I do not own Miss Scarlet & The Duke.
Chapter Twelve
"Excuse me, please move out of my way." Eliza makes her way through the crowd of men at the precinct. She demands to see Duke.
"Only family gets by, miss. Not..." he looks her up and down. It seems she is going to pull the same stunt she acted out with the ward sisters at the hospital.
"You will regret your next words. I am not Detective Wellington's favored whore. I am his wife. Now let me through, I need to see my husband." She shows the detective her mother's ring on her left ring finger. She stands on her tiptoes, looking for William in the cell.
"Erm, yes ma'am. I do apologize." The detective brings her back to the cell Duke occupies.
"Please leave us." She speaks pointedly toward the detective.
"I cannot ma'am, but I will stand back here for a bit of privacy."
"Very well." She nods to him and focuses her attention back in front of her, "William," she rushes to him. She wraps her hands around the bars.
"I never expected to see you on this side. Do you not know? Behind the bars is reserved for me." She sadly smiles.
He inhales, yet says nothing. His eyes dance with hers.
"You were right, Eliza." He breathes.
"You can say that again, I will never tire of hearing it." She winks at him, trying to lighten the mood, but he does not return her witty banter.
"Eliza, I have made a grave mistake." He whispers, placing his forehead against the bars. She tilts her head, looking up at him.
"You were right, I lost myself out there. Over you." He stretches his neck to one side and blows out steam.
She flinches at his comment and takes a step back, a look of shock sweeps over her. She senses that wall in her heart creeping back up. Her fight or flight response is freeze, avoid and flee. Her mind says to give him a moment to explain, but her heart screams, run.
"What do you mean, over me?" she says, feeling anger, fear, and humiliation for getting caught up in all of this with William. She knows better than to let her wall down.
His face is tense, and no words exit his mouth.
She steps back even further from the bars, her eyes searching his. Does he regret her visit? Sure... it has all become muddled. But she came for him. Was this all for nothing? Is love not enough?
"Eliza," He licks his lips. "There is talk of suspension. The Commissionser's son?" He slams his hand against the bars and growls.
Ah, she understands. She is not worth him losing his job over. While on the one hand, she feels a dagger to her heart, she also understands. Of course, she understands. His job is everything to him. She's hit with a wave of guilt. Her job has been everything to her, for years, and she let William's confession send her on a wild escapade across the Atlantic. Enjoying his company while her agency back home gets the boot. Her job has always been what is most important. She kicks herself for getting so distracted.
"I…I need to go back to London, William." She has found her resolve.
"Eliza, you are not safe while I am in here, you need to return to the hotel immediately." They both say at the same time.
When Eliza's words sink into Duke, he questions her, "What?" A look of concern crosses his face as his tired eyes peer onto her face, searching her.
"Eliza, wait." His heartbeat picks up, he knows what she is doing, her wall is rising in her again, and he has worked too hard these past years to get it to where it is now. He needs to get through to her.
"No, it is fine William. I understand and I apologize. Our personal affairs have ruined you professionally. I never wanted that for you. Forgive me." At that, she tears his eyes from him and walks down the hall away from his cell.
"Eliza, wait! Eliza!" She hears him shout and another loud bang against the bars. She winces on her way out.
"It's better this way," She nods, wall up, heading back to the hotel. She will leave on the next boat.
xxx
Knock, Knock, Knock.
"Eliza, it is William, open the door," He pleads with her through her hotel door, "please."
She stands on the other side, she has never been one to hide from conflict. She has always dug her heels in, stood her ground, stated her points with confidence, and never faltered in her determination to stick to her plan. But William, had a way of breaking her resolve. Being with him, she realizes is her weakness.
"I cannot open the door for you William." She says.
"Well stand back then, I can kick it in." He puts his hand up against the door, leaning his forehead against it.
"You will not kick in Ella's door, not after her kindness to me," Eliza orders him.
"Alright, I will not kick the door in. But I beg of you, open the door please, Eliza," She wrestles with her desires. She does not want to be a coward, but she does not know if she can face him. He just does something to her, making her… wish for more.
Impulse takes over and she opens the door. He stands in the doorframe, still a disheveled mess from the fight. A reminder to her that they cannot have it all.
"I have been sitting in that cell all day, pacing at times. Racking my brain over this all. I apologize for what I said to you. It was not right, I was angry. I apologize." He explains.
"They let you go, that must be a good sign. I mean you were defending me. I can testify to that." She says, keeping her feelings at bay.
"And a handful of men can testify that I approached an intoxicated, unarmed man, and lost my temper. No, they let me go with the agreement that I am now under suspension and strict review." His voice cracks.
"The only thought that has kept me going today is maybe you were right Eliza, maybe love..." he begins.
"Does cloud your judgment." She finishes his sentence. He swallows hard and looks at her cross, "That is not what I was going to say." He says, reaching for her hand, "Would you just stop talking so I can tell you my thoughts." His sighs.
"William," her heart breaks over his conclusion, "I am sorry,"
"Why? Do not apologize. You have done nothing wrong." He repeats.
"I am sorry because I have realized, we cannot have it all. In our lines of work, love cannot come first. It is blinding, it is dangerous," She shakes her head, looking at his chest, because she is not quite confident enough to make eye contact with him.
"Eliza, no, what? Do not say that. You mean everything to me." He grabs ahold of her hand and her gaze lands on his touch.
"Exactly, and that is the trouble. That is what has gotten you into this predicament." She drops her hand from his grasp, and he appears pained at her action.
"I am catching a ship back to London tomorrow. I'm sorry I came, I have simply ruined everything." She nods, a lump in her throat, she cannot take it, him right here in her presence. Her resolve is slipping with the look he gives her. She hates this, feeling.
"I am sorry William, for everything." Before she loses it completely, she closes her hotel door in his face. Once the door is shut, she slides down the backside of it.
"Wait, Eliza.." he reaches out too slowly for her, and the door is closed. She sits at the bottom of her door and the tears pricking her eyes, spill over.
Her heart breaks, knowing that her actions are hurting him. She does not want to hurt him, but she looks at this mess and she already has.
"Eliza, Eliza come on, open the door. Please." He insists, his voice rough.
At that moment, an extremely untimely voice is heard behind him, "Marriage. It is only normal to have rough patches." Ella walks down the hallway, tending the rooms. She has a basket in her hands and nods to him before going downstairs again.
Just a rough patch. But they love each other and love comes first, he reminds himself.
He kicks himself for reacting the way he did with the copper, but he would have done that again if someone threatened Eliza's life. He fumes. Ultimately, his greatest regret? That rubbish he said to her in his cell. Those words, over her. What was he thinking? He knows she resorts to her wall when she is hurting, and he was an arse.
Gar, was he an arse. He did this.
He just wants to kick her door down, take her face into his palms, and kiss her worries away. But he knows, that is not realistic tonight. The last thing he wishes to do is frighten her again.
He walks away, knowing if he does not fix this, he will have lost Eliza again, and this time, maybe for good.
xxx
Eliza packs her suitcase, wiping tears from her eyes. Just like that? Everything is over? That easily? He was protecting her, but she was right, love did cloud his judgment. Would he have killed him if she was not there? William is not a killer. But something came over him. She had never seen him that way before. So threatened that he spewed out threats himself, like arrows. Was she his weakness?
If so, it is indeed better that they are apart. She wants nothing more than his safety, his success, and his happiness. And she just ruined all of that for him. Her coming to New York has just cost him everything. And that is unforgivable. She moves to the armoire, beginning to take her hair down.
She closes her eyes for a moment then, letting her heart feel love for him one more time, letting the waves of his love wash over her, filling her with such a rush of warmth. She is unsure that she will ever feel this way about another man as long as she lives. She always thought she would marry for love. But how does one marry for love, when the only one she has ever loved is unobtainable?
If this is truly the only love she will know for her whole life, maybe she should indulge in it, just until tomorrow.
Her heart skips a beat, she let it out of its cage and now it is betraying her. It's nearly midnight, Ella could be asleep. She really should not risk waking her to send a late telegram, that would be selfish. Yet Eliza's heart, and the rowdy thing it is, pushes her out the door. It will be a miracle if Ella is still awake. Eliza's feet hit the stairs, she takes them rather quickly, yet also tries to be as quiet as possible. She gets to the restaurant level and looks right, her feet however taking her left.
"Oof." She runs into a solid being.
"Forgive me, I am so sorry, I did not see you. I did not know anyone was still awake." She says, as the person slowly turns around.
"Eliza? What are you doing awake and out of your room at this hour?"
Her fierce eyes appear and her spunk returns, just for one more night, she tells herself.
"I was not aware you are my father?"
Duke smirks at her.
"What are you doing here? Picking up another restaurant owner?"
His nostrils flare, and he glares at her intensely. He leans forward slowly, seeking her permission. She blinks, her hands landing against his chest, her fingers fiddling with the buttons on his striped shirt. He slips his cool palms around her face. She shudders from the chill they bring. She tilts her chin up, waiting for him.
When she cannot wait anymore she tugs on his shirt, bringing him to her, parting her lips for him to take charge. He kisses her deeply. He moves his body, pressing her back against the wall. His lips light her on fire.
She kisses him back, savoring every moment of passion. He runs his hands up into her hair, a treat that it falls down her back, over her shoulders.
He loves this woman, and he does not want this to be the end. She pulls away from him, with a glint in her eyes. She begins climbing the stairs, back to her room. He stands, frozen at the bottom of the stairs, leaning his hand on the banister. He watches her closely. She turns around then, smiling at him. As she winks, he loosens his collar, stepping up after her. The woman is truly his undoing.
As she fumbles with her door, he moves her hair to the side and kisses her neck.
"Willaim, you are making it very difficult to open this door, and we only have tonight." Her confession floods his mind and he stands back, as if someone poured a bucket of ice water over him.
She pushes the door open then, turns around, and smiles, she ushers him in, but he stays in place.
His face, turning into a bit of a smolder, "I do not wish for this to end tonight."
"William," She tilts her head, brows furrowing, "please, for I may never love another man the way I love you." She says sadly. She approaches him, pulling on his collar, forcing him to look her in the eyes.
His eyes stare into hers. He licks his lips but then pulls away from her, releasing her wrists from their grasp on him,
"Good, because I wish to have you all to myself. For as long as life lasts." He inhales and blows out a sigh.
He stays in the doorframe of her room, speaking to her.
"William, I cannot be with you. You saw what happened today." Her eyes glisten.
"I saw the woman I love be threatened. After great thought, I am certain that any man in love would have reacted the way I did. Was it inappropriate because of my line of work? Yes. Was that your fault at all? No. Your love does not cloud my judgment, Eliza. Earlier I was going to say, your right, love comes first. Love is everything. At that moment, when I was beating him, I was thinking about what would happen if I lost you. If I lost my future. I would be crushed. Eliza, you are my family. You are my future." He makes his speech for her heart.
She shakes her head, vulnerability bubbling back in her.
He leans his arm against the doorframe, and asks her,
"What other man will be supportive of your work?"
"I will be a spinster." She chuckles, knowing she is losing this battle. Tears spill over and down her cheeks.
"Please, Eliza. Do not leave back to London like this. I love you." He searches her eyes, peering deep within her, looking for her answer.
"I want to be with you when I get home." The sincerity coming off of him nearly chokes her.
"William," she mouths, shaking her head.
"Do you love me?" He asks her, approaching her, his voice lowers, "Say no, and I will say goodbye to you, right here, tonight."