Rikku rode heroically upon the tail of the fiend, which carried us away from the battle. She also conveniently forgot to mention that she had lashed me to her back as a helpless bystander to her insanity. Now, if I may have your permission to continue uninterrupted?"

Rikku crossed her arms. "Not if you're gonna tell it like that!"

Braska peered at her. "Truthfully, you mean?"

Jecht laughed. "Lookit that. You even managed to get on Braska's nerves, Blondie!"

She glanced at Auron, who was watching their exchange. "You two have gotten closer," he said, voice free of inflection. "You're more comfortable with each other now."

Braska's fingers clenched on his sandwich. Rikku swallowed and picked at the corner of her dress. Even Jecht picked up on the sudden tension filling the room, his grin dying out.

"Auron – " Braska said.

"No, my lord. Please, continue." He clasped his hands and leaned forward.

Away from me, she noted, suddenly feeling sick.

"I think I would very much like to hear the rest of this story."

Braska inhaled sharply and straightened, as though he was steeling himself. "We were lost at sea for most of the night. As I mentioned, Rikku had constructed a tether of sorts to ensure my safety as she swam us towards what we thought would be Luca."

"Just to mention it," Rikku cut in, "navigating is really not my specialty." Anxiety was tying her stomach in knots and giving wings to her mouth, which developed a mind of its own.

"I'll say," Jecht scoffed. "You would've run into us if you'd been goin' in the right direction."

"Really?" she blurted out, both unable to contain her curiosity and also secretly hoping to derail the conversation. "How'd you guys get out? I mean, I thought we were goners there for a while, and we weren't even in the middle of the battle anymore!"

"That is far from the truth," Braska cut in, and part of her yelled in frustration.

It was working, Braska! Why'd you have to say anything?

"Rikku never once gave up hope. I believe that is the sole reason we made it to Baaj."

Panicking, she glanced at Auron to gauge his reaction to Braska's glowing praise. "Enough hyperbole! Let's just stick to the facts!" she squeaked, observing Auron's darkening expression. And let's make sure those facts are super-short!

"We were rescued by Hypellos," Auron said, his voice curt. "What do you mean, the city of Baaj? That is nearly twice the distance from Luca to Kilika."

" 'ey! I know that place!" Jecht chimed in. "That's where Sin dumped me when I first came here! Ain't much left of it though. You find anything else besides broken stones an' that temple?"

"A really, really big people-eating fiend," Rikku said. "There's no city left. There isn't even an island for a city to stand on."

Auron took a moment to digest the news. "Baaj," he repeated. "It's a miracle you survived at all." He looked at Braska. "Why didn't you just summon something before then?"

"I tried," Braska said.

"... and failed," Auron concluded, accusation leaking into his tone. Braska flinched.

Against her better judgement, Rikku reached out and tapped Auron in the elbow. "It's a sore spot," she whispered to him in a low undertone.

Auron gave her a searching look.

"Let it go, please?" Despite all the things she knew she'd done wrong, there was one thing she was still certain of: she was Braska's Guardian, and Guardians protected their summoners. She lifted her chin.

"Hnn," Auron said, refocusing his attention on Braska. "Well?"

"We encountered some rather unexpected difficulties in those ruins while searching for a means to escape." Braska toyed with his sandwich. "My staff was lost during the journey towards Baaj, and I was of little help to Rikku."

"Nu-uh," she said. "I let you have my belt. You helped out when you weren't trying to bring the ruins down on us with your mutant fireballs."

"Huh? So you tried usin' that belt to survive?" Jecht scratched his head. "Did it work out?"

Braska quirked a smile. "We may be of differing opinions on the definition of successful, but yes, it did work for me. It was a bit easier to master this time, in fact."

"This time?" Auron's brow rose, and her heart sank as he turned to look at her with a hint of surprise – and was that anger?

He's definitely jealous now. She bit into her sandwich to avoid answering, suddenly finding the composition of anchovy and sauerkraut extremely interesting.

Auron switched his glare towards Braska. "That wasn't your first attempt to use Rikku's belt?"

"It happened a very long time ago, in Macalania," Braska answered smoothly. "I am not surprised you did not notice. You and Rikku were fighting then and I was curious."

"You wished to satisfy your curiosity," Auron replied, his tone frosty. "Is that how you would describe your interest?"

Rikku's eyes teared up in her haste to choke down her food. It didn't seem like Auron and Braska were talking about her garment grid anymore, and she felt a pressing need to divert the conversation before it ended in blows.

"It's a machina!" she blurted, shattering the tense silence. "The garment grid is a machina. Even Jecht could use it if he tried."

Jecht leaned forward, suddenly eager. "Really? Can I try it right now?"

"No," she added automatically, holding her palm up to his face.

"Aww, c'mon! I just rescued you guys out of the ocean! Show a little gratitude!"

She rolled her eyes. "I think we would have made it back to the ship somehow. Besides, I'm not loaning you my garment grid under any circumstances. The problems you'd get into with it would be worse than anything I could cook up."

"Now you sound like Auron," Jecht mumbled. "Pair of damn clones, you two."

"Hnn," Auron said, though there was a note of humor in the sound. Then he looked at Braska, his posture easing. "This conversation is going nowhere. You should finish your meal first, my lord." He pushed himself to his feet. "I'll be outside."

Rikku stood up, eager to follow him and repair the damage Braska had caused with his words. "Can I come with you?"

Auron stopped and looked at her. His gaze was no longer cold and angry, but there was still something wounded in it. "Eat first. Recover your strength. We can talk about this later." He left, slamming the door.

Braska put his untouched sandwich aside. "I have lost my appetite," he told them. "Perhaps some fresh air will do me some good." The gentle click of the door when he left was almost louder than Auron's violent slam.

"You know," Jecht said into the unsettled silence that followed. "You owe me for throwin' myself under the bus like that."

"I messed up," Rikku said, sitting back down and holding her head in her hands.

He crossed his arms. "Did ya sleep with him?"

"No!" she yelled. "I mean, not really."

"Blondie, there's a whole ocean between no an' not really." Jecht sighed and sat himself next to her. "You didn't see Auron when you were gone. The Stiff's got it bad for you. When he thought Sin had killed ya both, he lit up the damn sky. Freakin' scary," he added with a pained look. "That's how they managed to find us."

"Tell me what happened to you, and I'll tell you what happened to me," she hedged. "How'd you guys get out alive? I thought the ship was going to capsize!"

"It did," he said. "Auron kicked out the window and I took him up with me. He can't swim worth a damn, you know?"

"I know," she mumbled with a touch of guilt.

"Anyway, he got right back on the boat soon as it flipped. He just didn't give a single shit. Sin started doin' this spell thing, sending everythin' up into the sky."

"Gravity magic," she said, nodding. "It's one of the ways Sin destroys a lot of things at the same time." She thought about the gravity blast Sin had fired at the Fahrenheit; he'd literally carved a tunnel into the sea and skies above. It must have been Tidus' worst idea ever to try and face off against that on the deck of an airship. "How'd you survive?"

"Well, Auron was pretty mad."

"Define pretty mad, Jecht."

He made a face. "It's just hard to describe. Harder to believe. I mean for real, he spun around and did this thing with his sword, and made… I dunno, some kinda hurricane, I guess? Wasn't all that big, but then it hit Sin's whirlwind, and kapow! Wind, water, and fiends everywhere! I thought I was gonna die, no joke, but he reached for that jug of his and threw it in the air. And then boom! It was rainin' so much fire I bet they saw it in Luca!" Jecht grimaced. "Blasted the rest of the ship we were hangin' off of into bits, though."

"Wow." She blinked. "So he drove off Sin all by himself?"

"Hah! I'd love to say a pissed off Auron could do that, but naw. He bought enough time for help to come. It was real close. He kept hollerin' for me to drop him and look for you guys. Almost did, too." Jecht rubbed his jaw and winced. "That man can pack a punch."

Rikku smiled in sympathy. "Thanks for not listening to him. Auron said Hypellos rescued you, right?"

"Sorta," he replied. "The crusaders were there first. They got these warships patrollin' around Luca, see? For protectin' the city. I figure a scout musta seen Auron's fireball and sent out the call. A whole fleet showed up. They're the ones that managed to drive Sin away. The Hypellos, now, they fished us outta the water."

Hypellos? Working with the crusaders? The thought was so bizzare it gave her pause. "I didn't know the crusaders were letting Hypellos join their ranks?"

"They ain't. The one that got me said Tio put the word out soon as he heard I was out there." Jecht's sudden grin was all teeth. "Told ya I'm a superstar!"

"Wow," she repeated, trying to process the idea of Hypellos taking the initiative to do anything, much less something that would put them in danger. "They must really like you."

"Not just me. They got everybody. Least, everybody who was still kickin'," Jecht amended. "They even brought me my pack!"

"They liked you so much they rescued your stuff," she said. "Couldn't they have done that with mine? Or at least Auron's?" The small part of her that constantly hoped for a life of luxury was wailing in despair.

"Don't think it was my charm that got me my stuff back," he said, digging through one of his pockets. He pulled out a familiar-looking object, no worse for the battering it had received. "Pretty sure it was this."

"Is that the Neptune Sigil?" The small object gleamed in the light. "It's true… your weapon really did choose you," she added, impressed. "You're inseparable!" She motioned to the Godhand, lying on the floor. "If you can find the other half of your weapon's soul, you can wake it up. It'll be fantabulous!"

Jecht eyed the crest with discomfort. "A weapon that's alive? Not sure I like the idea of that…"

"It's not like it's suddenly gonna start talking to you," she huffed, rolling her eyes. "It's more like… it listens. If you ask it to do something, it will. Almost like a machina, except you don't have to program anything. You just wish and it happens."

"Seems like somethin' that'd be right up Auron's alley, not mine."

She smiled to herself. "I guess he's just not ready yet. The Weapons choose who they serve, we don't get a say in it."

"Whelp. I bet it woulda helped if Auron had a weapon like yours when he threw that fireball at Sin." Jecht shrugged. "Anyway, we beat it outta there on one of the smaller ships and let them crusaders do their thing. Auron was pissed the whole time and he stayed that way for two damn days. I thought he was gonna crack a few teeth, includin' mine."

"We're near Kilika, right? How'd you get all the way over here if you lost everything?"

"Oh, Auron still had some money. Somethin' bout an investment in Luca. We booked another ship to Kilika soon as we could. He was pretty sure you guys would turn up there at some point, an' here we are," Jecht said, "waitin' to hear your half of this adventure."

"Well, you heard what Braska said." Rikku fidgeted. "We washed up in Baaj, and I accidentally broke his staff. He got all weird and depressed, I guess."

Jecht frowned. "So what, you had some pity sex – " He shrugged at her offended cry. " – non-sex with him, and now you feel bad about it?"

She glared. "That's not what happened! We just sorta kissed." Her face grew hot. "... a couple of times. But nothing else!"

"Well then, just tell Auron that so he can stop stompin' around. He's been takin' it out on me for two days already! I need a breather! What's the big deal?"

Rikku suddenly found the hem of her dress fascinating. "And afterwards, Braska… well, he… um… he-kinda-told-me-he-loved-me," she said in a rush.

Jecht took a few moments to puzzle it out. Then he scratched his head. "Yeah, and? Tell him sorry an' move on. It's not like Braska's gonna hold it against ya. He ain't the type."

She stared at one triangle on the edge of her hem. "I tried! I really did!"

Jecht squinted at her and waited.

"Alright, so I may have told him I loved him too – just a little bit! – in the process. I was just trying to help him, okay?" she said, her blush growing.

Straightening, Jecht let out a groan. "I feel some kinda responsibility here as a bro to tell you this."

"I'm not a bro, Jecht."

"I mean as Auron's bro, Blondie." He rapped his knuckles against her forehead. "You can't go around doin' things like that. You're gonna break his shrivelled excuse for a heart."

"I know," she said miserably.

"I mean it. Don't hurt him, Rikku."

She startled when he used her name. Jecht was giving her his best stern look.

"Are you giving me the shovel talk?"

Jecht dropped the glare and shrugged. "Well, yeah. How was it?"

"Four out of ten. Nice use of a guilt trip, but you're not very scary." She smiled weakly at Jecht's disappointment. "You're a good friend to him, you know."

He sobered. "He needed one after you two went missin'. Auron without a purpose just ain't Auron. He didn't even have somethin' to swing his sword at. 'Sides me, I mean."

"What should I do?" she asked in a small voice.

"Not sit around here mopin' an' lettin' Braska do all the talkin' for you," Jecht answered. "But 'ey, don't ask me. My wife's the only woman for me. I got no idea why you can't just pick one and stick to him."

Rikku scowled. "I did pick one! I picked Auron! Even Braska knows that now!"

"I bet Auron don't." Jecht crossed his arms behind his head. "He don't like talkin' about his feelings. Too squishy. You gotta get out there and find him 'fore he fills all them blanks in his head with things that ain't true."

"I guess so," she mumbled, half-rising from the bed.

Jecht caught her before she could go too far. "Not so fast! We had a deal; fess up about Baaj. Gimmie the short version. Fact, get right to that part about your eyeballs. What the hell happened?"

"Oh!" She squirmed, resisting the urge to rub her eyes to double-check that yup, they were still there. "Well, we washed up at the temple and found another aeon hidden there."

"Cool! So you did the Trials all by yourselves?" He brightened, then frowned. "Is that what gave Braska that scar?"

"There weren't really any Trials," she winced. "The aeon just didn't want to come with us."

"They can do that?"

"You don't have to stick with us either, but you do anyway," she pointed out, leaning into his side to remove the sting from her words. "The one we met wasn't a very nice Fayth. She tried to kill us."

"Damn! You mean you beat an aeon? You go, Blondie!"

"Huh? I didn't beat anything. Braska took it down. By himself. I was sorta out of it for that. You know, getting used to the feeling of being not as dead as I should've been."

"Braska? Braska beat an aeon by himself?" He looked incredulous. "I know he's great at healin' an' all, but… you hit your head or somethin'?"

"He's stronger than you know. If you thought Auron's Tornado was bad, just… don't make Braska upset either, okay?"

"If you say so," Jecht grunted. "What's all this 'bout losin' your eyes though? What the hell happened to ya out there?"

Shivering, Rikku pulled her knees up and hid her face in them. "I almost died, alright? If Braska hadn't been there, it'd be all over for me." A warm hand descended onto her back with a little too much force, and she looked up, wheezing.

Jecht gave her another awkward pat and a crooked smile. " 'ey, you don't gotta talk about it if ya don't wanna. All that matters is you're here now, right?"

Relief flooded through her at Jecht's clumsy empathy. Death wasn't something Rikku liked dwelling on; she'd done enough of that after Keyakku and Auron had disappeared from her life. "Yeah," she agreed, grateful to drop the subject.

"So, 'bout this aeon. Was she hot?"

Rikku thought of Anima and stifled a manic laugh. "No, Jecht. Don't even go there. I'll be happy if we never have to see it again."

"Fine, fine," he grumbled. "So what're you waitin' for? Go patch up your love life. Auron's a friend an' all, but if he socks me again I'm blamin' you."

"Right," she said, scrambling to her feet. "Thanks for the shoulder. I feel a little better now."

Jecht propped his feet on the bed and grabbed the rest of her meal. "Yeah. Now get lost before you go all mushy on me." He bit into the sandwich and waved her off.

Adjusting her ill-fitting outfit, Rikku hurried through the hallway and up the stairs. Light as the fabric was, having her midriff covered felt constricting. She scratched her itching waist as she came up on deck; how was it possible for something to be this uncomfortable –

"I don't want to talk about it."

Freezing, she glanced around. That was definitely Auron's voice. Pressing herself against the wall, she crept forward and peeked around it. Auron was leaning against the side of the bridge, stubbornly glaring at the sea. Braska faced him; his eyes flitted over when he spotted her, but he gave no other indication of noticing her presence.

"I've caused you this pain. Will you not at least hear me out?"

The muscles in Auron's jaw worked, but he said nothing.

Braska sighed and clasped his hands together. "She told me she loves me."

Rikku's eyes widened. I'm gonna kill him! Well, maybe just hurt him! But really really bad! She tried to catch Braska's eye, but he ignored her.

"Your point?" Auron finally looked at Braska, his posture stiff.

"She also told me she loves you more." His smile held a touch of regret. "She rejected my advances, but not from any lack of effort on my part."

Auron was silent for a long moment. Then, quietly – Rikku wanted to curl up and die at the pain in his voice – he spoke. "Why are you both acting so guilty? You're hiding something."

Braska chuckled. "Not what you are likely expecting." His gaze drifted somewhere over Auron's head, unfocused. "I wanted to touch that passion you share together. I wished it to be my own, but in my hunger I lost control. Rikku… was very badly hurt because of my pride."

She blinked. Braska was playing with his words again, hiding the truth within layers of meaning. That didn't change that fact that he was going to tell Auron she almost died which was not okay. She redoubled her efforts burn him into a crisp with her glare.

"You're the one with the scar," Auron noted. "What happened? Tell me."

"We were forced into a battle I was not prepared to fight. I reaped the just rewards of my arrogance and nearly lost everything." Braska grimaced, and Rikku knew he wasn't talking about his own scar.

She swallowed.

"Yet here you stand, my lord."

Braska refocused on Auron. "It was difficult. We faced a great many obstacles and adversaries. I survived the ordeal due to Rikku's efforts, and have burdened her with this guilt as my thanks. She blames herself for my failings. She thinks she betrayed you, when truly, it is I."

Auron pushed away from the wall and bowed. "My life is yours, my lord. It's your right to take what you want from it," he said with muted anger.

"I don't want to take anything from you, Auron." Braska sighed. "I have always only wished to give you the means to find your own happiness."

Auron remained silent, and Rikku ached to see his face.

Whatever Braska saw there must have disappointed him, for he asked, "Will you hurt her now too, as I have?"

That was going too far. "Hey! Stop it!" she shouted, jumping towards them. Auron looked over in surprise as she flung her arm out defensively and sent a challenging stare at Braska. "Now you're just being mean."

"Rikku," Braska sighed. "I am trying to help."

She crossed her arms and stepped in front of Auron, facing Braska down. It struck a chord; Auron'd done the same for her, once, protecting her from Kinoc. It bolstered her confidence. At least I can do this for him now too.

"By making him feel guilty or like he's done something wrong just for having normal feelings? We're the ones who were wrong!" she continued, poking Braska in the chest. "You know better than anyone what it's like to really love someone. It's messy. Back off! You and your insecurities are only making things worse! This is something Auron and I need to work out alone." She narrowed her eyes. "You promised."

"I simply wanted to give you the opportunity to speak in the first place!" Braska shot back, flustered.

"No!" she snapped. "Just leave us alone so we can talk! You have to let us deal with our own problems. We're not little kids, you know? We can think for ourselves!"

"Rikku, enough." Auron grabbed her shoulder.

Braska's soft laugh silenced him. "Of course," he said to Rikku. "Even now, I show my weakness. This place is rightfully yours, and not mine." He bowed to them. "At your will, my lady." He met her gaze; then, with a slight nod at Auron, walked away.

Rikku watched Braska disappear, still steaming. Then, she took a deep breath. There was something more important to deal with than meddling summoners first. Turning around, she uncrossed her arms and looked up at Auron.

"Why did you stop him from absolving you of all guilt?" Auron's hands twitched. "I wanted to believe him."

"Real love won't grow in a bed of lies," she answered. "You can't use guilt as a fertilizer."

"Was what he said a lie?" Auron asked her, the evidence of pain still obvious in his voice.

In that moment, watching the rare bursts of vulnerability pass over Auron's face – confusion, hurt, perhaps even the broken hope that Braska had lied to him – she understood why she felt guilty.

It wasn't the kisses she had shared with Braska; Auron himself had said it before. Finding comfort in a warm body was just another way of reaffirming life in the face of death; there was nothing truly personal in it.

It was little more than an act until it was backed with emotions.

What Braska had told him had been her true betrayal.

"I… I did say I loved him," she admitted, cringing at Auron's visible flinch. "That part was true. I love Jecht too, you know? He's a good guy if you can see through all that posing he does. Braska's a good guy, too. I believe in him. But that doesn't mean I want him the same way I want you. I chose you. I'm choosing you now. And I'll always choose you!" She stopped, embarrassed.

Auron eventually broke the silence that stretched in the wake of her loud confession. "What really happened?" he asked, serious.

He's not gonna like this. She knew she couldn't avoid it, though; it felt wrong, lying to Auron to protect his feelings. Wasn't that what she'd just scolded Braska for?

"Something… something bad. Really bad." She swallowed, trying not to think of the battle with Anima, and the torture that had seemed to stretch on endlessly when Braska saved her. "Let's just say Braska's a really good healer."

Auron's flinch was almost as painful as her wounds had been. "He saved you," he concluded, and Rikku nodded mutely. "And was injured in turn."

"I'm supposed to be his Guardian!" Rikku blurted out. The stress she'd bottled up over the last two days came hurtling out of her mouth in a tidal wave. "I lost my way. I couldn't hold on to anything… my duty, you, the future… I should've died back there, you know! I owe Braska my life. Instead, here I am, and he's the one with the scar! And I'm still mad at him! But I'm madder at me because I was so stupid!"

She didn't realize she was crying until Auron brushed away one of her hot, angry tears.

"Then you acted as his Guardian," he told her evenly. "You did your duty. It was Braska's choice to ignore your sacrifice, and he paid the price."

Auron's words didn't make her feel any better; what did it cost him to hold that straight face while trying to justify her behavior? She was the one stomping all over his heart and he still wanted to help. Hadn't he always been that way? The thought startled her; even at the beginning, when they'd first met in Bevelle, he'd always been there to rescue her from danger despite his sniping.

This time I'm the danger, though. How can he rescue me from myself?

"I was too weak to protect him," she told Auron. "And I was too weak to protect you, too. I just ended up hurting everyone! I messed up." She hung her head, acutely missing the warmth of his hand as it dropped away from her cheek. "I… guess I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted to end it now, though. You would've never betrayed me like that, because you're stronger than me. I'm only bringing you down."

"You are not weak."

She jolted at Auron's words, looking up in surprise; he gave her a wane smile.

"You did save his life. You protected him from Sin, brought him safely to Baaj, and came back alive. That is all I could ask for. Nothing else matters."

His words were comforting, but she still felt uneasy. "So… you mean we should go back to like we were before all this happened?"

"No," he said bluntly. The plunge her heart took at his words must have shown on her face, because he relaxed, moving closer, and drew her into his arms. "You fought with Braska to allow me to feel this pain. It would be easier for you to pretend you never felt anything for him, or to play along with his tricks."

His arms tightened around her, and she felt brave enough to return the embrace, scared of losing Auron again, but in a way that was completely new and much more painful.

"I am not a child, Rikku. I won't chase after you in a land of fairy tales and make-believe." He kissed the top of her head. "I want our relationship to be honest. I never expected it to be easy."

"I bet you never expected it to get this complicated so quickly either," she sniffled into his coat.

Auron's chest rose and fell in a silent chuckle, and something inside of her unwound. He could still laugh at her, at least. "With you, I have learned to expect anything."

They spent a few more moments locked in their embrace. "Can I kiss you again?" she asked.

"Not yet."

She shuddered.

Auron pulled back in concern. "Are you cold?"

She shook her head a few times, confused. "No, it's not that. I'm not sure..." She trailed off, grasping for an elusive memory.

Auron pushed her away. "It isn't over. I need time to come to grips with this. Don't ask me for an answer right now. And Braska – " He struggled to voice his emotions. "I can't hate him. No matter what he does, or who he wants. He saved me. I would not be here, with you, without him."

Rikku nodded reluctantly, knowing all too well the nature of the beast – loyalty – Auron was grappling with. At least he didn't have to worry about Braska climbing all over him, hungry for kisses and casting those dangerous Cure spells at every opportunity. Did he? She didn't think Braska was interested in Auron that way. Then again, if he was… Her eyes glazed over at the thought.

Auron was looking at her strangely again. "Why are you drooling?"

Catching herself, she blushed and wiped her mouth. "Oh! Nothing?"

"Hnn," Auron said suspiciously, though he didn't press. He looked up as a bell rang overhead. "We're approaching the docks. Let's regroup with the others."

"Auron," she called out, grabbing the sleeve of his coat before he could walk away. "Are we good?"

He turned and stared at her for a moment. Then, with a slight smile, he nodded. "For now." The smile dropped. "Get Jecht up here. Move out."

Rikku gave him a salute and hurried towards the cabins, feeling better. There was, however, still a cold, hard ball of uneasiness nestling in the pit of her stomach. Though Auron seemed willing to forgive her, she knew it wasn't going to be that simple. For one, she didn't even know how to approach Braska anymore. Everything had changed; even just looking at the summoner was awkward now.

More importantly, even if Auron was willing to forgive, he was definitely not one to forget. He may have let it go for the moment, but she knew it was far from over.

The ability Auron used during the battle with Sin was the overdrive [Tornado].

* "My life is yours, my lord. It's your right to take what you want from it."

When Auron says this to Braska, it's highlighting the canon game relationship between the two men, of daimyo and samurai. If you understand the historical dynamic, the reason Auron says this should be self-evident, but if you aren't familiar with it, I wanted to give some context for the statement.

From "Warrior Puppets: The Samurai of the Tokugawa Shogunate" by Matt Williams:

"Samurai were mere puppets of their lords, not allowed freedom of thought in matters and constantly expected to do what they were ordered to do. Samurai would follow any order given by his lord immediately and without thought or hesitation, as per the code of Bushido."

In other words, what Auron is really saying to Braska is "If you ask me to give up Rikku so you can pursue a relationship with her, my honor commands me to let you do it."