Day 18
- Daily Routine -
"Hinata."
In the warm hold of her bed sheets and a plush pillow case that smells just a bit like her shampoo, Hinata is stirred to stare at the sunlight-lit ceiling by a hand gently touching her shoulder. Usually, when she wakes, she the scent of jasmine follows her into the conscious world; this morning, however, the scent is gone from the air, and she looks at the window sill first, then at the man who woke her.
". . . Gaara?"
He's at the side of her bed, red hair untidy, sticking out in some places, like he's just woken, himself. Hearing his name, he releases her shoulder from his hold and stands straight. His smile is uncertain and a little forced. It reminds her of Sai.
"Good morning."
"What are you doing here?"
The fog of sleep slowly lifts from her brain, and Hinata sits up, gripping her blanket close to her torso. She's clothed in her pajamas, of course, but even that's no sight for the Kazekage.
He doesn't seem to care, of course.
"I live here," he drones. "Where else would I be?"
Ah. Right. She must be confused.
"Kankuro sent me. You're late for breakfast."
Her heart picks up, then sinks. Why? Why does she feel upset? Kankuro is nothing but sweet to her. Hinata's almost sure her dreams must have sent her into some sort of state, for she feels . . . beyond herself. Confused. Scared.
But this is Suna, and he is Gaara.
Gaara doesn't enjoy hurting people anymore. She's safe with him, with his siblings.
"He made the Kazekage fetch me?"
This makes Gaara's smile widen a tad. "My brother has a lot of nerve."
Her foot slips out, touching the carpet. She still feels silly in her pajamas, talking to one of the great leaders in all of the ninja world. As if understanding, Gaara murmurs that they'll be waiting for her, and then he disappears off into the hallway. Alone, nerves on end, for some reason, Hinata gets out of bed, changes into something light to fit the heat, and then goes out.
The Kazekage Tower is much more smaller than how she remembers it. The walls are colorful, not that usual beige that blends in with the desert. The floors are a dark oak.
She hears stirring in the kitchen and tries to peer around the corner. "Gaara?"
The Kazekage is not who she sees.
Instead, Uchiha Sasuke steps out, a rag over his shoulder. Her byakugan activates before she can stop herself, and she looks at his channels, at the flow of his chakra, the way it collects and strays at his missing arm, slowly ebbing away. This isn't a disguise or some jutsu. This is the real Uchiha Sasuke.
What —
Why is he in Suna?
"Gaara?" he repeats in that voice that is very — very familiar to her. A voice that has been constantly surrounding her for nearly three months now. "The Kazekage?"
Hinata takes a moment, massaging her temples, then her eyes, looking around. This isn't Suna; this is Konoha, and she's in her home, and Sasuke is with her. She must have been daydreaming earlier. That has to be it.
"I'm sorry," she says. "I must still be dreaming."
Sasuke comes over to her, drumming his fingers against her forehead. Right. She remembers this. He does this to wake her up in the morning. "You were dreaming about the Kazekage?"
His voice is pitched, teasing, but panic still trembles through her body.
"Not like that!" she says. "Not — it's not like that."
"I know." Playfulness slips off his face, replaced with concern. His hands move down to cup her cheek. "Are you okay?"
The warmth from his palm feels nice against her skin, so Hinata leans into his hold. It's silly to get worked up over nothing and make him worry. Whatever daydreams were plaguing her just moments ago aren't anything to be concerned about, so Hinata tucks them away in the back of her mind for the ponderings of another day. She turns her head to kiss his hand, and he hums, content.
"I'm okay."
"Are you worried about Suna?"
While it's true that recent stories of the riots picking up in Suna does worry her, she tries not to think about it too much. Ever since Tanta told her in the bar that distrust with Gaara has risen in the Suna populus, her nerves have been eating at her sanity. She left Suna in good shape, but that was nearly a year ago. Anything can happen in a year. Treason. War. Assassination. Betrayal.
Gaara is not the kind to betray his village — Hinata knows this to a painful degree.
So what could have happened? Why do his people no longer trust him?
And she tries not to think about it, for it will just send her spiraling, but perhaps Sasuke's right. Perhaps she's a lot more worried about it than she lets herself believe. Maybe that's why she woke that morning with the Kazekage's image looming over her bed, making her believe she was back in Suna.
"I think so," she admits. "A little."
His fingers trace her skin again, running over the arches of her eyebrows and down her nose, circling her cheekbones before dipping down to her lips. "My mother used to do this," he explains. "When I'd be upset, she'd touch my face to calm me." He touches her jaw, chin, then returns to her lips. "Or . . . maybe this was to help me fall asleep."
Hinata laughs, leaning up to kiss is mouth, before moving around him "I'll help with breakfast."
"Good," he says, joining her in the kitchen. "You're better than I am."
...
Uchiha Sasuke must be the kind to like routine, for ever since he's started spending most of his time with her at her home, sometimes staying the night in her bed with her, they have fallen into a comfortable routine whenever she's not out for missions or training. They'd start with breakfast, eating together at the table, and then (if time allows) they'd move on to some of the chores around the house. Usually, he'd get the dishes in the washer while she'd go about checking and watering all her plants, making sure to give them love and attention before the day turns busy. They might throw in a pile of laundry or sweep the floors, and then Sasuke is usually off to do whatever D-Rank is assigned to him that day. While he's gone, Hinata busies herself with chores needed to be done around the village, picking up supplies from stores and whatnot. Sometimes, she'll stop by to see Kurenai. Sometimes, she'll find Kiba or Ino or Tenten and have lunch with them. Sometimes, she'll train with her sister and make tea for her father. By the time she's finished with everything, she'll be home, and Sasuke will have showered and will be waiting for her in the living room, reading in his usual chair.
The morning starts as it usually does.
She waters her plants, and he tells her that they'll have the fix one of the cabinet doors in the kitchen, seeing that it's loose at the hinges. They lean over the table as she writes a list of things she'll have to pick up at the store, him piping up every now and then to remind her to get this or that.
When he's getting ready to leave, he kisses her and slips money in her pocket to help pay for supplies, and she smacks his shoulder, reminding him that he has to save up money.
Even with Sasuke gone, Hinata can still feel touches of his presence in her home.
Months ago, she never would have imagined her house feeling like Uchiha Sasuke — like fire and lightning and a gentle, calming aura.
Now, she can't imagine a life without it.
Sasuke's . . . a part of me, now.
He always has been, in one way or another. First, he was a boy, the son of the prestigious Uchiha clan that the Hyuuga always visited; then, he was that lonely kid she shared drinks and messages with. He was gone, and then he was back, a symbol of her return to Konoha. Now he's her home, her comfort; she wakes up thinking about him, and she feels safe and loved and appreciated.
She's always known this — but thinking about it now puts things into perspective.
Hinata had thought she'd live the rest of her life alone.
Sasuke refuses to let that happen.
And . . .
And that's beautiful, but perhaps too beautiful.
Sasuke wouldn't like me thinking this way. He gets the scowl of an old grandpa when her anxieties get the best of her and she feels lesser, weak. Think positive, Hinata.
Standing around her home won't do her any good, so Hinata grabs the list off the table, makes sure she has her wallet, and leaves her house —
Only to meet the stern face of a jonin, who informs her that the Hokage requires her presence immediately.
...
Maito Gai, Hokage, doesn't look at all in a hurry when she enters his office. He spins around in his chair, throwing and catching a ball up in the air, while Rock Lee, Hokage's trusted advisor, gains a perplexed look while doing a crossword.
Hinata can't imagine running and leading Konoha is such a boring and slow job for moments of rest like this, but she doesn't say a word about it as she knocks on the door frame, announcing her entrance. Gai drags his feet against the floor, slowing his spin to a stop, while Lee looks up from his book, grinning.
"Hinata!" He leaps to his feet to greet you. "You came quickly."
"I heard it was urgent." She comes to the middle of the office and bows. "Lord Hokage."
Gai waves his hand in the air. "Dear Hinata, I've told you how many times to not be so formal with me?"
"Eighty-three times, sir." She's counted.
"Let's not make it eighty-four times, hm?"
"Yes sir."
He snorts, and Lee bellows out a laugh. "You're cute, Hinata."
She smiles, then folds her hands at her front. "You asked for me?"
"Ah, yes. That I did." Sitting up in his chair, Gai motions for her to come closer. Hinata travels across the floor, meeting him at the other end of his desk, looking down at the latest newspaper article sent out that morning. It's detailing the riots in Suna. Apparently, a spokesman has risen up and popularity, and some speculate that he's aiming for the Kazekage's position. "I'm sure you're well aware of what's happening in Suna."
"Yes."
"Ambassador Ki is in Suna now, having a terrible time with the people there, as you can imagine. He's well protected by Suna nin, of course. But with their efforts protecting him and the Kazekage, as well as many Suna nin also showing skepticism towards Lord Gaara, they're short on shinobi who can investigate the riots properly and aid in the negotiations between them and the Kazekage."
She already knows where this is going, and a steel ball of dread falls into her gut.
"You worked as Ambassador for a couple years, yes?" Lee notes. "Because of your familiarity with Suna and their policies, Lord Gai is asking you to —"
"No."
It almost doesn't sound like her voice. She doesn't even feel her tongue move to shape the syllables. It's just — out there, before she even realizes.
Lee blinks, and Gai gives her a hard stare. It's not angry or pointed, but it sinks into her skin, and Hinata tenses.
"No?"
"I mean — I-I'm sorry." She bows quickly. "Yes, o-of course I'll dedicate my efforts to help the Kazekage."
The pause between them is long. There's rumors that Gai and Lee are so much alike that they can read each other's thoughts. Hinata has never believed such a thing possible until that very moment, with both their gazes on her, quietly analyzing.
Eventually, Gai speaks. "I thank you, Hinata. And I'm sure the Kazekage will thank you, as well."
I doubt that. But Hinata keeps that securely to herself. "Of course."
"We can't tell you how long this mission will be, but you'll have a partner. Once it's been discussed with him, more details will be sent your way." He stands, towering over her. "I'm sure you understand that this is strictly confidential."
"Yes, Lord Hokage."
He smiles, and Lee stands, as well. "Shall I take you home, Hinata?"
"Oh, no, but thank you."
She bows to each of them, gently shuts the door behind her, and tries her hardest to not collapse in the hallway.
...
In the startling, afternoon heat, Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara wait for her. They're dressed in mission uniforms, and Hinata can't remember the last time she's seen Gaara outside of his robes.
"Hinata!" Kankuro reaches her first, meeting her on the steps. "We were waiting for you."
"Heard you'll be helping us out for a bit," Temari says, grinning. "I fear we'll work you into the ground."
Gaara stands behind his siblings on the level ground. He has to look up to meet her eye. "We'll walk you home."
"Home?"
Kankuro snickers, taking her elbow and helping her down the stairs. "Yeah. Home. With us."
"Our home," Temari says.
Gaara nods. "Do you remember how to get there?"
Hinata thinks about it, then shakes her head. They all settle at her side, guiding her through the sandy streets of Suna. Kankuro is clear to point out distinctive landmarks and buildings to help her figure out where she is. Temari reminds her that all the main streets in Suna will take her either East or West, so following one of them will eventually take her to the tower. Things are starting to look familiar to her now. The big fountain. The bazaars. The Phoenix statue.
"I'm starting to remember," she says.
Kankuro ruffles her hair, which makes Temari elbow his stomach. They yap to themselves, the noise fitting well with the buzz of the village. Something sandy touches her left hand, and then it's warm and soft. She looks down, finds Gaara's fingers hooked around hers, and bites her lips together.
What . . . ?
What should she do?
"Gaara," she whispers.
"Hm?"
"Um, maybe I'm thinking too much into this, but I'd like to at least say this — just in case." Her thumb taps one of his knuckles, making them both look down at it. "I'm dating Sasuke right now, so . . . so, um, just in case this means something to you . . . ."
Sasuke?
Uchiha Sasuke?
But she hasn't seen him in eight years.
Gaara gives her a strange look, perhaps just as confused as she is. "Dating?"
Listening in, Kankuro laughs to her right. "Who'd date you, Hinata?"
"Of course, I feel nothing significant for you." Gaara removes his hand from her hold. "You're like a child I'm guiding home."
Child? Is that really how he sees her?
"I'm sorry, Hinata," Temari pipes up, "but my brothers wouldn't have any interest in someone like you."
"Maybe you should date that traitor." Kankuro pokes her cheek. "Fitting, don't you think?"
"Don't say that!" The sky fluctuates between blue and gold. The heat is beating down on her. The ground feels uneven. "Sasuke's a good man. He — he's —"
"In love with you?" Kankuro steps in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. "Let me guess. He confessed and everything. Even kissed you and made you feel special. Am I right?"
"You believe him?" Temari asks.
"If I did those things to you, would you believe me?" Gaara's voice sounds distant. Cold. Like it's winter.
Hinata doesn't know what to say. She shoves past Kankuro, who whines, wondering if she's mad at them.
There's a reason she left Suna. Why did she think she could come back and pretend everything was fine? When they said they'd take her home — why — why did she believe them?
A hand grabs her shoulder, and she jumps away. "Don't —"
"Hinata?" It's a guard. A Konoha guard. She looks up and sees she's at one of the gates. "Where are you going? We heard nothing about you having a mission."
Konoha. This is Konoha.
Right?
"I'm sorry. I was spacing out."
The two guards share a look, and she turns around and leaves before they say anything else to her.
...
Where . . . am I?
This is Konoha. This is definitely Konoha — the very place she's been staying for the past several months. Kurenai and Mirai are here, in their little home with the big yard full of toys. Kiba and Shino are here, probably out training or grabbing a bite to eat. Her sister is here. Her friends are here.
She has a house here, doesn't she?
Where is it?
She has a sofa and two armchairs. The second bathroom has a mirror she recently cleaned. There's a list in her pocket with supplies for a loose kitchen cabinet door.
How . . . does she get home again?
These are Konoha streets. It took her a while to remember everything after she came back from Suna, but she's been living here since then. She remembers these streets — she should. So why doesn't she? Why can't she remember how to get home?
Hinata sits down on the first bench she sees, trying to clear her mind. It's messy and jumbled up. If she calms down, she'll be able to remember where she is and how to get home. She just needs to breathe. In, out. Through nose, out mouth — slowly, calmly.
One, two. In, out.
Why is she remembering Suna? Why does she think those three are here?
Don't think about that. In, out.
She had agreed to go back, hadn't she? Will things get even worse after that?
One, two.
If . . . things do get worse, what will she do?
"Hinata."
Sasuke.
She'd know that voice anywhere.
She looks up, and he's standing before her, head tipped to the side. Hinata reaches out and touches the sleeve of his shirt, making sure he's real.
"What are you doing out here?" he asks.
Hinata looks around, then back at him. "I . . . I don't remember how to get home."
Realization brightens his features, and he tugs his sleeve out of her grasp before offering his hand instead.
"I'll take you home."
Both of her hands grab onto his, and she stands, sways, using his shoulder to find her balance. He gives her plenty of time to adjust, and then he guides her along with him.
"Just keep holding my hand," he tells her.
She doesn't even try to see where they're going. Hinata's gaze stays on those fingers of his, scared they'll fade away and leave her if she looks away. "Thank you."
"You're okay."
They're home in no time. Sasuke uses his key to unlock the door, and cool air and the smell of plants and lemon dish soap hits her face. Hinata takes off her shoes with Sasuke, and then he guides her to the sofa, letting her sit comfortably in the corner.
She doesn't let go of his hand, and he doesn't ask her to.
"Can I get you something?" he asks
Her legs curl up under her. Her fingers clamp around his. "Come here."
Not a word of protest leaves him as Sasuke sinks onto the sofa cushion next to her, bringing her head forward to rest against his chest. She breathes in his shampoo and his warmth and relaxes, remembering, realizing that she's finally home.
...
Twenty minutes or so pass when he finally asks, "It's Suna, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"You were asked to go there."
How does he know that? "The Hokage needs me to."
Sasuke remains quiet, hand on the back of her skull, tucking her against him. It's like when they're in bed, and he holds her close when she's drifting to sleep. He tells her he loves her, and she used to think it was for his own sake, his own peace of mind.
Now she understands it was for her.
Sasuke loves her enough to know that, sometimes, she needs reminding — not because she forgets or because she doesn't think he truly does love her — but because her heart is healing, and healing needs constant care and aid. He whispers it into her hair, and her heart relaxes, and she can fall asleep knowing he's there, next to her, and he won't leave. Not like Naruto. Not like Kanuro.
"Sasuke," she whispers. "I have something I need to tell you. About Suna."
His fingers press into her skull. "I'll listen."
She knows he will.
If Hinata can trust anything, it's that Uchiha Sasuke loves her, he'll listen to her, and he'll wait until the end of time for her.