15

Carlisle was seated behind his desk when Edward rushed into the room just as the late bell rang. He glared at him, which only made him wish he would spank him even more, but seeing as their classroom was filled with children who were staring at him, he kept a straight face and muttered, "Sorry, Coach," before hurrying into the back corner and taking his seat between Emmett and Jasper. Normally, the two would enjoy watching him get in trouble, but now, they just stared at him with pity. Which is not want Edward wanted, nor needed.

"Everyone open your text books to page twenty-six."

As Carlisle stood and began his lecture on the Spanish American War, Edward tried desperately to ignore the whispers around him. Yes, his father was an abusive alcoholic, and yes, his mother took every beating. And yes, Chief Swan had gone after her because Edward was 'dating' his daughter, but if they knew the truth about him and Bella, their relationship, and who they really loved . . . Well, these whispers were better than what they would say if they knew they were gay.

"Test on Thursday, Ladies and Gentlemen. Study."

Carlisle dropped his dry-erase marker onto his desk as the bell rang. As everyone scrambled to their feet and hurried out, Emmett and Jasper included, Edward took his time to place his book back into backpack. Once he and Carlisle were alone, he stood and walked over to his desk, aware that the door to his classroom was still open.

"Is she okay?"

Edward shook his head. "He took his anger out on her, and she let him. I could hear her crying all day, asking him to stop. He only stopped long enough to chug another beer, and then he was raging against her, blaming her for him missing work. Mind you, this isn't the first time he's been sent home drunk. It's probably the tenth."

"I'm sorry you have to deal with that."

"Thanks," he murmured, shoving his freehand into his pocket. "And I'm sorry for being late. We . . . Jacob Black wanted to talk to Bella, and I couldn't leave her alone with him."

Carlisle nodded, his eyes flickering to the hallway. "Did he hurt her?"

"No, but he seems to have gotten tired his Charlie Swan's games, too. Told her to tell her father to stop."

He scoffed. "Because she hasn't been doing that."

"I know, I—"

But he was cut off when Alice, James, Victoria, Eric, and Tanya hurried into the classroom.

"Don't be late again, Masen, or else it will be dentition."

"Yes, sir."

Edward ignored their snickering before he hurried out of the room and down to his next class. He should have just stayed home, he thought.

—S&S—

By the time lunch rolled around, Edward's head was throbbing. Seeing as Bella had snuck off to call Esme and he couldn't go to the cafeteria alone, he slipped into the woods to a small clearing and settled on top of a small, stone table. During the hard times, when his father was ragging on him about not being good enough, about how he was a failure, he'd run away and somehow, always ended up sitting on top of that table.

"Thought I might find you here."

Edward smiled when he spotted Bella slipping from behind the trees. "Thought you were calling Esme?"

"I tried, but she didn't answer."

"I'm sure she's fine."

Bella nodded and sat next to him. "I did talk to Sam, though. Said my father should be arraigned this afternoon."

"Did you decide if you're pressing charges?"

She sighed. "I am. I don't want to. I mean he's my father, Edward, but he . . . he's dangerous, and . . . I know I've apologized like a thousand times already, but I am so sorry he went after your mother."

"Thanks, but it's not your fault."

"Isn't it? I was the one who came up with this plan."

"I agreed to it. We all agreed to it, Swan. And it's still the best option we have, isn't it?"

"I guess so."

"Carlisle and I used to sneak out here at lunch," Edward said with a smile. "In the early days of our relationship."

"How long have you two been together?"

"Oh, um, like seven months, or so."

"How . . . Can I ask you how you two got together? I mean, he is our teacher. Didn't you think that was, kind of, weird?"

Edward frowned.

"Please don't misunderstand me. I think you two are . . . beautiful together."

"Beautiful?" he laughed.

"Yes! I've never . . . I've never seen two men having sex, Edward. I've never seen a man and a woman have sex either. Just don't like penises, I guess, but watching you two, there's a beauty to the way you are with each other. So, tell me how you got together."

Edward sighed. "I was a freshman when I realized that I'm gay, Swan. I always knew, I guess, but that's when I admitted the truth to myself, and I was terrified, because you know how these assholes are."

She nodded.

"Anyway, I never told anyone, but it was eating me up inside because I was alone. I have friends, I guess, but nobody who knew about me. All the talk about is getting pussy, and how I just needed to get laid. Fuck, Swan, Emmett must have told me a million time to take Jessica out just so I could stick my dick in her."

"Eww."

Edward laughed. "Tell me about it, Swan. Even if I was interested in sleeping with a girl, she isn't that girl."

"You could do better than her, anyway. This stays between us, because it could get Esme into trouble, but she told me Jess came in last month with fucking crabs, Masen. Crabs! Probably got them from Newton."

Edward gagged.

"I know, right?" Bella exclaimed. "So, you and Coach, how'd that come about?"

"Last spring, during baseball season, I was . . . I was struggling to hit. I'd hurt my hip stealing second base, and it was affecting my stance. Anyway, after practice one day, Carlisle offered to help me out, so I agreed. He, um . . ." Edward smiled, his cheeks turning red. "He told me to stand like I was getting ready to hit, so I did, and then he . . . he came up behind me and placed his hands on my hips, adjusting my stance. The pain went away immediately and . . . and then he pressed himself against me, Swan, and I could feel him. Like . . . like all of him. I looked over my shoulder at him, and I could smell him, and damn, girl, he smells good. Like so fucking good," he moaned.

Bella laughed.

"Shut up!"

"You're just so cute when you talk about him, Masen."

"Yeah, whatever. Carlisle seemed to come to his senses, though, because he immediately pulled his hands off my hips and practically jumped away from me. He stared at me for a minute before he left. Just left me standing there alone. It . . . It bothered me, but I didn't think too much about it. Until that night, when I was in bed."

"You what? You jerked off to him?"

Edward nodded, his cheeks warming again. "I mean, he's hot as fuck, Swan."

"He is handsome. When he first moved here, I know a lot of girls had crushes. Not me, of course."

"Of course." He laughed. "Anyway, so, yes, I developed a crush. I never thought it would . . . I never thought it would go anywhere, though. But then we went to state in baseball, and, um, the night we won, the guys were all being stupid and loud and I . . . I was mad, so I had snuck out of the hotel and walked down to this park just up the street from the hotel."

"Why were you mad? You'd just won the state in baseball. If I remember correctly, you hit two homeruns and pitched an almost perfect game."

He shrugged. "She's promised she would come, and she didn't."

"Your mom?"

Edward nodded. "Apparently, she was about to leave when he flew into rage about her wasting his money for her pathetic, piece of shit son."

"Son of a bitch," Bella muttered.

"Yes, he is." Edward took a deep breath. "Anyway, I'd gone down to this park and I was sitting on the swings, just pissed that my dad ruined the one thing I cared about. And, um, then he was there."

"Carlisle?"

"Yeah, he had followed me, I guess. I was sure I was going to get into trouble, because we weren't supposed to leave to hotel, but he sat on the swing next to mine and we just talked about the game. He said . . . he said he was proud of me, Swan. He said he was proud of me and, I don't know, the way he said it made me . . . I wanted him. God, I wanted him so fucking bad." Edward stood. "It was getting late, so he said we needed to go back before someone noticed we were gone, and I . . . I didn't want to leave him, but I knew he was right. As we started across the park, he . . . he reached out and took hold of my hand. I stopped and looked from our hands up to his face and he was just . . . he was just staring at me. I . . . I don't know, Swan, but I leaned over and kissed him. He just kind of stood there, and I felt like a fucking idiot, tried to tear my hand out of his and walk away, but he wouldn't let me go. He . . . he pulled me back against him, his other arm wrapping around my body until we were flush against each other, and . . . he said he couldn't stop thinking about me, but he needed know that if he pursued me, that I was sure he was who I wanted. And I did, Swan. I did, so I told him as much, and then he kissed me. God, my toes curled and my cock —"

"I don't need to hear about your hard-on, Masen."

Edward laughed. "Sorry. We didn't do anything that night other than kiss, but exchanged numbers and he . . . he's just always there when I need him, when I find myself struggling to just . . . be me. The weekend of July fourth, he asked if I would go camping with him. Said he wanted to be alone with me, just us, just me and him, so I said yes. He took me up close to Snider Peak, and we spent like three days just . . . just being together."

"And you had sex."

"No, actually. Our first time actually having sex was the day you caught us in the locker room," he confessed.

"Are you serious?"

He nodded. "I was a virgin, Swan, and he wanted to take things slow, make sure I was ready for him. I mean, I gave him a lot of blowjobs. He's got a big dick, and it took me a while to learn how to take him all the way in."

"Eww."

Edward laughed. "Sorry."

"No, you're not, and you shouldn't be." Bella leaned her elbows onto her knees. "Are you really in love with him, Masen?"

"I am. I know . . . Look, I know it's . . . it's not normal. He's our teacher and older, and whatever, but being with him, it . . . it's the only time I feel comfortable in my own skin. He . . . he knows exactly what I need, when I need it, and how I need it."

"Hey, you don't have to justify yourself to me."

"No, I know, but . . . How'd you and Esme get together?"

Bella laughed. "Um, I'd gotten into a fight with my father about Jacob Black, again, and I cut my hand while cooking dinner. I drove myself to the emergency room because, and I know this is going to shock you, Masen, I was a clumsy child and tended to hurt myself a lot. I knew I would need stitches."

"Why didn't your father take you?"

"Because I wouldn't let him," she confessed. "He . . . he offered, but I refused. So, there I was sitting inside one of the examination rooms when the door opened and Esme walked in. Goddamn it, Edward, I got so fucking wet."

"Eww, Swan. If you don't want to hear about my hard-on, I don't want to hear about your pussy."

Bella laughed. "Fair enough, but I was turned on. She . . . she's beautiful, Masen. So fucking beautiful and she started cleaning my hand, and then she placed some surgical glue to hold the wound together, and then wrapped it in gauze, and the way she would look at me, peeking at me from under her lashes, it . . . it took everything I had not to kiss her."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because . . . I don't know . . . She's intimates me."

"Why?"

"Because she's a fucking goddess and I'm just . . . I'm just me."

"Oh, please, Swan, you are gorgeous."

Bella scoffed.

"You are!" he insisted. "Seriously, if I was into girls, I'd probably be crushing on you."

"Whatever, Masen. You're handsome, too, I guess. You know, for a boy."

Edward tilted his head back and laughed. "Gee, thanks."

"You're welcome." Bella leaned back on her hands. "I slipped her my number."

"Who? Esme?"

Bella nodded. "After she fixed my hand and went to get my discharge papers ready, I . . . Well, I wrote my number on a piece of paper and told her to call me if . . . if she was looking for a good time."

"So bold, Swan."

"When I know want, I go for it. And I wanted her. I had barely walked out of the emergency room when I got a text from her that said she got off at ten. I picked her up, we drove out to Miller's Lane and . . . and talked. For hours, we talked and talked. I just . . . I'd never met anyone who listens to me the way she does, Masen. Like every word I say is . . . is important to her."

"Did she know you were in high school?"

Bella shook her head. "I didn't tell her until school started."

"Why not?"

"Because she's a doctor, and I'm not even sure if I'm going to college."

"Why wouldn't you go to college?"

"Um, money for one. Dad can . . . could barely pay for the house, much less my college education."

"If only there were loans, grants, and scholarships available."

"Esme tells me the same, and I have applied for a lot of grants and scholarships, but I mean . . . I don't know. I haven't even gotten into any of the schools I applied to, and if I do, I . . . I can't leave her behind, Masen."

"Isn't that the point of our little charade? Buy us enough time to get through graduation so we can all leave together and start over."

"Yes, but . . . what if . . . what if she realizes that she's too good to be with me? Losing her, Masen, would be the end of me. I can't. . . I wouldn't survive. I wouldn't!"

"Hey, calm down." Edward placed his hands on either side of her face. "It's okay, Swan."

"Masen . . ." she whimpered.

"Shh," he murmured, pulling her against him. "They're worth fighting for."

"They are, but are we?"

And before Edward could assure her that they were more than worth fighting for, the first bell rang signaling the end of lunch. Bella placed her hand on his chest, gently pushing him away before giving him a weak smile before slipping her hand in with his and leading him through the trees, and up to the school. As they walked into the building, they saw Mike and Jessica standing with Lauren, Tyler, James, and Victoria, all of them smiling wickedly. Ignoring them, though, Edward and Bella headed toward their lockers. God, he prayed, let them be worth fighting for.

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