50: Painted Air
Rikku stood on the deck of The Love Boat and smiled. The motor was propelling them at a fraction of its usual speed, but the wave power generators were completely repaired.
The current ruined state of the laser was regretful, however. They'd cannibalized it in the end, along with several other less-essential parts of the boat to rebuild the portions of the hull and engines lost to Sin's attack.
Father's not gonna be happy when he sees his ship. She still remembered the fallout from the sudden and unfortunate end to Keyakku's first mission, but her guilt was mitigated by fury.
At least he'd stopped trying to separate her from Auron after the supply closet fiasco.
The catamaran skipped across the water at a slow, but steady, pace. An invigorating sea breeze blew her hair back, and she inhaled the salty air with deep satisfaction.
Necessary deconstruction aside, her ship was alive again, and it felt good.
"Now, if only I knew where we were going," she mumbled. Sighing, she marched towards the hold. Several Al Bhed crewmembers nodded as she passed; making such rapid repairs on the ship outstripped the taboo of being a Guardian – or making out with one in a closet – apparently.
Stopping before the captain's cabin, she wavered, hesitation warring with anger. But, if anyone was going to answer her…
She touched the wall panel, then opened the door after hearing Keyakku's gruff, "Enter."
He sat at his desk, pouring over the Pollendina family's navigation charts. They were a collection of salvage maps pointing to unexplored ruins; some of the Al Bhed's greatest treasures were contained there.
Keyakku looked up, balked, and slammed the notebook closed.
She rolled her eyes. "So, you don't trust your little sis with the treasure, huh?"
He glanced from the book to her, then huffed. "Of course you'd recognize this. I guess it's kind of pointless, huh? If there's anything to find in here, you probably already know all about it."
"Or found it already, yeah."
Still, he made no movement to reopen the logs.
She leaned against the wall and studied her brother. What happened to us? I thought we knew each other. Memories of her loving brother assailed her, but it seemed impossible to reconcile the man she'd looked up to with the paranoid captain sitting before her. Where's the trust? His betrayal of her confidence was still raw and bleeding.
Despite her intentions, she couldn't stop herself from poking the wound. "You were my idol, you know."
He jerked, turning a wide-eyed gaze on her.
"I wanted to be just like you. I tried so hard to learn all this stuff so I could keep up. Somewhere along the way, I guess I ran right past you."
Keyakku sighed, pulled off his headgear, and scrubbed at his hair; freed of his usual trappings, they looked more like each other than ever. "Look. I said I'm sorry – "
"Excuse me, but no, you never said anything!" Rikku snapped.
"I'm apologizing now."
"You don't need to start lying about how you feel. It's too late anyway," she added in a quieter voice. "After what you did… there aren't any takebacks."
Keyakku leaned on his desk, chin in hand. "I admit I made a mistake. If I could make it up to you, you know I would."
"Do I?" She squinted at him and tried to remember the Keyakku she thought she knew. He'd always kept their family together, despite their disagreements; he listened, taught her what he knew about machina with limitless patience, and he doted on her – even more than he ever did Brother. Keyakku had been the warmth, the smiles, the tenderness that was missing in their own father. "Do I know?"
He flinched, unable to meet her stare, and her image of him crumbled just a little more.
It hurt.
As he sagged under the weight of her criticism, she was struck by an odd thought. Maybe he did try to make it up to me when he got back… the other me, in Bikanel. Maybe him being nice to mini-me is part of his apology.
It didn't make it better for her, but it was food for thought.
Reaching down, Keyakku opened a drawer and pulled out a familiar bottle of paan. He held it out to her – an olive branch. "You and me," he said, studying her. "We turned out the same. I didn't expect that."
Rikku raised an eyebrow, refusing the offer. "Well yeah, we do look a lot alike. You'd have to be blind not to see the resemblance. Speaking of, your crew's pretty good at ignoring stuff when you order them to."
"True, but not what I meant." He laughed. "I always thought you'd take after Pops. Loud and impulsive, lots of tunnel vision, you know. But you're a problem-solver too. You can see the bigger picture." He shook his head. "We're both like Mom."
She stilled. No one ever talked about Mom. It was a forbidden topic. "Really?" she asked, keeping her tone steady.
His obvious disappointment said it all; some part of him had hoped she already knew whatever there was to tell. "Come home with me," he said, sincere. "Come back to Bikanel, and I'll tell you all about Mom. Anything you want to know."
And there's the catch. "I can't leave the Pilgrimage," she replied.
"You can. You just have to want to," he said more firmly.
"Do I need to spell it out for you? I'm not going."
"Why not?" he pressed. "You'd be welcome there. You wouldn't have to go through this sham of a Pilgrimage."
"I am welcome here, in case you didn't notice," she shot back. "Auron, Braska, and Jecht are my best friends here. And our Pilgrimage isn't a sham!"
He eyed her in disbelief. "Their Pilgrimage goes against everything the Al Bhed believe in. We don't sacrifice summoners for our own safety."
Ouch. That hurt. Still, she drew in a deep breath and shook her head. "I'm not leaving them."
"You'd choose them over coming home?" Keyakku slammed his fist on the table, making the notebook and paan bottle jump. "You're Al Bhed! You're one of us! We're family!"
Rikku squared her shoulders. "I'm a Guardian first. That's all I want… and all I need, now."
"No, Rikku – "
She sighed and cut him off. "I didn't come here for this. I need to know where we're going. And by we, I mean Braska and the rest of us. Oh, and that bunch of elite crusaders you're holding hostage, too."
He frowned. "Don't change the subject."
"I haven't," she said evenly. "Can you really keep all those Yevonite soldiers under your thumb until you get to Bikanel? And, I'm sure Father will welcome them into Home with open arms when we arrive."
"What are you trying to say?"
"Am I really worth all the hassle it'll take to get me home, voluntarily or not? Don't tell me you already forgot about the 'bigger picture.' "
The jab to his earlier comment hit home. He clenched his head between his hands and leaned on his elbows, shaking his head in frustration. The motion was so familiar to her that it almost broke her poker face.
"I'll deal with the soldiers – " he began.
She talked right over him. "Not to mention Uncle Braska and his Guardians. Like me, remember? Don't underestimate the trouble we could make for you. The crusaders would follow Auron anywhere, and you've seen Uncle Braska summon." Crossing her arms, she did her best to look intimidating; maybe there was a little too much of Auron rubbing off on her. "Don't forget, I already broke your big fat gun. Oopsie."
"Are you trying to threaten me?"
She sniffed. "I spent the past five days making your crew like me. Auron spent that time building an army right under your nose. And you've made the only summoner on this ship – our own uncle, so tell me again about family – feel like an outcast." She bared her teeth. "I can sail this boat without you. So… you wanna talk about where you're taking us?"
It was a big bluff. If it came to a mutiny, the Al Bhed would side with Keyakku. And, indebted as they were, the crusaders would hesitate to fight their Al Bhed saviors, tenets be damned. In fact, Rikku suspected that the seeds of Operation Mi'ihen were being planted right there: the survivors paving the way for a new generation of crusaders willing to work with the Al Bhed and their machina.
But her posturing wasn't entirely smoke and mirrors, either. If word got out that the Al Bhed were taking "hostages" to Bikanel – during Luca's tournament season, at that – the results would be devastating.
Keyakku might want her to come Home, but she was willing to bet he wanted to avoid open war against the rest of Spira more.
You really think I'm like Mom now? But the words caught in her throat.
He analyzed her for a long moment, then sighed. "When'd you get so bossy?"
"I'm not bossy," she protested. "I'm a survivor. And I know how to get what I want."
Clearing his throat, he glanced at her one last time, then reopened the navigation charts. He flipped through the pages, located the appropriate map, and pointed. "According to my calculations, we're here right now. Where did you want to go?"
"Our goal is the Calm Lands," she said, moving towards the table and turning the map her way. She tapped her chin and frowned, thinking of Jecht. He'd gathered all the tools necessary to unlock his Celestial Weapon, but they'd be nothing more than dead weight until he underwent the ritual in Macalania's forest to unseal its true power. "But we gotta stop by Macalania first."
Wincing, Keyakku said, "That's way too close to Bevelle."
By which he meant, "The Love Boat's damaged. We won't be able to avoid Bevelle's defensive fleet if we approached the city."
Although she couldn't fault him for being cautious, the thought of backtracking halfway around the continent on foot – or worse yet, over water on The Love Boat – was terrible. "How close can you get us?" she asked.
"You're serious, aren't you?" Keyakku rubbed his chin. "I can probably get you guys onto the outskirts of Lake Macalania, near the Temple. But you'd still have to find a way in; the whole place is surrounded by cliffs."
Rikku worried her lower lip. "That's still probably our best bet." She tried not to think of their lack of weather-appropriate gear, long lost to the two shipwrecks they'd survived.
"Even if you make it in, you're gonna freeze," he said bluntly.
"We'll come up with something! Team BARJ is good at improvising."
"Team what?" Keyakku shook his head. "No, just forget I asked. I need to get rid of your crusaders first anyway; it won't make things any easier if we get caught with them on board." He pointed at another segment of the map. "We'll make a stop near Guadosalam – it's neutral enough territory – then drop you by Lake Macalania afterwards." He looked up. "After that, you'll be on your own."
She pushed away from the table. "You were never with me from the start, Kei-Kei."
He flinched. "I really am sorry."
"Yeah," Rikku said, not bothering to turn back as she left the room. "Me too."
.x.x.x.
Macalania's chill leaked through the entire ship; no one, especially the remaining Al Bhed crew, was happy to be there. The catamaran was still damaged enough to require the conservation of all available power. As a result, the environmental controls had been some of the first to be sacrificed. The ship was moving at a crawl through the less-than-temperate ocean waters.
Rikku's breath condensed into crystalline patterns against the metal ceiling over her high bunk. She couldn't feel her nose. The idea of sneaking into Auron's bed to snuggle for warmth was considered and discarded for the millionth time. Much as she might have enjoyed it, she didn't want to completely ruin Auron's reputation in front of the others.
"I can't believe we're here again," Jecht complained, tightening his blanket coat. "It was cold enough the first time!" He fingered his necklace, still enchanted to protect against the chill. "This charm can only do so much."
"Hey!" she chimed in, annoyed. "You know you'd be worse off without it."
"Or you could wear a shirt," Auron added.
"Or we could go someplace that isn't the ass end of an icicle, like the rest of them crusaders did!"
"You would delay Braska's Pilgrimage even more?" Auron grumbled. "We're already suffering this setback for your sake." He scowled and adjusted the blanket across his lap.
Braska clucked his tongue from his own bed, where he was reclining with his arms behind his head. He was weathering the climate change within the ship with ease, even offering his lone blanket to Jecht. "Witnessing the birth of a Celestial Weapon is hardly a setback, Auron," he scolded. "I, for one, am eager to see what will happen."
"I suppose it will help against Sin," Auron admitted grudgingly, tucking his hands into his coat.
"Don't remind me that we gotta fight that thing, man. I don't think one sword is gonna make that big of a difference, Celestial or not."
Someone knocked on the door.
"Come in," Braska called out.
The door slid open and Ashe nodded at them. "We've arrived," she said, avoiding Rikku's eyes. "It's time." She glanced in Auron's direction and turned bright red.
"This is our stop, guys," Rikku said, snagging her blanket as she jumped from her bunk.
Ashe stopped her before she could leave the room, pushing a large wrapped bundle at her.
Rikku fumbled, but didn't drop it.
"For you and your friends," Ashe said. In her attempts to look away from Rikku and Auron, she spotted Jecht and the red of her face shifted to purple as her gaze dropped to the blankets piled around his lap. "From the captain!" she squeaked, all but fleeing the room.
"What exactly did you three do to elicit that response from the poor woman?" Braska asked suspiciously.
Rikku thought back to the supply closet and let out a dreamy sigh. "Everything."
Auron coughed.
Eyebrows raised, Braska faced Jecht. "Can you perhaps enlighten me?"
"Huh? Oh, Rikku said I asked her to check out my balls." He shrugged at Braska's incredulous stare. "What? It was an accident!"
"Oh, that was no accident," Rikku mumbled happily, mind firmly in the supply closet.
"Rikku," Auron broke through her stupor, smug smile in place. "The package?"
"Yeah, what's the surprise?" Jecht asked, flipping down from his bunk onto Auron's bed.
Auron grunted and booted Jecht off.
Rikku sat herself next to Auron and began sifting through the contents. "Wow. Three sets of Al Bhed thermals. We usually use these under our wetsuits to keep warm when we dive deep."
"Thank Yevon," Braska huffed, shucking off his outer robe and dispelling the blue glow glimmering over his bare skin. "I was growing tired of casting NulFrost."
"... That's an area of effect spell," Auron noted in clipped tones.
Braska blanched. "Err… it is quite taxing to maintain?"
"We'll talk later."
Jecht cracked his knuckles in agreement. Braska cleared his throat nervously.
"Less fight, more antifreeze," she said, handing out the appropriately-sized clothing. All three sets of it.
Auron frowned. "I see Keyakku's generosity knows definite bounds."
"Sorry." She winced. "At least you're the best dressed out of all of us for this trip?"
Auron tightened his grip on his blanket.
"Ehehehe." More digging unearthed two wetsuits, one of which was of a more feminine design. Squinting at the other, she said, "Looks like this one is yours, Jecht. Might be a little short, though."
Jecht caught the suit she tossed at him. "Wearin' midget clothin' is still better than freezin' my ass off." He was already pulling off his armguard, trying to squeeze into the thermals.
"Let's see… a pair of boots – they're for you too, Jecht," she said, handing over the shoes. "And last but not least, a bunch of Al Bhed potions to keep us going until we can reach a shop."
Her hands slowed down as she brushed over the folded note tucked between the vials. The spiked, hand-written script was brief and to the point.
Be safe, my sister.
She swallowed and crumpled it into a ball. "Let's gear up," she said. Her fingers shook, made clumsy by the lump of cold stone that seemed to have lodged itself in her belly. The nerve of that guy… like clothing and a few potions can make up for what he did!
Auron placed a hand against the small of her back. She stilled.
"It was a generous move," he told her. "Keyakku had no need to aid us."
"It's his way of saying goodbye," Rikku said tightly, yanking the thermal shirt down over her own clothes. "It's fine. It's not like I wanted to waltz into Bikanel and tell anyone who I am, anyhow." She struggled into her pants, avoiding the gazes she could feel. "Pollendina's just a tired old clan name that nobody cares about."
"It's your name," Auron said.
"No." She grabbed her wetsuit. "Pollendina is the name of a little girl living on Bikanel right now, learning how to do cartwheels in the sand and wondering where Sin will hit this year." I'm not that little girl anymore. I'm my own person. She met Braska's eyes and felt reassured by the faint nod of approval he gave her.
Auron's brow was still drawn.
"I'm Braska's Guardian," she finished. "Sir Rikku at your service!"
He tilted his head. "Sir?"
"I'm made up of too much awesome to not have a fancy title like the rest of you," she replied, standing to zip her wetsuit closed. Then she winced and twisted around a few times. "Ugh, I forgot how tight these things are."
Auron stared. "Perhaps an extra set of thermal garments are unnecessary after all," he muttered, tearing his eyes away. The he leaned over to Braska. "You're taking point today."
Braska let out an audible sigh of disappointment.
Jecht grimaced. "Tight ain't even the half of it." He rolled an arm and a few of the stitches popped. "Well, I guess it's better than nothin'," he groused, bending over to don his armguard and popping another unfortunately-placed seam in the process.
"Ugh, okay, now that is officially too much information. If Braska's taking point, Jecht's taking the rear so I don't have to see his," Rikku groaned.
" 'ey! Ain't nothing wrong with my ass! Don't blame me if Auron's don't compare."
"I'm not worried," Auron said dryly.
"I am!" She covered her eyes. "Somebody save me from this before I lose my dinner!"
"Well, at least this journey into Macalania will be an interesting one," Braska said. He stood and pulled on his robes, conveniently blocking her view of Jecht. Glancing over each of them, he nodded. "If we are all appropriately dressed, let's see what awaits us outside."
They reached the deck in short order, and she had to pause to admire the sight spread before them. Lake Macalania shone like a jewel under the moon, sharpened by the chill of the night. Countless stars littered the heavens, reflecting off the snowy cliffside that extended on both sides as far as the eye could see. A few crystals glimmered in the air – pyreflies, perhaps, or just flakes of ice magically suspended by the force of the Fayth's dream. It was breathtaking, and devastatingly cold.
Rikku tightened the blanket she'd nicked around her shoulders and breathed out curling white plumes. "We can do this," she murmured, trying to keep her teeth from chattering.
"We have before," Braska agreed with her. "And we shall do so again." He faltered as a breeze cold enough to penetrate even his winterized clothing blew past. "Is it not strange? We want not for gil yet have fewer supplies than ever."
"Money is worthless without a shop to spend it in," Auron said gruffly, tucking his red coat closed. "Besides, regardless of our finances, it's to our favor to keep our heads down. Whether they think us celebrities or heretics, at the moment, the world at large likely believes we've fallen. We can continue the Pilgrimage unhindered by Bevelle. Or Luca, for that matter."
"Ain't like we're disappearin' forever. The end game is to beat down Sin, right?" Jecht scratched his head, then shivered. "Kinda think people are gonna notice that."
Auron led them to the edge of the ship, where a few Al Bhed, including Keyakku, were waiting. "If we can complete our objective in Macalania and then reach the Calm Lands without raising attention, nothing else will stand in our way. It will be too late for the Church to do anything but watch."
"First, though, how're we even gonna get up there anyway?" Jecht eyed the snowy cliffside. "S'not like this boat can fly."
"That's a really good question." Keyakku stepped forward. "We've brought you here, as requested, but we don't have the equipment to scale the barrier."
"Thank you for all of your help, Keyakku," Braska said, bowing to his nephew. "You have my deepest gratitude for everything you have done for us. Please… tell your father I am sorry for the troubles I caused him. I will do my best to ensure Raenn's death was not in vain."
Keyakku paled. "Uncle! You don't have to – you can still come home to Bikanel. Bring Yuna to meet the rest of the family! I'm sure she and Rikku will get along well…" He trailed off and avoided Rikku's eyes.
Braska smiled knowingly. "I don't doubt it. I'm afraid I will have to refuse your offer, however. My duty lies elsewhere, now." He turned to study the cliffside.
With Keyakku so close and the tension nearly a tangible thing between them, Rikku couldn't help but hope that his stubborn streak would break and he'd say something supportive. Or even just give them a friendly thumbs-up.
He was still her brother. That had to mean something, right?
She smirked bitterly when he didn't deliver, huddling further into her blanket.
"Your thoughts?" Auron prodded Braska.
"Bahamut," Braska said. "It will take more than one trip, but he is strong enough to carry us over."
"But how're ya gonna get up there while you're in Rapture?" Jecht cut in. "What'd you an' Blondie do before?"
"Well," Braska said, pleased, "Rikkma, if you'll just come over here, perhaps we can demonstrate – "
"Find another way," Auron cut in, brows lowered.
Braska sighed. "I understand your reservations, Auron, but you are being unnecessarily difficult. Flying is the simplest way to reach our goal."
Auron's stone-faced expression didn't shift. "Flying aeons might be seen by the Temple."
Although a good point, Rikku was willing to bet that reason wasn't motivating Auron's bout of sullen logic.
"Hmm. Perhaps you're correct. I do have another idea." He motioned to the Al Bhed. "Stand back, please."
"Auron, Jecht, he's gonna cast something," Rikku translated, and they cleared a small ring around the summoner.
Braska closed his eyes and kneeled, holding his staff up. Runes surrounded him and Shiva descended from the sky with a melodic ring of crystal. She threw her cloak back and regarded the gaping Al Bhed. Then she stepped before Braska, trailing mist.
What's he planning?
Shiva raised two fingers to her lips and spun.
"Isn't that – ?"
A slab of ice slammed into the side of the cliff. Shiva raised her arm, gathering power in a glowing ball of white light. Leaning back, the aeon thrust it forward, sending blasts of ice and snow against the cliffside.
"If she snaps her fingers, the resulting avalanche will sink this ship," Auron said after a few moments of stunned silence.
"Maybe ya shoulda just let him summon the dragon," Jecht replied, sounding nervous as he rubbed at a scar on his face.
Shiva, however, didn't straighten, and the spell kept billowing from her outstretched hands. As her magic howled and raged, the icy formation grew into a spiked, crystalline bridge leading to the edge of the snowy cliff. Finally, Shiva ended her spell, tossing her braided hair over one shoulder. With one last contemptuous glance, she leapt off the deck and disappeared in a swirl of pyreflies.
Braska stood and shook his head. "I'm not sure how long that structure will hold. We'd best move quickly."
"Wow…" Keyakku said, audibly impressed. "You've got your own personal ice sculptor." Getting past his shock, he motioned to his crew. "Bring the ship to the edge of that thing. Go, all of you! I'll see our guests off."
Rikku nodded at the Al Bhed as they passed; some even smiled. It was nice to be back for a little while, she thought, turning to take one last look at her ship, nostalgia kicking her lips upward.
"So," Keyakku began, clapping her shoulder. "This is it?"
"This is it," she answered, wistful smile fading.
He looked away but kept his grip on her. "Will I ever see you again?"
She crossed her arms. "When you reach Home, you can see me as much as you want."
"I meant you – this you." His hand clutched her, face stretched tight with regret.
"Not if I can help it, Kei," she said, shrinking away from the weight of his palm. "Maybe some things are better left in the past."
"Or the future," he agreed. His hand dropped away. "Goodbye. And good luck. Don't mess up, Rie-Rie."
"Gee, thanks," Rikku said, turning away.
"I mean it," he called after her, voice wavering. "Good luck. Maybe someone like you doesn't need it, though."
She stopped and faced him, frowning. What's he trying to pull now?
Keyakku smiled ruefully. "Just keep pushing and reach your goal, okay? If you believe in this path that much, I've got to believe you can succeed."
"...Yeah," she said, confused. Maybe my Kei-Kei wasn't a complete fantasy? Biting her lip, she looked at him one last time, trying to take in his appearance: young, healthy, and… heartbroken.
"I love you," he said, his words almost lost to the wind.
"... I love you too, Kei," she managed to respond.
Too much. This is too much.
Turning, she fled.
The ship was still pulling flush against the icy bridge Shiva had created, but the gap was small enough to traverse, and she wasted no time in doing so. Auron called her name but she ignored him, scrambling over the slick ice as quickly as she could.
That stupid brother of mine… can't even just say goodbye without making things complicated, can he?
" 'ey! Slow down!" Jecht was quick to catch up, practically loping up the bridge. "Why're you runnin'?"
She stopped to face him, panting. "I'm just mad! So mad! He really just… Keyakku... ugh!"
Jecht belted out a laugh. "You sound just like my son." He crossed his arms and sighed. "Want me to keep the boys away 'till you're done cryin'?"
Straightening, Rikku scrubbed the already-freezing tears from her face. "Don't bother," she growled. "There'll be enough tears on this Pilgrimage. No need to add more."
Ignoring Jecht's thoughtful frown, she tried to continue her desperate scramble upwards.
He lunged and grabbed her ankle, tripping her.
Squealing, she face-planted onto the ice bridge, sliding in an undignified heap back towards him. He planted a foot on her butt to stop her from continuing all the way down the bridge.
Lifting her head, she spat snow and glared. "If you were trying to kill me, you're gonna regret failing in about two seconds!"
"I'm kinda thinkin' you ain't in no shape to go up there alone," Jecht told her, unapologetic. He ground the heel of his foot in; she wheezed. "Wait up for Auron, at least."
She struggled, but Jecht's foot had her pinned.
What the heck does he think he's doing? It's not fair! None of this was supposed to happen! Seeing Keyakku again at all was just mean! And then finding out how ruthless he really is… except for just now, that's not the brother I knew! My Keyakku wasn't supposed to be like this!
Her struggles died out. Had that been it the whole time?
He's different from how I thought he was. Just like Jecht, and Braska… and Auron.
Why was everyone proving different than her memories?
The heavy tramp of Auron's boots approached and the pressure on her backside eased off.
"Thanks," Auron said.
"No problem," Jecht grunted. "I'm gonna go help Braska up. Better you deal with this Bite Bug than me."
Sitting up, Rikku glared at Auron as Jecht carefully retraced his steps. "I don't wanna talk about it."
Leaving one family for another shouldn't have hurt this much.
"Did I ask?" Auron shot back, hauling her to her feet. "You don't have to explain anything to me," he said, and that finally made her see him. He didn't look at her as he tugged her against his chest, as though to shield her from the cutting wind. "If you want to cry, then cry. If you want to scream, then scream. Just don't hurt yourself. I won't allow it."
She couldn't answer, overwhelmed. I don't have to be strong right now, do I? She gasped, only partly in relief, and turned her face into Auron's neck.
His arms came around her, and she let herself break in the protective circle of his embrace.
.x.x.x.
"Oh, thank Yevon," Braska exclaimed as they crested another snowy hill.
Despite her feelings about the Church, Rikku had to agree with the sentiment. Traveling Lake Macalania's wilds by day was hard; doing it in the freezing cold of the night was masochistic.
"I am exhausted," he declared, leaning on his staff and breathing heavily. Despite his words, Auron's endurance training seemed to be paying off – Braska had managed to keep up with the rest of them this time around.
She masked a small grin.
Even Jecht fared well, finally able to pull his own weight against the fiends there. He planted his black sword into the snow and squinted at the light in the distance. "That's the Agency, ain't it? I'm 'bout ready to thank this Yevon guy myself."
Auron surveyed the steep path down the cliff towards the well-travelled road. "We're only stopping here for supplies and moving on towards the Forest immediately."
Rikku, Jecht, and Braska groaned in unison.
Auron cut them off. "If we want to remain unnoticed, we can't afford to spend a night so close to the Temple. In fact, the less of us who enter the Agency itself, the better."
"Damn! You mean we ain't gettin' a break from this cold, either?" Jecht sulked.
"Stop complaining."
She cringed. "I'm guessing I'm not gonna be the lucky winner of the 'hot or not' contest, huh?"
Auron's stern expression softened. "You and Jecht are too recognizable, especially in those outfits. They'll most likely remember Braska, as well; it's best to keep a low profile here. If those in Bevelle catch wind of our presence, they'll be certain to draw us into their power struggle."
"Aww," she mumbled, rubbing her hands together. "Would that really be so bad, though? I mean, at least we'd be warm. Plus, Yunie's there!"
"Unfortunately, Auron is correct. You're forgetting that you and Jecht are still technically criminals within the city. The only reason you were released from your incarceration is because they expected us to fail, and miserably at that. Now that we have come so far, we pose a real threat to Mika, and Kinoc will surely desire to have us as his pawns," Braska said, that irritatingly reasonable tone creeping into his voice.
Rikku quashed the surge of disappointment and the uncharitable thought that Braska just wanted to avoid his daughter.
"It falls to me, then, to handle the purchase of supplies while you three wait outside," Auron said. "We'll move on immediately."
They began a weary trudge towards the road below, and Rikku tried to ignore her shivers. Keyakku's parting gifts were lifesavers in the bone-chilling cold, but she was still losing feeling in her toes. We can't get to Macalania Forest fast enough.
"This ain't fun at all," Jecht muttered.
She listened with half an ear, slipping on a treacherous patch of ice. "Give me the desert heat any day over this," she groaned.
The sound of something heavy hitting the slope behind her made her turn around.
Jecht was looping his foot through one of the dangling chains on the hilt of his sword, which he'd dropped flat against the snow. Stepping onto the blade, he bent his knees and bounced experimentally.
"Oh, for the love of – you're gonna try swordboarding here?" Rikku cried.
"Snow-swordin', Blondie. Get it right!"
"Whatever!" She threw up her arms in frustration. "We're not in the Temple anymore, I don't think it's really safe – "
"Save it! It'll be even better than the last time!"
"Last time ended with Auron fishing you out by your feet after you went ass over teakettle into a snowdrift," she reminded him.
Ignoring her, he pushed off, sailing down the slope. He curved in a sharp arc, directing a spray of snow at Auron and Braska, prompting loud curses from them both.
Jecht's entertainment was short lived, however; his makeshift board hit a protrusion and he went airborne, arms windmilling. With a crash, he landed head-first into the snow and rolled the rest of the way down the hill, coming to a stop at the side of the road.
"I suppose I shall have to see if he's still breathing," Braska said, sounding less than enthused about it. He pushed clumps of snow off his headdress.
"If he is, don't bother healing him." Auron shook some snow out of his collar. "Any part of him that has not yet been bruised is going to be shortly." He did a double-take as he caught sight of Rikku. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What?" she asked innocently, adjusting her goggles. "It looked fun!"
"You've got to be kidding – "
With a running start, she flung herself into the snow, gripping her fully-extended Godhand between both hands like a mini-sled. "Alright!" she cheered, picking up speed as the dark hillside whizzed by. "Way easier than walking!"
Her exhilaration was short lived; the same bump of unusual width that had ruined Jecht's run sent her airborne.
"Or no—AAHT!" Her scream cut off as she hit the ground, rolling the rest of the way down the hill. Sitting up with a groan, Rikku coughed and wiped her mouth, wondering how she'd managed a more impressive wipeout than Jecht.
"Celestial Weapons are awesome," he mumbled dazedly, sprawled next to her.
Rikku giggled, dusting snow from her hair. "You betcha!"
Auron, who'd raced down the hill, used Jecht as a stepping stone on his way over. "Are you all right?" he asked, scanning her for injuries as he kneeled next to her.
"I'm fine," she told him, flexing both arms in demonstration.
The tension in his face transformed into annoyance. "Unbelievable," he muttered. "This is what you call a low profile?" He stood and walked back towards the road, detouring only to plant another boot in Jecht's back. "Clean yourselves up and wait outside," he said, stomping towards the Agency.
Braska slid to a stop between them, leaning on his staff. "Are either of you grievously injured?" he asked in a tone that implied the correct answer should be negative.
"Nope," Rikku offered, seeking out her weapon and shaking off the snow. "That was exciting, though!"
"My armpits are freezin' now," Jecht added, hopping to his feet. "You think the Stiff'll mind if I sneak into the Agency anyway?"
"I'd advise you not to tempt fate," Braska said amicably. "Rest assured, as soon as we've traveled a good distance from the Temple, I shall call upon Ifrit to warm you."
"Bein' stuck out in the cold makes everyone happy," Jecht grumbled, grabbing his sword and wiping it clean. "Say, we didn't make a sphere our first time 'round here, did we?"
Braska raised an eyebrow. "You are thinking of that now?" Then he studied the landscape. "Although Macalania is rather different in the evening, I suppose."
"Well, what else are we gonna do while we're waitin'?" Jecht said. "Back me up here, Blondie."
Rikku rolled her eyes, digging through her pouch. "We can do a sneak attack on Auron when he comes out the door. It'll be payback for leaving us outside!"
"I would have thought you'd be more supportive of Auron's decision," Braska said. "You two have been getting along very well."
Finding an empty sphere, she grinned. "Dating Auron doesn't mean he gets a free pass! If I don't get to warm up in the inn, he doesn't get to avoid starring in Jecht's home movie collection." She offered the sphere to Jecht.
"Naw, I wanna be in it, too! This is for Tidus, so you gotta hold it."
Nodding, Rikku lifted the sphere and tried to punch the control to turn it on. Her numbed fingers slipped, but a hasty juggle kept her from dropping the sphere. "That was close!"
"Are you feeling well?" Braska asked with a hint of worry. "You aren't usually this clumsy."
Righting the sphere, she shrugged. "I'm as good as I can be in this weather, I guess. I can't feel my fingers anymore, so gimmie a minute to get this – "
Braska's unexpected Cure removed some of the numbness from her hands and was followed by swirling globes of blue light that settled against her skin, buffering the chill of the night air.
"Do you feel any better?" Braska asked, and she gave him a grateful nod.
" 'ey! What about me?" Jecht complained. "My fingers are cold too!"
"As I have said before, this is a very draining spell to maintain," Braska lied, pointedly shaking snow from his robes. "Besides, Rikku is family. It's my duty to take extra care of her."
"Umm," she said, fiddling with the sphere. "Thanks, but you really don't have to treat me like I'm special."
"I beg to differ," he replied, prying the sphere from her. Switching it on, he held it up. "So. What is it you wish to record, Jecht?"
"That!" Jecht said, pointing as the Agency door swung open and Auron stepped out, carrying a bulging pack.
Letting the door shut behind him, Auron froze, then narrowed his eyes. "And what are you doing now?" he asked with an air of resignation.
"Makin' memories!" Scampering up to the entrance, Jecht grinned and threw an arm over Auron's shoulders. "Now smile and say shoopuf!"
Auron shrugged the arm off, walking away. "Fine, but keep your hands to yourself. Shoopuf."
"You're supposed to smile, too!" Rikku called out.
"I am smiling." His face was like granite. "Is this also for Yuna?"
"Actually, it's for Jecht's son this time," Braska replied, trying to angle to camera to include both men. He frowned. "Auron, could you stand closer to him?"
With a long-suffering sigh, Auron nodded and repositioned himself beside Jecht, who grinned and threw his arm around the other man's shoulders once again.
Auron rolled his eyes but didn't shake Jecht off this time. "Don't ask me to make small talk," he warned.
Braska chuckled and shook his head. "Good. That should do it," he told them, panning the sphere to include the Agency's large banner. Lowering it, he looked out over the dark, snowy glacier, twinkling in the scattered moonlight. "I shall miss this," he murmured. "All of it. Even despite the hardships, this has been a fulfilling journey."
"C'mon man, don't be such a downer! We'll pound Sin and make it out the other side in one piece." Jecht grinned. "I'll even teach you guys how to snow-sword!"
Braska's answering smile was tired. "Thank you, but I'll have to pass on your invitation."
Jecht smirked. "You say that now, but I'll get you to change your mind, B. Just you wait!"
A tense hush descended, and Rikku swallowed. Every step drew Braska towards his inevitable conclusion, yet he still hadn't mentioned his fate to Jecht.
For every secret we unravel, there seems to be a dozen more to bury us, she thought, feeling cold despite Braska's spell.
Auron ground his teeth together, and he shook himself out of Jecht's grasp. "There won't be any lessons after Sin."
"What's the matter now?" Jecht asked, surprised. He squinted at Auron. " 'Fraid I might bite?"
"Jecht..." Auron trailed off and lowered his head, his scowl deepening.
Jecht shrugged. "Whatever, man. You're always gettin' in these moods." He looked over at the others and grinned. "Braska! You should take one, too. It'd make a great gift for little Yuna!"
"I suppose," Braska said, looking at the sphere in his hands.
Reaching out, Rikku grabbed a flap on the arm of Braska's robe. "Don't," she said, meeting his eyes. "Don't do this to him."
"Braska..." Auron had stepped forward and was now also staring at Braska. His frown was crumbling into something more brittle. "Will you continue, my lord?"
Jecht looked between them. "I must be missin' somethin' here. Blondie? You gonna translate?"
Rikku's knuckles turned white, her grip tightening. "Don't make me do this," she whispered, desperate. "Not to Jecht. Not anymore. Please."
Braska tensed, his hands clenching around the sphere. But he said nothing, and Rikku's mouth twisted.
Auron's expression turned dark. "We shouldn't be wasting our time like this!" He slung the pack over his shoulder and strode through the snow so quickly, Jecht had to jog to catch up with him.
"Wait, what's up, Auron?"
Auron ignored Jecht and continued to plow towards Braska. He pulled Rikku away from the summoner, cradling her in the crook of his arm. "Say nothing," he said to her. "This is not your burden."
"But I can't do it anymore," she mumbled, turning her face into Auron's coat. "I hate it. I hate all these secrets!"
Jecht caught up with them, a definite scowl stretching across his face. "Somebody gonna tell me what the sudden hurry is?"
Auron released Rikku and whirled on him, shielding her from Jecht's view. "Let me tell you what the hurry is!" he snapped.
Braska started. "Auron!" he yelled, shutting the sphere down. "A summoner's privilege – !"
"Even you should be able to figure it out by now!" Auron snarled at Jecht, interrupting Braska. "Rikku has been a Guardian before. She knows the price. If we fail, Braska dies!"
"I will not fail!" Braska's shout was even louder than Auron's.
Undaunted, Auron faced him, his fury obvious in the tense line of his shoulders and the jagged scowl on his face. "You'll still die!" His words sliced through the air, sharper than any sword.
"What? Whaddaya mean, Braska still dies?"
Rikku bowed her head and huddled further into Auron's warmth. Jecht needed to know, but finding out like this was crueler than he deserved. But, is there any way to tell him without hurting him?
The answer was obvious in how none of them were willing to meet Jecht's eyes.
"The fate of all summoners who call the Final Aeon," Auron eventually ground out, resignation and loss tempering his tone. "The final summon is a human sacrifice, Jecht. Whether we win or merely die trying – Braska won't return."
The title comes from a quote of "A Familiar Rain" by John Geddes:
"...I gave you painted air – tears I couldn't weep – truths I couldn't speak – all the words that caught in my throat..."
Thanks for waiting so long for this chapter. A huge thanks to my beta for taking the time to beat it into shape. Leave a review and let me know what you think! And have a Happy Halloween / Reformation Day / Fall Festival if you celebrate it in your country!