8
"What now?" Jack asked softly as he fiddled with some rope that was actually platted clothing.
Ianto was getting used to this, seeing that Jack was happy to take direction and he smiled softly "The next problem will be the privy."
"Huh?"
"Loo? Toilet?"
Jack stared at him.
"You see, we blokes can piss over the side, the girls will not like that… also… craping with our arses in the wind is not good either." Ianto was talking softly as he chose another length of fabric to plait into the long rope "So… I am thinking about how to make a privy before Gwen, or someone decides one of the life rafts will do. Like… who wants to be in one smelling of crap if we have to abandon the Slide Ship?"
"Shit."
"Do-do. Yes."
Sniggering started, like two little boys in the playground, both men grinning wildly as they tried to look industrious but were shaking with mirth too much to get much more done.
"So… what about the sheet set?" Owen asked from beside them.
"What?" Ianto's hands stilled as he looked up from them "Sheets?"
"Yeah… one of the suitcases had like… silk sheets or something, like... they had all sorts of romantic shit in there" Jack said, then watched Ianto heading to the pile on the other slide raft. He soon found it and sat holding them, knowing they were brand new.
"See? Must have been newlyweds, see here… a button hole pressed in the diary." Jack held out a book and Ianto was not sure if he wanted to look, knowing instinctively that this had been 'his' newlyweds who had bene sucked out along with the fuselage, their hands still clasped together.
"Fuck."
"So… are these are help?"
"A big help Jack, brilliant" Ianto said, seizing his face in his hands and kissing him before taking off, leaving him sitting there amongst the luggage with a look of shock.
Ianto soon had the sheets draped and fastened at the back of the two side-by-side life rafts. With them on each slide raft, the entire raft now sort of had two cabins… and he had things sorted in his head.
"You see…" he was explaining to everyone who had come to see what he was doing "The little V shape here behind and between the round rafts, created by the two round life rafts is perfect for a little private space. A privy. I have placed the sheets so you can go in and… take care of business in one of the many sick bags or empty food containers we plucked out of the water. Good idea saving those Toshiko… number twos can be flushed over the side and the containers washed…. Unless it's a beastly discharge and then we can forego a container all together, there are plenty more. Urine can just be washed out of the container and the container reused. The two slide rafts joined here have created this great seat to hang your arse over… a real sitting down loo."
Everyone nodded as he added "Do not all go look at once. For fucksake, you will capsize us. One at a time. Call out when you want to use it in case someone is already in there, please. No sitting on someone's lap."
Laughter now as everyone saw a little bit of luxury and Gwen said in a sulky voice "Great in stormy weather. Do we just hang onto the ropes?"
"Why Gwen? Want me to come hold you on the loo?" Ianot asked angrily "I am not your mother ya know. I am not your leader or the one who put us here. We are all in this together, like it or not, we are all on this fucking raft. A little positivity is more useful right now than a mood."
"Sorry mate… it's OK" Rhys grimaced "She is… a bit flighty when scared, that's all. Comes out swinging."
"Well… sooner or later she will hit my Bastard Button and I will swing back, and believe me, she does NOT want to find herself in the soup!" Ianto snarled, still bristling.
"Right. Next is allocation" Jack cut into the conversation. "In an emergency … we are sinking, must man the round life rafts to survive, these two things are all we will have left if a rogue wave gets us or the air finally escapes from the floats. Me, Ianto, Toshiko and Owen in one raft. The rest of you in the other."
Everyone stared at him and Ianto felt his eyebrow rising so Jack explained "Suzie and I are the representatives of the company. So, we need to be in one each. Couples stay together."
"Would it make you feel better if I take the baby?" Ianto asked.
"Still eleven of us and it would be five and six… oh god. Can't Mark go into your one?" Gwen asked pointing at the lone man who had been opening a freshly retrieved suitcase.
"No. That man is my stalker, followed me onto the plane and I do not want a Hallet spy anywhere near me" Ianto said firmly, the man in question looking at him with shock.
"How… how did you know they sent me?"
"Of course they did. All the legal bullshit to try and keep Lisa alive when she had a DNR on her records, and was begging me to help her die while she could still talk… then the court case over me wanting to cremate her as per her wishes when they wanted to burry her in the family plot… then the fight over who owned her ashes. Christ, they tried to go for half. Half. Half a person. Fucking ghouls. Of course they sent you… one of their cronies… after me to try and stela back the ashes, or at least report back where I scattered them so they can claim the spot. Think I am stupid?"
Silence.
"Lisa?" Suzie asked.
"My wife. My dead wife. My dead cheating, lying and incredibly lovely wife. She got cancer. She died" Ianto was so angry he was shaking "her family hated me on sight… wrong colour for their mocha family ya know. So… she got sick, they started trying to get Power of Attorney over her, they tired to overrule her wishes, even tried kidnapping her from her death bed. Messy, horrible and I think added only misery to her final days. Now she's dead the fight is over her ashes. She wanted them scattered over the beach she played at as a child when on vacation with her family, I intend to honour that."
"And they hired you to stop him?" Rhys demanded his anger also palpable.
The man did not answer, just looked from man to man and another thought crossed Ianto's mind, a darker, more… horrible one that had him pausing, then asking "They are paying you right? You are here on their orders to take her home for them right?"
The man did not answer.
Ianto sighed as he then asked "So… were you one of her lovers then? Here on a fucking quest?"
Fucksake.