Ibuki: Disclaimer! The author does not own any of the material appearing in the story. The OC's belong to their respective owners!
BGM: News (Pokemon Colosseum)
"Breaking news! We have just received word that the most popular cartoon character, Mickey Mouse, has entered public domain."
"Took ya long enough." Donald said.
"Ahehehe… well…" Mickey chuckled sheepishly.
"-And in other news, a horror film that stars Mickey Mouse has been announced."
"WHAT?!" Mickey and Donald yelled.
"Gawrsh, your majesty, I didn't know you liked horror!" Goofy said.
"I don't!"
"The film in question is titled: Five Nights at Mickeys. It should be a steller hit."
Meanwhile…
"Oh for pete's sake… another cheap horror flick?" Sonia groaned before letting out an exasperated sigh. "That's it. Something has to be done about this."
She got up and walked away after finishing her breakfast.
End BGM
A few minutes later…
"Oh Lakitu~!"
"Hmm?" Lakitu turned his head while fiddling with his camera.
"I'm thinking of doing a little PSA. You want to be my cameraman?"
Lakitu sweatdropped. "I know I'm your go-to cameraman, but don't you guys have phones to record yourselves?"
"Ah, but it's not done professionally and… well, you're the best professional cameraman we know."
Lakitu blushed, as even his cloud blushed as well. "O-oh… g-golly… way to butter me up. I'm in!"
"Excellent~"
Later…
"We're live in five, four, three, two…"
"Hello everyone! I am Sonia Nevermind from the popular series, Danganronpa. And today, I thought it would be great to do a little PSA all about… the lovely genre that is horror!"
BGM: Sticky Situation (Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon)
PSA: Horror
"So, where to begin on this horror story… ah!" Sonia smiled. "As we all know, horror films basically have a group of characters where intelligence is sold separately, otherwise we wouldn't have a horror film to begin with. They don't follow the rules of Horror movies… oh, what are the rules?"
She let out a giggle. "Why, if you've watched Scream, then you would know~" She smiled. "But, for those who haven't:
Rule number one: No sex!"
Pause BGM
"Hmhmhmhm." Death hummed as he wandered around Castlevania.
At that moment, he heard a whistle that caught his attention, turning around to some curtains that he had not seen before.
BGM: Careless Whisper (George Michael)
The curtains opened up, revealing Deadpool on top of a bear rug, leaning on the side with his hand on his head while his elbow rested on the ground as he was in front of a fireplace.
"Soooo… come here often~?"
Death blinked… before he raised his scythe and swung it down on him.
End BGM
Confessional - Headless Deadpool
Deadpool reattached his head. "Hehehe, worth it!" He said… and then his head fell off again. "Ah darn it… need more duct tape!"
Confessional - Death
"I think he confused me for another Death… not to mention I don't swing that way."
End confessional
Resume Sticky Situation BGM
"Rule number two: No alcohol or drugs!"
Confessional - Demoman
"No alcohol?! What kindae sick twisted rule is that?! I say to hell with that rule! If that big mean villain thinks he can stop the likes of ME, well, he's gottae 'nother thing comin'! That "big scary monsta" is nothin' more than a wee man with social issues, and on top of that, he has a wee present between his legs! AND IF YE THINK I'M GONNAE ABSTAIN FROM ALCOHOL BECAUSE A COWARDLY LAD CAN'T CONFRONT FOLKS AND HAS TO HIDE BEHIND A WEE PATHETIC MASK, YE GOTTAE 'NOTHER THNG COMIN'. I SAY TO YE THAT YE OUGHTAE DRINK ALL THE ALCOHOL AND FIGHT THE DEMON MANO E MANO! YE OUGHT-"
We are experiencing a rambling drunken angry Scotsman. Please stand by.
"And rule number three: Never, under any circumstances… EVER… say "I'll be right back". Because you will never come back."
"Hey, I'm gonna grab some food. You want anything?" Grif asked.
"Nah, I'm good." Simmons responded.
"I'll be right back."
"Okay, you do that." Simmons nodded as he was continuing watching a movie.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Grif?!" Simmons got up and started running into the kitchen.
"My Oreos! THEY'RE ALL GOOOOOONE!"
"...Oh. I thought you were being killed."
"MY STOMACH IS DYING. READ THE ROOM, DAMMIT!"
"Of course, Scream forgot the most important rule… never split up! Always stick together. There's strength in numbers! Otherwise the killer would pick you off one by one. I've… experienced this in the Fog. They always thought they would split up because "a lady would take their sweet time trying to kill us. Men kill people faster"."
Sonia closed her eyes and smirked, chuckling almost sadistically. "I wonder how those folks are doing after I gave them to the Entity~?"
"Uuuuh… Sonia…? You're scaring me a bit."
Sonia opened her eyes. "Oh! I'm sorry… didn't mean to frighten you!"
She rubbed her chin in thought. "Though, splitting up is how you were able to counter Legion in the Fog… ah, let's not worry about that!"
She smiled once more. "Regardless, there are exceptions to every rule, which also includes horror as the genre changed completely ever since… that tragic event that happened in September of 2001, but… let's not get into that."
She frowned. "However, as there are good horror films… there are always a cheap copy because horror is cheap to make. For every Hellraiser and Nightmare on Elm Street, we get things like… oh, I don't know, a horror film starring Winnie the Pooh?"
Confessional - Sora
"Wait, what?! Winnie the Pooh is a horror icon?! Uuuuh… I'm gonna go check on him!"
He took off running.
"HEY MERLIN, I NEED TO SEE POOH REAL QUICK!"
End Confessional
"It's… exhausting that people will resort to horror first the moment certain icons are fresh off the market when they hit Public Domain. Winnie the Pooh, the Grinch and of course, Mickey Mouse. …Well, technically, Steamboat Willie but… details."
Sonia sighed. "I get it. Horror is easy to make and this is probably several potshots at Disney for their draconian Copyright laws as of '98 but… good grief, next thing you know there's gonna be a Charlie Brown horror film! Calling it now, the Great Pumpkin is gonna be the killer." She shook her head. "But come on, why do you gotta disrespect horror like this? Can't you make something else with these icons? Like an Action/Adventure type of deal… or like, Mickey Mouse going on an adventure with Indiana Jones or a cute mystery with Winnie the Pooh! You could do this instead!"
Sonia shook her head. "Tangents aside, if you're going to make a horror film, at the very least, don't just slap a lovable childhood character in there and make them horror icons! Winnie the Pooh or Mickey Mouse are not going to fit in with the Xenomorph, Freddy or even Jason!"
Sonia then had an idea. "...I'll be right back!" She said as she took off running.
"...Wait… hold on, did you just…?"
At that moment, a Xenomorph came walking on set, pulling a white board into the camera.
"UUUUH… A XENOMORPH?!"
At that moment, the Xenomorph pulled his head back, revealing it to be Sonia.
"Sorry about that, I can't believe I forgot the white board. Oh, and I found this cute Xenomorph costume on the way back and I had to try it on!"
Lakitu sweatdropped. "Oh… okay."
"So anyway, let's go over what makes a good horror film."
She proceeded to write "Traits of a good horror flick" on top.
"Now then, the first thing to note is that you can have all the jumpscares and gore in the world all you want, but let me just pull up what Jason Blum had to say as he's the master of the genre."
She pulled out her phone and then cleared her throat as she found what she was looking for.
"Most people think when they talk about a good horror movie, how good the scares are. You can have the best scares in the world but they won't work if the story isn't good. If you have a great story and great actors, the scares will come easily. Movies are scary if they tangentially touch reality. And all these movies do. They are about greed, getting older, racism, prejudice. But you can't be preachy about it,"
Sonia put her phone away. "Now if you do get preachy about it… well, you're gonna lose a lot of folks. Looking at you, Hood 2." She narrowed her eyes at the camera while giving a stern shake of the head. "You were so good about it in your original entry… thank god you got it together for the third."
She then smiled. "But if you want a breakdown of the horror movies, may I recommend you look up Dead Meat? He's got a bunch of kill counts on every horror movie out there! And yes, that also includes the cheesy ones but, hey, everyone's got a favorite." She giggled.
"Anyway, moving on. The next thing I want to mention is let fear be your guide. Several horror movies are successful because they tap into a certain fear that some people have. Once you have that fear locked down, you're going to have several folks nearly wet themselves in terror. Play around with it too!
And speaking of playing around with it, that goes into my next tip: Build the tension! Make it realistic. Horror villains are most effective if you don't see them right away. Let everyone's imaginations go wild, wondering what this monster is going to be. A few jumpscares oughta do the trick too! The most effective horror movie is the fear of the unknown, after all~"
Sonia turned back to the camera after writing on the whiteboard. "Next, you're going to need a compelling narrative. Have your characters be likable to where you start dreading what will happen to them. They're going to be put through the wringer, so make sure you have characters that are easy to like and start growing attached to them. Then you're going to have your villain. Make sure the villain is effective and make them iconic in your own way. How do you think the likes of Predator and the Xenomorph are so well liked? They're horrific in their own special way!"
After writing that down, she then turned around once more. "You're going to want to play around with the camera as well. Different camera angles are effective if you know what you are doing. Throw in some practical effects as well… but don't overdo it, otherwise you're just gonna have gore in there for the sake of gore and that will more than likely kill the movie."
She then let out a giggle. "Of course, if you really want some fun, subvert everyone's expectations. If you want horror, but don't want people to expect horror… have your movie trailers act like it's a thriller or a romantic movie. Don't reveal too much and everyone will think it's something else. And then BAM, they're hit with horror! But don't do it abruptly. Let it sink in gradually to let people slowly realize what they're getting themselves into."
After writing that down, she turned around again. "Plus, every good horror movie needs a good soundtrack! I mean, look at Halloween! It's got a very iconic song that can send a chill up your spine. If you want a spine tingling horror film, let the music play. It'll be enough to let everyone get creeped out. And… finally, if you want your movie be effective, make sure you edit it appropriately, and have the pacing be excellent. The last thing people want is waiting for a jumpscare and then by the time the movie's over, you'll have people going "...That's it?" So please, let your pacing be as steady as possible!"
Sonia turned around and wrote the last bit on the whiteboard. She turned around and stepped out of the way.
Don't Go Overboard on Gore and Jumpscares
Don't Get Preachy
Tap Into a Certain Fear
The more tense, the better
Likable characters!
Iconic villains!
Camera Angles are your friend
Subvert Expectations
Spooky music
Editing and pacing go hand in hand
"So, in conclusion, if you want to dive into Horror, look into what makes Horror a good genre… and whatever you do, if Public Domain happens to a certain character, for the love of all that is good, do NOT turn it into horror even if you want to take a stab at a company!"
She put her marker away. "Anyway, that's all from me! See you… you…" She rubbed her chest. "You…"
"...Sonia, are you feeling okay?"
"I… oh gods, I think I'm having heartburn…" She grimaced. "Must've been that cheeseburger I ate… oh god, what was in it…"
"Okay, deep breaths! Deep breaths… it's all gonna be fine."
"Nnngh… agh…"
Suddenly, her chest started to bulge out… before a tiny Xenomorph baby burst through her chest.
"AAAAAAAGH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Oooooh…"
THUD
The camera was picked up as it turned to Sonia who was pretty much okay. "The costume came with a cute chest burster~" She giggled. "...Hello, Lakituuuu? Hellooooo! …Oh dear, I must've caused him to faint…"
She winked at the camera. "Aaaand that's how you do horror~! Anyway, this is Sonia Nevermind… ta ta~!" She giggled before setting it down. "Okay, first order of business… get a washcloth for the poor Koopa!"
I will never understand why people resort to Horror when certain stuff goes Public Domain. I know it's cheap to make but come on... can't we at least try a little?
Ibuki: Apparently not... *still giggling over Sonia's antics*
Deadpool: Ah, there we go! Fully taped! *head falls off again* ...Okay. I'm getting the gorilla glue!
Anyway, this PSA was suggested by Cody the moment the Mickey horror film made mainstream media news. It's just... WHY THOUGH?!