Boldly! He Chased Her

by PianoCoat

For SHMonth2023! It's been eight years since he left Konoha; nine months since he returned. Now Sasuke has to figure out what to do with his decade-long crush on Hinata. She's everything he remembers her to be, but at the same time, she's almost a stranger. Rather than push him away, however, Sasuke's only more inclined to chase her.

19. Day 19

Day 19

- Even Shame Can Turn Into Love

---

A/N:Super quickly! Because I am in the middle of a pretty big move, updates will be sporadic from now on. I will still publish and finish the rest of the prompts, just not on the correct days (as shown here). Thank you for your patience, and please enjoy.

- PianoCoat

---

It's a silly little thing that makes Hinata stop all thoughts and reason, realizing, in the heat of Suna's ghastly summer, that she's got it bad for Kankuro. Still in the midsts of figuring out the ins and outs of her newly appointed ambassador role, Hinata spends her late nights studying and her early, early mornings swinging between the sand siblings, jumping from office to office, meeting councilmen and chief executives of this and that, shaking hands with spokesmen, touring the village to witness how things are run firsthand. Often exhausted, and with the heat not helping at all, her afternoons are often miserable, and she has trouble staying upright and awake.

She's a week into her stay with Suna.

Every few months, she will return to Konoha, spending most of her time with Tsunade and Shizune, discussing policies and negotiations between them and Suna. With Suna's recent plans of expanding due to the war's end causing a rapid rise in population, Lord Kazekage is eager to get his hands on the abundant amounts of wood and stone Konoha owns. However, because her village is still in the process of rebuilding, Hinata understands such materials may be hard to peel from Tsunade's hands. She will have to get a good understanding of Gaara's plans before they can come up with the amount of materials needed that she will present to the Hokage on her next visit.

The issue that stands, however, is that Gaara doesn't seem to have a plan for her at the moment. From what she can tell through talk between the siblings, expansion is still in the works during meetings with the Council — meetings she's not to join, despite her being there as Konoha's representor and key to the materials they are in desperate need of.

Hinata does not like sitting and waiting.

Thus, today, instead of lounging around that afternoon and fighting sleep, she walks around town to analyze the homes, noting how they're structured and what materials they're made of. If she can at least get an idea of what is the standing buildings require, her idea of what may be required will be more fleshed out.

So she hopes, at least.

It's as sweltering today as any other day, the afternoon sun as merciless as it was yesterday and as it will be tomorrow. The villagers walk and talk like it's a cool day for them, some going so far as to pull on light jackets when they step into the shaded areas of stores and tight, slim roads. Will there ever be a day she'll be like them, so used to the heat that high temperatures like this will give her a chill?

Doubtful, but Hinata hopes.

She's been out for about half and hour, a notebook and pencil in hand, two water bottles sticking out of her backpack. She sits in shade and sketches buildings she finds noteworthy to jot down. That morning, she borrowed a book from the library listing all kinds of materials used in structures and housing, and she reads through the lists and writes down the ones she can pinpoint before moving on to the next building.

On her fourth sketch, she's momentarily distracted by a body sitting next to her on the bench, finger stretching out to tap on her page of lined paper.

"That's wrong," Kankuro says. "Actually, it's terracotta for this part."

She blinks, checks her book, sees he's right, and quickly fixes her mistake. "Are you interested in construction?"

"Hell no!" he barks. "I'm just so used to seein' the stuff that I can tell. I'm sure you'd be able to tell the difference between trees. Me? I'd have to get me a book."

Hinata looks over her work, then moves to shut her book, only for Kankuro to drag it into his lap so he may flip through the pages. She wonders if he's checking her work or if he's just curious, but a mild embarrassment fills her as his eyes scan her dinky little drawings.

"You're thorough," he says.

Her fingers curl against her lap. "It's my job."

"Didn't realize ambassadors had to know how the basic Suna home is built."

"You know what I mean."

Snickering, Kankuro hands her back the notebook, and she slips it into her backpack, sure she's got a good enough understanding to wrap things up here.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here."

He stands offering his hand to help her up. With the sun over his painted face, shaggy hair in display, her heart jumps a beat and a half. "Want me gone?"

"No." She takes his hand, tries not to think how warm it feels along her palm, and offers a grateful smile. "Not at all."

She hopes she doesn't give the impression that she'd rather be alone than with him. Kankuro, aside from her first day arriving in Suna, has been sweet to her. He's attentive, asking what meats and vegetables she likes so that he can tell the chefs what to prepare. He's persistent to make his siblings wait for her during breakfast, and he speaks slowly when he realizes he's talking about something she doesn't quite understand. Whenever his face comes up, Hinata finds a bit of her energy returning to her, and the day gets a little easier.

It reminds her of —

Oh.

But she shouldn't be thinking of him while she's here. Suna is her escape, her sanctuary. She doesn't have to worry she'll turn a corner and see his face.

She has to relax.

Kankuro, despite the somewhat arrogant air around him, helps her with that, and she's always thankful.

"Going back?" he asks.

She nods, takes a step forward, then immediately stops.

"U-Um."

"Huh? What's up?"

She looks down both ends of the streets, recognizes nothing, and sheepishly turns back to him. "I haven't a clue where I am."

Kankuro stares for a moment, then laughs, tossing her bangs around with the very hand that helped her up. Embarrassed as she his, Hinata can't help but . . . like that he's touching her. Through the hair falling into her eyes, she sees a brilliant, lopsided smile — all teeth and shine, wide, glowing.

She looks at him, at that smile, and it hits her.

Oh dear.

She's got a thing for him

...

But — well, just because she's got a small crush on him doesn't mean she has to do anything about it.

Crushes fade.

Sure, the one with Naruto lasted longer than a decade, but . . . but crushed fade. Definitely.

And this one will fade.

Definitely.

...

When it's dark and the rest of Kazekage Tower sleeps, sometimes Hinata dreams of Konoha.

It has a dew-y smell in the morning, with birds singing and trees waving. No matter the time of year, it always smells like spring, like fresh oak and pine and cut grass and lavender. There's a small orchard by the Hyuuga estate her and Hanabi used to sneak out to at dawn, picking apples and biting into the skin, juice dripping down their chins and making their fingers sticky.

There are no apple orchards in Suna. When it is morning, it smells like sand and dust and sweat.

Hinata misses Hanabi terribly.

It rocks her to her core so violently that she wakes to her small, dark room, startled, confused. She thinks she's in the estate, so she folds a robe over her nightgown and steps out into the cold hallway, birch wood biting into her toes. She wanders for a while, then stops, realizing she's not home. She's far away from the Hyuuga, from her sister, and the loneliness is so painful that she can't go back to sleep.

Sometimes, she stays in her room, reading anything that she thinks will distract her.

Sometimes, she sneaks out into the cold, desert night, hoping it will shock her body back into sleep.

Tonight, she explores the twists and turns of hallways, going from building to building. She finds a grand dining room that's far from the smaller, but still impressive one where she eats with the sand siblings. This one holds a long table that fits about sixty chairs, and Hinata can't imagine them all being filled with people. There's a room full of portraits and a few meeting rooms decorated with plants and stiff, leather chairs.

One room she comes across holds a white piano, dustless, perhaps even used recently. Hinata doesn't know how to play, and even if she did, she wouldn't like to wake someone, so she leaves it be and goes back into the hallway.

She finds the Kazekage's Office, then Temari's office a few doors down.

There's a stir from the floor below, and she looks from the balcony to see some of the kitchen staff are preparing for breakfast.

What time is it?

Is it that early in the morning?

She really should go back to bed.

But . . . where is bed, again?

She's gone all over the place, so it's impossible to retrace her steps.

"Don't tell me you're lost again."

Turning, Hinata finds Kankuro coming up the grand staircase. His tone catches some of the staff's attention, and he waves a hand at them before joining her on the second floor.

"You're up early." Really, she thought she'd be the only one awake aside from a few staff members at this time.

Kankuro breathes out a laugh. He's dressed in his usual, breezy and colorful clothes that he tends to wear around the place, signifying he's at least been up enough to dress. His hair is still messy, and his face is clean of its usual paint, but the clean skin along his jaw looks like he at least took the time to shave.

"I usually get up around this time," he says. "Temari and Gaara, too. Early birds, I guess."

A pin of shame sinks into her lungs. They wake so early, and yet it wouldn't be another five hours until she's usually up for breakfast. "I'm so sorry."

"For what? I doubt you get lost on purpose."

"No, I mean — I don't mean to sleep in."

His grin is boyish, and she tries not to think about how handsome he looks, even in the dark. "We don't mind. We don't expect everyone to wake up when we do." He pauses, looks at her, and hums. "But you're up now. Couldn't sleep?"

Hinata feels so easy to read. "Yes. Something like that."

He motions his shoulder towards the stairs. "I can get someone to make you tea. Warm milk? Something relaxing."

Again, his attentiveness leaves her speechless, so Hinata just nods and follows him to the first floor, down into the normal dining room that she's familiar with. He asks a maid for warm milk before sitting with her at the end. On the other end is where they usually sit, with Gaara at the edge with Temari and Kankuro at either end of him. The great window that looks over Suna is covered by heavy draperies at the moment — not that there'd be much of a sight even if she could look out, seeing as it's not even late enough in the morning for dawn to slowly touch the skies.

"I saw there was a piano," she says, feeling the need to fill the silence. If it's quiet for too long, she'll start to think about her sister again. "Does anyone play?"

"Temari does — terribly." Kankuro laughs. "No, not really. We hired someone to play for us. Helps Gaara concentrate. Lifts his spirits and such."

For some reason, she figured Gaara was the kind to work best under complete silence.

"I'd like to listen. Once."

The maid comes to bring the milk, and Kankuro takes it from her, thanks her, and places it within Hinata's reach. "I'll make sure you'll get the chance. She's from Ame, but has traveled all over the place." He lets her get a few sips in before continuing. "I bet she'll know a few Konoha songs."

"O-Oh."

"That's why you're up, right? You miss Konoha."

Can just anyone read her thoughts? Shino can with ease, as can Hanabi, but she's known them for so long that it only makes sense. But Hinata's hardly been here a week, and yet Kankuro seems to already have her figured out.

"I do," she says. "I miss it terribly."

"And we can't come to any agreement, which is only prologing your stay here."

So that's the issue. Gaara and the Council can't seem to be on the same page.

Hinata takes another drink of her milk before asking, "Why am I not allowed to be present for the meetings?"

Kankuro's mouth screws up in an exaggerated manner. "Traditions. For a long time, only the people of Suna were allowed to overhear meetings between Kazekage and the Council. It was extra measurements during the previous wars to keep confidentiality for important information. Even old man Ki hasn't been allowed to overhear one, nor any of the other ambassadors."

"But I need to know what's being discussed."

"You're right." As soon as it came, his frown leaves, and her messes his hand in her hair again. "I'd like to see their reaction if you were there. Those old coots wouldn't be able to say no to a cute face like yours."

. . . Cute.

She shouldn't feel this happy.

But she does.

Finishing her drink, Hinata gently pushes her chair back to stand. "I think I'd like to go back to my room now."

Kankuro smirks and stands with her. "Feelin' better?"

"Yes. The milk helped." Her fingers plays together, and she adds, a bit shyly, "And so did you."

They go down the hallway, passing the large entrance before going down the familiar way that leads her to her room. "If it happens again, look for me. Even if I'm sleeping." He scratches his neck, thinks, then laughs. "Hell, I'll even draw you a map — y'know, in case you get lost."

Hinata gasps and shoves her shoulder into his, and he cackles and slips her key out of her robe's pocket to open the door for her.

...

Maybe . . .

Maybe throwing this crush into the wind will be a bit more difficult than she originally thought.

...

It's some days later when Hinata hears the piano musing through the halls of the tower.

When she comes to the Kazekage's office, the door is wide open, allowing the melody to drift into the room with ease. She sees Gaara in his chair, turned to the side so that he may look over his village. There's something peaceful about this view that makes Hinata stray a bit in the hallway, unwilling to shake the air with her presence. When his gaze drifts over to her, however, she realizes he must have sensed her the moment she came by. Feeling silly, she quickly enters, bowing to him.

"Good morning, Lord Gaara."

"I apologize, Ambassador Hinata." He stands to greet her, though his greeting is . . . more of an apology than anything else. "I still do not have an update for you on the expansion plan."

She figured as much. Breakfast was nothing but a crabby Temari and a quiet Kazekage. Kankuro had a terrible time getting them to talk. "May I please ask for an explanation as to why negotiations with the Council are not working?"

He sweeps his arm to the window, calling for her to look out at the village with him.

"Because we are homed in a crater, we have a limited amount of space," he explains. "The original idea was that we build up, which my siblings and I are not fond of. Suna homes are small, and building on top of them will only get us so far before we reach the limit. It's not a plan that will last us long enough."

"Not to mention that sandstone is difficult to use for taller buildings," she notes.

Gaara's eyes flash her way, slightly wide when compared to his normal, deadpan expression. "Kankuro told me you were doing research," he murmurs, "but I did not realize it was so thorough."

"It's my job."

"I thank you, Ambassador." Piano drifts between them, and his focus pulls back to Suna. "The second proposition was that we build at the tops of the cliffs, which I am not fond of, either." His hand taps on the glass, guiding her gaze to the tall cliffs surrounding the village. "The desert is home to horrible storms and winds that the crater protects us from. I fear that if we expand ourselves outside of that protection, I'll be sending my people to their graves."

Understanding what he means, Hinata nods. 'What do you propose?"

"Nothing," he says, voice tinged with bitterness. "I've come up with nothing, which is why we're at such a standstill."

Ah.

It makes sense. He's trying to come up with a plan to avoid the problems the other two would give his people, but it's hard to come up with someone with the limited space he has to work with. Suna is packed as it is. They've used up all the space the crater has to offer; now they have to come up with something more.

"Demolishing and rebuilding with steel will be expensive," she notes.

"And Konoha lacks those resources," he adds. "So do most of the other villages. The war has drained them."

"And with the unstable grounds, we can't move underground."

He gives her a look. "You see the predicament I'm in, Ambassador."

It's definitely a tricky spot. She tries to think more, looking out at the village, the cliffs.

Wait.

"Lord Kazekage," she says, spinning his way, giving him that slightest bit of surprise to his expression once more. "What if we expand into the cliffsides?"

His eyes narrow in thought. "Expound."

"We — um — do you have something I can draw on?"

They move to the desk, where he flips over a document that must be unimportant enough for her to draw on the back of it. With a pen, she sketches the cliff sides, then draws in homes carved into it. "We build into the cliffs like this. In ancient times, civilizations would build into mountains for protection from beasts and floods. They'd carve out pathways up the mountain and use the stone as the foundation of their homes. I'm wondering if Suna can do the same — ah, well, in a more modern sense, of course."

Gaara watches her speedily sketch out her idea, looking over it, considering.

"With my people in the walls of the cliffs, they'll still be protected," he notes.

"And you'll be saving materials," she adds, giddy. "I'm not sure how ventilation will work, so you'll have to research that —"

"The Ambassador from Iwa may be able to help with that. They have recently been building into the mountains surrounding them."

"And when you've used up all you can of the cliffs, perhaps you can consider building on the cliff tops with a stronger material." She thinks for a moment. "Concrete, maybe."

Gaara takes the sketch in hand, overlooks it, then turns to her.

"Ambassador," he says, eyes gentle despite his serious tone, "you've saved my life."

That's a bit of an exaggeration, but Hinata is glad, all the same. "I'm happy to help you develop this plan more before you sell it to the Council —"

"You'll be the one proposing it."

Huh? "B-But Kankuro said only Suna —"

"You came up with it," he drones. "You deserve the opportunity to propose it. I'll see to it that you'll be there."

Hinata stands there, swaying a bit, like there's a minor earthquake shaking the floor of the tower. If Kazekage Gaara is willing to break Suna traditions for her sake, then . . . she must have earned his trust, right? Has she proven herself to be fit for her role as Ambassador?

"Thank you, Gaara," she says. "I'll be there."

He flattens her messy sketch onto his desk, then looks at her. Really looks, to the point that she worries something mysteriously appeared on her face.

And then she realizes — she'd just called him —

"Oh, I'm sorry!"

"I'll allow it," he says. "I don't see it as disrespectful."

That's . . . good.

Hinata relaxes herself, and piano sings through her ears once more.

...

For the next two weeks, Hinata works on her proposal to present to the Council. Kankuro and Temari are kind to help her, setting her meetings with land and home developers, giving her tours of the cliffs. Her nights are still late as she reads over books, history and modern, detailing construction within the walls of mountains and cliffs.

Gaara, miraculously, was able to get her a spot in the meeting. Every day, she keeps him posted on her findings, and he is always patient if she comes up with errors in her plan and has to rethink certain parts.

On the day of the meeting, Hinata nervously wipes her hands down her skirt and prays to Kami she'll keep her stutter under control. Councilmen and women pass through the halls, slowly trickling into the meeting room. Their faces are stern, sometimes dour, and she can't help but think that her being there is the reason for such expressions.

"Bah. Don't worry about it, Hinata." Kankuro's hand drops on her shoulder. "They'll forget all about traditions when they hear about this proposal."

"We'll be in there with you," Temari, next to him, adds. "If they give you trouble, we'll stop it."

Thanking them, Hinata gathers her wits before entering the room with them.

Time ticks by. More and more join, sitting in their assigned seats. The last to enter is Gaara, cloaked in his robes and hat, fiery hair still on display despite the wide rim. Any chatter quiets as he sits in his seat at the front of the table. His somber face does not match the smug smiles bother Temari and Kankuro are fighting to wipe from their expressions.

The meeting stops slowly as Gaara reminds the Council of what they're discussing and why they've been having to come back time and time again to this issue of expansion. In detail, he lists his qualms with the two previously proposed plans, and then announces that Ambassador Hyuuga Hinata from Konoha has come up with a proposal that she will be presenting to the Council.

The attention turns on her. There's a quiet, disapproving murmur that she ignores as she stands, and with a clear, cutting tone, she explains her plan, starting with her research, backing it up with evidence of mountain and cliff-side structures working in Iwa, and detailing the procedure of cutting into the cliffside should this plan be selected. She explains how this proposal will avoid previously stated issues from the other plans, and the air slowly turns intrigued when she notes how cost-effective this proposal will be.

After her speech, a ten-minute recess is allowed for discussion, and Hinata sweats in her seat. Kankuro offers her a reassuring smile across the table, and soon, the Council returns to their chairs to vote.

Fifty-two are in favor, including the Kazekage.

The plan has been decided.

Now, they're on to discuss negotiations with Konoha.

...

First, she leaves the meeting room, bowing to any councilmember she meets eyes with. She walks away from the crowd, the noise, and finds herself at the top of the staircase, where she breathes in the hot air and out her nerves.

Then, her feet lift the ground suddenly when Kankuro comes up from behind her, circles his arms around her waist, and lifts her into the air. She lets out something between a squeak and a shout, causing a roar of laughter to spring from his lungs. He spins her around a bit, then drops her back onto her feet, hands staying on her shoulders to stabilize her.

"I had a feelin' you'd get to them," he says. "What did I say? No one can say no to a cute face."

"Stop, Kankuro." Temari joins them by the steps. She tugs the lobe of her brother's ear, sucking the backs of her teeth. "You'll make her sick."

"I-I'm okay." Hinata's face is red, and her heart feels like it could burst from her chest, but she's okay.

"Ah, let me have some fun." Kankuro pulls out of his sister's hold. "After Gaara lays down the material needed, looks like our Hinata will finally be going back to Konoha."

Oh — that's right. She'll be able to go home. Dreams of her sister still plague her nights, and she hopes the quick visit will help settle her loneliness. A new wave of gusto floods her system, and Hinata grins.

...

That evening, the maids bring out sake that smells sweet and fruity. Kankuro and Temari had started drinking long before anyone else, and now they're cooped up in the piano room, trying to remember how to play childhood songs. They hit the wrong keys and giggle. There's a strain to Gaara's face every time they're off, and Hinata offers him a glass for her to pour sake in.

"I shouldn't," he says. "You've seen what it does to me."

She remembers it well, that shaking mess of a man. "Don't worry. I'll sign and write anything you'll need in the morning."

He gives her a look. "You're the ambassador, not my secretary."

Still, even with those words fresh on her ears, he takes the glass, and she's careful to pour the fruity sake into it before joining him in drinking. The music gets more pleasant the more they drink, and Kankuro and Temari's singing sounds more in tune. Hinata tries to play a Konoha lullaby, but forgets the second half entirely, so Kankuro steps in to save the day and smash his fingers into random keys, hoping it will sound good.

It doesn't.

But no one really cares.

It's a bit harder to pour drinks, but Hinata still manages without spilling too much on Gaara's hand. He thanks her quietly, seemingly the only one who isn't too tipsy, and then overlooks the antics of his siblings.

"You like my brother," he notes.

If Hinata weren't so full of sake, she'd be a fumbling mess. "I think I do."

"I don't know how I could tell." He squints at her face, searching. "I just do."

She smiles, but it soon sags, and she rolls her glass between her palms. "I feel like I shouldn't."

". . . Do you think my brother unworthy?"

"N-No! Of course not!" Her voice is much to loud for her ears, so Hinata makes sure to lower it as she continues. "I just — it's silly — but . . . I feel like I'm betraying Naruto."

The name is familiar and powerful between them. Gaara nods, trying to understand.

"Are you with him?"

"With Naruto?" His face appears in her mind, guilty, red with shame, as he leaves her at the restaurant. "No. Of course not."

"Why is it 'of course'?" Gaara asks. "You make it sound like it's expected."

Hinata supposes he wouldn't really understand, seeing as he lives here, in Suna, and not in Konoha where apparently everyone and their mother could tell her feelings for Naruto were painfully one-sided.

"He doesn't love me," she says.

"And you do? Still?"

"I-I — I don't know." Her attention turns to Kankuro, handsome, even as he sways with a derpy smile on his face. "Maybe that's why I feel guilty. I'm not sure what I'm feeling."

She picks up the bottle to pour another glass for the both of them, but he takes it from her hands and sets it on the side table.

"If I didn't buy your house and you sold it to someone else, why should you feel bad for giving someone something that I didn't want?" His tone is serious, along with his face, but then it changes, and her turns away, wrist against his mouth, and Gaara — laughs? "That was a horrible analogy."

And, strangely, Hinata laughs with him. "I know what you mean."

"My brother is a good man," he continues. "No matter what you decide, he'll be good to you." For a moment, he thinks, and then something strange appears on his face. It's not a smile, but it's something close. Something almost smile-like that makes Hinata stare. "Though, if I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind having another sister."

This lights her face on fire, and she reaches for the sake, which he artfully holds over her head, out of reach, with a bit of sand.

...

Another week passes, and Hinata is finally on her way back to Konoha. She doesn't have to pack much, since she'll be coming to Suna soon anyway, so she packs enough food and supplies for the three-day journey between Suna and Konoha, and then she exits her room, hands the key to her room back to Temari for safekeeping, double-checks that all her documents are safely secured in her pack, then leaves.

Kankuro waits for her at the front of the tower.

"Scared you'd get lost," he tells her, grinning, "so I thought I'd walk you to the gate."

Light on her feet, Hinata walks with him at her side, listening to the melody of his voice. He tells her to get that Tsunade to accept their terms no matter what, and that she'd better come back soon; the place feels different when she's around. A good different. A different that makes it feel more like home.

Home . . .

When Hinata waves back at his form staying by the gate, she thinks about that word.

Her home is in Konoha, with all her friends and family.

But Suna — well, she likes Suna. She likes its people.

If there was such a thing as a second home, Suna would be it.

...

When she proposes Suna's expansion plan to the Hokage, reviewing the materials they request and how much they'll need, Tsunade sits back in her chair with an almost flabbergasted expression.

"Honestly, Hinata, I was expecting to fight you over this." A manicured nail taps one of the documents displayed upon her desk. "But this amount is something Konoha can easily supply without negatively affecting our own rebuilding efforts. I don't know how you managed to do it."

Shizume muses in equal wonder as she looks over the documents.

"Ambassador Ki will be thrilled to know you're doing well as his replacement."

Tsunade grins to herself. "Maybe I can convince the old man to retire early."

"Oh, Lord Hokage!"

Shizune frowns, and Tsunade cackles as she pulls out a bottle of booze from the bottom drawer of her desk, sharing a drink of celebration with Hinata.

...

Hanabi's adamant to take her out to dinner at least once before she leaves to return to Suna with the first wave of supplies Tsunade will be sending over to Suna. Hinata thinks the local bakery would be just fine, but Hanabi takes her to Choji's restaurant, which she explains he had finally gotten along to opening only a week after Hinata left for Suna.

To her surprise, many members of Konoha 12 were there to share a meal with them. Her team, including Kurenai, already had a large booth saved for them, and Ino and Lee and Tenten were also there to celebrate Hinata's work as Koonoha's new, temporary ambassador.

Naruto, she notes, is nowhere to be found. Shino, reading her thoughts, quietly mentions that he's out to find Uchiha Sasuke, and Hinata's not sure if she should feel relieved or upset.

Hanabi will not have her in a bad mood, however, as she's quick to throw herself into wild tales about all that's been happening in Konoha while she was gone. She tells of rumors that Tsunade is stepping down from her role as Hokage soon, and that she's looking for her replacement. Hanabi speculates Kakashi's a likely candidate, while Kiba figures Kurenai would be a good Hokage if she weren't so busy with Mirai.

After food is served and everyone enjoys their meal, Hanabi asks, "And what about Suna? Aside from the expansion plan you've been working on, has anything happened?"

"I'm sure Gaara is treating you well!" Lee pipes.

Hinata remembers the look of horror the Kazekage got the morning after their night of celebration. With the awful shaking to his hands, he was useless for most of the morning, and Hinata felt her hands growing numb with all the writing and stamping and signing she had to do for him. "Yes. Lord Gaara is very kind to me."

"Shikamaru wonders about Temari a lot," Ino twitters. "He's got it bad for that girl."

Based on the secret conversations about said Nara she'd had in Temari's office, Hinata's sure the feeling is mutual.

"And that other brother?" Hanabi asks. "Kankuro, yeah? What of him?"

Hinata can't help it. Her face turns scarlet, and everyone stares at her, realizing at the exact same time.

"Kami," Tenten gasps.

"I recognize that look," Kiba says with a snicker.

Ino leans over the table, eager for the gossip, and Hinata timidly explains her unsure but developing feelings for Kankuro. His kindness is still touching her heart, and she finds that while she is glad to be back in Konoha, she also misses Suna, misses waking up to eat breakfast with everyone, misses the late nights she'd have with Kankuro as he soothed her nerves and her loneliness.

No one mentions Naruto. It's like the name doesn't exist.

They just smile, hopeful, and she can't help but hope with them.

...

Days later, she's on her way back to Suna.

She kisses her sister's cheeks and hugs her teammates and friends, and then she's off with a dozen horse-drawn wagons hauling supplies to Suna.

Three days later, upon arriving, Kankuro is there to greet her — and when she feels a sting in her heart that makes her realize just how much she missed him, Hinata thinks, perhaps, her feelings are real and worthy to be acted upon.

...

The next few months are filled with planning.

Hinata finds herself face-to-face with the cliffsides often. Because of her byakugan, she is able to see into the cliffs and mark which areas are safe for building and which hold unstable foundation, caves, and other such things that must be considered for expansion. Temari and Kankuro are busy with organizing materials and workers willing to spend their efforts on such a long project. To the relief of everyone, Suna's excitement for the expansion creates an eager crowd who would like to help the Kazekage and his team, and Hinata is often mystified by how loyal the people of Suna are to Gaara. It is not to say Konoha is any different towards Tsunade, but she is wise and powerful and old with knowledge. Lord Gaara is Hinata's age, and yet he is just as loved and as trusted as Tsunade.

He has earned their trust, that Hinata can tell.

When she's not scouting the cliffs, she is at the tower, overlooking construction plans to make sure everything stays within the guidelines Konoha had agreed to. During these times, the piano is always playing, and Gaara is at his utmost focus. Hinata can only hope to match his energy throughout their long and often tiresome meetings.

At night, even after long days of work, Hinata is still haunted by dreams of Konoha.

She wakes to a sore heart and arms that wish to hold her sister. When this happens, she sneaks to Kankuro;s room; the first three times, she had to use a map to remember where his bedroom was. After that, it's implanted in her memory, and she gives him a guilty smile as his tired eyes take in her form.

"Rough night?" he'll ask, already knowing the answer, for she would not come to his room if it weren't for her nightmares.

She only allows herself to stay no longer than thirty minutes. He comforts her kindly, sometimes distracting her, other times digging to the roots of her despair in order to help her. When she leaves, she feels refreshed, and she goes to her own bed and rests for the rest of the night without anything disturbing her.

Kankuro, she's realizing, is different from Naruto.

Naruto was friendly, and he was kind, but he did not make drastic efforts to see her, to acknowledge her.

Kankuro does. If he finds her lonely, he stays by her side; if he finds her in need of comfort, he gives it to her. He stays up late with her and never rushes her from his room, no matter how tired he may be.

He cares for her.

She . . . knows that much.

But Hinata wonders — what kind of care does he feel for her, exactly?

How far does it extend?

If he had to give it a name, what would he call it?

...

Winter is arriving by the time she's set to go back to Konoha. She packs her winter jacket and boots, which she will not wear until she's close enough to Konoha to feel the chill. Suna is still a mighty bowl of heat, though not as sweltering as it was in the summer, and she'd rather not dehydrate herself before she can even get halfway to Konoha.

Again, Kankuro is there to guide her to the gate. The joke of her getting lost easily no longer holds true, for she knows Suna quite well now, but it's become a quip between them that Hinata does not mind hearing at all. He can pretend all he wants; as long as he's the one guiding her, she will not complain.

"Two weeks?" Kankuro groans. "Two weeks without you here?"

She smiles at him. "You will miss me?"

"Of course — though I suppose my sleeping schedule will not."

Hinata has gotten good at distinguishing his mock-serious tones, so she does not hesitate to slap his shoulder, which he then meets by messing with her hair.

"Two weeks is hardly anything," she tells him. "I'll be back before you know it."

Strangely, he is quiet, and they walk three minutes in silence. When they approach the gate, the guards call for it to be opened. Hinata, used to it by now, does not wobble when the ground shakes as giant plates of stone are pulled out of her path. Still, she stands close to Kankuro, just in case she happens to fall.

"That's right," he eventually says. "Come back home soon, Hinata."

She grins, then pauses, thinking over his word choice. "Home?"

His stare is not mock-serious. It's almost stern. "This is your home, isn't it, Hinata?"

Maybe she's overthinking things, or maybe she's lost her mind, but this is different from any kind of talk or banter they've had before. This feels intimate. Genuine.

"Can it be?" she wonders out loud — a question that has stayed in her mind since she first discovered her unwavering attraction towards Kankuro that has grown and grown with every passing day of being with him.

His mouth tips as he says, "Why can't it?"

Her face grows pink. The guards shift, murmuring to each other, wondering what is taking her so long.

"Kankuro," she says, "would you make this my home if I asked you to?"

His grin is like the sun. If they were in Konoha, all snow would melt. "You needn't ask."

"Because . . . you like me —" Her words barely come out, "yes?"

He does not turn horrified like Naruto did. He does not find any reason to leave, muttering he must return to his siblings, sending her on her way to Konoha. He stands there, and he stays, and he says, "Yeah, Hinata. I like you."

Likes me.

He likes me.

When the words she's so desperately wanted to hear arise in the air, Hinata can't think of a thing to do.

Kankuro laughs, kisses her forehead, and wishes her a safe journey.

"And come back soon," he whispers. "Come back home."

...

"That's . . . a confession."

These are the words spoken by Yamanaka Ino, four days later, visiting the Hyuuga estate for tea and friendly chatter with the esteemed and famous Hyuuga sisters. Talk of Hinata's crush on the oldest sand brother has been rapidly spreading through Konoha, mostly thanks for Ino's love for gossip, and ever since Hinata's return, all she's been asked is how things have turned out with Kankuro.

When she tells her sister and friend what happened the day she left Suna, Hanabi falls over, shaken to the core, while Ino struggles to shut her gaping mouth.

"O-Oh."

"Sister, what sort of response is that!?" Finding her wind, Hanabi jumps back up, all color and sparks. "What do you plan on doing?"

Ah, the question she's asked herself all these four days. And yet, despite how much free time she's gotten, not a single answer has come to her mind.

"I'm not sure," she says, wincing at the choked gasp escaping her sister, as if she has just killed Hanabi with her own lack of common sense. "No matter how I look at it, it seems dreary."

"Dreary?" Ino snorts. "The man you're chasing after just confessed that he's into you. What is dreary about that?"

"He wants you to stay in Suna!" Hanabi adds. "He wants you to come back to him."

"Should I?"

"Yes!" Shock takes over Hanabi, and she pulls back. "Or — no. I . . ."

And thus the issue at hand arises. If Suna becomes Hinata's new home, then she'll see her friends and family even less than she does as ambassador. Hinata's not sure if she can handle that separation. If her dreams mean anything, it's her subconscious telling her that the more distance she puts herself between her and Konoha, the harder it is for her to deal with it.

They all think for a while. Ino combs a silver comb through her hair and hums.

"Perhaps that's a road meant to be walked later. Right now, you need to figure out how you will meet Kankuro's feelings."

Hinata pushes her thumbs together. "What should I do?"

"You like him, don't you?"

"Y-Yes."

"Then on the day you get back, tell him how you feel."

A horrid concoction of dread and excitement fills her belly. "But what if he rejects me?"

Ino snorts again. "Hinata, why would he reject you if he just confessed to you?"

Despite herself, a face flashes along the backs of her eyes, and Hinata murmurs, "I thought Naruto liked me, but I was wrong."

"Naruto's an idiot," Hanabi reminds her. "Kankuro put his foot time, which is more than that dumbass has ever done."

"You have to stop comparing people to Naruto." Ino's hand touches Hinata's, holding it, squeezing support and warmth into it. "There's someone out there that loves you very much, and if you aren't careful, he may slip through your fingers."

The bells in Ino's words ring true, settling the tides of doubt in Hinata's soul. She eases herself into a relaxed position and nods, agreeing. Kankuro might be that person she's been looking for all her life — she thought it was Naruto, but it wasn't — so maybe . . . maybe it's this man. This kind man who stays up late with her and kisses her goodbye at the gate.

Hinata has to try.

And she will.

Once she's back in Suna. Once she's back home.

...

Ten days later, she's shaking sand out of her shoes and readjusting to a hot winter. She was expected to arrive in the afternoon, but she rushed, and dawn has just passed through the skies by the time she sneaks into Kazekage Tower, smiling at the maids and butlers and staff that greet her. Quickly, she unpacks the few things she brought back from Konoha, and then she rushes to Kankuro's room, only to meet him halfway there in the hall.

His eyes turn wide upon sighting her, and he flings his arms out and laughs, spinning her around.

"Little pest!" he cackles. "I thought you weren't due until later today."

"I hurried," she explains, breathless, heart singing. "I hurried back to you."

"Well, good!" Kankuro drops her onto her feet, head cocked to the side when regarding her with a simper. "It's been boring without you here." His eyes flash over her shoulder, and she calls out. "Oi! Temari, look who's back!"

The clack of heels sounds through the hall as Temari approaches them. "Hinata, you're early!"

"She came back for me, you hag. Of course she's early."

Temari scoffs and elbows her brother's arm. "Cocky idiot. Careful, or you'll start sounding like her overprotective boyfriend."

Hinata thinks her heart is about to fall out of her chest. It teeters on her tongue, and then —

"Hah! No way! I'd be the overprotective brother if anything."

— it drops to the floor and shatters into dust.

...

Brother?

Brother . . . ?

But — but two weeks ago, he said — and he kissed her — and . . . she thought . . . .

"Hinata?"

Looking around, she sees Temari has left and Kankuro is shooting her a concerned look.

"You good?"

She gulps, and whispers, "Sister?"

He snickers like it's a joke and rubs at his nose. "I know, I know. Nothin' blood-related or anything, but you're like a better, cuter version of Temari — ah, but don't tell her I said that." He winks at her, then swivels his head around, as if searching for eavesdroppers. "Aaand, if I may be so bold, you might become an in-law one day."

In-law?

Blood is draining from her face. Her fingers feel cold. Her ears are numb.

"What . . . do you mean?" Hinata asks.

"Oi, don't pretend you haven't noticed." Kankuro kicks her shoe playfully. "You and Gaara get along well. That doesn't happen a lot for him, y'know? So I'm looking forward to the day when our cute ambassador and my adorable baby brother get hitched."

Gaara?

Her and Gaara?

Kankuro has been dreaming of a wedding between her and his brother — not — not her and —

"Hinata, you look pale."

When his hand comes to touch her cheek, she jumps away, stumbling, almost losing her balance. "I-I-I'm not cute!" It's impossible to hold back the tears, and she feels so ashamed when his startled eyes watch the drops fall from her eyes and onto the birch floorboards. Kami, why is this happening to her again!? "I'm not cute, a-and I'm not your sister — so please never say that to me again."

"Woah." Kankuro's hands fly up in surrender. "Hinata, if I said something that offended you —"

"I feel ill," she bites out. "Please let me rest."

With that, she turns on her heels and runs to her room, where her bags still wait for her by the door. She tries the knob, but it will not open. It's locked, and Temari has the key. Hinata doesn't want to see any of their faces, so she finds a corner of a hallway no one but staff travel through, hides herself between the fanned leaves of potted plants, and wraps herself in her own misery.

...

When Naruto left her at that restaurant, Hinata fell into the comfort of her sister's arms, where she cried and bawled and cursed him, then herself, her naivety, her pitifulness.

There is no Hanabi in Suna.

It's sand and cliffs and 'I like you's that don't really mean it in the way you want them to. There's no sister that will get angry for your sake. There's no Kiba that will eat sundaes with her in mourning. There's no Shino that will send her bath soaps that will help calm the body and the soul.

She's alone here.

Suna is not her home.

It never was.

She was a child, hopeful, but blind.

Pathetic.

...

The halls of the Hyuuga estate are dark.

Her nightmares are now that of Kankuro, kissing her tears away, only to leave her in the dunes. She wakes, shivering, and wants her sister. She crawls off the floor and tiptoes down the halls, searching, wondering.

How — How does she get to Hanabi's room again?

How could she have forgotten? Hanabi's room is practically her own room at this point. She's lived here all her life. How could she have gotten lost?

Where . . . is she?

"Ambassador?"

Was that Neji?

But he's dead. What —

"Hinata?" It's not her cousin at all, but Lord Kazekage, robes and all, in the middle of her estate. "We've worried about you. When I heard you were ill, I sent a medic to see you, but he said no one was in your —"

"I'm looking for my sister," she says. "Do you know where she is?"

Gaara pauses, assessing her. "Your sister is in Konoha."

"Yes, I —"

"This is Suna, Hinata." He touches her damp forehead, bangs sticking to the backs of his fingers. "How ill are you to think —"

"P-Please don't touch me, Lord Kazekage." Peeling his hand away from her, Hinata tries to put distance between them. If she gets too far, he takes a few, short steps closer. "I'm — I'm very sorry, and I don't know what you said to Kankuro —"

"My brother?"

"He —" Another sob gurgles in the back of her throat, and she clasps both hands against her mouth to hold it in. "Oh, Kami. He said — I was like a sister to him. A sister."

It seems to all connect for Gaara, and his concerned face falls into a sort of regret she's never seen displayed on his features before. "He said that to you?"

"Perfectly clear," she yelps. "To my face, without a care. And he was laughing!"

"That —"

"And I — I-I just want Hanabi." A terrible tremble shakes her, and Hinata hardly has the strength to stand anymore. "I want my sister. Please!"

A string of sand catches her waist, keeping her from falling. It brings her to Gaara, and he loosens his robes enough to wrap over her body, using his left shoulder as a wall to keep her upright. With a grunt, he motions for her to follow him, and she does, dazed, slowly coming to realize this is not the Hyuuga estate at all.

They come to a door, and he knocks once and waits. The woman that emerges from the room is in her mid-fifties, salt and pepper hair wiry and curled. She has a gentle smile as she regards the Kazekage. "Another tough night?"

"For both of us." His chin lowers, gesturing to Hinata. "I'm sorry to bother you."

"Please. I don't mind."

The lady disappears for a second, the reappears in a flimsy jacket that reaches her knees, wrapping it around her with a fabric belt before joining them in the hall. They scale the main stairway and journey down the hall with all the offices, arriving in the room with the grand piano in the middle. The lady goes to it as Gaara helps Hinata sit in a sofa against the wall.

"Chilla, please play The Cave Phoenix."

"Certainly, Lord Gaara."

From the black and white keys sprout a soft melody that Hinata does not hear often played in the walls of the tower — not from what she remembers, at least. But she is in no state to remember, of course. She just sits, and Gaara joins her, feet folded close as he turns to face her.

"This is a special song," he explains. "It's a Suna legend about a phoenix that was born in a cave submerged almost entirely in water. Against all odds, he survived, becoming the most powerful of beasts that is said to have made Suna its home many centuries ago." Clutching the sleeve of his robes under his fingers, Gaara swipes the drips of tears away from her chin. "We say that if you hear such a melody, you're believed to be a survivor, someone who can persevere through the worst of tragedies and live to see another day."

The song picks up, like rushing rapids, and Hinata is momentarily captured by the music.

"I'm not a survivor," she tells Gaara.

"You got through what happened with Naruto."

"Barely," she says, "and I came here to run away."

"Who says phoenixes can't run every now and then?"

He was trying to make her feel better, and just his efforts alone helped. Wiping her face with her own sleeves, Hinata gives a weak, watery smile.

"She's the pianist from Iwa."

Gaara turns to Chilla. "Yes. She's wonderfully talented."

"I heard about her from —" Kankuro is a vile name unwilling to form on her tongue. Gaara understands and nods for her to continue. "He . . . promised he'd bring me to listen to her one day."

"Should I apologize for taking up such an important occasion?" he asks.

Hinata shakes her head. "What should the Kazekage apologize for?"

Gaara frowns, crosses his legs, then uncrosses them.

"My brother is good," he starts, "but not always aware of himself. He's hurt you."

Her eyes squeeze shut. "It's not your fault."

"I feel I got your hopes up. I apologize."

"Please, don't." Hinata tries to smile. "Anymore, and it will feel like a funeral."

"I'm sorry." His tone is droned, but the cadence is almost cheeky, and it gets a laugh out of her.

"Does she play this song for you often?" she asks.

"Yes, if it's requested."

"Then doesn't that mean you're the phoenix, Gaara?"

"Good." His head tips her way. "You're back to calling me by my name." Had she called him something else before? Hinata can't recall. "Maybe we're both the phoenix. I do not mind sharing my role."

The melody sparks up, like flames and wings, heating up the air. Hinata doesn't think such a song will ever leave her. When she's back in Konoha, she will hear it in the wind, and she'll feel the touch of Suna in the sunshine drifting along her back.

...

"You have nightmares of Konoha."

It's not a question. It's as if Gaara has been the one comforting her all these nights.

"It's loneliness," she explains. "I miss my home, my sister."

"Kankuro has told me of these dreams." When he rethinks his words, he scowls, then mutters, "Sorry."

"It's okay, Gaara."

"I suppose you miss your home more than ever tonight."

It can't be a difficult conclusion to come to. He did, after all, find her in the midsts of a daydream, asking for her sister. "You're right."

"I'll see to it that you return soon."

Hinata pushes her back off the sofa. "But I've only come back today."

He nods, looking serious. "And you will come back again, of course. But Konoha is what you need, and I'd ben cruel to keep you from it."

That coldness in her fingers fades, and she feels a bit more alive, suddenly.

"Thank you."

"I know of nightmares, Hinata," Gaara says, "and I know of loneliness. I will not allow you to succumb to those terrors by yourself."

The sentiment sends another wave of tears down her cheeks, and she laughs awkwardly and tries to wipe them away. "I'm sorry. This is no way for an ambassador —"

"You're not my ambassador here," he drones. "Enough with that."

She smiles, cries a little more, and manages to dry her face before the song is up, heavy on their shoulders, comfortable, like a blanket.

...

She's back in Konoha within the week, and she stays for almost a month before Tsunade pushes for her to return to her duties. Hanabi hates for her to go, and she promises to punch Kankuro's eyes blue if she ever meets him. That gives Hinata enough strength to make the journey back.

When she arrives, she meets with Gaara first, bowing to him in his office.

"I'm back, Lord Gaara."

She smiles to tell him she's alright, that she'll do her job and do it well; he need not worry. The actions of his brother still hurt, and it will be awkward between them for some time, but she'll survive.

She's a phoenix.

And based on how his eyes light up, he sees that she is, too.

"Welcome back, Ambassador Hinata."

...

She does not go to Kankuro for her late, sleepless nights. They still come. Hinata is starting to wonder if it's more than just loneliness. Nightmares were common in her childhood, then slipped away once she grew used to the bloody lifestyle of a ninja. Loneliness was common, too, but never something that affected her sleep.

If there's a different cause, she's not sure what it is, but she doubts going to Kankuro will be any help.

Ever since her return, she tries to stay cordial and polite. His attempts at being friendly are met with a short smile and a cool tone reminding him of her duties as ambassador. Kankuro is still struck with confusion, and she does feel guilty, for it really does seem like he's lost as to how he's hurt her and why she's become so distant so suddenly. Nevertheless, Hinata doesn't have the courage to confess anything to him, and she crawls through her days in Suna, counting down the weeks until she'll go back to Konoha.

Expansion has already begun as the cliffs are being carved into.

She sends letters to Tsunade, writing about the progress of Suna's work and confirming that all materials are being used properly and in the correct quantity. Sometimes, she writes to Kurenai, letters filled with the woes of a young woman trapped in a place, in a great tower where the man that unknowingly broke her heart resides. It's pathetic things that someone who has lived through war should be able to deal with, but seeing his face hurts as much as seeing Naruto's face — not only because he got her hopes up, only to crush them; not only because he led her on, intentionally or not — but because she had a shield around her heart after Naruto, and she knew to keep it up, to protect herself, and yet she lowered it for him. She trusted him. She was a fool to trust him, and it's all her fault.

When one stays in a place where everything reminds her of her own shame, Hinata feels herself slowly being eaten away.

Maybe that is why she dreams of Konoha.

Because a village is bigger than a tower, and she can hide in her home better than she can in this tiny room. A sister is warmer than cold walls. A father that looks down on her for her every mistake is a good distraction from the bitter taste of regret and self-loathing that coats her tongue.

...

There's a single knock on her door at one in the morning, and she fears it is Kankuro.

"Hinata. Are you in?"

A bit of air washes the tense pain in her lungs. Hinata lifts from her futon, opens the door, and meets Gaara's face.

"Good . . . morning?" It is morning, after all.

"I knew you were awake." He doesn't sound angry, though she can't think of a reason why the Kazekage would be angry with her.

"How?"

"The tower feels different when someone aside from yourself is awake."

Hinata thinks it feels how it always does, but she nods just to satisfy him. "You, um, can come in if you want."

He doesn't. He stays with his shoulders stuck in the doorway, between the carved and polished planks of wood that make the frame. Hinata does not have to tip her head back to meet his eye. She does with Temari, who, while usually her height, tends to wear heels and shoes that add a few inches. She does with Kankuro, who is tall like a tree, towering over the maids, grinning impishly at them like a god from his throne. But with Gaara, it is like he is always on her level, and she does not have to strain herself to meet his gaze.

"It's undecorated," he notes. "Your room."

Hinata squeezes her hands together. "It's temporary."

"Are you a minimalist?"

"I told you. It's temporary."

Gaara eyes the open door leading into her bathroom. "You don't have a mirror."

She's gotten so used to it at this point; sometimes, she forgets that she has one in her room in Konoha, and she uses the reflection in the window pane to fix her hair before leaving. "I keep forgetting to mention it."

He analyzes the rest of her room from his spot, then gives her a serious look. "And your dreams?"

Right. He knows about them. She had nearly forgotten — or, well, maybe that's untrue. She has yet to forget that night in the piano room, where he stayed with her until it was dawn, the piano keeping them company. Instead, she had only figured he didn't care to keep up-to-date with her on such dreams; and yet, here he is, at her door.

Careful, Hinata, she tells herself. Kankuro checked, too. It means nothing.

"I still have them," she says. "I don't know how to stop them."

"Perhaps you're not supposed to," Gaara says. "Perhaps you're supposed to learn from them."

What is there to learn about Konoha? That she misses it? She knows that. Her sister is her whole world, and it's like she's in a vacuum when she's not around. She can't do much without her around, without Kiba or Shino. She has to write letters to Kurenai and pray she'll write back quickly to get a taste of that kinship she's missing so dearly that it's killing her.

What is there to learn from that?

She knows she's a pathetic, lonely girl. She knows.

"I used to dream of my father," Gaara tells her. "I'd look in a mirror, and I'd see him. I was scared I'd turn into him, that I'd rule Suna only because the people feared me, not respected me." He turns his head, looking down the hallway. Somewhere, a few halls and rooms away, there is a place where a slumbering pianist lies. "Chilla told me a different story, however."

"What did she say?" Hinata asks.

Hearing the eagerness in her tone, Gaara smirks. "That I hate myself. That I hate myself as much as I hated my father, and that I believed I'd betray Suna the same way he did — by sacrificing something precious for a demented dream."

"Oh, Gaara —"

"I was not scared I would turn into him. I thought I already had, and it was killing me."

She understands that pain to her core, and she wants to grab him, to shake that pain out of his body; maybe, if she did, if she was able to take his pain and crush it under her foot, she'd see she would be able to do the same for herself.

"Do you still?" Her question is low to the ground, like a mouse, starved and searching. "Do you still hate yourself?"

He takes a moment to think. She can almost see the hands of his conscious scooping his soul out of his chest to inspect it carefully. "No," is his final, hushed answer. "Once you find the true issue to your problems, Hinata, it's easier to fix them."

Considering, soaking in his words, Hinata nods. "I will try."

"And you will succeed," Gaara pushes. "Because you are a phoenix."

That again. It almost makes her weep, and she's not sure why. "And Suna is my cave."

He cocks his head, arms folded. "Is it? I think it's something else."

And the way he looks at her spells out a totally different answer. If she is a phoenix, her wings of fire are not being threatened by the crashing waves of Suna. Not by Kankuro, not by loneliness.

His eyes spell, You.

And she wonders.

And she thinks.

And she assesses.

...

The next morning, Gaara suddenly and speedily rushes her back to Konoha, only with a scroll in her possession and a vague "You'll understand when you get there."

Konoha is still cold, and Hinata fights off the chill in her bones as she's on her way to Tsunade's office. She hears talking inside, waits in the hall, and bows when Maito Gai and Rock Lee leave the room. They greet her in their usual cheerfulness, Lee hoping she'll stay long enough to join him for a work-out session followed by a five-in-the-morning breakfast, and Hinata smiles and nods and waves them off before seeing Tsunade inside, already guzzling a bottle of booze.

"Welcome, Ambassador Hinata." Slamming the bottle down, Tsuande wipes fatigue from her eyes before regarding her. "You're back soon. Has something happened?"

"Lord Kazekage wanted me to give this to you personally." She places the scroll on the desk for Tsunade to take into her hands. "From the little he told me, it seems urgent."

Curious, Tsunade breaks the seal with ease before unrolling the scroll. The longer her eyes scan the words written, the more they widen, until they're about to pop out of her skull.

"Hell!" It's a loud, boisterous cry, followed by laughter. "That bastard — always ahead of the curve."

Have they been bested somehow? Hinata takes another step closer. "What has —"

"Shizune! Look what that freak has promised us." Shizune comes running in, a rag in hand, as she seems to be in the middle of cleaning shot glasses. "Here. Read this. Damn, what a day we've had."

Shizune reads the scroll, then re-reads it, her expression matching the Hokage's.

"All of it?" she asks.

Tsuande falls back in her chair, snorting. "Everything. Curriculum. Regulations. Hell, he's even got a list of recommended staff that he'll send over from Suna."

Hinata looks back and forth between the two, confused. "I — am I not allowed to know what's being discussed in this scroll?"

They look at each other. "He did not tell you?" Shizune asks.

"Kami. The quiet hero. Gaara needs a new role in life, 'cause I'm sick of him bein' such a goody-two-shoes." Tsunade slams the scroll on the desk and waves Hinata over. "Let me explain. As you know, we made a particular deal with Suna in regards to payment for the material we sent over for their expansion plans."

"Yes." Both Suna and Konoha are wealthy enough, so they had settled on something beyond money for payment. "I'm aware."

"Well, Lord Gaara has just sent us a promise to share detailed information about the best orphanage foundation in all the great, hidden villages." Tsunade bends her neck forward to catch Hinata's eye. "The very foundation he created."

It's well known that Konoha's orphanage system has been lackluster, especially when the war ended and left many broken families and children without parents or guardians. Tsunade, while doing her best, was unable to put much work into bettering the system since most of her time and resources were spent on rebuilding Konoha and their hospital and healthcare systems. If Gaara has promised to share vital information and resources with Konoha to better their systems, than he has promised to give them the best staff, material, and foundation from his own village, known worldwide for their fantastic orphanage and foster care systems that he built from the ground up since his appointmentship as Hokage.

"It also says," Tsunade adds, "that you'll be in charge of overlooking the staff and seeing that they're properly prepared for their new life and work in Konoha."

Her?

But why —

"We must send him a letter of acceptance at once!" Shizune gathers all glasses and bottles and shoves them to the side. "I'll bring you your stamp, Lady Hokage."

In a blur, a letter is written up, sealed, and shoved into Hinata's hands.

"I'm sorry to rush you," Tsuande says, "but this is a big priority to Konoha."

Nodding, Hinata is off, through the gates before she stays too long and talks herself into searching for her teammates, her sister, her teacher.

...

She thinks long and hard those three days of journey, and when she returns to Suna, at Gaara's desk, she says, "I know why you sent me."

He is perfectly straight in his chair, cloaked in his robes, and nudges his shoulder for her to continue.

"You expected me to say no," she says. "You thought I'd deny such a task and stay in Konoha."

His face does not move, does not change. She wishes it would. She wishes he'd show her something.

"Try again."

"What?"

"Try again," he repeats. "You're wrong, so try again."

Is she? Why else would he send her off so suddenly, without telling her a single thing. "I . . . don't know."

Gaara stands, and for some reason, he looms. He's not on her level. He's towering. "Have you met Uchiha Sasuke before?"

S-Sasuke? Why is he . . . ?

"I have," Gaara continues. "He had the pride the size of a mountain when I met him. If I had given him such a task, he would not come to me afterwards and think I was trying to get rid of him, that I expected him to back out of the mission." A mirage of clouds and fog fills his gaze, and then he lowers himself a bit, looking more founded and less like he was about to shoot off into the sky. "Though, I suppose the rumors say he's half-dragon and not exactly half-phoenix."

Struggling to keep up, Hinata asks, "You . . . want me to act more like Uchiha Sasuke?"

"I want you to leave my office, come back, and tell me you'll do the job better than anyone else can."

"B-But I —"

"This is what your dreams are trying to tell you, Hinata." He makes her name sound like a mother scolding her, and she's both impressed and startled. "Your self-confidence is nothing. Your pride is in ruins. You're dreaming of Konoha because everyone there nurtured you during your first heartbreak, and you feel like a failure because you can't pick yourself up without them."

Is . . . that true?

Well, of course what he's saying is true. Konoha helped her. Her sister is always on her side. Kiba and Shino protect her like they're her brothers. Kurenai answers all her questions without forcing her to find the answers herself — because it's easier, and it's safer, and she wants to help as quickly as she can, even if the help is only temporary. Hinata has grown stronger over the years, and most of it has been due to her own efforts — but if she never had her team, if she never had Naruto as a symbol of strength, of hope, would she have ever picked herself up by the bootstraps and done things herself? Would she have proven herself to her clan?

No.

Hinata has always relied on people if problems have ever come her way.

"I'm useless without them."

Gaara scowls. "Are you?'

"Aren't I?"

He turns and flings back the curtains. Light pours over them, and in the distance, there are the cliffs, slowly being shaped, carved, made into something new.

"The reason I gave you the role of overlooking my staff," he says, "is because you looked at those cliffs and sketched those buildings and made the very foundations of a new Suna — all in just a handful of weeks. Ambassadors aren't supposed to do those things —"

"Oh! I'm sorry."

"I'm complimenting you, Hinata." He turns to her, and his face is shadowed as sunlight beams in from behind — but still, she can see his face perfectly. "I'm saying I trust you, and that I think you can do this."

Trust, she understands, is earned. She is not sure how easily Gaara's trust can be earned, but she has it, and she would be a fool to ruin it.

Hinata turns on her heels, leaves, shutting the door behind her, and breathes. She inhales and exhales, and then she's pushing that door open again, and she marches up to his desk and slams her hands on the table and states, "I'm doing this job, and I'm doing it better than anyone else in the world."

The beginnings of a smile are on his face. "Good, though the desk slamming was a bit much."

"Should I try again?"

"Go ahead."

So Hinata exits, re-enters, hands planted on her hips. "Lord Gaara, you'd be lost without me."

"You're right." He wipes at his mouth, eyes turned to the right of the room. "But you can't just say that to the Kazekage. Again."

...

Hinata tries about six more times until she's exhausted herself, and Gaara, satisfied, lets her relax in his chair.

...

"If you didn't expect me to stay in Konoha," she says, "then why did you rush me to deliver such a thing to Tsunade?"

Leaning against his desk, documents in his hands, Gaara takes a momentary glance away from his readings. "You haven't gone to your room, I take it."

"My room?"

His expression is expectant, so she stands and trots down the stairs and swishes down the hallway, plugs the lock with her key, turns it until there's a click, and then she's inside. Nothing is out of the ordinary. The walls aren't suddenly pink, and there's no strange posters or things hanging from the ceiling.

It takes her a second, but then Hinata sees it.

A mirror — hanging over the bathroom sink, lined with whirling gold and flawless glass.

"I know it's temporary," Gaara says from behind, "but that doesn't mean . . . ."

He trails off, and he doesn't start up again. Hinata turns to him. "Doesn't mean what?"

He shakes his head. "I'm actually not sure what I was going to say."

She grins, thanks him, and he reminds her that dinner is soon before leaving her to inspect her new mirror more closely.

...

Hinata sleeps well through most of the night, waking to the crack of dawn at the stir of a Konoha dream. She did not think they would just magically disappear, but it's not as monstrous as the previous ones are, and she's glad to think she's on the road to recovery and a restful night of sleep.

The piano is singing through the tower when she leaves her room, feet protected by slippers.

It's a slow, unsure melody, and she finds it is not Chilla at the grand, white piano, but Gaara. He stands, bench moved to the side, and he moves his fingers stiffly along the keys.

"I'm not very good," he tells her, not looking away, but undoubtedly noticing her.

"Not many are when compared to Chilla, I imagine."

She comes to his side, at first nervous that she might be disturbing him; his cool face does not show any hints of annoyance, however, so she stays.

"Can you play the song?" she asks.

He doesn't need her to explain more. They both know what she's referring to.

"I know a small part in the middle." His hands drift to a different section of keys. "I fear I'd give Chilla a heart attack if she heard how I played."

Hinata thinks it's nothing short of wonderful as she stands idly by, listening, drifting with the song.

The low beats hit the walls. The cool of the night wafts between them.

He pauses, starts, pauses again, then starts again. And he asks, "Why did you fall in love with my brother?"

Her chest stings, but it's more like a sewing needle and less like a poisoned senbon. "I don't think many people know why they . . . um, fall for someone."

"Is that so?" He thinks, plays a few more notes, then tries again. "What was it about him that you liked?"

Her fingertips press together, joints flexing, pushing, then ebbing. "He was always around," she says, "and he paid attention to me. Remembered things. He woke up no matter how early it was when I needed him." Her lips bite together as a dash of embarrassment warms her ears. "And he's handsome, and he's charismatic, and . . . I thought he liked me."

They both know how wrong she was about that.

Gaara winces when he messes up a part. "What made you . . . ."

He doesn't have to finish that question.

She knows.

What made you first fall for him?

Thinking back, she expected pain, and it's there. A throbbing pain, like a bruise, but it is not a stab, and knife in her lungs.

"His smile," she whispers. "Him, and Naruto — I think . . . it's always the smile."

The music stops. The piano goes quiet.

Gaara drinks in her words, turning, pondering.

The gray of morning filters into the room. Cold turns tepid, lukewarm.

Gaara's crimson hair is dulled, but his eyes are stunning as he looks at her and —

"I understand."

— and smiles.

...

That . . . doesn't mean anything.

Right?

Of course not.

Why would it?

She's imagining things.

...

Hinata wants to soak in as much of Suna's orphanage system as she can before bringing it over to Konoha.

With a list of staff members full of all the people who agreed to go over to Konoha, either temporarily to train or permanently, Hinata has been busy meeting them and taking the time to thoroughly understand their positions. Some are caretakers, others are teachers at the orphanages; there are child therapists and specialists and financial advisors; people in charge of foster home information and inspections; organizers of meetings for potential adopters, meal-planners, trauma specialists; there are more people on the team than Hinata realized, and every day she spends with them, the more she realizes what kind of paradise Gaara has put sweat and blood into building.

Today, she's touring the orphanage, seeing how everything is set up and writing down notes that she'd like to present to Tsunade soon.

The children make her think of the Academy she went to in Konoha. She sees future Yamanaka Inos and Haruno Sakura and Akimichi Chojis. They brighten up when the adults are around, and they do not shy away from strangers like they're something to be feared, to hate. They are carefully curious, and Hinata tries her best to be warm when interacting with them, joining them in their games and listening to their stories.

When there's a shout of something she cannot make out, all the children jump away from what they're doing and run out into the yard.

"Don't worry," her tour guide tells her, perhaps seeing the concern on her face. "This happens when the Kazekage comes to visit."

She looks out the door and sees that Gaara is, indeed, there, surrounded in a pit of children. The little ones cling to his knees as the taller teenagers wait by the sidelines, grinning, shouting over the cacophony.

Gaara looks like he belongs there, surrounded by children who love him dearly.

"I suppose he visits often," Hinata says.

"Yes. He wants them to know the Kazekage is always thinking of them."

And it's clear he does.

At that moment, Hinata cannot think of anyone better than Lord Gaara to be the ruler of Suna.

...

They eat with them in their cafeteria.

Hinata and Gaara have to sandwich their legs to fit under the small table, and the children eat happily around them.

A few of the adults making rounds of the place remind children to use proper manners, and Hinata tries to help when she is able, reminding the one around her to not speak with full mouths and to cover their laps with napkins.

Gaara, helping one hold their chopsticks properly, snorts. "You look like you belong here, Hinata."

A boy, perhaps around fourteen, speaks up before she can. "Mrs. Hinata is really good with manners, Gaara. She helped Lili with saying please and thank you earlier."

"It is 'Miss', Ren. Hinata is not married."

"Not yet!" the girl, Lili, pipes.

Hinata laughs and nods along, letting the children believe what they'd like.

There's nothing wrong with daydreaming, she supposes.

...

They leave together, traversing back to Kazekage Tower. Finding dried paints and food stains all over herself, she tries her best to wipe off as much as she can.

"Don't worry about it," Gaara tells her. "You'll be able to wash it once we get to the tower."

"I hate to look like a mess." If villagers saw Konoha's Ambassador in such a state, they'd think her messy and helpless for sure!

"You're not," he drones, looking at her. "You're cute."

The skip of her heart is a familiar and scary thing. She grabs her rushing emotions in a chokehold before they can run amuck.

"Maybe you don't understand," she says, slowly, "but usually, when you say something like that, it means you're flirting."

Gaara squints through the harsh sunlight. "Is it flirting if I am stating the truth?"

She smiles, small, but genuine. "Usually flirting is the truth."

"Then how does one distinguish flirting from a truthful compliment?"

Hinata thinks, but she can't come up with an answer. "Just be careful," she says. "You might give people the wrong idea."

"Is that what you got?" he asks. "The wrong idea?"

Her resolve wavers, her hold slips, and a whirlwind of confusion and fear and so much more bulldozes through her system. Her hands clench, and she tries to keep herself from shaking. "I'm trying not to. You're sweet to me because you're —" Because he's what? Her friend? Is that what she considers him? Hinata's not so sure. "Because you're a good person, and you're kind to everyone."

"Thank you," he says. "Is that a truthful compliment or a flirt?"

She hacks, "I'm not flirting!"

His head tips back to look at the roof of his tower. The brim of his hat slips back, and his eyes turn bright in the sunlight.

"Oh."

Oh?

Is that all he has to say?

"I'll see you tomorrow, Hinata."

Gaara slips into the tower and up the stairs, disappearing into his office.

Hinata thinks, maybe, he sounded disappointed.

But that's the sort of thinking that got her into the same mess with Naruto and Kankuro, so she tries not to think about it.

...

It's 12:01 am, technically tomorrow, when he knocks on her bedroom door.

"Do you want children?" he asks, out of the blue, but sounding like it's the usual type of conversation they'd have.

Hinata has the mind to tell him that's the sort of question one would read as flirting, but that might go down a road she's not ready to go down, so she says, "Maybe. Um, I think so." She pauses, but he does not say anything. He just stares at her. "Do . . . you?"

He thinks like it's a puzzle, turning the pieces until they click. "I don't know."

"You're good with them at the orphanage," she notes. "Would you ever want to adopt?"

"I don't know." It's the same answer, but it comes out slow, like he's actively considering the option.

Cold air sweeps along her legs, and Hinata how long the Kazekage plans to stay at her bedroom door. "Gaara, why did you come to ask me about children?

Why did I ask that?

What answer do I want to hear?

Her anxiety spikes up, and she's trying to think of a way to backtrack when he answers.

"I dreamt about it."

What?

"I dreamt of you with children," he continues. "I felt I should ask you about it, so I did."

What should she do about this situation? Her heart is beating wildly, but her brain is tucked away, nervous.

"You're . . . dreaming about me?"

He blinks, then realizes all he's said. His shoulders fall, and he frowns. "I apologize —"

"Why?" Her hand twists against the knob. Suddenly, she has the urge to slam this door into his face. "Why is it so bad to dream of me?"

"Bad?"

"A-Am I that unworthy to even dream about?"

Slow down, Hinata. That's not what Gaara said at all; he didn't even allude to it.

"No," he says. "I just felt I should apologize, but it's not a bad thing." He shifts from leg to leg, almost stepping inside, then stopping. "I like it when I do."

Her face feels like summertime. She presses her palms against her eyes. "Gaara, don't say that. It sounds like you're flirting with me."

There is no retort. No comeback. No question of what is flirting and what isn't. When she peeks through her fingers, she sees that he is staring at her intently, like everything stuck in his brain, unable to leave his mouth, is trying to manifest in the very air between them.

No remarks.

No denial.

Gaara puts it in her head that — maybe — somehow — he's flirting with her, and then he wishes her a quiet good night and leaves her in her room, where she collapses on her futon, trembling, warm.

And she —

And Hinata, that night, dreams of Gaara.

...

He is the same as Kankuro and Naruto, her mind tries to tell her. He will shower her in hope, and then he will crush them.

. . . Gaara is not the type to crush things, to hurt her.

Nor was Naruto, but he did it.

. . . But . . . Gaara might actually like her.

Hah. She thought the same about Kankuro, and look what that got her.

The more she thinks about it, the more Hinata thinks she should just act like his helpful ambassador from now on. She's off to leave Konoha soon, where she'll stay for a while, helping the Suna staff adjust, making sure they're properly cared for before returning to Suna. Just a few more days, and then she can take a break. She can steel her resolve and remind herself that falling for the same tricks will only hurt her more.

She does not want to be hurt again.

It takes her a moment to prepare herself to face Gaara. She pretends she must clean up her already tidy home, then she takes up any task she can think of, practically begging the staff to let her help them. When there's nothing left in the tower, she creeps up that staircase, reminds herself to stay strong, and opens the door.

Well, she tries to.

Actually, it slams open, a furious Kankuro stomping out. He looks at her, and he stops, face dropping, and he tries to say something. Nothing but a strangled wheeze of air leaves him, and he gives up, turns, and is gone before she knows it. Hinata's right foot gently steps into Gaara's office first, taking caution of the state of the Kazkegae inside. He's bent over his desk, but his anger does not reflect that of his brother. It's a mere twist to his lips, and Hinata taps her knuckles against the frame.

"Gaara?"

His eyes flash up, then flash down. "Please come in."

She does, following the silent demand to shut the door behind her, and stays close to the exit in case he changes his find.

"A fight?" she asks. It's none of her business, but whether or not she wants kids wasn't his business, either, so they're beyond that point in their relationship — whatever it is, whatever it's evolving to be.

Instead of answering, he rounds the desk so she can see all of him and says, "I owe you an apology."

"An apology?" For what? He hasn't done anything to her, has he?

Unless . . .

Unless it's about last night.

Unless he's realized he's doing to her exactly what Kankuro did — making her believe in something that's not there.

I knew it, her mind cried. Every time!

"I believe I'm the reason Kankuro saw you as nothing more than a sister."

That's . . . not what she was expecting to hear. "Please explain."

His head lifts, and his hair is in his face, and he looks almost sick. For a man who makes sure to always look professional and put-together, this is not a side she sees often from him. "He realized even before I did, and that — that's what he focused on. There's no telling if he would have ever seen you in the way you want him to, but — but he thought of you as off-limits. If he hadn't, then maybe —"

"I don't understand, Gaara."

"He knows how I feel about you." Those words, like kunai, puncture her skin. "He knows now, and he knew then."

There's no way this is happening.

It's a kiss at the gate. It means nothing. She's misreading things.

"Gaara," she says, gently, "you — you have to explain what sort of feelings, or I'll —"

"I like you."

. . . Like me?

No — careful, Hinata. Kankuro said the same thing.

"Like . . . how?" she asks. "What kind of like?"

Gaara looks at her like she's speaking a language he can only pick up a few words in. He tries to fill in the gaps, but it's a messy process, and he's not sure if he understands well. His palms hang on the edge of his desk, and he ponders hard, considering something deep inside him that she cannot reach.

"I don't see you as a sister," he says. "You'll never be a sister to me."

Yes! her heart screams.

Her mind hushes it, skeptical. "Like a friend?"

"You are my friend," he agrees, then bows his chin, looking lopsided and a bit frustrated. "I think I'm trying to confess to you."

No.

No way.

There's no way Gaara — the Kazekage — would ever —

"I think y-you're confused." Hinata has to try with all her might to not stutter, to not let her vocal cords stumble with every jab to her lungs and fatal dose of fake hope to her heart. "You don't like me, Gaara. Not like that."

"Has Kankuro and Naruto hurt you so much that you can't trust even the words of someone who is not them?"

She flinches. "You don't understand."

"Yes, I do," he states, in that Kazekage tone that demands respect, to be heard. "They broke your trust. It's understandable. But do not tell me what I do or do not feel, Hinata, because you don't know."

Her guilt could crush her. Hinata wants it to. It would save the both of them a lot of pain.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"It's alright." His tone is back to gentle and quiet, like piano. "I understand not believing me, as well. Love is not something I've understood for a while." He taps his forehead, where a red tattoo shows the truth in his words. "But I am grateful to Suna for teaching me for kinship, and I am grateful to Naruto and Lee for showing me friendship, and I am grateful to you for helping me find an entirely different kind of love."

...

Sat on his desk, arms crossed, Gaara gives her an expectant look. He waits as the silence after his confession stretches, and when she does not say a word, he tries to smile.

"Please reject me."

Reject him?

Out of all the things swarming in her head, that was not one of them. It should be.

It really should be.

"Hinata?" he prompts.

Her hands squeeze so hard together that the skin turns white, and she gathers her wits and asks, "Have you ever met Uchiha Sasuke?"

Gaara hums. "Yes, I told —"

"He has a lot of pride," she says. "If he came here and confessed to me, he would not expect me to reject him." When she finds the courage, Hinata finds that Gaara is leaning forward, almost completely off the desk. There's a hopeful shine to his eyes that makes her think of herself — a Hyuuga Hinata with a fragile heart that needs to be carefully loved and nurtured. "Leave, then come back, and try again."

Turns out, pretty smiles run in the family. He skips the leaving part and stands before her, straight and proud, towering, but still on her level.

"Hinata, I think I'm confessing —"

"Think?"

"I am confessing to you," he corrects. "I like you. In the romantic sense."

She matches his smile — something nervous and unsure and awkward, but willing to try. "I'm new to these things, um, and I'm unsure in myself often. But — I trust you." She bows low. "Please take care of me."

And he says he will, because people who love people take care of them

And Hinata —

She believes him.

...

The day she leaves for Konoha, Gaara has Chilla play 'The Cave Phoenix' with all the doors open so that it may fill in every room in the tower.

They listen quietly in his office, overlooking the small crowd growing by the main gate. Soon, she will have to leave, checking that everyone has arrived and is bringing all that they need before guiding them to Konoha, through dunes that turn into forest, leading them into the great Hidden Leaf Village.

Soon, she will have to leave.

But not yet.

She stays a moment longer in Gaara's office, the sparks of fire turning the piano into a beast with wings and ash. It soars, and it survives.

Gaara tells her she'll be gone for a while. He will be busy, and so will she, and time will slip by before they know it.

Hinata thinks she'll be okay in Konoha. It's her home.

She thinks she'll miss Gaara some, but she'll handle it like she handles being away from Hanabi.

But she stays a moment more.

Her fingers tug on his sleeve when she stands, and he watches her disappear around the doorway, and he watches her make her way down the streets, where she joins that growing, expanding crowd.

In the distance, there's great progress to the cliffs.

Gaara doesn't take notice at all.

...

For a month, she's in Konoha. Running around, checking things, doing errands, training and hanging out with her friends when she has time. Sometimes, she wakes up and expects sand to be on the floor for her to sweep.

There is none.

Of course.

There's gravel and dirt in Konoha, but no sand.

...

A month.

Thirty-one days.

She counts every single one of them, checks them off on her calendar before she leaves in the morning, double-checking it before she sleeps.

Sometimes, she dreams of Gaara.

Sometimes.

He's at the gate, waiting for her. He doesn't have a calendar, so he stops by every day to see if she's arrived.

...

The people of Suna adjust nicely. Ino and Sakura come by and volunteer often, helping with this or that, acting as tour guides for those still unused to Konoha.

The children look happier.

Everyone does.

When they share dinner together, they ask her about Kankuro, about how it's been, if it's gotten any better. She assured them it's still awkward, but not at a painful level, and that she's surviving.

When they ask about Gaara, she only says that he's a kind Kazekage that trusts her — sometimes more than she trusts himself. Ino jokes that he'd be a much better romantic candidate that Kankuro, and Hinata stirs sugar into her lemonade and says nothing about it.

...

She goes to his office first.

She almost leaps up the stairs, and she doesn't even think to knock on the door. She just enters, and he's there, waiting for her in his seat. He stares, then sighs, then drops his head onto his desk like he hasn't slept in weeks and has just now collapsed.

"Gaara?"

Hinata rushes over, but he lifts a hand, halting her.

"I'm okay," he murmurs, "I just didn't imagine love would be so wonderful, yet so miserable."

Her heart rattles. "I make you miserable?"

Realizing the meaning behind his words, Gaara's head snaps up. "Miserable without you," he corrects. "Wonderful in any other circumstance."

Relaxing, smiling, Hinata tells him she hasn't eaten at all, and he stands and joins her, walking with her to the dining room, where food is already waiting for them.

...

When Nara Shikamaru comes to visit Suna, he almost stays in the vacant room next Hinata's — until Temari assures everyone that he'll be happily staying in her room, and Kankuro gets a disgusted look on her face that does not go away for some time.

They share dinner together, and the awkwardness drains from conversation slowly. Hinata can tell Gaara and Kankuro trust Shikamaru with their sister's happiness, and they pick at him and treat them like he's their brother. It feels like a large family, and Hinata's happy, and she wonders if she'll ever be a part of it.

Not that she —

Not that she's expecting anything.

When Shikamaru gives the news that Gai will be appointed Hokage soon, and that it will be happening in four days, the invitation is clear to Hinata. Surely, she could go to celebrate the coming of a new Hokage, but she has just come back from there — and it's not so much that exhaustion is keeping her from immediately accepting Shikamaru's invitation, but rather that of something else.

She tells him she'll think about it, and they move on to another topic.

...

"Should I stay with you?" Gaara asks.

They're in their normal spot where she's in her room and he's looming outside of it, tempted to step in, but never doing so. Her face and her neck turn pink, and she shakes her head.

"You're the Kazekage. If anything, I should go —" Wait. Woah. Hold on. "I-I mean — I don't think that's something that needs to happen right now."

He doesn't get the look of disappointment or a dog kicked to the side. He just nods and smiles.

"I have never shared a bed with someone," he says. "Not even with my siblings."

"M-Maybe one day it will happen."

"I am patient." He says that, but his eyes pinch, and he frowns in a thought. "Will you go see Maito Gai's inauguration?"

She's . . . still unsure. "Maybe."

"Go if you wish to. I can deal with being miserable for a while longer."

She breathes a laugh and pats his chest, and he grins and looks dashing and makes her rethink that whole 'sharing a bed' thing.

...

The morning when they're set to leave for Konoha, Hinata knocks on Temari's door, preparing herself for whatever she may see or whatever she may hear. Thankfully, when opening the door, Shikamaru looks presentable — his shirt is backwards, but Hinata keeps that to herself.

"I think I'll be staying," she tells him, "but please congratulate Gai for me."

Still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, cursing Gaara's name for the sleeping sand caught in the corners, he nods.

"Is it a secret?"

"Secret?"

Then, Shikamaru yawns and stretches his arms over his head. "The thing between you and Gaara."

Ah. Temari must have told him — or, most likely, he found out the second he stepped into Suna.

"I . . . don't think so."

"It's just that — these things would be rampaging around if it weren't," he notes. "Your thing with Kankuro still is in Konoha."

"W-We never had a thing!"

"So I'm just wondering." Shikamaru offers a lopsided smile that she's sure Temari enjoys often. "Not that it's any of my business."

"Maybe it is. Maybe we'll be siblings-in-law — oh!" Her hands cup her mouth as she blushes red. "I-I'm sorry. That's inappropriate of me to say."

Shikamaru just laughs and throws her bangs back, murmuring that she can make it up to him by walking him and Temari to the gate.

...

"Oh."

This is Gaara's only word spoken for a while upon her return from the gate, followed by a shocked look.

Then, eventually, he says, "I thought you had left."

Hinata smiles and comes further into his office. "No. I wasn't ready to leave Suna just yet."

This a dancing hiss, then a ribbon of sand lifts her by her waist and legs, bringing her to him. He meets her halfway in two, long strides, and then he takes her face in his hands, leans her down, and kisses her.

His . . . lips are dry, and his teeth click against hers, but Hinata likes it.

"I'm glad." His words hit her mouth before he pulls away, lowering her to the ground before waving his sand away.

His hands stay on her face, just holding her, and she basks in his warmth.

...

Her second kiss blooms from temptation.

Touching Gaara is something she gets used to over the weeks. Her first few days are timid touches — brushing knuckles, tapping feet, brushing dust and sand from hair. They turn into holding shoulders, then arms, then hands; hands that enclose around her own and make her feel small, but now weak. Protected, but not helpless.

She's learned the luxury of tracing her fingers along his face and kissing his palms and holding him in her arms.

Hinata thinks holding Gaara is the best thing in the world; and he must agree, for holds her just as dearly, capturing her against him. Exhaust slinks from his body, tension eases from his muscles, and he relaxes against her.

These are normal touches. Turning bold, but still gentle, and still a little nervous.

In August, Gaara thinks that holding her face in his hands like he often does is a pleasantry that he would like to expand upon like he has once before. When she feels his thumb against the corner of her mouth, the flapping wings of desire are found in the greens and blues of his eyes, and Hinata prompts her mouth to him, daring.

And Gaara, brave Kazekage, dares.

And this kiss is hot like the desert. This is something Hinata might read in a book and bury her face in the sheets of her bed, red, feet curling. This is a tad of teeth scraping and a swipe of tongue, and then she on her back on his desk, and he's over her, and he's looking at her neck like he would her mouth —

He leans forward, his hips press into her, and then he freezes.

"Gaara?"

Like that, he's off of her, looking as confused as she feels.

"Did I hurt you?" she asks, noting the redness to his lips.

He shakes his head. "No. I'm alright, I think."

"You think?"

"I'm not really sure how to explain it."

She thinks she might have a good idea what's going on in his head based on the desire still darkening his eyes and the notable flush to his face that cannot simply be blamed on the heat.

"You don't have to," Hinata says. "It's okay."

She runs her fingers through his hair, taming the unruliness, patting down the sides as best she can before bending down to hand him his hat. He smiles when she adjusts it on his head, then takes his hands to kiss them.

"Did I scare you?" she asks.

He considers this seriously like he considers anything. If Hinata didn't like this quirk, she probably wouldn't have fallen in love with him "I don't think so."

Again, with that word. "Think?"

"Maybe I scared myself."

It's not everyday that the great Kazekage looks feeble, but Hinata is not the kind to judge fear of the unknown. Her right hand touches his chest, feels the push of his heart on her palm, and says, "My cousin was able to stop a man's heart in six seconds."

Gaara, bless him, looks more intrigued than terrified by this information. "Really?"

"I was able to cut that time in half last year."

"Really?"

She pats his chest and grins a bit cheekily. "You don't have to worry about hurting me. I'd stop you if I thought you would." Her free hand taps the desk behind her. "Notice how my hands were nowhere near stopping you when you kissed me?"

Her tone is playful, sure to make him aware that she's teasing him. Gaara holds her hands together, warming them up despite already being hot. "I'm glad."

Somehow, his tone tells of a second meaning, and she's the one to take his face in her hands now.

"I don't think you'll hurt me, Gaara."

He just holds her hands to him, resting against them. It's like he's worshiping them, their power, their ability to end a life and love a man without hesitation.

---

Uchiha Sasuke mouths the name of the secret, third heartbreaker of Hyuuga Hinata.

It's a name he knows, but rarely has the opportunity to say. A name he would have never linked to her if she hadn't told him with her own mouth that, all those months ago, she was in a relationship with him.

"You're the first person I've ever told," Hinata says against the collar of his shirt. Halfway through her story, she wobbled in the heaviness of it all, and he took her in and became her wall, her cane. She stays there and shivers, sometimes. "Shikamaru knows. He's the only one."

A secret.

Sasuke has been introduced to his fair share of them, but none of them hardly meet this scale.

"Why have you told no one?" he asks, because he has to — because she's told him everything except for what happened that caused her and Gaara to split.

She pushes into him, then away from him. "Because if everyone knew why I was abandoned, there would be no point to it in the first place."

Abandoned is a disgusting, heavy word that makes him tear his fingers into the fabric cushion. "Isn't that the point? To not give him what he wants?"

Her eyes look hollow, unaffected, and he realizes his anger has no place here. It's hard to swallow, but he tries. Sasuke tries.

"It would kill me," she murmurs. "I-If everyone knew, the shame would kill me."

Hinata hiccups, chokes on a sob, then bites her lips together as tears pour from her face. Sasuke tries his best to dry them. He feels like his hands are small, like that of a kid's, and he can hardly dry them all before more come falling. But he tries, and he combs her hair back with his fingers and rests his forehead against hers.

"Do you know why I know you're going to Suna?"

She shakes her head.

"Because Shikamaru told me," he says. "He's going to make Gai agree to let me come with you."

The tears trapped in her eyes make them glow. They're bitten and red, and they're glossy, but they're beautiful, and they're staring into him.

"You're coming with me?" she asks in a faint breath.

His hand captures her face to make her see that he's serious, that even if people have abandoned her before, he never will. If the Hokage does not agree to Shikamaru's request, then he'll go rogue. He'll leave Konoha. If they follow him, they'll have to track him all the way to Suna.

"I'm coming with you," Sasuke confirms, "and if the shame does not kill him, then I will."