Disclaimer: Detective Conan and all its characters belong to Aoyama Gosho. I own nothing but this fanfic and my OCs.

Chapter 17

A Problem of Trust

It took four days for Tanaka to open up to her teacher and school counselor. Before that, Itou kept persuading her relentlessly while at the same time also doing her best to be there for her. It was quite a good result, Fujiwara told Asagi one day after he received the latest progress report from the counselor. Tanaka was not a sociable person, so all of them had expected that she would take more time to open up.

According to Fujiwara, Tanaka did not want to meet the counselor alone. She still required Itou or her teacher to accompany her. He also did not want to go to the counseling room due to its bad image among students, so her consultation would be done through the phone or meeting outside the school.

"So far, everything is fine with her," Fujiwara reported in front of the student council after the tenth day of Tanaka's consultation. "She never skipped regular consultation. Itou-senpai and her homeroom teacher accompany her alternately."

"What about her suicidal thoughts? Does she still have it?" Inaba asked.

"Yes, most likely. That thought has been on her mind for more than six months. It won't be easy to get rid of it."

"That's a long time," Asagi commented. "How did it start exactly? What happened?"

"As you already know, it all started when Tanaka-senpai fell in love with her adopted older brother. He, by the way, is three years older than her," Fujiwara started explaining. "She's been in love with him since she was still in middle school, but she didn't dare to confess because, at that time, her brother already had a girlfriend."

"Let me guess. He broke up," Yoshino interjected.

"Indeed," Fujiwara nodded. "Two years dating, then they broke up. Tanaka-senpai was happy because she thought she finally had a chance. Unfortunately, though, when she had gathered the courage to confess, she overheard her brother talking with their father about his plan for university and if he wanted to attend juku to help him pass the entrance exams. In their conversation, she heard that his brother had no plans of dating until he got accepted to university. Apparently, he wanted to focus on his study."

"So that's how she lost her chance again," Asakura concluded. "What happened after that?"

"She lost her chance again, yes, but she did not lose her hope. In fact, her brother's decision also made her determined to graduate with high scores. She ranked fifth in her middle school when she graduated, so her determination definitely paid off. Her brother also got accepted into the university he dreamed of," Fujiwara said. "Actually, she could confess during this time, when the atmosphere was good and everyone was happy, but she didn't because her brother decided to live in a dormitory. He said it was to help him learn how to live independently. At that time, Tanaka-senpai was being considerate. She only wanted her brother to adapt to his new life. She thought she could confess at a later time when her brother had settled down."

"But?"

"But she was wrong. Terribly wrong. She thought she could still hope, but actually, she'd lost her chance the moment her brother decided to move out."

"You mean he already knew her feelings even before that?" Asagi asked.

"Yes," Fujiwara nodded again. "Tanaka-senpai found out about it during the time she was still a sophomore. Her brother talked with her father in the middle of the night when everyone was supposed to sleep. They talked about him going abroad for the student exchange program. She was fine with it, but what made her shocked was his brother's reason for going abroad. He told his father that it was for his sister's sake, that he could never reciprocate her feelings, so before it grew bigger that it made her confess, he thought that it would be best if he put appropriate distance between them. And what was more shocking was their father—he had known for a long time that his daughter had feelings towards his adopted son. Tanaka-senpai started to break down since that day."

"Appropriate distance…" Asagi trailed off. "Going abroad is appropriate, huh?"

"Honestly, I can't blame him," his classmate said. "After all, he's been aware that his sister was attracted to him since he was still in his senior year in high school. He decided to live in the dorm to avoid her, to put some distance in the hope that she would forget her feelings for him, but it was to no avail. I think that's why he decided to take a more drastic measure: going abroad to widen the distance between them. He didn't want to hear her confession because he couldn't reciprocate her. If he accepted her confession, he would only hurt her because his heart didn't actually love her in that way. If he rejected her, he would hurt her too. It's better if she never confesses."

"Well, it might work out if only Tanaka-senpai never heard of it," Inaba chimed in.

"Right. She found out about it, so she felt rejected even before she confessed. It hurt her so much that she started to think that she was worthless," Fujiwara said. "Her private personality didn't help; she became depressed enough to think of suicide. The twins' case only made her more resolved to follow this path."

"Then how come she accepted help from counselor and teacher so quickly?" Asagi asked again curiously. "If the idea of suicide has been on her mind for such a long time, why is she so quick to give a chance for staying alive?"

"That's the miracle of connectedness," the sociable guy grinned. "I'm not sure how it happened, but it's all thanks to Itou-senpai's commitment to her. She followed the counselor's advice down to a T. Not just that, according to the counselor, Tanaka-senpai hadn't made up her mind about the method of suicide. She did her research, but she hasn't made a choice yet. The twins' case adds more courage to her to commit suicide, but she also admitted that she's scared of dying. It's probably one of the reasons why it was not too hard to make her open up."

"Connectedness… so that's very important to help suicidal people," Asakura looked thoughtful as she murmured to herself. She then turned to look at Fujiwara. "Since the problem of opening up for consultation is solved, what is the next step, according to the counselor?"

"Opening up to her family. All of them, including her adopted brother. It won't be easy, especially when it comes to her brother and father who have been aware of her feelings, but it's necessary for her to be able to move on."

"And what should the student council do about this?"

"Monitoring. Keep in touch with her teacher and the counselor—oh, and Itou-senpai, too. The job won't be done until Tanaka-senpai manages to overcome her suicidal thoughts."

Monitoring and communication. That was the duty of the student council. It was not far from Asagi's expectation.

At least it's just that. I don't know what to do if our job is also to persuade her or meet her family, he thought, feeling relieved. The student council already had a bunch of duties, so it would be very difficult if not impossible for them to be able to help to that extent. He was grateful that all that was left in this case was just those two things that could be done from the sideline. Now that they had solved the most important problem in this suicide case, it was time for the student council to focus on another case: the image of the counseling room.

"I wish to speak to you all regarding another topic that's closely related to Tanaka-senpai's case," Asagi started after Yoshino summarized the result of their discussion about Tanaka's case. "I haven't told you yet, but I have asked Fujiwara's help in this since it's related to her."

"That's unfair!" Yoshino exclaimed in protest. "You should've told the student council members first!"

"I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure if you would hear me out positively without any result about her case," Asagi replied. "And while this topic that I want to discuss is related to her, it's not something that exists in papers. It's not an official case, not an official report, which is why I took unofficial action as my first step with Fujiwara's help. You know, testing the water."

"You think the result of her case is worth the shot?" Asakura asked.

"Yes. Any result is fine. I just wanted to wait until there is a result to convince you."

"I'd say that you're too cautious with this, Nagayama. Even if you have to take an informal step for an unofficial case, you can still involve the student council members as long as your point is reasonable. It's not like you're trying to convince strangers," Inaba pointed out with a tone of disappointment, "but since it's been done already, go ahead, President."

"Thank you." Asagi smiled in relief, but inwardly, he admitted that Inaba had a point there. Perhaps he was indeed too cautious about this. Shinichi was kind of an unofficial case without any papers about it and without any apparent damage to the school, but the student council fully supported his decision because they believed in his reasons. It would not be impossible for them to also support him in this case as long as he could convince them with his reasons.

It's really not easy to trust people, Asagi thought when he pondered a bit about his over-cautious action. He trusted the student council immediately because, at that time, he felt pressured by the threat brought by the protagonists, a threat that could endanger his own life. He had no choice other than to trust the student council which meant it was not due to sincere trust that he counted on them; it was due to urgency. Now that he was faced with a problem that had nothing to do with his life and death, he chose to test the water first and get some obvious results to convince them before trusting them. Not that it was wrong for him to wait for the result to convince them, but still, all his actions mirrored what he truly felt about his friends whether he was aware or not. It meant that actually, Asagi had not trusted the student council completely. All this time, he never truly trusted them.

Why?

Because I'm so used to living by myself, Asagi immediately found the answer. Besides that, they aren't from my world. They don't know me. Their friend is Asagi from this world, not me.

He looked at the student council and Fujiwara who were all silently waiting for his speech. They still thought that he was their president when in truth, he was not.

But I am. I am the president now, Asagi reminded himself, trying to concentrate on his current reality. He pushed the thought of his distrust to the farthest corner of his mind while at the same time recalling the purpose of their meeting. He was not the real Asagi, but currently, he was his substitute. He was the president. He could not lose his footing.

"So. About what I want to discuss with you," he began straight to the topic. "It's about the counseling room. We are all aware that it doesn't have a favorable image among students."

"That's true," the vice president agreed, followed by the other members.

"And as you already know as well, we've received reports of student's problems related to mental health."

"Yeah! Most of them are about bullied victims and futoko students, no doubt related to each other," Yoshino said before looking doubtful. "But are they considered as mental illness?"

"It can lead to that because the symptoms are there," Asagi answered before asking back, "Why do you think bullying and futoko are related?"

"Because some students who get bullied end up stopping coming to school for a long time, of course."

"Yes. The bullying affected their self-confidence. They are scared of the bully, scared of what awaits them if they go to school. They don't want to be bullied, to be tortured, to be humiliated, but they can't solve this problem alone and can't trust anyone with their problem. In the end, they choose to avoid them altogether by not coming to school," Asagi explained. "What's even more dangerous is the fact that bullying in our school isn't usually done physically, but mentally. It's very rare for students here to attack others physically, but it's quite a normal occurrence to have them talk bad about someone behind their back, to mock someone in the online group. Not just that, there are also cases of students refusing to attend school because they don't have any friends. They can't blend in. They aren't bullied physically, but they feel ostracized at school because they are somehow different from the majority. These kinds of bullying aren't easy to detect because they don't leave obvious marks."

"Right. There was this mixed-race student in our school who got ignored by most of his classmates just because his eyes were big and his hair was curly. He didn't stop coming to school, but he transferred after a year," Asakura recalled. "It's a case from a year ago. He was in my class."

"I remember that guy," Fujiwara exclaimed. "His look is very different from average Japanese, so I couldn't help getting curious about him. I didn't know he transferred because… you know, being ignored."

"I also didn't know at first. I thought he was just following his parents, but later after I joined the student council, the counselor told me about this," Asakura said with a guilty expression. "I'm ashamed to say this, but while I never had any bad intentions towards him, I also never really cared about him. I didn't do anything when my classmates ignored him like he didn't exist."

Asagi had no idea who that guy was, but he pretended to know considering everyone here seemed to know him. A mixed-race student who didn't look like Japanese was too eye-catching to be forgotten easily. Anyway, he was just glad that Asakura had brought up a good example for his explanation.

"It's as Asakura said. Cases like that happen. And while that guy still came to school despite being bullied like that, we have several that do stop coming due to similar cause," Asagi said again. "Basically, all these students have similarities. They are scared, anxious, and depressed because of what they've experienced at school. Anxiety and depression are actually symptoms of mental illness. If it's not treated soon, it will become bigger and more threatening for them. Tanaka-senpai might not be bullied at school, but she's a perfect example of what will happen if someone with mental illness symptoms isn't treated early. She's been depressed for more than a year without any solution. Look at what she's become, what she's almost done to herself."

"Well, you got a point there," Inaba commented. "I think I get what you mean. You want to say that all these cases are related to the image of the counseling room, right?"

"Yes. I want to say that if the image of the counseling room never changes, then in the future, there will be more students with high depression like Tanaka-senpai. There will be more students with mental illness because the symptoms aren't treated early."

"And the reason they aren't treated early is only because they are afraid to go to counseling room, afraid to meet the counselor. They think it's better to keep it to themselves rather than risk being judged as a loser or problematic student by their friends. I got it," Inaba nodded again with a thoughtful look. "You said Fujiwara's been helping you out with this? Can we hear about that too?"

"I've been intending to share it with you all, don't worry," Asagi replied. "I asked Fujiwara to keep going to the counseling room with the excuse of helping a lovesick friend." After that, he turned to his classmate. "How is the result, Fujiwara?"

"They believe me so far," Fujiwara answered before elaborating, "When I told them that I went to the counseling room to get advice for my lovesick friend whose love was one-sided and couldn't move on, they seem to really believe in me. Up until today, I've visited the counseling room five times. Nobody thinks bad about me only because I went there."

"Why do they believe you, Fujiwara-kun?" Asakura asked.

"Well, in the first place, I'm not a problematic student. I'm quite popular as well—positively popular. And my acting is convincing enough. That's why, probably."

"Is there anyone who visits the counseling room after you went there?"

"Not yet, but someone did ask me about it, like how is it like to be there? What is it like to talk with the counselor? What did we talk about? I think at least this person is considering visiting the counseling room."

"How did you answer?" Asagi asked curiously. It could not be helped since it was also his first time hearing it.

"Basically, I said that it's not scary and it's just like talking with our homeroom teacher. The counselor is kind and willing to listen without judging. And since she also knows that I was pretending to meet her to get advice for a lovesick friend who actually is Tanaka-senpai, she has no problem giving me some advice to support my act."

"She knows?"

"Yeah, well, I told her because I thought it would be better for both of us to act together. After all, this is for the sake of the students and counseling room." Fujiwara said. "Should I haven't done that?"

"No, actually, that's a good call," the president praised him, totally supporting his decision. He was actually quite surprised that his classmate could make such a decision when he was anti-counseling room. It was probably safe to assume that despite his dislike towards the counseling room, Fujiwara managed to befriend the counselor just like he befriended teachers.

Asagi then turned his eyes to the student council members. "In Tanaka-senpai's case, we can see that getting help from a counselor is actually helping her. If someone with such a serious case like her can get better with a counselor's help, it's only logical that those with milder symptoms can also get better with her help. The role of the counselor is this important, so the image of the counseling room really needs to change." He paused before continuing, "There is also progress in Fujiwara's work, so I think there's no harm in implementing this strategy. It will take a long time, but once it changes the image, it will also last longer because it happens naturally without forcing anyone. What do you think?"

"I'm on!" Yoshino agreed instantly. "If it can bring a long-lasting change, no matter how long it takes, I'm okay with it."

"Well, since all your points are reasonable, I don't see why not," Asakura also agreed easily.

"I agree as well since I have no better alternative for it," Inaba decided. "It's just… Fujiwara, it's all up to you because we can't help you. The student council going to the counseling room won't have any effect."

"Nagayama already told me the same thing. It's fine."

"Are you sure?" the vice president asked doubtfully. "You don't like to go there, do you? And you were so against it before."

"Since my image is still fine after all of this, yeah, I'm sure," he answered, grinning awkwardly. Hearing that, the others were either deadpanned or just laughed amusedly. Asagi himself only smiled, also quite amused by his answer even though he knew better what made his classmate willing to do it. Still, he was also grateful for how it turned out to be. The beginning was definitely not okay because he was kind of blackmailing him, but now, Fujiwara was willing to do it not because of his blackmail, but because he was sure that his reputation would not be harmed.

After they reached an agreement, Yoshino noted down the result of their discussion before reading it out loud again in front of her friends. To summarize, all of them agreed with Asagi's plan to change the image of the counseling room with Fujiwara's assistance. It was not an official program for the student council, but they could always make it official once their advisor agreed. Even if she did not, they could still go ahead with this plan because it was very simple without the need for a budget and definitely did not violate the school rules.

Once the meeting ended, the problematic thoughts about his trust in the student council resurfaced again, making Asagi question himself on what basis did he trust them with his current plan. Did he trust them sincerely? Or was it due to another urgency? But what urgency? This counseling room issue had nothing to do with his life. It also had nothing to do with his job as the student council president. Nobody would criticize him just because he did not do anything about it. After all, managing something like that was the job of teachers, counselors, and school board, not students. So why did he do it? And why did his friends allow him to do it? Why did they trust him?

What is sincerity? What is urgency?

Why did he care?

Was it only because he wanted to secure a peaceful life in this crime-fiction world? Was he really going that far only for that reason?

He kept thinking about it as he went home, but even after he arrived, Asagi had not been able to answer all his questions.

~o0o~

futoko: a student who refuses to go to school for a long period of time for reasons unrelated to health or finances.

juku: cram school

I'm really writing this according to my mood, aren't I? Forgive me, readers. I have no excuse.

In any case, I'm back for now. Not sure when the next chapter will come out, though. I hope you don't mind my random update.

Thank you for your patience, thank you for all your favs, comments, and follows, and thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy this fic!