65: Servants of the Mountain
Cold and lonely; it was the best way to describe Mount Gagazet. Even in her time, without the constant snow, the mountain had been a place sphere hunters shunned. The Fayth Scar kept most people away even without the threat of Kimahri and the remaining Ronso guarding the mountain's sacred ground. And what the Scar and the Ronso couldn't do, the mountain's steep climbs accomplished all on its own.
Rikku was reminded of that painfully as the wind bit into her skin. Her goggles were lowered, helping her see, but her braids were crusted with ice, and she was fairly sure her lips were turning blue. The cold was bad, but it was nothing compared to the gusting wind. Everyone's pace had slowed down to a crawl, and even Auron in all of his gear looked miserable.
The graves of the Summoners who had tried and failed to ascend the mountain weren't exactly encouraging, either. Marks of their passage lay strewn across the path, if what they were traveling could even be called that - swords, discarded and dulled by time and the elements. Staves and rods, broken and splintered against the dark mountain stone. The lucky ones had stones with names inscribed into them. And the unlucky ones were the occasional snow-covered lumps that looked suspiciously like they'd been frozen while trying in vain to take shelter from the elements.
Through it all, Braska kept his head down and marched forward, Jecht helping him along the steeper parts of the icy climb. Rikku knew she was supposed to be scouting, but it was so hard to run against the unforgiving wind. The fiends they ran into were just as bitter and unrelenting as the mountain itself; echoes of the creatures they'd fought before, but hardened by their isolation.
So many failed Pilgrimages. So many unfulfilled desires, gathered in one place. They're all so angry. And alone.
There was motion in the snow; her thoughts were a jumbled mess as she activated her sphere grid, feeling the change overtaking her. The anger that fueled her thoughts warmed her body and cut through the numb confusion, even though a part of her knew it was only temporary. Still, she was strong enough as a Berserker to charge forward through the deep drifts of snow. Her claws came down, cleaving the Bandersnatch that had tried to ambush them in twain. She cartwheeled backwards, holding her claws up in triumph, only to duck and screech when Auron surged past her, sword out.
"Look out!"
He slashed wildly at the Ahriman swooping down upon her from overhead; the winged fiend with the enormous eyeball cackled and flapped out of his sword's reach.
"Hnn." Auron grinned grimly as he landed. A flash of silver chasing his jump overhead. The Ahriman's mad laugh was cut short as Jecht's sword bisected it, swivelling in the air before returning to the other man's outstretched hand.
Deactivating her sphere grid, Rikku shivered, then shook some snow out of her hair. "I'll never get used to that," she said, rooting through the snow where the pyreflies were fading to see if the monsters had dropped anything useful. "It's a sword, not a blitzball."
"I ain't complainin' if it hits 'em," Jecht said, whirling the Talon around expertly before sheathing it.
Auron straightened, also sheathing his sword. "What were you doing? You left yourself wide open there," he chastised her.
Rikku pulled her hood up. "I didn't see the flier, okay? Sorry," she muttered, feeling ashamed at her lapse.
Braska joined them, his eyebrows nearly white from the snow collecting on his face. "We are all exhausted from this relentless climb. Perhaps we should rest and gather our strength before we venture forward. It only gets more dangerous when we try to push ahead in this state."
"If we stop out here, we die," Auron countered, looking pointedly at yet another nearby summoner's grave that they were passing.
Rikku scratched her cheek. "There… there may be a place nearby where we can rest comfortably. It's gonna be hard to reach it, though," she mumbled.
The three turned to her, and she glanced at Jecht and winced.
I can't take him past the Fayth Scar. It's not a scar yet!
They were going to have to take the hard way in. Damn it, why hadn't she ever been good with directions? She held her head, trying to align her memory of Gagazet with the current snow-covered peaks. "Look… I've been here before, but everything's different. I'm not sure if we could even reach it. It might just be a big waste of our time…"
"We're gonna end up like the other summoners here if we don't risk it," Jecht said "'Sides! I ain't gonna let no stinkin' mountain beat me. I still got plans!" He grinned at her. "So tell us yours."
"Weeeell… see, we have to go this way," Rikku said, and she pointed up. Straight up.
All three balked.
"Are you sure it isn't on the path?" Braska asked, shading his face against the falling snow as he traced the path up the mountainside that she pointed at with his eyes.
Rikku shook her head. "No can do." To be honest, there was a way from the path, but it was too soon to face the Scar. She knew the mountain was pockmarked with tiny holes and paths that led deep into the interior. They could find a way in. Probably.
"We can go a little further, but then we have to leave the path and start climbing. If it was easy to get to, everyone would use it," she said, taking the lead. They had already managed to get pretty high on the mountain; grateful for that, Rikku began comparing the snow-covered landscape to the sun-soaked rocky ruins she'd scrambled over as a sphere hunter. Even then, the climb had been daunting. But back then, the only thing at stake was LeBlanc's syndicate uniforms. Now, this was about Braska's life.
The thought filled her with determination, and she scanned the cliff face dutifully for any sign of one of the hidden entrances to Gagazet's depths. Every now and then, she felt the stirrings of familiarity, but so much of it was frozen and dark, unlike her sunlit memories. Finally, she stopped, staring at a set of stacked rocky outcroppings that were just too familiar to be ignored.
"Here," she said. "We have to start climbing here."
"Impossible," Auron said, staring at the iced-over rock. "No human can climb that." He wasn't wrong, but Braska pushed him back.
"Then what we need isn't human," Braska said, kneeling before the wall of ice.
There was a low rumble, and the ground shook as Ifrit landed behind him, flames flickering in the strong wind. The aeon stood and roared, then stomped towards the mountain, drawing a flaming fist back. He began punching, repeatedly, flames chasing each strike of his massive fists. The snow melted rapidly under the aeon assault, revealing the bare stone below.
Ifrit leapt upwards, landing on the platform he'd just cleared, and gave the next outcropping the same rough treatment.
"That's one way to do it," Jecht said, watching Ifrit work.
"We have to move quickly, or this will ice over again before the aeon is finished." Auron had already doffed his pack and was handing it over to Jecht to carry. "Rikku, Jecht. We need to lift Braska."
Springing into motion, they helped Auron hoist Braska up onto his back, trying not to jostle the summoner as they secured the two men together.
"Are you sure you can carry him up?" Rikku asked doubtfully. "I could just put on my Berserker-"
"No," Auron grunted, shifting Braska's dead weight. "We climb."
"Ohh-kay," Rikku hummed, flinching away from Auron's determined, flinty glare. "Got it. Just be careful!"
"I'll pull up the rear," Jecht reassured her. "Don't worry, Blondie, I won't let anythin' happen to either o' them. 'Sides, you gotta take the lead. Ain't like Braska knows where he's goin'."
As in agreement, Ifrit was looking down from the next rocky outcrop at her, waiting for instructions.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Rikku groaned, taking a running start and hauling herself up the mountain. The winds blasted at her as she climbed, and several times she stopped to look down and check on Auron with her heart in her throat. He was stubbornly clinging to the mountain like a squat beetle, Braska still tied to his back.
It was slow going, with her stopping frequently to point out the next area Ifrit had to defrost while trying to press herself against the stone and keep from being blown away. Eventually, however, they reached an iced-over crevice that looked very familiar.
"H-h-here," Rikku shivered, her teeth chattering. Obligingly, Ifrit reached a hand into the crevice and began to melt the ice that sealed it shut. When the hole was big enough for a human to squeeze through, Rikku waved her hands and gave Ifrit a thumbs up.
Ifrit snorted, and then leapt clean off the cliff face, dissolving in mid-air as Braska coughed back to life, pale-faced and tired.
"In here! Quick, you guys!" Rikku said, pointing at the opening and waiting as the men scrambled in, Auron still unceremoniously hauling a fully-conscious Braska along with him. She slid in last after them, the rough rock cutting into her skin as they hit the cold cavern floor inside, surrounded by darkness.
"Whew! At least it's a little warmer here," she said, sitting up and running sightless hands over her waist, feeling for her garment grid.
There were a few curses as Auron and Braska untangled themselves, and a few more as Jecht ran into a low shelf of stone while trying to stand up, before Rikku managed to push back the encroaching darkness with a brightly-lit sphere.
"Where are we?" Auron asked, straightening as he squinted at their utterly black surroundings. The small circle of light provided by her lantern did little to illuminate the depths of the cave, sealed off from the outside world by the storm raging outside.
"The heart of Gagazet," Braska said as he dusted his robes off. "I've heard of this. The Ronso manage to live on Gagazet by finding such cave pockets in the face of the mountain, and making their communities within them. Protected from the elements, hidden from the rest of the world…a perfect retreat to survive in this harsh environment. Bevelle has never had the privilege of gaining access to the Ronso's tribal communities, however. They are still a closely guarded secret."
Auron inhaled deeply. "This isn't one of them," he concluded. "There's no scent of Ronso in the air." Then he made a face. "Though Jecht is pungent enough for an entire tribe."
"'Ey! You climb a mountain without sweatin'!" Jecht complained. "You ain't smellin' like roses now either, Red!"
Rikku took a few cautious steps out into the darkness, holding her makeshift lantern high. She stopped short when she saw a dark chasm looming. "Watch your step here," she warned them. She waited until they were all nearby, then held the sphere over the chasm.
"Whoa! Don't drop it!" Jecht warned, eyes bulging.
"Na," Rikku said, squinting and inhaling deeply. The faint scent of sulphur wafted up from the depths, and she heard the gentle lapping of water. "It'll be fine." With that, she released the sphere, eliciting gasps of surprise from the men.
They watched the light travel as the sphere dropped, illuminating the sides of the cavern. And then it dampened briefly as it hit water, before slowly floating back to the surface, bobbing in the hot springs below.
"See?" she said, her grin widening as she lit another sphere. "I told you so."
Jecht was already standing up and preparing to dive. "Can we just jump down?" he said eagerly, his eyes sparkling in the faint light.
"No!" Rikku screeched, pulling him away from the edge. "It's not that deep, stupid! Besides, you'll crush my sphere!" Pulling out multiple spheres from her belt, she activated them all, giving one to each of her companions so they'd have light. "Just climb down the hard way, geez! It'll be worth it, I promise."
Grumbling, Jecht scrambled down the rocks to the pool below, managing easily with his monkey-like agility. Auron went much more slowly and cautiously, helping Braska with his voluminous robes on the way down. Rikku followed them down last, letting out a sigh of relief as they reached the bottom of the cavern and setting her pack down, before wading straight into the warm water to retrieve her floating sphere. Even with the multiple spheres lit and running, the cavern was still overwhelmingly shadowed in darkness; she couldn't even see to the other end of the pool, and she mostly knew the others were still behind her by the sounds they were making.
"Set your spheres up on the rocks. It will at least keep us from running into the walls," Auron instructed the others, carefully mounting his sphere into a secure nook. They got to work, and soon, had created at least enough light to see dark reflections bouncing off of the steaming water.
"How in Yevon's name did you find this place?" Braska asked as he kicked off his shoes. "No one would ever think to look."
"Well, it's a lot sunnier in my time," Rikku said, shrugging. "Less snow and more light, so it's not really all that bad, though you still have to be lucky to even find it at all. We only managed it by accident."
Braska smiled and nodded, satisfied with her explanation, but she noticed Auron watching them.
"Sunnier," Auron said slowly. "The storm clouds surrounding Gagazet are perpetual. How is that possible?"
"Auron," Braska interrupted. "Is it so hard to believe that Spira could change, just as we have?"
"You guys are overthinkin' this," Jecht complained, already stripped down to his swimming trunks and wading into the water. "It's a hot spring! Get in here an' enjoy it already! This water is somethin' else," he groaned, flipping over onto his back and letting the waves carry him away into the darkness.
"Good advice," Braska said, wriggling out of his heavy robes and following Jecht into the water, clad only in his shorts. It was hard to see where they disappeared to in the darkness, but she could hear the soft splash of water and their voices, Braska's low and Jecht's loud, as they swam away from them.
"They did that on purpose you know," Rikku said, kicking off her shoes and kneeling next to Auron. "They wanted to give us some time alone together. You've been… different since we came to Gagazet." She reached for his cloak that he wore around himself like a turtle's shell and gently drew it off his shoulders. "Don't do this. Talk to me."
Auron dropped his head, unable to meet her questioning look even in the dim light. "Every step brings us closer. Closer to Zanarkand, and the end. But I haven't thought of a solution yet. Every day carries us to a future that we can't reverse." His shoulders shuddered under her palms.
"We can't stop now," she said, carefully working on the buckles of his armor and freeing him from the heavy chestplate. "You know we can't find the answers anywhere else…"
"... but in Zanarkand," Auron agreed, finally lifting his head to watch her while she pulled off his boots. "I don't know if I can do this, Rikku."
She froze for a moment, before carefully placing the shoe in her hand next to its mate. Then she scrambled up next to him, her hand reaching out. His fingers interlaced with hers; they were cold despite the heat from the spring.
"We can do it if we're together," she said. "But let it all go for now. Enjoy the hot springs with us. Because…" Her fingers squeezed tighter around his and her throat closed. "B-because… this might be the last time. The last time we can smile together and pretend like none of it matters."
He drew her in close. The kiss he gave her was searing, edged with desperation. She let it swallow her, wrapping her arms around his neck and encouraging him, throwing her body against his. They broke apart only when breathing became an issue, gasping into the darkness.
"I want it to matter," Auron whispered, his voice full of anguish. "Everything. The Pilgrimage. The suffering all of Spira has endured. The countless summoners who have come before us. I can't pretend that everything will be fine just because you're here," he said, buying his forehead into her neck, still shaking. "I can't cling onto you and let go of everything else. But I want to."
Rikku gripped him just as tightly, as if he were her anchor. We're too similar, you and I. "I know," she managed to choke out. "We all know. Every one of us knows, Auron."
"Then you're all better actors than I." Auron's hands traveled to her side, drawing her in. "Sometimes I hate what you have done to me," he whispered, his hands telling a different story than his lips. "I was a better Guardian before you taught me how to lie to myself. You… you and Braska both… you are my suffering."
Rikku allowed him to lose himself in his search for comfort, staring up into the darkness with a bitter smile while his fingers and lips roved over her body, each touch burning the guilt into her skin like brands. I eat dreams, she thought, before releasing the thought with a flutter, succumbing to his ministrations.
Some time later, Auron left her side, draping a blanket over her before wordlessly entering the pool. She lay against the cold stone floor, feeling it press uncomfortably into her back. The passion of the moment had died away, leaving behind only the uncomfortable bruises of reality. She felt hollow, rather than satiated. The sound of water rippling as someone came out of the pool made her rise to her elbows. She sank back down when she saw it wasn't Auron, her eyes refocusing on the darkness.
"I never wanted this," Braska murmured, coming to a stop by her, and she knew - she knew - he must have been watching them.
She grit her teeth, and he hung his head, but even that emotion faded too quickly. The weight of the journey was just too heavy for her indignation. Droplets of warm water splashed against the top of her feet, cooling all too quickly.
"I never meant for either of you to become like me."
Rikku continued to stare at nothing. "Don't you dare say you're sorry. Not now," she warned him. "I won't be able to make it any further if you say you're sorry, too. We've gone too far for regrets."
She felt Braska's eyes on her, then looked down at him when she heard him shift. He was bowing to her, Yevon-style.
"Then thank you, instead." He met her questioning look. "Everything we ever lose always returns to us in another form. I'm sure it will be as true for you as it has been for me." He moved away, fading into the darkness.
Rikku turned away and threw her arm over her face, breathing out slowly. "I can't stop here either." Rousing herself, she pulled on enough clothing to be decent. Then she stood and made her way to the edge of the springs, wading into the water. It was warm, like a gentle embrace. She opened her arms and accepted it, diving under and letting the dark water envelop her and soothe the aches and bruises on her skin.
I don't know what to do, she thought as she drifted through the darkness. But I've never given up. Not back then, and I'm not gonna start now. Not ever. She broke the surface, taking a deep breath. "I'll find us a happy ending," she mumbled, slicking her hair out of her face. Belgemine was wrong, she had to be. If I can't see a path to a good end, I'll make a new one. And I won't step on Auron's dreams to find it.
A/N: This chapter was brought to you by all those wonderful people on YouTube who loop and remix FFX / FFX-2 music tracks. My most vital resource for writing this fic, seriously. Thank you guys.