55: Going Wild
Rubbing his jaw, Auron straightened and faced Rikku. "I'm not fighting you."
Posing provocatively, she blew him a kiss. "I thought you wanted me out of this outfit, mister."
"Not like this."
"You didn't go flyin' like that when I punched you in the face, man," Jecht wondered. "How'd she get so strong?"
"I'm sorry," Braska whispered. "I had no idea this would happen. I suppose I desired strength more than I realized."
Rikku licked her knuckles, then smiled.
"Yeah. Strength. That's what you call that, huh?" Jecht muttered. Pushing a fuming Auron behind him, he raised his voice. "Blondie! I'll fight ya if you want. Don't take it out on the Stiff. Can't blame him for not wantin' to hit his girl, yanno?"
Oh, no you don't, hero. I've got some lessons to teach! "Get lost, Jecht!" she shouted. Glaring, she pointed one clawed finger at Auron. "I don't want to fight anyone but him."
"I think that means she wants to kick your ass before she rides it," Jecht said to Auron.
Braska choked.
"Bad luck," Auron replied sourly, reaching for his coat.
She somersaulted forward, whipping it out of his hands with her foot. "No, I mean it," she growled, crouching. "This isn't just because of Braska's sphere. Or your very fine ass," she added with a toothy smile. "You wanted to know if I could keep him safe, right? Now's your chance to find out."
Jaw working, Auron eyed her. Finally, he spat and grabbed his sword. "Fine. But you have to take that abomination off afterwards."
"We'll see how much you want me to after I beat you," she purred, dropping into her fighting stance.
"Hey, you sure you wanna do this?" Jecht asked as Auron shoved past him, brandishing his weapon.
"She asked for it," he replied. Then, he pointed his sword at her. "I won't hold back."
"Good," she smirked.
The smirk dropped when he lunged without preamble, wielding his sword like a club.
"Whoa!" she yelled, tumbling out of reach of the heavy sword. It slammed into the ground; he'd flipped it to the blunt side. "Thought you said you wouldn't hold back," she sneered, righting herself and rocking back and forth in a wide ginga.
Auron stepped into a guard, sword up and eyes narrowed. "What are you trying to prove?"
"That I'm good enough," she snarled, launching into a diagonal cartwheel. Auron skipped out of the reach of her kick, but as she came to a stand she grabbed his sword arm and yanked him forward.
Caught off guard by the force of her tug – she knew she was stronger than even Auron now – he went flying forward, directly into the path of the straight punch she threw at his face. She hissed as her knuckles only grazed the side of his cheek; he'd somehow managed to twist his head out of the way despite her hold on his forearm.
Unfortunately, the missed punch left her completely exposed, and taking a page out of Jecht's technique, Auron brought his knee up into her abdomen. She wheezed and fell over, but caught herself on both arms before she could completely collapse. Turning her save into a handstand, she spread her legs in a split, twisting violently into a helicopter kick which forced him to scramble away from her.
Jecht whistled. "She's good!"
"She's flexible." Braska sounded distracted; whether with fascination or mortification at her behavior, she didn't have time to spare a guess.
Auron, to her disappointment, wasn't nearly as stunned by her newfound talents. He brought his sword before him and rushed her, still trying to use the weapon like a battering ram.
Hmph, I'll make you take me seriously!
Rather than dodging, she stepped up and crossed her arms to meet the strike. It hurt; he was still strong.
Just not strong enough.
Gritting her teeth, she stopped his downward momentum. His eyes widened – now he's getting it – and she threw her arms open, pushing him back. He staggered. She flipped into another handstand, then scissored her legs around him and threw him to the ground. Pushing up straight through her arms, she launched her knee at Auron's face, stopping a hair's breadth before his nose.
His eyes darted from her knee to her face. She grinned, holding herself still while delicately balanced, before twisting away.
"Do you think we could convince her to fight all of us?" Braska asked.
"Keep it in yer pants, B!"
Auron rolled to his feet, regarding her warily. Blood pounding in her ears, Rikku stared back. His eyes were chips of onyx in the weak light of the fire and his chest rose and fell unevenly.
Not so unaffected as you'd claim, Iceman? Triumphant, she sunk into her battle crouch and began to rock back and forth again. "Bring it," she said huskily as the excitement of the fight coursed through her veins. It was different from the times they'd seduced each other in bed – this time, it was dangerous. She made a throaty noise of satisfaction when he brought his sword up, finally in a proper stance.
Auron lashed out, a low strike aimed at her legs. She leapt into the air, twisting into a handless cartwheel that sent both feet perilously close to his face once more. They both missed, but she completed her rotation when she hit the ground, sweeping his feet from under him.
You need to stay on your feet to fight, she thought as he sprung back up. Dancing away from his next swing, she laughed. My style is formless. I'll break your roots and devour you with chaos!
He tried to use his sword's reach to hit her, but she ducked under his forward thrust. Balancing on one hand, she swiftly lifted her legs and kicked, narrowly avoiding his sword to connect with his chin.
She spun into cartwheel; he caught her left leg on the upswing, trapping her in place, but she leaned back, used his own hand as a springboard, and smashed her free foot into his neck.
He grunted as he stumbled backwards, releasing her.
"Satisfied yet?" she asked, rolling back into a standing position.
"Not even close," he muttered thickly, wiping his lip. A smear of blood painted his chin and Rikku's heartbeat quickened as she sucked in air. Yevon, I want him so bad.
She launched herself at Auron, twisting low and raising her thigh into a powerful blow aimed at his torso. Smiling wickedly, she changed her momentum at the last minute to avoid his block, and smashed her balled fist into his exposed sword arm instead with all of her strength.
He dropped the heavy sword with a pained shout; she scooped it up and clubbed him with it. "Payback's a bitch," she panted as he dropped like a stone.
Pushing himself to his elbows, Auron looked up at her through his mussed hair. "You…" He sprung to his feet and tackled her, wrapping his arms around her.
She snarled, managing to keep on her feet as she struggled to break free. "That's more like it!"
They scuffled against one another, all grace and fluidity gone from the fight. Finally tearing away, she leaned back and slid her leg behind his. As she swept his feet out from under him, she threw her elbow into his chest, slamming him backwards into the ground.
Spinning, she straddled him, trapping his wrists beneath her clawed hands. "Guess what?" she panted, baring her teeth. "You win." Leaning forward, she pressed her hungry mouth against his, flicking her tongue out to lap away his blood.
Auron made a low sound in the back of this throat, straining against her hold as he returned her kiss with a searing one of his own.
"Uh… guys?"
Rikku tried to ignore Jecht's voice, grinding against Auron and relishing in the muffled groan she pulled from him.
"Hey, come on now!" Jecht sounded angrier. "Once a day is enough! You ain't sendin' me back out there in the middle of the night just 'cause you got some fight fetish thing goin' on!"
Pulling away to flash a dangerous glare at Jecht – and Braska, who remained suspiciously silent and attentive – she growled. "If you know what's good for you, you guys'll make yourselves scarce."
Beneath her, Auron managed to free his arms. "Take off those clothes," he gasped.
"I was waiting for you to say that," she agreed, grinning down at him. Then she yelped in surprise as his hands found her waist – and deactivated her dressphere.
The burst of light faded, freezing Rikku in place as her sanity returned.
Hoo boy. Her face immediately started burning and she stared at Auron, too embarrassed to look at the others. "Umm..." She broke the sudden silence, acutely aware of just how much their tussle had affected him. "Sorry?"
Auron's head fell back against the ground and he shut his eyes. "Just… don't move yet," he muttered, breathing deeply. "I swear to Yevon, you're going to be the death of me."
Despite their position, and the fact that it really was all her fault, Rikku couldn't contain a tiny snigger. "It would've been a nice little death, though," she whispered.
Chuckling, Auron sat up, gently sliding her off. "I'm sorry I hit you," he said. "You did ask for it, though."
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, too," she added, gesturing at his jaw before straightening her clothes self-consciously. "Lemmie get you a potion for that," she added, catching sight of the bruises starting to swell on Auron's face.
"I could heal you both," Braska called from across the fire; at some point during the awkward silence, Jecht had apparently herded him away.
"No!" Rikku and Auron shouted in tandem. Then they looked at each other and laughed, easing some of the tension still sparking between them.
"I think we've all had enough stimulation for today," she said, pushing to her feet and stumbling towards her pack.
"I'll say," Jecht muttered. He was seated next to Braska, scribbling furiously in a glittery pink notebook.
"What's that?" she asked as she searched for a few healing potions.
"Therapy." Jecht buried his head into his book.
Well, I can't blame him. Grabbing the discarded red coat and some potions, she returned to Auron's side.
They drank the liquid, and the cooling tickle of magic danced down her throat, spreading out to her bruises and numbing their sharp pain to a dull throb. She rolled the vial in her palms and asked, "You okay?"
"I don't know yet," Auron said, smoothing out his hair. He glanced at her sidelong, and though he looked away quickly, she caught the expression flickering through his eyes.
Her post-battle lassitude faded abruptly, turning into an icy chill as the enormity of her actions hit her. I used one of Braska's most intimate, honest, weakest moments as a costume. I wore his feelings for everyone to see, and Auron got it.
She chanced a glance at Braska; his face was cheerful, if a bit embarrassed as he verbally sparred with Jecht. He caught sight of her and his smile wavered, before returning with full force as he responded to something the other man said.
Ugh. I think I messed up big time.
"Yes. You're more than capable of defending Braska in that outfit." Rikku's attention zoomed back to Auron, and a sense of humiliation overcame her, one that ran much deeper than displaying her lusts and desires so brazenly before the other men. She'd humiliated him, too, on multiple levels – not only besting him at combat, but doing it using Braska's feelings for her. To say nothing about how obvious those feelings were from her behavior alone.
Auron's not nearly as good at pretending everything's okay as Braska is.
"But," he continued gamely, "I'm not sure I want you to use it around him." He grumbled. "Or anyone else, for that matter."
"It's not like I'd really have to use Braska's sphere, you know? I've still got you, too," she said, handing over his coat. "Yeah, it's risky, but between the Samurai and Berserker spheres, I think I could get Braska through the Calm Lands on my own." She studied her boots, tapping her toes nervously. "It won't be like last time, you know."
"I know."
Something about the way he said it gave her pause and she squinted. Yep, he's mad. "I swear," she tried again. "It's not like that between me and Braska anymore. We've moved on."
"Is it?" She glanced up as Auron donned his red coat and turned to look at Braska. "I believe you, but, I don't believe Braska shares your outlook. He's… very good at holding on to the things he cares about." He slipped, there – some of the turmoil he was trying to bury surfaced into an ugly grimace before he managed to school his features back into their usual scowl. Auron's gaze drifted towards her, his eyes like chips of glass. "You'll have to be careful around him. And I don't know if you know how to be careful at all."
She opened her mouth to protest, but shut it again quickly; how many times had ignoring Auron left her in a pickle before? Maybe he has a point. Still…
"I've learned how to be careful of you."
He rolled his eyes and made to rise.
No you don't. Yanking him back down, she said, "I won't break your heart again. I swear!"
"You say that now, but you will. Multiple times, most likely." And the worst part was he sounded resigned. "And, each time, I'll be fool enough to pick up the pieces and keep running after you," he said irritably. "I… also have trouble letting go."
She released him, wounded more by his honesty than their physical tussle had managed. "If that's how you really feel, we can collect Yojimbo together, you know. We don't have to split up." It stung that he still didn't trust her to be alone with Braska, but at least he had kept his word and been honest about his own feelings.
Even if the truth hurt.
They fell into a silent, uncomfortable impasse; she fidgeted, the burden of blame weighing heavy on her shoulders this time.
This is about Auron and me now. I can't ignore this. He'd bravely placed his abused heart into her careless hands, and she'd bruised it and left him even more cautious and wounded. His behavior brought the bumps and burrs in their relationship into sharp focus.
He thinks he's just a tiny, disposable part of my world. And I can't explain to him why he's so wrong – that he's the reason I'm even here! She looked away from him. Auron taught me not to run, so I won't run from this. I did this to him. This is my fault. I cheated on him with Braska. Maybe not physically, but in every way that counts.
Auron sighed heavily. "No. Your plan is sound. It would accomplish our most pressing goals in an efficient manner and I'd be a fool to reject it out of jealousy." He ran an agitated hand through his hair, making it oddly reminiscent of his future look. "But you've managed to turn me into a fool."
"What can I do to prove to you that nothing is going to happen between me and Braska?"
"Wear a chastity belt," he muttered.
Rikku fingered her garment grid. "I don't think it does that."
"Indeed. It does the opposite," Auron agreed, shifting uncomfortably. "I'll just need to take it on faith that you'll be true to your word and resist his advances." He reached out and drew her close. "I can be a man of faith again. For you, one more time." He paused, and then continued, loudly enough for his voice to carry over the fire. "I can also castrate Braska."
"I heard that, my friend," Braska replied, having returned to picking at his belt. "Rest assured, I will do nothing to Rikku that you would not."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Auron snapped.
"Whoa, calm down," she said, pulling Auron back. "He's just baiting you."
"I know," Auron grit out, glaring at Braska.
The other man blinked serenely in response.
His smugness hit her like a lightning bolt. She knew Braska, possibly more than Auron did. He was, in his own way, just as wounded by the show she'd given them that evening. His characteristic equanimity after being so rawly exposed was just another way of avoiding his own emotional minefields.
There's no way he's as collected as he'd like us to believe.
Braska caught her stare and ducked his head, ripping another red thread from his belt. His fingers were swift and sure as he plucked at the strings.
If we leave together, he won't do anything to me this time around.
Rikku knew it with a certainty that she couldn't easily explain, but he'd hurt Auron, too. And in some ways, Auron was more precious to him than her.
Braska was just as cautious as she now, even if more experienced at carrying overwhelming burdens of guilt. He was trying to avoid close scrutiny by wearing the mask of a lecher rather than a holy man; a behavior he'd no doubt managed to pick up from observing Jecht, considering all the time the two had been spending together lately. No one tended to take Jecht's running commentary seriously; but that was because Jecht was about as sincere as a used machina salesman – everyone knew how devoted he was to his own, missing family.
It's a little different when your fiction is grounded in reality. And that's what it was; a finely crafted performance, as usual for their summoner, but still a fiction. In the end, it was the same problem as before.
He's hiding something. She stared at Braska as her mind churned.
He'd wanted to be strong – to have the strength to stand on his own – in Baaj, but had instead ended up using her as a crutch. Then, he'd fought with Anima and ultimately defeated the aeon on his own.
So, if he had the ability to be strong back then, why hasn't he ever tapped that strength since?
Braska glanced up at her and stilled, tension flickering across his face before settling into a more relaxed expression.
And that's another mask… but this time, I think I know why.
She turned her attention back to Auron. "There's something I can prove to you, at least." Reaching down, she reactivated her belt.
Auron jerked away as her horn, claws, and large swaths of bare skin made a return. "What are you doing? Take that off right now!"
This was a risky gamble; the adrenaline was overtaking her again, but if it worked… she'd win back Auron and help Braska, too. "Just watch. Trust me."
Though the deep frown seemed to be chiseled into his face, he nodded. "Fine."
Jecht looked up from his book and balked. "Aw hell. C'mon man, you were supposed to be talkin' her down!"
Ignoring them, she rolled gracefully to her feet. She slunk around the fire, eyes trained on Braska, who'd frozen. Hello, prey.
Wide-eyed, he swallowed when she stopped before him. "... is there something you wanted to discuss?" he said, valiantly keeping his eyes on her face.
Mostly.
Rikku leaned down, placing her chest at his eye-level. "Mmm. Didn't you request a challenge?"
Braska started. "It's a bit late for these games, Rikku. What you are doing is wrong, and I refuse to participate in whatever scheme you have planned."
"Nervous much?" She winked, refusing to budge.
His blue eyes hardened. "Not particularly. You are my Guardian, after all."
Gotta push him more. She slid closer, tracking the single bead of sweat that rolled down his forehead. Then, closer still. "What was it you said before?" she hummed, reaching out and gently tugging the belt out of his grasp, throwing it to the side. "Your body disagrees." She worked her fingers around the clasp of his robe.
Braska's lips parted. Then, his hand shot up to wrap around her wrist. "Rikku." His throat bobbed. "Stop."
"Why?" she purred. "Are you not enjoying all this attention? Isn't that what you wanted?" She lowered her voice. "What you hungered for? Aren't I the manifestation of your dream?" Her tone turned mocking. "Am I not your strength?"
"A summoner does not fight with his body," he answered weakly.
Another bead of sweat tracked down his temple; this time, however, Rikku was confident that it was her words and not her proximity that caused it. She traced the shell of his ear with her lips.
"Prove it," she whispered.
He gasped in surprise as her grip tightened, and then eyed her in disbelief when she tugged, hard, and threw him past the fire. He flew past Auron – who ducked – and crashed into one of the leaning pillars of their camp, adding a new dent to it.
"Holy shit!" Jecht yelled, leaping to his feet. "How strong does that getup make ya?" He stopped and looked at her. "Uhh… do I gotta fight you now or somethin' ?"
Auron, too, had leapt to his feet, sword in hand. "Rikku! What are you doing?"
"Stop worrying. He'll heal." She crossed her arms and waited.
Auron and Jecht exchanged uncertain glances, but before they could decide what to do, Braska staggered to his feet, the glow of curative magic already surrounding him. It was followed in rapid succession by a Regen and Protect spell. "I think you broke one of my ribs," he coughed out, one hand on his side.
"I take back what I said earlier," she said, sauntering towards him. "Stop trying to look incompetent. Show Auron what you can do."
"What I can do?" Braska spat. "Do you actually wish for me to summon an aeon to defeat you?"
"Show them your true power," she growled, "or I'm going to beat you into a pulp right here, right now." Dropping into her battle stance, she continued. "I won't stop until you make them understand that you're not helpless around me."
"Blondie, the hell you been smokin' and where can I get it?" Jecht asked.
"True power. You mean the aeon you collected in Baaj?" Auron cut in. "Something else did happen there. Something neither of you will tell me about." His voice turned flinty. "I should have known there was more to this than your libidos."
Braska's brow tightened. "I can't!" He dodged as she catapulted forward.
"You think I didn't notice?" Her foot hit the pillar where he'd stood moments before, sending chunks of rock flying. Flipping backwards on her hands, she returned to her rocking stance. "You haven't called on her once, not even the last time we fought Sin," she said lowly. "You need to get over it if you want to beat Belgemine."
"No!" he shouted, trying to dodge her next strike. Rikku was too quick; she caught him with a low punch to the stomach that doubled him over. All training with Auron aside, Braska still didn't have anything close to his Guardians' abilities; he was almost completely winded from her lone hit – which she hadn't pulled.
"You will, or your Pilgrimage ends here!" She knocked his feet out from under him with a sweeping kick.
"Stop!" he wheezed. "I order you to stop! Auron! Jecht!" He scrabbled away in a clumsy backwards crawl.
She heard the sound of a scuffle behind her; glancing over her shoulder, she saw Jecht struggling against Auron.
"Look, whatever stunt she's tryin' to pull, it's too much – "
"She's asking us to trust her," Auron grunted, pushing the other man back.
"You're thinkin' with the wrong head right now, man! That ain't Blondie out there, that's Braska!"
That gave Auron enough pause for Jecht to leap past him. The blitzer tried to tackle her, but Rikku sent him reeling back towards Auron with a well-placed punch.
"That's for calling me Braska," she snarled, cracking her knuckles. "Auron, take him down! Don't let his heroics get in my way."
Even as she said it, part of her cringed. Yeah, maybe I am a little too much Braska right now. Sorry, Jecht.
Despite his moment of doubt, Auron seemed to get it and lunged forward, doing his best to hold Jecht back so her own fight could continue.
Speaking of which… She turned back towards Braska with a mocking leer; he'd wasted her moment of inattention, still rapidly casting healing and defensive spells rather than actually trying to stop her. She smirked. Sorry, but you made me stronger than yourself. You can't do anything to stop me now. Lashing out with a powerful kick, she broke through his protective barrier and clipped him with a clawed toe, drawing a thin line of blood across his cheek.
He gasped in pain, staring at her with wild eyes.
"Do it!" she demanded. She leapt into the air and wrenched her arm back.
"You died!" he screamed, falling backwards against the ground.
"Stop running!" she howled, and something in Braska's face crumpled as he shut his eyes, the brief green flare of a summoning surrounding him. Her fist landed perilously close to his ear, blowing a crater into the rocky soil even as the air turned noxious, dark smoke billowing around them.
The chain that slammed into the ground by her side rocked them both but Rikku didn't move. Braska had fallen into Rapture, his mouth twisted into a rictus of pain. She, too, was frozen; as brazen as the Berserker dressphere made her, this was a fear both she and Braska shared.
Anima - the source of both the Berserker's greatest strength and greatest vulnerability. She held herself stock-still over Braska, still unable to raise her head despite the aeon's arrival.
Look up. Do it. You have to get over this, too.
Steeling herself, she deactivated her dressphere, yet the fear remained. It's not just Braska alone who has to face this challenge, she thought, squeezing her eyes tightly shut once before forcing them open. No more running for either of us. Standing upright, she raised her head.
Anima towered over her, swaying in a non-existent breeze. Her single eye rolled down towards Rikku, and she swore she saw the aeon grin. Then, with a discordant cry, Anima tossed her head to the side and sent an energy blast flying out over the mountainside. The sound of the crumbling rocks boomed over the plains, followed by the low rumble of a rockslide.
Still a bitch, Rikku thought faintly as her knees wobbled. Despite her best attempt at bravado, the reminder of what had happened the last time Anima blinked overcame what little strength she had left in her legs.
Burning. As she crumpled, she couldn't see anything; all she could do was feel the white hot lances of pain racing down her spine, trapping her in the past. Anima had set her on fire, smashed her to pieces, blinded her, literally. It wasn't just the pain of dying that froze her in place; it was the horror of coming back. And the chilling realization that it could happen again. A small moan of terror escaped her lips.
No. No more. Anything but this!
To her surprise, she didn't hit the ground; a pair of arms caught her first.
"You didn't need to go that far." Auron nearly crushed her in his grip, his fingers digging in hard enough to make her wince. He paid no mind to the terrifying aeon towering overhead; instead, his eyes sought hers out, terror shining clear as day in his expression. "This is how you knew. That theory about returning to your own time – you tested it. You died?"
In a way, his shock helped ground her; she focused on his face, reaching up to cup it in her hands. "Not on purpose..."
"You died!"
"I got better–" she began, to which she clearly heard Jecht snort. Auron's inarticulate cry silenced any forthcoming witty commentary. He pressed her to himself, trembling for a moment, before grinding out in a shaking voice:
"Not now."
This time, she kept silent; she'd promised to not break his heart again and this was a small – but important – part of doing so.
He hugged her as if she'd fly away if he let go. She waited until his rough breath evened despite the pulse of his wildly hammering heart thudding through her. She wasn't doing much better; the thought of raising her head and seeing the aeon towering above Auron sent her burrowing deeper into the safety of his arms.
My shield… You've always been my shield, from the first moment we met. She breathed in his rich, earthy musk, letting it soothe her jangled nerves. After that indeterminate moment, he pulled away and rested his head against hers, fingers trembling. "I thought you were exaggerating."
"I'm sorry. Braska did bring me back, though." Looking over Auron's shoulder, she watched Anima sway, observing them with her red-streaked eye, bloody tear tracks trailing down her ruined face at the sight of their embrace.
Was this aeon, the one created by a gross perversion of the notion of ultimate love, watching them with malice? Or regret?
Another thick, bloody tear rolled down Anima's grotesque cheek, and Rikku shuddered, unable to keep watching.
"We should check on him," she murmured.
Reluctantly, Auron released her from his death grip, though he kept her close even as he let her go.
"Braska brought you back," Auron said slowly.
She glanced to the ground, where Braska still lay prone, his face unnaturally placid as both his mind and body powered the aeon. She wondered just how angry he was going to be when his Rapture ended. "Well, I might have just made him mad enough to Send me out again, though."
Auron huffed out a weak laugh, enveloping her in another crushing hug. "Sending doesn't work on you, remember?" His head bowed. "But Braska saved you then. He saved you." His voice was thick with conflicting emotions.
Rikku reached up and stroked Auron's cheek. "I'm right here," she said softly.
Weary amusement flashed through his eyes. "So you are." His expression closed as he looked down at Braska. "And so I owe that man yet another debt." It wasn't anything new; Auron had said as much to her before. This time, however, his voice wasn't laced with mere gratitude, but a hint of… resentment?
She swallowed, both cheered and worried to see Auron struggling with his self-imposed mantle of being Braska's vassal; how else could they ever really be friends if not as equals?
Still, she thought with a shiver as Anima cast her shadow over them, the timing's a little off.
"Uhh, guys?" Jecht stumbled towards them, staring wide-eyed at the huge aeon. They matched, considering that one of Jecht's eyes was beginning to swell shut from her earlier punch. "Can we wake Braska up? Like, right now? This kisser hurts like a bitch, and that thing is just sittin' there creepin' me out with its bloody eyeball."
"Try getting blasted by it," Rikku mumbled, nudging Braska's prone body with her toe. "Braska almost died, too. Even with his protective spells, that scar on his back…"
Auron finally looked up to watch Anima, which listed to the side before fading into a massive cloud of pyreflies. "I don't want to imagine what you two went through."
"I didn't want to relive it either," she admitted lowly.
"Well, no wonder, if that's the thing that gotcha," Jecht said carelessly, missing her sudden, frantic headshake.
Auron, sharp as ever, didn't; his voice turned as cold as a frosted blade. "You knew."
Sensing the danger, Jecht shamelessly turned it back on her: "Hey man, she told me to zip my lips. It's a tough call, figurin' out which o' the two o' you is more scary."
"I'll remind you later," Auron promised. Jecht shuddered.
"Hey, lay off him, I really did tell him to keep his mouth shut," she said, feeling slightly responsible. "Besides, I survived this. We survived this."
Don't run. Without Anima's looming presence, her confidence started to return. "We survived," she said firmly, in part to convince herself. "We made it out of Baaj. Maybe not in one piece, but we did it, just the two of us. We can make it to Yojimbo, too." She noticed Braska stirring. "Now that he's not afraid of using Anima anymore, that is." I hope.
"I dunno if tryin' to beat an aeon outta your summoner counts as gettin' over your fears," Jecht said dubiously.
"All of you kept secrets from me," Auron repeated, tone trapped somewhere between hurt and anger.
Well, it's gonna hurt for sure when the anger starts to win. She looked for some way to salvage the situation and reestablish his trust in their team.
"Look who's talkin'," Jecht said. "Secrets about death ain't so fun, are they?" he asked, and abruptly the conversation was over.
Braska sat up slowly, groaning in pain. He grunted, chanting another healing spell over himself, before raising his head to regard them, posture tired and defeated. He seemed to contemplate which of their stares to confront first, and ultimately faced Rikku.
Damn it!
"I thought you didn't want me to tell him."
Some of the knots in her stomach released at the weary tone of his voice; he wasn't angry at her at least, she could tell that much. "Some skeletons are better outside of the closet. But… for what it's worth, I'm sorry I had to force you to do it to yourself like that." The words hung cheaply in the air, bringing a flush of shame to her cheeks.
I'm sorry for showing your greatest fears and desires to everyone like it was a game. And I'm sorry for using you to face my own fears, she wanted to say – but not like this, not with a crowd of spectators observing their every movement, turning his most private pain into some sort of public sphere opera. "Sorry," she repeated in Al Bhed, the words a near-whisper. "I really am so sorry."
"Would that regret cease to define us," he answered in the same tongue. Then he looked away from Rikku and faced Auron instead, his expression wry. "Well. At least you managed to catch her when she fell."
A moment of thick tension passed between them, snapping only when Jecht hauled Braska to his feet.
"Holdin' out on us, were ya, man?" Slapping the summoner a few times on the back, Jecht dragged him away. "Gotta admit, that was a pretty bad-ass aeon you got there. I'm gonna need a lot more therapy before I can catch some sleep tonight."
"Jecht, what – "
"You can help me proofread," Jecht added, scooping up his pink notebook and slapping it into Braska's hands, then pushing him towards the fire.
Dazed and looking winded and bewildered, Braska sat, clutching the fuzzy notebook to his chest.
Nodding to himself, Jecht turned around to face them and crossed his arms. "Blondie?"
Wincing, Rikku met his good eye. Unsurprisingly, Jecht was mad. "So about that punch…" she started.
"Shit. Don't do that! And I don't mean the damn punch!" he roared when she opened her mouth to protest. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, working his jaw. "I get it. You wanted to help both of your dudes out there, you made a risky play, and it worked. But next time? Little less force and a lot more finesse, alright?"
"Are you lecturing me?"
Jecht glowered, expression darkening. "What'd ya think, Blondie?"
Under the other man's scrutiny, she felt about as big as her toenail. It's pretty bad when Jecht has the moral high ground. "Sorry."
"Are you?"
She looked up at the question; Jecht had fired it off at her light-heartedly, but the look in his eye was sharp. It wasn't just his bruised face that he was mad about.
"Y'know I'll always be in your corner, Blondie, but sometimes ya make it damn hard to stay there." He pointed a meaty finger at her. "You an' Auron are bad enough when ya team up. You an' Braska? It'll be the end of this whole damn world. You in that costume is walkin' proof that B ain't got no self-control!"
Auron twitched beside her, but said nothing. His hand did snake out and tighten possessively around her waist, though, to which Jecht raised a knowing eyebrow.
Swallowing, Rikku met Jecht's piercing stare and gave him a slow nod. "I'll be careful when I use it. If I use it. Promise. Gullwing's honor!"
"Huh." Jecht's jaw twitched; it almost felt like he was sizing her up as though she were a Blitzball opponent. Despite his usual antics, he hadn't been granted the title of a champion for nothing – he could be dead serious when he wanted to, and right now he was making no bones about reminding her of that.
A flash of pride shot through her; much like Tidus, Jecht had also grown to become an integral part of his summoner's Pilgrimage. And the closer Zanarkand loomed, the more they were beginning to fall apart. She wondered if it was in Jecht's nature to step in, as any good captain would, doing his best to rein in the team and hold them together.
The analogy didn't make his tough gaze any easier to weather.
Eventually, he looked away and sighed. "Fine. I'll believe ya this time, but don't scare the shit outta me like that ever again." He grumbled and shifted uncomfortably. "Didn't need that pair of underwear anyway."
Latching onto the mumble, her brows furrowed. "Wait, I've packed your bag before. You don't own more than one pair of underwear! That was rhetorical, right?"
"That's for me to know and you to worry 'bout findin' out." With a final nod at Auron, Jecht waved them off. "Don't stay out too late, kids," he called, turning away from them.
"Oh, gross," Rikku muttered, watching him join Braska on the other side of the camp. Goes straight from deep and intense to that. "Please say we don't have to worry about Jecht going commando!"
"Stop killing the mood," Auron said testily.
"Mood?"
"Something you obviously can't read," he added meaningfully, drawing her closer to him. "I want you to come with me. You nearly died and I – " He stopped. Sighed. Shifted. "This, I understand."
She looked up at Auron, who was still boring holes in her with his stare. "Hey, okay, relax. I'm not gonna disappear on you now, you know? What's the rush?"
"You're prone to lying," he deadpanned, pulling her to her feet. "Now come with me. Right away."
"Where?" she asked, struggling to match his pace as he tugged her away from their camp.
"I meant that literally," he replied, still pulling her along at a hurried pace. "I want you. Now."
She blinked. She'd only just started to realize that perhaps she and Auron had a borderline-unhealthy habit of tuning out the kinks in their relationship with really great, toe-curling sex, but did he actually mean right now?
"... not that I want to slow you down or anything there, but I thought you said it's not safe out here?"
Auron whirled to face her, the heat – and tempered, but still there, desperation – obvious in his gaze. "Well, then put your Berserker outfit back on." Turning on his heel, he stomped deeper into the night, undoing his belt as he moved.
Is it really that easy? Can we go back to normal just like that, with one death scare and a roll in the grass? She watched him move away from her, fitting another piece of the puzzle that was Auron into place. He's strong because he doesn't know how to be anything else. He protects others because he doesn't know how to protect himself. And he really doesn't know how to handle it when I act just like him.
She sighed.
Why are all the men in my life so complicated?
Auron turned. "Are you coming?" There was a note of impatience in his voice, but underneath it… vulnerability. A need for her immediate presence that was, perhaps, a little childish, and not purely physical.
I get it. I don't know if it's right, or even good, but I need that too. A small grin spread across her face. "Of course. One confirmation of life coming right up!" she replied, scampering after him.
/ I apologize for the delay. Excuses are almost as cheap as lengthy author notes, so I'll spare readers any more details than "extended, ongoing family drama." Thank you for sticking with the story up till now, and I appreciate each and every review that spurred me on to come back to writing. It meant a lot to me to read those.
I wrote out the fight scene by watching way too many YouTube tutorials. A ginga is the basic fighting stance of Capoeira. It involves rocking back and forth on alternating legs in a triangular form while protecting your body with your arms, and looks a lot like a dance move.
Also, since BOTH betas asked me this multiple times, "Why does she say 'Yevon' ?" Because she's wearing Braska's sphere.