AN: Jack finishes his letter to Sara. During A Brief Candle. This isn't particularly Sam-ish, but I think it plays an important role later on. Hang in there, it's only Season 1!
"Dear Sara..." that was a good start, right? She deserved so much better than a "Dear Sara" letter. The fact that his mineral clone had done a better job of healing his relationship with Sara stung. He knew the relationship wasn't repairable. He'd done too much damage for that, but he did still love her. If there was something he could do before he died prematurely to make her future easier, he owed her that. She had forgiven him for Charlie's death. He wasn't sure why, but she had. There were plenty of other things he had done since then that also didn't deserve her forgiveness, but she deserved to know that he at least knew he had hurt her. So much.
How do you say, "I'm sorry I abandoned you when you needed me most"? What a damned hypocrite he was. "No one gets left behind," was a motto he could recite—and probably did—in his sleep. But when she had been hurting, he had left her behind. He had retreated into himself, too fixated on punishing himself for Charlie's death, that he couldn't see that he was punishing her just as much. That was something she never deserved. Sara was a great mom. A great wife too. SpecOps spouses were cut from different cloth than the rest of the world. Not to say there weren't hard times, but she was tough as old shoe leather—handling anything the Air Force threw their way.
Dear Sara,
I won't patronize you by recounting the incalculable offenses I've committed over the years. You know them better than anyone. I wish you didn't have to know them. I may not be able to see you again, so I wanted to make sure I told you at least once how much you have meant to me. You always were too good for me. I knew it when I asked you to marry me anyway, and I know it now. After all those years of being saddled with my dead weight, I hope you are finally able to find what you deserve in life. As the great Whitney Houston would say, "I wish you joy and happiness." The good things, Sara. You only deserve all the good things.
Love,
Jack