Playlist:
To Die For – Sam Smith
Helena – My Chemical Romance
You'll Be in My Heart – Glenn Close, Phil Collins
All I Know So Far – P!nk
The Archer – Taylor Swift
Rockabye – Clean Bandit, Sean Paul, Anne-Marie
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the words. Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight series, and the songs belong to their respective people.
To Die For
The atmosphere in the Attic was tranquil and quiet when Bella opened the door at the bottom of the stairs. She pulled Edward gently to a stop next to the new bed Lizzie had sent up, smiling softly at the magicks of it. The tree's twisted roots formed into a sculpted couch with a wave of her hand, and the spells surrounding it offered soft protection and serenity. Alice looked up with a welcoming grin from her journaling at the kitchen table; Bella noticed her eyes tracking the casts written into the bed and her own soft smile grew. She could feel the anticipation in the air, curiosity snapping at her fingertips. Jasper squirmed with the emotions in the room. Alice finished her sentence with a flourish before she bounced up next to them and gave Bella a hug.
"Hey! Where were you guys? We were looking for you."
Bella blushed distractedly, already anxious and excited to talk to the newest Fae bloodline in private. She gave no thought at all to her response. "We went for a walk."
Rosalie let loose a short laugh, turning the page in her book. "Some walk. The damage to the bathroom is frankly intimidating, and your hair is still damp."
Oops. She must have forgotten to fix the bathroom before she shifted them away. Damn, that's what she got for being distracted.
Well, she may as well cut to the chase. Her smile grew into a beaming grin. "Carlisle did make it rain."
Esme sat up straighter in Carlisle's lap on the couch and opened her mouth, her curious question on her lips. Emmett beat her to it, shouting his question from the balcony where he and Jasper were playing chess.
"Yeah, let's talk about that. Am I gonna start an earthquake every time I get annoyed? 'Cause that would be really inconvenient." Jasper flicked Emmett's ear, hissing at him reproachfully for interrupting their mother, and Bella had to swallow down a giggle.
Esme smiled shyly at Bella. "It's not that we aren't thrilled to become Fae citizens, Bella. It's just... I didn't think that vampyr could perform magicks. I mean, what does being Fae mean?"
"I get it. It's a lot."
Bella took a deep breath to center herself, trying hard to think about what the Cullens needed to know instead of her possessive satisfaction that they were finally hers, in more ways than she had ever thought possible."Okay...at the gala, when I was talking about submitting you to become a Fae bloodline, I told you that you would have to renounce fealty to the Volturi and that you would get permanent access to Havana. I wasn't prepared… well, I mean I didn't think that vampyr could do magicks, no one did. There's no history of vampires among the Fae except a vague acknowledgement that your species exists; the more detailed histories were lost when the Great Library burned."
She rolled her eyes in frustration at her own blindness. "I'm such an idiot. I should've seen it. I mean, Jasper broke a telekinetic hold; you've all interacted with echoes, and then there is Carlisle's healing ability and Alice's sight, plus her general ...Alice-ness, and Edward, geez, where do I even begin. I can't believe I didn't see it; it seems so obvious now that the potential was there."
Bella shrugged. "Anyway, the point is...when I performed the casts that introduced you to the magicks, I just did them like normal...well, I mean, they have only ever been performed once or twice or maybe three times, but I didn't change them at all from how they were written, and I used the same amount of blood and everything and..."
Something was off, there was something unsettled growing in their faces now. Uh-oh. Edward looked mildly horrified, and Carlisle did too. Even Rosalie looked concerned. She had told them she had cast a spell on them, right? What if they didn't like the thought of her casting on them?
Bella gathered her courage. "...why are you all looking at me like that?"
Alice stuttered out the question on everyone's mind. "Blood? You cast a spell on us, and you had to sacrifice blood for it?"
Bella cocked an eyebrow at them, trying to hide her relief and amusement. "Well, what did you think I meant when I said I was submitting you to become a bloodline?"
Emmett couldn't help his outburst. "I dunno, like some paperwork or a ceremony or something? Not sacrificing blood and introducing us to cosmic forces!"
"Oh." Her nervousness was back. "Well, uh...I did ask first. Besides, Destiny has only written in the stars that which already is. Your manifestations are nothing more than the celebration and cementing of what already exists in yourselves. Remember? As above, so below. As the universe, so the soul. I mean, your character is what it is, and Destiny has chosen to honor your choices by giving you access to the realm of magick and energy. It's no less than what I would have expected, now that I think about it. You guys have always changed the balance of everything so naturally. Now you will help me and the Fae keep the balance of the elemental magicks."
"How do we do that?" Carlisle looked unsure, but not angry or frustrated, and Bella allowed herself a relieved exhale, relaxing the tense set of her shoulders.
"That part will take some time to learn. You will be honored at the Choosing ceremony, and subject to the hand of Destiny in your life as well as Fae law and custom. I can't imagine you guys were planning on Binding or Purging anyone, and you can learn in the Library about Fae customs. You'll have to keep a grimoire that will be submitted to the Library after you pass to the other side. Huh, I guess you guys will also have to appoint a head-of-household now that you have noble titles - but that's all boring paperwork stuff."
"Yeah, let's get to the part where we can do magicks now. I like that part." Emmett smirked.
"You'll learn your affinities officially at the Choosing ceremony, but you'll probably have a pretty good idea of what they are before then. Emmett, you're obviously an earth affinity; Carlisle, I can confidently say you have an affinity for water. Still, the Choosing ceremony will be important because you might have multiple affinities. You will experience the development of new instincts or magickal senses like seeing auras or casting echoes. When that happens, just relax into it and follow your instincts. You all are a bit old to go to the School, but I can talk to them at some point about letting you pursue classes if you'd like."
Jasper wrinkled his nose, but Rosalie looked considering. Bella continued.
"Mostly, you just have an official loyalty to me and the Fae now. I have responsibilities to you, and you to me. I am responsible for helping you learn about the magicks and uphold their character, and for honoring your rights. You are obligated to keep the balance between the light magicks and dark magicks within yourself and the world around you to the best of your ability, until you are called to cross the river to the other side."
Bella felt herself grow tense as she focused on Carlisle, wanting him to understand the seriousness of her next words.
"Nothing has really changed...well. One thing has changed. You are Fae citizens now. You and your bloodline are subject to the Choosing ceremony and the hand of Destiny, and that means that you are subject to the ruler of the throne room; you have pledged your loyalty to the crown."
"Bella, you must know by now that you have our loyalty. If we have made you doubt-"
"No, no, of course I know that - but you didn't pledge your loyalty to me. You pledged it to the crown. When I die, if Destiny gifts the Master the throne, you will be expected to pledge your loyalty to him, answer his call to battle, and serve with him to better the Fae according to what he believes is right."
"No."
Carlisle's voice was firm, and Rosalie and Jasper chorused with him.
That's a death sentence.
Bella clenched her fist at her side to hide her desperate frustration. "Make no mistake, you speak treason. Do not speak this oath lightly, for it may unknowingly bind you after I am gone. You are leverage now, and powerful leverage at that. You are my family, and if your loyalty depends upon my victory, it will continue to do so even after I am gone. The treason you speak today may kill you tomorrow."
"I will not serve him. If that is my death, so be it."
Bella knew she sounded desperate; she knew the familiar fear showed in her voice.
...It costs too much to love me.
"Will you make an oath, then? To continue this fight after I have gone on? To be loyal to the character of the magicks and guide the Fae all the days of your immortal life, until you pass to the other side? That's a lot to ask of you, Carlisle. You're a bloodline now; you have to pick a side. And that means you must live with that choice, even if all else fails. Even if I fail."
Carlisle took hold of Bella's hand, pressing something into it gently. "Isabella Swan, we swear, here and now and always to be on your side. We will not let you go, Bella."
Behind Carlisle, Edward's family smiled gently at her, nodding seriously.
When Bella opened her hand - there, nestled just-so in her palm, was a delicate chain-link steel bracelet. In the center was the Cullen crest, engraved in gold set in steel. Tiny roses bloomed along the edges of the steel pendant, raised just enough that their golden edges caught the light and threw sparkles through the air.
A pleasant buzzing filled her senses, a strange acceptance and soft joy that left her head fuzzy and her knees weak.
"Oh."
Bella fumbled for the bed behind her, lowering herself slowly to sit. "You can't...you can't give me this." Even as she spoke, Bella felt her hand close gently around the emblem in her palm, clinging to it like no one would be able to take it from her grasp.
Esme flitted to Bella's side and kissed her cheek. "It's already yours. I had a jeweler in the bazaar make it, I wanted to give you something after the gala. Alice designed it, and the steel came from some of Jasper and Carlisle's old war medals. Rosalie and I donated some of our jewelry for the gold." She gently took the bracelet from Bella and started to string it on her wrist. "Emmett helped hammer it out. The jeweler was very impressed when he flattened it in one strike." Esme did the clasp with an air of finality and placed one hand on Bella's cheek. "We have only written in steel what already is, Bella. We are family."
Bella smiled broadly, finally letting herself feel the earth-shaking joy that she was no longer alone; they all ignored the resulting quaking of the Attic floor. "Okay. Family then. Isabella Swan-Cullen. I like it."
"Oh no." Edward broke in, grinning from ear to ear. "No changing your name until we get married."
Helena
The night passed peacefully until the witching hour, the moon tracing a downward arc through the sky. Bella shifted closer to Edward in her sleep, her new bracelet gleaming as it caught the moonlight, and he couldn't help his soft smile. Edward brushed a gentle fingertip against the latch of the bracelet, absently wishing he could weld it permanently so that Bella would never forget that she had a family that loved her. He was startled when energy rushed through him; the latch glowed crimson as it melted and cooled.
Edward blinked twice, hard.
The latch was still fused, the bracelet permanently affixed to Bella's wrist. Edward blinked again, before a wry grin flashed across his face. Maybe he should be more careful about what he wished for, from now whole doing magick thing would take some getting used to. In the meantime, he had bigger problems: like how he was going to undo whatever it was he had just done.
"Shit." Edward whispered as he fiddled with the latch. He could break it off, but Bella would be mad. Alice danced into the living room quietly on tiptoe, retrieving her journal from the table. She giggled as she whispered to him softly.
"Esme will be mad too, better to just leave it."
Edward couldn't decide which was worse, and he sighed as he released the newly welded bracelet. Bella would just laugh anyway. Alice's feet made no noise on the floor as she tiptoed closer, squeezing Carlisle's shoulder as she passed by him without interrupting his reading at the table. She peeked at Bella from over Edward's shoulder, smiling down at Bella's features and relishing the quiet softness of sleeping golden energy. Her affectionate thoughts rang sweetly across Edward's mind.
Alice's thoughts rang differently now that she could see auras, colored with the constant awareness of those around her. It reminded Edward of his own disorientation when he had awoken to vampiric life and been forced to adjust to the constant input of the thoughts of others. Edward reached out, brushing his hand against Alice's arm in comfort, grounding her through the ripples of color around her.
Jasper's misty gray was spiking and falling in the rhythm of his story about a colorful encounter with one of the librarians; Emmett's laughter spread from the bedroom in a pale green ripple. It was tempered by Rosalie's lavender haze of exasperated affection as she motioned for him to quiet down. Esme giggled, cotton candy sweetness on Alice's tongue, and Edward was overwhelmed with just the secondary input. Alice kissed the tips of her fingers and touched them to the back of Edward's hand, accepting his comfort before she turned and headed back to join her siblings and mother in the bedroom.
Bella tossed her head and turned onto her back, her hair shifting to cover her face as she kicked her legs, trying to free herself from the blanket. Emmett's laughter cut off suddenly when Bella whimpered.
Edward's breath stilled in his lungs, and Alice went motionless mid-step. Golden energy spiked and dipped now, infected with shadows of dark poison and twisting itself in knots. When Bella spoke, her half-muffled mumbles were begging and full of despair.
"No more, it hurts... please."
His lover tossed her head wildly, turning away from him and curling into a defensive ball, throwing her pillow to the floor. Edward didn't need to borrow Alice's aura-sight to know that Bella's golden aura was writhing in remembered pain. He could feel her reaching for him mentally, gold expanding in his head in a desperate cry for help.
He put a trembling hand on Bella's shoulder, but she only flinched away, starting to shiver. Jasper flashed to Alice's side, clinging to her as she crumpled into sadness; Rosalie and Emmett held hands tightly as they came in from the bedroom. Esme was frozen in the doorway, her eyes turned upwards and begging. Horror wrote itself in the lines of her face. Bella's brow crinkled but she did not wake; mumbles escaped her more quickly now.
"Don't, please; I'll do it, I'll do it, just leave Addy alone. I'll do it, it's okay, it's okay, don't cry..."
Edward shook her, trying to force himself to speak through the knot in his throat. His words came out whispered and desperate. "Bella, love, wake up. You're having a nightmare."
Bella's heartbeat accelerated as she thrashed and turned into Edward's chest, unconsciously pulling at a fistful of his shirt. Edward caught a glimpse of Tomas' sneering face, an echo of an infant's cry.
Edward shook her again, harder, but she didn't wake up. His desperation grew and his thoughts raced; he dove into his own mindscape, searching for the crimson city with the golden sky and trying to reach backto her. He couldn't focus for a long moment, straining towards the golden glow in his thoughts, before some instinctual defense folded and collapsed between his mind and hers. The nightmare turned all-too real.
Demetri was holding him back from interfering in the horrific tragedy playing out in front of him, pinned and helpless with his arms behind his back. There was a bitter taste on his tongue, and his knees ached from kneeling on the uneven rock below. The world smelled of ashes and blood, but that may have been a side-effect of the desperation that made his thoughts race. There was an unfamiliar heartbeat in his chest, accelerating fast.
He couldn't do anything but watch as Tomas held the baby away from himself disgustedly, dangling her precariously over the hard floor by one foot. That was Ayesha's baby, the little girl with the captivating hazel eyes, the one who hardly ever cried even when they couldn't feed her; that was the baby Adeline had said she would die for.
Tomas wrinkled his nose at the new stain on his suit as Demetri collapsed into cruel laughter that Edward could feel against his skin. Adeline was across the dim room, screeching, rabid with the need to save the child from the long fall and starting to rip at the ropes around her wrists with her teeth. She would free herself soon, and that didn't end well for anyone, least of all Addy. He had to think of something, right now. He saw the opportunity left behind by a discarded blade just as Addy freed one wrist; Demetri was too busy cackling to notice Addy's newfound advantage. Edward's plea came out in Bella's voice.
"No. No, please, she's just a baby; Tomas, please, I'll do it...Addy, don't!"
Just as suddenly, Edward felt himself thrust out of the dream by a crack of golden magick that screamed with Bella's protective instincts. Bella jerked hard, going rigid; Edward couldn't bear it. He grabbed Bella by both shoulders, shaking her violently just once.
"Bella. Wake up - now."
There was a bright flash of golden energy in his head that blinded his senses.
He was pinned on his back with Bella straddling him, her eyes golden and sword extended. When she registered who he was, she collapsed against his chest, weeping and clutching at him as her sword retracted. She buried bloody fingers in his hair, nuzzling into the junction of his neck like she was trying to crawl under his skin.
"I'm s-sorry. It was just a bad one. Are you o-okay?" She hiccupped the words, gasping for breath.
"Shh, Bella, it's okay. You're here, you're alive. I love you." Edward wrapped his love in a tight embrace, crushing her against him protectively. "You didn't hurt me, I'm fine. Shh. You're awake now."
You'll Be In My Heart
He felt Bella's beating heart begin to slow in his hold and devoted himself to comforting his lover as her breaths evened out. Every time Bella's body jolted or her breath caught, Edward tightened his grip just slightly. He worried he was holding her too tightly, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.
He turned to look at his father over Bella's shoulder, questioning silently. Carlisle shook his head sadly, swallowing down venom tears. His hands had tightened on his book, the pages shivering from the shaking in Carlisle's fingers. No, Edward. There is no magick or mortal medicine within my realm of knowledge that will stop Bella's dreams.
Esme finally moved again, crossing the room carefully. The deliberate tap-tap-tap of her feet was loud in the silent room, broken only by Bella's occasional gasping hiccup as she tried to regulate her breathing. Esme sat on the edge of the mattress cautiously, breathing deliberately as she reached to pet at Bella's newly shorn hair. She rubbed Edward's forearm with her other hand and Edward reluctantly loosened his restricting grip.
Immediately, Bella moved too-fast. Her hand extended like a cobra's strike to grab hold of Esme's wrist where she touched Edward, but his mother only twisted so that she was holding Bella's hand. Edward's mother looked heartbroken as she bent to press a brief kiss to the back of Bella's head. "Edward isn't going anywhere, child, but you are human; you must be able to breathe. Match my breathing, come on, in through your nose..."
After a few moments of controlled breathing, Bella's hiccups slowed and stopped; she twisted her hand in Esme's, tangling their fingers. Her voice would have been inaudible to human ears.
"You...you lost a baby once, didn't you, Esme?"
Esme stilled, her mind flooding with the memory of Bella's younger echo holding the bloodstained infant in the throne room. Jasper could feel the pinpricks of pain and panic in Esme as she answered.
"Yes."
"What was their name?"
Esme hesitated only slightly; she hadn't spoken her child's name in decades. Her thoughts colored with despair at that realization, and suddenly Esme was eager to respond. "David. I was going to name him David."
"That's a nice name. It's odd, isn't it? You build up walls your whole life, defenses that keep the pain away...you think you're safe, that nothing could ever touch your heart again; then there comes along this little thing that can't even survive on its own and it's the space of a breath before every wall crumbles and you'd give your heartbeat away just to keep this helpless thing safe."
Bella was quiet for a long moment, and Edward felt the brush of her eyelashes against his neck as she closed her eyes. "...We...we didn't know her name. Ayesha didn't tell us, and we had never thought to ask...Sometimes, I'd look into her eyes and swear I could see everything in them, the whole universe glowing with the gleaming future...It's odd, isn't it? How beginnings can only come from the end, and you'd lay down your life for something you can't even put a name to, a future you can't even see."
Esme's heartbroken understanding was expected, but Edward felt a fission of shock run through him at Jasper's pained comprehension. His brother had fought long and hard to keep his hope for the future alive before he found it in a Philadelphia diner. Everyone in his family had known Bella's pain; they knew what it was to feel a dream die.
Bella nuzzled into him before she finally looked up to meet Esme's gaze, inviting her to understand. "I never thought I would find another future to die for, another dream worth everything. And then...and then you called yourselves my family."
Bella went quiet again, before she turned her head to take in Rosalie's white-knuckled grip on Emmett's hand.
"There are dreams that cannot last forever. There are things I cannot change." Bella's eyes were tear-stained lightning when they met Rosalie's. "That doesn't mean it isn't worth it."
An echo of a dark-skinned baby, maybe two or three months old and wrapped in rags, appeared on the edge of the bed closest to Rosalie, and his sister's face was heartbroken as she released Emmett to reach for the skeletal child with the exceptional hazel eyes.
"All the pain...all the suffering and death...it's worth it to know that the dream still lives."
Bella was quiet and still now, Esme's hand in hers and Edward's tight grip on her waist. The echo stayed for almost an hour, Bella watching Rosalie pet the child's hair and comfort her. Edward almost thought his love was asleep once more when she reached out gently for the echo, untangling her hand from Esme's and brushing at the tuft of black hair on the little girl's head cautiously, almost touching but not quite.
A slow and grief-laden Fae lullaby began to ring whisper-soft through the Attic, music that came from nowhere in Bella's voice. When Bella finally closed her eyes to sleep again, the sun was beginning to turn the sky a lighter blue. Edward looked around the room at his family, adding his prayers to the ones he could hear in their heads.
Let this be the dream that doesn't end.
Die Young
Bella locked herself in her office to mutter at the battle maps until lunch. She had planned to go to the dining hall for the midday meal, but she got distracted by the updates from Haven that Kaedra dropped by. Edward glared at her as the noon bell rang out, muttering about her being off duty, but he let it go when she ate a granola bar out of the drawer that Esme had insisted on setting up. Now it had been hours since breakfast, and Bella could feel her muscles stiffening up. She stretched and Edward winced at the multiple pops in her spine and elbows.
"Bella, I really wish you would take a break. Are you hungry? I'm sure Esme still has something to eat in the kitchens."
"No, I'm alright. I wouldn't say no to joining you for a walk or something. I'm getting a cramp in my hand."
Edward was already putting away his book, marking his page for later. "What are you doing, anyway?"
"I'm working through my white boxes. The casualty reports are always draining for me, and a lot of them are from Haven. All I can do is write a letter to their families and see to their final affairs. It just never feels like enough."
Edward had to swallow through the sudden reminder that every moment he spent with Bella was the result of hard-fought battles. He was distracted from those heavy thoughts when Bella whistled cheerily out of her office window for no reason that Edward could see. She turned back to her desk, packing away her things. Before even thirty seconds had passed, a small sparrow chirped at her from the windowsill.
"Hello, Willow! I was wondering if you would carry a message for me, little bird. I need to send Nhamo her release from duty for the evening; it's Ntombi's birthday, and she's crazy if she thinks I'm gonna let her get away with working through it. Do you mind a trip to the battlefields? I'll give you the last of that good birdseed you liked from Forks."
The bird trilled in agreement. Edward tried to keep his voice soft, so he didn't startle the creature. He could swear the plain little sparrow was...familiar.
"Bella, can that animal understand you?"
The sparrow puffed out its chest and flew towards Edward, screeching as it dived at him. Edward managed not to swat at it when it tried to rip out his hair. He could admire the little bird's bravery.
"Willow! Stop that. Edward is mine, and he won't be part of your nest today. Willow is one of the birds I use to get a good view of the battlefields, but she's more special than that. I've been calling Willow to me since I first learned how at the School. She's a distinguished old broad now. Don't worry, she likes you just fine, she just doesn't take kindly to being called an animal."
"I didn't know Fae could call...er...creatures... to themselves."
"You guys haven't hung out with a lot of Earth-affinities, and it's not a complicated skill, or particularly useful in battle. It is, however, one of the first things we learn as kids. It helps new magick users get a feel for the balance of the world and gives kids an option to send for help if ever they should need it. Actually, a lot of the earth affinity has to do with animals. Heck, the earth's blessing is the mark of transformation, the ability to change into whatever form you choose. That's why your rage in Kasdeya's forest was so potent, the earth blessing heightened your animalistic instincts." Bella set down a small pile of birdseed on the desk.
"Come here."
She took Edward's hand as he approached, leading Willow to him with a small trail of food. Edward held his breath, trying not to scare off Bella's pet; soon enough the bird cocked its head, considering. After a moment of thought, the sparrow jumped into Edward's palm, pecking at a sunflower seed. Edward couldn't hide his surprise.
"See? You're not so scary, Edward. Even a little sparrow knows you're too good to hurt her." She grinned up at him, still pressing her small hand into the back of his. Bella cast a golden mist of glittering magic around Willow's head while the bird ate, still speaking distractedly.
"You've met Willow before. She...uh...she may have...followed you...a few times. When you were hunting. I'd get anxious when you went for the weekends." Edward pulled her in for a slow kiss, relishing this moment where he learned yet another layer of her love for him.
When Willow had chased down the last speck of food, she cheeped and took off out the window, making Edward startle at the feel of feathers flapping. Bella hummed in pleasure as he pulled away, giggling at his surprise. She snapped her fingers. "Oh, I know! We should go down to the training grounds; Rosalie should be there with the kids, and I wanted to pop in on them. Come on."
Edward took her hand. "Lead on, my love."
When they reached the cavern entrance, Edward looked out at the patchwork of radically divergent landscapes stretched across the wide mesa; each of them had their own weather, a dozen little worlds crammed together haphazardly by a mad god. Bella pointed out his sisters; they were tucked under the shade of a scraggly tree, talking softly while their husbands trained with the first years on the open field of snow behind them. A group of children played in the sunny spot of tall grass that bordered the small creek running between the tree and the cavern entrance.
Ntombi jumped up from Rosalie's lap as they arrived. "QueenB! QueenB! Did you come to see me 'cause it's my birthday?"
"Don't be silly, Ntombi. I'm here on a very serious mission. Your mother sent me to carry it out herself. I am here to..." Bella swooped down suddenly, picking up Ntombi and spinning her in a circle as the little girl screeched with laughter. "... play a game with the birthday girl and her friends!"
"Let's play Aitsal!" Ntombi cried as Bella set her down.
"No way! The vampires can't play that game; they don't know the magicks good enough yet! Let's play Heksery instead!" Nicolai disagreed.
"Yeah, Heksery! The vampires are really fast!" Lily cast her vote eagerly, and the others nodded along.
"Oh, guys, do we have to? Maybe the vampires don't know how to play that game."
"Aw, come on! Please, QueenB? It's just like that game mortals play, um, what's the one...hide and seek!" Ntombi seemed just as eager to play this game as the other one. Rosalie grinned too, obviously familiar with the game. Alice shot them a pleading look and Edward grinned, turning to Bella.
"How do you play?"
"Ntombi is right, it's close to hide and seek. It's a call and response game, and the kids will want us to play the devils. The rules are pretty simple. The devils get in the middle of the ring of kids, who play the witches. We'll close our eyes and spin one way, while the kids will run as fast as they can around the devils in the other direction. We say our part and they say theirs; when the kids say the last line, they'll scatter. We have to chase them down. It's different because the kids can set up traps and stuff to keep from getting tagged, and once we've chased down a kid, they become a Judas; they can tell us where the other kids are or lie to save their teammates. If we catch a Judas in a lie, they become devils like us; if they give up the other kids honestly or trick us into believing them, they go to heaven. The game goes on until only the devils are left out of heaven. The last one to make it to heaven is the winner and gets to punish the devils by making them do something: a dare or a silly task."
"So, it's like hide and seek, but blasphemous." Alice chirped.
"I am a witch, Alice dear."
The Core was ending practice for the day, and Emmett's grin was wolfish as he jogged over to them with Jasper brushing snow from the training field off of his shoulders behind him. "Oh, just wait until you hear the rhyme. It'd be the creepiest game I've ever played if it weren't so much fun. And I grew up playing ring around the rosy."
"You played ring around the rosy?" Jasper looked slightly awestruck that Emmett had let that little gem slip.
"Shuddup. It was one of my younger sisters' favorite games when I was a little mortal squirt like Eyan." Emmett ruffled the boy's hair playfully and Eyan grinned up at him, throwing his arms around Emmett's waist and clambering onto his shoulders. "I'll be on the kids' team, since they're gonna be the winners."
That made Eyan cheer from his new spot atop Emmett. Alice narrowed her eyes at where Rosalie was already conspiring softly with Lily. "I think Rosalie is with the kiddos on this one too."
Ntombi broke in, squirming as she grabbed Bella's hand. "I'll be a devil with you, QueenB."
Alice flitted to grab Jasper's hand, pulling him closer. "Jazz, come be devilish with me!"
"Play! Play! Play!" The group of kids started to chant excitedly.
Bella held up her hands. "Alright, chill out. Me, Edward, Ntombi, Alice, and Jasper will be the devils. Boundaries are: stay within the training grounds, and if I shout your name three times in a row, that means come out immediately, okay?"
Edward grinned as Lily, Nicolai, Ntombi and the other kids nodded; their excitement was mirrored on his siblings' faces as well as on Bella's. The devils' circle was on the inside, wrapped around the trunk of the scraggly tree. He joined hands with Alice and Bella, who had hoisted Ntombi to hang around her neck in a backwards facing hold that sheltered Ntombi's head under Bella's chin. Jasper took Bella's other hand while the kids lined up in a larger circle facing them.
Ntombi yelled loudly over Bella's shoulder.
"Run, Witches, Run!"
Bella pulled Edward into a counterclockwise spin, and Edward closed his eyes. The rhyme was disorienting as it echoed around him, made more so by the spinning and the odd movement of voices around him in the darkness. Their circle was getting faster and faster, and Edward knew they were a blur. He worried for Ntombi, but the Fae girl was giggling from her place around Bella's neck.
Bella and Ntombi yelled the devils' part, and the kids responded discordantly, leading to a jolting rhythm that pulled at Edward's instincts.
Adam ate the apple...
...Hell is empty!
Eve killed the snake...
...Hell is empty!
Lilith burned the garden...
...Hell is empty!
Now we all make mistakes!
...All the devils are here!
Edward felt a strange disorientation in his gut, and it only got worse when he opened his eyes. All around him was a thick white mist, filled with giggles and chirps of laughter as the kids scattered away from him. Alice released him, gasping in surprise as she reached to grab Jasper's shoulders. He swung her onto his back and took off with a wicked grin.
Edward tightened his grip on Bella's hand in fleeting panic; she shot him an indulgent grin as she crouched to let Ntombi run off into the foggy unknown. She tugged him into a run next to her, chasing the echo of Nicolai's laugh. Edward shook his head and sprang forward, releasing Bella to chase a shadow that ran in front of him. He reached out to tap Emmett's shoulder and was surprised when the shadowy figure dissolved immediately.
Right. Magickal children's games. Okay, then.
Edward stopped briefly, and Bella sent him a silent thought. Follow your nose. The kids have cast an illusory charm on their laughter, asking the air to repeat it. Lily is a fire affinity; she and Rosalie must be the ones manipulating shadows. Rose always is a clever one. Ntombi cast the mist, actually. She just thought it'd add atmosphere.
Edward focused on his senses, enjoying his control over his predatory instincts. "There's Lily and Nicolai. I don't smell anyone else."
Watch your step then, too. Nicolai loves puzzles and traps, and he's an earth affinity.
"This game might be a little different than hide and seek, Bella. Some warning would have been nice."
She shot him a cheeky grin. "Your face was so worth it though."
A few moments later, Bella stopped, reaching out and squeezing his hand. She tapped at the ground with her toes, and Edward registered the difference in pitch. He nodded.
"Nicolai." Bella's voice was high-pitched and singsong. "Nicolai. Tell me your sins, Judas."
The boy's voice came from the left. "Ntombi already caught Lily, but Rosalie tricked Alice and went to heaven."
Edward took a step in that direction, but Bella jerked him back just in time to avoid a trap that would've strung him upside down. The tall grass at Edward's feet rustled from behind them, and now the boy's voice came from over there. "Peter and Hannah fell from grace when Jasper caught them before they hid; they're devils now."
"Rebekah, Taylor, and Aya are all in one spot; Eyan's feet don't touch the ground." The voice came from the right.
Edward tried to catch Nicolai's scent, but it didn't help, the boy should have been right next to him. He cocked his head questioningly at Bella as she put a finger to her lips, grinning. She pointed downward silently.
"Nicolai..."
"Nicolai..."
Bella took a step back, motioning Edward to do the same.
"Nicolai..."
Bella stomped her foot against the ground where they had been standing and it crumbled, revealing Nicolai's dirty face.
"That was wonderful; good job. I almost walked right past you. I'll have to remember you guys' little party trick with the laughter and the voices."
Nicolai brushed dirt from himself as he stood, grinning fiercely. "Yeah? You have to tell us if you use it on any real bad guys."
"Oh, I will."
"So, whaddya think? Do I get to go to heaven, or did I fall from grace?"
"I don't know. What do you think, Edward?"
"Welcome to the dark side. No way are there three of you in one spot, you're too smart for that."
"Aw man! I thought I had you for sure. The rest of the stuff was true, I only slipped in a little lie."
"I could tell. Your heartbeat sped up."
"You can hear my heartbeat? Cool! Well, I'm a devil now, I bet I can catch Eyan if I can float that high. Wanna come see, QueenB?"
"Maybe next time, kiddo. We've still got witches to catch."
Alice and Jasper caught Emmett, who became a devil. Nicolai and Ntombi had to team up to go after Eyan, who had levitated above the mist and was watching the game with glee until Ntombi shot a blast of water at him that made him lose his focus and fall. He landed on the soft net of greenery that Nicolai made to catch him. He went to heaven too, tricking Nicolai into believing that Taylor and Aya were hiding in the stables. When Nicolai and Ntombi ran to tag them, their echoes disappeared.
Rebekah was at the bottom of a deep spot in the creek; Edward tried hard not to laugh at Bella when the little girl threw a gush of water up from her hiding spot that hit Bella in the face. Bella had narrowed her eyes and teamed up with the girl to splash him, after.
Rebekah gave up Taylor and Aya's hiding spot, and Bella helped the two younger kids climb up from a hollow in the trunk of the ragged tree; the opening extended deep underground, forming a clubhouse of sorts. The other kids caught up, and Rebekah was haphazardly declared the winner.
The kids held a messy huddle, whispering loudly.
"Rebekah, I wanna see the devils eat cake! Vampires can't eat real food, I wanna see what happens!"
"Eyan! That's mean. What if it hurts them or something? Don't be mean to them, they're nice!" Rosalie grinned when Lily stomped her foot stubbornly, glaring at Eyan, and Emmett breathed a sigh of relief.
"We should let Ntombi and Rebekah decide."
"What do you think, birthday girl?" Rebekah whispered loudly, craning her neck up at Jasper to make sure he wasn't listening. Jasper quickly turned his head to look into the distance, trying to hide his grin. Bella giggled, and then Ntombi made her decision.
"I think we should dare them to drink blood! That way it won't hurt them, and it'll be cool!"
Edward's siblings froze. Jasper's face fell into utter panic. Even Bella went a shade paler as she called out to them. "Uh, not a great idea guys. Pick something else."
"But QueenB, I won!" whined Rebekah, and the kids protested loudly behind her. Edward could see the mutiny beginning, and he weighed his self-control carefully before he stepped up next to Bella with a confident grin.
"Alright, alright, everybody just relax. Watch."
"Edward, what are you doing?" Bella's voice was amused as she darted her gaze to take in his siblings nervously. Edward winked at her as he took her hand. He pressed her thumb gently into one of his incisors until a single drop of blood appeared. Bella gasped at the sting and Edward let the kids see the drop of red before he licked Bella's thumb.
The chorus of "cool!" and "gross!" made him smile, and Bella smiled back at him with a blush on her cheeks. Alice grinned proudly at Edward's control; Emmett just rolled his eyes at them, turning to Lily. "I'm with you, little one. Gross."
Edward felt just a bit like he was flying.
All I Know So Far
After that, the kids were more focused on showing off their clubhouse, which was an impressive display. The trunk of the tree served as the entrance, but soon enough it expanded into the ground, creating huge pockets under the roots of the tree that were the size of small bedrooms. Under the trunk was a central pocket of space that served as HQ. They all crammed into it somehow, and Bella ooh-ed and ahh-ed over the space as the kids showed them around, even expanding it a little and adding glowing lights in each kid's little cubby that matched their aura colors. She grinned at Jasper as she added an orb that cast echoes of the training grounds into the main area.
"...for planning missions, of course!"
Nicolai and Eyan cheered loudly as Bella and Rosalie herded the group out of the clubhouse and back onto the more spacious field.
"Mom! Auntie Dolly!" Ntombi cried out, running to embrace Nhamo and Babydoll eagerly.
"Auntie Dolly?" Bella snickered, ignoring the perfunctory bows from the other girls in the Queen's guard.
"Don't tease her about it, Izzy. Ntombi is determined to be her new best friend, and Babydoll has no idea what to do with her. Though it is hilarious to watch Babydoll be so awkward for once." Nikki warned as she grinned back.
"You're looking better. How's your hearing, Lorelai?"
"I won't be rocking out to that horrible metal music that Risa likes anytime soon, but your Carlisle did a very good job on my ear. He is quite the perfectionist."
Nhamo approached them with Ntombi on one hip. "And what's this, then? Ntombi, you must stand proud! It is not every little girl who is honored by a visit from her majesty on her birthday! I do hope you said thank you."
Ntombi scrambled down and gave Bella a messy curtsy under her mother's expectant eyes. "Thank you for coming to my party, QueenB! Mommy, you have to watch me climb the tree! QueenB made our clubhouse bigger, come see, come see!"
Edward turned his head to hide his snickering, amused by Ntombi's eagerness, but he was taken aback by the rigid lines of jealousy and anger on Bella's face as her features came into his view. It seemed no one else had noticed, and Edward quickly diverted his eyes. Across the small group, Zia's eyes flicked from where they were watching Bella carefully to take in Edward's reaction. The stern warrior nodded at Edward seriously. When Bella was distracted by Lily seeking help with the complicated process of braiding a flower crown, her face falling back into a happy softness, Edward heard Jasper direct his thoughts towards him.
...jealousy, resignation, anger, wistfulness and profound sadness.
Zia made her way over to him leisurely, stopping to chat with Rose and Alice. When she drew level with where he stood, she turned to follow his gaze. Lily was placing a messy crown of woven white flowers on the top of Bella's head, and Bella shot him a self-conscious smile before she got distracted by little Taylor tugging at her knee, motioning to be held.
"Sometimes, Edward Cullen, scars are born from the things we want but can never have. Sometimes, the future hurts more than the past. Especially futures that die before they can come to be." Zia didn't meet his eyes as she spoke, still watching the idyllic scene in front of them.
When Bella helped the little boy climb into her lap, Edward had a sudden vision of Bella as a mother: playing with their son and daughter just like she was playing with Taylor and Lily now. He couldn't catch his breath at the beauty of the sudden image; Zia turned and looked at him shrewdly. As it faded into a future that could never be, he felt a rush of guilt and despair that he couldn't hide from the golden presence of Bella in his head.
There are some futures I can never give her. I don't want to take this from her. Her face just now...does Bella dream of motherhood?
Bella stood immediately in reaction to his crimson despair, handing Taylor to Rosalie and telling the kids it was time for her to go. The kids let them both leave reluctantly, and Edward was a little surprised when Nicolai ran to hug him fiercely. Ntombi and Lily waved goodbye clumsily, already running towards where Esme was approaching with the promised dessert. Jasper and Alice flashed to help his mother carry her things, while Emmett set up the table and Rosalie spread blankets on the ground. The Queen's guard trailed behind the kids, the fierce warriors wearing doting expressions and happy smiles. Bella came to Edward's side, putting her hands around his waist as she leaned into him.
"I didn't mean to make you leave."
"Are you kidding? The kids like me fine, but I'm no competition with cake and punch. Taylor needs a nap; the kids will head home soon. Risa and Lorelai will have just enough time to spin a story this way, and we can take our time heading back."
The Archer
Edward walked back to the Castle with Bella in comfortable silence; they meandered along the path as people waved at them. He wanted to ask Bella about the kids, about the infant in her nightmares. His thoughts preoccupied him, and he fell behind as Bella followed a ledge upward, balancing on the edge of an elevated flowerbed with arms outstretched. She turned to look back at him, absorbing his pensive expression.
"Edward. Whatever you want to talk to me about, it's okay you know. The shadow on your face is worrying me. Just ask."
Edward took the jump. "Bella, do you want children?"
His lover stopped walking in her shock, and her sudden stop made her teeter on the narrow ledge. Edward caught her as she fell, cradling her close to his chest. Her eyes were wide and startled as they met his.
"Oh. Oh, Edward, I thought you would have realized." Her face fell quickly, devastated, and she motioned for him to set her on her feet. She focused on brushing off her clothes as she muttered at him. "I like kids; really, I do. But there is a reason there are so few Fae children in Camp. It is incredibly difficult for any Fae woman to conceive, and I will never have children."
Edward could see right through her avoidance and reached for her, taking her hand and pulling them off the path gently. He led Bella over to a small bench nestled between an arch and a weeping redbud tree, obscured from sight by draping vines of purple flowers. He set her in his lap and brushed her hair from her face as she sighed her defeat and continued.
"Normally, as Queen, it would be my duty to at least attempt to produce an heir. The Smith line ended with Adeline, so I suppose the recessives will be wiped out with me."
"Wouldn't that increase the pressure on you to conceive?" Edward was confused now.
"I can't conceive. It's not possible, Edward. Not everyone is aware of it, but Josephat broke the news to the ruling council after I ran off."
"Why? If you found a nice man, a human or a Fae..." Edward winced at the thought of just how eager Marcos would probably be to donate to the cause, and he would be the first in a very long line. But if Bella wanted children, he knew he would encourage her however he could.
His love looked at him sadly, caressing his face from brow to jaw. "Edward, you're a vampire. I don't want anyone else, not even for a purpose. But even if you weren't, it wouldn't matter. There's too much damage."
Bella looked away from him, dark memories playing on her face. "I told you. Demetri was very good at his job."
Edward was shocked into utter stillness at his own idiocy. Of course. Bella had not been healed from her wounds with magick; that's why she was covered in scars. There would've been extensive damage from the torture she had received, some of which had remained untreated. "Bella, my Bella. Oh love, I'm so sorry."
He gathered her close to him until she was settled against him chest-to-chest, not terribly different from how Bella had held Ntombi while they played the game.
"It is just one theft among many, Edward. Don't feel guilty. Besides, I get all the joy I need from the children in Camp. It's very "a village to raise a child" around here. There are plenty of Fae women who cannot conceive, and parenthood is a gift meant to be shared. I experienced parenthood, Edward, as twisted and short-lived as it was. Children break your heart, it's what they do." She shrugged as though it didn't hurt her, but Edward could see the wound in her aura, a dark tangle he couldn't get close to.
Edward was silent, unsure of what to say - whether asking about the baby would help or hurt. Before he decided, Bella continued, burying her forehead into where his neck met his shoulder.
"We called her Rockabye, after the lullaby her mother sang to her as she died. She was amazing, Edward, a ray of light in a dark place. I've never searched for her, never tried to See. I'm not sure I even had enough of a connection to her to try, and it would break my heart all over again if I learned she was gone. Me and Addy, we'd sing to her, hold her close. She was so weak. It was hard to get her enough food. Addy was closer to her than me, absolutely desperate to save her. I was more guarded by that point, cautious of any connections that could be used as weapons."
She went lax in his embrace, clutching him closer still.
"I do wonder, sometimes, if it was worth it in the end. I love to imagine a golden childhood for Josephat's daughter. I know it kills him, not knowing where she is. Sometimes, it kills me too."
"Don't you know where you sent her? You could look for her."
"No. The Guard I sent her with...her swore a life-debt to me, an unwilling one. He promised to care for Rockabye in exchange for his life. One of the conditions is that I never try to See her. I could lead the Master right to her doorstep. Her guard knows how to contact me, if he should find himself in over his head. He just better hope he never has to do so."
Bella's face had grown darker as she spoke, but she shook it off and tangled her fingers in Edward's long ones. Her voice was strangely bright. "I'd die for her, just like I'd die for you. She's...she's the last member of my family, even if she's not mine."
Edward kissed her hard. "Stop talking, Bella. Nothing is worth your life. I will not let you go."
She turned serious again. "What if you had to?"
"No. Don't do this." Edward shifted his hold on her, setting her on the bench next to him so he could get up to pace.
"Listen to me, Edward. Things are changing; I have a new hope now: the hope that you and your family can lead the Fae to a better tomorrow than the one Master has planned." Bella was beckoning him to listen with one hand, but Edward ignored her in favor of running his hands through his hair in frustration.
"Stop. I am not Atlas, my love."
Now Bella was desperate, her eyes begging. "Hear me out. Carlisle has such faith, Edward. He could lead the Fae to greater conscience, show them the path to true healing."
"I can't. I can't hear this."
Her speech was speeding up as her beautiful mind envisioned an empty future. "And Alice? God, Edward Alice has more hope in her than anyone I have ever met. Look at all Esme has already done for the Fae! She's a keen listening ear for half the Castle."
Edward was weak at the knees as he felt Bella's golden mind follow the thought to practical applications, thinking of her will and testament; looking for ways around the lines of succession. "No more. Make it stop, Bella."
"Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie? Your family could carry this fight on, you could save them. I can't give more than I have in me, Edward. But you won't be without purpose after I die."
"There could never be any purpose without you."
"Edward...I would give it to you. If you swear to carry on this fight after I am gone, I will give you my signet ring."
"Keep it."
"Edward."
Edward slammed Bella into the trunk of the tree with force, desperate to make the empty vision stop. "There will be no tomorrow after you are gone, Bella. Not for me. Leave your last wishes with someone else. I won't last long enough to share them. I can't give you that."
He kissed her with the edge of teeth in it; the rosebud tree bloomed around him, colors changing to a vivid crimson and a glittering gold.
Bella raised an eyebrow at him as he pulled away. "Okay, Edward. Relax, I'll take care of it." She motioned to the foliage. "Someone's a romantic."
Edward growled and pressed her back into the tree urgently. "Bella..."
She laughed brightly. "What? Come on, Edward and Bella, sitting in a tree..."
Edward growled and kissed her like he would never let her go.
Rockabye
Guard was reading by the doorway to the bedroom that Rockabye shared with Sarai, his soft tenor lulling her into that place between asleep and awake where she felt like she was floating. In the other bed, Sarai yipped and turned in her sleep, turning to stretch one hand towards where Rockabye lay. Rockabye took her companion's hand without looking, not breaking her wide-eyed stare as she listened to Guard read.
"...and they lived happily ever after." Guard closed the book and came to sit on the side of her bed, running a hand over her forehead and through her hair, still damp from her bath. "Rockabye, you should be sleeping by now. What's on your mind, little one?"
"Mother will save me."
Guard went motionless, his hand still tangled in her hair. "Rockabye, what do you mean?"
"When Bad Men come for me. You don't need to worry. They won't hurt me, and Mother will save me, and we'll live happily ever after. I just have to be brave, like the people in the story. You have to be brave too. She will be angry at first."
"Rockabye-"
"I'm going on a trip, you'll see. I have to. It's not 'cause I'm not happy or 'cause you did something wrong, it's just that it's time now, time for me to know Mother and Father and Auntie Alice and my family. It'll be hard for a while, but then we'll get to be happy ever after! Sarai too. Sarai wouldn't get to come if you had to choose between me or her. You'd leave her behind, you'd pick me first. You can't do that, Guard. You have to be a Guard for both of us, it's your destiny."
"Rockabye, you are my sworn charge. I love Sarai, you know that, but it is my destiny to guard you."
"You promised! I know you promised Mother...but you promised me too. Sarai is for me, she's my gift to myself. You promised."
"Rockabye, little one, is this why you have been asking me to take Sarai and leave you? Is there something dangerous coming? Little one, you know you must tell me if there are Bad Men coming."
Rockabye squirmed only slightly. She hated lying, it was a Bad Thing. But Mommy and Addy said sometimes you had to do Bad Things to keep worse things from happening. Besides, Mother would come for her.
"You don't have to leave anymore. It will be hard for a while, and then we'll get to be happy ever after."
Guard still looked suspicious, but he sighed and combed the tangles out from her hair before he turned to head to his post outside the door. "Get some sleep, Rockabye. Tomorrow is a full moon; you won't get much rest for the next few days, and I can't have you falling behind in your studies. Goodnight, little one."
"Goodnight, Guard. Thank you for keeping me safe. I love you." Rockabye felt squirmy and guilty inside as she threw back the covers and hugged Guard until her arms felt like jelly and he was smiling again.
"I love you too, little one. Sleep now."
When Guard had tucked her in and closed the door behind him, she waited until she couldn't hear the familiar slide of his knife against the whetstone anymore, and then she waited a little more just to be safe. She was quiet as a mouse when she slipped into the bed under the window.
"Sarai." Rockabye shook her a little harder. "Sarai."
"Huh- Rockabye, I was sleeping. What's the matter, why are you so pale? Did you have the dream again?"
"Yes. It's getting stronger, coming closer. Sarai...Sarai, I have to leave now, for a little while. You have to be brave, okay? I'll come back for you. With Mother, and your daddy too."
"Rockabye, no!" Sarai's eyes were wide and worried. "What if the Bad Men find you?"
"They will. But Mother will come for me. You have to be okay, sissy. This is the only way you get to be happy ever after too."
"But!"
"No. No more talking, sissy. Come on, give me a boost. I gotta go out the window or Guard will wake up."
"Rockabye, you should tell Guard about the dream."
"No, it won't work. Come on, sissy, trust me. I know what I have to do."
Sarai was pale, but she helped boost Rockabye out of the window anyway. "Wait! Here, take my daddy's necklace. It always makes me feel brave and daddy said it protects me. You should take it, I have Guard to protect me, you'll be alone. Maybe it will protect you from the Bad Men."
Rockabye nodded and kissed her sissy's cheek as she whispered back. "I love you, sissy. It'll be okay, you'll see."
Rockabye walked and walked and walked some more, until she could see the sun over the hills in the distance. She was tired and cold and getting really hungry when she finally saw the black flag in the valley below her. She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders, clutching at the necklace in her pocket and telling herself to be brave like her mother and Addy. Mommy whispered comfort in Rockabye's head as she walked into the Bad Men's camp.
It would be okay. Mother would come for her.
They would live happy ever after, Rockabye knew.
She just had to be brave.