90. Diving

Had it not been for the patronus, I would have found myself blind in the otherwise total blackness. The blue light eerily illuminated the water for a short distance in every direction, but whatever lay beyond that orb of safety was completely unknown.

My Gryffindor courage wilted in the cold. The lake surface was so far away, and anything might emerge from the depths.

As I struggled deeper and deeper, the weight of the water on my lungs made it harder and harder to breathe. One of the spells I'd cast before the dive was helping my body to resist the growing pressure, but only just enough. The strengthening potions Poppy had given me were still in effect, but my muscles had to fight to swim through the dense water. I had to maintain constant focus on the magic keeping me warm and able to breathe. If my strength faltered and my protection fell away…

I moved slowly, my heart throbbing inside my chest. The only sound was that of my own breath, even the push of my arms through the water inaudible at this great depth.

My hair dragged through the water and furled in front of my eyes every time I paused to regather my strength, its whiteness still a shock to me.

Nothing compared to this cold, this weight, this emptiness. Darker than the darkest night. Darker than any place on earth.

The blue raven was the only thing reminding me that the surface existed. That I'd not died, or fallen into a very dark and lonely dream.

I swam all the way down.

It was impossible to know how near I was to the bottom, and fear curdled in my belly from the growing suspicion that the water might never end.

Then the raven's light illuminated jagged rocks, sticking up from the bottom of the lake like small black mountains. I touched the freezing stone, glad to feel something substantial after the emptiness of the water. I paused, holding onto the rock as though a current might come along and sweep me away.

My ears ached, and I worked my jaw until some of the pressure was relieved. I tried looking up, hoping to make out the slightest bit of light from the surface. But it was impossible. I was completely separate from that world. The earth could have been shaken by thunder and I wouldn't have known.

I couldn't be sure how long it would take to locate the stone, and didn't know how long it was safe for me to remain so deep, even with the protection of the spells. My wand dragging through the water with difficulty, I tried in vain to summon the stone. I wished my wand might sense its magic somehow and point me in its direction. But from the wand there was only confusion.

I would have to find it myself.

Exhaustion filled my muscles, torn from the effort of the swim and the tonnes of water weighing down on me. I called upon my inner magic, sending a pulse of energy through my body. Harnessing it, I swam along the rocks, keeping my eyes peeled for even the slightest hint of silver light.

So far I'd encountered no other life. No creatures. Not even fish. So it was a great shock when I saw another body, hovering in the open water.

It was nothing more than a shadow on the outskirts of the weak blue light. But the sight made me freeze. My heart palpitated and the spells almost slipped. But I regained control at the last moment, gripping my wand tight as I looked fearfully at the mysterious, motionless shape.

I knew it was a mermaid. My wand sent a subtle vibration up my arm, preparing to defend me. But I knew to keep still, and not to appear threatening. Mermaids were strong creatures by any standard, but I was a stranger in their world, and if they wanted to do me harm they easily could.

The mermaid was not ignorant of me. I was certain it had seen me long before I'd seen it. It was watching, its skin grey, its dark green hair flowing in the black water, its yellow eyes staring through the gloom.

Heart still pounding with terror, I averted my eyes. I didn't want to accidentally use Legilimency and make a bad impression.

A soft, mournful sound came through the water, and I realised that it was the mermaid, singing. It seemed to take my downcast eyes as a sign of deference and respect, and I kept very still as I sensed it swimming closer.

I couldn't be certain of its gender, even as it came very near to me. There was no aggression in its posture, but it was as strong and steady and still in the water as though it were standing confidently on solid ground. I was undoubtedly the weaker party.

Again it sang, a low note that carried the lilt of a question. Though I couldn't understand it completely, I knew in my bones that the mermaid saw no reason to harm me. Not yet, at least.

Slowly, I lifted my eyes. The mermaid evenly returned my gaze, the pupils wide and milky black, lost in their off-yellow orbs. I hadn't the slightest idea how to explain my presence there. Was the mermaid a gatekeeper of sorts? Would I have to swim in a different direction?

This time I tried my best to control it. I imagined a door opening, only a bit, and allowed the image of the stone to bleed through it.

Suddenly the even yellow eyes widened in anger. The mermaid gave an earsplitting scream, revealing sharp grey teeth. Then it turned, disturbing the peace of the deep water, and darted off into the obscurity of the blackness.

I was left in the dark, quite afraid. Blood leaked from my nostril and made a wavy line in the darkness of the water. I took more shallow breaths through my mouth now, my heart pounding in fear. I didn't know why the mermaid had left, but clearly the image I'd shared had made it furious. I was frozen, sure I should try to swim away, but completely unable to move. My ribs felt like hooks had been attached to them, and were pulling them down, making the space available to my lungs all too slim.

The raven pulsed slightly, and I knew it was Severus, somewhere far, far overhead, wondering if I was alright. I had no way to respond, being without the ability to audibly speak. I reached out and let my fingers ripple through the blue light, hoping the slightest hint of energy might translate itself into a message, up there where the rowboat rocked quietly on the cold surface of the lake.

Two figures appeared in the murky distance.

The first mermaid had brought a second back, and as they grew nearer the first retreated submissively behind the new one. It was thinner and older, its skin wrinkled while the other's was smooth. She was undoubtedly a woman and she bore her skeletal frame as though it were the body of a warrior archer. A sharp shell was pierced through her nose and she had unnervingly wide set eyes. Power emanated from her. She must have been an elder, and I saw the wisdom in her eyes. I was not as afraid as I had been before, but I knew from the way she stared at me that if I displeased her she might slaughter me at the worst and send me away at the least.

And I could not be sent away. I needed the stone.

The younger one sang a quiet note and the older mermaid moved further forward, within an arm's length of my body. Her face was harrowed and worn from a life in the cold depths of the lake. The yellow eyes peered into mine, and in the next moment I felt her mind within mine. It was cold and sharp and slimy, much different from the almost penetrative human Legilimency I'd experienced with Severus, but recognisable as Legilimency nonetheless.

I shuddered, but held her gaze as she probed for what she wanted. It became clear that she knew of the stone, and needed to know why I was seeking it. I let my good intentions float to the front of my mind, and her head turned slightly as she realised I didn't want to use it, but destroy it.

She withdrew.

She turned gradually, like a figure in a music box I'd seen once in a shop window in Diagon Alley, and glided away into the darkness.

The younger one stayed behind, staring at me. I understood that I was meant to follow. My stiff limbs strained against the water and I moved forward, the younger one following behind me as a guard.

I was led down, deeper than I'd been. They could easily have been leading me to my death, but I sensed they were not.

The pressure built further, and I focused my energy on the spells keeping me alive.

Just when I began to wonder how far they would lead me, my eyes detected light.

Dim and green, emanating from floating lamps made of shells. I looked around as I continued swimming behind the older mermaid, and my insides tightened with awe as the great arches of an underwater city emerged from the gloom. I had never imagined that such a place existed at the bottom of the black lake, and doubted it had been seen by many human eyes. Mermaids peered out of elaborate stone caves, and though none of them outwardly challenged the judgement of the one that led me, I knew they regarded me with hostility.

The arches and pillars grew taller, and soon I saw a tall ruin of a cathedral, the centre of the city, small green lamps floating through the broken ceiling and the openings of glassless windows.

I had little time to take it all in before I was swimming through the entrance arch. My belly strained as I took little panting breaths, growing wary of the charms' endurance at such a depth.

The mermaid led me through a smaller doorway.

And there it was.

Settled in what looked like a fragile stone bird bath, emitting a steady silver light. Three other mermaids stood around it with sharp spears and tridents in hand, and their eyes grew vicious at the sight of me. But when the old mermaid sang a low commanding note they dispersed, bowing their heads though they still looked on with suspicion.

The old mermaid floated to the stone and turned to me, leaving the way open for me to approach. I did so carefully, still uncertain of whether this was a trap.

Before I got too close I stilled, looking into her wide set eyes again for a sign of her final consent. The slightest crease formed in her forehead, and then an image floated into my mind. Hazy, but easy enough to understand.

I watched as the cruellest and most desperate of curses were cast from Pansy Parkinson's wand, injuring two mermaids and leaving one of them to die, the magic too foreign to be healed by the medicinal practices of the underwater people. I saw that the stone must have been under the mermaids' protection for longer than I could imagine. For generations. And the presence of me–another young woman–was no doubt a source of discomfort and anger for those looking on.

Shame filled me, and sadness. I looked into the old woman's yellow eyes and tried to convey a message. I'm sorry.

I knew she could not understand my language. But my sentiment was clear, and her wide eyes blinked once in acceptance.

Then her hand moved, webbed fingers rippling through the water as she gestured for me to take the stone.

I struggled forward, and my pale fingers closed around the stone.

It was small and fit in my palm, but felt very cold and heavy. To touch it almost slowed my blood. As though the dark magic enclosed within was tempting me to listen to its silent inky voice.

A sense of accomplishment filled me, but only halfway. I still had to make it back to the surface. And with the extreme depths taking their toll on my body, and the added burden of the stone, I knew it would not be easy.

The old mermaid motioned for me to follow, and I kept my head lowered in gratitude and respect as she led me out of the city and back into the dark wilderness of the lake, out of sight of the eerie green lamplight. She looked at me with her yellow eyes and then pointed up, clearly telling me it was time for me to be gone.

I bowed my head again and then began to climb up through the heaviness of the water. It was more difficult to swim while holding both the stone and my wand, and my legs were required to work harder without the power provided by the drag of my fingers. For a minute or so I struggled upward by the light of the blue raven.

I felt a creeping chill up my spine, as if the mermaid were still watching me. But when I looked down again, she'd slithered away.

Now I felt even more alone than before. The pressure of the water was squeezing my lungs too tightly, and though I tried to channel more energy into the protective spells, the cold silver stone seemed to be dragging my strength from me.

Forcing my wand arm into the correct position, I tried to cast ascendio. But it didn't work, and it wasn't because my voice was swallowed by the water. I could feel the stone blocking my magic. Every precaution had been built in to make it as difficult as possible to bring it up to the surface. I glared at the stone, gritting my teeth in determination, and continued my efforts.

But it was very, very difficult. Swimming up was more difficult than swimming down, and my muscles were threadbare from constant effort. Panic raced through my blood as the warming charms started to fail. Half of my brain felt heavy, as though ready to give up, while the other half retorted, If bloody Parkinson could do it, so can you!

Yet the harder I worked, the slower I seemed to move. The more I seemed to be swimming in place.

I felt a sink of horror in my heart as the warming charm waned and then completely failed, leaving the full force of the freezing cold water to press in around my body. My limbs went stiff, my skin stinging and my bones brittle.

Already the cold was making me struggle for breath. But then I felt the stone doing its destructive work on the spell that was keeping the pressure from collapsing my lungs. My brain lit up with adrenalin and I felt my wand vibrating wildly in my hand. But it could do nothing.

No.

No, no, no.

Please.

The stone was fighting with everything it had to keep from being taken from the lake.

And my body was losing.

I was still nowhere near the surface, and also nowhere near the possible aid of the mermaids. Again I tried the ascension spell, but it was for naught.

I was stuck.

And as the pressure began to clench down around me, the bubble-head charm slipped as well.

All I had left was the light of the patronus, and the silver light of the stone, which I refused to let go of. It seemed to laugh at me, its dark whispers filling my ears in the unearthly silence of the deep.

Black inky spots bled across my vision, my lungs squeezing miserably as they begged for air.

I had never had an outstanding fear of drowning. But now that it seemed drowning was the mask death would wear when it came for me, I feared it more than anything else I had ever known or imagined.

My heart was a moping, limping thing, too weak to keep up with my seizing body. My wand slipped out of my grip in my struggle to keep the stone in my hands.

I must have inhaled, then. But it seemed the water entered my lungs through holes in my sides for how suddenly it poured, burning, into the tiny tight space that was only meant for air.

Then total darkness descended, because the blue raven darted away, and my vision was going dark, static.

In that darkness my life flashed before my eyes.

All I could think was, Merlin's sake. Not this cliché.

But I had to admit it was comforting.

Though my body was being squeezed and drowned and frozen, there was a small sanctuary of warmth in my mind.

I saw myself meeting the Weasleys. A tiny malnourished girl of ten years. The warmth of the Burrow, and the shock of having my own bedroom, with enough blankets. Again I experienced the thrill of seeing Hogwarts for the first time, from one of the rowboats, gliding across the surface of the very lake in which I would draw my last icy breaths of water. I remembered my schooling, and falling in love with Fred, and my first kiss with Remus in front of the fire in Grimmauld Place. I remembered watching him hold Teddy's tiny hands with his fingers while the little boy danced to David Bowie. And I thought of Sev. Holding each other close in the cottage while the rain fell on the orchard outside the window, waiting to fall asleep.

Something slimy and strong wrapped around my waist.

Like a child reluctant to wake up, I managed to open one freezing eye.

Looking back at me was the giant eye of the giant squid, white with a large black staring pupil. The strong thing around my waist was one of its tentacles.

In the midst of my fight against death, it seemed like I was seeing God. And as I stared into that eye, I was not frightened at all. My body went limp and, velvet blackness pounding through my head, I surrendered.

But instead of pulling me down into the deep to become food, the squid propelled itself with its many tentacles towards the surface.

I felt the water moving around me very fast, as though I were hurtling through outer space. The pressure on my body decreased rapidly and I felt my lungs swelling up, fighting the water in burning contractions.

Then I broke the surface.

Felt the wind on my skin. Like an infant, skin yet untouched by air.

And I drew my first breath.

The first hit of air filled my brain with agony, but I couldn't get enough, gasping and coughing and choking as my arms flailed too quickly through the weightless air.

Warm hands grabbed me, strong arms lifted me up.

My legs knocked bruisingly against the hard wooden side–of the boat, I realised–and the stone clattered against the bottom as my hands finally released, shivering violently.

My vision came back in bleary patches, and I heard Poppy's voice, "Up it comes, dear. That's right," before I even realised I was coughing up the water I'd inhaled. I spluttered and gagged and retched, and then burst into tears of exhaustion and relief. Severus was swaddling me in blankets, putting his hands on my frozen skin and sending blooms of stinging warmth through me with his magic.

"My wand!" I wheezed, as he pulled me against his chest. The loss was tremendous. "My wand!"

Poppy gave a shriek as the tentacle of the squid breached the surface and arched over the side of the boat. It was holding my wand, and Severus reached up to take it. The tentacle uncurled and then receded, and there was a drag of the lake's water against the hull of the boat as the massive body of the squid dove down into the depths again.

Severus pressed my wand against my trembling chest and my hands pressed over it, the fingers too stiff to straighten. He held me tight, his voice in my ear as he repeated, "I've got you. I've got you."

I gave a shivering moan, and my vision faded to black.

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