Chapter 52

She watched Daryl at the fences killing the walkers. He didn't stand along side the others that took on the task, he separated himself from them and worked twice as fast. It wasn't something he done to waste time or help out, it was clear to anyone that knew Daryl, that he was down there because he wanted to be. He wanted to take out all of his anger out on something and he wanted to do it alone with out anyone questioning him.

For weeks now, she had been working with Rick to organise the storage room and though they didn't really talk unless necessary, she knew, like her, that Rick was watching Daryl closely. So she wasn't to surprised when he finally questioned her.

"How's Daryl" Rick asked as he put another box on the table for her to inspect.

"Why do you ask?" she questioned as she began recording the contents of the box onto her clipboard.

Rick shrugged, doing his best to maintain his casual tone.

"He's been acting...different." He explained as he pulled out another unmarked box.

Carol know exactly what Rick was talking about. He wasn't even the first person to ask her.

Over the past few weeks, Sophia, Glenn, Michonne and Tyreese had all asked her if Daryl was ok. But she had smiled and told them he was fine, she'd told them that he was still adjusting and soon he would settle in. But Carol didn't know if it was true. Gor some reason or another, as she stood there with Rick, she didn't feel like lying to him today.

"Acting is definitely the word I'd use." She agreed as she continued working.

She pulled out a can and stared at the expiration date, far longer then was necessary before letting out a sigh and shaking her head.

"He just wants everything to be ok... he wants to be ok." She explained, without taking her eyes of the task before her.

"Has he said anything about what happened out there." Rick asked, his tone growing more serious.

"Daryl's never been that biggest conversationalist." She answered quietly, causing Rick to chuckle lightly.

"No one can accuse the guy of running his mouth, that's for sure." Rick added glancing in Daryl's direction for a brief moment.

"Has he said anything to you about it?" Carol asked, watching as Ricks face twisted slightly from the question.

Rick looked uncomfortable with the question and it was obvious that he didn't want to respond.

"Not really. Nothing I'd want to repeat..." Rick stopped then and looked over at her shaking his head nervously. "I just dont want to-"

"It's ok, Rick. I understand." She told him, before he could continue.

And she did understand. Rick had worked hard to gain Daryl's trust and she knew now that Rick valued it.

It took a lot for Daryl to trust him after everything that had happened at the quarry and campsite, if he messed up again, she doubted he would be given another chance. So she didn't push it any further.

"He'll come around. He always does." Rick said as he smiled and ducked his head to open another one of the boxes.

"At least Sophia seems to be doing better." He said, changing the subject.

Carol couldn't help but smile in return. "She does" She agreed with a nod.

It seemed like everyday that passed by, Sophia became more and more comfortable in her new home. She had learnt to avoid any area where she would be faced with Ed and ever since he had been restricted to his own block, she had noticed that Sophia moved through the prison with confidence that she was safe.

She wasn't winning any popularity contests amongst the other children but that didn't seem to bother her. She was happy to spend her days with Carl and Hershel, finding ways to be useful. And in the afternoons she would play with her little brother and tell Carol and Daryl about her day.

"I'm grateful for her" Rick told her, meeting her eyes to show his sincerity.

"And I'm grateful for Carl. I'm happy they have each other."

She could see Carl and Sophia near the barn, she couldn't work out what they were doing, but she could almost guarantee that they were working. They didn't seem to do anything, that wasn't of use, and even though She knew that the idea of children forgetting how to play was heartbreaking, it was often comforting to know that they were spending their days learning how to survive. It was a new world, a dangerous world that didn't care if you were a child or not. And she could sleep at night knowing she had a daughter that knew how to make it under the harsh conditions.

Daryl chuckled and took another dramatic drag on his cigarette, buying himself some time before he was forced to answer her.

"Please" Sophia added, hoping that using some manners would persuade him.

"Ya' Ma...she might not like it." He pointed out, as he looked around to make sure no one was listening.

"I wanna show her." Sophia said, her expression growing serious.

Daryl nodded, he didn't know if he much liked the idea and he wasn't really sure how much Carol would like the idea either. Doing anything that could potentially put Sophia in danger was never a good idea.

"I don't know Soph." He told her , shrugging and looking our towards the fence.

"I know that-..."

She stopped abruptly and dropped her eyes.

He looked down at her, his brow creased as he examined her face.

The sudden sadness that laced her features had come out of nowhere and it had him retracing their conversation to see if he had said something to upset her.

She folded her arms around herself and he could see that she was debating whether or not to continue.

"What?" he questioned, as he stared at her.

She took a deep breath and shook her head, before tightening the hold she had on herself.

"I know I ask you to do a lot for me" She said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "And- I know you do a lot for me. I don't mean too...I just..."

Daryl frowned and shook his head as Sophia spoke.

He crouched down, as he often did when he wanted to assure himself that Sophia was listening to him. That she was taking in his words as he had intended her to receive them.

He knew, that more often than not, people took him the wrong way , or he said things the wrong way. And mostly he didn't really care. But there were a few people still left on this earth, that he did care about. People who he wanted to understand him.

He lined his eyes with hers and smiled slightly when she looked over at him.

"This aint about you askin' too much or anything like that" he promised her, assuring he kept his tone levelled and soft as he spoke. "I got no problem doin' shit for you. No problem at all"

Sophia stared into his eyes and gnawed at her lower lip. The expression on her face, was enough to show him that this was something that concerned her. It was something she had been thinking about a lot.

It made his stomach turn to know she had been fretting over it in silence .

"I think that's what we're supposed to do for each other. Don't you think?" he questioned.

"I don't help you any more" she said told him, as though she was admitting something horrible she had done.

"You look after your brother and ya' Ma'. You work all day with Herschel" he told her, his eyes squinting slightly as he watched her continue to shake her head slightly.

"That doesn't help you though" She mumbled, as she dropped her eyes from his and looked down, watching her foot as she began digging the tip of her shoe into the dirt.

"Makes me damn proud." He told her firmly.

Her head snapped up, her mouth open and her wide eyes bore into his again. "Yeah?"

He knew that having Ed as a father had messed Sophia up, just as much as it had messed up Carol, having the asshole as her husband.

And he knew from his own experiences, that sometimes you needed to be reassured that you weren't a problem.

"I don't ever want you to think your a burden to me ok? You're-...well, you're far from it."

He watched her suck in a deep breath and when she released, her whole body seemed to relax slightly.

"There ain't a single second of the day when I think anything bad about you" He added, making sure she knew without any doubt that she wasn't some problem he had to deal with.

He held her gaze until she finally smiled at him and he returned it, nodding and rising back up to lean into the wall and finish his smoke.

"I just don't know how Carol will feel about it. Really, I don't." He told her, feeling himself give into her suggestion.

"This is important to me." She pressed, looking up at him with the same pleading expression he'd seen from the cat when he had something it wanted.

Daryl nodded and took another quick drag of his cigarette.

He let out a huff and shrugged. "I'll talk to Rick"

"Really?" Sophia squeaked as her whole body tensed up.

"Why the fuck not" he said as he tossed his free hand up in surrender.

"What about Mom?" Sophia questioned.

"The less time she's got to think about it the better" he said as he threw the remains of his smoke to the dirt.

"We're just gonna spring it on her?"

Daryl raised his brow. "You got a better idea?"

Sophia considered his question for a long moment, gnawing at her lower lip again. Until she shook her head. "No. I guess not."

"Hey, wake up." Daryl said from above her, lightly rubbing her shoulder.

"Is everything ok?" she asked, desperately trying to pull herself from the fresh dreams that she was in only moments ago.

"Everything's fine." Daryl promised, standing himself up.

Carols eyes grew wide and he knew she had just noticed that he was fully dressed.

"Hayes...Sophia?" She questioned as she sat herself up.

"He's with Rick. Tucked in with Judy. He's safe. Soph's waitin' on us"

"Why Is he with Rick? Waiting for what? What's going on?" she mumbled rubbing at her face.

He knew she must have been able to read him fairly well, because she didn't seem all too concerned, just confused.

She took the clothes he passed her and started walking from the cell, without answering any of her questions.

"Get dressed. We'll be in the hall." He told her as he slipped out.

"Where are we going" Carol asked as she walked alongside Daryl, watching Sophia march ahead of them.

"Sophia wanted to make you breakfast." Daryl told her as he walked with his head ducked down.

"Oh...well, why-" she asked him, creasing her brow in confusion.

"We're leaving the prison" he told her as she lit another cigarette, by using the one he was already smoking.

"Daryl I don't think this is a good idea"

Daryl nodded.

"I didn't think you would. And I understand why. Ain't no one gonna call you crazy for thinking this is a bad idea."

He stopped then and took her hand in his, leaving Sophia to walk of ahead of them.

"It's important to her." He told her quietly.

"Why?" she asked with a slight shake of her head.

He shrugged, searching his mind for a way to explain himself.

"Kinda like those kids that are always hollerin at their parents to watch them do something they think is worth seeing."

Carol looked back toward Sophia, studying the kid for a long moment before she spoke again.

"She wants me to see her"

The further they got from the prison the more quiet both Daryl and Sophia became. She watched on as they walked a few steps ahead of her.

She had intentionally let them walk in front of her. She wanted to see what they would have looked like when they were out here alone.

There had been nights, since they arrived at the prison that she did wonder what it must have been like. She knew there was walkers and there was danger at every turn, but what she was curious about, was what they were like together. What was the dynamic, what did they talk about, what did they do to fill the time when they weren't fighting for survival. And she knew that a short trip into the woods wouldn't give her any answers, but she still couldn't help but watch them closely, hoping to get a peek into that big chunk of time that they had spent out here alone.

It was almost as though they went into auto pilot and Carol did all she could not to disrupt it.

Carol wondered if either of them knew how far away from the safety of the prison walls they were.

For awhile She was concerned that they were caught in a daze, until they finally started talking.

"Bit of a delayed reaction" Daryl said with a sly smile.

"I was thinking the same thing" she told him raising her brow

"how in the hell was it my fault" Daryl laughed out.

"You took to long to shoot" she casually as she started walking away.

"By the time you spotted it the damn thing was gone"

"Bullshit. You took to long. You're too old for this now." she told him, keeping her voice low as she started scanning the area again

"An old, old, old man" Sophia muttered quietly causing Daryl to chuckle quietly and give her a playful shove.

They grew quiet again and both started slowing their steps.

"there!" Sophia urgently whispered, pointing her finger.

Daryl wasted no time. His body turned toward where Sophia had pointed, he raised his crossbow, releasing the bolt almost instantly.

It all happened so fast, so fast that Carol never saw the rabbit until the bolt took it down. The walker that appeared through the trees had Carol reaching for her knife but it wasn't at all needed from her.

What she did see was the walker headed towards the rabbit and she watched in complete disbelief as her daughter pulled her machete from its holster and approached the walker with complete confidence.

Instinctively, she took two quick steps forward, ready to protect her daughter from the monster, but she was stopped in her tracks.

Daryl didn't look back at her, he simply stretched his arm back, stopping her from intervening.

"No way, buddy. That's my bunny" Sophia said as she rammed the machete up under the walkers chin.

Before the corpse hit the ground Sophia was picking the rabbit up and dangling it from it ears.

"Look how fat this thing is" she said too Daryl with a laugh as she retrieved the bolt from its head.

"right in the eye. Pretty good for an old man" he pointed out, raising his brow.

"Lucky shot." Sophia said as she tucked the rabbit under her arm, freeing her hands so she could wipe her machete clean as she walked further into the woods.

Daryl looked over his shoulder and met her eyes with concern, before he ducked his head and followed Sophia.

And Carol didn't know what he found in her expression, because she was far to stunned to control it, but what ever he had seen, clearly made him nervous.

She didn't know what made this particular spot better than any others, but they had both chosen it without any verbal agreement. The silent decision they'd made, had her looking around, wondering what they had both seen to make them both stop at the same time.

Daryl pulled his lighter out and stepped to Sophias side "you want me to..."

"you promised." Sophia interrupted quickly.

"what about the fire?" he questioned.

"Sit!" Sophia snapped , pointing to the log.

He shook his head "be quicker if I-"

Sophia reached out and snatched the lighter from his hand and smiled.

"You runnin late for somethin'? Busy day planned?" she questioned in a playful tone before she turned her back and went to work.

"I swear I didn't have her doin all that by herself." He laughed as he started taking his boots off.

"But she could if she needed to, right?." She pointed out while she changed her clothes.

His tone was light and casual and hers was flat serious. And hr noticed instantly.

"You ok?" he asked as he slid his shoes under bed.

"I'm fine. It's just not what I expected." She said, putting her shirt on.

"seeing her do all that, it freak you out?" Daryl asked, clearly nervous.

She shook her head."It was just -." She started but couldn't finish. She knew, like most conversations they had, once she brought anything to do with how he was acting, he would shut down.

"What?" he pressed, with his shoulders stiffening.

She sighed heavily and crossed her arms. "You seem calmer out there. Happier" she said , standing over him.

He frowned deeply and his upped lip curled slightly.

"You think I'm not happy being with you? With the kids?" he asked, trying to contain whatever was bubbling up inside him.

She shook her head almost frantically and she noticed his face soften with the action.

"I didn't say that" she said far too quickly.

She watched as he forced himself to relax before he continued on. "then what are you saying?"

"I just didn't expect you to look so comfortable out there. Relaxed?" She shrugged, tightening her hold on herself "I don't know. It just looks like it's easier for you out there."

He released a humourless laugh, that was somehow dark and hopeless, all at once.

"Well of course it's easier." He told her with a defeated expression that matched his tone.

She met his eyes with confusion and stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate.

"It's funny that you say I look relaxed out there. I ain't." He explained shaking his head.

She sat down on the mattress beside him and turned her body to face his.

He chewed at his lower lip before he looked over at her with hooded eyes, eyes that revealed just how exhausted he was from the long day.

"You can't relax out there, not for a second. And in a way, that makes it easier.

"I don't understand". She told him, watching him closely, hoping to find the answer she needed somewhere on his face.

She was surprised when he nodded to himself and started explaining himself. It was one of the few times, since he and Sophia had arrived here, that he looked willing to let her in his head.

"When I'm here. In these walls , I don't have to worry about where Soph is every minute, I don't have to worry about where we're gonna sleep, what we're gonna eat. I don't have to think about the walkers at all if I don't wanna.

"Out there", he said nodding towards the door to their cell.

"That's all I think about. There isn't a minute of time to think about anything else."

He shrugged and shook his head, giving himself a moment before he finished his thought.

"I can't dwell on shit when I'm out there. I cant run things through my head again and again. I don't have the time."

"But when you're here?" she asked in hushed tone.

She nodded her head as he held her gaze. She got the answer she needed from his eyes, she didn't need him to say anything more.