Chapter 43 It could have been worse

Luke's POV

As the door closed behind Sarah, I gestured for her to sit on the mattress, but she didn't move to sit. Instead she remained standing,which is never a good omen, when the last sentence the woman in your life sead was, ("we need to talk.") so I sat on the bed and waited for her to say something. I didn't know how much she had learned about my past but it was very evident that she had learned something, and I didn't feel like trying to bluff my way through this conversation. Better she spoke first so I'd know exactly what I could be accused of. Sarah stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed staring out the window for several minutes before she finally broke the stillness with one clipped word.

"Well?"

Inwardly I cursed, not a good start. On the outside I smiled,

"I missed you."

A small smile flickered across her face making her face almost glow in the mid morning light, but it was quickly chased away by a title wave of doubts that filled her eyes as she looked at me. Her posture which had released just slightly became stiff again as she shot back

"Don't you start with that."

"Start with what?"

"With trying to be all sweet and innocent to get on my good side and out this talk. It's not going to work."

"First of all I'm not trying to get out of whatever it is you want to talk about, it's true I missed you and despite the circumstances I'm happy to see you."

She glanced at the floor and muttered.

"I know."

She sihde, looking back up at me,

"And I'm confused."

I stood and started to move towards her, but she put out a hand to stop me.

"Sarah, is something wrong?"

"Yes Luke, everything is wrong! and I don't understand so please no more lise, tell me the truth."

Her voice was very small and quiet as finished her sentence but her eyes were determined despite how wet they were with tears that weren't allowed to fall. I figured she had learned a couple of nasty stories about me from some of the campers. So trying to keep my voice as gentle as I could I seid.

"Sarah, you have to tell me what you want the truth about. I'll tell you whatever it is but I need to know what you're asking about exactly."

"What do you think I'm asking about!"

"Well.."

"Why did you sell your soul to some evil Titan? Why did you start a war that would get everyone you cared about hurt? Why did you try to literally murder a kid twice?! Why did you kill all of those people?! Luke I know the whole story now and I know it's true! So now I want to know why. What drove you to that point? But more importantly I need to know who you are. Are you the sweet guy I met at the coffee shop? Or are you the cold hearted killer I've heard so much about?"

My mind was bussing. I had been prepared for her to learn a little about my past small things I could clarify, without going into much detail, but this. I couldn't brush off this.

"Well."

"Sarah, it's a lot to explain."

"I don't want an explanation, I want the truth and I know it's going to be a lot so start talking."

I walked over to the window watching the campers running around like ants as they prepared for a fight that was probably inevitable. Without turning away from the window I sed.

"I'm not proud of what I did, and I do regret everything that happened, except the result."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

I bald my hand into a fist against the window frame.

"I was a very different person eleven years ago but so was the Half-Blood world. Eleven years ago I was angry and alone, I was surrounded by people who didn't get it. My best friend had just died because of someone else's bad choices, I was looking after a grief stricken kid who I'd picked off the streets because she'd run away. Annabeth would have died out there if we hadn't found her, and I had just come back to camp a failure after what was supposed to be the biggest moment of my life. I came back to camp after my quest changed but this place was still the same. My cabin overflowing with kids their parents had forgotten about. I was angry, I wanted change, and that's when He found me. He promised change, he promised the god's would pay. I swore to tear Olympus down brick by brick if I had to. He used my anger and changed it to blind hatred, which he used to keep me angry. And when that fire started dying he used threats and fear to keep me loyal. By the time I realized he had been manipulating and using me the same way I was doing it to everyone around me it was too late. I regret everything that happened and if I could turn back time and stop myself I would, except for two things that never would have happened otherwise that to me made it all worth it."

"What?"

I gestured to the window,

"All thoughts cabins were built,"

I turned around to face Sarah,

"And I met you."

Surprise wash over her face,

"When I came back to life I was offered a second chance to get revenge on Olympus, but turned it down. I decided I was done, until all of this happened I had every intention to leave my past behind me, and try to lead a life I could actually be proud of."

She was quiet for a long time so I continued.

"I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, but I could use some help if you're up to the challenge."

"Luke."

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me all of this earlier?"

"I didn't want to scare you, besides you had just found out that you were a Demigod and I figured that was enough to be processing without trying to come to grips with my old life."

"If we hadn't gotten attacked that night would have ever told me."

"Unless I had to, no, I never wanted you to have to find out about all that."

"So you would have kept lying to me about everything if we never found out I was a half-blood?"

"I thought you were mortal. I never would have told you. But if you hadn't found out about my past I would have tried to keep it as secret as best I could."

"So you would have kept lying to me."

"Sarah please…"

"No, you would have kept lying or you would have told me the truth. Which is it?"

"I wouldn't have told you, but only because I want to leave my past where it is."

"That's all I needed to know."

She turned towards the door.

"Sarah, I lie because that's how I was able to survive."

"No you lie because you have something to hide or you lie because that's what you spent your whole life doing. People only lie for those two reasons."

She tried to open the door but was locked so she pounded hard on it before turning back to me.

"I need some time to think, you should do some thinking too."

The door opened, and she turned to Thalía's brother.

"I'm ready to report for duty.

"Get your armor and report back here, Annabeth wants to talk with you."

"Sarah."

She looked back at me,

"Be careful, please."

Her mouth twitched but she didn't say anything as she left my room. The son of Zeus gave me a once over then closed the door leaving me alone. I watched from the window as her small form hurried towards cabin eleven. I slammed my first against the wall, my plan to get here had worked well enough but my reunion with Sarah didn't come anywhere close to how I thought it would go. Now she was mad at me and all I can do now is wait for the camp's decision. Evan so, all things considered today could have been much worse. I stretched and winst, as the bandages that Will had rapid around my wounds pulled at the fresh scabs underneath. Crossing the room I sat on the edge of the mattress and peeled off my socks and shoes before lying back for a much needed nap.