Chapter 98, everybody! Happy belated New Year! :D

So FFN finally fixed their stuff but in the meantime I've been porting this sucker over to AO3—technically about a third of the way through so have a new chapter to celebrate.

And if you saw this without the something different section...you probably did but shh.

Pretty sure Saphroneth is the one I saw who had Meowth sit the exam with the rest of them—it's a funny enough event and was fun to write. Also yes there's a guy in the DevonCorp building in Hoenn (in Gen III at least) who was working on a Pokémon translator—I remember constantly checking in with him hoping he'd get some progress going. XD

Also that isn't exaggeration that was one of the canon question and answers in the actual episode.

And now for reviews: thanks to griffin blackwood, Dragonkeeper10, thor94, BlastShooter87, na zhi bi ge, and Speed Reader for the reviews! Appreciated seeing y'all while FFN was broken. :)

Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo

And now, for something completely different:

Chingling, bright and glistenin'. On the route, Whismur are whisperin'. A beautiful sight, we're catching tonight, walking in a Poké-wonderland!

Misty had come back with lunch before they moved too far.

"So how are we doing?" she asked as she handed them their lunches.

"Dying slowly," Ash moaned, back to sitting on the floor.

"I've been trying to distract him by quizzing him on Pokémon," Brock said, accepting his lunch with gratitude. "It's been an event."

"And you guys are still in sight of the door," Misty observed. "Wow."

"Please don't remind me."

"Well in the meantime," Misty said, divvying up the food. "Dig in, you're going to need your strength for this."

"I'm going to need a lot more strength than just food will give me," Ash muttered, apparently praying very hard. Looking at the line, Misty felt that.

And after about five minutes of standing up and eating without the line moving, she decided to join Ash on the floor.

"Seriously?" Brock asked, arching an eyebrow.

"We're going to be standing in line enough," Misty said. "I want to conserve my energy."

"Same," Ash agreed.

The food was long since gone and the line had moved a little—the sun was making more progress than they were, casting long shadows and bars of orange light across the lobby. Ash and Misty were half-dozing, leaning against Brock, who had apparently locked his legs and was remaining upright through sheer force of will.

Misty snorted, started awake. "Wha happened—how far are we?"

"Still a good hour," Brock sighed. "Boy I hope they don't close at five."

"If they try to turn us away now I'm going to be having words with somebody."

"I'm sure."

"Now remember, when we get up there I want the number seven—seven is my lucky number."

"Jess, seven is everyone's lucky number."

"I know those voices," Misty said, looking around—

They had to take a nonplussed moment—as did Team Rocket, dressed in civilian clothes and noticing them as well.

"Oh great," Jessie muttered.

"No funny business, we're off da clock," Meowth said.

"Technically we're on the clock, but it's not like, working hours, so…." James hedged.

"Wait, what are you guys doing here?" Ash asked.

"Passin' da test lowers our insurance rates," Meowth said.

"That makes sense," Brock said, nodding.

"What insurance?" Ash asked—winced as about a dozen people within earshot shot back Aflac in a passible imitation of a Ducklett's quack.

"Let's go with general adult stuff," Brock decided.

"Ah."

James had been nice enough to bring card games, which distracted the rest of them until dinner, which Brock volunteered for. Dinner had disappeared by the time they finally got to the counter.

"Do you have a number with seven in it," Jessie demanded.

"Will you accept number 1,704?" the registrar asked.

"I'll take it."

"I'm entering too," Misty said. "After standing in line for so long I'd better get something out of the deal."

"Same," Brock said.

The registrar accepted the human participants (five bucks a pop, ouch), blinked when Meowth hopped up. "Now hold it, all Pokémon have to be left at the front desk."

"I'm registering," Meowth said, waving a bill.

The registrar blinked. "Uh…Pokémon aren't allowed to sit the exam."

"WHAT!? Dis is discrimination I oughta sue."

The registrar looked like he was scrambling for an excuse. "Well…generally it's an accessibility issue, and most people agree that Pokémon would be knowledgeable about Pokémon anyway, so it wrecks the bell curve."

Everyone agreed that these were fair points.

"I should still be able ta sit da exam," Meowth insisted, stomping a foot. "Do youse know how hard I worked ta learn ta read and write human speak?"

"Uhh…sit over there, let me call my boss," the registrar said, waving them over to a bench as he grabbed a phone.

"So this never occurred to me," Ash said once they were seated.

"I'm guessing it usually doesn't occur at all," Brock said. "I'm reasonably sure we've already established that Meowth is a special case."

"Meowth dat's right," Meowth said, nodding. "Most Pokémon don't bother learnin' da language an' writin', most of da time it's not worth da effort."

"I guess it's basically learning a second language," Misty mused. "You'd think by that logic we'd be able to learn…I don't know, Pokénese."

"R&D has been looking into it," James said. "Someone at DevonCorp in Hoenn is working on a device that can translate Pokémon speak, but it's slow going."

"Pika pi," Pikachu said.

"Dat's a fair point," Meowth said, adopting a pensive stance. "Most Pokémon wouldn't even bother because most Pokémon live lives entirely differently dan humans do. It just kinda rankles dat I wouldn't be able ta sit this."

"Is the insurance rate really worth it?" Ash asked.

"Lower insurance rates translates to more money in your own pocket," Jessie said. "Yes, it's worth it."

"And you need insurance why?"

"So when a Charizard burns down your gym you can rebuild it," Brock said. "Granted, getting the company to pay back out is a hassle…."

"I don't think I'm ready for adulthood yet," Ash said.

"None of us are," James sighed.

The thing with Meowth was cleared up by having him sit the test in a different room, since the proctor reasoned that his Pokémon status would make the second half of the test go differently—Pikachu volunteered when he realized that taking the test was an option, pawed at Ash and chittered at him.

"He wants ta know if he can borrow five bucks," Meowth told him.

The next day saw Meowth and Pikachu heading for a different room as the humans checked their Pokéballs at the door.

"Okay, so this took some work to figure out how to do this," the proctor said, looking like he had decided on baffled as his resting expression. "First…can either of you speak Esperanto?"

Meowth raised his paw.

"Okay…can either of you read Unown?"

Meowth kept his paw up.

"Can you understand Esperanto?"

Pikachu chittered at Meowth, raised his paw when Meowth nodded.

"Okay…so. The test is multiple choice, I will read the question and answers out, the format will consistently be like this," he said, indicating the screen. "A, B, C, D. If we have a true or false it will be formatted like this, true, false. The screens in front of you have buttons on the side coinciding with these answers, you press those to select your answer. Are you ready?" The two Pokémon nodded. "Okay then, let's get started."

About the fifth question in, Pikachu was regretting this decision.

"So I'm thinking that whole 'Pokémon know Pokémon better' thing was Tauros bull," he muttered at Meowth.

"Me too," Meowth sighed. "Boy I hope da others are doing better."

They were not.

The perfectly round Pokémon being Jigglypuff from above sort of set the standard for how the test went, and by the time they were done Ash was reasonably certain that any brains he had had melted out of his ears a long while ago.

"I think I'd rather go gym hunting," Ash moaned when they finished.

"Me too," James agreed, doing a good impression of a Salamence Dali painting on the desk. "But that doesn't lower the insurance rates."

"Question," Misty said to Brock. "This doesn't affect our gym leader status, does it?"

"Doubtful," Brock told her. "I told you, it takes a lot to disqualify a person from being a gym leader."

"Good," Misty sighed—a sentiment she continued to have when they went out to see the board with all their scores on it.

"So middling is still good," she said. "But the Jigglypuff one was still a cheap trick."

"Having non-native Pokémon was too, but theoretically it should have made it easier since the Indigo League prioritizes native Pokémon."

"It didn't."

"It didn't," Brock said. "Ash did you find your name yet?"

"Oh come on!"

"That was a yes," Misty said, heading towards the far end of the billboard. "How bad is it?"

In response, Ash pointed at his billing—she winced in sympathy. He wasn't the lowest ranking tester, but he was pretty far down there.

James wasn't too far off. "Boy I hope this doesn't negatively impact those rates."

"Do I dare ask how you did?" Jessie said as Meowth and Pikachu came up.

"I can honestly say dat I was da tops in my class!" Meowth said, chest puffed out.

"Is that because your only competition was a Pikachu who can't read?"

"Pi," Pikachu sighed, sagging.

"It's okay, Pikachu, we can rank low together," Ash told him.

"So my understanding is that the second half of the test is practical battles," Brock said. "We'll be using those belts they're handing out, which I guess tests our ability to think on our feet."

"Pika!" Pikachu barked, perking back up, paws clenched and cheeks sparking.

"I don't tink dey'll let youse do the actual battling," Meowth told him.

"But this is a good thing!" Ash exclaimed, hopping back up. "I've got to do better at the actual battling!"

"You've got nowhere to go but up," Misty told him.

Meowth and Pikachu were taken to a different arena, and Ash's assessment was right: he did do better with battling, despite the fact that he ended up with a roster that strongly resembled Team Rocket's. Having Jessie and James kibitzing either helped or hindered, Ash wasn't sure which.

"Okay that's the last of the battles," the instructor said. "We'll average the two halves and post the results tomorrow, thank you!"

"I can't stand test anxiety," James sighed.

"We can eat dinner and focus on something else," Misty said.

"So how'd you guys do?" Ash asked when Meowth and Pikachu came out.

"So I tink I did well," Meowth said. "He got disqualified doh—someting about attacking the opposin' Pokémon himself insteada ordering da other 'mon ta do it."

"Chu," Pikachu sighed.

According to the final scores the next day, Ash did not pass, due to the two halves averaging out to well below eighty percent.

"Ah man," Ash groaned.

"Geez, maybe five people passed," Misty said.

"Probably due to those questions," Brock said. "They said they'll be running another test next week."

"No, nuh-uh, I'm not sitting through that again."

"I'm going to stick to challenging gyms," Ash said.

"And we're going to have to readjust the budget again," Jessie muttered to James.

"Well at least one o' us got wat we wanted," Meowth said, polishing his exam badge.