Winter has come, where you celebrate Winter holidays from Christmas to Hanukkah or in case of the Corduroy Clan preparing for the Apocalypse; however, things were different this time as it turns in the old Corduroy cabin where only Corduroys were allowed in including Dipper being the husband of Wendy and father their triplets who just got 13 making him an honorary Corduroy while Mabel was in some Christmas party at Mcgucket Mansion, Ramirez Family are visiting Portland and other Pines members currently in Piedmont.
It certainly helped for Dipper to be a honorary Corduroy beyond just marrying one that he and his family done a lot of brave deeds in the past, saved the Town of Gravity Falls and the World a few times and one time before his marriage with Wendy he came for their Winter Survival Training and helped
them in defeating a few hungry Wendigos, you know normal Gravity Falls wild beasts as where other parts of the world have bears here they have bigfoots and where other countries have eagles they have Pterodactyl.
" Han-Calypse-Mas?" Tyrone gave an eyebrow as he tried to spell it, his literate mind was trying to grasp it.
Their father began to explain as he put the dishes on the table
"Well, since we had like three different types of holidays, we thought why not all three?"
Annable decided to be the voice of reason as she was decorating the tree with her siblings
"I'm all for creativity, but isn't this…much?"
Their mother while checking the cooking elaborated further. "It didn't come from your aunt this time, so I need to worry about it getting overboard."
Avalon whispered to Anna's ears.
"Did they drink Aunt Mabel's juice?" you know how they find this bizarre when even the 'crazy one' of the triplets was wondering and now all three wondered if their aunt has drugged their parents to do this, her cocktails can be quite strong.
A Hanukkah set of candles
Braised Brisket With Pearl Onions and Carrots, Strawberry Sufganiyot, Eggnogs and even survival post apocalypse cans were there. They weren't kidding about mixing all three.
A bell ring sounded.
"I go get it." Wendy said, she moved toward the door and opened it.
The first person who came out of the door was Manly Dan, the patriarch of the Corduroy family.
"Hi dad."
"Hi my firecracker."
All triplets cheered and immediately rushed toward their grandfather.
"GRANDPA!"
"MY GRAND- OOF!" Daniel didn't have time to finish his sentence as all three jumped and hugged him with such force that he fell backward. "Either I'm getting old or you three got strong!" he bellowed as he chortled with his grandchildren.
Wendy decided to break them off.
"Alright kids, hard enough hugging your grandfather, try to do it subtly without giving him a backache."
Her father had other ideas.
"Don't listen to her, she didn't know jack on subtly when she secretly let her boyfriends at night in her room."
"DAD!" Wendy slightly flushed, exclaimed and then retorted as her brothers who came next from outdoor snickered at her "Oh, like you know subtly when you visited my husband after our honeymoon!"
Daniel decided to have a man to man conversation with his son-in-law, which means trying to be as gentle and delicate as possible.
"GRANDKIDS! NOW!"
Or not while he brutally bluntly demanded his son-in-law.
Dipper looked like he was gonna have a stroke with his expression contorting in a gape and an eye twitching.
"Being honest is part of what makes you a man." Daniel stated in defense.
"My husband stayed vegetated for 7 minutes!" she threw a hand.
Marcus joined in.
"Hey, your husband can face monsters on a weekly basis, one could think he can take that as well."
Gus looked weirdly at the chimney as he pointed out.
"And uh, was it part of Hanukkah or some weird Christmas thing to put fireworks at the chimney?"
Avalon was grinning evilly while she was putting firecracker rockets near the chimney pointed at up.
'When that old fat jolly comes down, he's gonna get a roasted Christmas bwahahaha!" her siblings looked with an expression that said 'Of Course' like they expected that.
Her thoughts were interrupted.
"AVA!" her father aghast.
"What? The chimney is not lit yet, I'm not that crazy!"
Wendy inhaled deeply and began speaking while counting with her fingers.
"Ava, there's room for Christmas, there's room for Hanukkah, there's room for Apocalypse Training but this place can only place three and arson IS NOT ONE OF THE THINGS YOU SHOULD PUT IN HERE!" her volume got higher to make the point.
Avalon rolled her eyes.
"Oh please mom, you just- " whatever she was gonna say stopped from the glare she was getting from her mother which oddly looked like an angry bear "I just don't want to do it outside okay? Snow makes it hard to light it on."
The bickering between mother and daughter continued on as everyone but the kids looked weirdly at this.
Daniel couldn't help but wonder, not sure how he should feel while feeling nostalgic.
"...is it just me or is my daughter becoming me?
"Nope!" Marcus sharply retorted.
"Na-ah!" Gus shook his head.
"Unlikely!" Kevin made an x with both arms.
Dipper on the other hand was looking at his wife' angry mood, almost dreamy with flush can be seen in his cheeks.
Marcus exclaimed in recoil and punched his shoulder.
"Dude!"
"What?" Mason was confused.
"Stop looking at our sister like that!"
"What do you- hey! I have you know that's not how we spent most our time in- "
All three brothers immediately shouted with fingers in their years
"TMI! TMI! TMI!"
"Are you serious!?" Ava gave a blegh expression.
"Ew!" Tyrone visibly showed his disgust.
"Gross dad!" Anna agreed with his brother.
"Wait until you reach puberty." their mother locked arms.
"You're all children." Daniel matter of factly said.
It was going to be a completely, utterly, entirely normal Winter Holiday, nothing interesting happened.
Ouija Board
That was a lie.
"AAAAAAAAH!" Kevin roared as he ran toward a malevolent phantom only to pass through it and hit the window and fall inside the house.
They were outside and currently were fighting the forces of the dead because of a summoning gone wrong.
Tyrone shouted as he hid behind a snowy rock.
"UNCLE KEVIN IS A GONER!"
Kevin objected to that hypothesis
"Your Uncle is fine, ow!" before crying in pain.
Avalon holding a nail pointed at a zombie.
"I'm gonna kill you, again! HAHAHA!'' She cackled while repeatedly shooting the zombie's head with bears hitting at his head like a machine gun soon enough that the zombie dropped really dead.
Wendy used her ax to hit the zombies in their heads.
Dipper brought a shovel as a weapon to kill the undead.
Tyrone was currently holding two phantoms with two proton guns and moving them around while the proton beam held them like ragdolls and laughing maniacally.
"BWAHAHAHA!"
Dan like a bull growled and punched every zombie he saw with his ironed knuckled gloves.
Annable, who went inside the house to grab from the arsenal, snatched a bomb and tossee it out while warning others.
"Ectoplasma bomb!"
The grenade hit the snowy ground.
"Oh no." Gus said before he was grabbed by Marcus to hide away from the blast radius.
"YEEEEAAAAH!" Annable shouted and jumped inside.
BOOM!
A green explosive light could be seen far away.
Afterwards, Dipper and Wendy decided that nothing paranormal involved should ever be allowed in a holiday family reunion.
Warsmith 30k
"THAT'S UTTER BULLCRAP!" Tyrone in his nerd rage stood up nearly making the miniature figures on the table fell from some heavy metal brand which included supersoldier Transhumans(Kevin and Ava nearly made a joke about that if it weren't for Wendy and Dan's glares), Space Fairy humanoid creatures, dwarf sized ferrets with crystal weapons, a bunch of blue fish guys in battlesuits and a few terminator like robots with red hue colors near a made up castle with turrets.
Ty continued his outrage.
"The first edition is like a whole different franchise to make fun of England's edgy phase in the 80s!"
Over the other side of the table, Gus huffed.
"Hey, at least they know how to have fun instead of grimderping in ooze like some edgy fanfic made by an edgy neo-nazi still in his teens that thinks brainwashed super soldiers are the good guys."
"There Are plenty of novels for comedy! And that British Company literally made an official statement that Kingdom of Man are not the good guys!"
Gus wasn't convinced.
"At least the first edition explored other factions instead of making it all about grotesque bulky supersoldiers to sell plastic figurines while making other races their punching bag to make them look cool like the Space Fairies."
Tyrone opened his mouth to say something, but said nothing as he thought and then concurred a shrug and sat down.
"Ah…okay, fair enough."
Everyone else who were in their tabletop game were confused by all this.
Marcus whispered to one of his nieces by moving his head down a bit.
"Uh, do you know what they're talking about, niece?"
Anna gave an unimpressed look.
"I'm his sister and yet I have no idea."
D more D
They were now playing D More D, the Corduroy brothers weren't
Mason was the storyteller here.
"Lord Tyrion is now facing the Frost Dragon guarding the treasure, what will he do now?"
'Lord Tyrion' being Tyrone said his next move "I throw a fire spell to melt the dragon."
Dipper threw a few dice and said the result "The Frost Dragon is still alive but has been severely damaged."
"Yes!" Tyrone cheered with a hand up and then down.
The Corduroy brothers all but Gus were not a fan of this game.
Kevin snorted, disgruntled to his brothers.
"Pff this is stupid."
"Boys." That stopped them good by the commanding voice of the Patriarch of the Corduroy clan as they begrudgingly followed their father's command. Hopefully the next game will be more muscle than geek.
Fist Fight
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
Everyone was cheering all over Wendy and Dan who were testing who is the strongest by holding each other's opposite fist on a table trying to put each other's fist on the table.
Dipper, naturally being Wendy's husband, was at his side, as was Tyrone, Annable and Gus whereas at the opposite was Marcus and Kevin on their father's side.
Both Father and Daughter Corduroys seem struggling as their expression showed, growing veins, sweating and grinding teeths with sounds of a struggle as everyone else looked in anticipation.
The victor was soon revealed by Dan who managed to hit Wendy's fist on the wooden table. Marcus and Kevin's cheers went up while others went down, Annable muttered something as she gave a dollar to a smug Uncle Kevin.
"Some day you're gonna beat me kiddo, but not today." Dan stated as his daughter smiled warmly and promised.
"Oh I will, old man."
Moolahpoly
"Go fish."
"ARGH!" Marcus grumpled.
"Go Fish."
"Sonova biscuit!" Kevin would have used real curse worlds if it weren't for his niece and nephews.
"Gonna buy that."
"Ah dag nammit! I wanted that!" Ty whined.
"I'm officially the richest man in this house." Dipper said with a satisfied smirk.
Everyone groaned at this, it wasn't the first time either as Dipper seemed very good at this as all gathered around their game.
"How're you so good at this!?" Kevin in frustration sputtered.
"The pros of having it good on math and learning to do tax fraud from my Grunkle." Mason's satisfied expression looked a bit like Stanley wherever he was committing a crime and got away from it. There is no crime if there are no cops as his con artist great uncle once said.
Marcus frowned.
"I'm starting to see why dad lost his temper that time we didn't do our math homework."
"Which you should be ashamed of!" Dan grunted.
"We were practicing on becoming fearless by doing manly challenges!" Kevin protested.
"Like how you got scared of my sister so hard you filed a restraining order on her?" Dipper slyly asked.
The triplets snickered at that as the brothers looked embarrassed while Wendy was bemused.
"In our defense, your sister gave us signals in all the wrong ways." Gus shuddered after saying that, as did his brothers.
"How about that time one of you nearly cursed yourself by wearing a deer's skull?
Kevin objected by throwing his hands.
" How was I supposed to know it was cursed!?"
"It was worn by a wendigo!"
Team Fort 3
Gus, Kevin, Tyrone and Annable were now playing a shooter video game.
Ava was not there because she was banned from playing in groups for a month because she could get… very intense in gaming while raging with swears like a sailor that would make even Dan raise an eyebrow.
Having said that, Anna can also get caught up as she then jumps and stands in victory declaring.
"HAHAHAHAHA! IN YOUR FACE UNCLES! I'M THE KING OF FORTS!" she pointed at Gus and Kevin.
"We're the same team you knucklehead." Gus protested at the false declaration with a frown.
Anna realized they were right.
"Oh…then I'M THE MOST COMPETENT!"
That made them both groan at her new conclusion, Marcus who was just passing by drinking eggnogs then commented.
"I swear since the day they finally after millions of years made Team Fort 3 we are made like amateurs by everyone."
Annable seemed confused then she recalled something and felt the need to elaborate something.
"Oh right, we just hypnotized the owner of the company of that game to make a third installment of Team Fort using that mind control tie Great Great Uncle Ford made creating a hypnotic machine because they are too lazy to make a third installment and by then we would probably old and decrepit living in a retirement house until then."
Everyone inside the house went silent and stared at her, the only thing audible was the sound of hoot hoots from an owl from the outdoors.
"Just kidding!" Annable snorted at their reaction which diffuse the tension. Afterwards, she whispered to Tyrone's ear secretly.
"Make sure to burn the hypnotic machine and the tie…" he nodded in agreement.
Ax Throwing
In this game everyone was outdoors pointing their axes at their targets which were a bunch of jugs of wood with targeting circles carved on them. Even Dipper had an ax, a gift he got from his wife during an anniversary.
Dipper's ax passed the target and hit the snowy ground.
"Ah dammit, I got sloppy."
Annable's ax hit the target's upward part.
"Haha! Nailed it!"
Ava's ax hit near the center
"I did my best."
Marcus's ax hit the center.
"Bullseye!"
Wendy's ax also hit the center, except it went with such a force that the wooden target got split into two making everyone gawked whereas Dan looked proud and Dipper wore his Pines' trademark smirk of satisfaction.
Marcus stumped a foot in the snow.
"No fair! That wood was dried out!
"No it wasn't little brothers." Wendy smugly started making her brothers fum.
Present Time
It was the present time, while the kids were busy and Dipper was scanning around just to make sure no more malevolent ghosts were still present after that incident with Ouija Board, Wendy was outdoors looking at the raining snow and whiten pine trees by it, wondering while she held eggnog mug. Daniel, seeing her daughter deep in thought, decided to join in.
"A penny for your thought?s"
His daughter glanced back and then continued staring at the snow "You could say…" she tapped a bit on her mug "Is just…the Ouija Board thing didn't do what we intended, in summoning mom." she added sadly, the whole reason they tried to use Ouija Board was to summon the deceased mother of Wendy and her siblings the wife of Daniel Corduroy but instead they raised up zombies and attracted maleficious phantoms, good thing this family is well-experienced in dealing with paranormal and thank Dipper's overly planned contingencies.
"Wish mother was here to see this, big shame the Ouija Board didn't work the way we intended."
Dan gave a thoughtful expression before softening.
"The fact that it didn't summon her means her ghost isn't in the realm of the living anymore, she is in Heaven Wendy, and I'm sure she would be proud of what you built." Dan put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, Wendy thought about it seeing now flaw in that logic and smiled sadly.
"Yeah, I guess so." she then sipped on her mug.
"Still, family can drive me crazy at times."
Her father chuckled, "Now you know my pain."
"At least, not everyone can say that they started their Christmas by kicking asses, I'm gonna hold that on everyone." Wendy smirked mischievously.
Suddenly, shouts could be heard inside the cabin of a commotion happening.
"Sis don't!" That was the sound of Ty and Anna crying out at the same time.
Dipper shouted to Ava to stop what she was doing.
"AVA WAIT STOP!"
"THIS IS FOR GIVING US THAT LOUSY SNOW STORM LAST YEAR YOU DECREPIT MILKSOP FATTY!" That was the sound of Ava.
Wendy looked and was shocked as her father at what was happening with the former nearly using strong language."
"WHAT THE- !"
And lo and behold, Ava has gone psycho on Santa Claus with a hammer with Santa being Kevin who wore himself as Santa Claus with a bag of gifts to surprise the triplets, not the kind of surprise he expected. Kevin had an easier time getting rid of a savage weasel than the little red monster.
Avalon cackled like an absolute loon.
"MERRY GODDAMN CHRISTMAS SANTA!"
"NONONO AVA WAIT!"
Kevin screamed as he struggled to not get his face hammered by his crazy niece.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS HAHAHAHA!"
Wendy and Dan sprinted to stop Ava from hammering Kevin so as everyone else.
Little did anyone know, meters away near a snowy pine tree there was a female ghost looking at her husband, her children and the family her daughter made with a smile and also because it was funny seeing this.